All language subtitles for Taxi zum Klo

Do you want to come with me
on my adventures?

Good!

Don't be afraid if I take you along to
public restrooms or the baths.

You see, I like men, I'm 30 and
a teacher by profession.

Otherwise I'm your normal, tired, neurotic,
polymorphously perverse teacher.

I radically separate my job from
my private life and pleasures.

I go to the weekly teachers; bowling
night, sometimes visit an older colleague...

Yes, that's really all I have to
do with them.

For Christmas my parents send me
underwear, socks and towels.

My father has a bad heart and my
mother tends toward hysteria.

They refuse to discuss my very
special relationship to men.

TAXI TO THE TOILET

Good morning!

Well, I never! That's my paper.

I locked myself out. Only borrowed it.
I have to use your balcony...

Why? What for?

I won't have you naked
on my balcony!

- GUESTS -

"The teacher scolds Klaus.
Klaus, you've done the worst job.

And gets an F".

Fill'er up?

Yes, but fast, please.

Is the oil okay?

Take a look.

You need an oil change.

If I break down before then
can I give you a call?

Yes, of course.

Just a second.

- 6232412-

Good morning, children!

Good morning, Herr Ripploh.

Take your sits.

Please excuse me for being late,

but everything went wrong this morning.

Something really stupid happened,

I go out my door to get the paper the
paperboy always leaves on the stairs,

turn to go back into my apartment,
and bam! The door slam shut.

Now I'm going to act out what I did.

Okay, I was standing outside my door.

What did I do?

Siegfried?

Well, first, you got the paper. Then
you looked and the door was closed.

Then, you thought a bit and asked if
you could climb over the balcony.

And then it was so high.
And then you climbed over.

You figured that out very nicely.

But now I'd like to know when you've
been lucky an unlucky in your lives.

That was our homwork, wich you've
written for today.

Now we want to hear from you.
Take out your notebooks...

So who wants to begin on this
side of the room?

Okay, Godana.

Read, and the others be quiet.

Read us what you have.

Lucky! Yesterday on the way home from
school Bernd called me "stupid".

So I pushed him, and he fell down
and hit his head.

It didn't bleed, but Bernd turned
very pale. I really had quite a scare.

It could've turned out bad
but we were lucky.

Who on this side will read the
opposite theme, "Unlucky"? Andreas!

Unlucky! Recently my mother let me
stay overnight at my girlfriend, Anja's.

She gave me a special bathroom
cup with my name on it.

Brushing my teeth, I suddenly noticed

that the toothpaste was very bitter...

WHAT TURNS YOU ON?

EVERYTHING!

Shit head.

Shit!

Kids will start an uproar when they
don't get their dictations back.

Hopefully I can quiet them down.

This'll will be some week.

What's down for Monday again?

Oh, this damn Chilean
solidarity meeting.

I'm not going. No way. I'd rather
go to the baths.

Supposed to be a new bar there,
very cruisy with a "back room", etc.

I'll definitely have to stop in.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday: hopefully
nothing's booked yet...

Bowling night!

Oh, am I tired. Well, if I have to.

Klaus Schnee: Latin.

Bernd Kröger: Geografy.

This bull from parents. Student
participation doesn't work.

They should try being the teacher.

Markus Voigtlander: German.

Hey, I really like Karin. She's
a girl with potential...

But I know...

your love affairs last
only 3 days...

With Karin it can work. She looks
loose but she isn't.

That's a really one very
together girl.

You ruin 'em all, kid.........

Oh, stop it. All...

Friends call me Peggy: Sex Education!

Irmgard Lademacher: English.

I can't drink. My liver. Don't
want a reaction like before.

Think you'll ever get over your
chronic problem?

No, I don't think so.

Neither do I.

Gregor Becker: Physics and Chemistry

And Marguerite Dupont: French.

Say, what's the story with
your neighbor?

My naked neighbor?

I'm getting
to know him well.
Is he engaged or what?

No, I've kept an eye out, and
never seen a lady there.

Hey, what did I tell you?

There are only male visitors...

Let me just say...

In summer, the windows are open, right?

Our Herr Ripploh receives only men.
No woman groans like that.

And you didn't want to believe me.

Eberhard Freudenthal: Religion.

Irmgard, have you seen the film
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR?

Yes, I saw it, but a long time ago.
I don't remember it anymore.

Great how the young people in the film
were led to faith and Christ today...

in this directionless age
in which we live.

Yes, that just reminds me of
English instruction.

You can't simply imagine the
problems which come up...

in teaching children a foreign language.
Like mixing "a" and "an", "uh"...

Beate Springer: Physical Education

Can I butt in for a second?

You know why Khomeni has his
pubic hair shaved off?

(a nasty X-Rated German joke)

You old screw-ups. it's Irmchen's
birthday!

Ley us toast!

Nobody gave it a thought.
But I didn't forget.

~ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you... ~

~ happy birthday, dear Irmchen...~

~ happy birthday to you. ~

~ We are all going to heaven... ~

~ because we are so good... ~

~ because we are so good... ~

Shit! Mom's birthday is coming up.

God, what will I give her, anyway?

She always gives me the
same thing, too.

I'll give her a telephone cover.

That's a good idea. That'll please her.

That’s it!

Yes, what is it?
This is the last show.

The film's almost over.

What, already? I thought you have a
late show at eleven.

No, not during the week. Program's
been printed everywhere correctly.

Man, that's just great!

Sometimes they make mistakes, but this
week everything's right.

No. Sorry about that.

Is it possible to still get a cup of
coffee here? Chocolate or something?

Maybe there's still some coffee.
I'll have to see.

Looks like the coffee's gone.
Sorry about that.

Then how much is this?

That's 80 Pfennigs.

I'll take it.

But unfortunalely I only have 70.

Oh, well. That's okay. The 10 Pfennings are
nothing. It's closing time anyway.

Then, I wish you all the best.

Same to you...

Hey! Which way are you heading?

Well, listen. Where shall
I let you?

I think the subway doesn't run
anymore at this hour.

Oh, just stop it at any bar.

If they have anything warm, I'd
like to drink it, since my stove's out.

Where do you live?

Me? In Kreuzberg.

The usual, standard... naturally no bath,
toilet on the landing...

but that makes it cheap.

What do you pay for rent?

59,58 Marks.

You can drink tea at my place.

Yeah? That'd really be nice.

Can I also take a bath?

Help!

- Who's that?
- Shit!

Please!

For God’s sake!

Please, won't you open the door?

What's wrong with you?

Please, please, help me!

Yes, it's alright... now calm down.
What's wrong?

First come inside. Come with me.
What... ? Okay, it's alright.

Just come into the kitchen for God's sake.
Now sit down.

My, what a mess. What happened, hm?

Can I help you in any way?

I'm so sorry that I have to bother you...

No need to feel sorry about that.

Naturally I'm trying to help you,
but you have to tell me what's wrong.

Someone, someone tried to beat
me up... for no reason...

Okay. Who is "someone"? Your husband?

No, not someone.

No, my "husband"... ? I don't know...

He's a man I live with.

But we have to do something. Look:

- You come running in here in the middle
of the night.
- I'm sorry, too.

I'm also sorry to be bothering you...

But that's alright. You just have to say...
Don't you have anyone I can call?

I mean, I can call the police...

Please, please, no. Not the police.

But that's what they're for...

No, please don't...

Bernd!

Come here, will you? There's a young
lady who has taken a beating.

Can't we put her in the other room?
Must be an air mattress or something.

What do you think?

No, no, it's impossible.
I just can't...

I'd suggest...

you freshen up a bit. That'd be better.
Then we'll figure out what to do.

Straight ahead on the right.
Go on in...

And if you need anything, just say
so, and I'll get it for you. Okay?

You want to let her sleep here?

Well, yes. Why not?

-You can let someone spend the night here.
-My God, it's not so...

My God, I want to sleep. She's loaded with drugs,
and who knows how nuts...

I mean, you saw how she stammers. Can you
imagine what's behind all this?

He'll bust in here swinging and then
we're all in it. No thanks.

Find out what's what; otherwise call
information or... It's the best answer.

"Information Desk 14."

Yes, good evening.
I have a small problem here.

A woman's come by here, and she
obviously needs help.

And I've heard there's some kind of
place one can turn to...

"We're long distance information.

What you need, however, is probably
the police or the rape line..."

But there's a permanent house here.
I've heard of it.

"Here in Berlin?"

Yes. Where women can find some refuge
from rabid husbands.

"A house for women who are being
harassed by their men?"

Yes. Exactly.

"Okay, then hang on a moment. I'll ask my
colleague if she's heard of it."

Yes, thank you.

-"Are you there?”
- Yes, yes.

“A woman here gave me some information...

which might be what you're looking for.”
-Yes, yes.

“It's called the Berlin
Women's House.

Now I just have to find the number,
if you think that's it."

Yes, that must be it.

-"Please take this down.”
- Yes, yes.

“The number's 826..."

And I'm quite sure that they'll
help you there. It's their job.

And now, have a drink. I think we've
all earned it, don't you?

I called a taxi. Put this on...

Bernd, that's really sweet.

As for the coat, just bring
it by sometime.

Oh, here is the taxi.

Then, take care of yourself!

Is that supposed to be a heart?

Just look. Isn't that a magnificent
landscape? Oh, to be able to live here.

But Bernd, nobody can afford it here.
Just think how much the land costs.

Alright, it doesn't have to be here.

I could have something in Hitzacker,
on the Elbe.

There was an ad in the paper; a small farm
along with some land.

And that's within reach.

And how are you going to pay for that?

I've some money put aside and I know
a few people who are interested.

And what's more, I mean you receive
aid as a civil servant...

And I'm suppose to subsidize you?

You're supposed to come along,
you can teach also there.

You'll be a village school teacher.

But I moved to the city to work here.
Not to rot away as a village teacher.

Okay. But you surely don't want to stay
here forever with...

nothing but bad air.

Aside from nuclear reactors,
what's in Hitzacker?

Nature! And it's cheap! Vegetables,
raise animals, fresh eggs daily...

- It sounds good, doesn’t it?
- Oh, yes.

And when we're an old, retired gay
couple living with our lesbian cook,...

we can adopt some kind of mongoloid kid and
write on the door: "Beware of dog".

Oh, you always have to
spoil everything.

"Now, quickly grab a footstool.”

- THE MUSICAL WAY TO HEALTH-

" We place it so we can straddle it...

in order to jump up and down.

Naturally, we always must look down.
Why? So we jump exactly in the middle.

Ready? Music please.

One, two, three, four. One, two...

Yes, that's just fine. Shift..."

That's torture!

"We're jumping very gently,
with our muscles tense..."

"RIAS Magazine. Today:
Consumer's studio.

You ask a question,
Annette Pfeiffer answers..."

Today we want to take a closer look
at the individual parts of the body.

They can be removed, as you see.

So. What am I holding here, Heike?

The rib.

That's partly right, at least from the front.
But what's behind the ribs?

The heart.

No.

The lungs.

Don't give the answer, Ralf!

You can pass that along and show
the others what it looks like.

Now, we have here a second rib which
we'll give to Olaf to pass around.

So. And what am I removing
from the middle, Anja?

The heart.

Send it along its way.

And now comes a very important organ
which lies under the rib case. The...

What is it?

Beate!

Liver.

The liver. What does the liver do?

It cleans the blood.

It cleans the blood like a filter
plant purifies dirty water.

Everything's decontaminated there.

Here's a part of the body...

which sometimes causes us trouble:
the stomach and the...

What is this?

Do you know?

Large intestine.

The intestine. Why does it sometimes
cause us trouble? Who knows?

If it's plugged up...

What happens if it's plugged up?

Then it doesn't come out.

What doesn't come out?

Why does it sometimes cause us trouble?

"Pfeiffer here. Good morning!"

"Good morning, Frau Pfeiffer. Recently
my daughter bought a disco T-shirt...”

“She wears it often, especially at night,
since the design glows in the dark.”

“Now my question Frau Pfeiffer: doesn't this glowing
design emit hazardous radiation?"

"No, it's like this.”

“I inquired in Neu-Herberg at the main
Institute for Radiation Research,”

“and there they told me, in general,
and I assume it goes for her shirt, too,”

“that these rays are not hazardous.”

"They're such low doses,
that there’s no cause for alarm."

The big organ here...

Liver.

What always beat so hard?

Heart.

Who has it?

What is it, Godana?

I have a question.

My daddy looked at my dictation
notebook yesterday,

and there's the message:
"Call 6232412".

He thought he should call you,

but some man answered

and then hung up.

I'll call up your daddy, Godana, and
clear up the misunderstanding.

I've always tried to call you,
but your phone's always busy.

Sabine gets one "F" after the other.
I mean, something's amiss.

Either Sabine is stupid or you're
an incompetent teacher.

Frau Lostoter, there are also
children who do "A" work.

With your daughter, I have the feeling...

that she's really... let's say, a bit
weak around. In other subjects, too.

My first question: how do you
account for that, as her mother?

Okay. It's like this:

Sabine 's no worse than the other kids.
I mean, she's nervous only in school.

You should come by our house. You'd
see that Sabine really works.

I mean, naturally I can't supervise
her all the time.

I have a business to attend to.

Now and then I give her a valium,
but that's no real solution...

Have you thought about sending
your child away?

I mean, we have a children's
camp right here in Berlin.

Yeah, that's all fine and good,

but, I mean, I have seven kids
and a garden shop.

Can you see the problem?

I mean, I don't have the money.
It's that simple.

Look, family assistance is there
to help you with that.

I don't want to hear about assistance!
I'm glad they don't come in the house.

Then I don't see how I can help you.

You like flowers?

I mean, all life's a give and a take.
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

You send me a copy of a dictation...

I mean, just between us,
only for the difficult words...

I can drill her, and you have a lush
balcony in the summer.

Frau Lostöter...

Cash Machine

Instructions for Use

PLEASE ENTER SECRET CODE

100 Marks CHANGE/VERIFY

YOUR ORDER IS BEING PROCESSED
PLEASE WAIT

Second floor, right.

When I take a walk on the street,
it's an adventure for me.

It's my domain
and things sometimes happen.

You can also participate.
Try it yourself sometime.

Know how they used to handle infidelity?

What do you mean "used to"?
I simply can't stand such...

Stone'ed to death.

Oh, that's great!

Times are changing.

Thank God! You're acting like it's
the middle ages here.

Moreover, I don't want to be Joe Normal,
and I'm sick of such discussions...

You could've at least said something.

Next time you join in. Understood?

How does Bernd see our living together?

Our sexual relationship also isn't
that exciting anymore.

Either I'm too eager or he's too shy.

But I love him, and that's the most
important thing.

Then why do I always split when it's
really so nice and cozy?

I can't exist alone.

But can I force myself to become
a faithful and true lover?

Main thing is that Bernd doesn't leave.

That'd be horrible.

And when I'm old...
will I be so restless?

Hopefully I'll at least have enough of
a pension to afford a boy prostitute.

But I'm afraid of becoming some old
fag who hangs out around urinals.

Hopefully I didn't catch anything
from this last guy.

For the last few days I've had such a
strong discharge, so yellow and slimy

I have to change my slip two or three
times a day. And so much blood.

I don't know what it is. My doctor
send me here to this skin specialist.

I'm also a little bit scared.

It's no wonder with my job.

I work as a party girl in the Phantom
Bar. Know it?

Phantom Bar?

Say, don't they run those little ads
in the paper? Live-Show?

Yeah, right. For 30 Marks: lick, blow
job, fuck...

Yes, I read that. And you actually
have to...?

Of course. People come in and they'd
like a blow job without a rubber.

Naturally I have to do it
not that I "have to",

but the money! You get more if you
do it without a rubber, right?

So, it could be that I somehow or
other caught something.

What kind of men usually come in?

Oh, all sorts.

Now, get this: recently I had one and
I'm telling you...

When I think of it, I really
get the creeps, you know?

What do you mean?

He ordered a bottle of champagne
and we go into the private room.

And suddenly he dumps a plastic bag
full of pig's blood all over me...

Just like that?

Yeah, and then he wanted me to give him
a blow job without a rubber...

Come, Piccolo, we're going...

... and naturally I didn't do it, I was
so nauseated. Another guy came in...

Yeah! Horrible. After he took off the
very classy suit he was wearing

Really disgusting: he pulls his cock
out and I rub the foreskin back. So,

And on his cock he had nothing but
these little white ringlets...

Herr Ripploh, if you please...

Then once a guy had...

I've been called.
Maybe later we could...

Yeah, okay. All the best. So long.

My God, how long do I have to wait?

Would you lift your scrotum a bit?

Yes you're right. There are small
wart-like formations here,

which can also infect the colon
inside, via the mucus membrane.

What kind of things are they?

They're virus infections of the
mucus membrane...

Next, I'll probe with my finger.

They're also spread through anal
intercourse.

Push a bit...

I think I also feel some inside.
May I have the proctoscope?

What's that?

It's an instrument which allows one
to look into the colon...

And that's supposed to go inside?

Please switch the light on.

Nurse, won't it hurt?

Very carefully...

Breathe gently.

You see? That's all there is to it..

Bernd, this is my bosom buddy, Wally.

Is this him?

Bernd, would you be so sweet as
to hang up the coat?

A nice boy. Handsome. I like him.
Appeals to me.

Oh, Wally.

Peggy, things just aren't so simple
anymore, so problem-free, and I find...

that one should be content if one has
a small piece of happiness at home.

And it's lovely.
You should be happy about it.

I am, I am...

Enjoy it while you can.
But what interests me is:

which of you two, I mean,
what's the configuration?

You mean... who fucks whom?

Exactly! You?

I mean,

Wally, that's none of your
business. Tell me about yourself.

Peggy, I'm so angry. I'm debating
whether to move out. I can't take it.

Nothing but foreigners living in
there. And the garbage! A catastrophe.

I simply won't have it.

I mean, when I moved in,
it was a nice, tidy place.

It's become unbearable, and I find
that it simply can't go on. So.

Otherwise I'm fine, have my own circle.
You know...

But you're still living in that
small place?

Still. But it's alright. One and a half
rooms for me is...

Am I dreaming? Whipped cream and cake?
Say, do you always live like this?

Only when you visit.
You look like it becomes you.

I just love it but I really have to
be so careful about my liver.

Wally, a little cup of coffee
can't hurt...

You're also a hypochondriac?

Is it fresh ground?
I can't stand instant coffee...

My God!

It's a regular circus here.

The student I'm tutoring...

My, but that looks so tasty.

I do say, Bernd.

Should I sit in the corner?

Yes, take a seat at the
kitchen table.

So, unpack your things.
But first tell me:

how was your dictation today?

Is it really true that Peggy 's the
more active one of you two?

You really want to have
it spelled out.

I thought I'd ask.
It interests me.

What's "active"? Above, below...
what do you mean?

You mean, you alternate?
You know very well what I mean.

You planning to make a pass
at me or...

I mean you're not unattractive.

You get right to the point.

Peggy has taste.

But perhaps I can show you
a thing or two.

What do you have in mind?

Peggy brought something from school,
a film that's always shown there.

You want to show me a film?

With small children...
maybe that's something for you.

Well, if you have no better ideas.

EVERYDAY DICTATIONS
Dictations for Grades 5 to 10

Notebook out. We'll end a bit early today.
I'll dictate one sentence at a time.

Okay. Heading:
"Caring for the Fawn".

Hmm. CHRISTIAN AND HIS
STAMP-COLLECTOR FRIEND. Oh, so that's it.

Say, does Peggy do tutoring because
she needs the money, or what?

I mean,
she makes enough as a teacher.

Well, filmmaking's an expensive hobby,
isn't it?

Peggy always had expensive tastes.
Isn't that lovely with the old street?

Definitely something historical.

"Hello, Christian."

"Hello, Herr Bukhard."

"So, how was school today?"

"Oh, it was okay."

"I have something new: a few very rare items.
Come by this afternoon,

and I'll show them to you."

"Sure. Around three o'clock."

"Yes, but it's just between us."

"Right, like always."

You can't do that with such a child.
Now look at that.

These are the enlightened films of today.

"Where are you going, Christian?"

"To swap stamps."

"That's fine."

They showed us other films
in biology class.

"Come in, I've been expecting you."

Do you think that's right? I don't
think that's right.

"Oh, wow?"

Look what I brought you.

My dear Holger,
that looks very nice.

What are they?

They're soldiers.

But I'd say, put the soldiers away.
It's time to work, okay?

"Look, that's what I meant.

I'll give them to you..."

How about if I give one to you
and we omit one of two sentences?

I already said we'd stop early today.
Careful, I'll choose the nicest one...

"When it's for you, it's no problem, Christian."

That's what they're like. You can see
it by the hair. So.

"Cautiously the forest ranger approaches
the abandoned baby animal."

"Perhaps in return you also could
be a little bit nice to me."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll show you."

My God, you have to mimic everything!

It was only in fun.

"We're very nice to each other."

Come now, Holger. Concentrate a bit
okay? Not like that.

Couldn't we play horsey?

Play horsey? Now?

Yeah. I'll just sit down here...

"Men can also be tender to one another."

Enough! Full steam ahead.

Now, pay attention...

"Come. We'll sit down on the sofa."

Come, sit down."

I mean, when we adults do that,
it's something different.

It's free will. It's a free choice,
one might say...

"Isn't that nice for you, too?"

Come, now you touch me."

"No, I don't want to."

"But it's not so bad."

Poor child has a shock for life.

"If you say anything, we'll
both be locked up.

We'll both go to jail, understand?
Both of us."

Repeat!

"Shivering and half-starved a fawn
stood beside its dead mother."

"But what happened?"

God, and the mother!

No, this poor mother. Now she has
to deal with it.

"Nothing, momma, nothing! I can't tell.
This Herr Burkhard..."

"What about Herr Burkhard?"

"He did something with me."

God, no! I wouldn't want to be
in her shoes.

"How would you carry out your
idea of law and order?"

"Yes, law and order. First, I'd begin
... given that I'd be in government...

first, I'd set up a work service and
land project for unemployed youth.

A land project, above all. I mean,
farmers need new blood,

since farmers are dropping in number
in our country."

Bernd, come here. Some Neo-Nazi.
You've got to hear him.

"...those who just hang out all the
time will be put in the army.

Secondly, I'd introduce the death
penalty for sex offenders,

for traitors, for those who take hostages,

and I'd set up a work camp right away
for anti-social types and homosexuals.

A work camp and also a
re-orientation center.

Of course, practically the first step
for any country must be

to create ideals for young people,

and this country has no ideals to offer."

"What would these ideals be?"

"For example, love of country..."

"If one can choose a really big one,
that's something. Right, Zasa Zasa?"

Say Bernd,

where's the acid that was in
that little box?

I've no idea.

Oh, man! Everything always disappears
in this house.

And don't wait up for me. I'll be
late tonight.

Bye.

- Hi!
- Bernd!

Don't get too close Bernd. I'm contagious.
Just look...

They still looks quite nasty.

This morning's rounds scared me so.
The procession: head nurse, doctor, etc.

And they checked my liver...

GOT and GPT and Gammablobullin or
whatever... and it's still over 1,000.

1000. Is that a lot?

Yes. I'll probably be here for
another six weeks.

Six weeks?

Bernd... this place is driving me crazy.

The first: cleaning lady runs in here
at 6 a.m. and shoves the beds around.

Then you get served some kind of
porridge. Like a madhouse, in and out.

But 6 o'clock is normal. It's
really a time fit for a prince.

Look elsewhere they wake you at 2,
because there's no personnel.

Then the entire atmosphere with this
straight fatso. Probably passed you.

He snores and grunts and pukes over
there the whole night...

Can't you talk the head doctor into
letting you take care of me at home?

I don't even catch a glimpse of him.
What do you think? You're third class.

You get the inters, the people fresh from
school, who only worked with models,

and they need to learn. But forget
about head doctors.

Had you been smart... I told you to
get the comprehensive coverage...

then head doctors and the best
specialists would be standing here.

Man, did you come here just to tell me
what I should have done! How stupid!

It's true.

But, no. What do you do? Run around in
toilets, cellars, dark, parks, dives...

Thank yourself. Hopefully you learn
something. Right, hide under the covers.

I'll come by again on Sunday. No
visiting hours until then .

I'm interested in a trip to Caprivi.

I have the catalogue here.

No. That's Capri, in Italy. Ca-pri-vi.

Just a moment, please. Be right back.

Formerly German Southwest Africa.
A fine patriot you are.

That's not in our catalogue. Sorry.

And now, where to?

Drive me to the Victory Column.

A wedding trip? Or a honeymoon?

I'm going with a boyfriend.

Oh, you mean a study trip.

Yes, sort of a combination. It
should also be relaxing.

A hotel on the beach or in the city?

On the beach, so you can see the
ocean and know where you are.

So, you mean a hotel with
an ocean view?

I've a nice one here. With a beach
nearby. You take an upper floor

and have an ocean view.

That sounds very good to me.

It looks quite nice. I can figure
out the cost for you.

Please do. That's very kind.

"Three Corpses Yanked from Coffins"

One week or two?

Two weeks.

Half or full board?
Or simply breakfast?

Uh, it's so hot there, you wouldn't eat
during the day, anyway.

Half board?

Yes, that'll do.

So. That's two weeks. Barbados.
Half-board for two. 2,872 Marks...

Yes...

Price: 26 Marks, 20 Pfennigs.

Included is one warm meal...

And nothing more? Some kind of
excursion?

No. No excursions.

Maybe a drink evenings at the bar?
They surely have Bacardi on...

You'll have to bring your own
spending money.

That'd be another thousand Marks...

You have half board with one
warm meal, anyway.

That's breakfast and one warm meal.

Say, Germany's not a bad place
either, is it?

So, how was your day?

These shitty bureaucrats.
I'm sick of them.

Here, just try this!

Hey, back off with your sauce.
I don't want to taste it.

Oh, why not? I worked so extra hard...

Bernd, I don't want your sauce right now.

Then I'll just eat myself.

Do you think other people haven't
worked hard?

What do you think I did the whole day?
Nothing but hard work.

Must you always do that, after I made
it look so nice?

It's also something for the eye.

Out of one's own pudding, one surely

can fish out a mandarin. What next?

What part would you like?

You'll soon see what I'd like: I'll
take something.

My God, after I worked so hard.

That's exactly what drives me nuts:
that you always work so hard.

Have any idea how many people I've not
seen lately, because we hold up here?

And you fatten me up like a pig.

God, then I'll stop cooking altogether.

Bernd, that's not the point:
to stop cooking altogether.

But these stupid set patterns in which
you greet and treat me every night...

I really can't take it. I'll decide
when I come, when I eat and when I go.

A relationship must have some order.
There's no other way. Can't you see?

For me, it's not something ordered.

I myself want t decide when I feel
like seeing you or not seeing you.

I don't have to check in and out with you.

Man, it's really disgusting. Should
I phone ahead?

For heaven's sake!

Oh, for heaven's sake... Then
eat it by yourself.

- Heinz.
- No.

- Carl.
- No.

- Hans.
- No.

Give up.

Oh! The oil change

You coming?

Oh, I'd really love to, but
I have a meeting at school.

I'll write down my address, okay?

-Phone number's still the same? –Yes.

But you wanted to give me that!

The women who fascinate me and make
me take notice

are the "master"-types.

Women with big tits, leather corsets
and brandishing whips.

Or completely crazy, earthy broads.

I find them very amusing.

But sexually they're totally
foreign to me.

Above all, the female sex organ.
A kind of trauma for me.

I find it really repulsive.

I can't handle it,

such a labyrinth!

Really odd.

No, thanks. Then I'd rather...
oh, yes: coffee at Irmchen's...

Strife like this is such a
mental and physical strain.

I've had it. You know how it is
from your own experience.

You have a real love problem, I think.

Yes, it's not pleasant. It's really a drag.
What was it like with you?

Oh, God... at first I also
found it awful.

You know that I have a boyfriend.

When he comes to see me daily,
I'm so happy on the first day.

On the second day I'm proud to walk with
him, and I think I'm not so abnormal,

but rather like everyone else,
taking a walk with a man.

And on the third day I think: it's not so great;
I'd rather be walking alone.

The other isn't so important.
And later, after he's gone,

I'm happy. I could sing all day
for once again, I'm alone.

Tell me, Irmchen...

this furniture... isn't very
expensive now?

Well, I had to save up,

but it cost 25,000 Marks.
It's not really that expensive. It's within limits.

25,000 Marks? For a room like this?

Well, it's expensive,
but we can afford it.

Yes, as civil servants.

This lamp here. It matches the drapes.
How do you do it?

I wasn't sure if the color would match.

But, just look: the lamp...
I mean, it's a bit lighter...

but the fringe here has exactly the same
shade. It's the same color.

Yes, I'm also pleased that the
colors harmonize.

Already thought about where you'll go?

Yes, I thought I'd like to go
to Morocco,

since you know, I’ve never been to Morocco.

And I've heard so many good things.
Should be interesting. Another world.

~ Queens' Ball, Queens' Ball,
Queens' Ball.~

~ Only once in every year is Queen's Ball.~

~ Don't ask about tomorrow,~

~ better kissed today than never. So do
it once again at Queens' Ball...~

Is Romy Haag here, too?

No. I don't believe so.

So many straights, aren't there?

It was nicer in the Hassennaide.

Do you work in the night world?

What do you do otherwise?

Work during the day and dress up at night.

Lovely. I thought of shaving it off,
but then I can't shoot the rest.

Did you make the dress yourself?

No, I have everything done.

Who made it for you?

A good lady tailor.

You here with a date?

Today I'm solo. And you?

I have a whole swarm around me but I
still must choose.

What do you do for a living?

I groom horses.

Groom horses?

Where? In Gatow? Are you a stable boy?

Yes... yes!

Are there other nice stable boys
there with you?

Some, yes.

-Do they know you're gay?
- No.

No! Can't risk it. I think I'd
lose my job.

How long have you been there?

About two years, I think.

-Tell me, do you have a phone?
- Yes.
764
-And where do you live?
- Charlottenburg.

Come. Let's have some champagne.
We'll have to exchange addresses.

And what do you do?

I'm in the school system. I'm a teacher.

A teacher? You're a teacher?

We can't all be stable boys.

I never would thought so.

Why not?

Just because. I see a teacher
quite differently.

Much more upright or so.

Naturally they don't know that
I show up here.

~ One plus one. That makes two.
Kiss and smile along.~

~ Even if at times you cry, live for today.
What's past is forgotten.~

~ It happens as it must. First comes
the first kiss.~

~ Then comes the last kiss.~

~ And then the end...~

Bernd!
Hey, now wait a minute.

I'm coming with you.

Hold it.

Man, I can't keep up.

Wait. What's the rush? How stupid...

Can you just tell me why you're
in such a big hurry?

You stand around the whole evening like
some dummy, trailing me with sad eyes,

and now you just can't get home
fast enough.

What am I to do at the shitty ball?

Watch how you run after your stable boy.

You can't think of anything else but
your stupid jealousy.

I mean, can't you amuse yourself a bit,
meet people and have a little fun?

Damn it, I'm not interested. I told you
so. Now I'm going to do what I want.

You're not interested in anything,
since you're a totally boring wallflower.

You pester me like a fly. I'm to run
around the whole night with such a jerk.

Can't you for once do something
constructive?

You can only complain, and that's all.

I'm not interested in that shitty ball!
I'm going to do what I want.

Then do it... but do it by yourself.

I will!

Kiss my ass.

Won't you come to my place for awhile?
A little champagne, cocaine and bed.

If it were just champagne and cocaine,
I'd gladly come.

But my students are in class
waiting for me. I really can't.

Shall we roll for it? I've some dice.
Even, you go. Odd, you come.

Well, okay. Roll...

Good morning, children!

Good morning, Herr Ripploh!

Where were you?

Where's your prince?

Has the principal already seen you?

Not yet, thank God.

It looks good on you.

Thank you, Jeanette.

Women don't have beards.

Godana!

Did you have a nice night, Herr Ripploh?

Yes, very nice, although it lasted
a bit too long: right up until now.

I had no time to sleep, and I thought:
should I go to school like this or not?

Then I simply came here.

But I brought you something nice,

so we can do something totally
different. You should have fun, to.

And, now...

each of you gets a dice.

And the dice has six possibilities.

And you roll. I rolled a one.
So I do the first thing,

six things that you'd most like
to do right now...

forgetting that we've a principal,
school rules, teachers, regulations.

Then you roll. Make a list from one
to six: first this, second that, etc.

And you write down on a piece
of paper I'm handing out,

Others roll a three or four...
and now pass out the cards,

and someone distribute the dice...

What are you doing there?

Oh, I only want to pet the little lamb.

What wishes have you made?

My first wish is to rip the veil
from your head...

Beat up everybody...

Paint on the blackboard...

Be the best...

Yell "shit!"...

Make noise...

Remove the ink cartridge and squirt
it on the wall...

Stick my finger in a wall socket...

Break things...

Beat up the teacher...

Tear the picture...

Cut holes in the sweater...

Celebrate carnival...

You've all rolled. Now you have
the chance to do what the dice suggested.

What wishes

would I make for the dice?

Should I write Bernd a letter?
Give it one more chance?

... And then buy the farm with him?

Oh, that probably wouldn't work.

Or should we both kill ourselves?

That's too dramatic.

Can we do any more than simply
repeat it all?

PEGGY AND BERND GET BACK TOGETHER.
PEGGY LOST HER JOB AS A TEACHER AND
BECAME A FILMMAKER FULL TIME.

You saw excerpts from the film:
CHRISTIAN AND HIS STAMP-COLLECTOR
FRIEND

"Made by the West German
public school system."