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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:02,156 --> 00:00:03,956 I don't know why I'm feeling this like deep, 2 00:00:04,024 --> 00:00:05,558 aching sense of dread. 3 00:00:05,583 --> 00:00:07,703 David, I'm more than capable of looking after your store 4 00:00:07,728 --> 00:00:09,462 while you and Stevie work the flea market. 5 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:12,074 Why did Patrick have to book today of all days 6 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,062 for his tax seminar? 7 00:00:13,087 --> 00:00:15,898 Like who voluntarily goes to a tax seminar? 8 00:00:15,923 --> 00:00:18,759 Maybe the kinds of people who want to keep their businesses? 9 00:00:19,874 --> 00:00:20,827 Okay, hi. 10 00:00:20,852 --> 00:00:24,043 You are literally only here to receive a package. 11 00:00:24,068 --> 00:00:26,103 So I cannot have you distracted your phone... 12 00:00:26,128 --> 00:00:28,863 unless there's an emergency. And then immediately call... 13 00:00:28,888 --> 00:00:30,222 Call Patrick. I know! 14 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,294 No! Patrick is at the tax seminar! 15 00:00:32,319 --> 00:00:33,887 Are you hearing anything I'm saying?! 16 00:00:33,912 --> 00:00:36,532 Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man 17 00:00:36,557 --> 00:00:38,558 to drop off whatever. You can trust me. 18 00:00:38,583 --> 00:00:39,983 Okay, can I? 19 00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:41,820 Because the last time I left you in charge of something... 20 00:00:41,845 --> 00:00:44,740 Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi? 21 00:00:44,765 --> 00:00:47,066 - Actually it is. - Okay guys... 22 00:00:47,091 --> 00:00:48,959 You left me with six of them, David. 23 00:00:48,984 --> 00:00:51,219 Taking care of that many is like a full-time job! 24 00:00:51,244 --> 00:00:55,417 I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! 25 00:00:55,442 --> 00:00:58,077 And by the time I came home, they were all dead. 26 00:00:58,102 --> 00:01:00,689 You have to like actively murder them 27 00:01:00,714 --> 00:01:02,982 - in order for that to happen! - Okay, David, 28 00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:05,828 um, as much as I love carrying out all these boxes by myself, 29 00:01:05,853 --> 00:01:07,499 I think she's going to be okay, 30 00:01:07,524 --> 00:01:09,725 so maybe you could give me a hand? 31 00:01:09,906 --> 00:01:12,073 How did David con you into this anyway? 32 00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:14,571 It gives me an excuse to take a break from rehearsals 33 00:01:14,595 --> 00:01:16,429 with your mom for a day? 34 00:01:16,454 --> 00:01:18,593 Um, last night she texted me at 3 A.M. 35 00:01:18,618 --> 00:01:20,786 and all it said was "leggings." 36 00:01:21,468 --> 00:01:23,546 - Hmm... - We have to go. 37 00:01:23,571 --> 00:01:25,648 Um, you're welcome, by the way, David. 38 00:01:26,026 --> 00:01:27,507 Who knows, maybe after today 39 00:01:27,532 --> 00:01:30,100 you'll finally stop talking about... Tamagotchi. 40 00:01:30,125 --> 00:01:32,727 Unlikely... murderer. 41 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:38,985 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 42 00:01:42,747 --> 00:01:44,833 Unfortunately for everyone, John, 43 00:01:44,858 --> 00:01:46,859 Stevie turned out to be quite the find. 44 00:01:47,037 --> 00:01:49,964 She'll need a lot of direction obviously, but... 45 00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:52,024 you know, ballet intensive, 46 00:01:52,049 --> 00:01:54,386 perhaps some mittens to curb the nail biting. 47 00:01:54,411 --> 00:01:56,478 Moira, I love the way you pour yourself 48 00:01:56,503 --> 00:01:57,589 into your projects. 49 00:01:57,614 --> 00:01:59,596 But the whole point of this spa trip 50 00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:02,290 was to take a breather from cabaret. 51 00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:05,754 Yes John. I promise to enjoy the 60 minutes I'll spend 52 00:02:05,779 --> 00:02:08,047 having my deepest tissues palpated. 53 00:02:08,148 --> 00:02:10,745 Then a few sips of cucumber water. 54 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,871 Factor in five minutes for you to use the facilities 55 00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,418 and we'll be back home by noon. 56 00:02:14,443 --> 00:02:16,534 And we're not rushing through this, Moira. 57 00:02:16,559 --> 00:02:19,428 We've got an entire day of treatments ahead of us. 58 00:02:19,453 --> 00:02:21,776 Today is for slowing down, 59 00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:25,386 and getting reacquainted with our bodies. 60 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,102 Okay, just please give me a moment to make a decision 61 00:02:29,127 --> 00:02:30,433 on this chaise lounge. 62 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:32,063 Oh, put the phone down, Moira. 63 00:02:32,088 --> 00:02:33,655 Whatever it is can wait. 64 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,815 It's for Fraulein Schneider's Salon. 65 00:02:35,962 --> 00:02:38,420 Do you prefer the olive suede to the Merlot? 66 00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:41,987 Similar texture but falls apart in emotional complexity. 67 00:02:42,012 --> 00:02:44,183 I can't look right now, Moira. I'm driving. 68 00:02:44,208 --> 00:02:45,809 All right. I'll hold it up for you. 69 00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,235 No, Moira, I can't right now. 70 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:48,927 It's just a quick glance, John! 71 00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:50,596 All right, then you need to hold it straighter. 72 00:02:50,621 --> 00:02:52,522 That... oh-oh, what was that? 73 00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:55,294 - A tiny speed bump. - Speed bump? 74 00:02:55,319 --> 00:02:56,686 We're in the middle of nowhere. 75 00:02:56,711 --> 00:02:58,111 Why would there be a speed bump? 76 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,704 No, I think I, I think I hit an animal. 77 00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:03,053 Oh, it's the circle of life, John. 78 00:03:03,303 --> 00:03:05,671 You've just provided a nice Passover Seder 79 00:03:05,696 --> 00:03:07,797 for a family of hawks. 80 00:03:08,963 --> 00:03:10,830 No... ew... 81 00:03:14,453 --> 00:03:16,654 John, 82 00:03:17,026 --> 00:03:18,518 don't get too close, dear. 83 00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,853 We can't afford you contracting mange. 84 00:03:20,878 --> 00:03:24,136 It's a cat, Moira. I hit a cat! 85 00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:27,093 Well, what kind of ailurophobe 86 00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:28,618 sends their kitty out to play 87 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:31,278 on such a busy stretch of highway? 88 00:03:31,303 --> 00:03:33,604 It's got a collar! This is someone's pet. 89 00:03:35,753 --> 00:03:37,746 There's a farmhouse right there, 90 00:03:37,771 --> 00:03:39,878 probably belongs to them. 91 00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,376 Or not. 92 00:03:47,781 --> 00:03:49,282 Okay, so this is really good, 93 00:03:49,383 --> 00:03:51,684 we just need everything facing forward. Facing forward. 94 00:03:51,861 --> 00:03:54,596 Facing forward. See what I'm doing here? 95 00:03:54,621 --> 00:03:56,189 Okay, like a serial killer? 96 00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:59,025 David Rose! 97 00:03:59,126 --> 00:04:02,097 - Oh God! - Would you look at that? 98 00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:04,263 If this isn't a full circle moment, 99 00:04:04,288 --> 00:04:08,158 - then I'm not twice divorced. - My God, Wendy! 100 00:04:08,183 --> 00:04:10,351 This must be your wife. 101 00:04:10,432 --> 00:04:11,511 - No. - God, no. 102 00:04:11,536 --> 00:04:13,870 No, no, Wendy, this is my friend, Stevie. 103 00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:15,295 Stevie, this is Wendy. 104 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,654 Wendy used to employ me at the Blouse Barn. 105 00:04:17,911 --> 00:04:20,913 I'm so sorry, I don't mean to jump to conclusions. 106 00:04:20,938 --> 00:04:24,401 I guess I've got marriage on the brain again. 107 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:27,201 If you can believe it, I'm engaged! 108 00:04:27,654 --> 00:04:29,822 - Hmm, wow. - Congratulations. 109 00:04:29,847 --> 00:04:32,849 Well, you know what they say about love, 110 00:04:32,874 --> 00:04:34,842 it's like target practice, 111 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:37,651 if you just keep shooting at it... 112 00:04:40,138 --> 00:04:44,698 Anyway, David, I was hoping you would have settled down by now! 113 00:04:44,805 --> 00:04:47,440 Oh, I actually own this business with my partner. 114 00:04:47,465 --> 00:04:48,999 Get outta town! 115 00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:51,692 I know, I am as shocked as you are. 116 00:04:51,764 --> 00:04:54,900 Well, I guess that makes us flea buddies. 117 00:04:54,925 --> 00:04:56,472 I've got my own booth. 118 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,796 Wow, so we're reopening the Blouse Barn? 119 00:04:58,828 --> 00:05:02,986 Oh, no, no, no, just test driving a new business idea, 120 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:07,780 brought to me by my new partner, Antonio. 121 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,875 Antonio! 122 00:05:10,335 --> 00:05:11,902 What are you doing? 123 00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:14,562 Come over here, so I can show you off! 124 00:05:17,062 --> 00:05:18,763 Hey. 125 00:05:18,788 --> 00:05:21,523 Well, Antonio, say hi to everyone. 126 00:05:21,706 --> 00:05:23,807 - Hi. - You look very familiar. 127 00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:25,827 Have I seen you in my store before? 128 00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:27,505 I don't think so. 129 00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,431 Okay. 130 00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,717 He seems sweet. 131 00:05:34,742 --> 00:05:36,676 He reminds me a lot of you. 132 00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:39,770 Well, isn't that a compliment. For him. 133 00:05:40,227 --> 00:05:43,414 I better get back and help Tony set up the booth. 134 00:05:43,439 --> 00:05:47,209 It was such a treat seeing you, David! 135 00:05:47,507 --> 00:05:49,272 And you, Karen! 136 00:05:51,186 --> 00:05:52,569 Karen's a new one. 137 00:05:52,594 --> 00:05:55,963 I have... definitely seen that guy in my store before. 138 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,967 Do you think that Wendy knows her fiancé 139 00:05:58,999 --> 00:06:01,108 has been checking out every guy in here? 140 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:03,892 She has the worst taste in men. 141 00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:05,418 At one point, she told me 142 00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:08,111 she was looking for a Jon Gosselin type. 143 00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:13,960 Sorry, we're closed. 144 00:06:13,985 --> 00:06:15,061 Very funny. 145 00:06:15,086 --> 00:06:17,697 Ugh, I was hoping you were the delivery guy. 146 00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,990 - Thanks. - No, I'm just like, so bored. 147 00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:23,250 Well, I am not the delivery guy, but I come bearing gifts. 148 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,084 But I didn't pay for that. 149 00:06:28,109 --> 00:06:30,844 I know, I got it at the flea market. 150 00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:33,788 Thank you for the delivery. 151 00:06:33,813 --> 00:06:36,281 Do you need my signature? 152 00:06:36,683 --> 00:06:38,303 Oops. 153 00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,243 Oh... wow! 154 00:06:41,427 --> 00:06:44,186 Uh... um, miss, 155 00:06:44,715 --> 00:06:48,084 seems that the strap has fallen off of your shoulder. 156 00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:50,530 I'd offer to put it back for you, 157 00:06:50,555 --> 00:06:53,090 but as a delivery guy, 158 00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:54,779 I don't know if it's my place. 159 00:06:54,804 --> 00:06:57,600 Oh, how respectful. 160 00:06:57,810 --> 00:07:00,845 Now, if only you had that much respect for my time. 161 00:07:01,048 --> 00:07:03,449 I've been waiting here forever. 162 00:07:03,474 --> 00:07:05,942 Um, sorry that I'm late... 163 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:10,342 my... grandmother passed this morning. 164 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:12,288 Ew! Oh my God, Ted! 165 00:07:12,489 --> 00:07:14,724 Sorry, I wasn't prepared for an improv. 166 00:07:14,749 --> 00:07:16,583 No, it's fine, it's fine. 167 00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:20,879 Okay, what else weren't you prepared for? 168 00:07:21,632 --> 00:07:25,311 - The... import taxes? - Hmm... 169 00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:27,277 Okay, obviously I'm not good at this, 170 00:07:27,301 --> 00:07:28,578 can we just skip to the good part? 171 00:07:28,602 --> 00:07:31,037 Yes. Okay. 172 00:07:32,788 --> 00:07:35,408 So, you and I just innocently witnessed 173 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:36,673 an 18-wheeler barreling down... 174 00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:38,458 Moira, I'm just gonna be honest, all right? 175 00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:41,957 There was an accident, it was tragic, unavoidable, 176 00:07:42,136 --> 00:07:44,217 and then we'll be on our way. 177 00:07:44,242 --> 00:07:46,443 Mm-Kay. 178 00:07:52,911 --> 00:07:54,845 Can I help you? 179 00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:58,574 What... beautiful day, isn't it? 180 00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:01,052 - Crops need rain. - Yes, yes. 181 00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:03,370 Oh, as they often do. 182 00:08:04,277 --> 00:08:08,125 Um... well, we just had an unfortunate thing... 183 00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:12,220 My husband struck down your feline with our car. 184 00:08:12,499 --> 00:08:14,534 Well, we don't necessarily know 185 00:08:14,559 --> 00:08:17,479 whether the cat belongs to this uh, gentleman. 186 00:08:17,504 --> 00:08:19,105 Well, what did it look like? 187 00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:22,671 The name on the tags was "Sergio"? 188 00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,701 Well, that was him. 189 00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:28,733 Oh, these city people driving too damn fast 190 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,303 up and down this road. 191 00:08:30,328 --> 00:08:33,158 No, I-I don't think speed was-was the thing here. 192 00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:36,178 No, my husband has what's called a feather foot. 193 00:08:36,203 --> 00:08:38,971 Well then, why did you stop? 194 00:08:39,072 --> 00:08:43,008 We thought it was... the decent thing to do. 195 00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,577 Um, now that's done, 196 00:08:44,602 --> 00:08:46,803 and we have a very pressing engagement so. 197 00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:48,969 Well, my wife is so right, 198 00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:51,596 we're running very late right now. 199 00:08:51,621 --> 00:08:54,870 The Hammam Spas are notoriously fickle about refunds. 200 00:08:54,895 --> 00:08:56,629 You're going to the spa? 201 00:08:56,957 --> 00:08:59,194 Well, that does sound important, 202 00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:01,120 but since you just killed my daughter's cat, 203 00:09:01,145 --> 00:09:02,779 coming inside to break the news to her 204 00:09:02,804 --> 00:09:04,504 might be a little bit more important. 205 00:09:04,529 --> 00:09:06,272 Don't you think? 206 00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:09,599 Hm, John, shall I pick you up on the way back? 207 00:09:09,624 --> 00:09:12,777 I know how desperate you were for me to have my day of detox. 208 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,060 No! No, Moira! 209 00:09:15,085 --> 00:09:18,741 I think it's better if you... come inside with me, 210 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,333 so we can uh, 211 00:09:20,956 --> 00:09:23,691 break the news together. 212 00:09:27,398 --> 00:09:28,918 Okay, this is the last of them, 213 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,044 unless you wanted me to bring in the 14 coffee cups 214 00:09:31,145 --> 00:09:33,665 and 3 empty chip bags that are also in your back seat? 215 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:37,325 Mhmm. David, remember when you thought Wendy's partner 216 00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,237 had been in your store before? 217 00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:41,412 He has been in my store before. 218 00:09:41,437 --> 00:09:43,048 Well, I think I know why he wasn't being 219 00:09:43,072 --> 00:09:44,373 so upfront about it. 220 00:09:44,398 --> 00:09:45,878 Okay, I know what you're gonna say, 221 00:09:45,903 --> 00:09:47,483 and I also thought that he was into me for a second, 222 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:49,499 but I'm pretty sure that's just his face. 223 00:09:49,524 --> 00:09:51,758 No. Look over at their booth, 224 00:09:51,783 --> 00:09:54,819 and tell me you don't notice any similarities. 225 00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:01,175 - What the actual fuck?! - I know. 226 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,359 - They've ripped off our entire store. - Yeah. 227 00:10:04,384 --> 00:10:07,119 Tulips instead of roses? Woof! 228 00:10:07,296 --> 00:10:09,831 Similar products. The labels even look like ours. 229 00:10:09,856 --> 00:10:11,524 Except, their stuff's half price. 230 00:10:11,549 --> 00:10:13,283 What? 231 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,852 Well, we have a very loyal customer base 232 00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:18,316 who would not be fooled by some skanky knockoff. 233 00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:20,709 Okay, Dave, I'm ready to check out here. 234 00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:22,435 Roland! What are you doing here? 235 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,837 You're supposed to be at the motel! 236 00:10:23,862 --> 00:10:26,597 I'm on my coffee break, and I ran out of foot cream. 237 00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:30,591 - Those are 3 for 15, yes? - These are not from our store. 238 00:10:30,616 --> 00:10:31,953 Well, what are you talking about? 239 00:10:31,978 --> 00:10:33,612 I just got 'em off your table over there. 240 00:10:33,637 --> 00:10:34,975 That's not our table. 241 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,068 Well then, why were you standing there? 242 00:10:37,215 --> 00:10:40,382 That's not me! And he's still standing there! 243 00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:44,155 Okay um, do you want the sale, or not? 244 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:47,102 Uh no, you can buy our superior foot cream 245 00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:48,461 at a slightly higher price. 246 00:10:48,638 --> 00:10:50,472 Geez. You were a lot nicer 247 00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:52,565 when I was talking to you over there. 248 00:10:58,694 --> 00:11:00,292 How far do you think we'd get 249 00:11:00,317 --> 00:11:02,218 if we just started running? 250 00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,816 When might we expect your daughter to show up, 251 00:11:06,841 --> 00:11:10,635 because we do have a very busy day ahead of us? 252 00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:12,894 Well, baby's still sleeping, 253 00:11:12,934 --> 00:11:15,636 but if you wanna go and wake her up, 254 00:11:15,661 --> 00:11:17,862 tell her what happened, by all means. 255 00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,836 Where is Bebe's chamber? 256 00:11:22,295 --> 00:11:24,630 Oh, there she is now. 257 00:11:24,655 --> 00:11:26,856 She's either up, or takin' a leak. 258 00:11:27,109 --> 00:11:30,445 Either way, great progress for Bebe. 259 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,301 Here she is. 260 00:11:32,473 --> 00:11:34,807 What's all this? 261 00:11:35,002 --> 00:11:36,703 Who are you? 262 00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:40,668 Uh, hi, Johnny Rose, Baby. 263 00:11:42,627 --> 00:11:44,728 - This is my uh... - Sergio's dead! 264 00:11:44,753 --> 00:11:46,321 Ugh. 265 00:11:47,727 --> 00:11:49,094 What the hell? 266 00:11:49,119 --> 00:11:51,183 Yes, it seems he had taken ill, 267 00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:53,738 and stumbled out on the road poor thing, 268 00:11:53,763 --> 00:11:56,031 presumably to end it all. 269 00:11:56,056 --> 00:11:57,923 And then? 270 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,773 And then we ran over him. 271 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:14,082 Anyway, this feels like a very private family moment... 272 00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:17,494 that we're more than willing to share. 273 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,167 That's for you. 274 00:12:29,268 --> 00:12:31,557 Clearly that brand loyalty you were talking about 275 00:12:31,582 --> 00:12:33,438 is really paying off. 276 00:12:33,463 --> 00:12:36,231 Like to pay you off to not be here anymore. 277 00:12:37,786 --> 00:12:40,054 Roland, what are you still doing here? 278 00:12:40,079 --> 00:12:41,680 This will only take a second. 279 00:12:41,857 --> 00:12:44,225 Dave, I don't know if you remember or not, 280 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:46,451 but I purchased some foot cream from you earlier? 281 00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:48,329 That wasn't our foot cream. 282 00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:50,222 Yeah, okay, well you took my 15 bucks, 283 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,081 and now I'd like a refund, 284 00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:53,817 because I realized I've used this stuff before, 285 00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:56,577 - and it makes my feet stink. - Give me that. 286 00:12:58,698 --> 00:13:00,332 Ugh! 287 00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,434 It smells like pennies and burps! 288 00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:04,921 Oh yeah! Wait, that smells exactly like the stuff 289 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:06,280 we used to use at the motel. 290 00:13:06,305 --> 00:13:09,004 - Ugh. - Like, exactly. 291 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,385 Wait a second... 292 00:13:15,157 --> 00:13:16,991 That's why! 293 00:13:17,016 --> 00:13:18,550 Gel Time Moist Liquid. 294 00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:21,565 Contains 100% moist liquid. 295 00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:24,033 - Uh - oh, Davey got busted! 296 00:13:24,058 --> 00:13:25,924 Okay, this is not our product, Roland! 297 00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:28,994 Anyone who sells counterfeit luxury beauty products 298 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:30,659 is clearly a sociopath. 299 00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,171 Dave, I don't wanna tell you how to run your business, 300 00:13:33,196 --> 00:13:36,507 but 3 or 15 dollars for Gel Time is a total rip-off. 301 00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:39,444 I mean, pharmacies hand those out for free on Halloween. 302 00:13:39,469 --> 00:13:41,703 David, you have to talk to Wendy. 303 00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:43,039 Okay, what am I gonna tell her? 304 00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:46,385 That her curious life partner, who looks nothing like me, 305 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,644 is some big old con artist? 306 00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:51,895 $18 for toner? 307 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,241 Why don't you just on some Gel Time? 308 00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,567 That stuff will strip your skin right off. 309 00:13:57,965 --> 00:14:00,033 Ooh. 310 00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,868 Whoa! That was... 311 00:14:03,383 --> 00:14:05,651 I know, like are good, but that was like... 312 00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:07,611 You pulled some new tricks out. 313 00:14:07,725 --> 00:14:08,992 New to you. 314 00:14:09,156 --> 00:14:11,657 Anyway, David should leave you in charge 315 00:14:11,758 --> 00:14:13,726 of the store more often. 316 00:14:13,751 --> 00:14:16,638 Um... Ted, the door was unlocked the entire time! 317 00:14:16,663 --> 00:14:18,264 What? 318 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,342 Someone could've like, walked in on us. 319 00:14:20,367 --> 00:14:22,568 They would've gotten quite the show! 320 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:27,035 It's very... irresponsible and dangerous of us. 321 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,941 Well, now we know for next time. 322 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,210 Oh, um, I almost forgot, 323 00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:33,737 I never signed for that parcel. 324 00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,425 Uh, I don't think the guy showed up? 325 00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:37,883 No, Ted... 326 00:14:38,984 --> 00:14:43,680 Oh uh... oh, yeah I... I'd get your signature, 327 00:14:43,705 --> 00:14:47,269 but I guess I left my clipboard 328 00:14:47,294 --> 00:14:49,428 and scanner thing somewhere, so. 329 00:14:49,605 --> 00:14:52,007 Do you think it might be in David's new bathroom? 330 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:54,009 Apparently it's just for customers, 331 00:14:54,034 --> 00:14:55,835 but he never lets anyone use it. 332 00:14:56,012 --> 00:14:58,547 I remember now, I definitely left my scanner thing in there. 333 00:14:58,572 --> 00:15:01,807 - Mhm... let's go - let's go find your scanner thing. 334 00:15:01,907 --> 00:15:03,619 Can I just request we actually drop the scanner 335 00:15:03,644 --> 00:15:05,560 thing bit just 'cause it's kinda throwing me off. 336 00:15:05,585 --> 00:15:06,919 Yeah, okay. 337 00:15:08,815 --> 00:15:10,149 Oh, this is nice! 338 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,451 - Uh - Oh! Is that a sink? 339 00:15:12,552 --> 00:15:13,886 Oh! A sink it is! 340 00:15:15,646 --> 00:15:17,914 Help me up, babe. 341 00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:22,161 - Oh my God! - Fuck! Ugh! 342 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:28,243 How are we still trapped in this Gothic horror show? 343 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:31,447 You know, I think we've already missed the seaweed wrap, 344 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,574 and at this rate, it's not looking good for the salt scrub. 345 00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,253 You know, I wish there was something else we could do here, 346 00:15:38,278 --> 00:15:42,057 but uh, I really feel we've overstayed our welcome. 347 00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,250 Yes, we should really hit the road. 348 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:46,776 In that big, fancy car of yours? 349 00:15:46,801 --> 00:15:50,374 Oh it's... it's big, but it's not that fancy. 350 00:15:50,921 --> 00:15:52,324 Listen folks, 351 00:15:52,426 --> 00:15:53,959 we don't want much, 352 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:58,256 but you should cover the expenses of the funeral. 353 00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:01,250 The funeral... for your cat? 354 00:16:01,601 --> 00:16:03,736 Well, it was Baby's only cat. 355 00:16:03,761 --> 00:16:05,981 Perhaps it's the lack of air, 356 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,140 but I believe I saw three or four cats 357 00:16:08,165 --> 00:16:10,500 running around since this interrogation began. 358 00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:12,757 It was my only tabby. 359 00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:15,590 Okay, well maybe there's something we can do. 360 00:16:15,615 --> 00:16:18,250 Does Bebe enjoy the theater? 361 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:19,676 Hmm? 362 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:22,501 How about two complimentary, 363 00:16:22,526 --> 00:16:25,823 partially-obstructed view seats to Cabaret? 364 00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:28,617 No! She likes the Kinky Shoes. 365 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,481 You got tickets to Kinky Shoes? 366 00:16:31,506 --> 00:16:34,541 I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no. 367 00:16:34,566 --> 00:16:38,407 Well, maybe a professional massage 368 00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:41,183 might help ease Baby's pain. 369 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,075 I like massages. 370 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,320 So, now you're taking Bebe to the spa? 371 00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:48,090 No, I wouldn't be taking her Moira, 372 00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:52,184 but maybe Baby can take her uh, grandmother. 373 00:16:52,209 --> 00:16:53,777 - I'm her mother! - Yes, well that... 374 00:16:53,802 --> 00:16:55,497 Yes, you are! 375 00:16:55,522 --> 00:16:59,892 And you are going to adore the rejuvenating facial peel. 376 00:17:00,079 --> 00:17:02,681 Can I keep the slippers? 377 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,298 This is my favourite after shave. 378 00:17:06,476 --> 00:17:07,476 This is for you. 379 00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:09,001 - Go! - Okay. 380 00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:12,338 On my feet... 381 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,431 - Hi. - Wendy, hi! 382 00:17:14,456 --> 00:17:16,685 David! Isn't this great? 383 00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:19,078 The two of us, back together! 384 00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:22,972 Successful in business! Successful in love. 385 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,718 - Mhmm, totally. - Quick question for you, Wen... 386 00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:28,507 You know, when Antonio came to me with this idea, 387 00:17:28,532 --> 00:17:30,766 I wasn't sure there was a market 388 00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:32,491 for another general store. 389 00:17:32,668 --> 00:17:34,302 Everyone is doing them now. 390 00:17:34,327 --> 00:17:36,214 Yeah, I was one of the first, but I get it. 391 00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:38,340 And they sell all the same stuff. 392 00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:41,201 I'm sure you've noticed a similarity 393 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,546 - between our products and yours. - Sure did. 394 00:17:44,571 --> 00:17:46,272 Wendy can I speak with you for a moment? 395 00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:47,630 Sure. 396 00:17:48,226 --> 00:17:50,361 Why don't we go over to your booth? 397 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,888 It's so much quieter. 398 00:17:52,913 --> 00:17:54,413 Okay. 399 00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:59,270 Um, I don't wanna be the one to have to tell you this, 400 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,463 but it's about your fiancé... 401 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,609 You know Brad? 402 00:18:04,425 --> 00:18:07,335 - Who's Brad? - My fiance. 403 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,695 I thought you and Antonio were... 404 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,721 Oh David... 405 00:18:11,746 --> 00:18:14,348 We're business partners. 406 00:18:14,601 --> 00:18:17,085 Oh! Okay. 407 00:18:17,737 --> 00:18:19,705 Well, that's gonna make this a little easier. 408 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:22,884 Turns out Antonio is a common criminal. 409 00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:25,169 - What? - Stevie give me the... 410 00:18:26,088 --> 00:18:27,656 Look at this, please. 411 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,892 100% moist liquid? 412 00:18:31,351 --> 00:18:34,563 Antonio said it was locally sourced. 413 00:18:34,588 --> 00:18:36,874 Sure. If you consider the dollar store local. 414 00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:38,967 These sell for 99 cents. 415 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,993 Well, he's been charging me way more! 416 00:18:41,507 --> 00:18:43,338 I'm so sorry, you had to hear this. 417 00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:45,264 No, David, 418 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:46,975 I'm glad you told me. 419 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,602 I was gonna go into business with this person. 420 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,814 And I'm ashamed to say, 421 00:18:52,839 --> 00:18:55,074 in my weaker moments, 422 00:18:55,417 --> 00:18:59,086 I've been tempted to cheat on poor, sweet Brad. 423 00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:02,047 With Antonio? 424 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,893 Well, obviously you picked up 425 00:19:04,918 --> 00:19:07,342 on the intense heat between us 426 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:10,532 - if you thought we were a couple. - Yeah. 427 00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:12,024 Wendy, for several reasons 428 00:19:12,049 --> 00:19:14,135 I think you need to say goodbye to Antonio. 429 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,705 Ugh. How I'm gonna tell Brad. 430 00:19:17,046 --> 00:19:19,674 He and Antonio are roommates. 431 00:19:19,775 --> 00:19:23,044 They share this tiny one-bedroom together. 432 00:19:23,437 --> 00:19:25,513 And it is so crowded in there, 433 00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:27,740 they had to put the mirror on the ceiling. 434 00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:31,052 Yeah. Best to shut all that down, I think. 435 00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:33,288 David, 436 00:19:33,579 --> 00:19:36,258 what would I do without you? 437 00:19:36,446 --> 00:19:38,613 I literally don't know, Wendy. 438 00:19:39,671 --> 00:19:42,982 You wanna get high? 439 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,078 - No, but thank you. - Okay. 440 00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:54,146 Okay. So, the delivery man came in, 441 00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:56,007 used the bathroom, 442 00:19:56,032 --> 00:19:58,000 somehow broke the sink, 443 00:19:58,025 --> 00:20:01,060 and then left without delivering the package. 444 00:20:02,405 --> 00:20:04,373 That is correct. 445 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:06,851 I just find it strange that he would then leave a note 446 00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:08,710 saying, "sorry I missed you". 447 00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:10,956 Yeah. No... 448 00:20:10,981 --> 00:20:12,533 I think he meant, like, sorry I missed you. 449 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:14,659 Because I was here the entire time. 450 00:20:14,684 --> 00:20:16,729 And I actually think that he was like a little bit drunk, 451 00:20:16,753 --> 00:20:19,121 because he knocked over a lot of things. 452 00:20:19,146 --> 00:20:20,647 And you were here for this? 453 00:20:20,672 --> 00:20:22,439 Um, no... 454 00:20:22,768 --> 00:20:25,470 Well, you were here for part of it. 455 00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:28,304 Right. But I got here late... 456 00:20:28,632 --> 00:20:31,076 my grandmother passed away. 457 00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:33,102 - Oh God! - A few years ago. 458 00:20:33,127 --> 00:20:35,295 And it just been real tough to get over. 459 00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:36,874 Mhmm. 460 00:20:36,899 --> 00:20:38,984 Well, fortunately we had these security cameras installed, 461 00:20:39,009 --> 00:20:41,277 so I guess I'll just show that to the insurance people? 462 00:20:41,302 --> 00:20:42,735 I don't really know how this works, 463 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,468 Patrick went to that seminar. 464 00:20:44,881 --> 00:20:46,348 Oh. Um... 465 00:20:46,373 --> 00:20:49,828 honestly, I-I don't think that you wanna do that. 466 00:20:52,188 --> 00:20:54,256 You said that I could trust you. 467 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:56,501 First, the Tamagotchies, now this! 468 00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:57,960 Get out of my store. 469 00:20:57,985 --> 00:20:59,629 Okay, fine. You can take the money for the sink 470 00:20:59,654 --> 00:21:01,465 out of what you were going to pay me for today. 471 00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:03,135 I wasn't planning on paying you anything. 472 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,660 Get out! 473 00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:06,568 You too. Very disappointed. 474 00:21:06,746 --> 00:21:08,380 And if we're pointing fingers, David, 475 00:21:08,405 --> 00:21:10,873 I've done it on a lot of sinks and I've never had an issue. 476 00:21:10,974 --> 00:21:12,852 When you say you've done it on a lot of sinks... 477 00:21:12,876 --> 00:21:14,076 Out! 478 00:21:14,177 --> 00:21:15,911 Hmm. 479 00:21:15,936 --> 00:21:19,187 Ugh! I don't wanna touch this. 480 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:24,843 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 35274

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