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1
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:13,800
All right, it's the last day of school.
2
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:15,352
We got five minutes to go over
3
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,272
all of American history.
4
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,599
Wiped out the indigenous
people, oppressed the blacks,
5
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,340
did some good stuff around World War II,
6
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,937
and now the sun is
setting on our empire.
7
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,780
Yeah, I guess we did cover it all.
8
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,493
Yeah, and even some stuff
that didn't happen.
9
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:36,164
Like... landing on the moon. Come on!
10
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,118
I really gotta get you
off Reddit, Lorenzo.
11
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:44,214
All right, I see everybody
gazing, looking out the window,
12
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,504
ready to go full Braveheart on everyone.
13
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,298
"They might take our lives,
14
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,052
but they'll never take our freedom!"
15
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,928
Sorry, Ms. Thompson!
16
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,852
I didn't mean to scare you!
17
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,060
Oh, that's not gonna end well.
18
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,941
Of course, England did
take Scotland's freedom,
19
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,534
and they've had it for over 700 years.
20
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,690
Don't tell Mel Gibson.
21
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,486
Wait, Mel Gibson lost?
22
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:15,577
Yeah, it was kind of the beginning
of a long losing streak for him.
23
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,159
All right, bonus points.
24
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,615
What did America have that
Scotland didn't have,
25
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,537
besides men who wear pants?
26
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,091
This is coming from a
guy wearing shorts.
27
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,344
I got this. Weapons.
28
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,847
Seriously, Walt? You... You think
the Scots got to the battlefield
29
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:39,870
and were like,
30
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:40,920
"Hey, Angus,
31
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,808
is there something we're forgetting?"
32
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:47,765
"Oh, no, I got my charger
and my Bluetooth speakers."
33
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,569
"What're we forgetting?"
34
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,152
"Weapons!"
35
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:57,618
America was basically a castle
with a 3,000-mile moat.
36
00:01:57,990 --> 00:01:59,200
It's called the Atlantic Ocean.
37
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,240
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
38
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:02,502
Marisol is right once again!
39
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,170
Oh! You're always right.
You're worse than my ex.
40
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,590
All right, look, you guys.
41
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:11,010
It took the British two
months to sail food
42
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,339
all the way across to here, all right?
43
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,135
They could've just called Domino's.
44
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,255
Ooh! I'll split a Meatlovers.
45
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,636
My man.
46
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,482
Okay, lightning round.
47
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,889
Who remembers the Monroe Doctrine?
48
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,603
Anyone else?
49
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,356
Go ahead.
50
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,106
In 1823, James Monroe declared any
intervention by external powers
51
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:36,525
in the politics of the
Americas a hostile act.
52
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:37,819
So smart.
53
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,407
James Monroe!
54
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,665
Yeah, Mikey, real smart.
55
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:51,247
Okay, now, while Monroe is best
remembered for his doctrine,
56
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,917
I think he really should be remembered
57
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,336
as the first president with
enough courage to say,
58
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,681
"Enough with the powdered wigs."
59
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:03,260
I mean, seriously. Aside from RuPaul,
60
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,641
who thought this was a good look?
61
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,234
Our country was founded
by a bunch of dudes
62
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,904
who woke up every morning
asking their wives,
63
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,320
"M'lady, have you seen my wig?
64
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,910
I... I can't seem to find... And my
powder, I cannot find my powder!
65
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,741
Where is my powder?"
66
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,288
Anyway, we went 200 years
67
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,620
without such a bizarre hairstyle again.
68
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,250
Until now.
69
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:38,337
We went from powdered wigs to
one wig dipped in Cheeto dust.
70
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,400
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
71
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,947
At ease, y'all.
72
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:06,970
Oh, hey.
73
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,286
Mr. Iglesias is the cool teacher.
74
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,334
Why can't I be the cool principal, hmm?
75
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,590
- That's not a real question!
- Oh!
76
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,415
Hold on! Hold on!
77
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,508
Before you run off and
ghost ride your whips,
78
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,602
play dominoes on your stoop,
drink your sizzurp...
79
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,600
What is this old beat talking about?
80
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,910
I want you to tell me something
you learned this year.
81
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,270
Grace, you wanna make me look good
in front of Principal Madison?
82
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,398
Grace talks in front of people now?
I thought she had social anxiety.
83
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,105
Uh, she does, but she learned
how to talk using the computer.
84
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,446
She's still a little shy, though.
85
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,658
I learned that Principal
Madison sometimes cries
86
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:46,872
in the parking lot in her Ford Fiesta.
87
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,713
Not shy enough.
88
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,005
And for the record, it
is a Hyundai Elantra.
89
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,971
And for the record, Grace's
Wi-Fi just went bye-bye.
90
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,103
Gabe, I will see you
in my office at 11:15.
91
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,564
And some of you, I will see next year.
92
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,685
- Hey, wait, what do you mean, "some"?
- We just became sophomores!
93
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,809
Yup! Yup! PE requirements, done!
94
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,765
Everybody have a good summer!
95
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,185
Stay outta trouble!
96
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,780
Don't get caught!
97
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,363
Can I talk to you, Mr. Iglesias?
98
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,760
Being that I'm the only
person you speak to out loud,
99
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:25,800
I have to say yes.
100
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,575
I... I wanted to warn you,
101
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,745
Paula's probably a little cranky.
102
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,665
She hasn't been getting a lot
of pokes on her dating app,
103
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,080
if you know what I mean.
104
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,341
I know what you mean, but
do you know what you mean?
105
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,347
Grace, we talked about
your hacking problem.
106
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,058
How about you? Are you
on any dating sites?
107
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,143
Uh...
108
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,864
I, uh... Just one.
109
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,478
It's called, uh, "taking time to
reflect on my personal mistakes...
110
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,027
dot com."
111
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,608
Have a good summer!
112
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,248
Oh, this is sick!
113
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,880
- 1962 VW Bus. Hippie not included.
- Ah!
114
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,550
You can put it on your dashboard
for your summer trip.
115
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,089
Oh, thank you. Dashboard?
What do you mean, dashboard?
116
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,973
No, I'm putting this in
a safety-deposit box.
117
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,347
You know, this is officially
the nicest thing I own.
118
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,602
God, I hope you're kidding.
119
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,006
But you deserve it. Thanks for
a great year, Mr. Iglesias.
120
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,267
This is cool!
121
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,241
"Hey, come on, man, let's go!"
122
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,318
"I'm hungry." "Well,
let's go to Chipotle!"
123
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,574
"Hey, you know that's
not real Mexican food."
124
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,076
"I don't care, I'm high."
125
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,630
- Tony!
- Hey, bro.
126
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,643
Dude, were you just
stealing out of the basket?
127
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,220
No.
128
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,225
Come on, man. This is the GoFundMe
for Mr. Hayward's new hip.
129
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,479
I had another bad year at the track.
130
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,225
Oh, big surprise.
131
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,234
You know who doesn't have
a bad year at the track?
132
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,316
The track.
133
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,485
Well, you know what they
say about gambling.
134
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,736
"Just keep trying."
135
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,831
Eh, sounds like your dating life.
136
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,372
Yeah, well, anyway,
137
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,291
my losing streak... means I
gotta teach summer school.
138
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,293
That freakin' sucks, man.
139
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,206
I wish you could go with
me on this road trip.
140
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,085
Yeah, man, it'd be like Thelma & Luis.
141
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,848
Ah, there she is. Rookie of the year.
142
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,097
Oh, I don't know about that.
143
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:56,139
Come on, Abby, you're the
only new teacher this year.
144
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,225
If you don't win, that's just sad.
145
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,605
But I can be the
strong-but-tender shoulder
146
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,680
for you to cry on.
147
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,692
Ooh! Now I really wanna win.
148
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,824
So, are you excited for
your road trip, Gabe?
149
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,195
Yeah.
150
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,781
My bus is all gassed up,
151
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,196
got my '90s Spotify playlist
ready with a lot of R&B.
152
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:16,700
Yeah.
153
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,077
♪ I would never find another lover ♪
154
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,205
♪ Sweeter than you ♪
♪ Sweeter than you ♪
155
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,667
♪ And I would never find another lover ♪
156
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,585
♪ More precious than you ♪
♪ More precious than you ♪
157
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,512
You guys are adorable.
158
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,764
- Yeah, well...
- Yeah.
159
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,055
You know who's gonna
love you? My fiancé.
160
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,280
Ah, "fiancé," man. Yeah,
that's French for
161
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,420
"don't put your fry in her ketchup."
162
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,043
- Abby? Nobody's told you?
- Hmm? What?
163
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,448
No relationship survives
moving to California.
164
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,037
No. You gotta find that
special someone...
165
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,922
- here.
- Oh.
166
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,554
I hate to agree with him
on this one, but yeah.
167
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,627
You know those things you found
charming back in South Dakota?
168
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,755
Ah, they just won't measure up here
169
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:13,222
- in the big leagues.
- Uh-uh.
170
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,721
Oh! So, you two are the big leagues?
171
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,307
Yup.
172
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,266
Us and Ryan Gosling.
173
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,572
Hey, Mr. Hayward!
174
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,318
Gabriel. When are you going
to start calling me Ray?
175
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,031
What would've happened
if we called you Ray
176
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,661
- when you were our teacher?
- I would've whipped your asses.
177
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,954
Hey! Hey, who's been
dipping in my hip money?
178
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,753
You know, my grandmother
had a hip replacement.
179
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,960
Yeah? How's she doing?
180
00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:44,160
Oh, she only used it for a month, so...
181
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:45,620
we got most of our money back.
182
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,296
Hey, you got another year
left in you, Mr. Hayward?
183
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,740
The only way I can get out of here
184
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,635
without a goddamn party in my honor
185
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,179
is on a gurney with a
sheet over my head.
186
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:01,563
- Great, have a nice summer!
- Yeah, yeah.
187
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,520
♪ And all my life ♪
188
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,397
♪ I prayed for someone like you ♪
189
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,074
♪ And I thank God ♪
190
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,574
♪ That I finally found you ♪
191
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,326
♪ All my life ♪
192
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,658
Don't look at me, boo.
193
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,753
♪ I prayed for someone like you ♪
194
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,293
I gotta get a date.
195
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,745
- Do you have any brothers?
- Two. But they're married.
196
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,297
Not to each other, that would be weird.
197
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,085
Well, marriage is not
necessarily a deal-breaker.
198
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:37,093
Sneaking around can be an aphrodisiac.
199
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,309
So is honest communication
with your partner.
200
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,681
Ah, the history department.
201
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,688
Ms. Spencer, an outstanding teacher.
202
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,810
Aw!
203
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,200
Gabe and Tony,
204
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,439
also teachers.
205
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,779
Aw!
206
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,657
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have some letters to deliver.
207
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,284
You'd fit right in as a mailman.
208
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,279
Dogs already don't like you.
209
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,124
Captain Tennille, my Bichon
Frise, would beg to differ.
210
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,826
Did you rescue him?
211
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,631
No, he rescued me.
212
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:16,048
So, Helen Stone is taking
early retirement this year,
213
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,097
and one of you will be getting her
honor students section this fall.
214
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,548
I'll do it.
215
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,848
I can have a syllabus ready
by the end of lunch.
216
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,813
And Gabe drives a silly-bus.
217
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:30,015
Well, I guess that eliminates Tony.
218
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:32,821
Not yet.
219
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,545
All three of you take your lunch hour
220
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:35,993
and come up with a mission statement
221
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,410
as to why I should pick you,
222
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,318
and I'll make my decision
at the end of the day.
223
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,077
You know what I like doing
on my lunch hour? Lunch.
224
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,539
We all know you're gonna go with
Abby to teach the honor students.
225
00:11:46,550 --> 00:11:47,580
Aw!
226
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,713
Well, I like to think
227
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,211
that all of our students
are honors students.
228
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,709
And I'd like to think Idris Elba
is at home, waiting for me.
229
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,715
Come on, Tony, surprise me.
230
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,012
Don't suck so much.
231
00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,380
You know, when a coach picks on you,
232
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,805
that means you're the star player.
233
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,442
Hmm. Sometimes, it
just means you're bad.
234
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,185
Come on, Paula.
235
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,525
We both know you should go with me.
No one teaches history like I do.
236
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,487
I know. You're good.
237
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,784
That's why I let you slide
with the dress code.
238
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,622
What?
239
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,620
You can't hide these calves
from the rest of the world.
240
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:30,790
Oh, that hurt.
241
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,553
You got your assignment, Gabe.
I'll see you after lunch.
242
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,628
I can't get my leg off.
243
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,640
You okay?
244
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,016
You need some alone
time in your Elantra?
245
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,363
My kid is graduating from
middle school next week,
246
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,034
and my ex-husband, the first
one, is going to be there.
247
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,873
You meet the love of
your life at Freaknik,
248
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,488
and you think it's gonna last.
249
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,948
Gabe, he's bringing his young wife.
250
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,537
I've been looking for a guy
all year, but apparently,
251
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,963
I'm giving Southern California
carpal tunnel from swiping left.
252
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:16,140
You still got it.
253
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,840
You're smart, you're
pretty, you're strong.
254
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,629
You're an amazing administrator.
255
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,886
Is this all a part of
your mission statement?
256
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,966
If it's working, then yes.
257
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,846
Mr. Iglesias!
258
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,892
- Oh, hey, Walt.
- Great news.
259
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:33,280
I'm graduating early.
260
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,982
Graduating? What're you talking about?
261
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,316
Check it out, I got a
letter from Mr. Hernandez.
262
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,319
"Counseled... out."
263
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,988
Walt, you're not graduating,
you're... you're being expelled.
264
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,202
Well, I think we can agree,
265
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:48,623
the important thing is, I
don't have to come back!
266
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,964
School didn't want me, and
I've never wanted it.
267
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000
This is a no-fault divorce.
Just like my folks.
268
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,125
So, what next? Goldman Sachs?
269
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,086
Foot Locker. I'll make
those stripes look good.
270
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,560
Yeah, I doubt that. I
used to work there.
271
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:08,320
Heh. I looked like a fat barcode.
272
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,024
I think you can do
better than Foot Locker.
273
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,904
You know what I'd really like to sell?
274
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,649
Did the state of California
legalize it in 2016?
275
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,361
I was gonna say custom rims, but
I like your idea way better.
276
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,454
Thanks, Mr. Iglesias!
277
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,909
Uh, wait, no... Uh... You
know, I was thinking shoe...
278
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,530
- People need shoes!
- Not as much as they need weed!
279
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,907
Yeah, but they need the
shoes to get to the weed!
280
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,707
Hey, Tony.
281
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,004
Any of your students
get this weird letter?
282
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,250
Maybe. We're not that close.
283
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:44,179
Hey, can you help me with
my mission statement?
284
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,429
Sure. I can't believe I'm
still doing your homework.
285
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,394
Just get me started.
286
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:54,096
All right. Uh... Why do you
wanna teach the honors program?
287
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,975
Because it'd be way easier.
288
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,234
Lead with that.
289
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,034
You know, Tony, have
you ever had a student
290
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,239
who was afraid to try?
291
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,699
Yeah, that's half my kids.
292
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,904
Yeah.
293
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,160
And they worry that if they
try their hardest then fail,
294
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,831
they can't ever use the excuse
that they weren't really trying?
295
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,578
Yeah, I see it all the time.
296
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:15,917
Well, this isn't about my
students, this is about...
297
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:22,214
Oh! I see what you did there.
298
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,336
Gabe? I know we're competing
against each other,
299
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,000
but would you proof
my mission statement?
300
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:29,030
You too?
301
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,929
Charts? You got charts?
302
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,682
And a bibliography?
303
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,308
Yeah. Is it tacky that I cited
my own grad school thesis?
304
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,605
Yes!
305
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,243
- Wait. Is this PowerPoint?
- Mm-hmm.
306
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,659
You really do speak the
language of the honors kids.
307
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,690
Oh, thank you!
308
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:49,840
I also speak French.
309
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,697
Tu es très gentil, mon petit chou.
310
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,084
- What did that mean?
- I don't know,
311
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,964
but I've never been called "petite."
312
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,965
Hey, Mikey.
313
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,299
You got a letter, too?
314
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,007
Ah, it's probably just a bill.
315
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,200
At my house, we don't open those
316
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,176
till the one after final-final notice.
317
00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:18,040
Yeah, I get it. You know, growing up,
318
00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:20,401
we were on a first-name
basis with our repo man.
319
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,941
Yeah, Hector the collector
even came to my graduation.
320
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:25,120
Are you gonna pay that for me?
321
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,361
No, but someone is gonna pay for this.
322
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,156
Yo, yo, wait up, wait up!
I got more bills!
323
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,735
... to say...
324
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,445
- We're in a meeting!
- Yeah, and I'm in it too. Hi.
325
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,705
What do you want, Gabe?
326
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,923
What's up with these letters? And
what the hell is "counseled out"?
327
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,513
It's a nice way of saying to
our underperforming students,
328
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:51,179
"Dear dumb ass, get lost.
Kmart is hiring."
329
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,811
"Attention Kmart shoppers,
330
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,180
pay no attention to the
idiot on aisle five."
331
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:06,226
... aisle five.
332
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,241
Gabe, we are a public school.
333
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,816
Our funding depends on
meeting certain standards:
334
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,065
grades, discipline, attendance levels.
335
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,788
And the easiest way to
improve those averages
336
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,409
is to counsel out the kids
who are hurting the numbers.
337
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,245
What do you call this program?
338
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:23,502
"Some Children Left Behind"?
339
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,000
I don't hate it.
340
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,400
This program could make our school
341
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:34,553
the educational pearl of the district.
342
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,636
Yeah.
343
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,179
All you gotta do is swipe
left on a bunch of kids.
344
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:43,849
What's "swipe left"?
345
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,067
The story of my damn life.
346
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,951
- Ah, Mr. Hayward!
- Hey!
347
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,952
Have you heard about these
"counseled out" letters?
348
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,954
The "not our problem anymore" letters.
349
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,326
Yeah, sure.
350
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,328
Always easier to juke the stats
than reach the hard cases.
351
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,875
Something tells me I need
to sit down for this.
352
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,240
Gabriel, when I was about your age,
353
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:14,382
I got a job offer at a private school.
354
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,430
You know, where the
students wear cardigans
355
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,012
with the crests on them.
356
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,467
Hogwarts.
357
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:21,933
Yeah.
358
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,483
Then, at lunch, a couple of
kids got in a little scrap.
359
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,479
As I was stopping the fight,
one of the kids hit me,
360
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:31,855
and that's when I knew
I needed to be here.
361
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,744
Hit you so hard it gave you dementia.
362
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:34,821
No.
363
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,161
See, I knew what that kid
was dealing with at home,
364
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,440
and I knew what would've happened
365
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,252
if that kid had hit any other teacher.
366
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,580
If you had left,
367
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,413
you wouldn't have been here
when I was on the ropes.
368
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,860
You were one of the
kids that let me know
369
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,259
I was doing the right thing.
370
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,750
Wow.
371
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,167
I wonder where I would've wound
up without you, Mr. Hayward.
372
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,012
Well, you'd have been
in some low-paying job
373
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,302
with lots of stress,
374
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,431
long hours...
375
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,691
Hey, there she is. Always
reading something.
376
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,435
Yeah, my obituary.
377
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,899
No way. Oh, they've gone too far now.
378
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,277
You're not just my best student,
you're my favorite student.
379
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,914
We know you say that to all of us.
380
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,831
Yeah, I know, but when I'm
talking to you, I'm not lying.
381
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:24,780
Letter says it's 'cause of attendance.
382
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,958
I kinda missed some afternoon classes.
383
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,875
- Like how many?
- Like all of them.
384
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,843
I work to help my family,
but I did the assignments.
385
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:37,838
I'm gonna take this to
somebody who can help fix it.
386
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,305
Oh, my God, are you gonna
have Hernandez jumped?
387
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,886
No, but I like your idea much better.
388
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,960
Mm... I can't find any central database
389
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,260
for the kids who got the letter.
390
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,278
If I can't access the
list, I can't change it.
391
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,070
And believe me, I need to.
392
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,408
Wait, you too? Well, why
did you get a letter?
393
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,331
For doing stuff like this.
394
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,373
That's right. That's...
That's why I called you here.
395
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,497
Um...
396
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,671
I need your help getting Principal
Madison in a good mood.
397
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,631
Just get a pitcher of appletinis in her.
398
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,298
I don't even wanna know
how you know that.
399
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,761
It's on her profile.
400
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:28,266
"Just get a pitcher of appletinis
in me, and let the magic happen."
401
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,521
You know, Grace,
402
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:35,280
I want you to know how proud I am of you
403
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,282
and how far you've come this year,
404
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,034
in case I get fired.
405
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,237
Fired? Why would you get fired?
406
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,325
You're the best teacher in the school.
407
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,580
Which, let's face it, that's a low bar.
408
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,420
You think maybe you can, uh,
409
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,341
hack back into Principal
Madison's dating profile?
410
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,344
Hmm... Which one do you want?
411
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,351
Uh, Bumble, Tinder, UrbanSwipe.
412
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,968
She's on everything but FarmersOnly.
413
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,846
Oh, wait, she's on that one too.
414
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,521
- Yeah, girl is rocking that cowboy hat!
- Huh.
415
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:18,741
I'm going with...
416
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,114
Gabe!
417
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,235
Mother-flowers!
418
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,241
I mean, uh...
419
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,044
Congratulations, Gabe.
420
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,122
I just, you know...
421
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:30,997
Wow.
422
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,754
Hey, Abby, that is why you
should never try your hardest.
423
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,633
Ooh. Yay, me.
424
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,590
What's the matter, Gabe?
425
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:43,690
You won!
426
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,969
I figured right now you'd be
doing your touchdown dance.
427
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,100
You know...
428
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,929
♪ A little salsa, a little salsa ♪
429
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:52,056
♪ A little salsa ♪
430
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,654
You know, like a dab or two?
431
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,187
Come on.
432
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:56,605
Do your thing.
433
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:03,316
You know, I've been thinking...
434
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,365
instead of giving me the
teach-approved kids,
435
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,655
I don't know, why don't
you give me the kids
436
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:11,164
that got the "counseled
out" letter from Hernandez?
437
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,998
You know, the world's worst pen pal?
438
00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:15,791
Okay...
439
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:19,917
Carlos, can you come in here a sec?
440
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:25,764
Locust, boils, darkness... Hernandez!
441
00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:28,968
Hey! We're just talking about you.
442
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:33,270
Carlos, Gabe has volunteered to
teach the kids we've counseled out.
443
00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:36,080
Marisol Fuentes is my best student.
444
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,700
Her attendance is unacceptable.
445
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:41,489
She works. She has a real
job. You should try it!
446
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,572
We're just putting every student
in a position to succeed.
447
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,990
Look, so many people have turned
their backs on these kids,
448
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,696
and I don't want to be
one of those people.
449
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,616
We're not turning our backs on them.
450
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,424
It's turning our faces
to the good students.
451
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,285
Look, Hernandez may think that
these kids are invisible,
452
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,417
but I see them. All of them.
453
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,761
It's done.
454
00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:02,860
Hold on, Carlos.
455
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:04,221
Yeah, hold on, Carlos.
456
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,430
"Invisible," you say, Gabe?
457
00:23:08,770 --> 00:23:09,810
Did I?
458
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,050
You know...
459
00:23:11,510 --> 00:23:13,120
a woman gets to a certain age,
460
00:23:13,140 --> 00:23:15,130
and she sure knows what that feels like.
461
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:18,436
People of color know
what that feels like.
462
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,232
- Preach, sister.
- Shut up, Carlos.
463
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,034
You know, it's the damnedest thing.
464
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,815
I got a message on my dating
app a little while ago
465
00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:31,327
from this fine-looking,
young Denzel-type
466
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,285
who wants to buy me an appletini.
467
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:36,544
Denzel? Is that even your type?
468
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,964
I'm alive, aren't I? Mm...
469
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:45,013
He even quoted Invisible Man.
That's my favorite novel.
470
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,220
You know, I've been meaning to read it.
471
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:52,925
"I am invisible simply because
people refuse to see me."
472
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,273
Wow, sounds like a real catch.
473
00:23:56,810 --> 00:24:01,150
And then, you come in here, and you
refer to these kids as invisible.
474
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,105
That's quite a coincidence.
475
00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:04,943
Or maybe it's a sign.
476
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:09,071
You know, if we don't see these
kids now, no one ever will.
477
00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:13,115
All right, Gabriel.
478
00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:15,115
You got this summer to turn 'em around.
479
00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:19,365
Grades, discipline, attendance.
No screw-ups.
480
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:22,459
So, Gabe has to waste his
summer teaching the drip tray,
481
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,264
and then I get to kick them
out. I can live with that.
482
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,508
Well, you live with yourself.
483
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,298
You can live with anything.
484
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:37,846
We can't save them all, Gabe.
485
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:40,653
I know, but who are we
if we don't even try?
486
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:43,438
Ooh!
487
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:45,525
He is fine!
488
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:50,493
Wait a second, this is Denzel.
489
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,124
This is a picture from
The Pelican Brief.
490
00:24:54,201 --> 00:24:58,041
Somebody photoshopped a cowboy
hat on his damn head. Gabe!
491
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,589
Okay.
492
00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:06,629
Some of you are here because
of your poor grades,
493
00:25:06,740 --> 00:25:07,820
poor attendance,
494
00:25:08,131 --> 00:25:10,681
disciplinary reasons,
or all of the above.
495
00:25:11,092 --> 00:25:13,392
Messed around and got a triple-double.
496
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:20,437
Yup. I gotta say, it was a good day.
497
00:25:20,977 --> 00:25:24,227
All right, so I got some good
news, and I have some bad news.
498
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:27,574
The good news is no one
is getting counseled out.
499
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:28,861
Yes!
500
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:31,614
Yeah, the bad news is... we're
gonna have to do summer school.
501
00:25:33,281 --> 00:25:35,241
Wait, those are both bad things!
502
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:41,405
I don't know, now I've got
something to do this summer.
503
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:45,130
Yeah, I got something to do this
summer too, and it's not school.
504
00:25:46,169 --> 00:25:49,209
"Yay, Mr. Iglesias saved the day!
505
00:25:50,757 --> 00:25:53,007
We love him and his hat!"
506
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,847
What about your trip?
507
00:25:58,014 --> 00:25:59,014
Eh...
508
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:02,228
Who wants to roll around
in a cool Volkswagen bus,
509
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:05,360
listening to '90s jams and
going to wrestling events?
510
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,160
I'm gonna guess you?
511
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,580
Yeah.
512
00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:11,069
Yeah.
513
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:13,203
Maybe I didn't think this through.
514
00:26:15,949 --> 00:26:18,289
Whoo! Rookie of the Year!
515
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,328
That's right.
516
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,082
As it turns out, it's a real award.
517
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,170
It's got your name engraved
on it and everything.
518
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:30,052
- Aw! You guys are the best!
- Mm-hmm.
519
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:33,340
Oh! There's only two Bs in Abby. Heh.
520
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,218
Bro, you had one job.
521
00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:41,765
Ah, thank you. I see you
got my text, Katie.
522
00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:42,780
Your appletini
523
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:45,401
- and your back-up appletini.
- Mm-hmm!
524
00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:48,482
How about you, Gabe? The usual,
ginger ale on the rocks?
525
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,685
Yes, can I also have a
lime in it? I ain't driving.
526
00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:51,775
Ooh!
527
00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,152
Not to pry, Gabe,
528
00:26:54,237 --> 00:26:56,487
but is there a specific
reason you don't drink?
529
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,575
Well, if we're being honest, I kind
of like remembering what I did
530
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:01,239
and who I did it with.
531
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,497
Well, that's why I drink.
532
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:06,122
I like to forget what I did
and who I did it with.
533
00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:08,384
Don't worry.
534
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,415
Eventually, you'll forget it all.
535
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,590
Only the grinding hip pain will remain.
536
00:27:15,258 --> 00:27:16,838
Bone on bone.
537
00:27:18,428 --> 00:27:20,888
Hey. Here's to the future, huh?
538
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:24,392
Whoo!
539
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,516
- Whoo! Bone on bone.
- Mm!
540
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,648
All right, Paula.
541
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:32,401
- Who is the new honors teacher?
- Oh!
542
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:35,950
I'm going to go with...
543
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,199
you, Tony!
544
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,450
Oh, suck a dictionary!
545
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:45,042
You know, somebody better teach
this young gal how to swear,
546
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,211
or she's gonna get laughed
out of Long Beach.
547
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:51,125
I'm sorry, I'm just not
a very good loser.
548
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,711
- No practice.
- Mm-hmm.
549
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:56,625
Abby, you can bring the
kids up to your level.
550
00:27:56,841 --> 00:28:00,551
I'm hoping the honors kids can
bring Tony up to their level.
551
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,140
Well, thank you, Paula.
552
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:06,308
So, what kind of raise are
we talking about here?
553
00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:08,403
I'm not gonna fire you.
554
00:28:09,979 --> 00:28:12,019
- I do it for the kids.
- Mm-hmm!
555
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:15,237
To surviving another school year!
556
00:28:15,318 --> 00:28:16,858
Whoo, yay!
557
00:28:17,278 --> 00:28:22,408
♪ The only one, my everything ♪
♪ And to you, this song I sing ♪
558
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,502
♪ And all my life ♪
559
00:28:25,578 --> 00:28:27,958
♪ I prayed for someone like you ♪
560
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,539
♪ And I hope that you ♪
561
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:34,205
- ♪ Feel the same way too! ♪
- ♪ Love me too! ♪
562
00:28:34,206 --> 00:28:39,200
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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