Original subtitles

As you know, Jane still loved Rafael,

but she was trying to move on, so they could focus

on being good co-parents, which was important

because Mateo was recently diagnosed with ADHD.

And they had to figure out how to best help him.

Medication is a lifelong decision

and he is so young. I just--

Jane, I agree.

We should try other options first.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Not an easy decision.

Speaking of decisions, Jane had decided to move into

her own apartment.

It's time for the next phase in my life.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Also entering the next phase, Petra.

See, J.R. broke up with her and moved to Houston,

but at least Petra got her other ex back.

What will it take for you to come back?

Triple my salary. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yep.

Her old assistant, Krishna.

And I want a lunch hour every day.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: In other great news, Xo found out

she was cancer-free. ROGELIO: Oh.

Thank God. I'm so happy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: He was less happy about this:

Finally. We can be together.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So Rogelio set River straight.

Let me make this perfectly clear, I love my wife.

I don't wanna have sex with you,

I have never wanted to have sex with you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Unfortunately,

hell hath no fury like River Fields scorned.

He loves me not... He will pay.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So let's see what happens next.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 6 years old,

she was in her first musical.

♪ We're gonna dance And sing all night ♪

♪ We love to laugh... ♪

Here comes her solo.

♪ I like to sing 'Cause singing is fun... ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oof. Yeah, turns out, it was also her last.

Because that voice was a deal-breaker.

Today's my first rehearsal for the musical.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, maybe musical talent skips a generation?

I know, it's so exciting. And take it from me, Mateo,

your first school musical is an experience you'll never forget.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And can never un-hear.

I'm gonna be a tree, and I'm in the forest.

My costume needs to be brown and green,

so can you make me a costume that's brown and green?

On it. You are gonna be brown and green from head to toe. Huh?

I also have to learn lines and a dance.

Then we will practice until you got it cold.

And on opening night, I will be in the front row, cheering on

the best tree in Miami.

Now come on, let's see those branches.

[♪♪♪]

[KEYBOARD CLACKS]

Get the rest of your things for school, my little star.

Ooh.

Laundry. Yes.

"Laundry in unit."

[IN SPANISH] What are you doing?

Besides not helping me fold?

You hate the way I fold.

Rafael told me to make a list

of all the things I absolutely need for an apartment.

I'm meeting with him later today

to go over his available listings.

That's nice of him to help you find a place.

Mm. You know how the old saying goes.

First comes love, then almost-marriage,

then platonic friendship,

then he's your real estate agent.

I don't know that saying. [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

And you're folding those all wrong.

JANE: Oh...

[SHOUTS] MATEO: Sorry.

Maybe you should add "wood floors" to your list.

Yes.

Carpet is a deal-breaker. Ugh.

I hope Raf can find me something with all these must-haves.

XIOMARA: I must have biked 20 miles today.

After three weeks of daily spin classes,

I was finally able to get through

every set of jumps again.

I'm so happy for you, Xiomara.

Just don't overdo it. You've hardly sat still.

I'm just soaking up life, now that I can.

Now, me and my heavyweight hamstrings

are gonna take a shower, then lunch with girlfriends

I haven't seen in a while. Sounds great.

Are you okay, babe?

You tossed and turned all night. It's River.

She's driving me crazy. Wha-- I thought you said

she was being really nice lately? Exactly.

It's been weeks since I rejected her,

and she has yet to retaliate.

Maybe that means she's over it?

Xiomara, my-my sweet, naive wife.

Of course she's not over it.

She is biding her time, plotting her revenge.

Is there any chance you're being paranoid?

Not at all. Just ask Rudy.

Cupcake?

Why, thank you.

Taste this, see if it's poisoned.

Rudy was sick for a week.

Doesn't he have a gluten allergy?

So he says. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: He does.

Rogelio, I obviously don't like River.

But I don't think she's poisoning you for rejecting her.

Well, then, you're playing right into her unusually large hands.

You have a tendency to get carried away.

Oh, do I? Do I?

Maybe that's a quality you should mention

when you give my eulogy right after River poisons me to death.

I'm taking a shower.

Try to relax.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: He looks relaxed.

KIDS: ♪ Everything needs love To grow ♪

♪ It's love, love, love ♪

♪ The world Is love, love... ♪

EVERETTE: Okay, hold up one second. Mateo,

you are a tree, you are not a rock.

Would you please stand up and join the rest of the forest?

Okay, from the top. Five, six, seven, eight.

[IMITATES FARTING]

[CLASSMATES LAUGHING] And we're singing.

Let me hear my trees! I'm not a tree,

I'm a helicopter.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

CLASSMATE: You killed the trees.

Mateo ruins everything.

PETRA: He made a complete mess of everything.

All the temps were bad, but the last one took the cake.

Literally. I had a birthday cake on my desk, and he took it.

That does seem gratuitous. Anyway, here.

I need you to take care of this list.

Are you forgetting something?

Please.

I don't do dry cleaning anymore.

Fine. I'll take that off the list.

But can you get started, um, on the other things?

Please?

Happy to.

Also, I have something to tell you.

It's bad news.

But before I tell you,

remember what we discussed.

I am just the messenger.

Yes, of course. Whatever it is, I will remember my manners,

and I won't take it out on you.

Milos called. He wants to sell the hotel.

[SHOUTS] What?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Sorry.

Can you elaborate?

He said he owns two-thirds of the hotel

and can sell at any time without your approval.

Well, that's ridiculous.

I need you to schedule a visitation at the prison.

Already done.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Thank you.

You're welcome. I'll get started on that list.

Here's the list. All my must-haves for the apartment.

And, if you look on the back,

you'll find a list of all the deal-breakers.

Which, judging by your face,

is possibly a bit extensive. I can revise it.

No, no, it's-- It's not that.

The list-- It's a good list.

So what's wrong?

[SIGHS]

Mateo got kicked out of the musical

for disrupting rehearsal.

Kicked out? What did he do? What didn't he do?

He's lying down, he's getting up, he's screaming. [SIGHS]

He's really struggling, Jane. I saw him.

I think we should consider medication.

We have been trying and trying, and holistic isn't helping.

And it's starting to affect things in a big way.

We said we'd give it another month.

I don't need another month to see it's not working.

We can't put him on meds because of one day.

It's not one bad day. There's a pattern here.

We're getting ahead of ourselves.

Jane... Medication is a serious decision.

I know it's serious. There can be side effects.

Which we'll monitor, but it could also be good for him.

Can we please just give it a little more time?

I'll talk to his teacher, get him back in the play.

Uh, we can reevaluate in a couple weeks? Please?

All right.

[EXHALES]

He was so excited about the play.

Ugh, I know. I was too.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY] [EXHALES]

Mm...

Ah, I just hate to see him struggle.

I know.

JULIE: Am I interrupting?

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLES] Hey.

Um, uh...

Jane, this is Julie. Julie,

this is Jane.

Oh, Jane. Hi, I've heard a lot about you.

Oh? Uh, do you work in the office?

Wha-- No.

Rafa and I are dating.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Rafa?

I just came by because

I thought I'd surprise you for lunch.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She surprised someone.

Perfect timing. I was just leaving.

You two enjoy your lunch date. Heh.

[♪♪♪]

[EXHALES]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: We last left Jane upset

that her real estate agent is seeing someone.

You have time for a single ladies chat?

If you stop calling it that.

[LAUGHING MOAN]

I met the new girl that Raf is seeing.

But he didn't warn me that he was dating someone specific,

so I was just really thrown off.

I'm sure it's nothing serious.

He hasn't mentioned anyone to me. Yeah?

Okay, good. Heh.

Well, if you meet Julie-- Oh, Julie?

I've heard about Julie. What?

I assumed she was a coworker.

Well, so then, it must be serious.

Is she pretty? So pretty.

Let me see. [GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, yeah, wow.

No, don't click on her Instagram story.

She'll see you watched it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Been there done that. Awkward.

I knew Rafael would start dating someone eventually,

but it's just hard to be around.

Oh, you're lucky you live so far away

from J.R. so you're spared this torture.

You think J.R.'s seeing someone else already?

I mean, she's a beautiful single woman who moved to a new city.

She's probably gotten asked out by now.

What are you doing? Checking her Instagram.

[MOANS]

Oh, my God. She made it private. Ugh...

Oh, my God, she's seeing someone else,

and doesn't want me to know.

Who's that woman in her new profile picture with her?

[GRUNTS] It's the 21st century.

Why haven't we figured out how to zoom in on a thumbnail?

Okay, phone time is over.

I can't handle this.

Maybe we should go out tonight.

Meet people, see what's out there?

That sounds terrible. It really does.

I am not a big fan of wearing pants after 9 p.m.

[SIGHS] Well, thanks for listening.

I feel better having talked it out. I feel worse.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I feel about the same.

Oh, and now you're leaving. Perfect.

I am sorry, I have to talk to Mateo's teacher.

Hopefully, Raf isn't dating her too.

I spoke to Mateo, and he fully understands

what he did wrong and he's really sorry.

He just wants to get back in the play.

Is there anything we can do?

I'm happy to rebuild the sets myself.

I know I don't look it,

but I know my way around a power drill.

I'm not worried about the set.

When all the kids were learning the dance number,

Mateo...was being very disruptive.

And he was distracting the other kids.

I know, but he was probably only acting that way

because the kids were distracting him

because of his ADHD. Which isn't an excuse.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Sounds like one.

It's just an explanation.

He has learned dance routines before, but one-on-one,

so what if I learn the songs and choreography?

Then I can teach Mateo at the house,

on our own time.

I don't know. Please, this means

so much to him. You should have seen his face

when he told me he was in the play.

And-and I don't want him to feel rejected or left out.

And I promise you, he can do this.

JANE: You can do it.

Okay, you step and step

and-- Oh. Use your right foot.

Well, the other right. And don't forget,

you have to sing the song too.

This is worse than homework.

Mateo. I don't wanna learn

everything by myself at home,

I wanna learn with my friends.

We talked about this. This is the new plan.

So let's go.

Try it again, come on.

[OFF-KEY] ♪ Everything needs ♪

♪ Love to grow... ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Try again. Maybe Auto-Tune.

[OFF-KEY] ♪ Love to grow ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I don't think that's the note, either.

Why do I have to sing anyway?

It doesn't make any sense that trees sing.

Well, in musicals, anyone and anything can sing.

In fact, they must. Why?

Because sometimes,

when you're so full of emotion

you feel like you might burst,

you just have to let it out and--

♪ Sing! ♪ [GIGGLES]

Exactly. So, Mateo, let's remember:

you're the happiest tree in the forest,

and you just have to sing and dance about it.

Okay? Maybe later.

Could we take a break?

Fine, but only five minutes.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yikes. Okay, Mama Rose.

Thanks for letting us rehearse.

Jorge's BarcaLounger doesn't leave much room

for dancing in the living room. Of course.

And hey, if you're getting tired,

I'd be happy to teach Mateo the dance.

I mean, we did nail our Grandparents' Day routine.

People are still talking about it.

[CHUCKLES] Are you sure?

Yes. I'm cancer-free, remember?

Totally up for it.

So? Should I teach him?

That would be amazing.

[SQUEALS] Done and done. [CHUCKLES]

Mateo, do you know

what the most important thing about performing is?

Glitter? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes!

No. It's singing with feeling.

When you're on stage, you're not just singing words.

You're singing what you're feeling.

Whether you're happy,

or sad...

♪ Can't believe I see you here ♪

♪ After so long, my love ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or creepy.

What the hell are you doing?

I am in prison choir.

Turns out, I am a gifted baritone.

What's this about?

I know you don't want to sell the hotel.

My trial is coming up.

Right now, things are not looking so good for poor me.

Of course,

if you told truth at trial--

That break-in was accident.

--maybe I wouldn't want to sell hotel.

I am going to tell the truth.

It was no accident,

and you are a psychotic and dangerous criminal

who should never see the light of day again.

Then I have no choice but to sell beautiful hotel.

You'll never sell the Marbella.

It's your last link to me, and we both know I'm all you have.

Watch me. LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ugh.

This guy really does creep me out.

Let's go back to cute kids singing.

♪ Everything needs Love to grow ♪

♪ It's love, love ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah. That's better.

Yes, that's it, Mateo!

Whoo-hoo. Right!

Now let's work on that grapevine.

Big smile.

Ready? And...

a five, six, seven, eight. Right...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oy. Now Jane's being creepy.

Now I gotta go pee. Okay, let's take five.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

What are you doing?

[SCOFFS] Admiring your app organization.

Stalking Raf's new girlfriend. Why on my phone?

So she doesn't see that I'm creeping on her Instagram story.

MATEO: Abuela, there's no toilet paper!

[EXHALES]

[♪♪♪]

[KOALA GRUNTING]

[SCOFFS] [PHONE BUTTONS BEEP]

[PHONE RINGING] Xo?

No, it's me. I hate Julie.

Raf's Julie? Can we not call her that?

What happened?

She posted a gif aimed at me.

She called me a stage 5 clinger.

Honestly, what is she, 13?

Maybe I should say something to Raf

and warn him-- Jane, no!

You and Raf are in a good place now.

Shut up and be supportive.

If you act crazy, you just prove Julie right,

that you're a clingy koala bear.

Wait, how do you know what it looks like?

[LAUGHS] I'm looking at it now. [GRUNTING]

It's funny. I think this shows

Julie has a sense of humor. Petra, focus.

You're supposed to be talking me down.

Okay, right. Look.

I know it's hard, okay?

But you just-- You gotta be cool about it.

Be the bigger person.

[EXHALES]

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. You're right.

[KOALA GRUNTING]

Are you watching it again?

[LAUGHING] It's so funny.

ROGELIO: It's so sad.

I know. The scientists failed,

and all of the trees have died.

We only have 72 more hours of breathable oxygen

before all known life-forms on Mars go extinct.

[LIGHT SHATTERS] [SCREAMS]

WOMAN: Cut!

What the hell? Oh, my God.

That could have killed you.

Yes, it could have.

That'd be horrible.

I'd have to get a new costar.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Perfume, chocolates?

Rogelio, what did you do?

Why are you apologizing to me?

No, it's actually for River.

Do you think she'll like it?

I don't know, did you include her favorite lube?

Should I?

Rogelio, this basket is gonna give her the wrong idea.

Do you want her trying to kiss you again?

It's better than her trying to kill me.

A light fell five inches from my head.

She said it was an accident. Maybe it was,

maybe it wasn't.

The point is, this is my passion project.

It should be the happiest time of my life.

But instead, I'm fearing for my life,

I'm a wreck, I'm...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: A basket case?

Please try to understand. I do,

a-and I want things to improve between you and River,

but I don't wanna worry about her trying to kiss you.

What am I supposed to do?

I can't live like this.

JANE: I can't live there.

To be fair, cockroaches were not

a part of your deal-breaker list.

I feel like it was implied.

A-and to be clear, no rats.

Well, I have one more place for you to see.

Hopefully, there will be no cockroaches or rats

or carpeting or wood paneling...

Sounds promising. Should we go now?

Oh, it's not available to see till later today.

I will text you the address

and meet you...around 4? Perfect. See you then.

And bring the list. Ha, ha! I have the list.

Jane.

Fancy...

seeing you here. Again.

Yeah, I-I don't usually hang around

Rafael's office like this.

He's helping me find an apartment.

Which is harder than I thought, heh.

There's more wood paneling in Miami than you know.

Heh. Well, good luck. Thanks.

A-actually...

I have to ask.

Is there something I should know

about you and Rafael?

What do you mean?

Well, I kind of got a vibe

from you guys the other day.

Plus, you seem to be around a lot.

And...your mom was watching my Instagram stories.

Oh, yeah, my mom is so weird.

I'll talk to her.

Come on. I think Rafa's great,

but if there's still something between the two of you,

I-I don't want to...

waste my time, I don't need drama.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Come on, Jane.

Remember what Petra said. Be the bigger person.

You have nothing to worry about.

We're just co-parents.

And for what it's worth,

I can tell Raf likes you.

Really? Oh, yeah. For sure.

He talks about you a lot.

Thank you for saying that. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

[BUTTONS CLACKING]

Ms. Solano?

We have a problem.

May I help you?

[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] We're investors.

Here to look at potential investment.

Will you show us hotel?

No. The hotel is not for sale.

Milos says it is.

He's two-thirds owner.

We look around now.

It's perfect.

Lots of light and charm,

big kitchen, not a deal-breaker in sight.

Once I lose the beads and the macramé. And the--

[SNIFFS] hippie smell. [PHONE WHOOSHES]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That's weed. Lots and lots of weed.

What's wrong? Did you say something to Julie?

Okay, I honestly didn't mean to...

But you did. You meddled in my personal business.

I wouldn't characterize it as meddling.

We ran into each other, and she asked about us,

so I clarified that we are strictly co-parents

and that you really like her. Well, I don't.

[GASPS] Oh.

[LAUGHS] Oh, no.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I was just hoping it would fizzle out on its own

and I could let her down easy,

but now she thinks I'm super into her.

I am so sorry. Can I fix this?

Oh, I think you've done enough.

Good point.

How about this apartment, though, huh?

Let me give you the tour.

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH GIGGLING]

Oh, I love it.

I can really imagine living here.

So should I, uh...

tell the office to pull it off the market?

Yes.

Thanks, Raf.

[SIGHING] Oh.

[♪♪♪]

Well, at-- At least we know it's...secure.

[PHONE WHOOSHES]

It's the office.

They don't have an extra key,

and they can't reach the tenants.

We have no idea when they're coming back?

No, but people check their phones constantly.

These people?

Mm. Ugh, I just hope

they come back soon. I'm starving.

I was gonna eat after we saw the place.

Have a look in the fridge.

If we eat anything, we'll take it out of my commission.

[CHUCKLES]

Clearly vegan. Heh.

Who grow their own sprouts. Incredible.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You mean "inedible."

What is a mung bean seedling?

No idea, but there is way too much stuff growing on that.

What about this? What's this?

Oh. Cashew string cheese.

Good choice. Cheese adjacent.

Hmm. How bad can that be?

Mmm. What do you think?

I think it's an insult to cheese.

And string.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[♪♪♪]

[PHONE CHIMES] Oh.

My mom sent a video of Mateo's rehearsal.

♪ Everything needs Love to grow ♪

♪ It's love, love, love... ♪

Oh, he's actually doing it.

♪ Love, love, love, love... ♪

I am so glad that you got him back into the play.

Mm-hmm.

♪ Love, love, love... ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ You're in love ♪

Uh, so...

Julie seems great. What's the problem?

Well, for one, she uses too many emojis.

Come on. That's a little harsh.

Oh, wow. What is that?

I believe that is a fish cake.

Well, plenty of fish cakes in the sea, right?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm not even sure what I'm looking for, to be honest.

I guess it was just...

good to get back out there and test the waters.

[♪♪♪]

You know, my real estate agent recently suggested

making a list of qualities you like.

To help narrow down your search.

You have something better to do?

I have got much better things to do.

I'm not gonna stand here all day waiting for my costar.

Has anyone seen Rogelio?

[♪♪♪]

[WOMAN GASPS]

Who the hell is that?

My bodyguard.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Where did he find this guy, a Tolkien novel?

Everyone, this is Laird.

A bodyguard. What for?

In order to do my best work,

I need to feel safe in my environment.

Laird is here for my protection. Protection? From what?

I don't know. Lights mysteriously falling

from the ceiling?

A grip lost his grip. It happens.

Next time, it'll happen to Laird.

[RUDY & ROGELIO YELP]

I have your latte, Mr. de la Vega.

I will accept the latte. Let him through.

But keep an eye on her.

Let's shoot!

[RIVER CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY]

Hi. I'm River.

Ooh. Hee-hee-hee!

Look how teeny my hand is in yours. Heh, heh!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'd say he's definitely keeping an eye on her...

JANE: Okay. Come on, let's see this list.

Organized, good sense of humor, smart, loves kids...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh, is he describing Jane?

...athletic, non-judgmental, goes with the flow...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Guess not.

Wow. I feel attacked.

Look, I didn't mean it like that.

I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

Seriously, these are great qualities.

And for what it's worth, I...

actually think Julie has a lot of them.

So...

maybe you give her another chance.

Yeah.

Maybe.

[♪♪♪]

[KEYS JANGLING] Ah. Help has arrived, heh.

Ready to escape the patchouli prison?

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS] [PHONE BEEPS]

Let's go out tonight.

What? What happened?

I'm not just a big person,

I'm, like, a huge person.

I'm, like, André the Giant over here.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or Laird.

Okay, you lost me.

I just spent two hours helping Raf make a list

so he can find the perfect woman,

and I basically just begged him

to give Julie a second chance.

Wow. André, got it.

N-- The point is, Raf is gonna meet someone,

and even if Julie is just a dry run,

he is going to fall in love again.

And I want him to be happy. I really do.

I think I'll be more prepared

for that if I'm happy first.

Or at least at the same time.

Which is why we're going out,

to dip our toes in the water.

I'm sorry, but I told you,

I'm not ready. Remember the picture

of J.R. and the other woman?

You wanna wait around

until that thumbnail

becomes a Facebook profile pic?

God, you're ruthless. I respect that.

Okay, fine. Let's go.

Yes! Put on your party panties, I'm on my way!

[EXHALES]

Look at us. Two single ladies out on the town. Whoo!

Whoo. Hey, we agreed

to dip our toe in the water,

so take out a toe and dip it.

Can we stop with the toe metaphor?

It's more unappealing than the whiskey stench here.

Okay, come on... Guys or girls?

I don't know. Guess the world's my oyster.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or sausage!

What about those guys on the left?

Oh, yeah. Well, they're not

unattractive. That's the spirit.

Here we go, dipping our toes... Oh.

Nope. Sorry, forgot.

Well, let's give them some "come hither" looks,

see what happens, hmm? All right.

Oh, wow, that was easy.

We still got it! BRETT: Hi, there.

I'm Brett. This is Nick. Hi, Brett and Nick.

Do you have names? That depends.

You buying us drinks?

Hey, let me get four tequila shots.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Is it just me, or are Brett and Nick too young for facial hair?

So, uh, how old are you guys?

Guess. PETRA: Ha!

Pass. How old?

Strict. I like it.

Well, I'm 22 and a half. 21 and three-quarters.

[JANE & PETRA LAUGH] What?

She's got socks older than you guys.

Oh, don't worry. We're really mature.

Wow. That is great to know.

So do you like kids?

Because we'd love for you to meet our children.

What?

Yeah! Between us, we've got three little rug rats.

You wanna see pictures? [GASPS] Ooh!

Shoot, uh, you know, I just realized, we gotta get going.

Yeah, we gotta get up early.

Finals week. Oh.

Yeah.

[LAUGHS] Well, that went well.

Come on. They were the first people we talked to.

It'll get better.

Now, mmm, let's do these shots.

Mmm... Mm?

Bodyguard?

[HAMMERING]

[♪♪♪]

Uh, excuse me, crew people. Have you seen my bodyguard?

[QUIETLY] Okay.

LAIRD: Oh, really?

[LAIRD CHUCKLES]

[GASPS]

Ah, you temptress!

You stole my bodyguard to punish me,

you wicked, conniving snake of a...

Oh, Rogelio, stop!

This has nothing to do with you.

Laird and I began talking

during break, and, well, we just...hit it off.

[CHUCKLES] Turns out we both love cooking.

And Tibetan beading, and Ayurvedic massage.

Oh, come on!

It's obvious you've been

plotting against me for weeks now.

And clearly this is

part of your master plan. What's next?

Have Laird drown me in Lake Brenda?

[LAUGHS] There's no "next," Rogelio.

I've been getting my revenge for weeks.

Watching you go crazy, anxiously waiting for me

to do something evil.

Oh, it worked like a charm.

You're not sleeping, you got bags under your eyes,

and your worry wrinkles are worse than ever.

I knew that if I just behaved like the professional I am,

you would drive yourself crazy.

[CHUCKLES] And you have.

Look.

I'm not the kind of woman

who's used to getting rejected.

Watching you

torture yourself these past few weeks

has been delightful. Heh, heh!

But I'm ready to call it even. Okay?

Okay.

But you're so fired, Laird.

You were so right.

Asking Darci to send us a man for River was genius.

She's done with me.

Hey, it's Darci's algorithm, not mine.

And now that River has someone else to obsess over,

she'll be out of our hair.

And hopefully, mine will start growing back.

I noticed a few bald spots from all the stress.

I'm sure it will. Well, the point is,

that joy will return to my job.

Mm.

So how about you?

Did, uh, teaching Mateo give you the bug

to get back to teaching?

Maybe. Just weighing my options.

Right. Soaking up life.

Like you said. [QUIETLY] Mm-hmm.

JANE: I'm just not feeling it.

What about that guy?

A "Hands Off My Gun" hat? Do you know me? Deal-breaker.

Okay. My turn. What about her?

That woman hasn't taken her eye

off you all night. [PHONE CHIMES]

[♪♪♪]

Everything okay?

[SIGHS] My lawyers can't stop Milos from selling the hotel.

Well, you've found ways around

that kind of thing before, right?

Yes, but that would involve lying,

and I can't do that anymore because...

Because...?

Because J.R. changed me.

Made me want to be a freakin' good person

who deserves her, and now--

Oh, God, what happened to me?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, honestly,

I think you were always a good person.

It just took J.R. to finally bring it out of you.

And you will meet someone else.

That I love as much as I love her? Yeah.

I really believe that.

Well, I think you will too.

I hope so.

Well, if I will, you will, trust me.

You're way more likable.

[LAUGHS]

Bright side, we're in this together, right?

Yeah. And I'm so glad.

WOMAN: Excuse me.

Can I buy you a drink?

Can't you see we're talking?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, that was rude.

[♪♪♪]

Krishna. You're just leaving now?

I literally always leave at this hour.

Of course you do.

Because you're such a good assistant.

[SIGHS] The way you're always anticipating my needs,

and leaving me little reminders on your little Post-its,

with your perfect little handwriting.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

You're going the wrong way. I'll walk you, Ms. Solano.

Thank you, Ms. Krishna. Ha, ha!

Oh, and listen.

I've officially decided not to perjure myself.

Milos can rot in prison till he dies.

Which means I may lose the hotel,

but wherever I end up, don't you worry,

you'll be with me. Oh!

Ah. It's bedtime.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And now, it's showtime.

Thanks again for making this happen, Mom.

Of course. He's a natural once you get him going.

You gave Julie a second chance?

I took your advice. Thank you.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ The Earth loves the Sun ♪

♪ The Sun loves the trees ♪

♪ The trees love the leaves ♪

♪ And the leaves love The breeze ♪

♪ The breeze loves the flowers ♪

♪ The flowers love to bloom ♪

♪ We all get to sing... ♪

He's crushing it.

♪ There's one thing That we all know ♪

♪ Everything needs love To grow ♪

♪ It's love, love, love ♪

♪ The world is love Love, love... ♪

[BABY CRYING]

[BABY CRYING LOUDLY]

♪ Love... ♪

Stop it!

Stop crying!

Stop it! Stop it now!

Stop it! [CRYING ECHOING]

Stop!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] [CRYING CONTINUES]

Everybody was staring at me.

It's all because of that stupid baby.

It's okay, Mateo. No one is mad at you.

But it's his fault.

It's no one's fault.

I wanted to do the play good.

I don't want to be this way anymore.

Hey, come here.

[♪♪♪]

He's asleep.

This is my fault.

I made everything worse by pushing him to do the play.

I should have listened to you.

The situation isn't getting any better,

and denying it doesn't change that.

And now it's starting to hurt our son.

And, uh...

I think it's time to put him on medication.

[SIGHS] Me too.

And it's not your fault.

We both had to be comfortable.

Now we are.

You're...

...nice.

Thanks.

Of course.

We're a team.

And I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

And...call Julie.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Julie, it's me.

Mateo will be all right,

and Jane and Rafael will figure it all out.

I know.

Then, uh, what's wrong?

You were sad all the way home.

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

No, you're not.

I just feel like I'm flailing.

I survived the cancer,

but I'm just as lost now as I was before I got sick.

[CRYING] And I feel silly and ungrateful.

[LAUGHS] Everything should be joyful now.

Everything doesn't have to feel joyful.

It should.

I survived the worst.

I should be happy and fulfilled.

All the time?

In general.

And you're not?

No.

I've been trying so hard to fill the time with

working out, and dancing with Mateo,

even scheming with you,

but none of the distractions are helping.

Well, that's because you don't need a distraction.

You need a passion, something you love,

like I love telenovelas.

But I don't even know what that is.

You'll figure it out.

The important thing is you have time.

And you don't have to be grateful for everything.

Just that.

And you.

Thank you for coming.

Petra wants me to tell you that

you can rot in here.

She won't perjure herself.

But I will.

She'll never suspect that we're working together.

Not after you framed me.

Trust me,

I want to bring her down as much as you do.

Okay, I did it. I made a dating profile.

[GASPS] So did I.

JaneV333.

[GASPS] Single ladies!

[BOTH LAUGH]

You and me, in it together. In it to win it.

[SINGSONGY] Eh, eh. Yes!

[PHONE CHIMES] Oh.

Ooh, maybe that's your first match.

No, it's just Rafael.

Oh, I hope the apartment didn't fall through.

Hey.

I got your text. Everything okay?

I don't know.

Maybe it was what you said.

How denying it doesn't change it.

What is it?

I was getting the papers ready, but don't rent the apartment.

What? Why?

Because I realized that there was one deal-breaker

with Julie that I couldn't get past.

It's...

It's love.

She's not you, Jane.

I love you.

I've tried to stop, but I can't.

And I don't want to anymore.

[♪♪♪]

Petra's gonna be so mad at me, hee, hee.

Well, let's talk about that later, okay?

Yeah.

I just feel...

Oh, I feel...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Like you have so much emotion

that you might burst? Me too!

TREES: ♪ There's one thing ♪

♪ That we all know ♪

♪ Everything needs love To grow ♪

♪ Love, love, love, love ♪

♪ I've always known that We were meant to be ♪

♪ You're my Sun and Moon My sky and my sea ♪

♪ Mommy and Daddy Just needed a chance ♪

♪ And I didn't have to Teach anyone this dance ♪

♪ Well, I am Team Raf ♪

♪ And my team won ♪

♪ Well, I just lost My wing-woman ♪

♪ Love is blind, love is pure Love is quite a maze ♪

♪ Okay, but really ♪

♪ I've been sick for days ♪

ALL: ♪ It's love, love, love ♪

♪ I knew there was a vibe ♪

ALL: ♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ I can't believe I'm still alive ♪

ALL: ♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ I think I might be Dead inside ♪

ALL: ♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ Enough of These characters ♪

♪ They're all on the side ♪

♪ Jane and Raf They're back together ♪

♪ I'm smiling oh, so wide ♪

And now for my dance solo. Dad!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, Rogelio.

ALL: ♪ It's love, love, love ♪

♪ The world is Love, love, love ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ Everything's love Love, love ♪

♪ It's love, love, love ♪

♪ The world is love Love, love ♪

♪ Everything's love Love, love ♪

♪ It's love, love ♪

♪ Love ♪

[♪♪♪]

[KEYBOARD CLACKS]

[♪♪♪]