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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,322 --> 00:00:03,138 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:03,139 --> 00:00:06,074 ["FANTASMIC: Opening" by Bruce Healey] 3 00:00:22,025 --> 00:00:24,893 [soft mystical music] [ice clinks] 4 00:00:27,097 --> 00:00:29,898 [burps softly] Excuse me. 5 00:00:29,933 --> 00:00:31,599 Hello, I'm Doug Jones, and today, 6 00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:34,202 we're gonna talk about Lawnchair Larry. 7 00:00:34,237 --> 00:00:36,371 - Cheers. - Cheers. 8 00:00:36,406 --> 00:00:39,374 Our story begins in 1962. 9 00:00:39,409 --> 00:00:41,809 A 13-year-old boy named Larry Walters 10 00:00:41,844 --> 00:00:44,345 walks into an Army Navy Surplus store. 11 00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:46,247 And amongst the Swiss army knives 12 00:00:46,283 --> 00:00:47,748 and the heavy duty flashlights, 13 00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:50,684 he sees right before him a weather balloon. 14 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,922 Suddenly, inspiration hits him like a bolt of lightning. 15 00:00:53,957 --> 00:00:55,556 He says, oh, my God. 16 00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:59,027 If I had enough of these balloons, I could fly. 17 00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:00,928 He graduates from high school 18 00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:03,330 and enlists in the U.S. Air Force, 19 00:01:03,365 --> 00:01:07,034 but due to his poor eyesight, he's rejected, 20 00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:10,471 and this devastates him, but he says, you know what? 21 00:01:10,506 --> 00:01:12,372 I'm not gonna let this stop me. 22 00:01:12,408 --> 00:01:14,442 Fast forward to 1982. 23 00:01:14,477 --> 00:01:17,745 Larry is now a 33-year-old truck driver, 24 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,246 and he still hasn't been able 25 00:01:19,281 --> 00:01:21,682 to get this idea of flying out of his head. 26 00:01:21,717 --> 00:01:24,952 Larry's driving his truck. He hears an airplane. 27 00:01:24,987 --> 00:01:27,588 He looks up and he's like, son of a bitch. 28 00:01:27,623 --> 00:01:30,390 That's gonna be me someday. [rousing music] 29 00:01:30,426 --> 00:01:32,359 Out of my way, asshole. 30 00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,562 [imitates truck horn honking] 31 00:01:34,597 --> 00:01:37,865 [muffled snickering] 32 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,701 Let it out. 33 00:01:40,736 --> 00:01:42,802 So he brings his girlfriend, Carol, 34 00:01:42,838 --> 00:01:45,738 into the very same Army Navy Surplus store 35 00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:47,139 he went to as a kid. 36 00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,175 He says, I'm gonna buy a bunch of these balloons. 37 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,077 I'm gonna tie them to a lawn chair 38 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,378 and then I'm gonna fly. 39 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,113 She says, you can't do that. 40 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,816 That's way too dange... [burps] 41 00:01:56,852 --> 00:01:58,852 Excuse me. 42 00:01:58,887 --> 00:02:00,453 That's way too dangerous. 43 00:02:00,489 --> 00:02:03,022 He says, no, no, no, no, no. I know what I'm doing. 44 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,358 And Carol says, wow, okay, I'm in, 45 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,693 takes out her credit card, 46 00:02:06,728 --> 00:02:10,096 and spends over $4,000 on weather balloons, 47 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,164 a lawn chair, helium tanks, 48 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,434 CB radio set, a BB pellet gun. 49 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,637 So, Larry lays out the plan. 50 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:19,606 He says, okay, I'm gonna take off 51 00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:22,074 from your ho... backyard in San Pedro. 52 00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:25,110 I'm gonna fly over to San Gabriel Mountains. 53 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,313 When I reach an altitude of approximately 7,000 feet, 54 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:31,884 I'm gonna use the BB pistol to shoot off that balloons, 55 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,486 and then I'll gradually begin my safe descent 56 00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,021 into the Mojave Desert. 57 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,823 Now, here's the important part. 58 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,926 Right before I take off, you're gonna notify the FAA 59 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,694 so that I don't get hit by a plane. 60 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,597 I really don't wanna get hit by a plane. 61 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,333 I spilled on my nuts. [snorts] 62 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,169 So, uh... 63 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,573 _ 64 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,041 Larry establishes his ground crew, 65 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,777 which consists of his girlfriend, Carol, 66 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,512 and his buddy, Ron. 67 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,313 He's like, hey, what's up? I'm Ron. 68 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,550 They take 42 weather balloons and fill them with helium, 69 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,420 tie it to Al... aluminum lawn chair, 70 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:12,790 tie that to two dozen jugs of water for ballast. 71 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:15,160 Larry christens his contraption, 72 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,627 Inspiration I. 73 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,030 And he's like, okay, it's go time. 74 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,499 Let's rock and roll. They cut the first tether. 75 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,768 Suddenly, Carol's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 76 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,171 Wait a minute. Larry, this is a big mistake. 77 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,506 Larry turns to Carol and says, baby... 78 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,007 [drum roll] 79 00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,449 I'm sorry, but a man can't just sit around. 80 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,083 - [chuckles] - Right then and there, 81 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,717 a gust of wind comes along 82 00:03:40,752 --> 00:03:43,220 and the second tether snaps in half, 83 00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:45,155 and Larry shoots off into the sky 84 00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,591 at a thousand feet per minute. 85 00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:49,759 Lar... uh, Carol freaks out. 86 00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:51,761 Larry is, uh, up in the sky, 87 00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:53,564 and he's like, oh, my God. 88 00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:56,233 My greatest wish has come true. 89 00:03:56,268 --> 00:03:59,636 Ron turns to Carol and says, my God, Carol. 90 00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:02,739 We forgot to notify the FAA. 91 00:04:02,774 --> 00:04:06,143 Oh, my God. I'm so drunk. So, uh... 92 00:04:06,178 --> 00:04:08,145 Larry gets on a CB radio 93 00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,346 and he's like... [imitates radio static] 94 00:04:09,381 --> 00:04:12,416 Okay, I'm at 500 feet. 95 00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:14,985 I am now entering federal airspace... 96 00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:18,155 [imitates radio static] I am at 1,450 feet... 97 00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:20,490 higher than the Sears Tower... [imitates radio static] 98 00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:23,727 I am now at 6,500 feet. 99 00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,161 I'm above the clouds. 100 00:04:25,196 --> 00:04:27,831 At that very moment, two commercial airplane pi... 101 00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:29,165 [burps] flying by. 102 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,067 He's like, did you see the game last night? 103 00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:34,137 That Fernando Valenzuela has one hell of an arm... 104 00:04:34,172 --> 00:04:36,740 [hearty laugh] That son of a bitch. 105 00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:38,174 And then Larry's like... 106 00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:41,077 [imitates radio static] Now I'm at 8,000 feet. 107 00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:42,779 [panting] 108 00:04:42,814 --> 00:04:46,616 Oxygen becomes scarce at 8,500 feet. 109 00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:48,484 He's like, when I was a teenager, 110 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,419 I experienced Beatlemania, 111 00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:53,089 but this is more like, banana-man... mania. 112 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,290 Am I right? 113 00:04:54,325 --> 00:04:58,028 And then Larry's like, holy shit. Oh, my God. 114 00:04:58,063 --> 00:05:00,396 I'm at 16,000 feet. 115 00:05:00,431 --> 00:05:02,531 I'm three miles above sea level. 116 00:05:02,566 --> 00:05:05,034 I thought I would stop at 7,000, 117 00:05:05,069 --> 00:05:09,371 and now I am a two... double... two over double. 118 00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:13,408 Oh, good dear God! Oh, what have I done? 119 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,843 The pilot looks over. 120 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,745 Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. 121 00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:18,714 [rock music] 122 00:05:18,749 --> 00:05:20,049 [Derek and Dough laugh] 123 00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:22,918 A guy on a lawn chair holding a gun? 124 00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:24,887 [man screaming fades] 125 00:05:24,922 --> 00:05:28,323 Carol freaks out. She's like, Larry, you're too high. 126 00:05:28,358 --> 00:05:29,792 You're gonna get in trouble. 127 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,727 But she's like, how's the view? 128 00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:33,729 And he's like, it's nice. 129 00:05:33,764 --> 00:05:36,364 It's real good, but you're right. 130 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,200 It's time to come back down now. 131 00:05:38,235 --> 00:05:40,703 He takes the BB pistol. He shoots up. 132 00:05:40,738 --> 00:05:42,938 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew... 133 00:05:42,973 --> 00:05:46,373 seven of the 42 weather balloons. 134 00:05:46,409 --> 00:05:48,876 And then he sets the gun on his lap, 135 00:05:48,912 --> 00:05:51,879 and it falls into the sky, and it's gone. 136 00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:56,050 And he's like, oh, my God. Whoa, no! 137 00:05:56,086 --> 00:05:57,618 Oh, no! 138 00:05:57,653 --> 00:05:59,887 What am I gonna do now? 139 00:05:59,923 --> 00:06:01,856 Well, as it turns out, 140 00:06:01,891 --> 00:06:05,292 35 weather balloons is the perfect amount of balloons 141 00:06:05,328 --> 00:06:09,463 to make a safe and gradual descent into land. 142 00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:13,034 Inspiration I lands on the power cords 143 00:06:13,069 --> 00:06:16,904 in Long Beach, uh, and knocking out the power 144 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:19,006 in the entire neighborhood. 145 00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:20,975 Carol runs up to him. 146 00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:23,944 Carol says, oh, my God. Thank God you're okay. 147 00:06:23,979 --> 00:06:26,713 Gives him a big-ass hug and is like, 148 00:06:26,749 --> 00:06:30,117 please tell me you're never gonna do that again. 149 00:06:30,152 --> 00:06:33,186 He makes the evening news. 150 00:06:33,222 --> 00:06:36,790 He never gets charged with anything. 151 00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:38,258 The very next week, 152 00:06:38,293 --> 00:06:40,961 Larry gets a special invitation 153 00:06:40,996 --> 00:06:44,697 to be a guest on the "Late Night with David Letterman." 154 00:06:44,733 --> 00:06:46,166 - Wow. - Letterman says, 155 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,568 wow, how does it feel 156 00:06:48,603 --> 00:06:51,537 to accomplish something that you've always wanted to do? 157 00:06:51,573 --> 00:06:53,273 And Larry says, 158 00:06:53,308 --> 00:06:55,608 I've achieved inner peace, 159 00:06:55,644 --> 00:06:58,311 and I'm the happiest person alive today. 160 00:06:58,346 --> 00:06:59,780 [Joey Scarbury's "Believe It or Not"] 161 00:06:59,815 --> 00:07:03,483 [out of tune] ♪ Taking me out of the space I was in ♪ 162 00:07:03,518 --> 00:07:07,520 ♪ Making my wishes come true ♪ 163 00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:10,823 ♪ Believe it or not, I'm walking on air ♪ 164 00:07:10,858 --> 00:07:12,925 ♪ Never thought I could feel so ♪ 165 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,695 ♪ Free-ee-ee ♪ 166 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,397 ♪ Flying away on ♪ 167 00:07:17,432 --> 00:07:19,632 ♪ Balloons and a chair ♪ 168 00:07:19,668 --> 00:07:23,569 Both: ♪ Who could it be? ♪ 169 00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,104 ♪ Believe it or not ♪ 170 00:07:25,139 --> 00:07:27,940 ♪ It's Larry ♪ 171 00:07:27,975 --> 00:07:30,777 And that's now officially a parody, 172 00:07:30,812 --> 00:07:33,780 which is royalty-free, so you can use this. 173 00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:35,281 - To Larry Walters. - To Larry Walters. 174 00:07:35,317 --> 00:07:36,482 [glasses clank] 175 00:07:36,518 --> 00:07:39,552 Is there an Army Navy surplus store in the area? 176 00:07:39,587 --> 00:07:41,821 [tank whooshes] 177 00:07:41,856 --> 00:07:43,871 Stay tuned for more "Drunk... " [balloon pops] 178 00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:47,775 [laughter] [clatter] 179 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:54,688 Hello. I'm Allan McLeod, and today, 180 00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:56,755 we're gonna talk about Phineas Gage. 181 00:07:56,791 --> 00:07:58,291 Cheers, Allan. Welcome back. 182 00:07:58,326 --> 00:07:59,625 [glasses clank] 183 00:07:59,661 --> 00:08:02,428 So, our story begans September 1848 184 00:08:02,463 --> 00:08:04,297 in Cavendish, Vermont. 185 00:08:04,332 --> 00:08:07,166 Phineas Gage, who's the foreman of a railroad crew... 186 00:08:07,202 --> 00:08:09,202 he loves his job, and therefore, 187 00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:11,437 everybody beneath him loves working for him. 188 00:08:11,472 --> 00:08:13,072 His workers are talking to him like, 189 00:08:13,107 --> 00:08:14,273 hey, Phineas, what do you need? 190 00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:16,342 Oh, I need my rod. Thank you. 191 00:08:16,377 --> 00:08:18,311 I need my gunpowder. Thank you. 192 00:08:18,346 --> 00:08:20,213 I'm just gonna pour the gunpowder in. 193 00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:21,747 We're gonna tamp it down, 194 00:08:21,782 --> 00:08:24,817 and we're about to go 'splody-'splody with it. 195 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,686 Is everybody having a good da... 196 00:08:26,721 --> 00:08:28,588 [explosion] 197 00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:30,622 So, this rod is made of iron. 198 00:08:30,657 --> 00:08:32,190 It's about 4 feet long. 199 00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:34,593 It's about an inch and a quarter in dinameter. 200 00:08:34,628 --> 00:08:37,729 When the explosion happens, it shoots through his head, 201 00:08:37,764 --> 00:08:39,664 through his brain, through his skull, 202 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,399 and lands a few yards away. 203 00:08:41,435 --> 00:08:43,501 But amazingly, he was conscious. 204 00:08:43,537 --> 00:08:45,803 All the workers rush up to Phineas like, you okay? 205 00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:47,672 You okay? He's like, yeah. 206 00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,674 No, I'm back. Let's... let's get back to it. 207 00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,843 We gotta break these rocks, son. 208 00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:55,012 They're like, Phineas, we gotta get you to the hospital, man. 209 00:08:55,048 --> 00:09:00,084 So they go to the medical office of Dr. John Harlow. 210 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,420 And doc's like, come on in, buddy. 211 00:09:02,456 --> 00:09:05,823 We gotta get all the skull debris 212 00:09:05,859 --> 00:09:08,059 and loose brain out of the way, 213 00:09:08,094 --> 00:09:10,628 so I'm just gonna stick my fingers here, 214 00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:14,198 and, uh, through your brain here, and, uh, well, 215 00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:16,734 I'm gonna stick my other fingers through this thing, 216 00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:19,103 and... well, my fingers are touching now. 217 00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:22,840 [laughing] It's like Chinese finger trapping here, man. 218 00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:24,776 Dr. Harlow bandages him up. 219 00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:28,045 And Phineas is like, can I have my pants now? 220 00:09:28,081 --> 00:09:29,947 You can have more than your pants now. 221 00:09:29,983 --> 00:09:32,616 You can have your shoes. You can have your socks. 222 00:09:32,652 --> 00:09:34,819 I'll even throw in your underwear. 223 00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:35,987 Word starts spreading, 224 00:09:36,022 --> 00:09:38,422 gets around to this doctor over at Harvard, 225 00:09:38,457 --> 00:09:40,591 Dr. Henry Bigelow. 226 00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:44,294 Dr. Bigelow has him do a battery of tests... 227 00:09:44,329 --> 00:09:47,497 memory tests and motor skills tests. 228 00:09:47,532 --> 00:09:48,832 He does great on them. 229 00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:51,567 Dr. Bigelow is like, hey, you got a clean bill of health. 230 00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,736 This is crazy, but... [laughs] 231 00:09:53,772 --> 00:09:56,539 It looks like you can have a traumatic brain injury 232 00:09:56,574 --> 00:09:59,843 to the frontal lobe and it's not a really big deal. 233 00:09:59,878 --> 00:10:01,211 That's great news. 234 00:10:01,246 --> 00:10:04,614 The brain is resilient as fuck. 235 00:10:04,649 --> 00:10:06,917 So he goes home to celebrate with his boys. 236 00:10:06,952 --> 00:10:08,718 He's hanging out and he's like, 237 00:10:08,753 --> 00:10:11,621 let's get another motherfucking round 238 00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:14,757 of shots, baby. 239 00:10:14,793 --> 00:10:16,893 So Phineas, what's been going on, man? 240 00:10:16,929 --> 00:10:19,895 Ugh, I was just up in Boston, man... tearing it up, dude. 241 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,464 I was meeting with this doctor at Harvard... Bigelow. 242 00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:24,066 He's studying me 'cause I'm, like, 243 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,868 basically superhuman right now. 244 00:10:25,903 --> 00:10:28,237 Fuck that, though. Let's not even talk about that. 245 00:10:28,272 --> 00:10:30,639 Let's get some pussay! 246 00:10:30,674 --> 00:10:33,775 What? Phineas, you're acting super weird. 247 00:10:33,811 --> 00:10:36,278 You don't seem to be your normal self. 248 00:10:36,314 --> 00:10:38,547 What? I'm the true me now. 249 00:10:38,582 --> 00:10:42,351 I'm my truest self. I'm hypersexual, man. 250 00:10:42,386 --> 00:10:44,119 I'm sorry if you don't like it, 251 00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:48,090 but time to get with the program. Let's fuck. 252 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,524 Are you okay, Phinny? 253 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,159 I'm not Phinny anymore. 254 00:10:51,194 --> 00:10:54,362 I'm Mr. Gage with the big dick. 255 00:10:54,397 --> 00:10:56,164 [chuckling softly] 256 00:10:56,199 --> 00:10:59,567 I had a man finger my head, so I can do anything. 257 00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:00,935 I'll fuck a dog. 258 00:11:00,971 --> 00:11:03,037 [laughs] 259 00:11:03,073 --> 00:11:05,139 Uh, so anyway, can I have my old job back 260 00:11:05,175 --> 00:11:06,607 as foreman of the railroad crew? 261 00:11:06,642 --> 00:11:09,577 I'm sorry, man. We're not really sure you're as responsible 262 00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:11,512 as you used to be, and I don't know. 263 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:14,048 You just kind of changed since the head injury, 264 00:11:14,084 --> 00:11:16,217 and we hate to say it, but we're not gonna... 265 00:11:16,253 --> 00:11:17,585 you can't be foreman anymore. 266 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:20,588 He was like, you know what? Fuck you guys. 267 00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:23,457 I'm taking my rod and I'm hitting the road. 268 00:11:23,493 --> 00:11:26,059 Phineas leaves jobless. 269 00:11:26,095 --> 00:11:30,531 He sees a sign for P.T. Barnum's museum of curiosities, 270 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:34,735 and he decides to go to New York and become a curiosity. 271 00:11:34,771 --> 00:11:36,103 And they're like, step right up. 272 00:11:36,138 --> 00:11:38,539 See the man who has a rod for a best friend, 273 00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:40,875 and hear a story of why it's his best friend 274 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,610 'cause it shot through his head one time, 275 00:11:42,645 --> 00:11:44,278 and now he's got a hole in his head. 276 00:11:44,313 --> 00:11:48,181 Bit of a long lead-up, but just go in and see him, hey. 277 00:11:48,217 --> 00:11:51,419 He even charges extra for people who wanna come up 278 00:11:51,454 --> 00:11:54,288 and pull his hair back and see his brain. 279 00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:56,223 Step right up. You wanna see his brain? 280 00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,391 Pay a little extra. 281 00:11:57,427 --> 00:12:01,228 You can see his pulsating, gleaming, juicy brain. 282 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:05,532 Daddy, can I see his gleaming, juicy brain? 283 00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:08,268 Oh, Christ. All right. 284 00:12:08,304 --> 00:12:09,937 - Jesus. - [laughs] 285 00:12:09,972 --> 00:12:11,405 So he's on display 286 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,607 as a sideshow attraction with P.T. Barnum. 287 00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:19,980 And Phineas eventually goes to San Francisco to his old family farm. 288 00:12:20,015 --> 00:12:22,882 Phineas is a lot different. His emotions have changed. 289 00:12:22,918 --> 00:12:24,751 And he's like, I fucking love you, Mom. 290 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,925 I fucking love you, Uncle. Yes! 291 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,622 And that's when his uncle and his mom... 292 00:12:29,658 --> 00:12:32,559 they realized something's off with his personality. 293 00:12:32,594 --> 00:12:34,994 He's not the same old Phineas Gage. 294 00:12:35,029 --> 00:12:37,463 And everything starts catching up to him. 295 00:12:37,498 --> 00:12:40,066 And 12 years after his accident, 296 00:12:40,101 --> 00:12:45,137 in 1860, Phineas Gage passes away. 297 00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:47,873 John Harlow, his first doctor, hears about that and is like, 298 00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:51,844 hey, uh, Mama Gage. I know this is kinda weird, 299 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:54,180 but can I, you know, exhume the body? 300 00:12:54,215 --> 00:12:55,948 Can I, like, dig up your son 301 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,418 and take his skull and study it and... 302 00:12:59,454 --> 00:13:01,787 All I wanna do is exhume-zoom-zoom... 303 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,423 [laughter] 304 00:13:05,459 --> 00:13:06,557 [snorts] 305 00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:07,959 They exhume the body. 306 00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:10,128 He takes the skull of Phineas Gage. 307 00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:13,531 Dr. John Harlow actually kept detailed diaries 308 00:13:13,566 --> 00:13:17,702 on Phineas and his progress over the years. 309 00:13:17,737 --> 00:13:20,505 It was these diaries that helped scientists 310 00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:24,109 make the connection between injuries to the frontal lobe 311 00:13:24,144 --> 00:13:28,313 and personality changes, impulse control, 312 00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:29,847 and anti-social behavior. 313 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,349 Everything that's written about 314 00:13:31,385 --> 00:13:32,917 Phineas Gage's brain injury 315 00:13:32,952 --> 00:13:36,453 is important to the last 170 years 316 00:13:36,489 --> 00:13:38,890 of neuroscientific research. 317 00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:40,424 Okay. 318 00:13:40,459 --> 00:13:42,393 - Cheers. - Believe it or not. 319 00:13:42,428 --> 00:13:44,972 Stay tuned for more of "Drunk History." 320 00:13:47,132 --> 00:13:49,697 - [laughs] - You okay? 321 00:13:50,835 --> 00:13:52,868 [hiccups, laughs] Oh, boy. 322 00:13:52,904 --> 00:13:55,070 Hello, I'm... [laughs] 323 00:13:55,105 --> 00:13:57,039 Okay, wait. I feel like... okay... 324 00:13:57,074 --> 00:14:00,943 [laughs] 325 00:14:00,978 --> 00:14:04,580 Okay... [cackling] 326 00:14:04,615 --> 00:14:06,248 Hello, I'm Jennie Pierson, 327 00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:11,219 and tonight, we'll be discussing the Greenbrier Ghost. 328 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:12,923 _ 329 00:14:12,924 --> 00:14:16,825 on January 23rd, 1897, 330 00:14:16,861 --> 00:14:20,996 in Greenbrier County, West Virginia. 331 00:14:21,032 --> 00:14:24,799 Edward Shue is toiling in his blacksmith shop. 332 00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:30,439 Suddenly, he spies a local boy walk by, and he's like, boy, 333 00:14:30,474 --> 00:14:34,476 if you could go to my house and check on my wife 334 00:14:34,511 --> 00:14:37,845 and ask her if she needs anything, 335 00:14:37,881 --> 00:14:40,048 uh, from... if... sh... uh... 336 00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:44,162 [laughs] 337 00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:47,089 And ask my wife if she needs me 338 00:14:47,124 --> 00:14:50,725 to bring anything home to her on my way home. 339 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,027 - Sounds very lazy. - Super fucking lazy. 340 00:14:53,063 --> 00:14:56,397 So, this little boy, like, goes to the house. 341 00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:59,133 He's like, hello? Mrs. Shue? 342 00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:00,334 Hello? Where is e... 343 00:15:00,369 --> 00:15:04,037 is anybody here... Li... hello... 344 00:15:04,073 --> 00:15:07,941 and what he sees is Edward's wife, Zona, 345 00:15:07,977 --> 00:15:09,977 dead at the foot of the stairs. 346 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:11,412 [dramatic music] 347 00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:16,615 [long, high-pitched scream] 348 00:15:18,154 --> 00:15:21,822 Oh, boy. I've never seen a dead body before... 349 00:15:21,857 --> 00:15:23,624 [Derek and Jennie laugh] 350 00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:25,526 So, a few hours later, 351 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:29,896 Dr. George W. Knapp arrived to examine the body, 352 00:15:29,932 --> 00:15:32,798 and finds that Edward has already 353 00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:35,635 bathed the body and dressed it. 354 00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:38,404 So Edward is, like, cradling his wife's head in his arms, 355 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,473 and he's like... [sobbing] 356 00:15:40,509 --> 00:15:43,510 My wife... [sobbing continues] 357 00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:44,710 Oh! 358 00:15:44,746 --> 00:15:46,912 And Knapp is like, excuse me. 359 00:15:46,948 --> 00:15:49,782 Can I... excuse me, could I... I just need to... 360 00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:52,852 I gotta check the... if I could get into the... 361 00:15:52,887 --> 00:15:54,521 [sighing] Oh, boy. 362 00:15:54,556 --> 00:15:57,958 So, he goes, okay, well, since I can't really 363 00:15:57,959 --> 00:16:03,163 examine the body, I guess it seems like she died from, um, 364 00:16:03,198 --> 00:16:05,831 ever... everlasting faint? 365 00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:08,167 And he deduced this because he had been 366 00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:11,970 treating her for "female trouble," 367 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,838 which I guess just means, like, cramps. 368 00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,340 Like, her period... [chuckles] 369 00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:17,242 So he puts that on the coroner's report. 370 00:16:17,278 --> 00:16:20,179 So, Zona's mother, Mary Jane, is like, 371 00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:21,547 wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. 372 00:16:21,582 --> 00:16:26,251 Wait. You guys, there's 100% no way 373 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:28,287 my daughter died from her period... 374 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:30,722 [hiccups, laughs] 375 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,459 Okay. Four weeks later, she felt a chill in the air. 376 00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:36,295 There was a flash of light. 377 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,963 She's like, what is going on? 378 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:41,300 The ghost of her daughter appears. 379 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:44,202 Zona, the daughter, is sorta staring at her, 380 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,004 and she's not saying anything, and then all of a sudden, 381 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,640 her head starts to turn, 382 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:53,311 and it turns completely around... 383 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,379 all the way around. 384 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,316 And Mary Jane is like, oh, my God... 385 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,351 [hiccups] Your neck was broken. 386 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:02,486 So Mary Jane is like, oh, shit! 387 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,055 Like, my daughter got murdered by her husband. 388 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,458 Like, I have to go tell somebody what happened 389 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:09,594 because she didn't just die from her period. 390 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,795 That's insane... [laughs] 391 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,331 [dramatic music] 392 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,466 So, like, the next morning, 393 00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:20,804 she runs to the prosecutor, John Alfred Preston. 394 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,140 And this prosecutor's like... [heavy sigh] 395 00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:25,675 [laughing] He's exhausted because he's having 396 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,510 to prosecute everybody because 397 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,547 everyone's a nightmare in the 1800s. 398 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,716 So she tells him what happened. 399 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:36,153 She's like, I know this sounds batshit bananas 400 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,156 creepy crazy, but this is real. 401 00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:41,458 And he's like, I don't know about this ghost story, 402 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,660 but let... let me look at the evidence. 403 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:45,695 He looks at the specifics and he's like, 404 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:49,199 okay, female trouble, everlasting faint... 405 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,902 this seems fucking suspect. 406 00:17:52,937 --> 00:17:56,739 So Preston's like, Dr. Knapp, can you come into my office? 407 00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,574 I need you to exhume the body, 408 00:17:58,609 --> 00:18:01,110 and I need you to reexamine it and... look at me... 409 00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:04,814 I need you to do a fucking good job this time. 410 00:18:04,849 --> 00:18:07,083 So they exhume the body. They reexamine it. 411 00:18:07,118 --> 00:18:11,254 And he's like, looks like her neck is broken, 412 00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:15,024 and there's finger marks on her neck? 413 00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:16,325 Oh, God. 414 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,929 [stammers] She was murdered! 415 00:18:19,964 --> 00:18:22,464 I didn't do my job. 416 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,765 [snickers] 417 00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,566 [laughs] What? 418 00:18:25,602 --> 00:18:28,469 So John Preston is like, well, I guess this ghost lady... 419 00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:31,072 [laughs] Like, was right. 420 00:18:32,337 --> 00:18:35,943 [dramatic music] 421 00:18:37,873 --> 00:18:39,706 I'm very drunk... [laughs] 422 00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:41,675 I like that... oh... [laughs] 423 00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:43,376 I pissed. 424 00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:44,878 [glass clanks] 425 00:18:44,913 --> 00:18:47,046 [laughs] 426 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,516 [snorts] Why'd you make me piss though? 427 00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:52,619 So Edward gets arrested. We go to the trial. 428 00:18:52,654 --> 00:18:55,889 And Preston did not wanna put Mary Jane on the stand 429 00:18:55,924 --> 00:18:57,791 to tell the ghost story because he was afraid that 430 00:18:57,826 --> 00:18:59,993 that would make her look batshit crazy. 431 00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:03,096 And that is precisely why the... 432 00:19:03,131 --> 00:19:04,998 What do you call it? [laughs] 433 00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:07,000 Defense. Sorry. 434 00:19:07,035 --> 00:19:09,568 - Mm-hmm, yeah, you got it. - Oh, my God. 435 00:19:09,604 --> 00:19:12,438 I've watched so much of "Law & Order." I should know this. 436 00:19:12,474 --> 00:19:15,341 The defense attorney... he asks her, 437 00:19:15,377 --> 00:19:20,179 uh, apparently, you saw your daughter come to you as a ghost. 438 00:19:20,215 --> 00:19:22,681 Why don't you tell us about that, you dumb lady? 439 00:19:22,717 --> 00:19:25,518 And she's like, look, I prayed for weeks 440 00:19:25,553 --> 00:19:28,954 that the ghost of my daughter would appear to me 441 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,124 and tell me how she was murdered. 442 00:19:31,159 --> 00:19:35,761 And she finally appeared to me and told me that 443 00:19:35,796 --> 00:19:41,433 her husband, Edward, had broken her neck out of anger. 444 00:19:41,468 --> 00:19:42,834 That's what happened, you guys. 445 00:19:42,869 --> 00:19:45,270 That is what happened. 446 00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:47,939 And the judge is like, I'll allow it. 447 00:19:47,974 --> 00:19:52,977 Everybody, I allow the testimony of a ghost 448 00:19:53,013 --> 00:19:56,781 to be allowed into the legal court documents. 449 00:19:56,816 --> 00:20:00,318 Order, order, everybody! Order! 450 00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:01,653 So he hits the gavel. 451 00:20:01,688 --> 00:20:05,223 The jury deliberates for an hour and ten minutes. 452 00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:07,192 The jury foreman comes back and is like, 453 00:20:07,227 --> 00:20:09,794 despite any concrete evidence, 454 00:20:09,829 --> 00:20:15,299 what we did hear is this ghost testimony, and we're buying it, 455 00:20:15,334 --> 00:20:17,801 and because of that, this guy is guilty. 456 00:20:17,836 --> 00:20:19,570 They don't have any doubt. 457 00:20:19,605 --> 00:20:22,606 The judge is like, he's sentenced to a life in prison. 458 00:20:22,641 --> 00:20:25,242 And Mary Jane breathes a sigh of relief... 459 00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:26,677 [relieved sigh] 460 00:20:26,712 --> 00:20:29,112 Fucking finally. 461 00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:31,647 This is the only known case 462 00:20:31,683 --> 00:20:34,417 where a testimony from a ghost 463 00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:37,853 helped convict a murderer. 464 00:20:37,889 --> 00:20:40,890 That's so insane-sounding... [laughter] 465 00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:43,393 Never felt more insane. 466 00:20:43,428 --> 00:20:47,501 ["FANTASMIC: Opening" by Bruce Healey] 467 00:20:59,644 --> 00:21:05,692 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 37645

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