All language subtitles for Designing Woman - 1957 AAC.en

My name's Mike Hagen.
I'm a sports writer.

If you read the papers,
maybe you've heard of me.

I was involved in that,
uh, ruckus up in Boston.

A lot of people have asked me
for the facts about that affair.

I certainly have no objection
to telling my side of it.

Still,
the story wouldn't be complete

unless you heard
from some of the others involved

like...Marilia.

I imagine Marilia
might have something to say.

I have a good deal to say.
Not only about my side of it

but about Mike's, too.

Because, uh, Mike
doesn't always tell the truth.

Not that he means to lie or
anything, but.. Well, you..

You have to know Mike.

Then, of course,
there's someone else

who could shed
considerable light on things...

...if she will.

I'm Lori Shannon.

I... I really have
very little to tell.

I was involved, of course,
but in quite an innocent way.

Not, uh,
everybody believed that...

...but I'm sure
Zachary Wilde does.

Look, uh, frankly, I'd like to
keep out of the whole mess.

However, there...
There is another witness

a man named,
uh, Maxie Stultz.

I'm sure
he could be very informative.

Yeah. I wanna tell everything
I know, the whole truth

because I was always a good
stand-up boy, honest fighter.

I was champion for 3 years.
I'm makin' a comeback now.

So, uh, I wanna tell everything
I know... Everything.

Let me think now.

I don't know anything.

The whole thing began

out in Beverly Hills,
the night

of the California Invitational,
a golf tournament.

I'd picked Johnnie Strawn in
the sports writers' Calcutta

a sort of lottery.

And I'd won myself $1,200.

So I was buying that night
and feeling fine... Just fine.

Hey, Mike! Come here.

Hey, Mike.
Tell the guy about the guy

that wears the glasses
and the umpire...

I say Johnnie Strawn may be the
best golfer in America in years.

What do you think of that, huh?

I was feeling
just fine the next morning.

It was noon. I'd been up about
a half an hour...

...showering and shaving

and breakfasting
on a small tin of aspirin.

Nothing helped.

Let's see now. Up until 10:00
the night before

everything was crystal clear.
I was having a couple of drinks

with some newspaper friends

celebrating
the $1,200 I had won.

Twelve hundred dollars...

All I had now were three 10s
and a handful of silver.

Down?

Some newspapermen
drink too much.

- Hi, boy.
- Uh, hi, Larry.

- How do you feel?
- Yeah.

Say, how'd you handle
the story yesterday?

- Hmm?
- The story.

The California Invitational,
remember?

Oh. Ho ho ho.

Hey, you didn't forget
to file your copy.

Since when have I ever forgotten
to file my copy?

Always a first time.

My copy, had I forgotten it?

A lead flashed in front of my
eyes. "Johnnie Strawn,

The gill-sized giant of
golfdom

smashes his way to victory
with a sizzling 66."

Had I written those words
somewhere sometime?

Had I dreamed them?

- Uh, miss. Miss?
- Yes, sir.

I'd like to see
a copy of a long wire

that I sent to the "New York
Record"late last night

or, uh,
about 2:00 or 3:00 this morning.

Are you sick, mister?

- Uh, the wire, please.
- Yes, sir.

Well, let's see.
"New York Times"

"New York Herald Tribune"..

- "New York"--
- "New York Record."

The greatest golf story of the
decade, and I'd fluffed it.

And my career was ruined.

Coffee...
That's what I needed, coffee.

Seven or eight pots of coffee
and a quiet locale

where I could think up a good
lie for my editor.

Coffee, please.

There he was, my character of
the night before...

...Mr. Michael Hagen.

I thought he saw me, too,
so I gave him a friendly wave.

Hey!

My character seemed a little
subdued this morning.

It never occurred to me that my
character didn't have

the slightest idea who I was.

Well, good morning.
How do you feel?

Great. Tip-top.

Did you sleep alright?

Fine, I'm not even awake yet.

Your eyes are red.

I bathed them in alka-fizz.

Well, anyway,
it's a beautiful morning.

Look, isn't it lovely?

May I make a suggestion?

Why don't you jump
into a swimsuit

and take a quick plunge?

- May I make a suggestion?
- What?

- You take a plunge.
- Oh, sorry.

I-I guess you're not
feeling very sociable.

Here. I-I've been waiting
all morning.

- Why, what's that?
- Seven hundred dollars.

You gave it to me.

- When?
- Last night.

- What for?
- You liked me.

- That much, huh?
- Oh, now...

- Here, you keep it.
- Don't be ridiculous.

- I gave it to you. It's yours.
- Will you, please?

If I gave it to you
I must've meant it.

Call for Mr. Michael Hagen!

- Now, just a minute.
- Boy!

- Yes, sir!
- Oh, if you think--

- Mr. Hagen?
- Yep, yep.

- Uh, New York is calling.
- Uh, where?

You can take it in that booth
over there.

Now, listen,
Mr. Hagen. Listen, Mr...

I had to stay, if only to
straighten Mr. Hagen

out on a few facts.

Uh, Mike Hagen here.

Uh, Mr. Hagen,
Mr. Ned Hammerstein

of the
"New York Record" calling.

Yeah, yeah.
Put him on. Put him on.

Hello. Hello, Mike?

Hello, Ned. Now, listen,
Ned about that copy...

I can't understand what
happened.

I spoke to Western Union.
I tried to--

Never mind about the copy.
You're in a little trouble, boy.

What do you mean "trouble"?

I'm trying to explain to you
exactly why my copy didn't

Forget it.
The copy was okay. Now, look--

You mean, you liked my copy?

The copy that I sent last night?

Yes, it was all alright. Now,
what is the matter with you?!

Nothing, Ned.
Everything is great.

Well, everything
is not so great back here.

That column you did on
Mart Daylor on the fight racket?

Well, he was in here twice to
see about a retraction.

He's plenty burned!

Fine, fine. Good morning.

Are you listening to me?

Certainly, why?

I want to remind you,
my friend

that Mart Daylor knows some
very influential people

especially a bevy of thugs

who would like to see you laid
out in an alley some night

with your face bashed in.

Okay, great. I'll take care of
it right away.

You like my copy, huh?

Yes! Yes! I told you twice
I like the copy!

Okay. Alright, Ned. Bye-bye.

I was a new man.
My hangover was gone.

I felt like singing.

I loved the whole world
and all its people.

I would even, I decided

be nice to that ugly girl who'd
been annoying me.

Must have been
a different girl.

Well, how would you like some
breakfast? Waiter!

A breakfast menu, please.

I'd like to apologize for the
way I acted before.

You see, I was a little revved
up about something.

There was a story that I was
supposed to send to New York

and I was afraid...

Well, it's really nothing that
would interest you very much.

It was a story that--

You mean, the "Johnny Strawn

the gill-sized
giant of golfdom" story?

How did you know?

Because we wrote it together,
the two of us.

The two...? Where?

In a very small
and quite dirty bar and grill

about 40 miles north. You wired
the story from Santa Barbara.

Oh, that's where, that's why--

And that's when
you gave me the $700.

- Oh. I'm sorry.
- It's alright, uh...

Well, uh...
What happened after that?

Nothing.
We drove home and I took you

to your door
about 6 o'clock.

- You really don't remember?
- Uh, go on.

Well, nothing.
You shook my hand

and told me
if I was ever in New York

to be sure
and look you up,

and that you'd find me a spot
in the sports-writing field.

Alright. When can you start?

I really wrote it, huh?

Including that
"gill-sized giant--"

Well, actually,
that phrase was my idea.

Ah ha ha. I'm glad.

Oh, I thought
it was rather good.

Where did we meet, anyway?

Oh, right over there,
at the bar.

And then later
I was at Mrs. Harrington's

when you came in
with your friends.

Oh, yeah, Mrs. Harrington.
Yeah. Mrs. Harrington.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Who is Mrs. Harrington?

We began to laugh.

Three hours later,
we were still laughing.

- How about dinner?
- Oh, I'm afraid not.

I'm on a 6 o'clock
plane to New York.

Thanks anyway, though.

Oh, here, you earned it,
by helping me write the story.

Now, let's not play that again.

- Oh, no. You saved my job.
- Please.

Okay, we'll spend it. That's the
only way to settle things.

Spend every penny, take a couple
of days doing it.

Well, if that isn't the
silliest--

After all, we work hard. We're
entitled to a little relaxation.

We're due for it, both of us.

- I don't need relaxation.
- You work, don't you?

- Yes, of course.
- Alright. That does it.

We'll spend it together,
have a real ball.

I couldn't possibly.

Now listen, nobody knows
how to live anymore.

We're all too busy
to enjoy ourselves.

Do you know
where you are right now?

- Well, just off-hand--
- California.

The playground
of the western world.

It's all around us,
the mountains, the desert

Marineland, the Pacific Ocean.
Don't forget the Pacific Ocean.

Oh, I won't.

Tell me, have you ever
sailed in a small boat

way out on the ocean,
with the salt-spray in your face

the wind in your hair?

- No. Have you?
- Certainly not.

You think I'm crazy?

But I'd be willing to try.
Come on.

Oh, no. I couldn't.
I couldn't possibly.

During the next four days

we hardly made
a dent in Mike's $700

because all we did was lie
around and yak it up.

- What's that?
- A sketch for a dress.

That's what I do,
design clothes.

- For a living?
- Uh-huh.

Well, well... What do you know?

That's why I have to get back to
New York tonight.

And that's why...
For heaven's sake

do you realize
I haven't packed yet?

Oh, ho ho. I'm sorry.

Please, Mike,
I've really got to rush.

Wait. We have things to see,
Marineland, porpoises.

We haven't seen them
feed the porpoises.

Mike, it's...
It's out of the question.

I can't possibly. Come on.

Welcome to Marineland
of the Pacific

the world's largest oceanarium.
We'd like to tell you that...

I can't remember who first
brought up the subject of love.

It certainly
doesn't sound like me.

One minute
I was experting on the care

and feeding of porpoises
and the next thing I knew

we were talking about love,
its symptoms.

I eat like a fool,
when I'm in love, I mean.

My friend used to tell me they
couldn't swallow a morsel

but I eat like a fool.

With that boy from Yale, that
was some time ago, of course

I gained 8 pounds. And then
there was this certain artist.

Waters off
the California coast.

It was 2 years
before I got back to normal.

I just eat and eat and eat.

Just a cup
of cold consomme, please.

And maybe
the tiniest bit of that pompano

a large lobster salad,
and... Oh dear, you have trout.

Will you have both?

Alright.
And then for dessert, I'll...

I felt the blush
coming from my waist up.

Mike was staring at me.
He knew it as well as I did.

I was in love
with my character.

How about it, hmm?

Mike?

We're adults.

We know what we're doing.

Hmm?

I couldn't, Mike.

She did, though. We were
married that night in Arizona.

Do you, Marilia, take Michael to
be your lawfully wedded husband

to love and to cherish?

After a honeymoon of exactly 20
1/2 hours, we flew to New York

our arms locked the whole way,
except for breakfast.

Marilia needed
two hands for that.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it is now expected

we will land
in New York on scheduled

time, which will be 9:10.

One hour.
Hey, where do you live, anyway?

74th street.

Oh, we'll stop
at my place first. It's closer.

Then we'll hop a cab
and pick up your stuff.

Cab? What about my furniture?

Oh, give it away.
Can't live in two places.

It was a wonderful trip, but a
few minutes out of New York

a strange thing happened.

Marilia changed her clothes.

Sorry, Madam, this seat's taken.

I may have to stop by the
office. My working clothes.

This was just the first in a
series of wardrobe changes

which never failed to amaze me.

Believe me, this kid changed
her clothes nine times a day.

We went
to Mike's apartment first.

Just outside the door, he
suddenly got embarrassed.

Maybe I bragged too much about
this place.

It's not
the Taj Mahal or anything.

Let me see.

Is it comfortable, that's what
I'd say. You'll love it.

- Open up.
- Take a look.

I took a look.

The first thing I thought of

was my little brother's
shoe box

in which he used to keep
all his possessions.

Old string and marbles
and bits of colored glass.

The prospect of taking up
permanent residence

in this shoe box
was somewhat unnerving

but I didn't want to hurt
Mike's feelings.

He was so proud of everything.

Opening off
the shoe box was a door

leading to another shoe box

which I assumed
was the bedroom.

The apartment wasn't really at
its best that day.

Things seemed a little out of
place, one thing in particular.

Mm-hmm...

Uh-huh...

What else could I say?

When it's cleaned up a little
with new curtains

and the right kind
of pictures...

It'll be a real hellhole.

- We'll move tomorrow.
- Oh, Mike.

Just for tonight, we'll stay at
my place. Alright with you?

Yeah.

I guess I never looked at this
trap before. Hello.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ned, I'm back.
It's the office.

Oh, I can't get down right now.
I'm busy. I've got a...

Oh, that's alright.
Go ahead.

What?

Oh, look.
I've been threatened before.

I don't worry about the...

Alright. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right away.

How do you like that?
I'm back in town 20 minutes--

Well, that's alright. I've got
plenty to do here, anyway.

- Mike?
- What?

You're not in any trouble
or anything?

What do you...
Oh, you mean that?

No. No.
What? What's the matter?

It's just occurred to me.

I don't know you
very well, do I?

- Well enough, hmm?
- Hmm. Maybe.

Hey, how about this?
Our first parting.

Sad.

I think I'll stay.

Unh-unh.

- Uh--
- Unh-unh.

For the next hour or so

I packed Mike's marbles and
bits of glass singing happily.

Until I came across
a picture of a girl.

Well, I guess it was a girl.

She was certainly in an odd
position.

I wasn't worried,
of course, just interested.

I wanted to see what a lady
contortionist looked like.

Nothing. All I knew was that
she had straight teeth

and the kind of expansion
men seem to favor.

I measured it mentally against
my own, came off a bad second

and tore her carefully into
small pieces.

At the office, I was the target

of the usual ribbing
and laughter

associated with holy matrimony.

Luke Coslow, the office boy

came up with a real
side-splitter.

Quiet! Quiet!
Here you are, old man.

Ready-made...
Saves time and trouble.

Tell that old goat...

But I must say,
my editor Ned Hammerstein

was very sentimental.

You're eight days late.
I'll take it off your vacation

providing, you get a vacation.

Meanwhile,
if you got nothing to do

maybe you better
cover the fight next week.

There's a couple
of folks in town

who would like to know about it.
And speakin' of fights

you got a sweet one on your
hands with Mart Daylor.

What's his beef?

Your column,
March 16, this year

"The great Martin J. Daylor who
calls himself a fight promoter

is promoting
mostly Mart Daylor.

He has a string on every
fighter or manager in New York.

Nobody fights without
Mart Daylor's permission

or without
paying Mart Daylor's cut.

I suggest
that Mr. Daylor retire

to his palatial farm
in Bucks County

before an irate sports world
retires him forcibly

to a crooked boy's bin."

What are you buckin' for,
a quick funeral?

Now, Ned, this isn't the roaring
twenties. People don't--

Mart Daylor would like that.

Take a murder rap?
He's too smart--

Who mentioned murder?
All that'd happen is

you're walking along
3rd avenue some night

a truck jumps the curb,
an accident...

Nobody's fault in the world.

But you're cooling off
on the pavement

so you can't be sure.

Alright.

What do you want me to do,
print a retraction?

I don't care
what you do. What am I?

A sentimental slob or something?
Do what you want.

Just make sure your by-line
doesn't appear

in the obit column.

- Okay, Ned.
- Oh, wait.

Here...

From, uh...

From Nora and me...
A wedding present.

- From Nora and--
- Well, from Nora.

You liked it up at the house.
She thought you could use it.

I didn't have time to put paper

oh, get it wrapped
and send the bill to me.

Oh, Ned, I can't--

Oh, no speeches! Come on.

Get it out of here.
It's in my way.

Phone calls
for Mr. Michael Hagen

Mart Daylor,
Mart Daylor...

Mart Daylor,
Mart Daylor...

Lori Shannon...

Lori Shannon. I hadn't thought
of her once in eight days.

When I did now,
it didn't feel so good.

I was speaking of Lori Shannon

the girl that you're probably
plenty worried about.

However, since
you've retired from the field

you might inform Miss Shannon

that there's
a handsome, young newspaperman

who would be very, very happy
to substitute at any...

Oh, very funny. Very funny.

11:00 A.M. she was probably
still at her TV rehearsal.

♪♪ There'll be a change
in the weather ♪♪

♪ And a change in the sea ♪

♪ From now on there'll be a ♪

♪♪ Change in me ♪♪

♪♪ My walk will be different ♪♪

♪♪ My talk and my name ♪♪

♪♪ Nothin' about me's gonna ♪♪

♪♪ Be the same ♪♪

♪♪ I'm gonna change
my way of livin' ♪♪

♪♪ If that ain't enough ♪♪

♪♪ Then I'll change the way I ♪♪

♪♪ Strut my stuff 'cause nobody ♪♪

♪♪ Nobody wants you
when you're old and gray ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be some
changes made today ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be
some changes made ♪♪

He arrived about noon

my Lochinvar,
from out of the west.

Come to tell me
about his marriage.

He stood there like he was
awaiting his execution.

He was nice and tanned
after his California vacation.

Healthy looking, too.

Of course, he'd only been
married for a day and a half.

♪♪ Nobody ♪♪

♪♪ Nobody wants you
when you are old and gray ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be some
changes made today ♪♪

♪♪ They'll be some
changes made ♪♪♪♪

Hello, Mike.

Hello, Lori.

How've you been?

Quite well.
How have you?

Oh, I-I've been quite well.

- You look well.
- Oh, I feel good. Uh...

Where're we going?
On a picnic?

Oh, no. This is a...
Well it...

My, my boss Ned Hammerstein
he picked...

Look. How about lunch?

Oh, I'd love it.

It'll just take me a minute
to change clothes.

We went to Andrucci's,
our old hangout.

And we ordered
our old favourite.

Ah, ravioli Andrucci.

He hadn't gotten around
to confessing his marriage.

And was making a botch
of the small talk.

Ned is the same old
Simon Legree.

He was so pathetic,
I had to help him out.

Look I got something
to tell you.

Let me tell you, Mike.

You, found a girl.

The most wonderful girl
in the world.

The kind of girl that you
just couldn't live without.

And you married her.
That's all.

I knew you'd understand.

Why shouldn't I?

There's no point
making a federal case

out of something
that couldn't be helped.

I'd have probably done
the same thing myself

if I'd have found
the right man.

Well, I thought because
I didn't send a...

He was grateful
as a Saint Bernard.

And I felt generous
and warm hearted inside.

It was a good scene.

But then I made a mistake.

I asked him
to tell me about it.

And he made a bigger mistake.

He told me.

Well, she's not like
anyone else I know...

I heard all about her eyes
and her hair and her figure.

And the way she walked.

I heard all about her fine
sense of humor and her clothes.

And the cute way she had
of tilting her head

when she laughed.

Tossing her head
when she laughs.

Sort of like a pony.

After a while,
I knew her like a sister.

Anyway, I'm...so glad,
that you understand.

Why shouldn't I?

Well, guess I better be
getting back to rehearsal.

You don't, don't mind
if I don't get up?

Oh, please don't.

Mr. Hagen,
you didn't get your lunch?

Yeah, I got it.

Would you like to have
something else?

No, that'll be plenty.

Uh, just get me a check
and a pair of pants.

A pair of pants?

Now, look don't make a fuss.

Just borrow me a pair
of pants from somebody.

- Aah!
- No, fuss.

How did it happen?

The lady did it.

Borrow the pants.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Are you sure?
I'm Mr. Hagen's wife.

I still don't think
he's here.

Oh, yes. Yes he is.

I just remembered.
This way please.

Thank you.

He's right over there.

Well, what a small world!

Uh, you don't mind
if I don't get up?

Oh, you shy about kissing
in public?

Your office told me
you might be here.

And I wanted
to see you anyway.

Big new.
I've got everything moved.

Zach Wilde sent over a car

and I had the janitor
carry your bags down.

It's fine, I'm glad.

I got a pair of pants for you
in the men's room.

I'd have sworn
you had pants on when you left.

What's that?

That? That's ravioli.

Oh, of course.
Should have recognized it.

Didn't you
care for it?

Oh, yes.
It's very good here.

It, certainly
doesn't go with grey.

It's the busboy's pants.
Green ones.

Oh, I'm going into
the men's room now

and change into
the busboy's green pants.

And then we'll go to my place
and pick up the suit.

You haven't been
listening, dear.

Your clothes are at my place.

Oh, that's fine.

You shouldn't
have done it.

I'm sorry.

I'd have wagered
a Lily Dache hat.

There'd been another woman
at that table.

But I wasn't going to ruin
my second day of marriage

with petty jealousies.

For some reason I had pictured

Marilia living in
a one room kitchenette.

With a girlfriend
who studied music.

This place even had
an outside flunky.

Very refined.

Here we are.

He tried not
to notice my pants.

And tried not to notice his.

Well, say something.

Chic!

Umm-hmm...

Oh, chic!

That's a word
I've never used before.

But, now I know
what it means.

Ms. Brown! Ms. Brown!
Congratulations, Ms. Brown!

I'm Mrs. Hagen, Gwen.
And this is Mr. Hagen.

Mr. Hagen,
it's certainly a pleasure.

Oh, now don't worry
about his pants, Gwen.

He borrowed them.

Of course, he did.
Wouldn't you know.

Get these to the cleaners,
will you?

Sure.

And be careful, you might
find some ravioli.

Oh, here.
Put this in a place of honour

our first
wedding present.

Oh, no, it isn't.
It's the second.

What do you mean?

Look.

Oh, the coffee table.

Oh, I don't have to read it.
I know.

"You always wanted
this table

but you wouldn't marry me
to get it.

So here's with all my love.
Zachary Wilde."

Oh.. Uh!

He always wanted me
to marry him.

I figured.

Tell me, how soon can I punch
Zachary Wilde in the snoot?

What's on your mind?

Guess!

You're going to bite me
on the ear again.

Don't you like it?

It's a very strange...

...but, pleasurable sensation.

Oh, Mike...

Surprise, surprise!

Surprise!

Congratulations!

Where did you
snare the man?

This is my, my husband,
Michael Hagen.

Fred Sellers, Marie Dozier,
Dottie Reed

Florrie Canfield
and Mr. Orvac.

My husband.

Darling, may I help you?

Usually I'm a little more
presentable than this

but I was having lunch today--

That's my monkey!

It was really very amusing.

I spilled something and this
little Italian waiter--

The pig.
That's the one I got.

I figured if I put on
my new suit

maybe, I could
join the club.

I couldn't.

I guess I didn't
speak the language.

Oh, here...

Can't get a tumbler here,
unless you're gift-wrapped.

I, uh, I see you
changed your pants.

Thanks, you're the only one
who's noticed.

Must be quite a story,
some place in those pants.

Pretty dull one, I'm afraid.

You know, there's one thing I
can't stand is a surprise party.

Listen to them.

If I were you,
I'd throw them all out.

Myself, including.

Who are they?

Well, now lets see.

There's, uh, one actor,
one playwright, one composer

two actresses,
television director

and the old bag in the blue
dress is Jennifer Deane.

A designer.

The excitable type arguing
with her is Christopher Matthew

also a designer.

Known on his labels
as Mr. Chris.

I think that's about all.

Oh, yes. And one
theatrical producer.

I liked this guy right away.
Nice fellow.

Trim, distinguished.

I've been asking Marilia
to design a show for me.

You, uh, think you could
talk her into it?

Well, I can try.

Say, in all the excitement,
I missed your name.

Oh, Wilde,
Zachary Wilde.

Sure. Zachary Wilde.

I felt like taking
his coffee table

and cracking him right over
the head with it.

My idiot friends
stayed till almost 7:00.

I gave Gwen the night off

and cooked dinner with my
own lily hands.

I was jittery about Mike's
reaction to the apartment.

Wanted to balance things
with the show of domesticity.

You're, uh, loaded, huh?

Just prodigal.
This place keeps me broke.

Of course, it was
the inheritance from dad.

It's all gone, though.

Where do you come from?

Now, that's
a funny question.

Saint Louis.

Ms. Prowl of
the Saint Louis Prowls.

Well, how did you ever
hear of us?

We weren't that rich.

Oh I-I didn't..
Used to be a baseball team.

I was making a joke.

It's a shock, you know.

You marry a nice girl
out in California.

You think it might be
quite a treat for her.

You take
the little girl east...

...show her the big city...

Let her meet a few people...

And you find out she already
knows everybody in New York

and she even owns
a sizable chunk of it.

It's a shock.

Bad for the ego.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- You didn't ask.

Well, I didn't ask if you were
a second baseman either.

But, if you had been,
I'd expect you to confide in me.

No, I didn't wanna tell you.

Why should I?

I've been shopping around
for you for a long time.

I didn't wanna lose you
on a technicality.

You, live like this

just from drawing those
little pictures, designing?

Umm-hmm.
Except when men give me $700.

I make jokes, too.

You, uh,
like this place?

I always thought I did.

I hope you'd like it, too.

That's why I tricked you into
spending the night here.

And you like
designing clothes.

I love designing clothes.

It's a silly ridiculous business
and pays far too much money.

You meet silly, ridiculous
people and I love it.

Not the people,
the job.

What's more?

If you don't like this place,
well, let's get out of it.

It's just too much,
isn't it?

We'll go to your place.

Or we'll sleep in the subway.
I don't care.

Because, if you think you're
going to worm out of this

incompatibility chart

you can just start thinking
all over again.

You're not crying?

No. But, I'm considering
it very seriously.

Now, slow down.

It's not a bad place.

Some people might consider
it a very liveable place.

Throw in a couple of
rubber plants

and an autographed Yankee ball...

...you'd be surprised.

A fellow could be
very snug here.

- Oh, Mike.
- Ha ha ha.

That's okay.

Cut it out.

Everything's fine.

Compatible?

Compatible.

Umm.

Do you smell something burning?

It's just the sauce.

It's the ravioli.

For a whole month, we
were as happy as birds.

I didn't know anything
about the designing business.

And she didn't know
anything about sports.

During the day, we lived
in two separate worlds...

...about five miles apart.

And at night, we made
a world of our own.

Yeah, it was
a wonderful month.

I gained six pounds.

Oh, the fight?

Oh, I've never been to the
fights, Mike. I'd love to.

I just can't make up
my mind which one.

But the mill has
to know right now.

They're still on
the telephone, huh.

Wha... Oh, oh. I-I said
I'd love to go, Mike.

Oh, where do I meet you?

Try that over the
shoulder, will you?

What?
Oh, Gotham Arena? Fine.

Oh, Mike,
what do I wear?

What do the other
women wear to fights?

Alright, I'll
figure out something.

8:30, bye.

I see.

Alright, I'll take this one.

She's decided, hello.
Hello, she decided on 417-X.

If I could
have just one minute.

Oh Zach, please.

I got this fashion show
just staring me in the face.

I realise your problem.

I have one, too.
A musical show.

Bright, witty, modern.

At the moment highly expensive
since I'm waiting

for the designer
to make up her mind.

It's more than just my mind.

Wha-what would the stores think?

Look, I'm just an
employee here, you know.

Besides, I've never
done theatrical designing.

Yeah, that's why I want you.

You'll be fresh, different.
It needs your high style.

I don't know.

Randy is supposed to put
the numbers in work next week.

He can't move unless he has some
idea what the wardrobe will be.

Zach, I just don't know.

- I agree with her, a 100%.
- What?

- You just don't know.
- Randy!

Personally, I love Marilia.
I love her work.

But not for this, believe me.

- She's all wrong.
- Oh, really?

Designing
a musical show, my pet,

is not done over the weekend.

You just can't toss it
off over your shoulder--

- I'm not trying to toss--
- I have ideas, you know.

Very definite ideas,
and above all, any wardrobe

designed for this show has,
has got to dance.

Look, I'm not asking
to do this, you know.

Look at this beautiful,
wonderful design.

As long as she stands like this.
But can she do this?

Don't tell me it's impossible.
Nothing is impossible.

- But who said it was--
- The Bongo number.

I had no idea what I may
do with the Bongo number.

I may go completely insane.

And if I do, I want the clothes
to go completely insane with me.

I admire your honesty in
admitting you can't do it.

- I haven't admitted anything.
- We have exactly five weeks.

She couldn't learn in 5 years.

I could do it in five days.

- But will you?
- Yes, I will.

Alright,
we got what we came for.

- May we leave now?
- When can we get together?

Oh, Zach. Please give me a few
days. I got the fashion show--

It'll have to be pretty soon.

I want to have a reading of the
play for your creative minds.

How about Wednesday night
at my place?

I'll have the others there.

Zach, will you please
get him out now?

- Wednesday night.
- Yeah.

- Wednesday night.
- Randy!

You know I don't think
I'll do a Bongo number.

Did I ever tell you
the idea of a--

Oh, let's tear this up
and start all over again.

- Very expensive.
- Tear it apart, take the...

Two, three, four, five...

I'll say one thing, Marilia
was the best dressed fight fan

the seconds had ever seen.

Hi, girl.

Am I late? I'm sorry.

That Jersey print came
in at the last minute

and I had to tell him
how to cut it.

- How are you, darling?
- Fine, fine.

- Who's winning?
- Galatos, it's a slaughter.

Give it to him, attaboy.
Where did you get that thing?

Who told you that
you could fight, ya groundhog?

How are you, Mike?

Congratulations.

Thanks.

You didn't return my call.

Calls, Mr. Daylor.
About 20 of them.

I read again yesterday that I'm
a very disreputable character.

What was that phrase, uh,
"hydra-headed monster"?

"Feeding with all nine
mouths on the boxing game."

My boy at Princeton
was quite upset.

They don't appreciate
those things at Princeton.

Well, he can
switch to Harvard.

Mike, be reasonable,
I'm a family man.

I got a lot of responsibilities.

I admit I take a dollar or two
under the table

but I pay all my taxes.

- I don't kick dogs.
- Just people, huh?

Throw the bums
out of the ring.

Joey Hustik up there
shouldn't be within ten miles

of a prize ring
and you know it.

Gets his brains loosened
every time he climbs in there.

- Oh, Mike.
- But he pays you extra dues.

So you see to it
he gets plenty of action.

- He's over 21.
- He's over 41, Mr. Daylor.

Read about it tomorrow.

Mike, some day you're
gonna wake up

and find your
typewriter smashed.

Throw the referee out!

Oh, huh.
I'm Mrs. Hagen.

Mike is a little forgetful
sometimes.

Great pleasure, Mrs. Hagen.
I'm Martin Daylor.

Oh, how do you do?

Martin Daylor, I know I've
seen that name some place.

Aren't you the man Mike
has been writing about in his...

...column?

I'm the man.

I hope you enjoy
the fights, Mrs. Hagen.

Thank you.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Well, how would I know?

He certainly doesn't
look like a crook.

I'd never take
him for a crook.

How many crooks
have you known?

New side of Mike.
Man in a huff.

He didn't wanna talk so,
I had to watch the fight, too.

It was awful.

One of the man, the older one,
was being punched constantly.

You know, you wouldn't think
they can hit so much with those

heavy gloves on?

The gloves are to
protect their hands.

Mike, sarcasm
doesn't become you.

No, no. It's true the gloves
are to protect their hands.

Alright, if that's what
you want it to be.

I don't think
I like fights.

- A lot of people do.
- Not all of them.

- To some it's very boring.
- Boring?

Look at those people over there,
they're reading newspaper.

Give it to him.

No, no, they're not reading.

They're holding that way
in case the blood splatters.

That was all I needed.

Aah!

Oh Mike, take me out.

- Are you okay?
- Oh, uh, I'm fine.

- I'm sorry, Mike.
- Oh, that's alright.

Come summer, I'll take
you to the tennis match.

- Mike boy.
- Oh, not now, Charlie.

Mike, uh, I got little
something for you.

Got a little slice of
information for you.

- Tomorrow.
- It's a very warm slice, Mike.

I could let you have,
uh, Ulysses S. Grant.

I haven't got a Ulysses--

Ah, two Andrew Jacksons
might do the trick.

- No.
- I got the shorts real bad.

- No.
- How about a Lincoln?

- Not even a Lincoln?
- Charlie, will you--

Alright. I'm desperate.
Three Washingtons.

Here, here.
Now, go away please.

Don't you even
want the hot slice?

No, thanks, Charlie.
Thanks a lot.

Ah, Mike.
You're a people.

- Who's he, Mike?
- Him? Oh, that's Charlie Arneg.

He's also known as
Charlie "The Sneak".

- He peddles information.
- What kind of information?

Any kind.
Charlie's not fussy.

What was all that talk about?

About the Ulysses S. Grant
and Andrew Jackson.

- Ulysses S. Grant is $50 bill.
- Oh, it is?

Yeah, because it's got
Grant's picture on it.

Andrew Jackson's a 20.

- Lincoln is a five.
- And Washington's a one.

Very interesting.
Why does he do it?

Uh, he's trying to get
into a Damon Runyon story.

Who knows.

Oh, look, Mike.
You're working, go on.

Why don't you go on back?
I'll wait right here.

- Oh, no, no, I'm not--.
- Oh please, I'll be fine.

I'm really perfectly fine.
Now, you go on.

Uh, okay.

I'll come back to see
you between fights, hmm?

- Hey, Mike, Mike.
- Hey, Larry boy.

What's the matter.
You're quittin' us?

No, uh, my place
next week, okay?

Okay.

Oh, that's Larry Musso.
You'll meet him.

I invited the regular crowd
up for poker next Wednesday.

Oh, Wednesday?

Yeah, anything wrong with that?

Oh, no, that's-that's fine.
Just fine.

The show crowd was
coming that night, too.

It started out a bad evening
and worsened steadily.

Play cards. Play cards.

- What are they doing in there?
- Reading a play.

Yeah, who's reading it,
Jack Benny?

Ronnie appears at
the top of the steps

Aunt Agatha,
she's done it again.

- Boy, this is one I got to see.
- Play cards.

This is where I want
to do the undersea ballet.

You can't do
an undersea ballet, here.

- Why not?
- Why not?

Because you're still
in the drawing room set.

It has doors, hasn't it?

- Well, yes, but--
- That's all we need.

Behind closed doors
anything can happen.

It's the basis of all my work.

The entrance of the unexpected.

A closed door.

When this door opens,
anything can come through.

Qua di dum da doo.

Sea horses.

I'll get the sandwiches.

Aces.

How's the game going, dear?

Yeah, yeah.

Did you want something?

Well, yeah. The-the-the food,
if it's ready.

I-I'm sure it is.

- Everybody ante?
- I'm in.

I'll get it.
You go and play, dear.

Fred deals the cards.

Mike Hagen live here?
The poker game.

Mike Hagen?
Well, yes.

Thank you.
My name's Maxie Stultz.

- I'm his best friend.
- Oh, yes, umm, Mike.

- You Mrs. Hagen, lady?
- Yes--

Then I'll tell you somethin'.
Don't worry, you know?

Any time anybody make trouble,
you tell Maxie Stultz.

I take care of him good, right?

So you got nothin'
to worry about.

Nothin', right?
Where's the game?

In there.

- Hello, boys.
- Hi, Maxie.

How you been?
Glad you could make it.

I feel pretty good, Mr. Hagen.

I'm makin' a comeback, you know.

You're the boy
that can do it, Maxie.

And Solly Horzmann's gonna
manage me, right, Solly?

Sure, like I told you.
Sit down, Maxie.

- Uh, deal me in.
- Okay.

- Who-who is he?
- Who?

The.. That man with no nose.

Oh, he has a nose. It's inside.

- But who is he?
- Oh, that's, uh, Maxie Stultz.

He used to be middleweight
champ. He's a little punchy.

- What?
- Punchy. Punch-drunk.

We let him sit in for a couple
of hands every Wednesday night.

We make sure he wins.
It takes care of his room rent.

Well, tha-that's very sweet, but

he's not going
to hit anybody, is he?

Why would he wanna hit anybody?

Well, I don't know,
he-he kept telling me

not to worry
if there's any trouble.

And I don't know
what not to worry about.

- What is it?
- Nothing.

I told you he's punchy.

- Just forget it, will you?
- I'll try.

- Nice work, Maxie. Nice work.
- How about that?

He wins on a pair of nines.

Yeah, nice, that's
a pretty good hand, right?

They don't come
any better, Maxie.

- We put you in for $5, Mike.
- Fine, fine, fine.

After this I better
get going 'cause

I got to do some
roadwork in the morning.

No, no, Maxie
one more hand, come on.

There are two possibilities...

Mike, can I see you
for a minute?

- Yeah, sure.
- Play cards!

Sorry, Mike, but where
would you like to eat? In here?

Sure, sure, any place.
What's that?

Mike, it's one of
Gwen's creations.

A poker loaf, she calls it.

Yeah, but, I-I asked for bologna

and cheese and stuff, you know?

Well, it's all cheese and
there's bologna in the middle.

Okay.

They don't seem to be going.

Why-why don't
we just take the food

and the poker table
and move them into the study.

Then you won't
be disturbed, alright?

Oh, that's fine.

Alright, give me a hand here

we're gonna move in there.

What for?

Come on, just pick
up your stuff.

Oh, cream cheese and olives.

Hey, you know, I tried
one of those once.

Gave me gas.

You know, I was reading
an article the other day

where you can buy these
cutter kind of things

for card parties
and you can make sandwiches

in the shape of clubs,
hearts, and spades.

- Diamonds too?
- Oh, absolutely.

You take this thing
and you put--

If you don't like it,
don't eat it, in there.

Oh, oh, I'm-I'm sorry.

These people here,
they friends of Mike Hagen?

Why, yes, of course.

Nobody's gonna make trouble?
I don't have to...

Oh, no, they're
close friends. Very close.

That's good, 'cause I don't
like trouble, you know.

Every time
there's trouble, my head...

I don't like it.

Well, there's never
any trouble around here. Never.

Good, just put it over
there by the table.

That's right. Thanks.

I had one fight
too many, you know.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I-I was fighting
Tony Bleney and, uh-uh...

You see that eye?

I got 16 stitches in that eye.

In the eighth round,
Tony opened it up

and the blood came pouring
down and I couldn't see.

And then in the tenth,
he opened up the other eye

and the blood came pouring down
and I couldn't see at all.

- Well, what's the matter?
- Nothing. Excuse me.

It's enough of that one.
Let's try this.

Come on, let's get going.

Okay, you take a chair,
I'll take the glasses.

- What?
- Nothing!

Maybe I'll be luckier in here.

I meant, I don't want
to move furniture.

I came here to play cards.

Hey, hey, hey!

By 12 o'clock
everyone had gone.

I had a feeling
there might be words

but I decided firmly they
would not originate with me.

Well, well. Six Washingtons.

What's that for?

Sandwiches. We split
the expenses every week.

Oh, well, if you play at
a different house every week

why don't you just let the host
take care of the sandwiches?

It would all even up in the end.

We do it this way
because we like it this way.

Yes, there were going
to be words, alright.

It'll be done the same way
six weeks from tonight

when the game
comes around here again.

So, in six weeks I thought

I'll have
the pleasure of meeting

that man with no nose again.

I was going to say so,
but repressed myself quickly.

So, in six weeks,
I'll have the pleasure

of meeting that man
with no nose again.

What's the matter?

You, uh, have something
against Maxie Stultz?

Of course not.

He's a poor, unfortunate,
punchy-drunk man.

And-and-and I feel
very sorry for him.

But you could do much
better by sending him

to a good psychiatrist.

I don't know
a good psychiatrist

but if I did,
I might visit him myself

after this evening.

So, it's out in the open, is it?

You don't like my friends.

Oh, well, I'm not bowled over.

Oh, that's strange.
They're so much like yours.

Oh, we're back on Maxie again.

- I never mentioned--
- Well, I'll tell you one thing.

Nose or no nose,
he's more of a man

than that-that
Randy Owen who does-who does..

Hello, Randy.

Did you forget something?

My script.

I'll get it.

This is a picture of my wife
and my three sons.

They're a little bigger now.
The oldest is about six feet.

He plays football up in Maine.

I'd be happy to have you
meet them sometime.

And some other time,
if you'd like

I'd be happy to beat
both your ears off.

Easy, easy,
don't lose your head.

- Right now, if you'd like.
- Randy.

- Randy, here's your script.
- Good night, Marilia.

Good night.

Is he for real?

- Did he mean that?
- I guess so.

He's, uh, something
of a character, Randy.

Character.

Why, he's punchier
than Maxie Stultz.

I wish Marilia hadn't decided

to make me her confidant.

It's a thankless role at best.

But when you're cast
in it opposite a girl

you once asked
to become your wife...

...why, it's
downright embarrassing.

- Do you like Mike?
- Hmm?

- Do you like Mike?
- Certainly I do.

I don't know him very well

but he seems
an intelligent man.

Fairly easy temperament.

Darn good writer too

I've been reading
his stuff for years.

Of course, I like him,
why do you ask?

- He hates you.
- Oh.

Oh, it's not just you
of course, it's all my friends.

So you know what?

You're not coming up
to my place anymore.

Oh.

Well, after all, we're
a pretty neurotic bunch.

Mike doesn't understand us.

Until he gets used to us,
I'm going to keep

all of you away from him.

- Protect him from our neuroses.
- That's right.

And Mike's not going to bring

some of his friends
around, either.

Neuroticism doesn't
seem to be confined

to the artistic class.

I'm relieved to hear that.

- Yes?
- Miss Shannon is here.

Oh, ask her to come in.

This might be our leading lady.

I want you to meet her.

- Hello, Mr. Wilde.
- How are you?

- Fine, thanks.
- Marilia Brown. Lori Shannon.

Hello.

How do you do, Miss Brown?

Uh, have you two met?

I'm sure we have, haven't we?

I was just trying to think.

Well, anyway, you'll
be a pleasure to dress.

- You have a lovely figure.
- Why, thank you.

I'm a-a trifle long-waisted.

Oh, nothing we can't
take care of.

Luckily you're tiny in the hips
and your bust is perfect.

Yeah, well...

Well, Zach, I've got to run.

I have got a 100 things to do
before my fashion show.

It's been very nice.

Congratulations on
getting the part.

Oh, I don't think I have yet.

Oh, you will. Zach,
you've got to. She's perfect.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

I didn't know Marilia Brown
was designing your show.

Oh, yes, we're very
lucky to get her.

Oh, yes.

Don't ask me why I went to

Marilla's fashion show
that afternoon.

I must have been
out of my head.

You ever been
to a fashion show?

It's a sort of pagan ritual.

A ceremonial dance

where the faithful sit around

sipping tea
and worshipping clothes.

There's a sacrifice
involved, too.

Fifteen hundred dollars.

Fifteen hundred dollars
for a dress.

Three hundred and fifty
for a nightie, so help me.

The high priestess at this
slaughter was my Marilia.

Oh, Mike, you came.

Oh, Mike, come on,
I want to introduce you.

- Oh, no, no, I'd rather--
- Alright, alright.

We'll be exclusive.

Eight hundred and fifty dollars.

- What made you come?
- Oh, I don't know.

L-I was working
and suddenly I had this hunch.

A real hot flash,
go to the Delsette store.

- Oh, Mike.
- No, I mean it.

It happens to me
like that sometimes.

Quick hunches.

A feeling that something nice
is about to happen.

Well, look at that!

Oh, Zach, here.

That's Lori Shannon,
she's in the show.

- Miss Shannon.
- Hello.

- Marilia, did we miss anything?
- No, you're just on time.

- How are you, Mike?
- Hello, Zach.

Oh, Miss Shannon, this is
my husband, Michael Hagen.

Uh, how do you do, Mr. Hagen?
It's so nice to meet you.

- Won't you sit down here?
- Thank you.

Uh, the chairs
aren't very practical.

Oh, Miss Shannon,
I wanted you to see this.

Oh, how beautiful.

Lori was going to play it
like we'd never met.

Good.

I sneaked a look
at Marilia to see

if she'd noticed anything.

Everything was okay.

"So," I thought,
"He knows her."

I'm not naturally suspicious,
but this you couldn't miss.

I see something like that for
you in the garden number.

But slit up the sides
for more freedom in dance.

- Don't you think so, Zach?
- Yes.

Uh, by the way, Miss Shannon,
how are your legs?

Well, no complaints.

Oh, I was sure
there wouldn't be.

I do think we ought
to see your legs in this.

Uh, but not quite so
revealing in the neckline.

Although you've certainly got
nothing to worry about there.

Are you alright, darling?

I began to put
two and two together.

It didn't take long.

Two, the girl Mike feared

was about to spill
tea in his lap

and two, the girl who had spilled ravioli

in his lap were
one and the same spiller.

Total, four.

I still couldn't place
where I'd seen Lori Shannon.

How would you like
to see her dressed?

In splints!

Hello, Mr. Hagen.

Do you remember me?

Yeah, you're Johnny O,
aren't you?

That's right, yeah.

I used to fight heavyweight.

Come in.

Hey!

Nice place you
got here, Mr. Hagen.

Yeah.

Anybody home?

Just the maid.

It's Thursday,
Mr. Hagen, she's off.

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Daylor told us to drop in.

He's angry at you, Mr. Hagen

for goin' on
writin' those stories

about him after
he asked you not to.

Uh-huh.

Now, what we're
here for is not to hurt you

or anything like that, it's, uh

it's more like a warning.

Yeah, friendly like, you know.

Leave him go.

Now, what I would
suggest, Mr. Hagen

is maybe from now on

you get after
the basketball boys

and the wrestlin'
and the horses.

They could stand
a lot of cleanin' up.

But you leave
the fights alone or

they gotta clean you up.

I make myself clear?

I'll have that
laundered for you.

Oh, no, nothing at all.

Well, it was nice seeing you
again, Mr. Hagen.

I just hope we don't
have to meet no more.

Oh, I didn't know
you had friends.

This is Mr. Johnny O.
My wife.

- How do you do?
- Nick and Eddie.

- How do you do?
- Hello.

- What happened to your lip?
- Oh.

Uh, uh, just an accident.

Johnny O here was showing me

how he knocked out
Bob Fitzsimmons.

Well, boys,
I hate to push you out.

Oh, sure, sure, we was
just going, Mr. Hagen.

- This way, boys.
- Mrs. Hagen.

Bye, Mr. O.

So long, Mr. Hagen.

Nice of you boys to come by.

Uh, Mr. Hagen, remember.

No more articles
about Mr. Daylor, huh.

Is your lip alright?

It's fine.

People should be more careful.

He might have hurt you.

Not Johnny O.

Well, how did the rehearsal go?

- I came home.
- Oh?

Listen, Mike, there's something
on my mind about us.

Uh, about me really because
it happened before I met you.

But I don't believe
in keeping things secret.

Before I met you
there was a man.

- Oh, Zachary Wilde.
- Another man.

- Oh, the boy from Yale.
- Oh, he was nothing.

Neither was that artist
I told you about.

I mean, another man.

Not that there was
anything really wrong.

Oh, I'm sure of that.

But I wanted
to tell you anyway.

It's been on my mind.

And I believe in being frank

and above board.

If there's one thing
I've learned in this world

it's the exact moment
when not to be frank

and above board.

Okay, dear.

- What's for dinner?
- Lori Shannon!

For dinner?

You know what I'm talking about.

All that elaborate pretending.

"How do you do, Miss Shannon?
How do you do, Mr. Hagen?

So nice to meet you."
I introduced you.

You let me introduce you
and all the time--

Now, wait, just a minute,
I didn't even know--

Why didn't you
tell me about her?

- What's the big secret?
- I don't know, what-what--

No! You didn't say a word.
"How do you do..

What are you talking about?

You let me find out
for myself while everybody knows

and is laughing behind my back.

- You're not making sense.
- I'm making excellent sense.

Lori Shannon.
She's the girl in your show.

That we already know.

What else is she
or was she, or is she?

Lori Shannon.
Are you out of your mind?

- The picture.
- Wha-wha-what picture?

The picture in your apartment.

I recognized her
from that picture.

- Lori Shannon?
- Who else are we talking about?

- In my apartment?
- In your apartment!

Whe-whe-where's the picture?
Show me the picture.

- I tore it up.
- You tore...

Oh-oh-oh!

Well, you know
in a law court--

No, we're not
in a law court yet.

Just because you happen
to find a picture of a gi...

You found a picture
of a girl in my apartment?

Not a girl. Lori Shannon.

You knew her.
Why didn't you say so?

Lori Shannon.

Listen, that day
at the-the-that style show

she walked in, right?

I never saw her in my life.

If she knew me,
why didn't she say so?

Now who's not making sense?

If you'd listen
a second, just because

you happened
to find a picture...

Oh!

I'm sorry.

How is it that you cannot stand

the sight of blood
on anyone except me?

Mi.. Mike!

Mike, I want to talk to you.

Mike, I wanna...

Excuse me,
I'm due at the office.

We've got to settle this.

Listen, Mike,
I want to talk to you, just...

Well, that settles it.
Forget all about Mart Daylor.

- Forget him?
- Forget him.

You're a lousy
newspaperman, but you're

not worth a nickel
to me lying stiff in some alley.

Now, wait a minute. I've been
after Daylor for two years.

All I need is a couple
of weeks to finish the job.

Three, at the outside.
I've got affidavits coming in.

Alright.
You want to dig your own grave?

I'll lend you a shovel.
Only on my terms.

I'll give you three weeks,
not a day more.

We'll find you
some place to hide.

The Gage Hotel
around the corner.

We'll date line your
stories from out of town.

You're following
the Yankees on the road.

Only you won't be there

so the bully boys
can't catch up to you.

Meanwhile, lay it on Daylor
with everything you got.

And also, meanwhile,
you're not to set one foot

out of that hotel room
for three weeks.

- Agreed?
- What will I tell my wife?

Tell her the truth.

What, that I'm on
the lam from the mob?

The first thing
she'll do is faint.

And don't tell me your problems.

I'm no marriage counsellor.

Now, go on.
Get out of here and get packed.

I'll send a copy boy over
every day to pick up your stuff.

And don't answer
the phone no matter what.

Well, one more thing,
you'll need

somebody around for protection.

Is Maxie-Maxie Stultz
been around?

- Oh, he is. Fine. Send him in.
- Maxie?

Three weeks with Maxie Stultz,
I'll be punchier than he is.

- No!
- Shut up!

- Maxie, come in here.
- Hi, Mike.

Maxie.

Maxie, Maxie.

Maxie, Maxie, listen carefully.

There are some mugs in town

that don't like Mike Hagen.

They want to hurt him. See?

There. That's the ticket, Maxie.

That's the ticket.
You protect him, see?

You protect... Maxie, Maxie,
Maxie, Maxie, listen!

You stay right

next to Mike Hagen.

Day and night.

No matter where he goes.

Do you get it, Maxie?

That's the ticket.
Now, get him out of here.

Maxie, for the love of...

Maxie.

Maxie, will you let go
just for a minute, please?

Till I get some circulation?
Thank you.

I going to
protect you, huh, Mr. Hagen?

I stay with you
every minute, right?

- Right.
- Anybody looks cross-eyed.

- Right?
- Right.

Anybody looks cross-eyed.

Anybody. Right?

- Right?
- Right!

- You looking cross-eyed?
- Maxie, no.

He lookin' cross-eyed.

Well, uh,
he always looks like that.

He lost a horse.
It affected his mind.

Mike, I've been
trying to reach...

Oh!

- I believe you've met Maxie.
- Of course.

- How are you, Mr. Maxie?
- I'm makin' a comeback.

Oh.

Maxie came up
from the office with me.

How nice.

Now, look, uh...

...you're gonna
think this is pretty strange

coming right at this time but I
have to leave for a while.

- Leave where?
- Here.

Well, I don't think
that's strange at all.

Where are you going,
to the club?

No, I'm not going to the club.
I don't belong to a club.

Something has come up.

Something...very important.

I don't want you
to be upset, but...

Well, you see, I'd like...

Maxie, will you stand
over there for a minute?

Please? Thank you.

I'd like to take you
into my confidence.

- May I do that?
- That would be a novelty.

Please, let's not
assume attitudes.

As far as that
matter is concerned

I don't even want to discuss it.

This other thing
is too important.

- Can you keep a secret?
- Not as well as you can.

Okay. Excuse me,
I've got to pack.

Excuse me, lady, got to pack.

I still don't know
where you're going.

Chicago. Then on the road.

For how long?

Three weeks.

I'm gonna follow the Yankees.

Is that the big secret?

You-you're going
to follow the Yankees?

Yeah, they shouldn't
know about it.

Mike...

Mike, can I talk
to you alone, please?

- Well, what about?
- You know what about.

I-I want to sit...

- How have you been, Mr. Maxie?
- He's been fine.

I was conversing with Mr. Maxie.

Mr. Maxie doesn't know
what you're talking about.

You're packing
a shoe with a hole in it.

You only wear these
when you're writing.

I'll be doing
some writing on the road.

Maxie, please.

It was pretty obvious,
this sudden trip.

And bringing Mr. Maxie home
so he wouldn't have to talk.

I decided to pump Mr. Maxie.

Well, Mr. Maxie.

Are you taking
Mike to the plane?

That's right. Every place.

Oh, then you're
not going with him.

That's right. Every place.

Well, then you'll be
following the Yankees, too?

- Who?
- You.

You and Mike.

That's right.
Every second, day and night.

Anybody looks cross-eyed.

- Who?
- Cross-eyed.

Shut up, Maxie.

I'll call you tomorrow,
as soon as I know what hotel.

Let's go, Maxie.

Well, so long, Marilia.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

I hope you two
will be very happy.

Thank you very much.

Mr. Higginsbury and Mr...

Mr. Smith.

How do you spell "Smith"?

Make a cross. Keys, please.

Okay.

Suite 4-0-6.

How do you do, miss?

I'll be placing a couple of
local calls now and then

but I'd like the party
to think I'm out of town.

So you say
that Chicago is calling

or Kansas City
or whatever I tell you.

- Understand?
- No.

That make it any clearer?

- Yes.
- Good.

My first night away from
Marilia since we were married.

I couldn't sleep.

Four times
I picked up the phone

to make a clean breast
of everything

and four times
saner judgment prevailed.

Here I was, happily married

to the loveliest
creature in New York.

And here I was,
shacked up in a hotel

with a punchy ex-middleweight.

I began to hate
Ned Hammerstein.

Maxie Stultz was no cure
for the blues either.

3 o'clock in the morning
and all he did

was stare at the ceiling.

Suddenly, I remembered

He'd been staring
like that since 11:30.

I realized it then.

Maxie had died!

Maxie.

Maxie!

Okay, Maxie. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay, Maxie.

Stop!

Where-who? Where-who?
Cross-eyed?

It's alright, boy.
It's okay.

Nothing.
Forget it.

Forget it.
Alright.

Circle seven,
o-five-nine-eight.

- Hello?
- Ned?

Yeah? Oh, Mike.

I just wanted to tell you.

Maxie Stultz
sleeps with his eyes open.

Why, you crumb!
You thieving no good--

What was that?

Maxie Stultz
sleeps with his eyes open.

Thanks
for a civil answer.

Our first night apart.

I didn't know
a person could be so miserable.

By 3:00 a.m., I had convinced
myself that Mike was innocent.

After all, maybe he had never
known Lori Shannon.

Maybe the whole thing
was a mistake.

That's what it was,
a horrible mistake.

Only what about
the photograph?

Alright, what about
the photograph?

A man can have
a picture of a woman

without knowing her,
can't he?

No...and put it this way,

Mike's a newspaper man,
he meets all kinds of people

He could have met Miss Shannon
in a purely business fashion.

Purely business.

Sure, but Miss Shannon
is no hockey player.

Oh, shut up.

My mind began drawing
nasty little pictures

of Mike and Lori Shannon.

I saw them laughing together
at some restaurant.

I saw them out dancing.

I saw him bringing her home.

I saw him take her
into the living room.

I saw him kiss her.

I saw him...

♪♪ But when you've got love
you're high ♪♪

♪♪ And your song
is a gay refrain ♪♪

♪♪ A happy strain that ♪♪

♪♪ Sings out the news ♪♪

♪♪ Don't let the night
go to waste ♪♪

♪♪ Looking for ways
to say I love you ♪♪

♪♪ Take your cue
from the birds ♪♪

What would happen
if I quit the show?

I'd shoot myself.

Now, listen, Madame X,
as I understand it

your Michael has departed
for Chicago

firmly protesting
his innocence.

What does that prove?
Nothing.

♪♪ Music is better ♪♪

♪♪ Than love ♪♪

Not bad, sweetie,
you go to your room

and I'll clean it up.

All four of the parts
right over here.

Take it from just before
the circle.

What have you proved?
Also nothing.

I admit
I could be wrong.

I just can't stand
not knowing

and I certainly
can't ask her.

"Pardon me, Miss Shannon,
but was my husband

ever in love with you?"

It's unthinkable.

Hm, definitely.

So I have an idea.

- What?
- You ask her.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, Zach, you can do it.

All you have to do
is broach the subject

as tastefully as possible.

Find out if she ever knew him
and then...tell me about it.

Marilia, deceit
and collusion

are completely out of tune
with your character.

I know it,
but please, Zach

I can't go on
working like this.

I'll speak to her
right away.

Thank you.

Yes?

Oh, come in, Mr. Wilde.

Am I disturbing you?

Oh, not at all.

- May I?
- Oh, by all means.

Miss Shannon,
this is a rather...

...rather delicate matter.

You see,
I-I hate to intrude

but... Er, uh, playful
little fellow, isn't he?

Pierro!
I'm so sorry.

- That's alright.
- Come along now.

Over here,
you're a naughty dog.

Alright, now, sit.

That's a good boy.

Miss Shannon, I'm usually
a man of quite a few words

but I'll tr-try and make this
as brief and tactful

as possible.

Yes.

What I have to ask has nothing
whatsoever to do with this show

or our future
business relationship

I want you
to understand that.

Yes.

Miss Shannon,
I'd like to know

and please answer
very frankly

if I may feel free
to call on you

at your apartment,
and take you to dinner

as often as the...spirit
moves us both.

In time, as you learn
to know me better

I hope our friendship
will ripen into something...

...shall we say
more...neighbourly.

But you don't
have to answer now.

I'd be delighted.

8:30 tonight?

Mm-hmm.

- Well?
- I asked her point blank.

Miss Shannon never laid eyes
on your husband

until that day
at the fashion show.

Feel better?

Is this Mrs. Hagen?

Just a moment, please.
Chicago calling.

Hello, Marilia?
This is Mike.

What do you mean, where am I?
I told you I'm in Chicago.

What?
What hotel?

Uh, well, we're,
we're at the Whitestone

but we're leaving
here tonight.

Well, why can't you
talk now? Who's there?

Oh, Zachary.
Yeah, Zachary, sure.

Hmm?

Oh...oh, the whole crowd.
You're working.

Hm.
Well, uh...

Weather?
Uh, the weather here?

Uh, well, it's-it's,
uh, you know...

...it's, uh...
H-hello, Marilia!

Marilia?
I can't hear you.

Uh...hello?
Hello, Marilia.

Yeah...I can hear you now.

It's hot here,
Ninety-two.

Well, I guess that's about all
if you're busy.

I just wanted to say hello.

Oh, okay.

Well...I'll call you again
in a couple of days.

'Bye.

I don't like Chicago.

I got a bad decision
here once.

It's alright, Maxie.
You go to sleep.

Open your eyes
and go to sleep.

I'm in Boston.

We just got in.
Cleveland.

Kansas City.

Hey, Mike,
I just read your stuff.

It's great.

Keep your nose
off the street

and you may win
the Pulitzer prize.

Stick it out and Daylor
will bite it off

Your job
is to find Mike Hagen.

Who have you got
working on it

a troupe of clowns?

Clowns?

In Chicago
was Joey Golner.

This is not
a good guy, eh?

In Boston,
it was three boys

with Louey Gasto,
merely the best.

- In Kansas City--
- Never mind the excuses!

Just give us some action,
Milt, action!

You're wasting
your time, Milt.

You're looking
all over the place

and your eyes
are in the way.

Hagen's not out of town,
he's right here.

In New York?

What makes you think?

I'm guessing.

And I'm guessing right.

He's holed up somewhere
right under our noses.

Trick is to bring him out
in the open.

Any ideas?

I think so.

Johnny, round up
a couple of boys

and be in my office
tonight.

Let's go.

Oh, and, Johnny...

...I want real good boys.

Playtime is over.

Hello, honey, will you
call that number again for me?

I'm in, uh, Detroit.

Oh, it's a nice town, Maxie.
Lots of automobiles

you'll love it.

Hello, Marilia?
How are you.

This is Gwen, Mr. Hagen.

Mrs. Hagen isn't here.

Oh, uh...
Uh, when will she be back?

I don't know,
she didn't say.

Uh, you know where she went?

No, I don't know
where she went.

I'm here, Mike, I just
don't want to talk, goodbye.

Now, wait a minute,
what's going on?

I'm packing,
that's what's going on.

Packing?

Um, where are you going?

Boston.
The show's opening there

tomorrow night.

Yeah, yeah, the show.

You wouldn't happen
to be going to Boston tomorrow

by any chance?

No, no, I wouldn't be.

I was sure you wouldn't.
Goodbye.

Marilia, will you stop!

What's the matter?

Oh, it's funny
you should ask that.

Oh, why should anything
be the matter?

Of course, I don't eat
and I don't sleep

but...oh, but outside of that
everything's dandy.

Marilia,
would you listen, please?

If you're still worried
about that Lori Shannon business

you've got the whole thing
all wrong.

I wouldn't have cared if only
you'd told me!

"How do you do, Miss Sha.."

Alright,
I've had enough of this!

I'll ask her myself.

Alright, Marilia.
You do that.

I want you to.

And I will. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

This ain't Detroit.

Looks more like Chicago.

Hey, Mr. Hagen,
you punchy?

I'm gonna do my best.

I had three quick ones

Which did me
no good at all.

But strangely enough
after the fourth

I found the solution
to the whole problem.

I would see Lori that night
and fix up a story.

Liquor, I have found,
makes me very smart.

First, of course,
I had to get rid of Maxie.

Boy, am I beat.
Let's hit the hay, Maxie.

Sleep.

I was packing for Boston
when the bell rang.

"It couldn't be",
I thought. But it was.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I, uh...I came up the stairs.

I didn't want the elevator boy...

Have you...got a drink?

Thanks.

Not now, boy.

Guess you're sort of surprised
to see me.

- Mind if I sit down?
- Please do.

What I came about...

Alright, boy,
that's enough.

I came really because...

Will you stop?

Lori, There's something
of the utmost importance

I have to discuss with you.

Not only...

This dog has very bad habits.

There was a time
when you thought it was funny.

Yeah, well...

...my sense of humor
has changed.

I...thought you were
out of town.

Yeah, a lot of people
think so.

Including your old friend,
Mart Daylor?

I've been reading your column.

Where are you hiding out?

The Gage Hotel.
For three weeks.

- Your wife must be delighted.
- Well, she doesn't know.

I didn't tell her.
She thinks that I...

Well, it's a big megillah.

How bad it is?

How's Marilia
been acting lately toward you?

Hm...about the same.

What does that mean?

I think she's getting ready
to slug me.

That's why I'm here.

You see, Marilia found
a picture of you.

And she thinks that...

Well, you know
what she thinks.

Anyway, she's gonna ask you
about us.

So...I've got a story
all worked out.

This could be interesting.
How does it open?

Well...

...you're a girl
from Wisconsin.

Up to there
it's very logical.

Now, a friend of mine
in Wisconsin

a halfback
on the Green Bay Packers

- He--
- What's that?

It's a football team.

He sent me
a picture of you.

Asked me to use my influence
to get you a job.

You know, radio, TV,
anything.

Alright...

...you came
to my office...once.

I told you
that I was sorry

that there was nothing
that I could do for you.

And that was the end
of the whole affair.

But...I forgot
to throw out the picture.

And that's how
Marilia happened to find it.

- Well?
- I don't believe it.

Well, I don't expect
you to believe it.

All I want is
Marilia to believe it.

She won't believe it either.

Why?

Well, I read something like it
once in a comic strip.

Even there
they didn't believe it.

Hello?

Yes?

Oh, um...ye..
Hello, Mrs. Brown.

Uh, where?

W-why-why,
of course.

Well, yes,
I-I was in bed.

But that's perfectly al--

Well, um, could you just
give me a few minutes?

Yes, al-alright.

What? What? What?

She's in the lobby.
She went out without her purse

and she wants to borrow
cab fare.

You mean
she's coming up?

Why didn't you stop her?

How? Tell her
I didn't have a dollar?

She doesn't want a dollar.
She wants to find out...

I'll go down the stairs.

Fine,
if you run into her tell her

about the Green Bay Packers.

Well, in here.

Listen, that story,
it'll work, I know it.

Just-just
get your facts straight.

Uh-uh, the-that fellow,
he's uh, err...

Nordley was his name,
Frank Nordley.

He's-he's a friend of yours.

The Green Bay Packers, j-just--

I've played this scene
before, I thought.

In a blackout
on the borscht circuit.

- Hello!
- Oh!

Oh, what a sweet dog.

Ah, this is the silliest thing.

- I-I'm terribly sorry.
- Oh, that's alright

We were all working
at Zach's tonight

and...I decided the air
would do me good...

...so I walked till
I almost fell down

and there I was, no purse.

I-I hope you weren't asleep.

Oh, no.

Oh, my!
What a lovely place you have.

Did you do it yourself?

Well, yes, it's about--

Oh, I love your drapes.

Oh, what a beautiful chest.

Could I get you a drink?

Oh, no, thanks.
I will have a cigarette though.

- Just there.
- Oh, thank you.

I'll, uh, get my purse.

Some day I'm going to design
a purse you can't forget.

It'll have a little bell or
something that tinkles madly

whenever you leave it behind.

Good idea.

Will, uh, five dollars
be enough?

Oh, heavens, yes,
it's only a mile or so.

Thank you.

Do you know,
I have a real phobia

about taxi drivers.

I could've gone
to the apartment

and asked him to wait.

But whenever I do that,
I'm always afraid

they'll think I'm trying
to cheat them or something.

Do you have
a fear like tha...

I could say
I didn't know I had it

but I'm a very bad liar,
Miss Shannon.

I suppose you've noticed that.

Maybe you just haven't had
enough practice.

I came here tonight
for a very definite reason.

To ask you a question.

At the moment I feel
like a fool so I've decided

not to ask it tonight or ever.
I hope you'll forgive me.

- Of course.
- Thank you.

I must say, you've been very
understanding about this.

I really do appreciate it.

Furthermore,
I'd like to apologize

for the way
I've been acting lately.

Oh, I don't think
I've been aware of anything.

Really?

Surely you must have noticed
that twice during the last week

while pinning material on you
I've jabbed you in the derriere.

- Oh, that...
- I did it purposely.

Really?

Well, anyway, I'm...I'm sorry
and-and it won't happen again.

I had the silly idea I was
supposed to be jealous of you.

Thank heaven
I've come to my senses.

Please try to forget
I ever came here tonight.

Marilia,
what are you doing here?

Marilia!

Marilia!

There's no explanation
for what you did to me.

I don't even want
to listen to you.

- Come back here now.
- Taxi! Taxi!

You're jumping to the wrong
conclusions, altogether.

- Ooh, taxi!
- You don't want a taxi.

Oh! Don't you even touch me.
You take your hands off me!

You mustn't be deceived
by appearances.

Appearances
are very deceiving.

- I don't want to hear why.
- I was up there.

Yes, but why?

- Taxi! Taxi!
- Will you listen to me?

Just for once in your life,
will you listen to me?

- Marilia!
- Taxi!

- Listen, now you listen--
- Oh, take your hands off me!

When you said you were going
to ask Lori Shannon about us

I just dropped over
to see her.

- From Detroit?
- I haven't been in Detroit.

I-I've been in a hotel
for two weeks.

Right here.
Hiding out.

That's right,
hiding out!

Have you been drinking?

Of course.
A hotel drinker.

- Oh, no! Wait.
- That's the way I met you.

And that's the way
I'm leaving you.

- Taxi! Taxi!
- Just a minute, come back.

Oh, will you let me go?
I told you I hate that.

Don't get in that cab,
Marilia!

Don't you dri... Don't you
drive that cab away

I'm telling you.
Don't drive it away.

Stop! Stop, I say!

Come back, Marilia!

Marilia? Marilia!

Look, officer, I've got
plenty of trouble tonight

I don't need any from you.

I'm a fighter, you know

and a fighter
needs lots of sleep.

So I'm sleeping in the bed

and I'm dreaming
like, you know.

But all of a sudden I wake up.

I look around.

I look in the bed
for Mr. Hagen.

But he ain't there,
so I don't see him.

So I think maybe
he's in the parlor.

So...so I go
in the parlor.

I look all around good,
but I don't find him.

"Boy", I

Boy..

So I think maybe

he go downstairs.

So I go down the stairs
to the lobby, like.

And I don't find him no place.

"Holy smoke", I say.

Holy smoke.

Eh, uh, ain't you
Maxie Stultz?

That's right, Maxie Stultz.
That's right.

Don't you remember me,
Charlie Arneg?

Yeah, sure,
that's right.

Did you see Mr. Hagen,
Charlie?

No, Maxie,
Mr. Hagen's in Detroit.

Huh? Where?

Detroit. See?

Says right here
in the paper.

"Mike Hagen
is in Detroit."

Where am I, Charlie?

New York, Maxie.

Then Mr. Hagen
is in New York, too.

Here, in this hotel?

That's right.
He left his room.

I got to protect him.

Where have you been,
Mr. Hagen?

Alright, alright,
upstairs.

You've been in Detroit,
Mr. Hagen?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There is a old saying
which says

"It is not who you know
that matters

in this world
but what you know."

For instance,
I know that Mike Hagen

is hiding out
in the Gage Hotel.

This is a nice slice
of information

which, dropped
in the right company

could net me
a nice piece of change.

Next day,
I start hanging around

with Marty Daylor's boys.

And I learned something
that is hot.

Real hot.

And worth even more
to Mike Hagen

than I could get
from Marty Daylor.

Hiya, Max.
Eh, Mr. Higginsbury in?

Who?

Mr. Hagen,
uh, where is he?

Shut that door,
Maxie.

Mike, boy.

How did you know
where I was?

Now, relax,
Mike, boy.

I...I meet Maxie here
in the lobby last night.

Then I see you come in.

Yeah?
What do you want?

I got a nice slice
of information for you.

Very warm...

Now, I could perhaps
let you have

for a, uh,
Willie McKinley.

If that's
what I think it is

the answer is "No".

Okay.
It's too bad

I can't get
to Mrs. Hagen on time.

Now, considering how warm
this slice really is

I think
it's a very fair fee, Mike.

What's Mrs. Hagen
got to do with this?

Uh, William McKinley.
A U.S. old president

uh, cooled around 1900.

- A half a grand.
- I don't have it on me.

Look, I'm not poor enough
to have that much on me.

Alright, alright,
I'll show you

Charlie's heart
is in the right place.

From you,
I would take paper.

Uh, for a leave of,
say, about 30 days.

- Is hotel stationery legal?
- Without a doubt.

Uh, I, the undersigned...

...promise to pay
to Charles Arneg.

Ah...make it Charles,
will you, Mike.

Five-hundred bucks...

...30 days from
the above date.

Alright, what about
Mrs. Hagen?

Mart Daylor's boys
are putting the snatch

on Mrs. Hagen tonight.

- In Boston.
- How do you know?

Well...I invest in a few beers
with the right people.

Uh, they cannot find you,
so naturally they got to grab

the next best thing, your wife.

Right after the show.

Uh, none of that "hold them
for ransom" jazz

or that old-fashioned stuff.

They'll probably tuck her away
for a few days

in a little hideout
and make a few scars maybe...

- Hello? Hello? Hello!
- Uh...Michael.

If you're calling the cops,
I think this is a very bad move.

Now suppose,
for argument's sake

the snatch is on?

Now, the boys have got to dump
your wife someplace

and when they dump her, she's
liable to be very, very cold.

Hello.
Hello!

Listen, get me the
Palace Theater in Boston.

Backstage.
I'll talk to anybody.

Well, that's the whole slice.
I'll see you around, huh, Mike.

H-hey! Wait a minute,
where do you think you're going?

Uh, over
to the drug store

to invest in a malted.

With Mart Daylor maybe

so you can earn another
McKinley?

Mike, a guy's got to make his
own way in this world

but a thing like that,
I just--

Maxie!
Cross-eyed!

Now, Max, Max, boy,
you remember me?

Charlie?
Charlie Arneg?

Hello? I want to speak
to Mrs. Michael Hagen.

Uh, M-Marilia Brown,
right away.

Impossible, I can't get her
to the phone now.

The curtain just went up.

Listen, this is her husband.
I've got to talk to her.

It's a matter of life and death.
Life and death.

Don't you understand?
The curtain has--

You hear me?
Life and death.

Alright, alright!

Hurry up, girls, come on!

Come on, girls.
Let's get a move on now.

Here we go.

A matter of life and death.

There was a Hagenism
if I ever heard one.

No dice.

Listen, you!

Hello!Hello?

- Come on, Maxie.
- Where? What? Wha...

We're going to Boston.

Again?

Move!

Marilia.
Marilia, come here with me.

Look, there's something the
matter with Lori's next change.

They can't fix it.
Will you take a look?

Zachary, when I agreed
to come up here, I--

Now, Marilia,
don't be like that.

They-the-they...
She can't go on the stage.

- You can't do that, I--
- Please, Marilia!

Oh, Mrs. Hagen,
it's just terrible.

Well, they cleaned
this dress

and tacked it back.
I don't know how.

Looks alright to me.
What's the matter?

Well, in the first place,
I can't breathe.

What's wrong
with that?

Oh...well,
but she

she has to be
cut all over.

Fine.

Where shall we start?

Wherever you think.

You can go now, Evelyn,
Miss Brown will take care of me.

Shall we, uh, talk?

Let's!
What about?

Ooh, let's talk
about...Michael Hagen.

Interesting subject.
You first.

Of course,
I knew Mike.

I knew him very well.

But, I lost him
when you came along.

He's quite a man,
Michael Hagen.

No saint, of course.

But you must have suspected that
before you married him.

Maybe, even, that was why
you married him.

I don't think you really minded
that he'd once been in love

with another woman.

You just couldn't take
meeting her.

Small-minded.

It could be your
early upbringing.

You realize, of course,
I have a weapon in my hand.

Would it be small-minded to ask you

what my husband was doing
in your apartment

at night, pie-eyed?

Um...just one right here
and I think we'll have it.

Mike never left town,
you know.

He was in New York
all the time.

So he told me.

Did he tell you why?

He tried to.

You should've listened.

Not that you'd care for it.

I'm sure you could
never stand anything

that approached
physical violence.

Up to the moment, no.

But I'm beginning to find
the prospect very alluring.

I still haven't heard
what my husband was doing

shoeless in your apartment.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

He came there that night
to make up a lie about us.

Give him a chance and he'll
tell it to you sometime.

A real dilly.
You'll love it.

Give me a hint.

No, I don't want
to spoil it for you.

But...if I were you...

...I'd believe it.

After all, he's only lying
about something

that happened
before he met you.

He has nothing
to lie about since.

Take my word for it.

That's what I'd like
to find sometime.

The kind of man
who'd love me so much

that he'd do anything,
no matter how silly

just so I'd never be hurt.

That's what
I've been looking for.

And I darn near had it.

It's alright now,
Miss Shannon.

Thank you, Mrs. Hagen.

Where are you?

In New York, with Mike.

Why don't you leave?

Everything is alright.

You're just in the way
here now.

Thank you, Zach.

Mrs. Hagen.

I'm Johnnie O.

We was introduced
by your husband.

Of course.
How are you, Mr. O?

Mrs. Hagen, your husband
is in trouble.

- Trouble? What kind of trouble?
- Bad.

- Matter of life and death.
- Oh, no.

He wants to see you,
Mrs. Hagen.

He's been hidin' out, printin'
those articles about Mr. Daylor

and some very rough people
have put the finger on him.

Now, I could take you
to him right away

there's a plane
in about 20 minutes--

Please!
Oh, please.

Good night,
Miss Brown.

Who are they?
Oh, no! Let me go!

The punchy.
Get the punchy!

Mike!

Maxie!
Cross-eyed!

Maxie, cross-eyed!

Mike!

Mike!

Help...oh!

Help!
Somebody, help!

Cross-eyed.
Cross-eyed.

I realized what was happening

Maxie couldn't tell
the good guys from the bad.

- Maxie!
- Cross-eyed.

Help!
Ah!

Here, you fellows, we can't
have this sort of thing.

There's a show going on
in here.

Don't you realize
this is an opening night?

Would you mind
telling me what this--

No, Maxie!
No!

Cross-eyed.

Help!

Mike!

Get that big punchy.

Stop it, you!

Oh, both of you, stop.

Uh!

Marilia, will you get
in here? There's trouble

with the costumes.
Nobody can--

Foul!

Uh!

Ah!

Aah!

There he is!

Aah!

- Randy, boy.
- Hi, Mike.

Marilia!

Marilia!
Are you alright?

- Are you alright, dear?
- Mike, Oh, Mike!

- Are you all right?
- Sure, sure, I'm okay.

Did they hurt you?
Oh, my poor darling.

Are you alright,
sweetheart?

- Are you sure you're fine?
- Yes.

Now, look.
Right now before anything

I want to straighten you out
on the Lori Shannon thing.

Oh, Mike, you don't have to.
Please, believe me.

No, no, I want to.
Now, listen.

Lori Shannon
comes from Wisconsin.

A friend of mine there,
on the Green Bay Packers

He sent me a picture of her.

Asked me to use my influence
to get her a job.

Lori was right,
it was a real dilly.

But...I forgot
to get rid of the picture.

And that's how
you found it.

- Oh.
- See?

Mike, darling.

Why didn't you
tell me this before?

Just for the record.

Mart Daylor was convicted

and sentenced
to three to five years.

He was released after eight
months, for good behaviour.

But his reputation
as a crook was ruined

and he faded into obscurity.

Mike and I
are still together, of course.

We never argue anymore,
and-and when we do

it-it never lasts
more than a week or two.

We are really
very happily married.

We don't often mention
Lori Shannon in our household.

Though, I understand
she's quite happy, too.

Well...why
shouldn't I be?

Zachary and I have been
engaged...for some time.

That's enough, boy.

Now, stop.

Oh...well, I think that about
sums up the story.

Unless, of course,
Maxie has something to add.

I'm makin' a comeback, you know?