Original subtitles

My name's Mike Hagen. I'm a sports writer.

If you read the papers, maybe you've heard of me.

I was involved in that, uh, ruckus up in Boston.

A lot of people have asked me for the facts about that affair.

I certainly have no objection to telling my side of it.

Still, the story wouldn't be complete

unless you heard from some of the others involved

like...Marilia.

I imagine Marilia might have something to say.

I have a good deal to say. Not only about my side of it

but about Mike's, too.

Because, uh, Mike doesn't always tell the truth.

Not that he means to lie or anything, but.. Well, you..

You have to know Mike.

Then, of course, there's someone else

who could shed considerable light on things...

...if she will.

I'm Lori Shannon.

I... I really have very little to tell.

I was involved, of course, but in quite an innocent way.

Not, uh, everybody believed that...

...but I'm sure Zachary Wilde does.

Look, uh, frankly, I'd like to keep out of the whole mess.

However, there... There is another witness

a man named, uh, Maxie Stultz.

I'm sure he could be very informative.

Yeah. I wanna tell everything I know, the whole truth

because I was always a good stand-up boy, honest fighter.

I was champion for 3 years. I'm makin' a comeback now.

So, uh, I wanna tell everything I know... Everything.

Let me think now.

I don't know anything.

The whole thing began

out in Beverly Hills, the night

of the California Invitational, a golf tournament.

I'd picked Johnnie Strawn in the sports writers' Calcutta

a sort of lottery.

And I'd won myself $1,200.

So I was buying that night and feeling fine... Just fine.

Hey, Mike! Come here.

Hey, Mike. Tell the guy about the guy

that wears the glasses and the umpire...

I say Johnnie Strawn may be the best golfer in America in years.

What do you think of that, huh?

I was feeling just fine the next morning.

It was noon. I'd been up about a half an hour...

...showering and shaving

and breakfasting on a small tin of aspirin.

Nothing helped.

Let's see now. Up until 10:00 the night before

everything was crystal clear. I was having a couple of drinks

with some newspaper friends

celebrating the $1,200 I had won.

Twelve hundred dollars...

All I had now were three 10s and a handful of silver.

Down?

Some newspapermen drink too much.

- Hi, boy. - Uh, hi, Larry.

- How do you feel? - Yeah.

Say, how'd you handle the story yesterday?

- Hmm? - The story.

The California Invitational, remember?

Oh. Ho ho ho.

Hey, you didn't forget to file your copy.

Since when have I ever forgotten to file my copy?

Always a first time.

My copy, had I forgotten it?

A lead flashed in front of my eyes. "Johnnie Strawn,

The gill-sized giant of golfdom

smashes his way to victory with a sizzling 66."

Had I written those words somewhere sometime?

Had I dreamed them?

- Uh, miss. Miss? - Yes, sir.

I'd like to see a copy of a long wire

that I sent to the "New York Record"late last night

or, uh, about 2:00 or 3:00 this morning.

Are you sick, mister?

- Uh, the wire, please. - Yes, sir.

Well, let's see. "New York Times"

"New York Herald Tribune"..

- "New York"-- - "New York Record."

The greatest golf story of the decade, and I'd fluffed it.

And my career was ruined.

Coffee... That's what I needed, coffee.

Seven or eight pots of coffee and a quiet locale

where I could think up a good lie for my editor.

Coffee, please.

There he was, my character of the night before...

...Mr. Michael Hagen.

I thought he saw me, too, so I gave him a friendly wave.

Hey!

My character seemed a little subdued this morning.

It never occurred to me that my character didn't have

the slightest idea who I was.

Well, good morning. How do you feel?

Great. Tip-top.

Did you sleep alright?

Fine, I'm not even awake yet.

Your eyes are red.

I bathed them in alka-fizz.

Well, anyway, it's a beautiful morning.

Look, isn't it lovely?

May I make a suggestion?

Why don't you jump into a swimsuit

and take a quick plunge?

- May I make a suggestion? - What?

- You take a plunge. - Oh, sorry.

I-I guess you're not feeling very sociable.

Here. I-I've been waiting all morning.

- Why, what's that? - Seven hundred dollars.

You gave it to me.

- When? - Last night.

- What for? - You liked me.

- That much, huh? - Oh, now...

- Here, you keep it. - Don't be ridiculous.

- I gave it to you. It's yours. - Will you, please?

If I gave it to you I must've meant it.

Call for Mr. Michael Hagen!

- Now, just a minute. - Boy!

- Yes, sir! - Oh, if you think--

- Mr. Hagen? - Yep, yep.

- Uh, New York is calling. - Uh, where?

You can take it in that booth over there.

Now, listen, Mr. Hagen. Listen, Mr...

I had to stay, if only to straighten Mr. Hagen

out on a few facts.

Uh, Mike Hagen here.

Uh, Mr. Hagen, Mr. Ned Hammerstein

of the "New York Record" calling.

Yeah, yeah. Put him on. Put him on.

Hello. Hello, Mike?

Hello, Ned. Now, listen, Ned about that copy...

I can't understand what happened.

I spoke to Western Union. I tried to--

Never mind about the copy. You're in a little trouble, boy.

What do you mean "trouble"?

I'm trying to explain to you exactly why my copy didn't

Forget it. The copy was okay. Now, look--

You mean, you liked my copy?

The copy that I sent last night?

Yes, it was all alright. Now, what is the matter with you?!

Nothing, Ned. Everything is great.

Well, everything is not so great back here.

That column you did on Mart Daylor on the fight racket?

Well, he was in here twice to see about a retraction.

He's plenty burned!

Fine, fine. Good morning.

Are you listening to me?

Certainly, why?

I want to remind you, my friend

that Mart Daylor knows some very influential people

especially a bevy of thugs

who would like to see you laid out in an alley some night

with your face bashed in.

Okay, great. I'll take care of it right away.

You like my copy, huh?

Yes! Yes! I told you twice I like the copy!

Okay. Alright, Ned. Bye-bye.

I was a new man. My hangover was gone.

I felt like singing.

I loved the whole world and all its people.

I would even, I decided

be nice to that ugly girl who'd been annoying me.

Must have been a different girl.

Well, how would you like some breakfast? Waiter!

A breakfast menu, please.

I'd like to apologize for the way I acted before.

You see, I was a little revved up about something.

There was a story that I was supposed to send to New York

and I was afraid...

Well, it's really nothing that would interest you very much.

It was a story that--

You mean, the "Johnny Strawn

the gill-sized giant of golfdom" story?

How did you know?

Because we wrote it together, the two of us.

The two...? Where?

In a very small and quite dirty bar and grill

about 40 miles north. You wired the story from Santa Barbara.

Oh, that's where, that's why--

And that's when you gave me the $700.

- Oh. I'm sorry. - It's alright, uh...

Well, uh... What happened after that?

Nothing. We drove home and I took you

to your door about 6 o'clock.

- You really don't remember? - Uh, go on.

Well, nothing. You shook my hand

and told me if I was ever in New York

to be sure and look you up,

and that you'd find me a spot in the sports-writing field.

Alright. When can you start?

I really wrote it, huh?

Including that "gill-sized giant--"

Well, actually, that phrase was my idea.

Ah ha ha. I'm glad.

Oh, I thought it was rather good.

Where did we meet, anyway?

Oh, right over there, at the bar.

And then later I was at Mrs. Harrington's

when you came in with your friends.

Oh, yeah, Mrs. Harrington. Yeah. Mrs. Harrington.

- Yes. - Yeah.

Who is Mrs. Harrington?

We began to laugh.

Three hours later, we were still laughing.

- How about dinner? - Oh, I'm afraid not.

I'm on a 6 o'clock plane to New York.

Thanks anyway, though.

Oh, here, you earned it, by helping me write the story.

Now, let's not play that again.

- Oh, no. You saved my job. - Please.

Okay, we'll spend it. That's the only way to settle things.

Spend every penny, take a couple of days doing it.

Well, if that isn't the silliest--

After all, we work hard. We're entitled to a little relaxation.

We're due for it, both of us.

- I don't need relaxation. - You work, don't you?

- Yes, of course. - Alright. That does it.

We'll spend it together, have a real ball.

I couldn't possibly.

Now listen, nobody knows how to live anymore.

We're all too busy to enjoy ourselves.

Do you know where you are right now?

- Well, just off-hand-- - California.

The playground of the western world.

It's all around us, the mountains, the desert

Marineland, the Pacific Ocean. Don't forget the Pacific Ocean.

Oh, I won't.

Tell me, have you ever sailed in a small boat

way out on the ocean, with the salt-spray in your face

the wind in your hair?

- No. Have you? - Certainly not.

You think I'm crazy?

But I'd be willing to try. Come on.

Oh, no. I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.

During the next four days

we hardly made a dent in Mike's $700

because all we did was lie around and yak it up.

- What's that? - A sketch for a dress.

That's what I do, design clothes.

- For a living? - Uh-huh.

Well, well... What do you know?

That's why I have to get back to New York tonight.

And that's why... For heaven's sake

do you realize I haven't packed yet?

Oh, ho ho. I'm sorry.

Please, Mike, I've really got to rush.

Wait. We have things to see, Marineland, porpoises.

We haven't seen them feed the porpoises.

Mike, it's... It's out of the question.

I can't possibly. Come on.

Welcome to Marineland of the Pacific

the world's largest oceanarium. We'd like to tell you that...

I can't remember who first brought up the subject of love.

It certainly doesn't sound like me.

One minute I was experting on the care

and feeding of porpoises and the next thing I knew

we were talking about love, its symptoms.

I eat like a fool, when I'm in love, I mean.

My friend used to tell me they couldn't swallow a morsel

but I eat like a fool.

With that boy from Yale, that was some time ago, of course

I gained 8 pounds. And then there was this certain artist.

Waters off the California coast.

It was 2 years before I got back to normal.

I just eat and eat and eat.

Just a cup of cold consomme, please.

And maybe the tiniest bit of that pompano

a large lobster salad, and... Oh dear, you have trout.

Will you have both?

Alright. And then for dessert, I'll...

I felt the blush coming from my waist up.

Mike was staring at me. He knew it as well as I did.

I was in love with my character.

How about it, hmm?

Mike?

We're adults.

We know what we're doing.

Hmm?

I couldn't, Mike.

She did, though. We were married that night in Arizona.

Do you, Marilia, take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband

to love and to cherish?

After a honeymoon of exactly 20 1/2 hours, we flew to New York

our arms locked the whole way, except for breakfast.

Marilia needed two hands for that.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is now expected

we will land in New York on scheduled

time, which will be 9:10.

One hour. Hey, where do you live, anyway?

74th street.

Oh, we'll stop at my place first. It's closer.

Then we'll hop a cab and pick up your stuff.

Cab? What about my furniture?

Oh, give it away. Can't live in two places.

It was a wonderful trip, but a few minutes out of New York

a strange thing happened.

Marilia changed her clothes.

Sorry, Madam, this seat's taken.

I may have to stop by the office. My working clothes.

This was just the first in a series of wardrobe changes

which never failed to amaze me.

Believe me, this kid changed her clothes nine times a day.

We went to Mike's apartment first.

Just outside the door, he suddenly got embarrassed.

Maybe I bragged too much about this place.

It's not the Taj Mahal or anything.

Let me see.

Is it comfortable, that's what I'd say. You'll love it.

- Open up. - Take a look.

I took a look.

The first thing I thought of

was my little brother's shoe box

in which he used to keep all his possessions.

Old string and marbles and bits of colored glass.

The prospect of taking up permanent residence

in this shoe box was somewhat unnerving

but I didn't want to hurt Mike's feelings.

He was so proud of everything.

Opening off the shoe box was a door

leading to another shoe box

which I assumed was the bedroom.

The apartment wasn't really at its best that day.

Things seemed a little out of place, one thing in particular.

Mm-hmm...

Uh-huh...

What else could I say?

When it's cleaned up a little with new curtains

and the right kind of pictures...

It'll be a real hellhole.

- We'll move tomorrow. - Oh, Mike.

Just for tonight, we'll stay at my place. Alright with you?

Yeah.

I guess I never looked at this trap before. Hello.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ned, I'm back. It's the office.

Oh, I can't get down right now. I'm busy. I've got a...

Oh, that's alright. Go ahead.

What?

Oh, look. I've been threatened before.

I don't worry about the...

Alright. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right away.

How do you like that? I'm back in town 20 minutes--

Well, that's alright. I've got plenty to do here, anyway.

- Mike? - What?

You're not in any trouble or anything?

What do you... Oh, you mean that?

No. No. What? What's the matter?

It's just occurred to me.

I don't know you very well, do I?

- Well enough, hmm? - Hmm. Maybe.

Hey, how about this? Our first parting.

Sad.

I think I'll stay.

Unh-unh.

- Uh-- - Unh-unh.

For the next hour or so

I packed Mike's marbles and bits of glass singing happily.

Until I came across a picture of a girl.

Well, I guess it was a girl.

She was certainly in an odd position.

I wasn't worried, of course, just interested.

I wanted to see what a lady contortionist looked like.

Nothing. All I knew was that she had straight teeth

and the kind of expansion men seem to favor.

I measured it mentally against my own, came off a bad second

and tore her carefully into small pieces.

At the office, I was the target

of the usual ribbing and laughter

associated with holy matrimony.

Luke Coslow, the office boy

came up with a real side-splitter.

Quiet! Quiet! Here you are, old man.

Ready-made... Saves time and trouble.

Tell that old goat...

But I must say, my editor Ned Hammerstein

was very sentimental.

You're eight days late. I'll take it off your vacation

providing, you get a vacation.

Meanwhile, if you got nothing to do

maybe you better cover the fight next week.

There's a couple of folks in town

who would like to know about it. And speakin' of fights

you got a sweet one on your hands with Mart Daylor.

What's his beef?

Your column, March 16, this year

"The great Martin J. Daylor who calls himself a fight promoter

is promoting mostly Mart Daylor.

He has a string on every fighter or manager in New York.

Nobody fights without Mart Daylor's permission

or without paying Mart Daylor's cut.

I suggest that Mr. Daylor retire

to his palatial farm in Bucks County

before an irate sports world retires him forcibly

to a crooked boy's bin."

What are you buckin' for, a quick funeral?

Now, Ned, this isn't the roaring twenties. People don't--

Mart Daylor would like that.

Take a murder rap? He's too smart--

Who mentioned murder? All that'd happen is

you're walking along 3rd avenue some night

a truck jumps the curb, an accident...

Nobody's fault in the world.

But you're cooling off on the pavement

so you can't be sure.

Alright.

What do you want me to do, print a retraction?

I don't care what you do. What am I?

A sentimental slob or something? Do what you want.

Just make sure your by-line doesn't appear

in the obit column.

- Okay, Ned. - Oh, wait.

Here...

From, uh...

From Nora and me... A wedding present.

- From Nora and-- - Well, from Nora.

You liked it up at the house. She thought you could use it.

I didn't have time to put paper

oh, get it wrapped and send the bill to me.

Oh, Ned, I can't--

Oh, no speeches! Come on.

Get it out of here. It's in my way.

Phone calls for Mr. Michael Hagen

Mart Daylor, Mart Daylor...

Mart Daylor, Mart Daylor...

Lori Shannon...

Lori Shannon. I hadn't thought of her once in eight days.

When I did now, it didn't feel so good.

I was speaking of Lori Shannon

the girl that you're probably plenty worried about.

However, since you've retired from the field

you might inform Miss Shannon

that there's a handsome, young newspaperman

who would be very, very happy to substitute at any...

Oh, very funny. Very funny.

11:00 A.M. she was probably still at her TV rehearsal.

♪♪ There'll be a change in the weather ♪♪

♪ And a change in the sea ♪

♪ From now on there'll be a ♪

♪♪ Change in me ♪♪

♪♪ My walk will be different ♪♪

♪♪ My talk and my name ♪♪

♪♪ Nothin' about me's gonna ♪♪

♪♪ Be the same ♪♪

♪♪ I'm gonna change my way of livin' ♪♪

♪♪ If that ain't enough ♪♪

♪♪ Then I'll change the way I ♪♪

♪♪ Strut my stuff 'cause nobody ♪♪

♪♪ Nobody wants you when you're old and gray ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be some changes made today ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be some changes made ♪♪

He arrived about noon

my Lochinvar, from out of the west.

Come to tell me about his marriage.

He stood there like he was awaiting his execution.

He was nice and tanned after his California vacation.

Healthy looking, too.

Of course, he'd only been married for a day and a half.

♪♪ Nobody ♪♪

♪♪ Nobody wants you when you are old and gray ♪♪

♪♪ There'll be some changes made today ♪♪

♪♪ They'll be some changes made ♪♪♪♪

Hello, Mike.

Hello, Lori.

How've you been?

Quite well. How have you?

Oh, I-I've been quite well.

- You look well. - Oh, I feel good. Uh...

Where're we going? On a picnic?

Oh, no. This is a... Well it...

My, my boss Ned Hammerstein he picked...

Look. How about lunch?

Oh, I'd love it.

It'll just take me a minute to change clothes.

We went to Andrucci's, our old hangout.

And we ordered our old favourite.

Ah, ravioli Andrucci.

He hadn't gotten around to confessing his marriage.

And was making a botch of the small talk.

Ned is the same old Simon Legree.

He was so pathetic, I had to help him out.

Look I got something to tell you.

Let me tell you, Mike.

You, found a girl.

The most wonderful girl in the world.

The kind of girl that you just couldn't live without.

And you married her. That's all.

I knew you'd understand.

Why shouldn't I?

There's no point making a federal case

out of something that couldn't be helped.

I'd have probably done the same thing myself

if I'd have found the right man.

Well, I thought because I didn't send a...

He was grateful as a Saint Bernard.

And I felt generous and warm hearted inside.

It was a good scene.

But then I made a mistake.

I asked him to tell me about it.

And he made a bigger mistake.

He told me.

Well, she's not like anyone else I know...

I heard all about her eyes and her hair and her figure.

And the way she walked.

I heard all about her fine sense of humor and her clothes.

And the cute way she had of tilting her head

when she laughed.

Tossing her head when she laughs.

Sort of like a pony.

After a while, I knew her like a sister.

Anyway, I'm...so glad, that you understand.

Why shouldn't I?

Well, guess I better be getting back to rehearsal.

You don't, don't mind if I don't get up?

Oh, please don't.

Mr. Hagen, you didn't get your lunch?

Yeah, I got it.

Would you like to have something else?

No, that'll be plenty.

Uh, just get me a check and a pair of pants.

A pair of pants?

Now, look don't make a fuss.

Just borrow me a pair of pants from somebody.

- Aah! - No, fuss.

How did it happen?

The lady did it.

Borrow the pants.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Are you sure? I'm Mr. Hagen's wife.

I still don't think he's here.

Oh, yes. Yes he is.

I just remembered. This way please.

Thank you.

He's right over there.

Well, what a small world!

Uh, you don't mind if I don't get up?

Oh, you shy about kissing in public?

Your office told me you might be here.

And I wanted to see you anyway.

Big new. I've got everything moved.

Zach Wilde sent over a car

and I had the janitor carry your bags down.

It's fine, I'm glad.

I got a pair of pants for you in the men's room.

I'd have sworn you had pants on when you left.

What's that?

That? That's ravioli.

Oh, of course. Should have recognized it.

Didn't you care for it?

Oh, yes. It's very good here.

It, certainly doesn't go with grey.

It's the busboy's pants. Green ones.

Oh, I'm going into the men's room now

and change into the busboy's green pants.

And then we'll go to my place and pick up the suit.

You haven't been listening, dear.

Your clothes are at my place.

Oh, that's fine.

You shouldn't have done it.

I'm sorry.

I'd have wagered a Lily Dache hat.

There'd been another woman at that table.

But I wasn't going to ruin my second day of marriage

with petty jealousies.

For some reason I had pictured

Marilia living in a one room kitchenette.

With a girlfriend who studied music.

This place even had an outside flunky.

Very refined.

Here we are.

He tried not to notice my pants.

And tried not to notice his.

Well, say something.

Chic!

Umm-hmm...

Oh, chic!

That's a word I've never used before.

But, now I know what it means.

Ms. Brown! Ms. Brown! Congratulations, Ms. Brown!

I'm Mrs. Hagen, Gwen. And this is Mr. Hagen.

Mr. Hagen, it's certainly a pleasure.

Oh, now don't worry about his pants, Gwen.

He borrowed them.

Of course, he did. Wouldn't you know.

Get these to the cleaners, will you?

Sure.

And be careful, you might find some ravioli.

Oh, here. Put this in a place of honour

our first wedding present.

Oh, no, it isn't. It's the second.

What do you mean?

Look.

Oh, the coffee table.

Oh, I don't have to read it. I know.

"You always wanted this table

but you wouldn't marry me to get it.

So here's with all my love. Zachary Wilde."

Oh.. Uh!

He always wanted me to marry him.

I figured.

Tell me, how soon can I punch Zachary Wilde in the snoot?

What's on your mind?

Guess!

You're going to bite me on the ear again.

Don't you like it?

It's a very strange...

...but, pleasurable sensation.

Oh, Mike...

Surprise, surprise!

Surprise!

Congratulations!

Where did you snare the man?

This is my, my husband, Michael Hagen.

Fred Sellers, Marie Dozier, Dottie Reed

Florrie Canfield and Mr. Orvac.

My husband.

Darling, may I help you?

Usually I'm a little more presentable than this

but I was having lunch today--

That's my monkey!

It was really very amusing.

I spilled something and this little Italian waiter--

The pig. That's the one I got.

I figured if I put on my new suit

maybe, I could join the club.

I couldn't.

I guess I didn't speak the language.

Oh, here...

Can't get a tumbler here, unless you're gift-wrapped.

I, uh, I see you changed your pants.

Thanks, you're the only one who's noticed.

Must be quite a story, some place in those pants.

Pretty dull one, I'm afraid.

You know, there's one thing I can't stand is a surprise party.

Listen to them.

If I were you, I'd throw them all out.

Myself, including.

Who are they?

Well, now lets see.

There's, uh, one actor, one playwright, one composer

two actresses, television director

and the old bag in the blue dress is Jennifer Deane.

A designer.

The excitable type arguing with her is Christopher Matthew

also a designer.

Known on his labels as Mr. Chris.

I think that's about all.

Oh, yes. And one theatrical producer.

I liked this guy right away. Nice fellow.

Trim, distinguished.

I've been asking Marilia to design a show for me.

You, uh, think you could talk her into it?

Well, I can try.

Say, in all the excitement, I missed your name.

Oh, Wilde, Zachary Wilde.

Sure. Zachary Wilde.

I felt like taking his coffee table

and cracking him right over the head with it.

My idiot friends stayed till almost 7:00.

I gave Gwen the night off

and cooked dinner with my own lily hands.

I was jittery about Mike's reaction to the apartment.

Wanted to balance things with the show of domesticity.

You're, uh, loaded, huh?

Just prodigal. This place keeps me broke.

Of course, it was the inheritance from dad.

It's all gone, though.

Where do you come from?

Now, that's a funny question.

Saint Louis.

Ms. Prowl of the Saint Louis Prowls.

Well, how did you ever hear of us?

We weren't that rich.

Oh I-I didn't.. Used to be a baseball team.

I was making a joke.

It's a shock, you know.

You marry a nice girl out in California.

You think it might be quite a treat for her.

You take the little girl east...

...show her the big city...

Let her meet a few people...

And you find out she already knows everybody in New York

and she even owns a sizable chunk of it.

It's a shock.

Bad for the ego.

- Why didn't you tell me? - You didn't ask.

Well, I didn't ask if you were a second baseman either.

But, if you had been, I'd expect you to confide in me.

No, I didn't wanna tell you.

Why should I?

I've been shopping around for you for a long time.

I didn't wanna lose you on a technicality.

You, live like this

just from drawing those little pictures, designing?

Umm-hmm. Except when men give me $700.

I make jokes, too.

You, uh, like this place?

I always thought I did.

I hope you'd like it, too.

That's why I tricked you into spending the night here.

And you like designing clothes.

I love designing clothes.

It's a silly ridiculous business and pays far too much money.

You meet silly, ridiculous people and I love it.

Not the people, the job.

What's more?

If you don't like this place, well, let's get out of it.

It's just too much, isn't it?

We'll go to your place.

Or we'll sleep in the subway. I don't care.

Because, if you think you're going to worm out of this

incompatibility chart

you can just start thinking all over again.

You're not crying?

No. But, I'm considering it very seriously.

Now, slow down.

It's not a bad place.

Some people might consider it a very liveable place.

Throw in a couple of rubber plants

and an autographed Yankee ball...

...you'd be surprised.

A fellow could be very snug here.

- Oh, Mike. - Ha ha ha.

That's okay.

Cut it out.

Everything's fine.

Compatible?

Compatible.

Umm.

Do you smell something burning?

It's just the sauce.

It's the ravioli.

For a whole month, we were as happy as birds.

I didn't know anything about the designing business.

And she didn't know anything about sports.

During the day, we lived in two separate worlds...

...about five miles apart.

And at night, we made a world of our own.

Yeah, it was a wonderful month.

I gained six pounds.

Oh, the fight?

Oh, I've never been to the fights, Mike. I'd love to.

I just can't make up my mind which one.

But the mill has to know right now.

They're still on the telephone, huh.

Wha... Oh, oh. I-I said I'd love to go, Mike.

Oh, where do I meet you?

Try that over the shoulder, will you?

What? Oh, Gotham Arena? Fine.

Oh, Mike, what do I wear?

What do the other women wear to fights?

Alright, I'll figure out something.

8:30, bye.

I see.

Alright, I'll take this one.

She's decided, hello. Hello, she decided on 417-X.

If I could have just one minute.

Oh Zach, please.

I got this fashion show just staring me in the face.

I realise your problem.

I have one, too. A musical show.

Bright, witty, modern.

At the moment highly expensive since I'm waiting

for the designer to make up her mind.

It's more than just my mind.

Wha-what would the stores think?

Look, I'm just an employee here, you know.

Besides, I've never done theatrical designing.

Yeah, that's why I want you.

You'll be fresh, different. It needs your high style.

I don't know.

Randy is supposed to put the numbers in work next week.

He can't move unless he has some idea what the wardrobe will be.

Zach, I just don't know.

- I agree with her, a 100%. - What?

- You just don't know. - Randy!

Personally, I love Marilia. I love her work.

But not for this, believe me.

- She's all wrong. - Oh, really?

Designing a musical show, my pet,

is not done over the weekend.

You just can't toss it off over your shoulder--

- I'm not trying to toss-- - I have ideas, you know.

Very definite ideas, and above all, any wardrobe

designed for this show has, has got to dance.

Look, I'm not asking to do this, you know.

Look at this beautiful, wonderful design.

As long as she stands like this. But can she do this?

Don't tell me it's impossible. Nothing is impossible.

- But who said it was-- - The Bongo number.

I had no idea what I may do with the Bongo number.

I may go completely insane.

And if I do, I want the clothes to go completely insane with me.

I admire your honesty in admitting you can't do it.

- I haven't admitted anything. - We have exactly five weeks.

She couldn't learn in 5 years.

I could do it in five days.

- But will you? - Yes, I will.

Alright, we got what we came for.

- May we leave now? - When can we get together?

Oh, Zach. Please give me a few days. I got the fashion show--

It'll have to be pretty soon.

I want to have a reading of the play for your creative minds.

How about Wednesday night at my place?

I'll have the others there.

Zach, will you please get him out now?

- Wednesday night. - Yeah.

- Wednesday night. - Randy!

You know I don't think I'll do a Bongo number.

Did I ever tell you the idea of a--

Oh, let's tear this up and start all over again.

- Very expensive. - Tear it apart, take the...

Two, three, four, five...

I'll say one thing, Marilia was the best dressed fight fan

the seconds had ever seen.

Hi, girl.

Am I late? I'm sorry.

That Jersey print came in at the last minute

and I had to tell him how to cut it.

- How are you, darling? - Fine, fine.

- Who's winning? - Galatos, it's a slaughter.

Give it to him, attaboy. Where did you get that thing?

Who told you that you could fight, ya groundhog?

How are you, Mike?

Congratulations.

Thanks.

You didn't return my call.

Calls, Mr. Daylor. About 20 of them.

I read again yesterday that I'm a very disreputable character.

What was that phrase, uh, "hydra-headed monster"?

"Feeding with all nine mouths on the boxing game."

My boy at Princeton was quite upset.

They don't appreciate those things at Princeton.

Well, he can switch to Harvard.

Mike, be reasonable, I'm a family man.

I got a lot of responsibilities.

I admit I take a dollar or two under the table

but I pay all my taxes.

- I don't kick dogs. - Just people, huh?

Throw the bums out of the ring.

Joey Hustik up there shouldn't be within ten miles

of a prize ring and you know it.

Gets his brains loosened every time he climbs in there.

- Oh, Mike. - But he pays you extra dues.

So you see to it he gets plenty of action.

- He's over 21. - He's over 41, Mr. Daylor.

Read about it tomorrow.

Mike, some day you're gonna wake up

and find your typewriter smashed.

Throw the referee out!

Oh, huh. I'm Mrs. Hagen.

Mike is a little forgetful sometimes.

Great pleasure, Mrs. Hagen. I'm Martin Daylor.

Oh, how do you do?

Martin Daylor, I know I've seen that name some place.

Aren't you the man Mike has been writing about in his...

...column?

I'm the man.

I hope you enjoy the fights, Mrs. Hagen.

Thank you.

- Good night. - Good night.

Well, how would I know?

He certainly doesn't look like a crook.

I'd never take him for a crook.

How many crooks have you known?

New side of Mike. Man in a huff.

He didn't wanna talk so, I had to watch the fight, too.

It was awful.

One of the man, the older one, was being punched constantly.

You know, you wouldn't think they can hit so much with those

heavy gloves on?

The gloves are to protect their hands.

Mike, sarcasm doesn't become you.

No, no. It's true the gloves are to protect their hands.

Alright, if that's what you want it to be.

I don't think I like fights.

- A lot of people do. - Not all of them.

- To some it's very boring. - Boring?

Look at those people over there, they're reading newspaper.

Give it to him.

No, no, they're not reading.

They're holding that way in case the blood splatters.

That was all I needed.

Aah!

Oh Mike, take me out.

- Are you okay? - Oh, uh, I'm fine.

- I'm sorry, Mike. - Oh, that's alright.

Come summer, I'll take you to the tennis match.

- Mike boy. - Oh, not now, Charlie.

Mike, uh, I got little something for you.

Got a little slice of information for you.

- Tomorrow. - It's a very warm slice, Mike.

I could let you have, uh, Ulysses S. Grant.

I haven't got a Ulysses--

Ah, two Andrew Jacksons might do the trick.

- No. - I got the shorts real bad.

- No. - How about a Lincoln?

- Not even a Lincoln? - Charlie, will you--

Alright. I'm desperate. Three Washingtons.

Here, here. Now, go away please.

Don't you even want the hot slice?

No, thanks, Charlie. Thanks a lot.

Ah, Mike. You're a people.

- Who's he, Mike? - Him? Oh, that's Charlie Arneg.

He's also known as Charlie "The Sneak".

- He peddles information. - What kind of information?

Any kind. Charlie's not fussy.

What was all that talk about?

About the Ulysses S. Grant and Andrew Jackson.

- Ulysses S. Grant is $50 bill. - Oh, it is?

Yeah, because it's got Grant's picture on it.

Andrew Jackson's a 20.

- Lincoln is a five. - And Washington's a one.

Very interesting. Why does he do it?

Uh, he's trying to get into a Damon Runyon story.

Who knows.

Oh, look, Mike. You're working, go on.

Why don't you go on back? I'll wait right here.

- Oh, no, no, I'm not--. - Oh please, I'll be fine.

I'm really perfectly fine. Now, you go on.

Uh, okay.

I'll come back to see you between fights, hmm?

- Hey, Mike, Mike. - Hey, Larry boy.

What's the matter. You're quittin' us?

No, uh, my place next week, okay?

Okay.

Oh, that's Larry Musso. You'll meet him.

I invited the regular crowd up for poker next Wednesday.

Oh, Wednesday?

Yeah, anything wrong with that?

Oh, no, that's-that's fine. Just fine.

The show crowd was coming that night, too.

It started out a bad evening and worsened steadily.

Play cards. Play cards.

- What are they doing in there? - Reading a play.

Yeah, who's reading it, Jack Benny?

Ronnie appears at the top of the steps

Aunt Agatha, she's done it again.

- Boy, this is one I got to see. - Play cards.

This is where I want to do the undersea ballet.

You can't do an undersea ballet, here.

- Why not? - Why not?

Because you're still in the drawing room set.

It has doors, hasn't it?

- Well, yes, but-- - That's all we need.

Behind closed doors anything can happen.

It's the basis of all my work.

The entrance of the unexpected.

A closed door.

When this door opens, anything can come through.

Qua di dum da doo.

Sea horses.

I'll get the sandwiches.

Aces.

How's the game going, dear?

Yeah, yeah.

Did you want something?

Well, yeah. The-the-the food, if it's ready.

I-I'm sure it is.

- Everybody ante? - I'm in.

I'll get it. You go and play, dear.

Fred deals the cards.

Mike Hagen live here? The poker game.

Mike Hagen? Well, yes.

Thank you. My name's Maxie Stultz.

- I'm his best friend. - Oh, yes, umm, Mike.

- You Mrs. Hagen, lady? - Yes--

Then I'll tell you somethin'. Don't worry, you know?

Any time anybody make trouble, you tell Maxie Stultz.

I take care of him good, right?

So you got nothin' to worry about.

Nothin', right? Where's the game?

In there.

- Hello, boys. - Hi, Maxie.

How you been? Glad you could make it.

I feel pretty good, Mr. Hagen.

I'm makin' a comeback, you know.

You're the boy that can do it, Maxie.

And Solly Horzmann's gonna manage me, right, Solly?

Sure, like I told you. Sit down, Maxie.

- Uh, deal me in. - Okay.

- Who-who is he? - Who?

The.. That man with no nose.

Oh, he has a nose. It's inside.

- But who is he? - Oh, that's, uh, Maxie Stultz.

He used to be middleweight champ. He's a little punchy.

- What? - Punchy. Punch-drunk.

We let him sit in for a couple of hands every Wednesday night.

We make sure he wins. It takes care of his room rent.

Well, tha-that's very sweet, but

he's not going to hit anybody, is he?

Why would he wanna hit anybody?

Well, I don't know, he-he kept telling me

not to worry if there's any trouble.

And I don't know what not to worry about.

- What is it? - Nothing.

I told you he's punchy.

- Just forget it, will you? - I'll try.

- Nice work, Maxie. Nice work. - How about that?

He wins on a pair of nines.

Yeah, nice, that's a pretty good hand, right?

They don't come any better, Maxie.

- We put you in for $5, Mike. - Fine, fine, fine.

After this I better get going 'cause

I got to do some roadwork in the morning.

No, no, Maxie one more hand, come on.

There are two possibilities...

Mike, can I see you for a minute?

- Yeah, sure. - Play cards!

Sorry, Mike, but where would you like to eat? In here?

Sure, sure, any place. What's that?

Mike, it's one of Gwen's creations.

A poker loaf, she calls it.

Yeah, but, I-I asked for bologna

and cheese and stuff, you know?

Well, it's all cheese and there's bologna in the middle.

Okay.

They don't seem to be going.

Why-why don't we just take the food

and the poker table and move them into the study.

Then you won't be disturbed, alright?

Oh, that's fine.

Alright, give me a hand here

we're gonna move in there.

What for?

Come on, just pick up your stuff.

Oh, cream cheese and olives.

Hey, you know, I tried one of those once.

Gave me gas.

You know, I was reading an article the other day

where you can buy these cutter kind of things

for card parties and you can make sandwiches

in the shape of clubs, hearts, and spades.

- Diamonds too? - Oh, absolutely.

You take this thing and you put--

If you don't like it, don't eat it, in there.

Oh, oh, I'm-I'm sorry.

These people here, they friends of Mike Hagen?

Why, yes, of course.

Nobody's gonna make trouble? I don't have to...

Oh, no, they're close friends. Very close.

That's good, 'cause I don't like trouble, you know.

Every time there's trouble, my head...

I don't like it.

Well, there's never any trouble around here. Never.

Good, just put it over there by the table.

That's right. Thanks.

I had one fight too many, you know.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I-I was fighting Tony Bleney and, uh-uh...

You see that eye?

I got 16 stitches in that eye.

In the eighth round, Tony opened it up

and the blood came pouring down and I couldn't see.

And then in the tenth, he opened up the other eye

and the blood came pouring down and I couldn't see at all.

- Well, what's the matter? - Nothing. Excuse me.

It's enough of that one. Let's try this.

Come on, let's get going.

Okay, you take a chair, I'll take the glasses.

- What? - Nothing!

Maybe I'll be luckier in here.

I meant, I don't want to move furniture.

I came here to play cards.

Hey, hey, hey!

By 12 o'clock everyone had gone.

I had a feeling there might be words

but I decided firmly they would not originate with me.

Well, well. Six Washingtons.

What's that for?

Sandwiches. We split the expenses every week.

Oh, well, if you play at a different house every week

why don't you just let the host take care of the sandwiches?

It would all even up in the end.

We do it this way because we like it this way.

Yes, there were going to be words, alright.

It'll be done the same way six weeks from tonight

when the game comes around here again.

So, in six weeks I thought

I'll have the pleasure of meeting

that man with no nose again.

I was going to say so, but repressed myself quickly.

So, in six weeks, I'll have the pleasure

of meeting that man with no nose again.

What's the matter?

You, uh, have something against Maxie Stultz?

Of course not.

He's a poor, unfortunate, punchy-drunk man.

And-and-and I feel very sorry for him.

But you could do much better by sending him

to a good psychiatrist.

I don't know a good psychiatrist

but if I did, I might visit him myself

after this evening.

So, it's out in the open, is it?

You don't like my friends.

Oh, well, I'm not bowled over.

Oh, that's strange. They're so much like yours.

Oh, we're back on Maxie again.

- I never mentioned-- - Well, I'll tell you one thing.

Nose or no nose, he's more of a man

than that-that Randy Owen who does-who does..

Hello, Randy.

Did you forget something?

My script.

I'll get it.

This is a picture of my wife and my three sons.

They're a little bigger now. The oldest is about six feet.

He plays football up in Maine.

I'd be happy to have you meet them sometime.

And some other time, if you'd like

I'd be happy to beat both your ears off.

Easy, easy, don't lose your head.

- Right now, if you'd like. - Randy.

- Randy, here's your script. - Good night, Marilia.

Good night.

Is he for real?

- Did he mean that? - I guess so.

He's, uh, something of a character, Randy.

Character.

Why, he's punchier than Maxie Stultz.

I wish Marilia hadn't decided

to make me her confidant.

It's a thankless role at best.

But when you're cast in it opposite a girl

you once asked to become your wife...

...why, it's downright embarrassing.

- Do you like Mike? - Hmm?

- Do you like Mike? - Certainly I do.

I don't know him very well

but he seems an intelligent man.

Fairly easy temperament.

Darn good writer too

I've been reading his stuff for years.

Of course, I like him, why do you ask?

- He hates you. - Oh.

Oh, it's not just you of course, it's all my friends.

So you know what?

You're not coming up to my place anymore.

Oh.

Well, after all, we're a pretty neurotic bunch.

Mike doesn't understand us.

Until he gets used to us, I'm going to keep

all of you away from him.

- Protect him from our neuroses. - That's right.

And Mike's not going to bring

some of his friends around, either.

Neuroticism doesn't seem to be confined

to the artistic class.

I'm relieved to hear that.

- Yes? - Miss Shannon is here.

Oh, ask her to come in.

This might be our leading lady.

I want you to meet her.

- Hello, Mr. Wilde. - How are you?

- Fine, thanks. - Marilia Brown. Lori Shannon.

Hello.

How do you do, Miss Brown?

Uh, have you two met?

I'm sure we have, haven't we?

I was just trying to think.

Well, anyway, you'll be a pleasure to dress.

- You have a lovely figure. - Why, thank you.

I'm a-a trifle long-waisted.

Oh, nothing we can't take care of.

Luckily you're tiny in the hips and your bust is perfect.

Yeah, well...

Well, Zach, I've got to run.

I have got a 100 things to do before my fashion show.

It's been very nice.

Congratulations on getting the part.

Oh, I don't think I have yet.

Oh, you will. Zach, you've got to. She's perfect.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

I didn't know Marilia Brown was designing your show.

Oh, yes, we're very lucky to get her.

Oh, yes.

Don't ask me why I went to

Marilla's fashion show that afternoon.

I must have been out of my head.

You ever been to a fashion show?

It's a sort of pagan ritual.

A ceremonial dance

where the faithful sit around

sipping tea and worshipping clothes.

There's a sacrifice involved, too.

Fifteen hundred dollars.

Fifteen hundred dollars for a dress.

Three hundred and fifty for a nightie, so help me.

The high priestess at this slaughter was my Marilia.

Oh, Mike, you came.

Oh, Mike, come on, I want to introduce you.

- Oh, no, no, I'd rather-- - Alright, alright.

We'll be exclusive.

Eight hundred and fifty dollars.

- What made you come? - Oh, I don't know.

L-I was working and suddenly I had this hunch.

A real hot flash, go to the Delsette store.

- Oh, Mike. - No, I mean it.

It happens to me like that sometimes.

Quick hunches.

A feeling that something nice is about to happen.

Well, look at that!

Oh, Zach, here.

That's Lori Shannon, she's in the show.

- Miss Shannon. - Hello.

- Marilia, did we miss anything? - No, you're just on time.

- How are you, Mike? - Hello, Zach.

Oh, Miss Shannon, this is my husband, Michael Hagen.

Uh, how do you do, Mr. Hagen? It's so nice to meet you.

- Won't you sit down here? - Thank you.

Uh, the chairs aren't very practical.

Oh, Miss Shannon, I wanted you to see this.

Oh, how beautiful.

Lori was going to play it like we'd never met.

Good.

I sneaked a look at Marilia to see

if she'd noticed anything.

Everything was okay.

"So," I thought, "He knows her."

I'm not naturally suspicious, but this you couldn't miss.

I see something like that for you in the garden number.

But slit up the sides for more freedom in dance.

- Don't you think so, Zach? - Yes.

Uh, by the way, Miss Shannon, how are your legs?

Well, no complaints.

Oh, I was sure there wouldn't be.

I do think we ought to see your legs in this.

Uh, but not quite so revealing in the neckline.

Although you've certainly got nothing to worry about there.

Are you alright, darling?

I began to put two and two together.

It didn't take long.

Two, the girl Mike feared

was about to spill tea in his lap

and two, the girl who had spilled ravioli

in his lap were one and the same spiller.

Total, four.

I still couldn't place where I'd seen Lori Shannon.

How would you like to see her dressed?

In splints!

Hello, Mr. Hagen.

Do you remember me?

Yeah, you're Johnny O, aren't you?

That's right, yeah.

I used to fight heavyweight.

Come in.

Hey!

Nice place you got here, Mr. Hagen.

Yeah.

Anybody home?

Just the maid.

It's Thursday, Mr. Hagen, she's off.

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Daylor told us to drop in.

He's angry at you, Mr. Hagen

for goin' on writin' those stories

about him after he asked you not to.

Uh-huh.

Now, what we're here for is not to hurt you

or anything like that, it's, uh

it's more like a warning.

Yeah, friendly like, you know.

Leave him go.

Now, what I would suggest, Mr. Hagen

is maybe from now on

you get after the basketball boys

and the wrestlin' and the horses.

They could stand a lot of cleanin' up.

But you leave the fights alone or

they gotta clean you up.

I make myself clear?

I'll have that laundered for you.

Oh, no, nothing at all.

Well, it was nice seeing you again, Mr. Hagen.

I just hope we don't have to meet no more.

Oh, I didn't know you had friends.

This is Mr. Johnny O. My wife.

- How do you do? - Nick and Eddie.

- How do you do? - Hello.

- What happened to your lip? - Oh.

Uh, uh, just an accident.

Johnny O here was showing me

how he knocked out Bob Fitzsimmons.

Well, boys, I hate to push you out.

Oh, sure, sure, we was just going, Mr. Hagen.

- This way, boys. - Mrs. Hagen.

Bye, Mr. O.

So long, Mr. Hagen.

Nice of you boys to come by.

Uh, Mr. Hagen, remember.

No more articles about Mr. Daylor, huh.

Is your lip alright?

It's fine.

People should be more careful.

He might have hurt you.

Not Johnny O.

Well, how did the rehearsal go?

- I came home. - Oh?

Listen, Mike, there's something on my mind about us.

Uh, about me really because it happened before I met you.

But I don't believe in keeping things secret.

Before I met you there was a man.

- Oh, Zachary Wilde. - Another man.

- Oh, the boy from Yale. - Oh, he was nothing.

Neither was that artist I told you about.

I mean, another man.

Not that there was anything really wrong.

Oh, I'm sure of that.

But I wanted to tell you anyway.

It's been on my mind.

And I believe in being frank

and above board.

If there's one thing I've learned in this world

it's the exact moment when not to be frank

and above board.

Okay, dear.

- What's for dinner? - Lori Shannon!

For dinner?

You know what I'm talking about.

All that elaborate pretending.

"How do you do, Miss Shannon? How do you do, Mr. Hagen?

So nice to meet you." I introduced you.

You let me introduce you and all the time--

Now, wait, just a minute, I didn't even know--

Why didn't you tell me about her?

- What's the big secret? - I don't know, what-what--

No! You didn't say a word. "How do you do..

What are you talking about?

You let me find out for myself while everybody knows

and is laughing behind my back.

- You're not making sense. - I'm making excellent sense.

Lori Shannon. She's the girl in your show.

That we already know.

What else is she or was she, or is she?

Lori Shannon. Are you out of your mind?

- The picture. - Wha-wha-what picture?

The picture in your apartment.

I recognized her from that picture.

- Lori Shannon? - Who else are we talking about?

- In my apartment? - In your apartment!

Whe-whe-where's the picture? Show me the picture.

- I tore it up. - You tore...

Oh-oh-oh!

Well, you know in a law court--

No, we're not in a law court yet.

Just because you happen to find a picture of a gi...

You found a picture of a girl in my apartment?

Not a girl. Lori Shannon.

You knew her. Why didn't you say so?

Lori Shannon.

Listen, that day at the-the-that style show

she walked in, right?

I never saw her in my life.

If she knew me, why didn't she say so?

Now who's not making sense?

If you'd listen a second, just because

you happened to find a picture...

Oh!

I'm sorry.

How is it that you cannot stand

the sight of blood on anyone except me?

Mi.. Mike!

Mike, I want to talk to you.

Mike, I wanna...

Excuse me, I'm due at the office.

We've got to settle this.

Listen, Mike, I want to talk to you, just...

Well, that settles it. Forget all about Mart Daylor.

- Forget him? - Forget him.

You're a lousy newspaperman, but you're

not worth a nickel to me lying stiff in some alley.

Now, wait a minute. I've been after Daylor for two years.

All I need is a couple of weeks to finish the job.

Three, at the outside. I've got affidavits coming in.

Alright. You want to dig your own grave?

I'll lend you a shovel. Only on my terms.

I'll give you three weeks, not a day more.

We'll find you some place to hide.

The Gage Hotel around the corner.

We'll date line your stories from out of town.

You're following the Yankees on the road.

Only you won't be there

so the bully boys can't catch up to you.

Meanwhile, lay it on Daylor with everything you got.

And also, meanwhile, you're not to set one foot

out of that hotel room for three weeks.

- Agreed? - What will I tell my wife?

Tell her the truth.

What, that I'm on the lam from the mob?

The first thing she'll do is faint.

And don't tell me your problems.

I'm no marriage counsellor.

Now, go on. Get out of here and get packed.

I'll send a copy boy over every day to pick up your stuff.

And don't answer the phone no matter what.

Well, one more thing, you'll need

somebody around for protection.

Is Maxie-Maxie Stultz been around?

- Oh, he is. Fine. Send him in. - Maxie?

Three weeks with Maxie Stultz, I'll be punchier than he is.

- No! - Shut up!

- Maxie, come in here. - Hi, Mike.

Maxie.

Maxie, Maxie.

Maxie, Maxie, listen carefully.

There are some mugs in town

that don't like Mike Hagen.

They want to hurt him. See?

There. That's the ticket, Maxie.

That's the ticket. You protect him, see?

You protect... Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, Maxie, listen!

You stay right

next to Mike Hagen.

Day and night.

No matter where he goes.

Do you get it, Maxie?

That's the ticket. Now, get him out of here.

Maxie, for the love of...

Maxie.

Maxie, will you let go just for a minute, please?

Till I get some circulation? Thank you.

I going to protect you, huh, Mr. Hagen?

I stay with you every minute, right?

- Right. - Anybody looks cross-eyed.

- Right? - Right.

Anybody looks cross-eyed.

Anybody. Right?

- Right? - Right!

- You looking cross-eyed? - Maxie, no.

He lookin' cross-eyed.

Well, uh, he always looks like that.

He lost a horse. It affected his mind.

Mike, I've been trying to reach...

Oh!

- I believe you've met Maxie. - Of course.

- How are you, Mr. Maxie? - I'm makin' a comeback.

Oh.

Maxie came up from the office with me.

How nice.

Now, look, uh...

...you're gonna think this is pretty strange

coming right at this time but I have to leave for a while.

- Leave where? - Here.

Well, I don't think that's strange at all.

Where are you going, to the club?

No, I'm not going to the club. I don't belong to a club.

Something has come up.

Something...very important.

I don't want you to be upset, but...

Well, you see, I'd like...

Maxie, will you stand over there for a minute?

Please? Thank you.

I'd like to take you into my confidence.

- May I do that? - That would be a novelty.

Please, let's not assume attitudes.

As far as that matter is concerned

I don't even want to discuss it.

This other thing is too important.

- Can you keep a secret? - Not as well as you can.

Okay. Excuse me, I've got to pack.

Excuse me, lady, got to pack.

I still don't know where you're going.

Chicago. Then on the road.

For how long?

Three weeks.

I'm gonna follow the Yankees.

Is that the big secret?

You-you're going to follow the Yankees?

Yeah, they shouldn't know about it.

Mike...

Mike, can I talk to you alone, please?

- Well, what about? - You know what about.

I-I want to sit...

- How have you been, Mr. Maxie? - He's been fine.

I was conversing with Mr. Maxie.

Mr. Maxie doesn't know what you're talking about.

You're packing a shoe with a hole in it.

You only wear these when you're writing.

I'll be doing some writing on the road.

Maxie, please.

It was pretty obvious, this sudden trip.

And bringing Mr. Maxie home so he wouldn't have to talk.

I decided to pump Mr. Maxie.

Well, Mr. Maxie.

Are you taking Mike to the plane?

That's right. Every place.

Oh, then you're not going with him.

That's right. Every place.

Well, then you'll be following the Yankees, too?

- Who? - You.

You and Mike.

That's right. Every second, day and night.

Anybody looks cross-eyed.

- Who? - Cross-eyed.

Shut up, Maxie.

I'll call you tomorrow, as soon as I know what hotel.

Let's go, Maxie.

Well, so long, Marilia.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

I hope you two will be very happy.

Thank you very much.

Mr. Higginsbury and Mr...

Mr. Smith.

How do you spell "Smith"?

Make a cross. Keys, please.

Okay.

Suite 4-0-6.

How do you do, miss?

I'll be placing a couple of local calls now and then

but I'd like the party to think I'm out of town.

So you say that Chicago is calling

or Kansas City or whatever I tell you.

- Understand? - No.

That make it any clearer?

- Yes. - Good.

My first night away from Marilia since we were married.

I couldn't sleep.

Four times I picked up the phone

to make a clean breast of everything

and four times saner judgment prevailed.

Here I was, happily married

to the loveliest creature in New York.

And here I was, shacked up in a hotel

with a punchy ex-middleweight.

I began to hate Ned Hammerstein.

Maxie Stultz was no cure for the blues either.

3 o'clock in the morning and all he did

was stare at the ceiling.

Suddenly, I remembered

He'd been staring like that since 11:30.

I realized it then.

Maxie had died!

Maxie.

Maxie!

Okay, Maxie. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, Maxie.

Stop!

Where-who? Where-who? Cross-eyed?

It's alright, boy. It's okay.

Nothing. Forget it.

Forget it. Alright.

Circle seven, o-five-nine-eight.

- Hello? - Ned?

Yeah? Oh, Mike.

I just wanted to tell you.

Maxie Stultz sleeps with his eyes open.

Why, you crumb! You thieving no good--

What was that?

Maxie Stultz sleeps with his eyes open.

Thanks for a civil answer.

Our first night apart.

I didn't know a person could be so miserable.

By 3:00 a.m., I had convinced myself that Mike was innocent.

After all, maybe he had never known Lori Shannon.

Maybe the whole thing was a mistake.

That's what it was, a horrible mistake.

Only what about the photograph?

Alright, what about the photograph?

A man can have a picture of a woman

without knowing her, can't he?

No...and put it this way,

Mike's a newspaper man, he meets all kinds of people

He could have met Miss Shannon in a purely business fashion.

Purely business.

Sure, but Miss Shannon is no hockey player.

Oh, shut up.

My mind began drawing nasty little pictures

of Mike and Lori Shannon.

I saw them laughing together at some restaurant.

I saw them out dancing.

I saw him bringing her home.

I saw him take her into the living room.

I saw him kiss her.

I saw him...

♪♪ But when you've got love you're high ♪♪

♪♪ And your song is a gay refrain ♪♪

♪♪ A happy strain that ♪♪

♪♪ Sings out the news ♪♪

♪♪ Don't let the night go to waste ♪♪

♪♪ Looking for ways to say I love you ♪♪

♪♪ Take your cue from the birds ♪♪

What would happen if I quit the show?

I'd shoot myself.

Now, listen, Madame X, as I understand it

your Michael has departed for Chicago

firmly protesting his innocence.

What does that prove? Nothing.

♪♪ Music is better ♪♪

♪♪ Than love ♪♪

Not bad, sweetie, you go to your room

and I'll clean it up.

All four of the parts right over here.

Take it from just before the circle.

What have you proved? Also nothing.

I admit I could be wrong.

I just can't stand not knowing

and I certainly can't ask her.

"Pardon me, Miss Shannon, but was my husband

ever in love with you?"

It's unthinkable.

Hm, definitely.

So I have an idea.

- What? - You ask her.

- Oh, no. - Oh, Zach, you can do it.

All you have to do is broach the subject

as tastefully as possible.

Find out if she ever knew him and then...tell me about it.

Marilia, deceit and collusion

are completely out of tune with your character.

I know it, but please, Zach

I can't go on working like this.

I'll speak to her right away.

Thank you.

Yes?

Oh, come in, Mr. Wilde.

Am I disturbing you?

Oh, not at all.

- May I? - Oh, by all means.

Miss Shannon, this is a rather...

...rather delicate matter.

You see, I-I hate to intrude

but... Er, uh, playful little fellow, isn't he?

Pierro! I'm so sorry.

- That's alright. - Come along now.

Over here, you're a naughty dog.

Alright, now, sit.

That's a good boy.

Miss Shannon, I'm usually a man of quite a few words

but I'll tr-try and make this as brief and tactful

as possible.

Yes.

What I have to ask has nothing whatsoever to do with this show

or our future business relationship

I want you to understand that.

Yes.

Miss Shannon, I'd like to know

and please answer very frankly

if I may feel free to call on you

at your apartment, and take you to dinner

as often as the...spirit moves us both.

In time, as you learn to know me better

I hope our friendship will ripen into something...

...shall we say more...neighbourly.

But you don't have to answer now.

I'd be delighted.

8:30 tonight?

Mm-hmm.

- Well? - I asked her point blank.

Miss Shannon never laid eyes on your husband

until that day at the fashion show.

Feel better?

Is this Mrs. Hagen?

Just a moment, please. Chicago calling.

Hello, Marilia? This is Mike.

What do you mean, where am I? I told you I'm in Chicago.

What? What hotel?

Uh, well, we're, we're at the Whitestone

but we're leaving here tonight.

Well, why can't you talk now? Who's there?

Oh, Zachary. Yeah, Zachary, sure.

Hmm?

Oh...oh, the whole crowd. You're working.

Hm. Well, uh...

Weather? Uh, the weather here?

Uh, well, it's-it's, uh, you know...

...it's, uh... H-hello, Marilia!

Marilia? I can't hear you.

Uh...hello? Hello, Marilia.

Yeah...I can hear you now.

It's hot here, Ninety-two.

Well, I guess that's about all if you're busy.

I just wanted to say hello.

Oh, okay.

Well...I'll call you again in a couple of days.

'Bye.

I don't like Chicago.

I got a bad decision here once.

It's alright, Maxie. You go to sleep.

Open your eyes and go to sleep.

I'm in Boston.

We just got in. Cleveland.

Kansas City.

Hey, Mike, I just read your stuff.

It's great.

Keep your nose off the street

and you may win the Pulitzer prize.

Stick it out and Daylor will bite it off

Your job is to find Mike Hagen.

Who have you got working on it

a troupe of clowns?

Clowns?

In Chicago was Joey Golner.

This is not a good guy, eh?

In Boston, it was three boys

with Louey Gasto, merely the best.

- In Kansas City-- - Never mind the excuses!

Just give us some action, Milt, action!

You're wasting your time, Milt.

You're looking all over the place

and your eyes are in the way.

Hagen's not out of town, he's right here.

In New York?

What makes you think?

I'm guessing.

And I'm guessing right.

He's holed up somewhere right under our noses.

Trick is to bring him out in the open.

Any ideas?

I think so.

Johnny, round up a couple of boys

and be in my office tonight.

Let's go.

Oh, and, Johnny...

...I want real good boys.

Playtime is over.

Hello, honey, will you call that number again for me?

I'm in, uh, Detroit.

Oh, it's a nice town, Maxie. Lots of automobiles

you'll love it.

Hello, Marilia? How are you.

This is Gwen, Mr. Hagen.

Mrs. Hagen isn't here.

Oh, uh... Uh, when will she be back?

I don't know, she didn't say.

Uh, you know where she went?

No, I don't know where she went.

I'm here, Mike, I just don't want to talk, goodbye.

Now, wait a minute, what's going on?

I'm packing, that's what's going on.

Packing?

Um, where are you going?

Boston. The show's opening there

tomorrow night.

Yeah, yeah, the show.

You wouldn't happen to be going to Boston tomorrow

by any chance?

No, no, I wouldn't be.

I was sure you wouldn't. Goodbye.

Marilia, will you stop!

What's the matter?

Oh, it's funny you should ask that.

Oh, why should anything be the matter?

Of course, I don't eat and I don't sleep

but...oh, but outside of that everything's dandy.

Marilia, would you listen, please?

If you're still worried about that Lori Shannon business

you've got the whole thing all wrong.

I wouldn't have cared if only you'd told me!

"How do you do, Miss Sha.."

Alright, I've had enough of this!

I'll ask her myself.

Alright, Marilia. You do that.

I want you to.

And I will. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

This ain't Detroit.

Looks more like Chicago.

Hey, Mr. Hagen, you punchy?

I'm gonna do my best.

I had three quick ones

Which did me no good at all.

But strangely enough after the fourth

I found the solution to the whole problem.

I would see Lori that night and fix up a story.

Liquor, I have found, makes me very smart.

First, of course, I had to get rid of Maxie.

Boy, am I beat. Let's hit the hay, Maxie.

Sleep.

I was packing for Boston when the bell rang.

"It couldn't be", I thought. But it was.

- Hi. - Hi.

I, uh...I came up the stairs.

I didn't want the elevator boy...

Have you...got a drink?

Thanks.

Not now, boy.

Guess you're sort of surprised to see me.

- Mind if I sit down? - Please do.

What I came about...

Alright, boy, that's enough.

I came really because...

Will you stop?

Lori, There's something of the utmost importance

I have to discuss with you.

Not only...

This dog has very bad habits.

There was a time when you thought it was funny.

Yeah, well...

...my sense of humor has changed.

I...thought you were out of town.

Yeah, a lot of people think so.

Including your old friend, Mart Daylor?

I've been reading your column.

Where are you hiding out?

The Gage Hotel. For three weeks.

- Your wife must be delighted. - Well, she doesn't know.

I didn't tell her. She thinks that I...

Well, it's a big megillah.

How bad it is?

How's Marilia been acting lately toward you?

Hm...about the same.

What does that mean?

I think she's getting ready to slug me.

That's why I'm here.

You see, Marilia found a picture of you.

And she thinks that...

Well, you know what she thinks.

Anyway, she's gonna ask you about us.

So...I've got a story all worked out.

This could be interesting. How does it open?

Well...

...you're a girl from Wisconsin.

Up to there it's very logical.

Now, a friend of mine in Wisconsin

a halfback on the Green Bay Packers

- He-- - What's that?

It's a football team.

He sent me a picture of you.

Asked me to use my influence to get you a job.

You know, radio, TV, anything.

Alright...

...you came to my office...once.

I told you that I was sorry

that there was nothing that I could do for you.

And that was the end of the whole affair.

But...I forgot to throw out the picture.

And that's how Marilia happened to find it.

- Well? - I don't believe it.

Well, I don't expect you to believe it.

All I want is Marilia to believe it.

She won't believe it either.

Why?

Well, I read something like it once in a comic strip.

Even there they didn't believe it.

Hello?

Yes?

Oh, um...ye.. Hello, Mrs. Brown.

Uh, where?

W-why-why, of course.

Well, yes, I-I was in bed.

But that's perfectly al--

Well, um, could you just give me a few minutes?

Yes, al-alright.

What? What? What?

She's in the lobby. She went out without her purse

and she wants to borrow cab fare.

You mean she's coming up?

Why didn't you stop her?

How? Tell her I didn't have a dollar?

She doesn't want a dollar. She wants to find out...

I'll go down the stairs.

Fine, if you run into her tell her

about the Green Bay Packers.

Well, in here.

Listen, that story, it'll work, I know it.

Just-just get your facts straight.

Uh-uh, the-that fellow, he's uh, err...

Nordley was his name, Frank Nordley.

He's-he's a friend of yours.

The Green Bay Packers, j-just--

I've played this scene before, I thought.

In a blackout on the borscht circuit.

- Hello! - Oh!

Oh, what a sweet dog.

Ah, this is the silliest thing.

- I-I'm terribly sorry. - Oh, that's alright

We were all working at Zach's tonight

and...I decided the air would do me good...

...so I walked till I almost fell down

and there I was, no purse.

I-I hope you weren't asleep.

Oh, no.

Oh, my! What a lovely place you have.

Did you do it yourself?

Well, yes, it's about--

Oh, I love your drapes.

Oh, what a beautiful chest.

Could I get you a drink?

Oh, no, thanks. I will have a cigarette though.

- Just there. - Oh, thank you.

I'll, uh, get my purse.

Some day I'm going to design a purse you can't forget.

It'll have a little bell or something that tinkles madly

whenever you leave it behind.

Good idea.

Will, uh, five dollars be enough?

Oh, heavens, yes, it's only a mile or so.

Thank you.

Do you know, I have a real phobia

about taxi drivers.

I could've gone to the apartment

and asked him to wait.

But whenever I do that, I'm always afraid

they'll think I'm trying to cheat them or something.

Do you have a fear like tha...

I could say I didn't know I had it

but I'm a very bad liar, Miss Shannon.

I suppose you've noticed that.

Maybe you just haven't had enough practice.

I came here tonight for a very definite reason.

To ask you a question.

At the moment I feel like a fool so I've decided

not to ask it tonight or ever. I hope you'll forgive me.

- Of course. - Thank you.

I must say, you've been very understanding about this.

I really do appreciate it.

Furthermore, I'd like to apologize

for the way I've been acting lately.

Oh, I don't think I've been aware of anything.

Really?

Surely you must have noticed that twice during the last week

while pinning material on you I've jabbed you in the derriere.

- Oh, that... - I did it purposely.

Really?

Well, anyway, I'm...I'm sorry and-and it won't happen again.

I had the silly idea I was supposed to be jealous of you.

Thank heaven I've come to my senses.

Please try to forget I ever came here tonight.

Marilia, what are you doing here?

Marilia!

Marilia!

There's no explanation for what you did to me.

I don't even want to listen to you.

- Come back here now. - Taxi! Taxi!

You're jumping to the wrong conclusions, altogether.

- Ooh, taxi! - You don't want a taxi.

Oh! Don't you even touch me. You take your hands off me!

You mustn't be deceived by appearances.

Appearances are very deceiving.

- I don't want to hear why. - I was up there.

Yes, but why?

- Taxi! Taxi! - Will you listen to me?

Just for once in your life, will you listen to me?

- Marilia! - Taxi!

- Listen, now you listen-- - Oh, take your hands off me!

When you said you were going to ask Lori Shannon about us

I just dropped over to see her.

- From Detroit? - I haven't been in Detroit.

I-I've been in a hotel for two weeks.

Right here. Hiding out.

That's right, hiding out!

Have you been drinking?

Of course. A hotel drinker.

- Oh, no! Wait. - That's the way I met you.

And that's the way I'm leaving you.

- Taxi! Taxi! - Just a minute, come back.

Oh, will you let me go? I told you I hate that.

Don't get in that cab, Marilia!

Don't you dri... Don't you drive that cab away

I'm telling you. Don't drive it away.

Stop! Stop, I say!

Come back, Marilia!

Marilia? Marilia!

Look, officer, I've got plenty of trouble tonight

I don't need any from you.

I'm a fighter, you know

and a fighter needs lots of sleep.

So I'm sleeping in the bed

and I'm dreaming like, you know.

But all of a sudden I wake up.

I look around.

I look in the bed for Mr. Hagen.

But he ain't there, so I don't see him.

So I think maybe he's in the parlor.

So...so I go in the parlor.

I look all around good, but I don't find him.

"Boy", I

Boy..

So I think maybe

he go downstairs.

So I go down the stairs to the lobby, like.

And I don't find him no place.

"Holy smoke", I say.

Holy smoke.

Eh, uh, ain't you Maxie Stultz?

That's right, Maxie Stultz. That's right.

Don't you remember me, Charlie Arneg?

Yeah, sure, that's right.

Did you see Mr. Hagen, Charlie?

No, Maxie, Mr. Hagen's in Detroit.

Huh? Where?

Detroit. See?

Says right here in the paper.

"Mike Hagen is in Detroit."

Where am I, Charlie?

New York, Maxie.

Then Mr. Hagen is in New York, too.

Here, in this hotel?

That's right. He left his room.

I got to protect him.

Where have you been, Mr. Hagen?

Alright, alright, upstairs.

You've been in Detroit, Mr. Hagen?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There is a old saying which says

"It is not who you know that matters

in this world but what you know."

For instance, I know that Mike Hagen

is hiding out in the Gage Hotel.

This is a nice slice of information

which, dropped in the right company

could net me a nice piece of change.

Next day, I start hanging around

with Marty Daylor's boys.

And I learned something that is hot.

Real hot.

And worth even more to Mike Hagen

than I could get from Marty Daylor.

Hiya, Max. Eh, Mr. Higginsbury in?

Who?

Mr. Hagen, uh, where is he?

Shut that door, Maxie.

Mike, boy.

How did you know where I was?

Now, relax, Mike, boy.

I...I meet Maxie here in the lobby last night.

Then I see you come in.

Yeah? What do you want?

I got a nice slice of information for you.

Very warm...

Now, I could perhaps let you have

for a, uh, Willie McKinley.

If that's what I think it is

the answer is "No".

Okay. It's too bad

I can't get to Mrs. Hagen on time.

Now, considering how warm this slice really is

I think it's a very fair fee, Mike.

What's Mrs. Hagen got to do with this?

Uh, William McKinley. A U.S. old president

uh, cooled around 1900.

- A half a grand. - I don't have it on me.

Look, I'm not poor enough to have that much on me.

Alright, alright, I'll show you

Charlie's heart is in the right place.

From you, I would take paper.

Uh, for a leave of, say, about 30 days.

- Is hotel stationery legal? - Without a doubt.

Uh, I, the undersigned...

...promise to pay to Charles Arneg.

Ah...make it Charles, will you, Mike.

Five-hundred bucks...

...30 days from the above date.

Alright, what about Mrs. Hagen?

Mart Daylor's boys are putting the snatch

on Mrs. Hagen tonight.

- In Boston. - How do you know?

Well...I invest in a few beers with the right people.

Uh, they cannot find you, so naturally they got to grab

the next best thing, your wife.

Right after the show.

Uh, none of that "hold them for ransom" jazz

or that old-fashioned stuff.

They'll probably tuck her away for a few days

in a little hideout and make a few scars maybe...

- Hello? Hello? Hello! - Uh...Michael.

If you're calling the cops, I think this is a very bad move.

Now suppose, for argument's sake

the snatch is on?

Now, the boys have got to dump your wife someplace

and when they dump her, she's liable to be very, very cold.

Hello. Hello!

Listen, get me the Palace Theater in Boston.

Backstage. I'll talk to anybody.

Well, that's the whole slice. I'll see you around, huh, Mike.

H-hey! Wait a minute, where do you think you're going?

Uh, over to the drug store

to invest in a malted.

With Mart Daylor maybe

so you can earn another McKinley?

Mike, a guy's got to make his own way in this world

but a thing like that, I just--

Maxie! Cross-eyed!

Now, Max, Max, boy, you remember me?

Charlie? Charlie Arneg?

Hello? I want to speak to Mrs. Michael Hagen.

Uh, M-Marilia Brown, right away.

Impossible, I can't get her to the phone now.

The curtain just went up.

Listen, this is her husband. I've got to talk to her.

It's a matter of life and death. Life and death.

Don't you understand? The curtain has--

You hear me? Life and death.

Alright, alright!

Hurry up, girls, come on!

Come on, girls. Let's get a move on now.

Here we go.

A matter of life and death.

There was a Hagenism if I ever heard one.

No dice.

Listen, you!

Hello!Hello?

- Come on, Maxie. - Where? What? Wha...

We're going to Boston.

Again?

Move!

Marilia. Marilia, come here with me.

Look, there's something the matter with Lori's next change.

They can't fix it. Will you take a look?

Zachary, when I agreed to come up here, I--

Now, Marilia, don't be like that.

They-the-they... She can't go on the stage.

- You can't do that, I-- - Please, Marilia!

Oh, Mrs. Hagen, it's just terrible.

Well, they cleaned this dress

and tacked it back. I don't know how.

Looks alright to me. What's the matter?

Well, in the first place, I can't breathe.

What's wrong with that?

Oh...well, but she

she has to be cut all over.

Fine.

Where shall we start?

Wherever you think.

You can go now, Evelyn, Miss Brown will take care of me.

Shall we, uh, talk?

Let's! What about?

Ooh, let's talk about...Michael Hagen.

Interesting subject. You first.

Of course, I knew Mike.

I knew him very well.

But, I lost him when you came along.

He's quite a man, Michael Hagen.

No saint, of course.

But you must have suspected that before you married him.

Maybe, even, that was why you married him.

I don't think you really minded that he'd once been in love

with another woman.

You just couldn't take meeting her.

Small-minded.

It could be your early upbringing.

You realize, of course, I have a weapon in my hand.

Would it be small-minded to ask you

what my husband was doing in your apartment

at night, pie-eyed?

Um...just one right here and I think we'll have it.

Mike never left town, you know.

He was in New York all the time.

So he told me.

Did he tell you why?

He tried to.

You should've listened.

Not that you'd care for it.

I'm sure you could never stand anything

that approached physical violence.

Up to the moment, no.

But I'm beginning to find the prospect very alluring.

I still haven't heard what my husband was doing

shoeless in your apartment.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

He came there that night to make up a lie about us.

Give him a chance and he'll tell it to you sometime.

A real dilly. You'll love it.

Give me a hint.

No, I don't want to spoil it for you.

But...if I were you...

...I'd believe it.

After all, he's only lying about something

that happened before he met you.

He has nothing to lie about since.

Take my word for it.

That's what I'd like to find sometime.

The kind of man who'd love me so much

that he'd do anything, no matter how silly

just so I'd never be hurt.

That's what I've been looking for.

And I darn near had it.

It's alright now, Miss Shannon.

Thank you, Mrs. Hagen.

Where are you?

In New York, with Mike.

Why don't you leave?

Everything is alright.

You're just in the way here now.

Thank you, Zach.

Mrs. Hagen.

I'm Johnnie O.

We was introduced by your husband.

Of course. How are you, Mr. O?

Mrs. Hagen, your husband is in trouble.

- Trouble? What kind of trouble? - Bad.

- Matter of life and death. - Oh, no.

He wants to see you, Mrs. Hagen.

He's been hidin' out, printin' those articles about Mr. Daylor

and some very rough people have put the finger on him.

Now, I could take you to him right away

there's a plane in about 20 minutes--

Please! Oh, please.

Good night, Miss Brown.

Who are they? Oh, no! Let me go!

The punchy. Get the punchy!

Mike!

Maxie! Cross-eyed!

Maxie, cross-eyed!

Mike!

Mike!

Help...oh!

Help! Somebody, help!

Cross-eyed. Cross-eyed.

I realized what was happening

Maxie couldn't tell the good guys from the bad.

- Maxie! - Cross-eyed.

Help! Ah!

Here, you fellows, we can't have this sort of thing.

There's a show going on in here.

Don't you realize this is an opening night?

Would you mind telling me what this--

No, Maxie! No!

Cross-eyed.

Help!

Mike!

Get that big punchy.

Stop it, you!

Oh, both of you, stop.

Uh!

Marilia, will you get in here? There's trouble

with the costumes. Nobody can--

Foul!

Uh!

Ah!

Aah!

There he is!

Aah!

- Randy, boy. - Hi, Mike.

Marilia!

Marilia! Are you alright?

- Are you alright, dear? - Mike, Oh, Mike!

- Are you all right? - Sure, sure, I'm okay.

Did they hurt you? Oh, my poor darling.

Are you alright, sweetheart?

- Are you sure you're fine? - Yes.

Now, look. Right now before anything

I want to straighten you out on the Lori Shannon thing.

Oh, Mike, you don't have to. Please, believe me.

No, no, I want to. Now, listen.

Lori Shannon comes from Wisconsin.

A friend of mine there, on the Green Bay Packers

He sent me a picture of her.

Asked me to use my influence to get her a job.

Lori was right, it was a real dilly.

But...I forgot to get rid of the picture.

And that's how you found it.

- Oh. - See?

Mike, darling.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

Just for the record.

Mart Daylor was convicted

and sentenced to three to five years.

He was released after eight months, for good behaviour.

But his reputation as a crook was ruined

and he faded into obscurity.

Mike and I are still together, of course.

We never argue anymore, and-and when we do

it-it never lasts more than a week or two.

We are really very happily married.

We don't often mention Lori Shannon in our household.

Though, I understand she's quite happy, too.

Well...why shouldn't I be?

Zachary and I have been engaged...for some time.

That's enough, boy.

Now, stop.

Oh...well, I think that about sums up the story.

Unless, of course, Maxie has something to add.

I'm makin' a comeback, you know?