Original subtitles

Y'’all come down to

the Baskets Family Rodeo.

If we all stay in our own lanesas business partners,

-we can get somewhere. -[camera shutter clicks] -[laughs]

You'’re stealing Christine'’s treadmill?

-It'’s called collateral. -You'’re not a French cloon.

MRS. BASKETS: Be proud '’cause you'’re a Bakersfield cloon.

-Propose what? -Marriage.

To your mom.

I just want to tell you, you have my blessing.

-Really? -Well, somebody

around here has to get married.

-PEOPLE: Ten. Nine. Eight. -[phone ringing]

-Hello? -PENELOPE [over phone]: Chips!

-PEOPLE: Seven. -Hey, Penelope. PENELOPE: Happy New Year!

-PEOPLE: Five. Four. -Christine?

-I want to ask you something. -PEOPLE: Three. Two.

-What? -PEOPLE: One.

PEOPLE: Happy New Year!

PENELOPE: Chip, I'’m coming to L.A. to record an album.

Wow. Los Angeles. That'’s, uh...

I mean, it'’s not as inspiring as Paris, but congratulations.

Thank you.

So, Chip, what do you think?

Should I rent a carwhile I'’m in Los Angeles or...?

What?!

-MRS. BASKETS: Chip! -Hold on. What'’s that?

Should I rent a car when I'’m in Los Angeles?

-A car... Um... -[distant, excited chatter]

Uh, well are you...?

Um... You know, uh, a car...

Well, you'’re-you're gonna be recording all day, right?

Sort of.

Uh... no. Okay, here. Um... no.

You don'’t... you don't... you don'’t need a car.

Plus, most of the drivers in Los Angeles

are stoned out of their minds.

-I-I don'’t drive. -I know.

Well, maybe Martha can be my chauffeur?

-PEOPLE: Chip! -I'’ll be right down! I promise you!

Martha never leaves Bakersfield.She'’s-she's a townie.

-MRS. BASKETS: Chip! -Hold on!

-Your mother'’s engaged! -Hey, hey, hey.

Penelope, can-can I call you later?

[dog barks, bird squawking]

MRS. BASKETS: Say good-bye to your house.

♪ We are going out of here...♪

[car starts]

-[car dinging] -Oh, God, turn that off.

-Hey, Mom, we'’re leaving! -[music stops]

See you there!

Come on, Ronnie. Time to go.

-[meows] -Get in here.

We'’re going to the new house. It'’s not far.

The smell should be aboutthe same, except for Ken'’s musk.

[sighs]

Hmm.

See you, house.

So much smaller when it'’s empty.

Breaker, breaker.

Anybody copy?

Oh, God, it'’s not a good time for the walkie!

Dale, we got some human trash here

trying to steal your treadmill.

Copy that. And 10-4. Over. [walkie-talkie chirps]

[gunshot]

Freeze! [chuckles]

I should have figured it was you, Chip.

Since when did you become-- Halt.

Since when did you become Mama'’s little errand boy?

Ever since you decided to retire from the rodeo.

-What... what is going on?! -Retire...

It'’s a sabbatical! You can have the treadmill.

-Fine. -[engine starts]

-Okay, straighten it out. -[rhythmic beeping]

Straight back now.

Yup. Come on.

MRS. BASKETS: God. Is this Sherwin-Williams?

I don'’t think so.

Is this the color I picked or the primer?

No, it'’s the color.

I couldn'’t have picked this.

What, you don'’t like it?

Want to do something different?

This can'’t be Casa Blanca, can it?

Hold up a sec, guys.

Looks more like canary.

Oh, I hate birds.

KEN: Honey, it'’s only paint.

-Let'’s just paint it again. -[cat mewing]

-You'’re right. -Hold on. Susan, it'’s fine, honey. Relax.

-[mews] -Uh, Christine, let me call you back.

-Uh, Susan hates this travel stuff. -Okay.

Yeah, I'’ll call you when I get settled in at the hotel.

-Love you. -I love you, too.

Here you go, Jeff.

Thank you, Scooty.

Here you go, Hank.

Thanks so much, Nick.

Thank you, Dean.

Here you go, Junior.

Here you go, Steph.

Thanks so much.

Thanks for your help! We'’ll see you next season!

Okay, you ready for this meeting, guys?

-Is your mom coming?-No, she'’s doing wedding stuff.

I don'’t think she's coming.

Oh, good. My butt'’s gone to sleep in this chair.

That'’s fine. Yeah, that's fine.

So, listen, now that it'’s the off-season,

I think we need to find

new ways to generate some incomefor the rodeo.

-Okay. -Any ideas?

-Nope. -Okay.

Here'’s what I've got.

Since we havethis wonderful venue, the rodeo,

what if we attract circus groups?

Or-or-or traveling troupes of-of jugglers

and jesters, and we attract clowns from all parts

of the world, and maybe Bakersfield bec...

can become a mecca for-for-for.... for clowning?

What do you think?

Well, I don'’t know so much about that...

buffoon clownery and all that fannagarall,

but the Boot Fair and Belt Festival--

they always rent the place.

Okay, yeah.

Well, that makes sense, I guess.

They pay good, and they'’re dependable.

A thousand dollars a weekend.

We sell our own... sell popcorn...

[muffled voice continues]

Mom?

MRS. BASKETS: In the dining room, honey.

I'’m up to my eyeballs in wedding rigmarole.

Oh, my God, these invitations--they'’re so...

Oh, terrible calligraphy.

-Oh. -Rodeo'’s pretty quiet.

[sighs] Everything'’s taken care of. Not much going on.

What do you mean "not much going on"?

You got to get something going.That'’s a business.

-Yeah, I know. Uh... -Okay.

I had a business-type meeting thing today.

And looks like we'’re gonna rent the rodeo out

to the, uh, Boot Fair and the Belt Expo.

Boots and Belts.

-I love it! -Yeah.

You deserve a cookie.

Double stuffed.

-Your favorite, aren'’t they? -Um... no, no.

-Not really? -No, but, uh, mm.

Oh, I'’m gonna have one, too.

You know, you don'’t think you want

-to eat a hundred Oreos, but you can. -No.

Oh, honey, you'’re gonna have to sleep in the gift wrap room

because your room'’s full of tarps.

That'’s fine.

And I need a color for your room.

Have you decided yet?

-No. -How about San Clemente Teal?

I like beige.

Beige? That'’s not a color, honey.

[chewing]

[sighs]

[air whooshing]

[sighs]

[sighs heavily]

[dialing]

[line ringing]

-[phone ringing] -[humming]

-Chip! -Hey.

Listen, I'’ve been rethinking

about what I told you about renting a car.

-Chip, I arrive tomorrow. -Oh, good.

Good. So I caught you just in time. Uh... [sighs]

I'’m worriedthat you'’re under the assumption

that there'’s some kind of European train

that links up to the airport, and that'’s not the case.

-I'’ll come get you. -No, no, no.

-Don'’t. It's too much hassle. -No.

It'’d be good. I'll just pick youup, we could have a chit-chat.

I could maybe take you to an American drive-thru.

Okay, sure.

-How much do you charge? -Well, it'’s free.

I'’m.... Uh, uh, I'm your friend.

Oh, Chippu, nothing in life is free.

Yeah, you'’re right about that.

Okay, listen.

I arrive at 7:00 in Los Angeles,but I'’ll text you

from my layover in Chicago, okay?

-Okay. Yeah, that... that would be... -Okay.

-Bye. Thank you. -Yeah, ciao.

Hmm.

Hey, I need to, uh, pick someone up

at the airport tonight. Can I borrow your car?

Sorry, Chip. I'’d let you use my car,

but I'’ve got to drive my mom around for a few days.

She just had cataract surgery.

Are we there yet?

Hey, Ms. Brooks. She looks like Roy Orbison.

You know, Chip, Costco Insurance

has partnerships with car rentalplaces all over town.

I could give you a 20% off coupon.

You'’re authorized to do that?

Well, try dropping my name.

They might really hook you up.

Hook me up? To what?

No. Mom, I was talking to Chip.

Chip? Who'’s Chip?

Okay, thanks so much.

-Bye, Ms. Brooks. -Bye.

Good luck with the welding classes.

What did he say?

Um, he thinks that you'’re goingto a welding class.

All right, so with your coupon

and the mention ofMartha Brooks, that'’ll be $129.

$129? I thought it'’d be around...

Well, I thought it'’d be around free.

Nothing in life is free.

You need to pay for insurance.

Yeah, I don'’t... It'’s just a half a day.

I don'’t need this stuff.

Well, let'’s say you get in an accident.

Now, you don'’t want collection agents

knocking on your door,trying to get your money, okay?

So, what you want to do is get this full coverage,

and that way, it'’ll cover everything,

and you can just walk away.

Just walk away, huh?

[phone chirps]

[whooshing]

[yells]

[groans]

What state is the car in now?

Well, the car won'’t go in reverse... or drive,

but the airbag works very well.

Okay. How are you doing now?

Um, listen, I'’m fine, but I'’m in a big rush, okay?

I just walked away, like you said.

Well, I did say that, but...

All right, Regina, I'’m... I'm ina rush. Thank you so much.

-Hello? -KEN: Hi.

My name is Susan. I'’m very happy to be here.

-[purring] -What is your name?

-I'’m Ronald Reagan. -[Ken gasps]

-Just call me "Ronnie." -Oh.

Oh, I love your face. It'’s so unusual.

I'’m from Colorado,

and I'’ve never lived with another cat before.

Well, you'’ll be fine here because my mom loves cats.

-Doesn'’t she? I'’m gonna get... Oh! -[door opens]

-Oh! -Hey, Mom. -Chip!

I need to borrow a car. Do you have the keys?

-What? My car keys? -Yeah.

[yowling] -[mutters] Cat!

What happened to your face?

No, I-I'’m fine, Mom. Hi, Ken. How are you?

-Hey, Chip. -Welcome to town.

-Hey, glad to be here. -Nice to see you.

-Mm-hmm. -What kind of shenanigans...?

Hey, Ken, do you have a...? Uh...

[quietly]: He'’s always doing these kind of things.

Hey, Ken, do you have car I can borrow?

I don'’t think he's fit to drive.

It'’s always something with him--money, car, keys.

Mom, a friend is relying on me.Can I borrow your car?

-No. -Why?

Well, at least let me put some Mercurochrome on this.

-CHIP: What? -Or a salve.

-I don'’t want your salves on my face. -Oh...

Well, you'’re gonna get an infection, and then what?

-He-he does have obligations. -What?

Well, why don'’t you take him then, Ken? Ken will take you.

I can do it myself, Mom. It'’s fine. I can...

Go ahead, Ken. Welcome to the family.

I'’ll take care of the cats.

[whispering]: I don'’t have gas money.

[sighs]

[door closes]

-[cat yowling] -Ronald?

KEN: I didn'’t know

we was going this far.

Might have to get some gas.

I should'’ve driven.

It'’s just to help out a friend.

Well, is this a friend or a "friend"?

I don'’t really know.

Friend. Yeah, friend.

Have you thought about what color

you want to paint your room?

I like plaid,or is that more of an attitude?

Yeah, that could be a little tricky.

You know, sometimes you put a color like that on the wall,

and you step back and look at itand go, "Wow, that'’s no good."

Or sometimes you love it,

and two years later, it'’s out of style.

How long are you planning on staying with us, Chip?

Uh, I don'’t know. I guess until I die?

Oh, God.

-[loud thudding, glass breaking]-Huh?

[both cats yowling]

Ronnie?

-[loud yowling] -Stop it, you two!

-What are you do...? Oh! -[glass breaking]

-[mewing] -Ronnie!

Susan!

-Susan. -[yowls]

Ow!

-Bad kitty. -[low yowl]

CHIP: There-there she is.

Penelope!

Oh... Chip.

-How are you? -How are you?

-Nice to see you. -Oh, so nice to see you, too.

-Have you been well? -Oh, it'’s... -[siren toots]

OFFICER [over speaker]: Colorado plates, move it along.

-KEN: Come on, you two! -Oh.

-Let me help you with this stuff. -Who is this?

Oh, that'’s, uh, my mom'’s boyfriend.

Your... your mom'’s boyfriend?

-Yeah, that'’s... that's Ken. -Oh.

He'’s having sex with my mom.

[horns honking]

Wow, Hollywood. Look-- Madame Tussauds.

CHIP: Yeah.

So, you know, uh, Chip and I were married

before his mother sent me away?

No, Chip never told me you guys were married.

-Yeah. -You never told him?

Uh...

And Christine sent you away?

-She did, yes. -[scoffs]

Because we had an arrangement, you know?

I needed a green card,

uh, Chip needed someone to love.

But, uh, Christine didn'’t think

it was a good idea, so...

she called my father, and...

-Hmm. Oh, I see. -Yeah.

I'’m sorry.

Mm, yes.

[Ken sighs]

Is she still destroying your life?

CHIP: Uh...

she-she'’s got...

She'’s better. Bit better.

That'’s a "yes." [laughs]

Hey, Ken, so you moved to Bakerfield

to marry a Basket just like me.

[both chuckle]

Mm-hmm.

I hope you'’re more luckier than me, though.

[laughs] Yeah, well, I hope so.

-[Penelope laughs] -Yeah.

It was good, though, really. It was good in the end.

After all, I went back to France,

and I dealt with my father, and...

-It'’s, uh, different status... -[phone ringing]

Ho-Hold on. Ho-Hold on, Penelope.

Let me take this call.

Hey, Chrissy.

Hey, the cats got in a big fight.

I just wanted to let you know.

Oh, no. Is Susan okay?

Yeah, I... I think she is.

-Chip? -Yes.

Did you decide on the paint for your room?

Is it gonna be Bluebird Breeze or Blue Boy Balloon?

Oh, I was...

Hello, Mama Baskets!

[sing-songy]: It'’s me, Penelope.

Ken... take me off speaker.

Okay, sweetie. Talk to you later.

-Bye. -[phone beeps]

God.

Didn'’t you say she got better?

She just doesn'’t... She...

She doesn'’t like to be on speakerphone.

[pop song playing]

-Hey, staying with us? Okay. -Uh, she is.

-Yeah, let me take that. No. -Oh, I got it.

You know, it'’s what we do. I can just...

I can just take it. No. Can I help you take that?

I was just gonna... just take it up to her room...

Whoa, careful, careful. Aah! My finger. Ow.

-Thanks. I'’ll get this. -Oh, yeah.

Uh, she flew in?

Yeah, she had a long flight.

Hey, Uber guy, can you pull outof here, please?

He'’s, uh... he'’s actually with me.

He'’s, uh, my, uh... He's my...

Hey, do you want me to call you stepdad or dad?

-How do...? -No, call me "Dad."

-Yeah, that'’s my dad. -Oh. So, I'’m sorry about that.

-Thank you.-Oh, yeah, I'’ll-I'll take that.

[Penelope and bellhop chuckle]

Well...

thank you so much.

It was so nice to see you.

Okay.

Ciao.

Good-bye.

Hey, Pene... Penelope?

-Penelope? -Yeah?

Did you want to maybe, uh, grab a bite to eat tonight?

Um...

Remember that place in Paris we used to go to go?

-that looked like a... -No. I'’m sorry. I'm so tired.

I just had a long flight, you know?

It'’s just that I'’m in Los Angeles,

and it'’s kind of neat for me.

I'’m stuck in Bakersfield.

I thought maybe...

Ah, right.

You'’re stuck with your mother.

You need to get away,

I think, hmm?

MAN: Penelope?

-I'’m sorry. I have to go. -Penelope?

-Good luck. -That you?

PENELOPE: Hey! Hey!

MAN: Come on in. The water'’s fine.

-[Penelope laughs] -Welcome to your future.

-PENELOPE [laughing]: Oh. -[horn toots loudly]

Okay.

Sorry, Chip. I was worried about my cat.

HUELL HOWSER: Hi, I'’m Huell Howser.

-And if you like animals, -[door closes]

-you should watch our video log -KEN: Christine?

-special tonight starring... -In here.

Hi, boys.

-Where'’s Susan? -Oh.

She ran in the, uh, gift wrap room,

and Ronnie-- I don'’t know wherehe ran, but...

They'’re just not connecting yet.It'’s gonna take time.

Oh, poor Susan. She must be so scared.

CHRISTINE: Well, Ronnie'’s scared.

-Chip, how are you? -I'’m fine, Mom, thank you.

You know what? She knows my scent.

I think I'’ll go sleepin the gift wrap room with her,

-keep her company. -MRS. BASKETS: Ken...

Just throw an old shirt in there.

-[sighs] -Now I'’m gonna be all alone.

[clicks her tongue]

Where are you gonna sleep, honey?

Uh, just... This is... this is good.

We made some of our most popular video logs...

-I'’m tired. -Yeah.

You know, your dad always likedto sleep in a chair.

...starting with the smallest pets we ever met.

[sighs]

Oh, Chri... Oh...

Christine? Oh.

Hey. Hello from down the hall.

[laughs] You know,

I'’m kind of used to talking to you on the screen like this.

I just wanted to say

I know how hard it must be for you and Susan.

I'’m a cat person, you know, so,

I really realize what you'’re going through.

I just wanted to say I... I understand.

Thank you, baby. I want you to know

that both Susan and I are very happy to be here.

-Aren'’t we, baby? See? -[purring]

Well, you tell Susan that I had a talk

with Ronald Reagan, and he'’s over it.

And he'’s gonna allow a Democratic cat in the house.

[chuckles]

-You registered the cat as a Democrat? -Yes.

-[both chuckle] -[Susan purrs]

And thank you so much for being nice to Chip.

-Yeah. -You know, I think

he'’s struggling with this move, too.

-Chip'’s a sensitive kid. -Yeah.

Oh, speak of the devil.

-Hey, Chip. -Hey, Mom.

Hey, Ken, I got to go. Good night, honey.

I'’ll see you in the morning.

Good night. I love y...

Chip, what are you doing?

-Did you wake up? -Hey, Mom.

Yeah, do you have a sleeping bagin any of the box?

I'’m chilly downstairs.

I did, but you know,

I kind of zone out when I'’m packing.

Come on in here.

-You know what you need? -What?

You need a hugfrom your mother who loves you.

-I'’m good. -Get in here

and cuddle with me a little bit.I miss that.

Mom, I'’m fine.

This is a California King.

No, thank you.

Come on.

[meows]

Oh.

You know, Ken'’s here now,and it'’s hard for us to adjust.

You know I'’m not trying to replace you, honey.

You'’re such a good boy. I just love you.

Have you, uh,

thought about a color of paint for your room?

Mom, I... I was...

I'’ve kind of been thinking

that maybe I'’m gonna move out,

-so, I... -[snoring]

[snoring]

[doorbell rings]

-Uncle Chip! -Hi.

-How are you? -Welcome, man.

Hi!

-Come in, come in. -Hi. -[door closes]

Come in, man. This is the palace.

Thank you guys so much for letting me stay here.

-I appreciate it. -Of course, man.

He'’s supposed to sleep with us for, like,

-a year or whatever, so... -Yeah, so you can

stay in his room tillhe'’s, like, one or even longer.

-Yeah. Do you want to hold him? -I'’m fine.

-He wants you to hold him. -Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, get him.

Here you go, Uncle Chippy. Get me!

-Oh. Oh. -Oh...

-Yes. -It'’s okay.

Hi.

-[Trinity chuckles] -Hi.

-Look at that. Natural. -Yes.

Uncle Chippy.

What'’s its name?

Well, we never would'’ve met

if it wasn'’t for you, so we named him...

-Chip. We named him Chip. -Chip.

-[Trinity laughs]-Named him Chip, like your name.

Chip. Yes!Welcome to the family, Uncle Chip.

JODE: You'’re in.

-Hi, Chip. -[crying]

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

[whistling melody]

♪