Original subtitles

Fuck Marc, what a frigh t!

How was your day?

What do I do with this guy in my house?

Well. And you?

Like always.

Since I met this interesting girl two weeks ago...

...who I almost ran over by the way.

lt has not happened again, nothing special.

Oh yeah? And what was so interesting?

Well... l do not know...

That thing that arouses in you the interest to know her...

...further.

Idiot! All are equal, they only think of fucking.

I went to buy ice cream.

Not knowing your tastes, l have chosen the classics.

Chocolate or strawberry?

Chocolate is good.

Ok, but do not take it as a substitute for sex...

God, I cannot. I have to get rid of him... But... How do I tell him?

Thank you sweetheart.

Honey? l called him honey?

Look, l cannot, sorry. You had better go home.

What? Now what's wrong?

It was not a good idea for you to come to my house so soon.

But you are the one who suggested l came!

You see we're already arguing.

Please, look... go home.

And, if it is any comfort to you: l'm very bad in bed...

...yes, very bad, I do not enjoy it, do you hear? I-do-not-enjoy-sex.

Agate?

What? Sorry, what did you say?

What if we go to bed?

Yes, yes. Sure.

*

* *

God . What's up?

Are you a virgin?

I really like you AGATE and I really think you have something very special.

But l really don't know what problem you have with me.

No, look Marc, it is not you. I'm not able to enjoy it as I would like.

It's...

I feel a barrier that is. . .

It has happened to me many times that...

...each time I have more fear of sex.

Well, I promise I'll find a way to help you overcome this barrier.

l love you.

A disorder involving the inability to enjoy pleasure, we call it anhedonia...

...it is associated with a schizoid character called hebephrenia.

You have not noticed anything, right?

Look Marc, as a sexologist I am telling you that the girl you've met lives only in her mind most of time,

where she creates a fantasy world that isolates her from reality.

But physical pleasure, in any field, not just sex,

she does not perceive it or it does not meet her idealised expectations.

She needs to achieve pleasure with her body, and not with her mind, for pleasure.

You have to surprise her, awaken your senses.

See, hear, touch, smell and taste...

And a good way to wake them up, is... through food.

What is this surprise? Are we going shopping?

Did you know that the colours and flavours of food can change your mood?

Idiot.

But what were you doing to not hear the doorbell?

Nothing, cooking!

Nothing or cooking, which is it?

Do not get tired of sticking your nose in where it is not wanted?

Come, walk with me!

Mum, Dad! What are you doing here?

Your father is to blame for us turning up without warning.

I do not know what has gotten into my head today but I want...

Hello!

Mum, Dad... This is my boyfriend Marc.

Hi Marc, l saw you were... cooking.

Yeah, yeah, do you want to stay for dinner?

Shit, just messing.

Perfect, so we have time to get to know this... young man.

What were you making?

Well... we were about to put a cock in the oven.

A hen, well... I do not really know if it's a chicken or cock, how do you know?

We will put it in the oven.

This... this control will not work!

Daughter, a phone is vibrating.

Dad! Stop that, will you? Take it.

Better go to the kitchen to start preparing the... chicken.

Your father has been very strange over the last few days.

Really? And you tell me now, okay Mum?

You made me angry!

Are you crazy?

And then there's the plant.

What about the plant, Mother?

Does it seem normal that after 53 years of marriage your father does not want my plants in the house?

You are old!

At least I still like having sex.

Sure the plant to be glad of my sight.

You see, what I said? Now does nothing but give me bad answers.

Can you tell what's wrong?

Agate, you got a minute?

Right back, mom. Can you be quiet for a while, Dad?

I've left a hundred.

Are you crazy?

What happens now?

l don't know, they are very strange. Follow...

Again!

What?

Leave it and I'll take care of it. Take that off and get the chicken in the oven.

Oooohhh. l better remove this.

What about this, what is it? Something will, l say.

Leads to the oven... the oven control.

We need it for the chicken, may l?

Oven on!

What wonderful new technology...

Sorry Mum!

So... the postman.

Look daughter!

I'm going to prepare some snacks while the chicken is cooking.

Leave it and I'll take care of it. Talk to your father.

And bring some wine!

And now what's the matter with him?

Daughter, I have something important to tell you.

May l know what you said to your Mum?

What do you want to tell me Dad?

Daughter. Your father, after 53 years...

...says he hates me.

I have him my whole life, and what do l have to show for it?

Bastard!

Wretched was the day I married you!

Daughter...

l've been a wimp all my life.

I never told you how much you want for your mother not to bother...

Because... by getting jealous.

She always saw you as a competitor.

It was like a barrier between you and me.

But it's over, I cannot take any more.

You see?

I am blackmailing you, for comfort.

Here's to the family!

Daughter, this guy is a gem!

and he has a pint... exquisite.

Now that we're all together...

Your mother and l want to give you some news.

Dearest daughter... future son.

After 53 years of marriage...

l'm going to divorce your mother.

Water, Water!

lt smells like burning!

Marc, bring some water!

Turn it off, turn it off!

It is off!

Daughter, your mobile again.

Yes Mum, again. And this time I'll take it. Be right back.

Daddy please give me that!

Take it daughter, but it is off.

Get out of here there is too much smoke.

l'm going home. I have run out of patience!

Well, I'm staying! l'm not going back to sleep in the same bed with you!

No, no, no, Dad, not today.

Go home, both of you, and we'll talk later.

But...

You are not going to leave Mum alone in this state.

No buts.

Come on, raisin!

Goodbye son!

See you tomorrow!

Take my hand Mum.

Do you not see?

Sorry about the chicken Agate.

But how can you be so insensitive?

I'm sorry Marc.

Agate?

Fuck! Agate, can you open the door? I'm peeing.

Agate, please open the door, l need to take a piss!

Just a moment, wait!

What are you doing, you asshole?

Agate...

Agate...

Agate, is...

Move it!

Asshole!

l think you're wrong Marc.

Agate he wants to be with you...

...and have sex.

We are on track Marc.

You have to get used to her mood swings.

She is testing you subconsciously.

She needs to know she can trust you.

And you need to surprise her.

Surprise is the wind that fuels the passion.

Call and repeat what you told me.

Please wait!

Have you come to take me shopping again?

I do not have to apologise... What l did was for you and for you only.

Agate, l'll give it a try. Stop and listen.

Tonight I want it to be different. l want to take you to a special place.

You better like me.

lnglourious heels.

A 'Diet of Sex'?

Trust me.

Namaste, namaste. Welcome. My name is Hardik.

Good evening. We have a reservation for Agate.

Yes, yes, of course.

Our special guests for tonight.

We have a very rich menu already prepared for you.

You do not have to choose anything.

Try... Come, come, come...

Come in, come in...

Come, come. Get comfortable.

Please... Nice huh?

Oh, no, no no. Better without shoes.

To be comfortable.

''King prawn butterfly'' and ''Pakora''.

Mmm. First time trying Indian food, right?

Best eaten with your hands.

Because eating with a fork is like caressing with gloves.

But first thanks for the food.

Namaste

Yesterday is only a dream... and tomorrow a vision.

So, pay attention to today because it is life.

The real life of life!

Thank you .

lt is a Hindu proverb. Have a great meal.

Ahh...

Hardik, means ''full of love''.

But in English also ''hard penis''.

Hardik, do you also eat without drinking?

But clueless. Now l bring ''Nimbu Pani'', an aphrodisiac for love.

So! Not here.

We can do it, this place is for that.

what? You brough t me here for that!

No, Agatha. I just want to help you overcome your barriers to pleasure, that was what I promised.

And finally, tea with cinnamon.

For digestion and passion.

Different faces.

Miss, l see big ball of love within you.

In India we say: if you squeeze oranges you get orange juice.

Well, l will not bother you anymore.

Namaste

Agate, l've enjoyed it, but if you want us to go.

Come on.

Are you not going to work?

No, I have taken the day off.

Shall l give you a hand with the Cupcakes?

What are you doing?

How are your parents?

I want to get rid of her.

Your mother?

No, the plant!

God . What's up?

I never told you how much you want for your mother not to bother...

I'm not able to enjoy it as l would like.

She always saw you as a competitor.

l feel a barrier that is...

She was like a barrier between you and me.

GLORIA WOODCOCK Sexologist.

You're a dream.

I hope not.

Your case is easily solved.

Call and say that you are leaving here.