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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,259 2 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,464 3 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,092 There is one day 4 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:54,304 even the most cynical New York woman dreams of all her life. 5 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,265 It'll be fabulous. Everything white. 6 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,642 White flowers, white tablecloths, white food. 7 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,435 W-H-I-T-E. White. 8 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:04,314 She imagines what she'll wear, the photographers, the toasts. 9 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:09,319 Everybody's celebrating the fact that she finally found a publisher. 10 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,572 It's her book-release party. 11 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,158 This is a sexy event, so don't be afraid to use color. 12 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,203 I'm not afraid of anything. How about pink? 13 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,080 Hot pink. 14 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,707 Pink! 15 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,542 16 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,628 Isn't it perfect? 17 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:30,549 -It's huge. -Huge space, huge book. 18 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,384 -Who's coming? -Everyone. 19 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,137 -Okay, this is cuckoo. -Guest list! 20 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,098 When your career is going better than ever, 21 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,809 it's hard not to get a big head. 22 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,230 Meanwhile, Miranda was back at the office, 23 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:48,400 and she was politically incorrectly happy to be there. 24 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,526 25 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,987 I have Walker Lewis calling. 26 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:54,740 I'll take that. 27 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,702 Miranda and Walker had shared one night of great sex BC. 28 00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,703 Before Child. 29 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,788 I'm so glad I wasn't waiting for your call. 30 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,665 I'm so glad you remember me. 31 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:04,833 Oh! 32 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,919 -I remember you. -Oh, I remember you, too. 33 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,047 I remember you naked. 34 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,842 So, how you been? What's new with you? 35 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,678 Nothing much. How about you? 36 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,973 I was hoping to take you on a very belated second date. 37 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,558 How about Thursday? 38 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,144 She invited him to be her plus-one at the book party 39 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,938 since she knew she'd be conveniently minus one. 40 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,024 Magda had already agreed to baby-sit. 41 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,275 42 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,943 Meanwhile, Charlotte was working 43 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,654 on her perfect plus-one. 44 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,864 Justin Anderson III. 45 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,244 Well, thanks for another lovely lunch and for walking me home. 46 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,579 My pleasure. 47 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,460 Justin was just in time 48 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:52,089 because Charlotte was finally ready for a new relationship. 49 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,091 - Oh! 50 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:59,054 -Good afternoon, Mrs. Collier. -Yes, it certainly was. 51 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,140 52 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,144 -And she's one of the friendly ones. -I think I'd better get back to work. 53 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,854 -Okay. Bye. -Bye. 54 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,650 I was in a new relationship, too, 55 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,068 with my publisher. 56 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,569 Hmm, okay, bye-bye. 57 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,364 I am so freaking excited about this party! 58 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,950 Seriously, Carrie, we are so golden. 59 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,452 People actually want to come to this book party. 60 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,414 All of Condé Nast is coming, including GQ, 61 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,624 which has actual straight men. 62 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,835 Someone better kiss me at this thing, that's all I gotta say. 63 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,462 So, it's not about selling books, it's about finding you a boyfriend. 64 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,172 65 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,590 Hey, Courtney-- Oh! 66 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,260 I didn't know you had somebody in here. I'm sorry. 67 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,011 Jack, what are you doing here? 68 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,263 Using the Xerox machine. 69 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,306 -You finished your second book? -No, my suicide note. 70 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,185 -Would you like a Save the Date card? -Please. 71 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,687 You know each other? 72 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,896 -No. -No. 73 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,108 Oh, Carrie Bradshaw. Her book of essays comes out this week. 74 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,609 Oh, very exciting. 75 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,112 Jack Berger. We published his first book last year. 76 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,196 Oh! 77 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,157 And your name is Berger? 78 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,284 Never heard of me. 79 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,536 What does that say about your publicity department? 80 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,912 Not your primary market. 81 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,498 Right, because she's not in my immediate family. 82 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,458 83 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,752 Jack wrote a hilarious comic novel that speaks to men 84 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,462 the same way your column speaks to women. 85 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,464 Yeah, except men don't buy hilarious comic novels. 86 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,048 That's the flaw in the plan. 87 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,177 -What's your book? -Half-off. That's what it's called now. 88 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,511 It's just half-off. 89 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,639 Sometimes, it's 75 cents on a card table on Sixth Avenue. 90 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,184 -Next to the incense. -Exactly. 91 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,978 You two should talk because he knows the whole deal, 92 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,063 the party, the signings, the reading, the tour. 93 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,441 94 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,735 Minutes later, 95 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:40,113 Jack Berger and I slowed down for a little fast food. 96 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:43,116 I'm not so much feeding them as I'm hitting them. 97 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,242 Yes, I see that. 98 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,995 Did the man have a little repressed anger, 99 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,081 or did he just dislike pigeons, the woman wondered. 100 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,293 The woman is tripping over the term "repressed." 101 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,878 102 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,714 I'm not really bitter. I'm just trying it on for size. 103 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,090 -I think it fits. -Yeah. 104 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,259 It's a little tight in the crotch. 105 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:02,844 106 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,182 You're saying "crotch" to me? We just met. 107 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,476 Long in the sleeve? 108 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,769 109 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,814 -Not as funny. -See that? It had to be "crotch." 110 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,941 How's that strawberry shake? 111 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,819 It's very tasty, thank you. 112 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,862 I can't believe that you ordered strawberry. 113 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,824 Who orders strawberry after the age of... 11? 114 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,785 You have so much to learn about women. 115 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,079 Yeah, that... that's what a few reviewers said. 116 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,542 All right, what's next? How long do I have you for? 117 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,503 I don't know. What else is on your agenda? 118 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,879 I gotta pick up some dry cleaning. 119 00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,215 Would it be weird for you to come with me to pick up some dry cleaning? 120 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,759 No. It would be weird for you to send me. 121 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,761 It's a nice place. It's right around the corner. 122 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,972 Family joint. They have an actual abacus. 123 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,223 124 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,400 Thank you. 125 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:02,487 We were having one of those great first dates 126 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,323 you can only have when it's not an actual date. 127 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,033 128 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,577 Thank you. 129 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,586 -What's that? -It's stupid. 130 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,045 I collect found playing cards. 131 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,966 -They're all over the city. -Really? I never noticed. 132 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,094 Well, you will now. That's how it works. 133 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,473 I'm hoping to get a full deck. Insert the obvious joke here. 134 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,768 And I didn't have a two of hearts. 135 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,981 -It's a good day. -Yes, it is. 136 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,191 [romantic music playing] 137 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,864 -Hey, Berger. -We're on a last-name basis now? 138 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,282 -Yeah. -Okay. 139 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:52,287 Berger, would you, by any chance... 140 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:56,625 want to be my plus-one on Thursday? 141 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,170 It's my book party, and I don't have a date... 142 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,423 and you'll have the clean shirt and all, so... 143 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,302 I would love that, uh... 144 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:11,264 but my girlfriend's parents are coming to visit, and they are staying with us. 145 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,265 Oh! 146 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,684 Oh. 147 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,772 It was like a bomb that just kept exploding. 148 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,024 "I have a girlfriend... 149 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,151 We live together... 150 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:26,321 This whole flirtation's in your head." 151 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,239 He should have mentioned her earlier. 152 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,493 But not too early. I hate it when men do that. 153 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:35,538 "I have a girlfriend." Calm down. I just asked if that seat was taken. 154 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,041 -That guy's a jerk. -Thing is, I don't think he is. 155 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,004 I sparked with this person. I never spark. 156 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,842 I wonder how happy they are. 157 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,096 This is not a good side of me. 158 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,556 Seriously, what's the point of meeting someone like that 159 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,141 if they're not available? 160 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,727 It's the universe telling you they're still out there. 161 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,063 Maybe it's the universe telling you all the good ones are taken. 162 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,941 I'm telling you, all the good ones are coming to the party. 163 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:04,985 What did he look like? 164 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,654 I can't remember. 165 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,573 Which is what happens when I really like someone. 166 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,827 I just remember a feeling. 167 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,371 Or he was a dating mirage. 168 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,540 I was so hungry for a spark, I hallucinated a man. 169 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,834 Stop. You're the toast of the town. 170 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,587 Finish your salad, and I'll treat you to a little mani-pedi Botox. 171 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,673 I like how you say that like everybody does it. 172 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,884 -Everybody will. -I think I'd rather just crawl into bed. 173 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,845 Oh, honey, a little perspective! 174 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,724 You have a fun, exciting, intellectually stimulating career, 175 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,893 and there's about to be a huge soirée thrown in your honor. 176 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,437 Yes. And I'll be without a plus-one. 177 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,105 -I'll be your plus-one. - Coffee? 178 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:46,943 He should have said "we" something. "We go to this dry cleaners." 179 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,362 "We might be breaking up soon." 180 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,489 I didn't tell Walker I had a baby. 181 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,284 -How could you not mention it? - It didn't come up. 182 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,704 If Walker had asked me directly, "Have you given birth recently?" 183 00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,415 I would have said, "First of all, define 'recently.'" 184 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,542 -You have to tell him. -I know. I will. 185 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,003 I just don't want it to change everything. 186 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,505 If I didn't have a baby, this is a guy I'd be dating. 187 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:11,426 If Carrie's guy didn't have a girlfriend then he's a guy she'd be dating, 188 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,136 but he does. 189 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,637 Thanks for bringing that up again. 190 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,808 In New York, they say you're always looking 191 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,644 for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment. 192 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,231 So, let's say you have two out of three, and they're fabulous. 193 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,734 Why do we let the one thing we don't have 194 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,570 affect how we feel about all the things we do have? 195 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:35,825 Why does one minus a plus-one feel like it adds up to zero? 196 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,292 Samantha didn't need a man to make her feel positive, 197 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,504 but she did need a man to inject her forehead every so often. 198 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,923 We like to warn our patients 199 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:54,135 that some people find it difficult to register emotion on their faces 200 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,470 after the injections. 201 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,933 So you might have to say, "I am so angry." 202 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,894 Miss Jones is familiar with the procedure. 203 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,395 Oh. 204 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:07,690 Oh! 205 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,067 New ones? 206 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,902 Like most high-powered women, 207 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,113 Samantha could handle the stress of her job 208 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,323 but not the stress lines. 209 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,075 Before we do the Botox, 210 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,577 have you thought about a freshening chemical peel? 211 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,955 It takes 15 minutes, and it can make you look 212 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,206 ten to 20 years younger. 213 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,875 Oh! 214 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:30,463 [Carrie] Fifteen minutes later, Samantha seemed to have it all... 215 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,048 216 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,342 ...peeled off. 217 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,139 There are times when a woman relishes being alone. 218 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,515 -There you go. -Thank you. 219 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,893 Oh, my God! 220 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,729 And those are the times you usually run into someone 221 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,730 you don't wanna see. 222 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,901 In my case, it was Enid Frick, my editor at Vogue, 223 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,236 also alone. 224 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,657 -Carrie. 225 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,785 Enid. Hi. 226 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,666 -How are you? -Good. Good. 227 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,752 -Are you meeting someone? -No, I'm just grabbing a quick bite. 228 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,046 Well, um... 229 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,966 -Would you like to-- -Oh, no. Not if you're working. 230 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,676 No, it's fine. I was just reading. 231 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,761 Hello! 232 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,139 Hi. 233 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,101 -Hello! is what you're-- -Oh, reading! [laughs] 234 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,728 Yes. 235 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,771 So, do you really want company? 236 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,608 Sure. I just ordered. 237 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,571 I guess this way I can expense it. 238 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,865 Right. 239 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,665 Enid and I ran out of Vogue stuff 240 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,043 to talk about midway through our salads. 241 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,378 -Do you live in the neighborhood? -No. 242 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,427 But the man I'm seeing does. 243 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,095 Oh! 244 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,805 So, there's a man. 245 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,267 Yes, there is a man. 246 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,687 Well, that's great. You have a wildly successful career 247 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,482 and a relationship. I was worried we, you know, 248 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:18,196 women only get one or the other, but you have it all. 249 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,954 Enid, you gotta give me something here. I'm working my ass off. 250 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,498 All right. 251 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,252 To speak in magazine copy, yes, I have it all... 252 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,504 on the East Side. 253 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:38,841 He has someone else on the West Side. Luckily, the park provides a buffer. 254 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,094 So... 255 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,221 you're okay with that? 256 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,430 Yes. 257 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,892 I don't have time for a full-time man. I have a full-time job. 258 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,061 That's the key to having it all. 259 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,523 Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it was going to look like. 260 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,026 That's true of the fall lines, and it's true of relationships. 261 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,490 Her little tip earned Enid one invitation to my party. 262 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:07,620 That night, Charlotte let her perfect plus-one have it all. 263 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,831 264 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:28,474 She even let him stay the night in her perfect pre-war apartment. 265 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,184 266 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,854 Oh, yeah, that's Man jay. I ordered breakfast. 267 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,773 -You're too good to be true. 268 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,238 Unfortunately, 269 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,074 Charlotte was about to get much more than she ordered. 270 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,492 271 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,833 -Is anybody home? -Yes. I am. 272 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,462 -Oh, hello, Charlotte. -Bunny, what are you doing here? 273 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,922 The question is, what are you doing here? 274 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,425 I'm hearing things from the co-op board. 275 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,594 They're spying on me? 276 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,597 Mrs. Collier saw you kissing a male caller 277 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,807 in the hall in the middle of the day. 278 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,976 I believe that kissing is allowed. 279 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,687 And Mrs. Pierce said a gentleman, 280 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,690 we assume it was the same one, but who knows, 281 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:21,819 came home with you last night. And according to the doorman... 282 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,530 he hasn't left yet. 283 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,784 What I do with my life in my apartment-- 284 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,077 That's the thing, dear. 285 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,663 -It's not your apartment. -Trey gave me this apartment. 286 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,165 It's not Trey's to give. 287 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,377 And this apartment remains in the MacDougal name, 288 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,631 whereas you, Charlotte York, do not. 289 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,258 So, you see, it's rather a sticky subject 290 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,220 made stickier by the fact that you're still married. 291 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,554 Ah... 292 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,725 -You're married? -I'm not married. I'm separated. 293 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,353 Aren't you missing a pair of trousers? 294 00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,608 -You! You have to go. -Don't you hustle me out, young lady. 295 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,318 This is Chanel. 296 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,738 Charlotte discovered that a plus-one, 297 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,573 plus one ex-mother-in-law 298 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,700 equals disaster. 299 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,539 Meanwhile, I was manning Party Central. 300 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,748 301 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,796 -Hello. -Anthony will be my date to the party. 302 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,674 What happened to this perfect plus-one we all had to meet? 303 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,050 I don't wanna talk about it. 304 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:26,968 -Sweetie, what-- 305 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,594 Ooh, that's my call waiting. Can you hang on a sec? 306 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,388 -No, I can't. 307 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,182 That's the locksmith. Bunny's back. 308 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,559 Ooh. 309 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,102 Hello. 310 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,106 -I'm definitely on the list, correct? -Of course you're on the list. 311 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,693 -Good 'cause I'm bringing my boyfriend. -Yes, I've heard. 312 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,821 I don't want to seem like a nobody, now that I have a somebody. 313 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,490 Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody when you have nobody? 314 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,868 Well, apparently, you're nobody till somebody loves you. 315 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,995 I can't believe I used to like that song. 316 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,955 It's the co-dependent national anthem. 317 00:15:56,038 --> 00:16:01,085 -Oh, methinks someone's a little jealy. -I just miss having you as my plus-one. 318 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,880 You know, the gay guy is the single gal's safety net. 319 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,883 Even Charlotte has a gay plus-one, and this is my big night. 320 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968 Her little boy-bitch Anthony is coming? 321 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,721 Yes, he's coming. He styled the event. 322 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,015 Good. I'm glad he'll be there. 323 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,059 'Cause he's bringing a woman, and I have it all. 324 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,311 -Ooh, and I have a call. 325 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,062 -See you tonight. -Okay, ciao. 326 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,981 Hello. 327 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,067 Honey, I've had a little something done, 328 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,030 and it's not as bad as yesterday, but... 329 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,658 I've looked better. 330 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,955 I'm not sure I should go to the party. 331 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,208 You have to come. You're my publicist, 332 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,418 and thanks to you, there's going to be 8,000 people there. 333 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,755 I would like to see at least one familiar face. 334 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,256 Well... 335 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,300 Samantha, I need you. I can't talk to the press. 336 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,968 I can't keep everyone straight. 337 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,388 And you said you'd be my plus-one. 338 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:58,726 Oh... All right. Don't worry about a thing. 339 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,104 -I'll be there. -Okay. Thank you. 340 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,819 341 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,572 342 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,868 343 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:16,994 344 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,330 The party was one of those amazing events 345 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,916 that would definitely end up on Page Six. 346 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,126 The fact that it was my party 347 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,129 was just icing on the beautiful little cakes 348 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:30,550 that were being passed around by beautiful little waiters. 349 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,469 Carrie Bradshaw, right here! Carrie, one more! 350 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,762 Oh! That's great! 351 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,681 Carrie, right here! Oh! 352 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,266 353 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,852 Thank you. 354 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,939 -Oh, my God, Carrie! 355 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,816 One more. One more, Miss Bradshaw. 356 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,527 Can you believe this? 357 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,737 Is it a bad thing if the party is better than the book? 358 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:55,199 I've been turning people away. Not the straight men, of course. 359 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,536 Hey, have you seen Samantha? Vanity Fair doesn't have a table. 360 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,997 -Oh. -Not your problem. Enjoy. 361 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,748 Ooh, cute guy. 362 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,502 Hey. 363 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,214 Hello, Carrie. I'm Harold Keenan of The New Yorker. 364 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,843 I've been following your career. Let me just say congratulations. 365 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,846 Carrie, I'm here! 366 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,472 Oh! 367 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,726 You look amazing. 368 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,852 369 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:28,149 Harold Keenan from The New Yorker, this is Samantha Jones, bee-keeper. 370 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,277 What are you doing under there? Talk to the man. Let him see your face. 371 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,070 - Carrie! - Hi. 372 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,032 373 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,952 There she was. My plus-one. Minus one layer of skin. 374 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,914 Hi, I've had a chemical peel. I'm Carrie's publicist. 375 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,796 Could you at least separate the two thoughts, 376 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,548 chemical peel, Carrie's publicist? 377 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,175 Why did you do this? 378 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,135 -It was an impulse purchase. -No, no. 379 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,639 Gum is an impulse purchase. This is more than gum. 380 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,557 I wanted to be super-fresh for the party. 381 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:05,061 Well, you are. You look like beef carpaccio. Veil down, I think. 382 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,145 -No! -Yeah. 383 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,521 If you knew how many dinner parties 384 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,523 I've sat through across from one of these... 385 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,733 And you were able to eat? 386 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,070 Carrie, I'm entitled to a chemical peel. 387 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,614 Wait! No! The hat was good! 388 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,074 Women shouldn't have to hide in the shadows 389 00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,411 because they've had cosmetic surgery, which society nearly demands of them. 390 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,497 Wear a ribbon and make that political statement elsewhere. 391 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,874 This is my party, and you're scaring people. 392 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,584 - Carrie? -Oh, hi. 393 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,337 -I've had a chemical peel. 394 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,255 And she's not afraid to say it. 395 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,258 When I had my nose job, I stayed in for a month. 396 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,388 Oh, excuse us. 397 00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,099 We have to go find Charlotte and her tiny little friend. 398 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,520 We were just getting to know each other. I was planning on telling him. 399 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,189 Char, you can wrap it up in a Tiffany bow all you'd like, 400 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,108 but the point is you wanted to get laid first. 401 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:57,113 -Charlotte, hello. -Hi, Stanford. You remember Anthony. 402 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,115 Anthony... Oh! 403 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,117 Oh, of course. You tried to fix us up 404 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,494 at the fashion show. I didn't know he'd be here. 405 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,289 This is Marcus, my boyfriend. 406 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,792 Really? How long you two been going together? 407 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,669 Four months. 408 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,755 Hmm. Four whole months. Good luck to you. 409 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,675 We don't need luck. We're in love. 410 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,218 Mmm-hmm. 411 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,553 Shrimp! 412 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,140 For some people, having it all is not enough. 413 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,226 They need someone who missed out on it all to be jealous. 414 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,270 We're getting a house in the Hamptons. 415 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,980 This friggin' coconut shrimp! 416 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,524 What do you do with the tails? Mr. Shrimpy! 417 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,985 And he has a large penis! 418 00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,570 -Oh... 419 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,865 Where in the Hamptons? 420 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,119 From a pair of queens to a hand still not shown. 421 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,336 Maybe you and I should go somewhere a little less crowded. 422 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,465 -Like... -Anywhere in Manhattan? 423 00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,799 424 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:03,179 -Your apartment? -Yes, but... 425 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,682 First, I have to tell you something. 426 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,060 -Ah! There's someone else. -Sort of. 427 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,022 I had a baby. 428 00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:19,487 But I'm still allowed to have sex. [laughing] 429 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,700 Is it, uh... mine? 430 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,203 No! No. 431 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,581 The guy's a friend who I accidentally slept with. 432 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:33,709 433 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,379 -I'm not good with kids. -Neither am I. 434 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:42,718 Look... months from now, if we're still together, 435 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,847 we'll figure this out. But for now, it's just us, 436 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:50,810 and I'm still the same person, so... 437 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,271 Let's go screw our brains out. 438 00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:00,778 439 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:05,449 440 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:08,160 Oh, yeah! Yeah! 441 00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,704 Oh, that feels amazing! 442 00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,583 -You sure we won't wake him? -He's fine. He's fine. 443 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:15,960 Forget about him. 444 00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:19,839 Miranda was trying to prove she could still do it all, 445 00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,466 bring home the bacon, bring home the baby, 446 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,426 and bring home an orgasm. 447 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:27,346 -Oh, yeah! Oh, Walker! 448 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,139 Don't stop. 449 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,475 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 450 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:33,811 451 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:39,233 Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming! 452 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,193 I don't think I can do this. 453 00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:46,907 -I told you. I'm not a baby guy. -Couldn't I just please come first? 454 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,993 455 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,792 456 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,175 Oh, so, now you stop crying. 457 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,429 [mobile creaks] 458 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:12,808 459 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:19,315 So, here we are, huh? 460 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,567 The night of my big party, 461 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,653 Miranda finally gave in to her little party. 462 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:29,074 Because she wasn't the same person. She was plus one. 463 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,203 Yeah. It's okay. 464 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,710 So, a book! Does anybody read books anymore? 465 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,754 Actually, I think books are coming back. 466 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,756 You can quote me on the side of a bus if you want. 467 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,175 "Books are back." Isaac Mizrahi. 468 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,093 -Okay, I'll remember that. -All right. Meet me. 469 00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:50,679 - Bye. -Perfect party, Carrie. Congratulations. 470 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,806 -Worth coming downtown for? -Mmm. 471 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:56,477 Was that a yes or a no? 472 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,145 Ooh. Oh! 473 00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,773 Last one. Thank you. 474 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:06,695 As I looked around, I thought, "Who needs a date?" 475 00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,281 I can have my cake and eat it, too. 476 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:15,037 Then suddenly, there he was, 477 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,874 looking cuter than I remembered and minus one girlfriend. 478 00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:24,505 Hey, lady of the hour. You're hard to get to. 479 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:27,091 So is the dessert tray, when it's your party. 480 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,093 Just as a point of reference, 481 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:32,221 my book party could have fit in the coat check of your book party. 482 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,431 Four hundred of my closest acquaintances. 483 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,475 You look great. 484 00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,770 So, I thought you couldn't make it. 485 00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:42,314 I had to come by, say congratulations. 486 00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:45,567 Well... 487 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,238 -Thanks for coming, Berger. -Yeah. 488 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:56,620 All right, uh... Good luck with the book and everything. 489 00:24:57,788 --> 00:24:58,831 You, too. 490 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,342 Excuse me. 491 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:11,760 -Hey. -Hey. 492 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:16,348 -Was that the spark guy? -Yes, it was. Jack Berger. 493 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:19,601 -All by his lonesome. -Well, he is awfully cute. 494 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,895 Is he? I forgot again. 495 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:25,441 He's obviously here because he felt something, too. 496 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,068 Can you call me from a cab and tell me that? 497 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,904 I love you, but your face... 498 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:34,199 I know. The caterer just shooed me away from the buffet. 499 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:38,287 -Do you mind if I go home? -I thought you'd never ask! 500 00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:40,581 Thank you for being here. 501 00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:46,045 Honey, I wouldn't have gone out in public like this for anyone but you. 502 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:49,339 I know. And I have to live with that. 503 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,636 -Bye. -Bye. 504 00:25:57,264 --> 00:26:00,142 I might go, too. My plus-one dumped me for a shrimp waiter. 505 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,478 I'd love to leave, but I have to stay. 506 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,190 I'm like the ice sculpture the party's supposed to happen around. 507 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,696 I had to let him go, correct? 508 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,408 I just wish he'd told me right up-front. 509 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:21,246 The thing is, there's some things people don't admit 510 00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:23,916 because they just don't like the way it sounds, 511 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,419 like... "I'm getting divorced." 512 00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,879 I'm lonely. 513 00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,590 I am. 514 00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:34,760 The loneliness is palpable. 515 00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:40,057 Why didn't you tell me you invited Cliff? 516 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,768 -Cliff who? -Cliff! Cliff! My Cliff! 517 00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:44,394 He's with her. 518 00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:47,773 That's him? Cliff Bregan from Primetime Sports? 519 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,733 Don't make a scene! 520 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:52,945 -Is this her side of town? -We're below Houston! 521 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,447 East Side, West Side, who the hell knows down here? 522 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,033 I am so angry. 523 00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:02,538 As it turns out, even the most together woman 524 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,873 can't keep it together when it comes to love. 525 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,918 -Who was that? -My role model. 526 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:10,003 Because just below the surface, 527 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,005 we're all raw and exposed. 528 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,007 Bye. 529 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,301 Bye. 530 00:27:26,687 --> 00:27:27,813 531 00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:31,775 So, what was the party for? 532 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:33,527 Um... 533 00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,655 Me. I have a book coming out. 534 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,615 You wrote a book! 535 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:41,285 Well, it's just a collection of my... 536 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:48,292 -Yes, I wrote a book. -That's amazing! Congratulations. 537 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:49,668 Thank you. 538 00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:51,295 It was kind of amazing. 539 00:27:51,879 --> 00:27:54,381 Why did I need a stranger to remind me of that? 540 00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:58,635 -So, where can I take you? -Oh, uh, home. 73rd and... 541 00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:01,972 Oh, no, no, no. We have to celebrate this. 542 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,061 All right, coming right up. 543 00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,189 I need those two with mustard there. Come on, rapido, Papi. 544 00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:12,566 -Can I tell him? I want to tell him. -Oh, no, I don't-- 545 00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:14,193 -She wrote a book. -Oh, no kidding! Congratulations. 546 00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:17,070 Gonna be in bookstores and everything? 547 00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:18,405 -Yep. Yep. - That's great. 548 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:20,949 Well, if that's the case, then tonight, the hot dogs are on me. 549 00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:24,369 -Oh, no, you don't have to-- -The dogs are on me. I insist. 550 00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:25,621 Thank you. 551 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,372 -Thanks. - Sure. Have a nice weekend. 552 00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:28,332 Thank you. 553 00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,250 All I could think was 554 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:34,963 who needs a Berger when you can get a fabulous hot dog for 75 cents, 555 00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:36,089 or free? 556 00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:37,257 Thanks. 557 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:44,473 Then again, maybe there is something 558 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:45,766 to knowing they're out there. 559 00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:47,309 560 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,750 40093

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