All language subtitles for The First Wives Club CD1

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,838 Middlebury College, 1969, the year of walking on the moon - 2 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,838 - "Yellow Submarine" and Woodstock. 3 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,591 Also the year that Pope Paul the VI eliminated 200 saints. Amen. 4 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:25,590 And l, along with my three best friends, graduated from college. 5 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,793 Where's Cynthia? We've got to get going. I mean, shouldn't we? 6 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,117 Calm down, Annie. She said she had a surprise. 7 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,356 How is this? Is this heaven? 8 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:41,157 Elise, you are so gorgeous. Really! Oh, my. It's lovely. 9 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,158 - It's solid. - Oh, girls. 10 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,794 - Cynthia. - Here. Open. Put them on. 11 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,639 Oh, my God! 12 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,719 Oh, my God. You shouldn't have done this. 13 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:57,151 - It's too much. - I don't think so. It's just enough. 14 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,318 You'll all write me nice notes, but now we need a toast. 15 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,470 - Got it. - Pour, pour! It's picture time. 16 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,353 - Champagne! - From my folks. 17 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,708 To Annie, Elise and Brenda. 18 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,275 And Cynthia, I mean our valedictorian. 19 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,597 All right. We're all bound together forever by friendship and love. 20 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,074 And jewelry! 21 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,068 And we're always going to be there for each other. 22 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,796 - Oh, God! I'm gonna cry! - Here! For the rest of our lives. 23 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,991 - One, two, three... - Hows my hair? 24 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,474 It's good. 25 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,434 Mrs. Cynthia? 26 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,959 Teresa... 27 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,950 - I want you to have these. - No, no, no. 28 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,434 - Yes, yes, yes. - I cannot take... 29 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,030 - You just think of it as a raise, OK? - Thank you. 30 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,800 Now, you take the rest of the day off. Go on. 31 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,357 - Thank you. - Would you mind mailing these? 32 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,799 Of the four of us, Cynthia was certainly the most likely to succeed. 33 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,798 When she decided to do something - 34 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,468 - Shejust went ahead and did it. 35 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,629 Roachie. Come on, honey. It's Mommy. Mommy's home. 36 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,512 Gosh, think we got any messages? 37 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,996 - What do you think, huh? - Annie, dear, it's your mother. 38 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,398 It's 6am. Please call me urgently. 39 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,637 Chris! ...Honey, I thought you were going to campus yesterday. 40 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,799 My classes were cancelled. I slept here. Where were you?! 41 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,797 I was... I was at a friend's. 42 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:13,118 You were with that man again. Mother, I am so disappointed. 43 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,311 I'm sorry, but he is your father. 44 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,954 He's using you. You shouldn't let him. 45 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:23,996 It's not that simple. The truth is I love your father. 46 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,634 - I'm sure he loves me. - You're a doormat! 47 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,229 What's the matter with you? Why are you so crabby today? 48 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,795 Is it school? ...I know what it is. 49 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,828 - It's a boy. - I'm a lesbian, mom. 50 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,634 I'm a lesbian. But that's not the issue here. 51 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,559 - When you say "lesbian"... - Don't tell Daddy. 52 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,070 I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's Day. 53 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,599 - Or Christmas morning. - Chris... 54 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,075 Thank God, you're all right. 55 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,998 Where were you? Who saw you? 56 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,760 - Who saw me what? - She was sleeping with Daddy. 57 00:06:55,880 --> 00:07:00,590 Muffin, you've come to your senses. I'm so happy. 58 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:05,635 Mother, I don't sleep with Aaron. He has problems with his partners. 59 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:09,037 He's very conflicted, and he needed somebody to talk to. 60 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,196 - Doormat! - Lesbian. 61 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:19,837 Do it, Morris. Do it to me now. I need it. 62 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,033 You're the only one who does it the way I like it. You're the king. 63 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,994 Any more collagen, your lips will look like they were stuck in a pool drain. 64 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,112 I haven't worked in 18 months. 65 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,108 I have a meeting with a director for a part I would kill for. 66 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,869 - I have to look sexy. - Elise, you are sexy! 67 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,152 Look at yourself. You're incredible. You're my masterpiece. 68 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,636 - There's not one line on your face. - Really? What do you call that? 69 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,469 - And these? What are these? - You're 45. 70 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,797 One more facelift, you'll be able to blink your lips. 71 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,878 - Don't you want to play your age? - My own age?! 72 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:00,358 You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: 73 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,950 Babe, district attorney and "Driving Miss Daisy". 74 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:08,392 And right now, I want to be young. Science Fiction 'young"! 75 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:13,116 This is good. Maybe you should also cut down on the booze. 76 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,909 I know you're upset about the divorce. 77 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,111 - Upset? - You're upset about Bill's movie. 78 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,438 This isn't about him! This is about my lips! Look at me. 79 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,030 I want Tina Turner. I want Jagger. 80 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,679 Fill 'em up. 81 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:39,632 Really? This is fabulous news. Thank you. Bye... Jason! 82 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,796 Jason! Honey! 83 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,870 Yoo-hoo! "Burning Sensation" just confirmed. 84 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,759 Jason! 85 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,076 - What? - "Burning Sensation" confirmed. 86 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,271 - I got the band you wanted. - Cool! 87 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,439 Affection! 88 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,039 Gimme that! 89 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,591 - What is this? - Hebrew! 90 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,917 Your Bar Mitzvah's in 3 weeks... the one thing your father will pay for. 91 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,633 - Learn it! - Mom! 92 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,196 Don't "but, Mom" me! Learn it. Don't shame me in the synagogue. 93 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,432 The separation from Aaron is absurd. 94 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,790 How will you fix things if you're not together? 95 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,675 We're practically together. We're seeing the same therapist. 96 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,190 - What? - Her name is Dr. Leslie Rosen. 97 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:33,030 She's incredible. She helps Aaron with commitment issues. 98 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,674 We're working on my self-esteem. 99 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:40,396 You're married with a daughter. You're happy. Who needs self-esteem! 100 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,034 Mother! 101 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,913 Dr. Rosen says that... 102 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,838 She says you're very controlling. 103 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,156 Me? Controlling? 104 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,191 That is ridiculous. 105 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,675 - Mother, I... - Roach... 106 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,836 Go! 107 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,511 What if I found somebody else, mother? It's possible. 108 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:08,955 You're 46. You're more likely to be slaughtered by a psycho. 109 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,789 Cynthia Swann Griffiin is dead. The former wlfe of Wall Street wizard... 110 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,389 Didn't you go to school with her? 111 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,318 ...jumped from her fashionable penthouse apartment. 112 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,193 Mrs. Griffiin had recently divorced her longtime husband - 113 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,552 - Gilbert Griffiin. The Wall Street baron remarried only yesterday. 114 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,992 - Morning, Mohammed. - Morning, Miss Eliot. 115 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,598 Elise! 116 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,075 - Oh, God. What a tragedy! - Poor Cynthia. 117 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,077 And your lips! 118 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,276 Elise arrived with Gunilla Garson-Goldberg. 119 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,950 The queen of New York society. Nobody gets anywhere - 120 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,196 - In this town without Gunilla's say-so. 121 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,116 Hey, Elise! 122 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,870 She looks wonderful. Has she had any work done? 123 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,479 Honey, she's a quilt. 124 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,835 Then came Cynthia's former husband Gilbert Griffiin. 125 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,077 A man made rich by his fiirst wlfe's connections and now - 126 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,716 - Made happy by his second wlfe's youthful good looks. 127 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,757 The vampire Lestat. And Louis. 128 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,835 What a nerve! He should be hanging his head. 129 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,395 You don't know what he feels right now. 130 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,518 I knew you would be here. 131 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,994 Alice! 132 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,475 - No, Annie. - Annie! 133 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,879 It's so wonderful to see you. You're wearing our pearls. 134 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,718 Yeah. 135 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,753 - Hi. It's Brenda. Brenda Morang. - Brenda! 136 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,996 Annie. Remember me! 137 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,079 - You look wonderful. - You do too. You look just... 138 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,430 - : : : uncanny: - Thank you. 139 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,359 Dear, sweet, funny, yearning Brenda. 140 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,314 What? 141 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,032 - She's such a bitch. - I hate that guy. 142 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:17,473 This might sound horrible after that but I would really... 143 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,719 - I'd love to... - Lunch? 144 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,514 No, you're right. It's not right. 145 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,915 Why? We gotta eat. I have a car. 146 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,997 - A limo. - Yeah. 147 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,030 It is so wonderful seeing you all. 148 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,434 - Elise. - What? 149 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,996 You have not changed a bit in 20 years. 150 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,431 Not one little bit. 151 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,638 It's utterly bizarre. 152 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,319 - Brenda! - Excuse me. I'm sorry. 153 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,033 Ladies, would anyone like a drink? 154 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,755 - Yes, I would like a Virgin Mary. - Bloody Mary. 155 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,394 - Vodka rocks, please. - Now, I just want to... 156 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:58,878 ...get this out of the way. I'm the most terrible person. 157 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:03,198 I tried to stay in touch. I should have written every month. 158 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,153 Annie you had a life to lead. 159 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:10,148 It must have been time-consuming, churning out those newsletters. 160 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,037 It's a terrible excuse for a reunion - 161 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,074 - But here we all are. How are you guys, huh? 162 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,396 Just fine. Couldn't be better. 163 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,672 - Things are rolling along for me. - Same here. Knock wood. 164 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,632 knock wood. 165 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,479 - It's great to see you guys again. - Cheers. 166 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,629 Why'd she do it? I don't understand. Could I have helped her? 167 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,912 What would make her want to? 168 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,148 She gave Gil the best years of her life. Sacrificed her youth... 169 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:46,275 Always put herself last to bolster his ego, his drive, his ambition. 170 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:53,033 Just as her dignity hung by a thread, he ran off with a pre-schooler. 171 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,869 - I'm guessing. - Elise... 172 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,832 You too? 173 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,433 You... Brenda? 174 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,108 - Brenda? - Morty was a big shot on TV. 175 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:09,359 He sold electronics. On our 20th wedding anniversary, it hits... 176 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,634 ...mid-life crisis... Major! He starts working out, grows a mustache. 177 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,355 He gets an earring. I said: "Morty, what are you... a pirate?" 178 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,834 'What's next? A parrot?" 179 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:25,319 Suddenly, I'm a drag. I'm holding him back because I won't rollerblade. 180 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,358 - What's her name? - Shelly. 181 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:32,838 Shelly the barracuda. She's 12. 182 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,678 Bren... Elise. 183 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,031 I am so sorry about both of your marriages. 184 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,074 I wish I could have helped or been there in some way. 185 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,671 - What about your marriage? - Everything's just fine. 186 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,519 Aaron is so terrific... 187 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,679 Now, let's think... we've been married for 25 years... 188 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,955 Chris is perfect. I mean, lesbians are great... nowadays! 189 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,199 The marriage is going... It's going to be really fine. 190 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,233 Aaron and I... we're... 191 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:15,036 ...temporarily sort of... We're separated! 192 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,359 - Separated. - Separated? 193 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,838 Separated. 194 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,398 OK, Elise, the time has come... 195 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,353 Spill! Those lips... what's in 'em? 196 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,597 - Are they wax? - Excuse me? 197 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,189 What else did you have done? You can tell me. 198 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,951 The cheeks, the jawline... Have just a little or the full enchilada? 199 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,630 I work out daily, watch my diet. 200 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,877 - I haven't had plastic surgery! - Good for you! 201 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,752 - You look terrific. - Come on! 202 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,952 You're lying through your caps! 203 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,357 OK, I have been refreshed a little. 204 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,597 - Oh, God, does it hurt? - No. 205 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,598 The stuff they take off... Can you keep it? 206 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,995 Come on, it's the 90s. 207 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:21,911 Plastic surgery is like good grooming. It's like brushing your teeth. 208 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:28,673 Elise, you've been yanked, stitched, stuffed and pulled. You're a turkey. 209 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,794 - And to please your ex-husband? - No... 210 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:36,391 ...to please everybody. To please everybody! 211 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:41,913 Men, women, studio executives. Come on, youth and beauty. 212 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,917 Men, that's the ticket! 213 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:48,113 When men... No, when women get to be a certain age... 214 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:52,518 ...bye, bye love. Hello, poptarts. - That's right, baby. 215 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,915 It's a holocaust. 216 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:00,231 God, I wish I had the courage to give it all up. To say... 217 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:06,709 ...who gives a rat's ass. Just let myself go like you two did. 218 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,111 No offense. 219 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,630 - None taken. - Speak for yourself, OK! 220 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,594 Elise, you're gifted, talented and successful. 221 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,678 Brenda, you're wonderfully verbal. 222 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,395 And I am seeing a very talented therapist. 223 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:29,630 We're in our prime! By the way, my marriage is fine, thank you. 224 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:35,198 Annie, you have an amazing attitude. 225 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:39,632 You are... so cheerful. 226 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,988 - You are... - Look at me. 227 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,191 You are genuinely happy. 228 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,631 - It's a beautiful thing. - Thank you. 229 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,237 Lithium? 230 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:02,479 You'd have been proud of me, Leslie. I was the only positive one there. 231 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:08,471 There were traces of the wonderful, witty women I knew before - 232 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:15,870 - But they're just so angry. They're so confused. When we were young... 233 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,435 ...we had such spirit. - Say it, honey. 234 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,998 - Work from love. - OK, work from love. 235 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,670 - Grow from love. - Grow from love. 236 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,233 Screw the world. 237 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,355 - I can't say that. I'm sorry. - Annie, you are still doing it. 238 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,790 - I know. - You have a problem with anger. 239 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,274 You're absolutely right. 240 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,597 It's my... I don't know what it is! It's my mother. It's Connecticut. 241 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,030 - It's all these loud noises. - And Aaron. 242 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,279 I know we're separated. But I think this is really a rest period. 243 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,879 We're just getting our... 244 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,833 - Do it, Annie! Get angry. - I couldn't. I know that I should... 245 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,314 - It's just... - Hit me. 246 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,033 Stand up and hit me. 247 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:03,519 I can't. I'm so sorry. Maybe... 248 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:08,111 Let it out. I want you to hit me. Trust me. It's OK. 249 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,674 OK. 250 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,838 Rambo! 251 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,794 A real tough guy. Come on, Annie... 252 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,390 - Hit me! - I love that. 253 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,159 - My God. - That was better. 254 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:33,717 - I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aaron. - Time's up. 255 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,478 - Time to go. Do you feel better? - Thank you. 256 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,873 He hasn't the guts to tell me he wants a divorce. I have to hear it on TV. 257 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,435 - Elise, be cool. Be calm. - I am! 258 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,552 - I saw that show. It was interesting. - I don't want to hear it. 259 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:54,117 My client's and Miss Eliot's marriage resulted in many successful films - 260 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,471 - Including "Inner Urges", "Human Instinct" - 261 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:03,471 - And "Animal Nature" in which she played a sensuous veterinarian. 262 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,193 - Thank you. - My idea! 263 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,277 - Was not. - Was too. 264 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,711 My client produced these films which enhanced Miss Eliot's career. 265 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,117 - Therefore, she is indebted to him. - I produced these films! 266 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,311 You knew nothing when I met you. 267 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,353 I taught you everything! What? 268 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,596 Those were your best years, Elise. 269 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:27,591 Therefore, we request half of Miss Eliot's assets and a monthly stipend. 270 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,153 He wants alimony? 271 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,353 As for the sculpture, art, Japanese porcelain and objets d'art- 272 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,916 - Collected during the marriage, my client thinks it fair for Miss Eliot - 273 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,590 - To dispose of the items and divide the proceeds evenly. 274 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,392 They were anniversary presents - 275 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,716 - Xmas presents. I gave him everything. Now he wants more?! 276 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:55,109 Now, Duarto, I ask you: who's this for? An anorexic teen? A fetus? 277 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,949 It's a conspiracy. I know it is. I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. 278 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,756 I'm not buying any more clothes until designers come to their senses. 279 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,032 Brenda worked for a man named Duarto Feliz - 280 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,949 - One of the ten worst interior decorators in New York. 281 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,357 I think his real name was Duane Hemelwitz. 282 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,711 - It's electric. Look at this hideous... - I can't afford it. 283 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:22,152 You've got to have it. Try it on. You could sell a broach, your son... 284 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,191 Duarto... 285 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:29,629 - Morty! Look at you. - Brenda, don't embarrass me. 286 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,718 Don't embarrass me. Don't make a scene. 287 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,151 You've got nerve. know what's embarrassing? 288 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,114 Being hassled by Mr. Zaworsky because I'm behind in the rent. 289 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,518 That's embarrassing. Worrying about how to pay for my kid's college. 290 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,315 You know what? You never listened. 20 years and you never listened. 291 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,751 Here! Try this on in the fitting room. It looks very nice. 292 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,713 I could use this. It's very beautiful. I love the color... 293 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,229 But what can I use for money? How am I gonna pay for it? 294 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:02,389 The company is expanding. Not me! I'm a mere laborer. 295 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,309 - You're a liar and a fraud. - I have no money. I'm not rich. 296 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,192 - Why don't you look in your purse? - Very funny. 297 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,597 - They're stunning, Morton. I want 'em. - Morton? 298 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,116 - Oh, God, make it go away. - Shelly, look at you. 299 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,233 - The bulimia has paid off. - Don't start. 300 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,637 What's the matter, Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress? 301 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,276 Why don't you try these on in your size? 302 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:34,874 - It was a delight running into you. - You've read the script. 303 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:41,311 Yes, it is so original. It's so good. 304 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,353 You're so gifted, Brett. 305 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,792 And Monique..." Monique"... 306 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,514 She is a great character. 307 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,151 Thank you. Man, what a kick! 308 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,749 Elise Eliot in a Brett Artounian film. 309 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,471 So, tell me how do you see her? 310 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,638 Well, uh, I think we go for... 311 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,718 ...grotesque. - What? 312 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:17,391 All the way. No make-up, overhead lighting. Bring out every wrinkle... 313 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,319 Every crag. With you in the part - 314 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,069 - Monique's mother won't be another Jurassic fleshbag in a wheelchair. 315 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,236 She's epic. 316 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,433 Elise Eliot, the crypt-keeper. Wow! 317 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,198 Mom, I'm spending the night at Dad's. Don't worry, I'm studying. 318 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,039 Baruch atta adonoy... Happy now? 319 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,759 Maurice? 320 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,673 I want another one. They want me to play the mother. 321 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,353 - Sorry. - The mother! 322 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,198 Let me ask you something. 323 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,517 - Is this the face of a mother? - No, ma'am. 324 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,950 Certainly not mine. 325 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,518 So I thought. 326 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,232 Not to be critical, but you've no feeling for noodles. 327 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,317 Thank you, Mom. 328 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,239 Hello. 329 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:58,037 Aaron... Nothing... Just having pasta with mother. 330 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,071 No, you say... Sure! 331 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,874 That would be good. Bye. 332 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:08,311 We're going to have dinner! Can you believe that? Oh my God! 333 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,069 Do you know what this means? It means he's re-prioritized. 334 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,430 He's worked through his relationship phobias - 335 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,792 - His fear of intimacy, his thing about my poisoning his food. 336 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,672 He's ready to recommit. 337 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,396 - Here we go. - Thank you. 338 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,436 Excuse me, so sorry. 339 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,313 Una? By yourself? 340 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,714 Si. 341 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,638 - How are you? - Hello. Allow me. 342 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:49,588 I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. 343 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,190 - Shelley Winters is Unique's mother. - Now, that's good. 344 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:58,918 - Sean Connery's Unique's mother. - Perhaps some coffee now. 345 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:04,831 I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. 346 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,238 He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud. 347 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:19,280 - I'm not happy, Maurice. - I'm going to get you that coffee. 348 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:33,271 - Honey... I think I should go. - I know. 349 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:40,272 Tomorrow, we could start moving your things back in... if that's okay? 350 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,678 I hated seeing your side of the closet all empty. 351 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:51,951 Dr. Rosen... she would be proud of us. I wish she were here. 352 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:58,156 Not literally. I can't wait to tell her how we worked it all out. 353 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,989 We should get therapy gold stars. 354 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,349 Annie... 355 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,232 I love you. 356 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,238 Come here. 357 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,919 Yes. 358 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,194 I love you. 359 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,110 I want a divorce. 360 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,075 - Stay calm. - But we just made love! 361 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,919 You asked me out. 362 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,680 I asked you out to tell you, but you looked so great. 363 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,394 I thought: "How romantic. One last time." 364 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,673 - A goodbye kiss. - But this wasn't just a kiss. 365 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,758 Don't be childish. You know how you manipulate me. 366 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,428 - What?! Manipulate? - Don't. 367 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,200 What? ...Oh my God. 368 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,315 - Is there someone else? - No. This is about us. 369 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,919 It's really not you. 370 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:08,999 Babe? 371 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:11,354 Oh my God! 372 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,120 - Oh my God! - Oh my God. 373 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,959 - This is very awkward. - No, Annie was just leaving. 374 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,435 - You told her? - I was totally upfront. 375 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,631 What? Excuse me! 376 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,070 Annie, this is rough. I know that. 377 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,397 Rough?! Wait a minute. I don't understand. You're my therapist? 378 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,070 - I'm a woman. - He is my husband. 379 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:35,751 We've been separated for months. Let's not overdramatize, OK? 380 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,191 She's allowed to be angry. - Annie, let's use this. 381 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,994 He's found someone new. You're free! Closure! 382 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,273 I'm sorry, but that isn't what this is. 383 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,472 You're not helping us out here. 384 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,194 - Now, I'm sorry. - So am I! 385 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:58,748 Very sorry I ever met you! Sorry I loved you for all those years! 386 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,270 I'm sorry I was there for you every minute - 387 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,268 - Of every day and supported you in your every move. 388 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,636 I'm sorry! 389 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,559 Oh, my God. 390 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,919 "I wish I had talent like Elise"- 391 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,236 - "Brenda's humor" - 392 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,879 - "or your strength, Annie." 393 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,634 "Most of all I wish I still had our friendship." 394 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:38,391 "Perhaps Gil isn't the problem." Oh, God... 395 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,433 "Perhaps Ioneliness is." 396 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,190 "Please take care of each other. Love, Cynthia." 397 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:57,632 - And on such pretty stationery. - I have to make some calls, Mom. 398 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:07,476 - God, poor Cynthia. - If only she had called me. 399 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,874 If only I were listed. 400 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,311 You know what? She was right. In college we were focused. 401 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,476 We were brave. We couldn't wait. 402 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,116 It's all over. I'm alone. I don't have anything. 403 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:19,878 I don't have anything! 404 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:25,712 You have a son who adores you. I'm alone! I'm Monique's mother. 405 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,390 But Jason's off to college pretty soon. I'll be even more alone. 406 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,477 Plus I'll be a lot older. 407 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,433 Any more plastic surgery, I won't be able to sleep. 408 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,119 I'll have to work at McDonalds! 409 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,915 - I'll have to do ads for adult diapers. - I'll have to wear them. 410 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:41,834 I just spent 25 years - 411 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:47,398 - With a self-absorbed man who is marrying my therapist... 412 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,149 ...who lectured me on self-esteem. - You win! 413 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,352 I won't be that woman anymore. It's unacceptable. 414 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,235 It is unacceptable! I made all those stupid movies with Bill. 415 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,829 I gave him a career and he stole mine. 416 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,430 I worked behind the cash register at his first store... in his first 15 stores! 417 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,393 I gave Aaron a home and a daughter. 418 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,751 - I washed and ironed his shorts. - You did? 419 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,076 Well, I supervised. 420 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,397 What do we want? Revenge? 421 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,956 No! We are not talking about revenge. I am talking about justice. 422 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,549 I'm going to give Aaron so much justice he won't see straight... 423 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,433 ...if he thinks partners are trouble. - Bill's always had it easy. 424 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,916 That's right. Bill's had it easy every inch of the way. 425 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:30,758 He's always had a woman look after him. 426 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,076 What would happen one day if he didn't? 427 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,794 What do you think, Brenda? 428 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,878 I love Morty. Very deeply. 429 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,709 - I wouldn't want to see him harmed. - You don't? 430 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,356 I want him dumped! By Little Miss Midriff. 431 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,869 By that Stairmastered L'Orealed crotch jockey. 432 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,399 In front of the whole Western Hemisphere. 433 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:57,073 On the 6 o'clock news. Okay! After that I want world peace. 434 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,670 Let's get serious. We helped them rise. We can help them fall. 435 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,075 How are we going to do that. 436 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,511 We're has-beens, hanging on by a thread. We're discards. 437 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:11,316 We're not hanging on by a thread. Look, by being together-us-unity. 438 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,080 If all the first wives of the world got together... 439 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,953 ...what else do we need? - Just one amazing attorney. 440 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,277 All we need is us. Three women who aren't afraid to fight. 441 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:26,510 Stand up for dignity and self-esteem! Then we'll let 'em have it. 442 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,554 - See this? - What? 443 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,557 - Wait, right here, OK? - OK. 444 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,354 See this? Put it in there. 445 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,997 All right. First Wives Club, come to order. 446 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,918 Starting the club was easy. 447 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,078 Figuring out what to do next was much harder. 448 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,556 We each decided to gather information about our husbands. 449 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,957 - Elise, Elise... - Yeah... 450 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,115 I went in search of a spy. 451 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,390 Why can't we call Chris and ask her to help us? 452 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,309 I want her to know I support her lifestyle completely. 453 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:07,069 - I've never been to a gay bar! - Here we go. 454 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,113 Hi, I think you're just terrific. 455 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:21,950 Look at this. My God! Isn't this great? All these women. 456 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:23,593 Yeah, maybe we'll get lucky. 457 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,588 Elise Eliot, right? You're from the movies. 458 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,791 - Yeah... - I knew you were gay! 459 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:34,312 I said Elise Eliot is so hot! You're like the most - 460 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,556 - Amazing babe on this planet. 461 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,752 God bless you! 462 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,714 - You wanna dance? - Uh, yeah. 463 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,113 Hi, Sweetie. 464 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,869 Mom! Hi... 465 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,196 We wanted to have a little... 466 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,799 What's the matter? 467 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,958 I thought we could have a little chat about our plans. 468 00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,513 Mom... 469 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:02,632 - You know you're in a gay bar. - That's what's so great. 470 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,799 It's very women-identified and... by the way... 471 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,594 I'm Chris' Mom. 472 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,711 Are you gay? 473 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,399 Sorry! 474 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,112 What's wrong? 475 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:27,238 My lover left mer after 18 years for some teenager who weighs 12 Ib. 476 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,839 What am I going to do? 477 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,999 - God! That's just like me and Morty. - Who? 478 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,236 Morty. 479 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,230 She's butch. 480 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,828 Nail Daddy and those other low-lifes? 481 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:46,113 I don't mean "nail 'em". I mean, just teach and help them. 482 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,834 - Vaporize them! - Yeah, sure. 483 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,270 Yes! Yes! Yes! 484 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,074 I'm in. I'm really in. 485 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,395 Elise... 486 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,433 Elise, Chris is in! 487 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,518 Can you believe it? Mission accomplished. We'd better go. 488 00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:12,994 She's staying! 489 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:16,192 She's with me, babe! Come on, honey, my place. 490 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,355 Brenda, you're so possessive! 491 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,957 Something I was just thinking about... my resume. 492 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:32,190 Wouldn't interfere with school. Something part-time until I graduate. 493 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,278 Come on, Dad. How about a little nepotism? 494 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,754 I'll hire you. 495 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:42,717 I'm surprised. You've never shown interest in advertising. 496 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,798 I know, Daddy. I'm here to learn. 497 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,872 That's great. 498 00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:57,952 Elise decided to pull the rug out from under Bill... literally. 499 00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,675 After all, his lawyer told her to dispose of their common property. 500 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,871 Miss Eliot, you know he hates interruptions. 501 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,197 Please let me tell him you're here. Please... 502 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,150 Elise... what a kick! But I'm on with the Coast. 503 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,557 All the good stuff goes. The Lampico, the Ming vase. 504 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:20,993 Amari horsemen, Faberg� eggs, the Wingback chair, the green Tiffany lamp. 505 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,156 Babe... what's going on? 506 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:27,558 As requested, I'm consolidating the matrimonial assets for liquidation. 507 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,116 That includes these antiques I bought for you. 508 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,198 - You are the best. - Love tokens, anniversary gifts. 509 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:38,678 - Junk. Here, take that desk too. - Elise, this hurts me. 510 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,599 I care about you... about us. About the magic. 511 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,633 - What exactly is going on here? - And this Japanese secretary. 512 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,115 - I want that to go. - Back off, Jacko! 513 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,232 Elise, this isn't right. It's hormonal. You can't do this. 514 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,113 - Watch me! - But this is my stuff! 515 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,471 It's the 90s, Bill. Downsize! 516 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,156 At Jason's Bar Mitzvah 2 weeks later- 517 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,511 - First Wives Club got its fiirst big break. 518 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:12,077 Thanks to Brenda's dear, dear Sicilian uncle. 519 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,071 Uncle Carmine. My father's side. 520 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,876 Morty and I have planned for this day since Jason was born. 521 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,868 - But Morty's going to be here. - But next to me. 522 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,230 We're not a family anymore. 523 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,193 It's OK. I'll be fine. 524 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,517 Excuse me. 525 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,879 He brought her... 526 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,240 ...to my son's Bar Mitzvah! 527 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:50,714 Is she a gift? 528 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:58,233 - Brenda, can I speak freely? - Sure. Annie's cool. 529 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:02,797 I speak for the entire family and your late father-my beloved brother - 530 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:09,792 - When I say Morty is garbage. I'd be honored to take him out. 531 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:15,713 No, don't you dare. Morty the Garbage is my problem. 532 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,276 I'll work it out myself. Thanks for the thought anyway. 533 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:20,754 My angel. 534 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,396 For Morty to treat you this way after what your father did for him... 535 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,909 Where would he be? 536 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:31,716 The first year of his business, all his merchandise - 537 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,629 - Fell off one of our trucks. 538 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,398 You're not serious? 539 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,751 We were happy to help you newlyweds. 540 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,918 My Morty a crook? 541 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:48,113 Check his books. They're fiction. Bestsellers! 542 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,831 - Ciao. - Ciao. Grazie. 543 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,396 Really liked your uncle. 544 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:04,352 - Mother! Mother! Where are you? - Over here, bitch. 545 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:08,394 Mother, I met a man. He's an angel. 546 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,239 He's a God. He's a doctor. 547 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,479 It's perfect. 548 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:20,199 - Do I really have the part? - Baby, you know it. 549 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,078 Pizza! 550 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,073 - Oh my God! - Elise! 551 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,078 - There's the Lichtenstein. - What the hell are you doing? 552 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,589 - The Dine. Take that. - This is so cool. 553 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,791 - All the gym equipment. - I'm getting a restraining order. 554 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,879 No, Bill, this is great. - Hi, I'm Phoebe. 555 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,550 I've seen all your movies and I want to be just like you, only me! 556 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,992 Phoebe, some advice... Be afraid. Be very afraid. 557 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,590 - Pheebs, she's bitter. - And take the cappuccino machine! 558 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,677 Bill, I have a great idea. 559 00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,713 Wouldn't she be great to play opposite me? 560 00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,672 Bill is producing this new, incredible movie - 561 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,474 - With this young, hot director. I'm the star of it. 562 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,399 - I'm Monique. - What? 563 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,716 And you can be my Mom! 564 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:15,792 While Elise cleaned out Bill's offiice, loft and house in the Hamptons - 565 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,709 Brenda and I looked for an offiice. A base for the Club. 566 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:25,957 Come in. 567 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,599 Look at this. It's early everything, huh. 568 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:36,349 Oh, my goodness. Look at this. 569 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,555 You know what it says? "I beat Meryl." 570 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:44,275 - It does not. Put that down. - Is there chocolate inside? 571 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,357 - Put it down! - OK, OK. 572 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:52,112 Put it gently down. Look. Do you believe this stuff? 573 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,788 I don't know where to put it. There's no room in my warehouse. 574 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,037 I could have put it in my building downtown. 575 00:43:58,240 --> 00:43:59,958 - You own a building? - Yeah, I do. 576 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,071 I sublet it normally, but... 577 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,635 ...now it's... vacant. 578 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,996 There's a lot of work to be done. You have to see it. 579 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,316 Look at this. 580 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,798 All right, this is perfect. 581 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:33,755 All right, girls! This is fabulous. 582 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:41,474 While Brenda and I worked like crazy gathering information - 583 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,433 - Elise spent most of her time on the phone to her agent. 584 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,789 Dan Carlin, please. Elise Eliot calling. 585 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,629 - Elise Eliot! - And fiinally it came through for her. 586 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:58,753 - This is a great play! - I told her she had to do it. 587 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,157 I don't want to do theater! I haven't done theater in years! 588 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,148 Bill always said theater was bad for my career... 589 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,352 ...which actually I agree with. - Excuse me, but this is a great role. 590 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,189 This is about a bitter, unloved, emotionally barren woman. 591 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,709 - That's not me! - It's you! 592 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:17,759 Thank you. 593 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,754 - Hello. - It's Bill. Where's Elise? 594 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,554 - It's for you... Bill. - Hello. 595 00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,752 - Listen to me, you piece of garbage. - I can't hear you. 596 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,872 I'll sue you. I'll break you. 597 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,594 You vindictive sack of silicone! 598 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:40,191 - That's my car, you piece of plastic! - Oh, darn. 599 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,595 Bill... Lamborghini. 600 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,358 The Lamborghini. 601 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:45,834 He's mad. Whoo! 602 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,950 Elise, can I ask you a question? 603 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,789 Aren't you frustrated? You climb and climb and go nowhere. 604 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:59,755 I love it! Burns off the booze. You want to know something? 605 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:04,033 - I get my best ideas when I work out. - You get ideas?! 606 00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:07,232 It clears out my head. I think straight. Everything makes sense. 607 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,512 Better start thinking because we need Morty's books to prove fraud. 608 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:14,395 I know where they are! Morty just bought Shelly a penthouse. 609 00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,876 - Now, figure out how to get in. - Duarto. 610 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:21,038 Shelly has a new apartment that needs to be decorated. 611 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,872 Gunilla, I'd adore it. 612 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,030 Enchant�e. Au revoir, jolie! 613 00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:37,554 Gunilla Garson-Goldberg personally invited me to her society luncheon. 614 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,512 Why? 615 00:46:41,240 --> 00:46:46,598 Gunilla Goldberg was happy helping us, she being a fiirst wlfe herself. 616 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,634 Indeed, Gunilla was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd - 617 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:55,311 - And 4th wlfe, which accounted for her very comfortable surroundings. 618 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,353 This is delicious! Usually I bring my own dressing. 619 00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:02,473 That fat-free ranch stuff, but this is restaurant quality. 620 00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:05,399 - Thank you. - Can I tell you something? 621 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,670 When I first got your call, I said to Morty... 622 00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:12,351 'This just feels so right." Me and Gunilla. 623 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,758 I used to work for Morty as his executive assistant. 624 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,554 He was married to that nightmare then... Brenda - 625 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,354 - A completely class-free dumpster woman. 626 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,836 I said to him: "Morty, you' ve got to move on and move up." 627 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:30,192 Now, here I am! Taste Central. 628 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:36,919 The moment I saw you... my first impression was she's someone... 629 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,874 See, that's what I told him. But he doesn't get it. 630 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,356 - He doesn't get a lot of things. - Are you finished? 631 00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,438 - Yeah, I'm done. - Take the fork. 632 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,512 Fork! 633 00:47:53,400 --> 00:48:00,397 All you need to enter society is some advice and a guiding hand. 634 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,318 Like what? 635 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:06,433 The correct florist and the utterly ideal chef. 636 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,996 Of course, a decorator... of death. 637 00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,950 Your house is your calling card. It has to be perfected - 638 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,628 - Photographed, published. 639 00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,354 Can you really help me? I would kill for that. 640 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:26,999 That's unnecessary. Just two words: Duarto Feliz. 641 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:30,590 He is a genius. A gem! 642 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:35,549 Of course, he's impossible to get. He works all the time. 643 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:42,274 Oh, my God! 644 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,558 There she is! Princess Pelvis. 645 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,069 - Gunilla says she went for it. - Fabulous! 646 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,077 Johnny, let's go. 647 00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:53,078 So, Duarto makes his move and Shelly falls for it. 648 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,158 - Let's synchronize our watches. - Just like "Mission Impossible". 649 00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:01,191 - These people are always late. - Shut up, Morty, and stay shut up. 650 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,631 - Take it easy. - What if he doesn't like us? 52774

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