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1
00:00:07,461 --> 00:00:10,731
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
2
00:00:10,731 --> 00:00:13,567
- Oh, my God!
3
00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:14,902
You know what?
4
00:00:14,902 --> 00:00:16,737
I'm actually so excited
college is over.
5
00:00:16,737 --> 00:00:17,738
- Me too.
- You know what I mean?
6
00:00:17,738 --> 00:00:19,039
I'm ready to enter, like,
7
00:00:19,039 --> 00:00:20,875
an easier part of my life.
- Yeah.
8
00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:22,176
- Uh, hi.
9
00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:23,643
We're picking up
our drink tickets
10
00:00:23,643 --> 00:00:25,445
under Elliott Goss
and Portia Davenport.
11
00:00:25,445 --> 00:00:26,881
We graduated.
12
00:00:26,881 --> 00:00:29,383
We're graduates.
- I'm not seeing your name.
13
00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:31,585
Elliott Goss, right?
14
00:00:31,585 --> 00:00:33,287
Okay, that's weird
you don't have my name.
15
00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:35,022
Um, School of Poli-Sci?
16
00:00:35,022 --> 00:00:36,623
- Yeah, no.
- No.
17
00:00:36,623 --> 00:00:38,693
You always have the weirdest
luck with this stuff.
18
00:00:38,693 --> 00:00:39,994
You know what?
Just give me the tickets.
19
00:00:39,994 --> 00:00:41,829
It doesn't matter anyway.
- Portia!
20
00:00:41,829 --> 00:00:43,263
- Hi!
21
00:00:43,263 --> 00:00:45,132
We nabbed a table and got
you guys beers.
22
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,767
You guys!
Oh, my God!
23
00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:49,670
Oh, my God!
- Guys, we graduated!
24
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:53,407
We're, like,
officially adults now.
25
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:55,309
Don't say that, Drewski.
I don't wanna be an adult.
26
00:00:55,309 --> 00:00:58,078
I just wanna be, like,
a baby in a womb.
27
00:00:58,078 --> 00:00:59,613
- Oh, sorry.
28
00:00:59,613 --> 00:01:00,948
Oh, it's okay.
29
00:01:00,948 --> 00:01:02,683
- Yeah.
- I have to admit.
30
00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:05,920
Um, I'm weirdly feeling
very hopeful.
31
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,421
- Hmm.
- You are?
32
00:01:07,421 --> 00:01:09,156
Make me feel like that.
- Come on, look at us.
33
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,726
I mean, Portia,
you're such an amazing actress.
34
00:01:11,726 --> 00:01:12,927
- Aww.
- Stop!
35
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,294
It's so true.
both: It's true.
36
00:01:14,294 --> 00:01:15,830
When you walk
on to the stage, like,
37
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,832
you just radiate
this unique light.
38
00:01:17,832 --> 00:01:19,433
- Aww.
- And Elliott--
39
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,501
Don't.
40
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:25,605
You're so smart,
and you read people so well.
41
00:01:25,605 --> 00:01:27,441
You just understand them,
you know?
42
00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:29,609
There's no way that you're not
gonna be influential.
43
00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:31,979
Okay, Dory, I'm gonna cry.
Stop it!
44
00:01:31,979 --> 00:01:34,915
- And Drew...
- Yes?
45
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:37,351
You're just--
you're so sensitive
46
00:01:37,351 --> 00:01:39,019
but grounded, you know?
47
00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:40,420
I feel like people
in the business world
48
00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:43,390
are just gonna have
to make way for you
49
00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:47,361
because you're gonna be
the biggest-hearted human being
50
00:01:47,361 --> 00:01:49,897
Wall Street has ever seen.
51
00:01:49,897 --> 00:01:51,866
- I love you.
- I love you too.
52
00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:53,300
- Oh!
- Cute!
53
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,501
I just wanna say
that I think
54
00:01:54,501 --> 00:01:56,570
we're gonna do and make
55
00:01:56,570 --> 00:01:58,873
really beautiful things,
56
00:01:58,873 --> 00:02:01,709
and have amazing lives,
and you're my family.
57
00:02:01,709 --> 00:02:03,077
Aww!
58
00:02:03,077 --> 00:02:04,879
To our family
and to our amazing lives!
59
00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:07,547
all: To our family
and our amazing lives!
60
00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:30,437
♪ Oh, but dear,
the sky is low, watch ♪
61
00:02:30,437 --> 00:02:34,274
♪ Fluent seamen rig
their rudders so they'll... ♪
62
00:02:39,213 --> 00:02:41,949
Bon appétit, mademoiselle.
63
00:02:41,949 --> 00:02:45,252
I threw an extra nugget
in today!
64
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,688
It was the last one
in the bag.
65
00:02:47,688 --> 00:02:49,956
I mean, why not?
66
00:03:14,248 --> 00:03:16,884
Can anybody hear me?
67
00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:21,188
Help!
68
00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:23,223
Help me!
69
00:03:23,223 --> 00:03:24,659
Hello?
70
00:03:24,659 --> 00:03:26,460
Can anybody hear me?
71
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,096
Help me!
72
00:03:29,096 --> 00:03:30,931
Can anybody hear me?
73
00:03:34,168 --> 00:03:37,805
- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
74
00:03:37,805 --> 00:03:41,709
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
75
00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:45,545
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
76
00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:53,553
Yeah!
Whoo!
77
00:04:02,529 --> 00:04:04,498
all: Oh!
78
00:04:04,498 --> 00:04:05,833
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Ha-ha!
79
00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:08,168
Too slow this time,
Prince Grisly!
80
00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:10,370
I'll win the heart
of the beautiful maiden yet.
81
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:12,973
Who could love
an unsightly animal like you?
82
00:04:12,973 --> 00:04:15,209
- Ahh!
83
00:04:15,209 --> 00:04:16,310
Ahh!
84
00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:18,345
Get him, Prince Grisly!
Yeah!
85
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,714
Get him!
86
00:04:19,714 --> 00:04:22,449
- Ahh!
87
00:04:22,449 --> 00:04:26,053
Damn it, Gustave.
Falling is for amateurs.
88
00:04:26,053 --> 00:04:28,989
But you--you, man--
you were amazing!
89
00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:30,590
Best Prince Grisly
we've ever had.
90
00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:31,992
You nailed it, bro!
91
00:04:31,992 --> 00:04:34,294
Thanks, man.
92
00:04:34,294 --> 00:04:36,330
I love it!
I love it so much!
93
00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:37,965
I mean, did you see those kids?
94
00:04:37,965 --> 00:04:40,367
They're just, like,
laughing and smiling.
95
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:44,338
I could do this for the rest
of my goddamn life.
96
00:04:46,507 --> 00:04:48,475
Holy shit.
Are you okay, Andrew?
97
00:04:49,876 --> 00:04:51,111
Oh, yeah.
98
00:04:51,111 --> 00:04:53,648
I'm just--
I'm hot from the hat.
99
00:04:53,648 --> 00:04:55,182
But shouldn't you
be used to heat, though?
100
00:04:55,182 --> 00:04:57,018
Didn't you say
you're from South Africa?
101
00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:00,354
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I am from South Africa.
102
00:05:00,354 --> 00:05:01,922
You know what's funny, dude?
103
00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:03,457
Sometimes I can hear
the accent in you,
104
00:05:03,457 --> 00:05:05,993
but I really gotta stretch
my ears for it, you know?
105
00:05:05,993 --> 00:05:07,795
- Yeah, yeah.
106
00:05:07,795 --> 00:05:09,063
Actually,
a lot of people say that.
107
00:05:09,063 --> 00:05:10,530
It's, uh--
108
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:13,033
it's because my parents
were American diplomats,
109
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,502
so I just sort of inherited
their accent.
110
00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:17,504
That's kind of cool, though.
111
00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,572
It makes you cut from
112
00:05:18,572 --> 00:05:20,474
a different kind of cloth,
you know?
113
00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:24,644
Nah.
I'm one of y'all.
114
00:05:24,644 --> 00:05:26,881
I belong here.
115
00:05:26,881 --> 00:05:28,916
Why did you do this to me?
116
00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:31,085
We were friends.
117
00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:32,920
We're friend--
we're your friends.
118
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,555
Ugh.
Friends!
119
00:05:35,555 --> 00:05:36,957
Why did you do this to me?
120
00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:39,493
We were friends!
Friends!
121
00:05:41,095 --> 00:05:42,362
We were friends.
122
00:05:42,362 --> 00:05:46,233
We were friends.
We were friends.
123
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:49,636
Friends.
We were friends.
124
00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:51,438
Name?
125
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,640
Hi.
Uh, Portia Davenport.
126
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,276
Yes, everyone's reading
for Portia Davenport,
127
00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:58,112
but what's your real name?
128
00:05:59,713 --> 00:06:02,917
No, I am the real
Portia Davenport.
129
00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,220
Oh, maybe
I am missing one.
130
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:07,822
No, I don't have one.
131
00:06:07,822 --> 00:06:09,523
- Hi.
- Oh, gosh, hi!
132
00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:11,826
- Hi there.
- Portia Davenport.
133
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:13,393
Such a pleasure.
Hi, Roger Carrots.
134
00:06:13,393 --> 00:06:15,062
Hi, Mr. Carrots,
so nice to meet you.
135
00:06:15,062 --> 00:06:16,330
- Greg Carrots--big fan.
- Hi.
136
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,497
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
137
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:18,933
I'm so sorry,
you guys, for just,
138
00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:20,200
like, barging in on you
139
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,802
like this,
completely unannounced.
140
00:06:21,802 --> 00:06:23,871
I just needed to talk to you
141
00:06:23,871 --> 00:06:25,906
because it was brought
to my attention
142
00:06:25,906 --> 00:06:28,308
that you are using my name
and my likeness
143
00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:32,179
in your film,
"Savage: The Dory Sief Story."
144
00:06:32,179 --> 00:06:34,715
Portia, before we get too far
into that--actually,
145
00:06:34,715 --> 00:06:36,350
this is perfect timing.
146
00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:38,853
Uh, Portia this is
our lawyer, Hugh Sneezer.
147
00:06:38,853 --> 00:06:41,221
- Hi, Mr. Sneezer, so nice to--
- Hello, Ms. Davenport.
148
00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:42,957
Put your hand away.
149
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,659
Let me just get straight
to the point.
150
00:06:44,659 --> 00:06:47,494
As a public figure
in a very public trial,
151
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,197
you have hardly any ground
to fight us on our right
152
00:06:50,197 --> 00:06:52,833
to portray you in any light
that we favor.
153
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:54,769
And with all due respect,
154
00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:57,337
if you're interested
in pursuing legal action,
155
00:06:57,337 --> 00:06:59,373
I guarantee you it will be
156
00:06:59,373 --> 00:07:02,342
an enormous waste
of time and money.
157
00:07:02,342 --> 00:07:04,511
Do we have an understanding?
158
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,414
I was actually just hoping
I could audition.
159
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,217
- Oh, audition.
- Yeah.
160
00:07:10,217 --> 00:07:13,153
I just really think
I could nail this part.
161
00:07:13,153 --> 00:07:14,621
It would be such an honor
162
00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:16,824
if I could prove myself
to you as Portia.
163
00:07:16,824 --> 00:07:19,493
Well, this has been
an incredible waste of my time.
164
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:21,428
I'll see you both in court.
- All right, bye.
165
00:07:21,428 --> 00:07:22,963
See you, Hugh.
- Bye, Hugh.
166
00:07:22,963 --> 00:07:24,364
- Bye, Hugh.
- Wow.
167
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:27,201
I mean, what makes you wanna
play yourself?
168
00:07:27,201 --> 00:07:29,569
I think it would
actually be very healing.
169
00:07:29,569 --> 00:07:31,505
I could kind of get
some closure, you know,
170
00:07:31,505 --> 00:07:34,074
really own it,
take my power back.
171
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:35,375
You know what I mean?
172
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,011
I think there's a lot
of dignity in that.
173
00:07:37,011 --> 00:07:38,245
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
174
00:07:38,245 --> 00:07:39,513
I mean, that's interesting.
175
00:07:39,513 --> 00:07:41,381
- Mm-hmm.
- That's very interesting.
176
00:07:41,381 --> 00:07:42,516
Mm-hmm.
177
00:07:42,516 --> 00:07:43,450
Um, of course,
178
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,085
you would not have to audition.
179
00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,620
- Oh, okay.
- No, we would have
180
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:49,589
to just talk amongst ourselves.
- Sure, yeah.
181
00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:51,558
And then of course
with the network, Streamer.
182
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,027
- Okay, well, thank you guys...
- Great!
183
00:07:53,027 --> 00:07:54,461
- So much for your time.
- Thank you.
184
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:56,196
- Yes.
- Great energy in this room,
185
00:07:56,196 --> 00:07:57,597
by the way.
- And you too--thank you.
186
00:07:57,597 --> 00:08:00,034
Thank you so much
for coming in.
187
00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:01,602
- Bye!
- There she goes.
188
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:14,548
Okay, this is what
I'm talking about.
189
00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:17,217
Our planet is literally
a ticking time bomb,
190
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:18,653
but the Republican Party
191
00:08:18,653 --> 00:08:21,255
is too busy demonizing
the disenfranchised
192
00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:24,191
to even pretend to care.
- Okay, I don't even know
193
00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:25,525
what I'm looking at.
- What?
194
00:08:25,525 --> 00:08:26,794
What even was that
a video of?
195
00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:27,828
Charlie, that was a video
196
00:08:27,828 --> 00:08:29,263
of one of the world's last
197
00:08:29,263 --> 00:08:30,998
prime glaciers eroding.
198
00:08:30,998 --> 00:08:32,366
- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.
199
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:34,501
Our graphics department
made that, sloppily.
200
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:36,103
That was the worst video
of mayonnaise
201
00:08:36,103 --> 00:08:38,072
being poured onto a plate
I have ever seen.
202
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,574
And the gullibility of the left
203
00:08:40,574 --> 00:08:42,142
is out of control.
- Oh!
204
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,945
Okay, Charlie,
a very famous scientist,
205
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:48,248
Eiricke Ludwig Hoggerman,
took that video yesterday.
206
00:08:48,248 --> 00:08:49,549
Honestly, girl,
just read a book...
207
00:08:49,549 --> 00:08:50,851
- Okay, yeah.
- Once in your life.
208
00:08:50,851 --> 00:08:52,319
Hi.
I know who Eiricke is.
209
00:08:52,319 --> 00:08:54,388
He's a liar, just like you.
- Oh, Charlie,
210
00:08:54,388 --> 00:08:55,956
I'm actually really glad
you called me a liar
211
00:08:55,956 --> 00:08:57,457
because you're
the biggest liar out there.
212
00:08:57,457 --> 00:08:58,859
Your hair's a lie.
- No, it's not.
213
00:08:58,859 --> 00:09:00,060
- Your teeth are a lie.
- No, it's not.
214
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,561
Your ass is a lie.
215
00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:02,863
- No, it's not.
- It's all lie, lie, lie, lie,
216
00:09:02,863 --> 00:09:04,098
lie, lie, lie, lie, lie!
217
00:09:04,098 --> 00:09:05,199
- No, it's not.
- Oh, really?
218
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:06,466
You sure about that?
Okay.
219
00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:07,735
Because I've actually
found some
220
00:09:07,735 --> 00:09:09,203
very interesting pictures
of you
221
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:11,038
from 2014 that I'm sure
222
00:09:11,038 --> 00:09:12,673
our audience would love to see.
223
00:09:15,242 --> 00:09:16,844
- Where did you get that?
- Facebook.
224
00:09:16,844 --> 00:09:18,645
- Where did you get that?
- Oh, my God!
225
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,181
Oh, my God!
226
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:22,449
- Ahh!
227
00:09:22,449 --> 00:09:24,018
It's fake!
228
00:09:24,018 --> 00:09:25,720
It's fake!
- No, it's not!
229
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,154
Extensions!
230
00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:41,802
Come on, sunshine.
231
00:09:41,802 --> 00:09:43,604
Time to get up.
232
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,908
I don't feel well.
233
00:09:51,312 --> 00:09:52,880
Why do you look like that?
234
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,849
Like what?
235
00:09:54,849 --> 00:09:56,183
Oh.
236
00:09:56,183 --> 00:09:58,352
Well, this is
my Aunt Lylah's house,
237
00:09:58,352 --> 00:09:59,687
so when I go into town,
238
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:01,989
I have to dress in disguise
as her.
239
00:10:01,989 --> 00:10:03,824
How old's your aunt?
240
00:10:03,824 --> 00:10:05,860
Like, 70.
241
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,195
You think people think
242
00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:11,298
you could be in your 70s?
243
00:10:11,298 --> 00:10:13,200
You know,
you don't seem sick!
244
00:10:14,468 --> 00:10:15,870
It's my stomach.
245
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:17,337
I don't think
I should be eating
246
00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:18,939
the same thing for every meal.
247
00:10:18,939 --> 00:10:22,109
It's making me sick.
- Consistency is good for you.
248
00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:24,845
Olympians eat the same thing
every day.
249
00:10:24,845 --> 00:10:26,914
Anyway...
250
00:10:26,914 --> 00:10:30,584
I came down here
because I wanted to show you
251
00:10:30,584 --> 00:10:34,054
something that I'm really
excited to show you.
252
00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,600
- You made these?
- Mm-hmm.
253
00:10:48,435 --> 00:10:50,337
Oh, they're actually
really good.
254
00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:56,443
Oh, wow.
255
00:10:57,944 --> 00:11:00,147
Oh, my God.
256
00:11:04,652 --> 00:11:07,922
I'm so happy to see these.
I love them!
257
00:11:07,922 --> 00:11:09,289
- No!
258
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:12,226
No!
Dory, you don't love them.
259
00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:14,929
You hate them!
260
00:11:14,929 --> 00:11:17,231
Dory,
261
00:11:17,231 --> 00:11:19,433
I made these
so that you could work through
262
00:11:19,433 --> 00:11:22,169
your trauma with them.
263
00:11:22,169 --> 00:11:25,439
So look at Drew.
264
00:11:25,439 --> 00:11:28,375
Look at him and tell him
265
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:32,046
you hate what he did to you!
266
00:11:41,789 --> 00:11:44,958
- Hi, Drew.
- Hi, Dory.
267
00:11:46,593 --> 00:11:49,029
It's so good to see you.
268
00:11:49,029 --> 00:11:50,965
I've missed you so much.
269
00:11:50,965 --> 00:11:53,701
I missed you too.
I'm so glad you're okay.
270
00:11:53,701 --> 00:11:56,236
- Yeah.
271
00:11:58,205 --> 00:12:00,107
It's okay.
272
00:12:00,107 --> 00:12:02,009
No!
No!
273
00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:03,377
Dory!
274
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:04,945
You are never
going to get better
275
00:12:04,945 --> 00:12:07,481
if you're not willing
to put in the work!
276
00:12:08,515 --> 00:12:11,618
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing's wrong with me.
277
00:12:11,618 --> 00:12:14,021
I have an extremely high IQ.
278
00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:17,858
I have a PhD in psychology,
an MFA in visual art,
279
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:19,960
and a doctorate
in behavioral health,
280
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,297
which should be proof enough
that I am perfectly capable
281
00:12:23,297 --> 00:12:24,865
of functioning in society.
282
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:28,368
If anything's wrong with me...
283
00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:30,570
yeah, I guess,
maybe I was given
284
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,506
a few too many options
growing up.
285
00:12:32,506 --> 00:12:34,975
Okay?
Because that's pressure!
286
00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:38,745
That's the pressure
of true privilege.
287
00:12:40,914 --> 00:12:43,083
No.
That's not it, though.
288
00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:47,922
You're... psychotic.
289
00:12:47,922 --> 00:12:50,424
- I'm not a freak!
- I didn't call you a freak.
290
00:12:50,424 --> 00:12:52,059
You called me a freak,
291
00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:53,293
and I'm not a freak!
292
00:12:56,664 --> 00:12:58,733
Well, wait.
Can't I keep them?
293
00:12:58,733 --> 00:13:00,500
No!
294
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:03,804
You're the freak!
295
00:13:03,804 --> 00:13:05,439
Good luck on your date, Phil.
296
00:13:05,439 --> 00:13:07,207
Don't be ashamed
of that dead tooth, okay?
297
00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:08,542
- Elliott.
298
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:09,710
Oh.
299
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:10,878
Can Tina and I have your ear
300
00:13:10,878 --> 00:13:12,579
for a minute?
- Of course.
301
00:13:12,579 --> 00:13:13,613
Let's cut to the chase, Elliott.
302
00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:14,815
You're smart.
303
00:13:14,815 --> 00:13:15,716
People like you.
304
00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:17,484
There's something there.
305
00:13:17,484 --> 00:13:19,619
We just haven't quite
hooked into it yet,
306
00:13:19,619 --> 00:13:21,121
and I think what's perhaps
not working is,
307
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:23,257
no one really wants to see
Blue State.
308
00:13:23,257 --> 00:13:24,491
- Huh.
- Believe it or not,
309
00:13:24,491 --> 00:13:26,360
our viewers are just not interested
310
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,162
in your political perspective.
311
00:13:29,696 --> 00:13:31,732
I'll--I'll suck your dick.
312
00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:34,401
Oh.
No, no.
313
00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:35,836
Thank you, though.
314
00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:37,771
That's a solution
to a different problem.
315
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:41,441
Tina had an idea
I think might benefit us.
316
00:13:41,441 --> 00:13:43,577
Tina?
- So I was thinking,
317
00:13:43,577 --> 00:13:47,882
what if Elliott Goss
switched party lines,
318
00:13:47,882 --> 00:13:49,750
had a little change of heart,
319
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:52,919
and came to see things
our way--the right way?
320
00:13:55,756 --> 00:13:56,991
Wait, wait, wait.
321
00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:59,059
So--so are you telling me
that you want me
322
00:13:59,059 --> 00:14:01,228
to just become
fully conservative?
323
00:14:01,228 --> 00:14:02,897
Two smart conservatives
324
00:14:02,897 --> 00:14:05,432
ranting about
the liberal politics--
325
00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:07,801
we'd call it "Right is Right."
326
00:14:09,270 --> 00:14:10,671
Kay, wow.
327
00:14:10,671 --> 00:14:12,773
I guess I just need you guys
to understand
328
00:14:12,773 --> 00:14:14,508
that what you're asking me
to do
329
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,677
is quite frankly unholy,
330
00:14:16,677 --> 00:14:18,545
and I'm honestly
a little offended
331
00:14:18,545 --> 00:14:20,280
that you think I would
just abandon my values
332
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,481
so flippantly like that.
333
00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:22,850
So...
- We understand that.
334
00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:24,985
- Mm-hmm.
- And if you'd like to pursue
335
00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:27,287
an anchor position
at another reputable network,
336
00:14:27,287 --> 00:14:28,555
we understand that as well.
337
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,157
It just might be
a little difficult
338
00:14:30,157 --> 00:14:32,159
for a lying piece of trash personality
339
00:14:32,159 --> 00:14:33,493
such as yourself.
340
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:35,362
I fear you may find
your options
341
00:14:35,362 --> 00:14:37,932
are a little limited.
342
00:14:37,932 --> 00:14:39,599
Up to you.
343
00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:43,037
Okay, excuse me.
344
00:14:51,945 --> 00:14:54,248
I'll need a 40% raise,
a permanent hotel room
345
00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:57,617
at Columbus Circle, childcare,
and no one is allowed
346
00:14:57,617 --> 00:14:59,219
to ask questions about that,
and a zip line
347
00:14:59,219 --> 00:15:01,822
from my family's trailer
to their town's post office.
348
00:15:04,058 --> 00:15:05,092
Done and done.
349
00:15:05,092 --> 00:15:07,594
Thank you guys so much.
350
00:15:23,410 --> 00:15:25,045
Ahh!
351
00:15:28,849 --> 00:15:31,385
- Dory?
352
00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:33,420
Have you formed
your apology yet?
353
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,955
I'm open...
354
00:15:34,955 --> 00:15:37,257
To hearing it.
355
00:15:41,162 --> 00:15:43,264
Oh, my God.
356
00:15:44,798 --> 00:15:47,101
I shat myself.
357
00:15:47,101 --> 00:15:48,769
Oh!
358
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:50,004
Oh!
- Oh, God.
359
00:15:50,004 --> 00:15:51,939
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
360
00:15:51,939 --> 00:15:53,841
I'm not good
with that kind of thing.
361
00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:56,043
I'm sorry!
362
00:15:56,043 --> 00:15:58,245
This is far too icky!
363
00:15:58,245 --> 00:16:00,948
Uh, we'll just have
to get you cleaned up,
364
00:16:00,948 --> 00:16:04,584
and, um, I'm gonna have
to take you upstairs!
365
00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:05,952
Oh, my God!
366
00:16:06,887 --> 00:16:09,690
Now, if you try to run away,
367
00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:12,559
I will break both of your legs.
368
00:16:12,559 --> 00:16:16,196
Um--oh, God.
Please turn around, okay?
369
00:16:16,196 --> 00:16:18,532
Oh, you smell so bad.
It stinks.
370
00:16:18,532 --> 00:16:20,201
Okay, let's go.
371
00:16:21,535 --> 00:16:22,670
We're going upstairs.
372
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,839
Okay, stop.
373
00:16:24,839 --> 00:16:27,341
Turn.
Turn around.
374
00:16:28,809 --> 00:16:32,079
No.
375
00:16:32,079 --> 00:16:33,648
Okay.
376
00:16:33,648 --> 00:16:36,116
Up we go.
377
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:37,885
Turn, turn.
378
00:16:37,885 --> 00:16:40,587
No, there's nothing to see.
There's nothing to know about.
379
00:16:40,587 --> 00:16:43,257
It's just a bunch
of barbed wire.
380
00:16:43,257 --> 00:16:45,826
Up past the snakes,
381
00:16:45,826 --> 00:16:47,795
a bunch of snakes.
382
00:16:47,795 --> 00:16:50,831
Okay, come on in.
383
00:16:50,831 --> 00:16:53,100
We're in the bathroom now.
384
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,235
Almost home free.
Keep stepping.
385
00:16:55,235 --> 00:16:57,637
Okay, stop.
We're at the tub.
386
00:16:57,637 --> 00:16:59,874
Just gonna turn
the water on for you.
387
00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:02,276
Uh, okay.
388
00:17:02,276 --> 00:17:03,811
Don't worry.
389
00:17:03,811 --> 00:17:05,345
Um, a gentleman
would never look
390
00:17:05,345 --> 00:17:07,348
at his best friend's body.
391
00:17:08,482 --> 00:17:09,784
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
392
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:12,820
Just, um, go ahead and step in.
393
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:16,523
Yep, it's one
of the old claw-foot guys.
394
00:17:16,523 --> 00:17:18,726
Okay, good.
395
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:21,595
- We're set.
396
00:17:21,595 --> 00:17:23,731
Just--ow!
Jesus Christ!
397
00:17:23,731 --> 00:17:25,099
Sorry.
398
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:27,534
That pipe's hot.
Careful when you come out.
399
00:17:27,534 --> 00:17:31,205
You'll wanna watch for that.
400
00:17:34,975 --> 00:17:36,977
Did I ever tell you
about that time
401
00:17:36,977 --> 00:17:40,080
I met Princess Diana?
402
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,381
No.
403
00:17:41,381 --> 00:17:45,953
I was five years old
at boarding school,
404
00:17:45,953 --> 00:17:48,555
up in the English countryside,
405
00:17:48,555 --> 00:17:51,692
and the royals would pop in
and out all the time, you know.
406
00:17:51,692 --> 00:17:54,628
But she came one day,
407
00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:58,132
and she was just taken with me.
408
00:17:58,132 --> 00:18:00,134
And she sat me on her knee,
409
00:18:00,134 --> 00:18:02,436
and she wanted to know
all my thoughts
410
00:18:02,436 --> 00:18:06,240
on her career, you know,
but this was all very hushed.
411
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,608
And I looked at her,
412
00:18:08,608 --> 00:18:11,979
and I said, "Diana.
413
00:18:11,979 --> 00:18:14,815
You need to be taking risks."
414
00:18:14,815 --> 00:18:16,851
You know, "I think you need
to be willing
415
00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:19,153
to put your life on the line."
416
00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:20,788
Wow!
417
00:18:20,788 --> 00:18:23,123
That's--that's amazing!
- Yeah!
418
00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:27,594
You know, I said,
"Make a statement, turn heads."
419
00:18:27,594 --> 00:18:30,297
And lo and behold,
two years later,
420
00:18:30,297 --> 00:18:31,799
what is she doing?
421
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:37,637
She is standing
in a field of land mines,
422
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:39,674
proudly defying death.
423
00:18:39,674 --> 00:18:40,941
Mm.
424
00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:45,345
And, um, I--I bring it up
425
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,782
because, um,
426
00:18:47,782 --> 00:18:50,384
you remind me of her, Dory.
427
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:54,855
I mean, you're so brave.
428
00:18:56,857 --> 00:18:59,026
It's really, really admirable.
429
00:18:59,026 --> 00:19:01,929
Okay, shower time over.
430
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:03,597
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Chip, can I just shower
431
00:19:03,597 --> 00:19:04,865
just a little bit longer?
432
00:19:04,865 --> 00:19:05,933
Please?
- Oh, gosh.
433
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,267
No, I don't think so, honey.
434
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,203
I don't want you to get
too prune-y.
435
00:19:17,711 --> 00:19:20,247
That was nice.
436
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:23,450
I liked talking with you
in the shower,
437
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:25,853
and I like feeling clean.
438
00:19:25,853 --> 00:19:27,354
Mm.
439
00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:32,459
Maybe we can do it again
some time.
440
00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:39,166
Probably not.
441
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,501
Oh, but hey.
442
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:45,272
If you do poop yourself again,
443
00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:47,841
I'll just burn
this whole house down.
444
00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:52,012
Okay, kids, it's time for me
to put Ratty Raccoon
445
00:19:52,012 --> 00:19:53,513
down for his afternoon nap.
446
00:19:53,513 --> 00:19:55,883
Let's all sing him a song
to help him get sleepy.
447
00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,652
♪ If you can sleep ♪
448
00:19:57,652 --> 00:20:01,288
♪ Then you can dream,
and if you can dream ♪
449
00:20:01,288 --> 00:20:04,224
♪ That's when wishes
come true ♪
450
00:20:07,394 --> 00:20:08,996
Oh!
451
00:20:08,996 --> 00:20:10,898
It's Darby the cowgirl!
452
00:20:10,898 --> 00:20:13,567
Gosh, I bet she's got
some great American tales
453
00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:15,035
from the Wild, Wild West.
454
00:20:15,035 --> 00:20:16,771
Yeah!
455
00:20:16,771 --> 00:20:18,172
Oh!
456
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:30,284
Andrew, stop!
- What?
457
00:20:30,284 --> 00:20:32,987
- We could get in trouble.
- God, I can't help it.
458
00:20:32,987 --> 00:20:35,322
You know what
I'm in the mood for?
459
00:20:35,322 --> 00:20:37,557
For me to tell you
what I like about you?
460
00:20:37,557 --> 00:20:39,126
Mm-hmm.
461
00:20:40,027 --> 00:20:43,530
Well, you're good-hearted.
462
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,299
You're positive.
- Mm-hmm.
463
00:20:45,299 --> 00:20:49,203
You're happy,
and you make me feel happy.
464
00:20:52,973 --> 00:20:54,675
Can I tell you something?
465
00:20:54,675 --> 00:20:56,076
Of course.
466
00:20:56,076 --> 00:20:57,712
Last year, during Wish Week,
467
00:20:57,712 --> 00:21:00,147
when it was my turn to put
a star on the staff wall...
468
00:21:00,147 --> 00:21:01,081
Yeah?
469
00:21:01,081 --> 00:21:03,951
I wished for a tall white man
470
00:21:03,951 --> 00:21:06,220
with sweet eyes
to come and sweep me
471
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:09,189
off my feet, and then when
you started working here,
472
00:21:09,189 --> 00:21:11,158
I called my abuelita,
and I told her,
473
00:21:11,158 --> 00:21:13,761
"I think my wish
is coming true."
474
00:21:15,095 --> 00:21:17,398
Is your wish coming true?
475
00:21:18,432 --> 00:21:20,334
I think so.
476
00:21:20,334 --> 00:21:22,302
You know,
I came here once as a kid,
477
00:21:22,302 --> 00:21:24,504
and it was, like,
my favorite memory.
478
00:21:24,504 --> 00:21:26,273
And the last couple years
479
00:21:26,273 --> 00:21:28,442
haven't really been
so easy for me.
480
00:21:28,442 --> 00:21:29,476
So...
481
00:21:29,476 --> 00:21:30,811
I don't know why
it didn't occur to me
482
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:31,946
to come here sooner.
483
00:21:31,946 --> 00:21:34,014
I mean, it is so joyful here!
484
00:21:34,014 --> 00:21:35,349
- Yeah!
- And, like, they play
485
00:21:35,349 --> 00:21:36,917
amazing music all the time.
- Yeah!
486
00:21:36,917 --> 00:21:38,819
And the food rocks!
487
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:41,722
I know.
488
00:21:41,722 --> 00:21:43,891
And all this time,
489
00:21:43,891 --> 00:21:47,027
a beautiful princesa
was waiting for me.
490
00:21:48,295 --> 00:21:50,698
What more could a guy like me
ask for?
491
00:21:54,301 --> 00:21:56,937
- Hello?
- Portia!
492
00:21:56,937 --> 00:21:58,739
How are you?
- I'm so good!
493
00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:01,308
Thank you so much for asking.
How are you?
494
00:22:01,308 --> 00:22:02,176
Good.
495
00:22:02,176 --> 00:22:03,343
So we heard back
496
00:22:03,343 --> 00:22:04,712
from the "Savage" producers...
497
00:22:04,712 --> 00:22:06,113
Okay.
498
00:22:06,113 --> 00:22:07,581
And we have
interesting news.
499
00:22:07,581 --> 00:22:09,884
So they're
a little concerned
500
00:22:09,884 --> 00:22:11,618
about how awkward it might get
501
00:22:11,618 --> 00:22:14,488
to note your performance
as Portia
502
00:22:14,488 --> 00:22:17,391
being that
you're the real Portia.
503
00:22:17,391 --> 00:22:19,426
They wanna gauge
your interest
504
00:22:19,426 --> 00:22:21,295
in possibly playing the lead.
505
00:22:21,295 --> 00:22:24,598
The le--the lead?
Who's the--what's the lead?
506
00:22:24,598 --> 00:22:27,167
Well, it's your friend, Dory.
507
00:22:27,167 --> 00:22:28,268
Wait.
Sorry.
508
00:22:28,268 --> 00:22:29,837
They want me to play Dory?
509
00:22:29,837 --> 00:22:33,073
They think it'll be
exciting stunt casting!
510
00:22:33,073 --> 00:22:34,775
It's just--that's awesome.
511
00:22:34,775 --> 00:22:37,845
I think--I do think I should
check in with Dory about it,
512
00:22:37,845 --> 00:22:38,946
if that's okay.
513
00:22:38,946 --> 00:22:40,347
Absolutely.
514
00:22:40,347 --> 00:22:42,282
Well, let us know
what she says,
515
00:22:42,282 --> 00:22:44,051
and we'll get into it.
- Okay.
516
00:22:44,051 --> 00:22:45,653
- This is exciting!
- It is!
517
00:22:45,653 --> 00:22:48,188
Oh, my gosh, thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.
518
00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:50,991
Have such a great day.
519
00:22:58,032 --> 00:22:59,934
Come on!
I just need something sharp!
520
00:23:11,378 --> 00:23:13,480
Come on, come on, come on!
521
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,317
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
522
00:23:17,317 --> 00:23:21,288
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
523
00:23:21,288 --> 00:23:25,325
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
524
00:23:25,325 --> 00:23:27,528
♪ Groove is in the heart ♪
525
00:23:28,362 --> 00:23:30,497
Hi, Dor!
It's me.
526
00:23:30,497 --> 00:23:34,234
Oh, my gosh, you are so cute
in all your Europe pics.
527
00:23:34,234 --> 00:23:36,671
I'm freaking out.
I miss you so much.
528
00:23:36,671 --> 00:23:40,174
Um, anyway, look,
I'm calling to tell you
529
00:23:40,174 --> 00:23:42,142
that I have some
really exciting news!
530
00:23:42,142 --> 00:23:43,643
I got a really big part!
531
00:23:43,643 --> 00:23:46,781
It's this amazing
complex role... of you.
532
00:23:46,781 --> 00:23:49,183
It's you.
The part is you.
533
00:23:49,183 --> 00:23:52,987
And it's a big opportunity
for me as an actor.
534
00:23:52,987 --> 00:23:56,423
And it's--I'm calling to see
how you feel about it,
535
00:23:56,423 --> 00:23:59,193
and, you know, I am calling
to ask your permission.
536
00:23:59,193 --> 00:24:01,696
But it's more
of just a formality.
537
00:24:01,696 --> 00:24:06,066
I am doing it, regardless
of what you think or say.
538
00:24:06,066 --> 00:24:09,036
Anyway, kiss Paris for me!
I love ya!
539
00:24:09,036 --> 00:24:10,504
Okay.
Bye!
540
00:24:10,504 --> 00:24:13,974
Oh, my God.
That was so stressful.
541
00:24:13,974 --> 00:24:16,076
- Mm.
542
00:24:16,076 --> 00:24:18,145
Ell, is it crazy for me
to take this part?
543
00:24:18,145 --> 00:24:19,980
No.
No, no, no.
544
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,548
I think it's so brave.
545
00:24:21,548 --> 00:24:22,683
It's so badass,
546
00:24:22,683 --> 00:24:24,518
and I'm proud
to call you a friend.
547
00:24:24,518 --> 00:24:25,552
You're so sweet.
548
00:24:25,552 --> 00:24:27,021
You're making me feel
so much better.
549
00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:28,355
Thank you.
- Yeah.
550
00:24:28,355 --> 00:24:30,490
I think it's, like,
weirdly similar
551
00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:32,326
to something I'm going through
right now.
552
00:24:32,326 --> 00:24:34,161
I think in becoming
a Republican,
553
00:24:34,161 --> 00:24:37,364
I'm actually, like,
playing a part.
554
00:24:37,364 --> 00:24:39,834
Just like you with Dory.
I mean, you're playing a part.
555
00:24:39,834 --> 00:24:43,437
Like, we're both playing parts
in this weird way.
556
00:24:43,437 --> 00:24:45,506
- Totally.
- Yeah.
557
00:24:47,274 --> 00:24:49,243
I do think
in your situation...
558
00:24:49,243 --> 00:24:51,912
- Yeah?
- I worry that people
559
00:24:51,912 --> 00:24:54,248
might not know you're acting.
560
00:24:54,248 --> 00:24:55,916
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I think that they might
561
00:24:55,916 --> 00:24:57,117
think you actually believe
562
00:24:57,117 --> 00:24:59,720
the things that you're saying.
563
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,689
Well, I could hurt you back
and tell you that I actually
564
00:25:01,689 --> 00:25:03,423
don't think you should do
the movie, but I won't
565
00:25:03,423 --> 00:25:05,025
because we're in our 30s now
and we're supposed
566
00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:06,694
to give up on helping
each other and actually put up
567
00:25:06,694 --> 00:25:08,495
more walls in the name
of boundaries,
568
00:25:08,495 --> 00:25:10,064
but you didn't do that.
You're supposed to do that.
569
00:25:10,064 --> 00:25:11,699
But you didn't do that.
- Yeah, but, Ell, I just--
570
00:25:11,699 --> 00:25:13,300
I think there's
an acoustic issue
571
00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:14,835
because you're not hearing me.
572
00:25:14,835 --> 00:25:15,970
Okay?
573
00:25:15,970 --> 00:25:17,805
I support you.
574
00:25:17,805 --> 00:25:20,441
You have to support me.
575
00:25:22,509 --> 00:25:23,811
Okay, I'm proud of you?
576
00:25:23,811 --> 00:25:26,180
Oh, my God,
I'm so proud of you too.
577
00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:32,353
He--
578
00:25:41,662 --> 00:25:43,030
Dory!
579
00:25:43,030 --> 00:25:46,400
You ripped your home up?
580
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:51,371
I spent a lot of time
making this for you!
581
00:25:51,371 --> 00:25:54,008
Oh, D--the table!
582
00:25:54,008 --> 00:25:57,244
The couch!
- I'm sorry.
583
00:25:57,244 --> 00:25:59,279
I just--
584
00:25:59,279 --> 00:26:02,449
I just needed to left off
a little steam!
585
00:26:02,449 --> 00:26:04,652
Well, while you were
letting off a little steam,
586
00:26:04,652 --> 00:26:08,555
I was upstairs, slaving away
on some new food for you!
587
00:26:08,555 --> 00:26:10,590
So I hope this slight
change in diet
588
00:26:10,590 --> 00:26:12,126
doesn't upset your system.
589
00:26:12,126 --> 00:26:13,794
Ooh!
590
00:26:13,794 --> 00:26:17,197
You have put me through
the wringer today, little girl.
591
00:26:17,197 --> 00:26:18,265
I'm wiped out.
592
00:26:25,205 --> 00:26:27,441
- Hello.
- Hi.
593
00:26:27,441 --> 00:26:29,409
- Feeling good?
- Mm-hmm.
594
00:26:29,409 --> 00:26:31,111
You've got this.
595
00:26:31,111 --> 00:26:33,714
I know.
596
00:26:37,884 --> 00:26:39,419
Quiet on set.
597
00:26:39,419 --> 00:26:43,390
And three, two...
598
00:26:46,026 --> 00:26:47,627
Good afternoon,
I'm Elliott Goss,
599
00:26:47,627 --> 00:26:49,764
and you're watching
"Red State Blue State."
600
00:26:49,764 --> 00:26:53,000
Now, you may notice
that my gorgeous cohost,
601
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,535
Charlie Reenie,
is not sitting next to me,
602
00:26:55,535 --> 00:26:58,839
and that is because the network
has generously given me
603
00:26:58,839 --> 00:27:02,276
the stage to allow me
to make a statement.
604
00:27:03,477 --> 00:27:06,180
America, I owe you an apology.
605
00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:10,084
Like many citizens today,
I too have been brainwashed
606
00:27:10,084 --> 00:27:13,620
by the liberal media, by
the "arts and leisure elite,"
607
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,490
by socialist universities,
and by the coasts.
608
00:27:16,490 --> 00:27:17,958
I have been living
609
00:27:17,958 --> 00:27:19,459
in a political fantasy,
610
00:27:19,459 --> 00:27:21,328
but no longer.
611
00:27:21,328 --> 00:27:22,897
I am now and forever
612
00:27:22,897 --> 00:27:26,000
a staunchly
conservative Republican.
613
00:27:27,368 --> 00:27:30,370
I believe in traditional
Christian family values,
614
00:27:30,370 --> 00:27:32,606
speaking in English
at all times,
615
00:27:32,606 --> 00:27:34,675
and anaesthetizing
the lower classes
616
00:27:34,675 --> 00:27:37,144
with presidential fantasies
of gold faucets
617
00:27:37,144 --> 00:27:38,545
and beautiful women.
618
00:27:38,545 --> 00:27:41,548
I love my beliefs,
I love my country,
619
00:27:41,548 --> 00:27:44,284
and I love my God.
620
00:27:44,284 --> 00:27:46,453
End of story.
621
00:27:46,453 --> 00:27:49,123
So, please, tune in next time
622
00:27:49,123 --> 00:27:50,524
for "Right is Right,"
623
00:27:50,524 --> 00:27:52,459
a new program
where Charlie Reenie
624
00:27:52,459 --> 00:27:54,862
and yours truly
will agree on matters
625
00:27:54,862 --> 00:27:57,865
pertaining to the "right"
side of history.
626
00:27:57,865 --> 00:27:59,633
Thank you.
627
00:27:59,633 --> 00:28:01,535
And in place of tonight's show,
please enjoy
628
00:28:01,535 --> 00:28:05,139
this black-and-white footage
of World War II airplanes.
629
00:28:05,139 --> 00:28:06,473
And we're out.
630
00:28:08,909 --> 00:28:11,812
So great.
631
00:28:11,812 --> 00:28:13,748
How do you feel?
632
00:28:13,748 --> 00:28:17,117
I feel...
633
00:28:17,117 --> 00:28:18,886
genuinely fine.
634
00:28:21,288 --> 00:28:23,123
Whoo!
635
00:28:23,123 --> 00:28:24,324
Great.
636
00:28:24,324 --> 00:28:26,060
Huh.
637
00:28:26,060 --> 00:28:27,127
Oh, God.
638
00:28:40,274 --> 00:28:41,608
Ah.
639
00:28:41,608 --> 00:28:43,010
Ow.
640
00:28:45,146 --> 00:28:47,882
Ow.
641
00:28:49,950 --> 00:28:52,052
Ah.
642
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,183
♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪
643
00:29:24,584 --> 00:29:27,154
♪ Mm, mm ♪
644
00:29:28,823 --> 00:29:31,158
♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪
645
00:29:33,127 --> 00:29:35,162
♪ Mm, mm ♪
646
00:29:36,964 --> 00:29:41,669
♪ Your boyfriend,
he's no good ♪
647
00:29:41,669 --> 00:29:44,839
♪ In the dark ♪
648
00:29:44,839 --> 00:29:48,943
♪ I've got you in that way ♪
649
00:29:48,943 --> 00:29:51,979
♪ You were making it hard ♪
44951
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