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1
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,005
I don't have time today.
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,225
All I do is mop floors
so I can support these
two bald assholes.
3
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:10,488
Oh, I'm the problem.
4
00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,969
I understand you're
finally considering
adoption for Clyde.
5
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,798
I know several
excellent families
6
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,017
who are actively looking.
7
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,020
Uh-uh.
8
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,500
Well, you know how
I've been trying to
connect with my kids.
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,112
Two of them
haven't called me
in a couple of weeks.
10
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,810
Did you call them back?That's not my place.
11
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,464
It's exactly your place.
12
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,118
I'm supposed to
call them when
they don't call me back?
13
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,510
CLAIRE: Yeah, you are.Yes.
14
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,816
You call and you call
and you call
15
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,252
and you keep calling,
16
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,515
and if they don't call you
back, that's on them.
17
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:47,308
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
18
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:50,485
Does anybody know
any good coffee shops?
19
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,488
Let's see.
Coffee in Seattle.
20
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,142
Nope.
[CHUCKLES]
21
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,621
[MOCKS LAUGHING]
22
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,623
Listen, I know
they're everywhere,
23
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,799
but I'm having coffee
with my daughter Cappy
24
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,497
and I'm looking
for the perfect place.
25
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:03,715
You mean Latte?
26
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,326
Cappy.
27
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,241
Cappy is Latte's
older sister.
28
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,547
Oh, please tell me Cappy
is short for Cappuccino.
29
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,942
Fuck you.
30
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,813
McDonald's
has good coffee.
31
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:17,686
Don't take her to McDonald's.
How about Sounds and Grounds?
32
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,644
No, no, no.
There's too much
music there.
33
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,429
I... I don't need
Jackson Browne
34
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,518
singing about a horse
with no name
35
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:25,346
while I'm trying
to talk to my daughter.
36
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,783
What?
I don't think that was
Jackson Browne.
37
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:29,480
Whatever. I also
don't want people
38
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,527
being loud in the corner
doing their poetry.
39
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:36,052
Oh, how far away
is love's first kiss?
40
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,488
Yeats?
41
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:41,144
Said the large-jugged
cheerleader from Ole Miss.
42
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,841
Not Yeats.MUGSY: Anyway.
43
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,627
[STUTTERS] All I'm saying is
I don't want a coffee place
44
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:48,717
where everybody's
on their cell phones
and their computers
45
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:52,373
sending and receiving
their facsimiles.
46
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:53,635
Uh, facsimiles?
47
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,463
Are you taking
her back in time?
48
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,204
Look, it sounds
like you don't
need a coffee shop.
49
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,901
Maybe you can take her
to a park bench
50
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,207
and bring some coffee
with you.
51
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,556
From McDonald's.
52
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,471
Cloud, what do you have?
Stock in McDonald's?
53
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,473
It's really good coffee.
54
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:08,345
Why don't you just
take her for lunch
at a nice restaurant?
55
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:12,088
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Too much pressure.
56
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,917
Trying to think
about stuff to talk about
for an entire meal
57
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,137
No, coffee shop.
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,790
You have a couple of sips,
59
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,141
and if you're not feeling it,
you cut bait.
60
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,274
She's not a Tinder date.
She's your daughter.
61
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,537
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
62
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:29,497
Really? Sadder than a guy
who walks out on his family
63
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,368
and spends a decade
at the bottom of a bottle
64
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,109
who's now being judged
by a former meth head?
65
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,242
Who doesn't like
McDonald's coffee.
66
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,634
[SCOFFS]
67
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:38,201
Uh, full disclosure,
68
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,899
I do have a little Mickey D's
in my portfolio.
69
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,295
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S
STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]
70
00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,645
♪ ♪
71
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,784
I hate this fucking game.
What am I doing here?
72
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,655
You said you'd play
if I got to
five months sober
73
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,440
twice in the
same year.
74
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,355
Okay, can we just
get it over with?
75
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,575
You know, I never
really understood
the appeal of golf.
76
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,360
Especially without alcohol.
77
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,493
But, uh, today
I... I kind of get it.
78
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,669
Yeah, having some laughs
with friends, right?
79
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,280
Yeah, you're out
amongst nature.
80
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,587
You got exercise,
fresh air.
81
00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,199
All right, skins game.
Buck a hole with carryovers.
82
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,939
All right.No idea what
that means,
83
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:23,333
but a buck a hole,
no one's getting hurt.
I'm in.
84
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,682
Yeah, and if you get
a hole in one,
85
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,118
you've got to give
everyone a blowjob,
86
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,077
and if it's close,
we can give it to you.
87
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,339
Uh-oh.
88
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,601
Wait, wait, wait.
89
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,734
How... How close is,
uh, is close?
90
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,345
Ed, he's joking.
91
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,738
Oh, yeah.
Right, right.
92
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,957
'Cause it would have
to be in the hole, right?
93
00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,876
Ooh.Whoa.
94
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:48,228
Tony, follow that.
95
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,925
You're up, Loudermilk.
96
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,451
[SIGHS]
97
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,675
[FLATULENCE]
98
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,329
Okay, ha-ha-ha-ha.
99
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,635
Very funny.
Obviously I get that back.
100
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,420
That's a mulligan,
I believe it's called.
101
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:09,161
Hey, hey, there's no
mulligans in golf.
102
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:12,208
This is a gentlemen's game.
You play by the rules.
103
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,036
I'm not hip
to all the rules,
104
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,299
but farting during another
player's backswing?
105
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,388
That can't be considered
gentlemanly.
106
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,783
USGA rules on etiquette,
section two,
Behavior on the Course,
107
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,220
clearly states a player
should not disturb another
108
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,570
by talking, moving,
or making unnecessary noise.
109
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,919
Exactly.
I go again.
110
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:29,573
Unnecessary noise.
111
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,358
Unnecessary.
112
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,924
Mugsy, was that
fart necessary?
113
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,318
Absolutely.
114
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,974
Yeah, I had one of those
cauliflower whole roasted
brain things last night,
115
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,715
loaded with garlic.
116
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,891
Plus I'm getting together
with my daughter,
117
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:46,634
and it's making my stomach
feel kind of funky.
118
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,288
So necessary?
119
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,116
A noise deemed necessary.
Thus, ipso facto.
120
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,075
Therefore, and ergo,
the drive stands.
121
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,903
You're hitting three.
Now keep your head down.
122
00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:01,910
[MELLOW MUSIC]
123
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,999
♪ ♪
124
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,305
Whoa!
125
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,613
[YELLS]
126
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,355
What the hell?
You nearly killed us!
127
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,705
Oh, relax, sweetheart.
It barely touched ya.
128
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:17,491
He hit me on the ankle, and
don't you call me sweetheart.
129
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,101
You're unbelievable.
130
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,233
Okay, everybody.
Come on.
131
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,367
Let's... Let's relax.
It's not a big deal.
Let's all calm down.
132
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,109
Ma'am, I'm sorry
that my ball
133
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:30,721
accidentally brushed up
against your foot, okay?
134
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,158
I'm new to the game.
I'm not a great golfer.
135
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,899
You're supposed
to yell "fore."
136
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,162
Even
when it's rolling?
137
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,077
Yes, and you shouldn't be
on the course
138
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,862
if you don't understand
golf etiquette.
139
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,994
You people shouldn't
be trusted with clubs.
140
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,780
Well, I admit, I...
I don't know
the game's vagaries,
141
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,956
but since you do,
maybe you can help me
out with this one...
142
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:51,351
What's the rule on farting
during another player's
backswing?
143
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,569
That's a mulligan,
right?
144
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,702
Necessary fart.
145
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,660
Your ball hit my wife,
146
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,097
and I demand
that you apologize
to her immediately.
147
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,490
Or what,
you're gonna slap me
with a glove
148
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,623
and challenge me
to a duel?
149
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,582
I just said I'm sorry,
that's the pulp of an apology.
150
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,367
But I'll say it again.
I'm sorry.
151
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,412
I'm sorry you took
a vicious dribbler
to the foot,
152
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:12,023
and I hope everything
works out with the fire.
153
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,895
[SCOFFS]What fire?
154
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:16,245
Well, obviously,
your house
was burning down
155
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,725
and you just threw on
anything you could
156
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:20,423
as you ran out
the door, right?
157
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,990
You're an asshole.
158
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,774
Wait, you can't call him
an asshole.
159
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,733
I demandeth
an apology.
160
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,126
[MUGSY CHUCKLES]
161
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,215
I'm not really
Willie Nelson.
162
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,827
[LAUGHTER]
163
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,351
All right, look out.
164
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:40,182
[CHEERS]There you go.
165
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,272
Oh, what is this shit?
166
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:46,536
Oh, dear.
This is not good.
167
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:49,278
That's them, officers.
The ones that assaulted us.
168
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,367
What?
Assaulted you?
169
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:54,892
Yeah, assaulted us.That's ridiculous.
170
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,503
These ladies said you hit
them with a golf ball,
171
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,243
verbally harassed them...Yeah.
172
00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,549
And then made
homophobic comments
173
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,029
about their husbands'
clothing.
174
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,901
I made homophobic...
She's projecting that.
175
00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:07,775
And what... What gay man
would actually wear that?
176
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,342
Hey, you gals
need to relax.Gals?
177
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,432
Don't call us gals,
you sexist jerk.
178
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,172
Uh, okay,
so now gals is sexist?
179
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,565
Do you believe
these broads?
180
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,872
Hey tough guy,
control your wife.
181
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,048
Oh, what the fuck?
Ow.
182
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,224
That's it.
You're all under arrest.
183
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,269
You can't arrest us.
You... You're golf cops.
184
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,621
Actually, this is, uh,
Seattle PD.
185
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,623
Hey, Leanne,
it's been awhile.
186
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,712
Edward,
you know the drill.
187
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,584
You... You really wanna file
the paperwork on this mess?
188
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,586
No.
189
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,762
Too late.
Cuff 'em all.
190
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,242
Let a judge
work it out.
191
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:41,765
Thank God.
192
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,550
Does this mean
we're done golfing?
193
00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,248
♪ Such a foolish
194
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,555
♪ Way to be ♪
195
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,426
[SIGHS]
196
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:52,341
♪ ♪
197
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,910
Hey, I am so sorry
I'm late.
198
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,216
You are not gonna believe
what happened.
199
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,783
Let me guess.
200
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:02,046
You got arrested
for doing something stupid.
201
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,395
♪ ♪
202
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,659
No.
No, it was like...
203
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,617
It's a long story,
don't worry about it.
204
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:11,186
Listen, I am so happy
that you wanted to
get together today.
205
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,362
I've really been looking
forward to this.
206
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:16,017
Yeah. Me too.Yeah.
207
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,368
Yeah.
208
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,327
Um...
209
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,505
So what's new with you?
210
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:30,205
Well, I finally
graduated last month.
211
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,948
I thought you graduated
a few years ago.
212
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:37,386
That was high school.
This is college.
213
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:40,432
You went to college?
Uh, yeah, I remember that.
214
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,739
I mean, everything
is happening so fast,
you know?
215
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,961
So what did you study?IT.
216
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,964
Information technology.
217
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,967
Yes, IT.
218
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,446
Yes.
219
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,057
Just computer stuff, Dad.
220
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,406
Wow.
221
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,103
I am so proud of you.
222
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:02,106
You're working
with computers.
223
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,892
Hey, maybe that Steve Gates
will hire you.
224
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,720
Well, I hope
someone does.
225
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,939
I've gotten by resume out
to a few companies,
226
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,028
and I've got
some interviews lined up.
227
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:14,118
Hey, why don't I buy you
a dress for your interviews?
228
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:17,208
Or a suit.Or a suit.
229
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,167
Yeah, pantsuit.
230
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,910
Nothing says
smart business lady
like a nice pantsuit.
231
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,217
Sure, Dad.
I'd love that.
232
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,395
Hey, I'm going pantsuit
shopping with my daughter.
233
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,919
How about that?
234
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,836
[SOFT MUSIC]
235
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,186
Huh, let me see
if I got this right.
236
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,536
Ladies, you're being
charged with assault,
237
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:43,931
and gentlemen, you're being
cited with disorderly conduct.
238
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:46,368
Your Honor, I'd request
that you consider dropping
239
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,978
the assault charges
against my clients
240
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:50,024
and look at
the real issue here.
241
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:53,897
The fact that these men
were harassing these ladies
on the golf course.
242
00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,596
My clients were just enjoying
an afternoon on the links
243
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,859
when these women,
for no reason,
244
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,425
physically attacked them.
245
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:03,515
They were provoked by the
men's lack of golf decorum
246
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:05,953
which was compounded
by their rude behavior.
247
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,042
Oh, so you're saying that
the appropriate response
248
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,435
to poor golf etiquette
and rude behavior
249
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:13,395
is to go all Mrs. Tiger Woods
with a nine iron
250
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,092
on my client's face?
251
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:16,485
Seven iron.
252
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,966
Don't interrupt me.We're under oath.
253
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,925
Hitting a man
with a golf club is assault!
254
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,014
These women should
be locked up.
255
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:26,843
And for that matter,
so should Mrs. Tiger Woods.
256
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,453
How's she still on the street?
257
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,847
I'll tell you how...
She's hot!
258
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,675
And with all due respect,
Your Honor,
259
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,547
these women register a little
lower on the thermometer.
260
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,897
Are you implying...
261
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,377
Your Honor,
justice is not blind.
262
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:43,686
They're fours at best,
and therefore I contend,
263
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,689
if they're not hot,
in jail they must rot.
264
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,038
Objection.
Irrelevant.
265
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,910
My clients' looks
are not on trial.
266
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:52,739
If we're fours, your clients
are negative fours.
267
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:53,914
Except for one of them.
268
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,612
[MOUTHING WORDS]
269
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,789
Objection sustained,
and don't rhyme in my court!
270
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:02,705
Well, okay, but that's gonna
seriously impact my summation.
271
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,971
Ladies, did you hit one
of these men with a golf club?
272
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:13,237
Yes, I did, Your Honor,
but it was in self-defense.
273
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:16,023
Was he attacking you?Verbally.
274
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:18,242
Well, did anyone
threaten you?
275
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,984
They hit a golf ball at me
and didn't yell "fore."
276
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,594
I consider that a threat.
277
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:25,032
Well, did anybody verbally
threaten to harm you?
278
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:29,253
Not verbally in words.
279
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,647
Well, you can't just swing
a golf club at someone.
280
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,867
That's assault.
281
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,434
Ma'am, I'm thinking it
would be beneficial for you
282
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,132
to take an anger
management class
283
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,222
before stepping back
onto a golf course.
284
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,789
There you go.
Case closed.
285
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,355
No, it isn't.
286
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,140
What about his pain
and suffering?
287
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,359
New Guy, let...
Let's just get
out of here.
288
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,928
I am not going anywhere
until justice is served!
289
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,365
The charges against your
clients will be dropped.
290
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,716
Does that alleviate
their pain and suffering?
291
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,108
Hell no!
292
00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,763
This man has been
emotionally scarred.
293
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,331
His wife offered him
a club sandwich yesterday
294
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,681
and he burst into tears.
295
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:09,163
And this man,
who almost killed his ex-wife
in a drunk driving accident,
296
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,556
may never get
to play the game
of golf again.
297
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,515
I'm fine with that.
298
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:17,345
And these gentlemen,
both raging alcoholics,
299
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,913
can't even order
an Arnold Palmer,
300
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,829
the most popular
nonalcoholic drink.
301
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,005
And all because we ran
into these pushy broads.
302
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:29,705
Um, I'm... I'm sorry.
What did you call them?
303
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,489
Am I still under oath?Yes, you are.
304
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,145
Um, pushy broads?Objection.
305
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,582
Your Honor, I ask that
my client's testimony
306
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,193
be stricken from the record
307
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:40,977
because he was hit in the head
with a seven iron,
308
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,849
and thus is speaking
like an asshole.
309
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,938
Overruled,
and watch your mouth,
Counsel.
310
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,941
[SIGHS]
311
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:51,727
Well, clearly these men
have no respect for women.
312
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,816
So I'm ordering Tony
and his three friends
313
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:56,558
to take a women's sensitivity
counseling seminar.
314
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:59,517
W... Women's
sensitivity?
315
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:02,129
Can't we just
go back to jail?
316
00:13:02,129 --> 00:13:06,176
Be careful what you wish for.
I can be a pushy broad too.
317
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,483
[RAPS GAVEL]
318
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:11,225
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
319
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,922
So how was
your job interview?
320
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,881
Did they like the pantsuit?
321
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:18,362
It went really well, Dad,
and the pantsuit was a hit.
322
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,974
I felt very confident.
323
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,977
So did they offer you
the job?
324
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:26,370
Not yet.
I have a second interview
325
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,981
with the vice president
tomorrow.
326
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,373
No shit?
327
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,680
The vice president
of the whole government?
328
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,290
No, no, no.
Of the company.
329
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,770
The VP of the company.
330
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,424
Oh, okay.
Well, that's good.
331
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,861
And then you'll work your
way up to the other guy.
332
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,255
I just can't imagine
some company not wanting you
333
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,865
to run their it department.
334
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,608
Um, hey,
are you free Saturday?
335
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:49,306
Latte and I, we're gonna go
check out this flea market.
336
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,308
Do you wanna
come with us?
337
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,310
Yeah!
338
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,790
Yes, I...
339
00:13:56,705 --> 00:14:00,317
Oh, ah...
I can't.
340
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,624
I have a class I have
to take this weekend.
341
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,017
A class?
342
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,322
That... That's great.
343
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,889
What kind of class
are you taking?
344
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,935
Math.
345
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,067
M... Math?
346
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,026
Math is in everything.
347
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:17,160
It's in sports scores,
pumping gas, how many gallons.
348
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,814
It's in banking now.
349
00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,860
Math...
It's in everything.
350
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,080
I've got a half-caf
double espresso for Judie!
351
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,213
Half, double.
That's math.
352
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:29,912
And we have to keep up
with the times.
353
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,392
We have to shift
and grow and...
354
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:33,568
Hi, you're late.
355
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,352
Uh, sorry.
356
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,658
I was having problems
with the car
357
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:39,530
when we were driving
over here in my van.
358
00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,097
Don't let it happen again
359
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:43,143
or I add another day
to your session.
360
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:46,146
Way to make a great first
impression, Nurse Ratchet.
361
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,712
Excuse me,
did you just say something?
362
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,366
Yeah, I said we can
probably fix the carburetor
363
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:50,759
with a three-quarter inch
ratchet.
364
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,804
Hmm,
you need a screwdriver,
not a ratchet,
365
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:53,980
to adjust a carburetor.
366
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,373
Uh-oh,
she knows her shit.
367
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,375
As I was saying,
368
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,596
welcome to Gender Sensitivity
Training Class.
369
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:04,816
My name is Ms. Colleen
O'Donnell-DeJesus.
370
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,515
Uh-oh, two names.
That's a giant red flag.
371
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,995
Sorry?
372
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:12,868
Oh, it's just I'm...
I'm a little leery of people
373
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:15,088
with hyphens
in their names.
374
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,785
Anheuser-Busch?
375
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,048
Touche.
376
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,484
Briggs & Stratton.
377
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,486
That's not hyphenated,
and that's not a person.
378
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,967
I think it's
an accounting firm.
379
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,274
No, it's an
internal combustion engine.
380
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:30,407
Now she's just
showing off.
381
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:33,323
What are your concerns about
a person with two last names?
382
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,717
Oh, it just makes me
kind of nervous,
383
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,980
'cause I don't know which one
is your maiden name
384
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,201
and which one is
your husband's name.
385
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,855
I just don't want
to offend anyone.
386
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,901
DeJesus is my family name,
387
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,817
O'Donnell is my partner's
family name.
388
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,210
Partner?
Wait, wait...
389
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,820
LOUDERMILK: Don't.No.
390
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,474
Wait a minute.Mm-mm, don't.
391
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,955
You're saying you live
with a woman and not a man?
392
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,218
Correct.
393
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:01,395
Okay, so and you're going
to counsel us men
on how to live with women.
394
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,440
It seems like you only know
half the story, no?
395
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,921
Yeah, he's right.
What makes you qualified to
teach us men-and-women stuff
396
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,618
if you haven't actually
been in the trenches?
397
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,185
Trenches?
Trust me,
she's been in...
398
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,665
Nuh-uh, look.
399
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:13,581
I... I want to apologize
for these guys, okay?
400
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:15,713
And maybe shed a little light
on their behavior.
401
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,716
Uh, I'm Sam Loudermilk,
also a licensed counselor.
402
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:21,284
Ah, you have a degree
in counseling, Mr. Loudermilk?
403
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,591
I... Uh, it's not
a degree,
404
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,593
but I'm certified
by Sober Friends
405
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,682
to counsel people
with addiction issues.
406
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:30,380
Sober Friends?
Isn't that the AA rip-off?
407
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,165
Yeah.Okay.
408
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,818
So that's not really
applicable here,
409
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,429
but thank you,
Mr. Loudermilk.
410
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:38,519
Well, the thing is, okay,
the four of us,
411
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,478
we're just here because
of a giant misunderstanding.
412
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:44,177
I don't actually have
any issues with women.
413
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:45,961
Me neither.
I love women.
414
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,094
Yeah, me too.
I got an $8,000 one
in my closet.
415
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,010
Uh, he... That's fake.Oh, she doesn't feel fake.
416
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,013
He... Trust me.
It's just better this way.
417
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,711
Are you guys trying
to fail this class?
418
00:16:56,711 --> 00:17:00,280
Wait, are you saying...
We're getting grades?
419
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,847
The point is,
Ms. O'Donnell-DeJesus,
420
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,806
I don't need this class,
421
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:07,591
and these guys,
as you can see,
are way too far gone.
422
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,593
All right, not to mention
they have bigger problems
423
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,899
they should be
working on first.
424
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,509
So counselor to counselor,
425
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,816
if you could just
sign our slips for the court,
426
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,123
we'll be out of your hair.
427
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:21,779
I would think that as
a fellow licensed counselor,
428
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:24,608
Mr. Loudermilk, you would
understand how unprofessional
429
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,959
it would be for me
to sign off on a student
without giving guidance.
430
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,614
Well, I couldn't
agree more.
431
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,226
Except I've also found
that counseling only works
432
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,966
when people really want it.
433
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:38,013
And I have found that
if a judge thinks
you need my class,
434
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,407
then you probably need
my class.
435
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:44,150
Excuse me, could you and I
have a quick, private
student-teacher conference?
436
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,412
Why not?
437
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,852
All right,
let's cut the bull.
438
00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:52,984
How much is it gonna cost
for four Jane Hancocks?
439
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,335
100 each?
Nobody needs to know,
just between us.
440
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,988
You can get something really
nice for the little lady.
441
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,600
That's it!
442
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:05,258
You four fuckbonnets are gonna
spend the entire two days
in my workshop.
443
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,129
Every last second.
444
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,958
You are going
to participate,
learn, grow.
445
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,960
That is the only way
I'm signing those slips.
446
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,788
And even then,
I might not sign them.
447
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,790
Okay, I can do
$200 a guy,
448
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,096
but I'm gonna have to hit
an ATM machine.
449
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,228
Sit your ass down!
450
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:23,319
So we all understand that
it's not necessarily
451
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,539
what you find offensive,
but what they find offensive.
452
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,757
Yes?
453
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,630
Hey, let's be honest.
454
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:32,198
We can't say anything
to women anymore
without offending them.
455
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:33,895
Not true.
456
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,636
No, everything I say to them
seems to piss them off.
457
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,377
Give me an example, Winston.
458
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,683
It's Mugsy.
Mugsy.
459
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,555
Give me an example, Mugsy.
460
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:42,947
Okay.
461
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:45,385
Couple of weeks ago,
I'm in the mall
462
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,517
and I see the Channel Five
weather lady.
463
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,040
Weather person.Oh, okay.
464
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,520
See, here we go.
Here we go.
465
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,131
The redhead?Uh-huh.
466
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,438
Yeah,
she always gives me
a warm front.
467
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,919
Sorry, I... I'm still
getting my sea legs here.
468
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,355
So she's standing there.
469
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,227
She's having, like,
a pretzel dog or something.
470
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,968
So I walk up to her
471
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,667
and I... I say,
"Hey, I'm a fan."
472
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,278
And I tell her that she's
the most beautiful
473
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:13,413
of all
the weather-people-persons...
474
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,458
And she shoots daggers at me.
475
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:19,854
But you do understand how
that's objectifying her, yes?
476
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,683
Making her feel like an object
rather than a person?
477
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,686
By telling her
she's beautiful?
478
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,688
No, I...
I don't understand that.
479
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,951
I-if some woman came up
to me and told me
that I was handsome
480
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,518
and that I had
a nice package,
481
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,172
I'd be like,
"Hey, aren't you sweet?"
482
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,521
Well, that would be
wrong too.
483
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:35,957
On many levels.
484
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:38,438
I'm saying,
that's how she got the job.
485
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,875
That's why she's on TV...
Because she's beautiful.
486
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,225
You... You ever see
an ugly weather lady?
487
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,009
No. No,
they're all gorgeous.
488
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:47,011
They all have, like,
hot, tight dresses.
489
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:50,406
They're pointing around
talking about
bariatric pressure
490
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,800
and 40% chance of rain and...
491
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,238
But... But if I mention
that she's beautiful,
I'm the pig.
492
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,935
This.
493
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,590
This is why
you guys are here.
494
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:01,939
Toxic masculinity.
495
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,420
Who...
496
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,205
You're here
for a reason too, pal.
497
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,989
That's true.
498
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,687
My fiancee, Hannah,
asked me to take
this seminar
499
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:14,169
before we get married
because she was concerned
500
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,389
that I may not be
as sensitive
501
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,434
to her feelings
as I should be.
502
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,001
MUGSY: Oh, fuck you.
503
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,872
You don't need
to be here?
504
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,048
I want to be here.
505
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:26,486
Jesus, you got any room
in those skinny jeans
for a set of balls?
506
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,052
Anthony, please.
507
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,968
All due respect,
Ms. O'Donnell De La Hoya,
508
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,927
this kid's gonna get creamed
once he gets married.
509
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,016
You can't just bend over
like that from the get-go.
510
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,539
It's called "pegging,"
511
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,324
and it's an exercise
in female empowerment.
512
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,847
So you're saying...No, no, no, no, no.
513
00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,936
Let the boy finish.
514
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:45,809
I just mean
you gotta open
yourself up.
515
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:47,898
Give and take a little.
516
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:51,119
True masculinity
is not defined by
who's being penetrated.
517
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:55,776
Oh, Lord,
why dost thou test me?
518
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:58,779
[MELLOW MUSIC]
519
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:01,869
♪ ♪
520
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:04,611
So, how's the
class going, Dad?
521
00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,308
Are you learning
a lot about math?
522
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,006
Oh, uh, yeah, a ton.
523
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,834
Like a thousand pounds' worth.[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
524
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,360
But, hey, more importantly...
525
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,796
Did they offer you the job?
526
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:17,928
They did.
527
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,800
That's fantastic, honey.
528
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,497
So, when do you start?
529
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:23,282
Actually,
I'm not gonna take it.
530
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:24,892
W-why?
531
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:26,372
Did he hit on you?
532
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,156
Tell me he did not hit on you.He didn't hit on me.
533
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:29,766
No, you be honest with me,
534
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,464
because I'll go down there
and I'll straighten it out.
535
00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,857
He didn't hit on me, Dad.
He was very professional.
536
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,252
Then wh-why aren't you
taking the job?
537
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:41,387
It's the offer.
It was too low.
538
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:43,084
Oh, sweetheart.
539
00:21:43,084 --> 00:21:44,825
That's the way it works.
540
00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,217
You gotta pay your dues.
541
00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:48,045
You show them
how great you are
542
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:51,048
and then later on,
they throw you a ton of money.
543
00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:53,616
Well, they offered
my friend Miles a job too,
544
00:21:53,616 --> 00:21:56,315
but his pay
was 20% more than mine.
545
00:21:57,751 --> 00:21:59,709
Maybe they gave him
a different job,
546
00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:02,669
or maybe he's
a bit more qualified.
547
00:22:02,669 --> 00:22:04,888
Nope.Different school?
548
00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:07,891
Classmates, and my grades
were better than his.
549
00:22:07,891 --> 00:22:09,937
Okay, well,
there had to be a reason.
550
00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:12,374
There was: he's a man.
551
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:15,986
He got offered 20% more
than me because he's a man.
552
00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:18,598
Okay, just look at it
this way:
553
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:20,121
the boss didn't hit on you,
554
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:22,123
so that's probably worth
20% right there
555
00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:24,343
for you not to have
to deal with that.
556
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,996
Are you hearing yourself
right now?
557
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,607
What?
558
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,913
You're saying I should pay
to not get harassed?
559
00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:31,741
I'm trying
to be supportive here.
560
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:34,527
Listen, I know it's not right,
but that's the real world.
561
00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:35,876
It's not the real world.
562
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:37,617
It's a fake world
that men created
563
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,358
to keep
the glass ceiling intact.
564
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,012
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I'm hearing this from you.
565
00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:44,493
I'm sorry, I...
I thought you wanted this job.
566
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:46,800
I did.Well, then don't give up.
567
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,455
Don't lecture me
about giving up.
568
00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:52,283
You weren't around when
Mom was juggling three jobs,
569
00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:54,460
raising your kids,
and making three-quarters
570
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,158
of what the men
who had the exact
same job were making.
571
00:22:57,158 --> 00:23:00,204
You don't get it
'cause you've never had
to tolerate harassment
572
00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:02,250
in fear of losing a job
that you needed,
573
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:05,253
and now you're
clueless enough to tell me
to just take the job
574
00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:07,603
and pay the difference
by not being harassed.
575
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,388
You know what,
you're no better
576
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,954
than the guy
who made me the offer.
577
00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:20,573
Okay, we are going to
discuss gender bias
578
00:23:20,573 --> 00:23:22,879
and avoiding
gender stereotypes
579
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,795
in an effort to become
more gender-blind
in our daily lives.
580
00:23:26,883 --> 00:23:28,450
The hell is she saying?
581
00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:31,322
Can someone explain to Tony
what gender blindness is?
582
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:33,542
Uh, may I?Please go ahead, Ed.
583
00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,588
Uh, well, Tony,
584
00:23:35,588 --> 00:23:38,547
uh, gender blindness
would be like if you...
585
00:23:38,547 --> 00:23:41,594
You go to get a massage
and you want a happy ending,
586
00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:44,640
and they give you
a guy massager
587
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,642
but you don't
say anything.
588
00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:49,123
Okay.
589
00:23:49,123 --> 00:23:51,560
Can someone give us
a legal example?
590
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,083
Uh, gender blindness
591
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:55,869
is when you don't identify
people by gender.
592
00:23:55,869 --> 00:23:57,827
They're not "man"
or they're not "woman."
593
00:23:57,827 --> 00:23:58,959
They're just people.
594
00:23:58,959 --> 00:24:00,613
Very good, Sam.
595
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:03,659
Did you know that women
make less money than men?
596
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:06,662
So? We have more expenses.
And we pay for the dates.
597
00:24:06,662 --> 00:24:08,055
And the rubbers.
598
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:10,231
All right, you guys
just don't fucking get it.
599
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:14,191
Please... Continue, Mugsy.
600
00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:18,631
I have a daughter,
601
00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:19,980
and she's smart.
602
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,460
She's smarter
than most men.
603
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,157
She's smarter than everybody
here, that's for sure.
604
00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:24,463
It's not a high bar.
605
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,336
And she just
got offered a job,
606
00:24:28,336 --> 00:24:31,382
and they want to pay her
$15,000 less
607
00:24:31,382 --> 00:24:33,646
than her classmate, a man,
608
00:24:33,646 --> 00:24:35,386
for the same exact position.
609
00:24:35,386 --> 00:24:36,823
[CHUCKLES]
"Position."
610
00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:39,434
Ah, come on.
Grow the fuck up, Ed.What?
611
00:24:39,434 --> 00:24:41,697
This is serious shit.
612
00:24:41,697 --> 00:24:44,308
Did you know
that women make 70%
613
00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:47,703
of what most men make
for the same job?
614
00:24:47,703 --> 00:24:49,836
And I know that's true
'cause I did a Google on it.
615
00:24:49,836 --> 00:24:51,054
Yep.
616
00:24:51,054 --> 00:24:53,361
Well, it's not right,
617
00:24:53,361 --> 00:24:55,711
and we should be ashamed.
618
00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:58,497
There should be a law!I think there is a law.
619
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,150
Well, then, how come
they don't enforce it?
620
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,369
That's a very good question.
621
00:25:01,369 --> 00:25:02,892
No offense,
but I got enough problems
622
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:04,720
without worrying about
everybody else's paycheck.
623
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,157
That's because you only care
about yourself, Tony, okay?
624
00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:08,898
You don't respect women.Oh, yeah?
625
00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:10,378
Why don't you
stick around one
for a few years
626
00:25:10,378 --> 00:25:11,597
and then get back to me
about respect?
627
00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:13,207
Hey, hey, fuck you.Fuck you.
628
00:25:13,207 --> 00:25:16,166
Okay, guys, cool it.
Remember why we're here.
629
00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:18,168
We're here because Tony
can't go through ten minutes
630
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:20,431
of a court case
without insulting a woman.
631
00:25:20,431 --> 00:25:22,259
She hit me in the head
with a fucking golf club.
632
00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:23,783
I don't blame her.
633
00:25:23,783 --> 00:25:25,567
You know, his daughter
gets one bad job offer
634
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,047
and he goes all
"MeToo" on us.
635
00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:28,352
Hey, fuck you.Fuck you.
636
00:25:28,352 --> 00:25:30,093
I'm gonna do my own
"MeToo" thing.
637
00:25:30,093 --> 00:25:32,618
Why should it
just be about women?It's not just for women.
638
00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:34,271
It's not for women at all.
639
00:25:37,361 --> 00:25:40,103
It's for us.
It's to change us.
640
00:25:42,279 --> 00:25:45,282
You know, all these movements,
all this "new world" stuff...
641
00:25:46,893 --> 00:25:49,591
Maybe it'll help us
be better fathers
642
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,551
and husbands
and brothers and...
643
00:25:55,162 --> 00:25:56,380
People.
644
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:04,911
And that, my friends,
645
00:26:04,911 --> 00:26:07,000
is what gender blindness
is all about.
646
00:26:11,918 --> 00:26:13,920
♪ ♪
647
00:26:16,923 --> 00:26:18,707
[LATCH CLICKS]
648
00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:20,274
Hey, Deb.
649
00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:22,363
Is, uh, Cappy home?
650
00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:24,670
What are you doing here?
651
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:26,410
I'm here
to talk to my daughter.
652
00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:28,412
Haven't you said
enough already?
653
00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:29,849
Really?
654
00:26:29,849 --> 00:26:32,112
Take a lower salary
to not get hit on?
655
00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,028
Are you a complete idiot?
656
00:26:35,028 --> 00:26:36,377
Don't answer that.
657
00:26:36,377 --> 00:26:38,161
That's a rhetorical question.
658
00:26:38,161 --> 00:26:39,380
"Rhetorical."
659
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:41,600
It means, "don't answer that."
660
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,862
Hey, hey, hey.
661
00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:45,516
What's this?
662
00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:49,520
A women's sensitivity class.
663
00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:54,090
You took
a women's sensitivity class?
664
00:26:54,090 --> 00:26:56,005
Yeah, took and completed.
665
00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:57,920
Why does it say
"court ordered"?
666
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,792
No, that's only if
there's a check next to it,
667
00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,663
and as you can see,
there's not.
668
00:27:03,404 --> 00:27:04,927
Hey...
669
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:06,799
[SIGHS]
670
00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:09,758
I've been thinking
about what I told Cappy,
671
00:27:09,758 --> 00:27:12,631
and I was wrong,
and I want to talk to her.
672
00:27:15,329 --> 00:27:16,896
I wanna talk to my daughter.
673
00:27:19,246 --> 00:27:20,290
Hey, honey.
674
00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:21,640
Hey, Dad.
675
00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:24,991
So it wasn't a math class.
676
00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:28,647
I'm sorry, Capp.
677
00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:32,476
[SIGHS]
678
00:27:32,476 --> 00:27:33,956
I'm a giant fuck-up.
679
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:38,221
[SNIFFLES]
I fucked up my marriage...
680
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,007
I fucked up
my family...
681
00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:44,053
And I fucked up
your childhood.
682
00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:47,796
No, you didn't, Dad.
683
00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:50,146
Yes, I did.
[SNIFFLES]
684
00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:52,322
It was the booze...
685
00:27:52,322 --> 00:27:53,846
[SIGHS]
686
00:27:53,846 --> 00:27:56,283
It hurt me,
and it hurt me bad.
687
00:27:57,501 --> 00:27:59,025
But it hurt you more.
688
00:27:59,025 --> 00:28:01,984
It hurt all of us.
[SNIFFLES]
689
00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:05,466
But it didn't kill me,
and that is a blessing
690
00:28:05,466 --> 00:28:08,861
because that means
I still have a chance to grow.
691
00:28:10,514 --> 00:28:12,168
For as long as I live,
692
00:28:12,168 --> 00:28:14,867
I... I swear to God,
I'm gonna keep growing.
693
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,001
I promise you...
I promise all of you...
694
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:21,656
[SNIFFLES]
I'm gonna keep growing.
695
00:28:24,485 --> 00:28:26,443
[SNIFFLES]
696
00:28:28,445 --> 00:28:30,578
[MELANCHOLY ROCK MUSIC]
697
00:28:30,578 --> 00:28:32,972
♪ ♪
698
00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:45,767
♪ For once
699
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:49,858
♪ I didn't go home
after shift
700
00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:53,122
♪ Called my wife and said
701
00:28:53,122 --> 00:28:55,081
♪ I'd be late
702
00:28:55,081 --> 00:28:57,953
♪ ♪
703
00:28:57,953 --> 00:29:01,217
♪ And every day
704
00:29:01,217 --> 00:29:04,307
♪ It gets harder
705
00:29:04,307 --> 00:29:06,570
♪ To go home
706
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:10,270
♪ I rode with a guy from work
named Ronnie
707
00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:13,316
♪ ♪
708
00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:17,059
♪ Never been
to his house before ♪
52393
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