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1
00:00:03,348 --> 00:00:04,487
You're a virgin.
2
00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:07,317
I'm just a...lip virgin.
3
00:00:07,352 --> 00:00:09,906
You set me up?She's a great woman.
4
00:00:11,873 --> 00:00:12,943
Hi.
5
00:00:12,978 --> 00:00:15,049
Dad?
What are you doing here?
6
00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:17,293
Let's go get some grub.
I'm buying.
7
00:00:17,327 --> 00:00:19,571
If you can't have one glass
of wine with your old man,
8
00:00:19,605 --> 00:00:21,366
then you've got
bigger problems
than you know, buddy boy.
9
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,023
Yeah, okay.
Now you're starting to get it.
10
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,403
He's a good kid.
11
00:00:24,438 --> 00:00:26,060
He's just going through
some heavy stuff.
12
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,544
Oh.
13
00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:30,168
That's why I came back here...
To do what dads do.
14
00:00:30,202 --> 00:00:32,998
There, there.
Let it all out.
15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,689
Daddy's here.[SOBBING]
16
00:00:34,724 --> 00:00:36,036
Mm-hmm.
17
00:00:42,939 --> 00:00:44,872
[HORN HONKS]
18
00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:46,149
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
19
00:00:46,184 --> 00:00:49,187
Hey!
Thomas the Tank Engine,
20
00:00:49,221 --> 00:00:52,224
you want to keep that cloud
of poison to yourself?
21
00:00:52,259 --> 00:00:54,537
Uh, no worries, man.
It's just water.
22
00:00:54,571 --> 00:00:57,781
Oh, just water?
That's toxins, okay?
23
00:00:57,816 --> 00:01:00,750
That's propylene
and arsenic and lead.
24
00:01:00,784 --> 00:01:03,028
Saddam Hussein had fewer
chemicals than that,
25
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,548
and we bombed
his whole country and
strung him up like a pinata.
26
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,067
What do you care?
27
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,793
I care because
you're blowing it all over me!
28
00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:11,209
And this shit
affects all of us.
29
00:01:11,243 --> 00:01:12,589
Look at this poor
son of a bitch.
30
00:01:12,624 --> 00:01:14,281
He probably looked
like George Clooney
31
00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,248
before you crop-dusted him.
32
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:18,595
Hey.
Leave me out of this.
33
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,528
Buddy, I'm trying
to help you out.
34
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:23,186
How? By pointing out
I look like shit?
35
00:01:23,221 --> 00:01:26,879
You think I don't know that?
I own a fucking mirror, pal.
36
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,191
Yeah, all right.
37
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:30,814
Y-You look pretty good
for your age, actually.
38
00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:33,231
But this guy's
in real trouble, okay?
39
00:01:33,265 --> 00:01:34,991
That nicotine there...
That... That...
40
00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:36,303
That's more addictive
than heroin.
41
00:01:36,337 --> 00:01:37,856
Do you know that?
42
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:38,926
And do you want to
talk about vaping?
43
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,721
You ever heard of
"popcorn lung"?
44
00:01:40,755 --> 00:01:43,241
No. It comes in
popcorn flavor, though.
45
00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:46,416
You're killing yourself,
and you look
pretty stupid doing it.
46
00:01:46,451 --> 00:01:48,625
You look like the... the
"Quittin' Time" whistle
47
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,007
at the dipshit factory, huh?
48
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,181
You look like Kurt Cobain
49
00:01:52,215 --> 00:01:54,493
if he lived in a lamp
and worked for Aladdin.
50
00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,737
Is that... That the look
you're going for?
51
00:01:56,771 --> 00:01:59,119
Aladdin's Genie?
52
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,224
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
53
00:02:01,259 --> 00:02:02,915
[COUGHING]
54
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,779
[BUS DOORS OPEN]
55
00:02:04,814 --> 00:02:05,815
[BRAKES HISS]
56
00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:09,336
[COUGHS]
57
00:02:11,855 --> 00:02:13,133
Huh.
58
00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:17,240
I guess I should have asked
for three wishes.
59
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:20,830
I did.
But the wrong guy disappeared.
60
00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:23,177
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
61
00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:33,843
Lately, I've been
feeling angry.
62
00:02:33,877 --> 00:02:37,018
Men don't listen to me.
It's crazy.
63
00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:41,368
But as a woman, I am
labeled as "weak,"
"emotional," or "needy,"
64
00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:44,198
and yet in every relationship
I've ever had,
65
00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:46,476
I am the strong one.
66
00:02:46,511 --> 00:02:47,891
I'll never understand that.
67
00:02:48,409 --> 00:02:49,928
Y-You know what?
68
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,205
You know what
I don't understand?
69
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,346
How come every time
I'm at a urinal...
70
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:56,210
Every time...
The guy next to me
71
00:02:56,245 --> 00:03:00,283
just rips out this huge,
loud fart while he's pissing?
72
00:03:00,318 --> 00:03:03,700
Really? I'm over here
opening up
about being a woman...
73
00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:06,013
I mean, really sharing
with you guys...
74
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:08,395
And you segue it into a story
about farts?
75
00:03:08,429 --> 00:03:12,433
Ooh! Ooh! Miss Big Words.
"Segue into farts."
76
00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:15,264
Hold on a second, Mugsy.
I think what Claire's
trying to say here
77
00:03:15,298 --> 00:03:18,025
is that women can fart, too,
and pretend
that nothing happened.
78
00:03:18,059 --> 00:03:19,129
I mean, hmm?
MUGSY: Okay.
79
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:20,200
Whatever.
80
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,891
As scintillating
as this conversation is,
81
00:03:21,925 --> 00:03:23,513
does anybody have something
on their mind
82
00:03:23,548 --> 00:03:25,688
that's a little relevant?
83
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:27,034
I got something.
84
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:28,311
Go ahead, Cisco.
85
00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,349
Have you ever
believed something,
86
00:03:31,383 --> 00:03:33,282
like, your whole life
87
00:03:33,316 --> 00:03:36,077
and then find out
it's not true,
like, family kind of stuff?
88
00:03:36,112 --> 00:03:37,803
You mean, like, when you
tell your little brother
89
00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:41,048
that he's been
adopted his whole
life but he really isn't?
90
00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:43,982
Don't even...
Just go ahead.
91
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,433
I've always thought
I was Latino,
92
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:48,400
you know, really saw that
as my identity.
93
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:54,234
But now my grandmother
tells me that we're
part Native American.
94
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,788
I don't know, man.
Grandmas say
shit like that all the time.
95
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:58,445
My grandma told me
I was part Chinese.
96
00:03:58,479 --> 00:03:59,963
But what if this is true?
97
00:03:59,998 --> 00:04:02,621
Like, that could really change
things for me, right, Cloud?
98
00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:05,452
Like, do I have to start going
to rain dances and stuff?
99
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:09,318
Oh, sun dances and powwows
are more common. Just saying.
100
00:04:09,352 --> 00:04:12,148
Do you know that Indian chick
on the Land O' Lakes butter?
101
00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:15,358
If you fold her knees up
just right on the box...
[GIGGLES]
102
00:04:15,393 --> 00:04:17,257
It looks like she's
showing her titties.
103
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,707
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
104
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,399
Okay.
105
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,953
Well, I think
that's cool, Cisco.
106
00:04:23,987 --> 00:04:26,231
So, what tribe are you?I have no idea.
107
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,233
Well, you should find out.
If you're Tilulu,
108
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,752
you could own part
of the casino.
109
00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:30,994
Really?
Is that true?
110
00:04:31,029 --> 00:04:32,755
Slow down there,
young blood.
111
00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:34,550
There are many tribes
in this region.
112
00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:37,069
Do you have any documentation
of your lineage
113
00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:39,071
or tribal contacts, maybe?
114
00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:41,142
No.
Just what my grandma said.
115
00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:44,180
Oh, probably won't fly
down at the casino.
116
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:47,010
Well, they... They might be
willing to comp him breakfast.
117
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:49,634
You could do a DNA test.
That would tell you for sure.
118
00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:51,601
No, no, no, no.
I ain't doing that.
119
00:04:51,636 --> 00:04:52,775
What are you scared of?
120
00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:54,742
Uh, needles, dude.
121
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:56,330
[SCOFFS]
You don't have to give blood.
122
00:04:56,365 --> 00:04:57,607
You just spit in a thing
and mail it.
123
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,472
I spit into stuff
all the time.
124
00:05:00,507 --> 00:05:03,164
See?
And you were scared.
125
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:05,926
Have you ever
taken a DNA test?No.
126
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,343
What are you scared of?
I'm not scared.
I just never took one.
127
00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:11,587
Well, maybe it's time for you
to face some truth, too.
128
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,692
You know, walk the talk
and all that.
129
00:05:14,624 --> 00:05:15,936
Okay, how about this...
130
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,318
How about
if you take the test,
I'll take the test?
131
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:21,528
Deal.
Okay.
132
00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:23,357
Anybody else have
something to share?
133
00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:26,015
♪♪
134
00:05:26,981 --> 00:05:28,189
What are you doing?
135
00:05:28,224 --> 00:05:30,295
For you,
a good answer would be
"applying for a job."
136
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,470
Ha-ha! You're a delight!
137
00:05:32,504 --> 00:05:35,127
No, we're helping Cisco
with his DNA test.
138
00:05:35,162 --> 00:05:36,957
Yours is all filled out
and ready to go.
139
00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:39,131
Yeah, we just need you
to spit in this tube,
140
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,201
and then we can
mail it off.
141
00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:42,687
Yeah, I'm not
taking a DNA test.
142
00:05:42,721 --> 00:05:45,379
What? You told Cisco
you were gonna do it.
143
00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:46,794
I was just trying
to get the kid
144
00:05:46,829 --> 00:05:48,727
to do what he
wanted to do anyway.
145
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:50,350
You're a dick.
146
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,282
No, no, no, no.
I'm not a dick.
147
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:53,870
I'm a friend.
148
00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:55,665
You know,
sometimes as a friend,
149
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,910
the most ethical thing to do
is to lie through your teeth
150
00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:00,152
and get him to do
what's best for him.
151
00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,465
Blah, blah, blah,
spit in the thing!
152
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,812
No.
Not a chance!
153
00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:07,574
Look, I... I toured
with bands, okay?
154
00:06:07,608 --> 00:06:09,714
Rock bands with groupies.
155
00:06:09,748 --> 00:06:11,992
And booze and drugs
and groupies.
156
00:06:12,026 --> 00:06:13,752
And I wasn't always
so careful.
157
00:06:13,787 --> 00:06:16,721
So why do I want to
retrace my steps now?
158
00:06:16,755 --> 00:06:19,551
Christ, I could
have a grown-ass kid
out there somewhere.
159
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:21,657
Holy shit, man!
160
00:06:21,691 --> 00:06:24,004
You keep telling others
not to avoid their own truths,
161
00:06:24,038 --> 00:06:26,731
and then you turn around
and avoid yours.
162
00:06:26,765 --> 00:06:29,768
Yeah. You're right.
That is what I'm doing.
163
00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:32,875
I got to work on that.
I got to work on facing
the truths in my own life.
164
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,877
But not today.
165
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,120
♪♪
166
00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:38,881
It really doesn't
matter to me.
167
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,503
I mean, you guys know
168
00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:42,954
I could give two shits
about stuff like this,
169
00:06:42,988 --> 00:06:45,059
but I've noticed recently
that a lot of us
170
00:06:45,094 --> 00:06:47,096
have been using
pejorative words
171
00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:49,098
when describing people
different than us,
172
00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:51,721
and I just think maybe we
should keep an eye on that
173
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:53,205
so no one gets offended.
174
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,380
Personally,
I don't give a shit.
175
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,727
What the hell
is he even saying?
176
00:06:57,762 --> 00:07:00,143
He doesn't want us to call his
new girlfriend the "M" word.
177
00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:02,870
The "M"... You're the one
who used the "M" word.
178
00:07:02,905 --> 00:07:04,527
Oh, that's before
I got woke.
179
00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:06,115
Well, how is that on us?
180
00:07:06,149 --> 00:07:08,462
Well, I'm just trying
to be safe, okay?
181
00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,291
Louise is coming
to pick me up later.
182
00:07:10,326 --> 00:07:12,397
I don't want her
to ever hear that word.
183
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,090
Wow! New guy has feelings
for someone.
184
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,127
[ALL CHUCKLING]
Ooh!
185
00:07:18,161 --> 00:07:21,095
Hey, I-I'm not
interrupting, am I?Yes, you are.
186
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,650
Okay, good,
'cause I'm a little excited.
187
00:07:23,684 --> 00:07:25,583
Cisco's DNA results
just came in.
188
00:07:25,617 --> 00:07:27,999
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
Okay, I'll give it to you.
189
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:30,311
Just wait a second. Hold on.Guys, guys, guys!
190
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,728
This is not "The Maury Povich
Show," okay?
191
00:07:32,762 --> 00:07:34,937
Cisco's gonna want to
look at that in private.CISCO: Yeah.
192
00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:37,249
Oh, I believe he is gonna want
to look at this in private.
193
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:38,975
Wait a second.
Did you open his mail?
194
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:41,012
'Cause that's illegal!
No, no, no, no.
195
00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:43,290
I-I sent in his spit,
and I thought I would be able
196
00:07:43,324 --> 00:07:45,119
to better support him
if it was bad news.
197
00:07:45,154 --> 00:07:46,189
So I opened it...
Bad news?
198
00:07:46,224 --> 00:07:47,432
So I just had a little...
What do you mean, dude?
199
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,469
Come on, man.
Shoot me straight.
Am I native American?
200
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,436
Yeah, I...
Dude, just give him
the fucking papers!
201
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,506
Okay, that's...
Holy shit!
202
00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:54,750
Okay, yes.
31% Native American.
203
00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:56,303
[ALL CHEER]
204
00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:57,753
Holy shit!
Thank you.
205
00:07:57,787 --> 00:07:59,444
Frame it!
Wow!
Shit!
206
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,653
That's...
207
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:02,792
Wow.
208
00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,346
Welcome to the club,
brother!
209
00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:07,107
Okay, Ben,
that's enough.
210
00:08:07,141 --> 00:08:08,315
Let's get back
to the meeting, please.
211
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:09,972
Actually, uh,
before we get started,
212
00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:12,043
would you mind if we had
a little word in private?
213
00:08:12,077 --> 00:08:15,322
And, uh, young lady, I think
you might want to join us.
214
00:08:15,909 --> 00:08:18,774
[SIGHS] All right.
215
00:08:18,808 --> 00:08:21,431
Um, Ed, I don't know what
the exact protocol is
216
00:08:21,466 --> 00:08:23,364
or what channels
I have to go through,
217
00:08:23,399 --> 00:08:25,056
but I was wondering how
I would get a...
218
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,058
One of those
blue penis pills.Oh.
219
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,784
You know, 'cause I don't know
if I have to go to a doctor
220
00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:30,993
or if there's a waiting...
Here you go.
221
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:33,616
Take it a half-hour
before you need it.
222
00:08:33,651 --> 00:08:36,412
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
223
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,173
So, what's
so fucking important
224
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:40,381
that you had to interrupt
the meeting?
225
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,798
Uh, Claire has something
to tell you.
226
00:08:44,351 --> 00:08:46,008
Yes.
227
00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:48,838
Loudermilk, uh,
you were right
228
00:08:48,873 --> 00:08:51,496
about tricking Cisco
into doing his DNA test.
229
00:08:52,014 --> 00:08:53,291
Okay.
230
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,638
And we hope
you feel the same
231
00:08:55,673 --> 00:08:58,089
about us tricking you
into doing yours.
232
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,540
What are you
talking about?
233
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,405
Your results, sir.
234
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,754
Very funny. I didn't give you
any spit, remember?
235
00:09:07,788 --> 00:09:12,241
True dat, but, uh, Ben got one
of your hairs from the shower,
236
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:14,933
and we mailed it in.
237
00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:17,073
Huh?
BEN: Yeah, yeah,
you can do that.
238
00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,350
It actually costs
a little more to do hair,
239
00:09:18,385 --> 00:09:20,042
as opposed to spit,
but don't worry.
240
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,422
It's our treat.Mine, but...
241
00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:22,769
It's her treat.
Bullshit.
242
00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:24,771
How do you
even know it's mine?
It could be anybody's.
243
00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:27,014
Well, you're the only one
with short, black, curly hair.
244
00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:29,396
I don't have short,
black, curly hair.
245
00:09:30,535 --> 00:09:32,606
Motherfucker!
246
00:09:32,641 --> 00:09:34,781
Jesus Christ.
247
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:37,404
What's it say in here?
Do I have a kid or not?
248
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,684
Sam Loudermilk,
you are not a father!
249
00:09:41,719 --> 00:09:43,893
[CHUCKLES] 'Cause you...
You said Maury Povich
in there.
250
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:45,170
Never mind.So I don't have a kid.
251
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:46,275
No.
You're sure?
252
00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:48,104
Yes.
Okay.
253
00:09:48,139 --> 00:09:50,590
Okay, well, I guess
that's a...
254
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,281
That's a...
That's a good thing to know.
255
00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:55,318
It's a... That's an egregious
invasion of privacy,
256
00:09:55,353 --> 00:09:57,562
but I guess I'm...
I'm glad you did it.
257
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,254
Okay, cool. That's great.
We're happy you feel that way.
258
00:10:00,289 --> 00:10:01,290
You have a brother.
259
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,707
What?
260
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,296
Are we even sure
this is correct?
261
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:09,436
Well, it was your hair,
and we...
262
00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:12,301
We checked all the boxes
regarding relatives, so...
263
00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:16,305
You and your brother
Clyde must think alike
because so did he.
264
00:10:16,339 --> 00:10:18,514
Uh, it's kind of magical,
if you think about it.
265
00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:20,758
Like, you were both
looking for each other.
266
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:23,312
Except I wasn't
looking for him,
remember?
267
00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:26,280
Okay, you know what?
What's done is done.
268
00:10:26,315 --> 00:10:28,731
It doesn't change the fact
that you do have a brother,
269
00:10:28,766 --> 00:10:31,803
and he's right here
in Seattle.
270
00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:34,668
I just can't believe
this shit that I
actually have a brother.
271
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:37,188
What are you talking about?
Your dad was up and down
the Western Seaboard
272
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:39,121
for the past 50 years
banging anything that moves.
273
00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:40,467
What's so hard
to fucking believe?
274
00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:42,642
How is this guy in Seattle
the whole time
275
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,160
and neither of us knew?
276
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:46,922
I mean, I might have
walked by him 20 times.
277
00:10:46,956 --> 00:10:49,441
I bet you did.
You should compare notes.
278
00:10:49,476 --> 00:10:51,340
What do you mean,
"Compare notes"?
279
00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:53,445
I'm not gonna meet him.Are you serious?
280
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,862
Fuck, no!
If I had a brother
here in town,
281
00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:57,380
I know
I'd want to meet him.
282
00:10:57,415 --> 00:10:58,934
What if he's, like,
an open-carry nut
283
00:10:58,968 --> 00:11:01,315
or one of those douchebags
who thinks wearing a sombrero
284
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,214
to a tequila party
is a federal offense?
285
00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,767
That should be
a federal offense.
286
00:11:04,802 --> 00:11:06,631
That's cultural appropriation.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
287
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,944
Would you wake up, Claire!
It's not a religious symbol.
288
00:11:08,978 --> 00:11:10,359
It's a goddamn sun hat!
289
00:11:10,393 --> 00:11:12,326
Okay, you know what?
Tell you what.
290
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:14,432
How about this?
I'll come with you.
291
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,642
Why are you always try...
No, I don't want you
to come with me!
292
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,989
I want you to stay
out of my business
293
00:11:20,024 --> 00:11:22,405
and stop collecting
my fucking pubic hair!
294
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,166
Okay, fine!
295
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,168
You know what?
I'm gonna throw the rest away.
296
00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:27,307
How about that?
297
00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:31,173
♪♪
298
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:34,038
[SIGHS] Okay.
299
00:11:37,593 --> 00:11:40,389
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
300
00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:44,393
Hi.
Uh, I'm Sam Loudermilk.
301
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,016
I'm here to see Clyde.
302
00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:49,570
Oh. Right. Yeah.
Sure, come on in.
303
00:11:50,364 --> 00:11:51,711
Thanks.
304
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:55,645
[SIGHS]
305
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,200
So...is...
is he here?
306
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,029
Yeah, he is,
but he's sleeping.
307
00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:05,034
Sleeping?
It's 2:00... 2:00 P.M.
308
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,416
Is he a drinker?
309
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,832
It's not a judgment.
310
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,972
I had some issues with
the bottle myself,
311
00:12:12,007 --> 00:12:17,184
so, uh, it's not surprising
that he does, too...
If... If he does.
312
00:12:17,219 --> 00:12:18,772
No, he doesn't.
313
00:12:18,807 --> 00:12:20,291
Okay, good.
That's good.
314
00:12:21,361 --> 00:12:23,052
Are you two married?
315
00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:27,608
Um...ju... Just... Just wait
right there, okay?
316
00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,749
D-Don't move.
317
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:32,855
[DOOR SHUTS]
318
00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:37,998
[GLASS CLANKS]Hello.
319
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,034
[DOOR SHUTS]
320
00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:43,763
Wait. You're Annette?
321
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:49,665
Wow, you...
you look so familiar.
322
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:54,808
Yeah, yeah! Take it all!
Take it all! Oh, yeah!
323
00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:57,777
Take it all! Yeah, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
324
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,400
No, no, no!
Come on! Not here!
325
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,333
Sorry, but, uh, someone's
sleeping on the couch.
326
00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:03,610
Dad, please!
Oh, yeah!
327
00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:06,337
Oh, fuck!
328
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,272
[SIGHS]
I'm Sam Loudermilk.
329
00:13:10,306 --> 00:13:13,654
You're... You and my father,
last year, had...
330
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:15,829
Hmm. [SIGHS]
331
00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:18,590
You met at the restaurant
that you worked at, and...
332
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:20,178
You're the lobster guy!
333
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:22,249
Uh, anti-lobster guy.
334
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,493
I don't like lobster.
It upsets my stomach.
335
00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:27,082
Yes, you were
with your father,
and you...
336
00:13:28,773 --> 00:13:31,189
Mm-hmm.
337
00:13:31,224 --> 00:13:35,987
So, I did everything I could
to find out who the daddy was,
338
00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:37,230
but, you know, like I said,
339
00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:39,957
I was going through
kind of a crazy time,
340
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:42,752
and some of the guys... I just
didn't have their numbers.
341
00:13:42,787 --> 00:13:47,033
And the ones I did have, well,
none of them called me back.
342
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:49,276
Yeah, y-you don't have to
explain it to me.
343
00:13:49,311 --> 00:13:51,865
People aren't very forthcoming
sometimes.
344
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:55,006
Right. That's why I did
Clyde's DNA test,
345
00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:57,871
which I'm glad I did now
because,
346
00:13:59,045 --> 00:14:00,115
well, I guess it worked.
347
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,600
I guess so.
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,327
Hey, Annette, he's awake.
Yeah? Oh, okay.
349
00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:08,226
So, if Clyde's father
is your father,
350
00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:11,851
that makes you Clyde's...
uncle?
351
00:14:13,093 --> 00:14:14,163
Brother.
352
00:14:14,198 --> 00:14:16,303
Oh! Wow!
353
00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:18,133
But you're so much older
than him.
354
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:22,102
PHYLLIS: Somebody's hungry.
Clyde.
355
00:14:22,137 --> 00:14:25,692
This is your brother, Sam.
356
00:14:26,555 --> 00:14:30,559
[CLYDE COOING]
357
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,425
NEW GUY: Okay, I-I just never
understood this.
358
00:14:34,459 --> 00:14:36,185
Why wouldn't they
name the sun?
359
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,015
I mean, they don't call
our planet "planet."
360
00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:39,568
No, it's called Earth.
361
00:14:39,602 --> 00:14:41,708
And they name all the other
planets, too.
362
00:14:41,742 --> 00:14:43,537
Mars, Jupiter, Venus.
363
00:14:43,572 --> 00:14:45,988
And yet our sun...
the most important part
364
00:14:46,023 --> 00:14:48,404
of our solar system...
what do they call it?
365
00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:50,579
[LISPING] The Sun!
The moon, too, right?
366
00:14:50,613 --> 00:14:52,270
That deserves a name.Oh, no, no, no, no.
367
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:53,651
The moon's
a dusty piece of shit.
368
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,549
[LAUGHS]
369
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:57,413
You sure you don't mind
if I drink?
370
00:14:57,448 --> 00:14:59,553
Oh, no, no,
I like the smell.
371
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:03,178
And I can, uh,
taste it on your lips
later back at my place...
372
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:05,628
Oh!
373
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:07,630
There's a lot of things
we could do...
374
00:15:07,665 --> 00:15:09,943
[WHISPERING] Later
back at your place.
375
00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:12,014
I'll get the check.
[CHUCKLES]
376
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:13,671
[PHONE RINGING]
377
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,914
Oh, let me take this.
378
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,193
Hey, Philly!
379
00:15:18,814 --> 00:15:20,816
No way.
380
00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:24,544
Yeah, of course!
Let's do it!
381
00:15:25,579 --> 00:15:27,927
Okay, awesome.
382
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,135
[SWALLOWS]
383
00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,654
That was my friend Philly.
They're gonna meet us here.
384
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,311
Here?
But what about all the things
385
00:15:33,346 --> 00:15:35,520
I was about to taste
back at my place?
386
00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:37,660
They have extra tickets
to The Shins.
387
00:15:37,695 --> 00:15:39,731
No idea what that means.
It's a band.
388
00:15:39,766 --> 00:15:42,182
They're good.
Don't worry, Hiram.
389
00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:45,427
We're in for
a long, fun night.
390
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,084
I got to go to the bathroom.
391
00:15:48,188 --> 00:15:50,501
♪♪
392
00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:55,885
[WHISPERING] Siri, how...
How long does Viagra last?
393
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,508
Hiram?
[SIRI DINGS]
394
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,475
Is everything okay?
Oh, totally good.
395
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:01,270
Totally good.
Here's the answer
to your question,
396
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:03,341
"How long does Viagra last?"
397
00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:05,102
My Siri has Tourette's.
398
00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:06,827
Why do you need Viagra?
399
00:16:08,139 --> 00:16:09,313
I-I don't.
400
00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:14,076
Is it me?
Oh, God, no,
it's not you.
401
00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:16,527
It's... It's... It's me.
402
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:19,530
"It's not you. It's me"?
Is there a bigger cliche?
403
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:21,221
No, thi... This isn't
what you think it is.
404
00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:23,085
Okay,
that's a bigger cliche.
405
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:27,952
No, no, no.
Louise, look, I like you.
406
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,783
I really like you, and I don't
want to disappoint you.
407
00:16:31,818 --> 00:16:35,960
See, when you're over 40...
Okay, 50...
408
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,858
You just don't know
what's happening
409
00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:39,653
all the time down there.
410
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:41,793
You scared?
411
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,003
Always.
412
00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:50,664
Well...why don't we go
out to the car right now
413
00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:53,012
and find out what is
happening down there?
414
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,117
Are you serious?
Oh, my God, that's great!
415
00:16:55,152 --> 00:16:56,670
That's perfect!
416
00:16:56,705 --> 00:16:59,880
Though, you know, 23 minutes
from now would be even better.
417
00:16:59,915 --> 00:17:02,193
It still seems nuts to me
that I could hook up
418
00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:07,371
with a 70-year-old man
just one night
and this could happen.
419
00:17:07,405 --> 00:17:09,200
Well, it was
a hell of a night.
420
00:17:10,098 --> 00:17:12,376
Are you, uh,
disappointed in me?
421
00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:13,825
No, no.
422
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,862
I-I do think that
the both of you
423
00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,346
could have been
a little more careful.
424
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:20,418
That's how I ended up
with my other two.
425
00:17:20,453 --> 00:17:22,765
You have two other kids?
426
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,526
Yeah,
they're at a sleepover.
427
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,218
Clem's in second grade,
and Clarissa's
in kindergarten.
428
00:17:28,288 --> 00:17:30,704
I guess I don't always
make the best choices
429
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:31,878
when it comes to men.
430
00:17:31,912 --> 00:17:33,880
Yeah, I'd say
we're pretty much
431
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:36,020
reading the large print
on that one.
432
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,574
But I am ready to
do things differently.
433
00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:41,094
I-I want to make a good life
for Clyde,
434
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:43,855
which is why I was hoping you
could help me find his dad...
435
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:44,925
Your dad.
436
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,755
Yeah, well, good luck
with that.
437
00:17:46,789 --> 00:17:48,377
I mean,
I'll give you a number,
438
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:51,208
but trying to find my dad
is like trying to find Waldo,
439
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:53,934
if Waldo had his pants down
and owed everybody money.
440
00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:56,109
I tried calling his number
so many times.
441
00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,938
I figured it would
be hard to locate him
442
00:17:57,973 --> 00:17:59,492
since he told me
he was in the FBI.
443
00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:01,666
Wait, no, this says,
444
00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:04,600
"Jack Flash...
Federal Bikini Inspector."
445
00:18:05,705 --> 00:18:07,534
Oh, I didn't notice that.
446
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:09,536
[CHUCKLES]
That's pretty funny.
447
00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:11,987
It looks so official.[WHISTLES]
448
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:15,232
Um, how are you doing this
all by yourself?
449
00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:16,233
You getting by?
450
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,753
Oh, yeah, I'm...
You know, pretty much.
451
00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:23,447
We have enough
for baby food, and I get
a shift meal at work.
452
00:18:23,481 --> 00:18:26,450
And most of Clyde's stuff
I just get from the Dumptique.
453
00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:28,072
What's that?
What's a Dumptique?
454
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,970
That's a little shack
at the dump
455
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:32,076
where they pull stuff out
that's still kind of good.
456
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,113
I find a lot
of baby toys there.
457
00:18:36,045 --> 00:18:39,463
That's why I was hoping to
get some help from your dad,
458
00:18:40,188 --> 00:18:43,260
or, you know, anyone.
459
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:49,093
Um...how much
do you need?
460
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,750
$5,000.
461
00:18:50,784 --> 00:18:52,752
Mm. Hmm.
I know. I know.
462
00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:54,478
It's a lot of money,
but it would
463
00:18:54,512 --> 00:18:57,481
really help me baby-proof
this whole place
464
00:18:57,515 --> 00:19:01,105
and get some new toys
and a safer crib
465
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,796
and help pay for
the doctor visits,
466
00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:05,799
especially the doctor visits,
and babysitting, too.
467
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,008
Look, I feel bad. I do.
468
00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:09,941
But I don't have
a lot of money, either.
469
00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:13,980
Oh. Oh, I...
Yeah, I understand.
470
00:19:14,014 --> 00:19:16,638
Yeah, it's not your problem.
I know.
471
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:20,193
It wouldn't be fair to you,
so don't even worry about it.
472
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:21,988
[VOICE BREAKING]
We'll be fine.
473
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:24,991
But, uh, hey, it was good
to see you again.
474
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:27,304
And if you ever
want to come by
and see your baby brother,
475
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:28,995
just...
just let me know.
476
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,652
Okay.
477
00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:36,347
Okay, look,
I... I... I think...
478
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:39,143
I might have some cash
stashed away for emergencies
479
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,731
or in case of
a home invasion,
480
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,527
and this probably qualifies
as either or both.
481
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:44,804
Are you sure?
482
00:19:45,425 --> 00:19:48,497
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure.
483
00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:50,706
[DOOR SLAMS]
484
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,814
Hey, there he is!
How'd it go?
485
00:19:54,848 --> 00:19:57,126
Did you meet your bro?
Yes, I did!
486
00:19:57,161 --> 00:19:58,645
So...?
What was he like?
487
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,544
Did he look like you?
What did he say?
488
00:20:01,924 --> 00:20:04,030
Hard to tell if
he looks like me,
489
00:20:04,064 --> 00:20:06,170
and I did most
of the talking.
490
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,655
What's wrong, dude?
You look like you've
been kicked in the nuts.
491
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:11,037
Oh, that would have
been way better.
492
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:14,489
Oh, no!
Is he a bigger asshole
than you?
493
00:20:14,523 --> 00:20:16,387
What is it?
Is he, like, a political nut?
494
00:20:17,077 --> 00:20:19,010
No, didn't talk politics.
495
00:20:19,045 --> 00:20:21,289
Smart.
What did you guys
talk about?
496
00:20:21,323 --> 00:20:24,326
Nothing.
He's a baby.
497
00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:27,191
You mean like he's selfish?
Like a jerk or something?
498
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,744
Nope, like an actual baby.
499
00:20:28,779 --> 00:20:31,954
Like a sleeping-in-a-crib,
pooping-in-a-diaper baby.
500
00:20:31,989 --> 00:20:35,164
But how is that
even fucking possible?
501
00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:36,787
Remember when my dad
was here
502
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:38,513
and he banged the shit
out of that waitress?
503
00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:41,861
Well, their little storybook
romance bore fruit.
504
00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:44,864
Ohh!
The old scumbag
made a fucking baby?
505
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:48,005
Holy shit!
Does your dad know about this?
506
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,076
I don't know.
Like he'd give a shit?
507
00:20:52,906 --> 00:20:56,703
Loudermilk. What...
What are you gonna do?
508
00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:58,878
What am I gonna do?
509
00:20:58,912 --> 00:21:02,571
Uh, I'm gonna send her
some money
and not do anything.
510
00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:04,642
It's not my problem.
511
00:21:04,677 --> 00:21:06,437
Are you comfortable
with that?
512
00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:08,405
Except for
the sending money part.
513
00:21:08,439 --> 00:21:11,477
Okay, you know what? Actually,
there's an opportunity here.
514
00:21:11,511 --> 00:21:13,168
How do you figure that?
515
00:21:13,202 --> 00:21:16,896
Well, Sam, you're really good
at helping people, you know?
516
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,656
And I think it's something
that you enjoy
517
00:21:18,691 --> 00:21:20,175
be...because
it gives you purpose.
518
00:21:20,209 --> 00:21:22,177
Not really.
And as long as
I've known you,
519
00:21:22,211 --> 00:21:24,110
you've... you've always,
you know, sort of complained
520
00:21:24,144 --> 00:21:25,525
about not having anyone.
521
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,114
Well, now, through
a truly weird
522
00:21:28,148 --> 00:21:31,600
and creepy set of
unwholesome circumstances,
523
00:21:31,635 --> 00:21:33,878
you... you have someone
to live for,
524
00:21:33,913 --> 00:21:35,604
you know, that actually
needs your help.
525
00:21:35,639 --> 00:21:37,675
And it isn't
just some stranger
because he's your br...
526
00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:39,505
He's your baby...
He's your baby brother,
527
00:21:39,539 --> 00:21:41,403
which is super fucked-up.
528
00:21:41,438 --> 00:21:43,923
[SIGHS]
529
00:21:45,476 --> 00:21:47,133
♪♪
530
00:21:47,167 --> 00:21:50,378
So, they... they finally
open up the suggestion box.
531
00:21:50,412 --> 00:21:52,138
There's only one in there...
532
00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:54,278
"Hal should be
less of an asshole."
533
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,176
[LAUGHTER]
534
00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:58,800
Hey!
What are you doing here?
535
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,664
I thought you'd be out
on the reservation
536
00:22:00,698 --> 00:22:02,631
dealing blackjack
with your people or something.
537
00:22:03,218 --> 00:22:04,599
Get this.
538
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:08,292
I get all the way out there,
and they ain't even
have a casino.
539
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,535
Fuck 'em.
540
00:22:09,569 --> 00:22:11,882
Like, I don't care
what that test says.
541
00:22:11,916 --> 00:22:13,849
All's they do is hunt
and fish all day.
542
00:22:13,884 --> 00:22:15,851
That's not me.
543
00:22:15,886 --> 00:22:17,784
I thought I was gonna
get out there and be so proud.
544
00:22:17,819 --> 00:22:21,374
Like, how could you not
build a friggin' casino?
545
00:22:21,409 --> 00:22:23,169
You found your heritage.
546
00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:25,654
The Assiniboine...
Those are your people.
547
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:27,656
Your Latino family...
548
00:22:27,691 --> 00:22:31,039
Those are your people
because they are you.
549
00:22:31,867 --> 00:22:33,317
What are you talking about?
550
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:36,700
You have a great spirit
within you
551
00:22:36,734 --> 00:22:39,150
that has been handed down
for many generations
552
00:22:39,185 --> 00:22:40,842
from many different people.
553
00:22:40,876 --> 00:22:43,707
You need to
embrace them all.
554
00:22:43,741 --> 00:22:46,744
That's easy
for you to say, man.
You're full-blooded Tilulu.
555
00:22:46,779 --> 00:22:49,644
Tilulu? From the casino?
556
00:22:49,678 --> 00:22:50,817
So you're rich.
557
00:22:52,681 --> 00:22:54,269
I'm an alcoholic.
558
00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:04,383
[VOICE BREAKING] Money...
[CLEARS THROAT]
559
00:23:06,626 --> 00:23:10,389
It doesn't change
who you are inside.
560
00:23:12,114 --> 00:23:14,669
Uh, if you're not
proud of yourself,
561
00:23:15,946 --> 00:23:19,018
of who you are,
money means nothing.
562
00:23:19,052 --> 00:23:20,744
[SPITS]
563
00:23:20,778 --> 00:23:23,540
But I am proud now.
564
00:23:23,574 --> 00:23:25,611
So, yes, I-I am rich.
565
00:23:27,095 --> 00:23:30,547
Yeah, Cloud, but your tribe
has everything.
566
00:23:30,581 --> 00:23:32,238
It's not about the tribe.
567
00:23:32,272 --> 00:23:35,517
It's about you,
about who you are.
568
00:23:35,552 --> 00:23:38,244
You haven't accepted
any part of yourself.
569
00:23:38,278 --> 00:23:42,524
And until you do,
happiness will
always be a stranger to you.
570
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:48,116
If you don't love yourself,
571
00:23:48,150 --> 00:23:53,432
if you don't love your own
blood, no one can love you.
572
00:23:57,919 --> 00:23:59,541
♪♪
573
00:23:59,576 --> 00:24:03,027
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
574
00:24:03,062 --> 00:24:05,513
♪♪
575
00:24:05,547 --> 00:24:07,066
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
576
00:24:08,308 --> 00:24:09,378
Oh, hey.
577
00:24:09,413 --> 00:24:11,277
I thought you were Phyllis.
She's late.
578
00:24:11,311 --> 00:24:12,934
Yeah, I'm sorry
I didn't call.
579
00:24:12,968 --> 00:24:14,729
I-I was just
doing some errands,
580
00:24:14,763 --> 00:24:17,801
and I thought I'd, uh, stop by
and see how Clyde's doing.
581
00:24:17,835 --> 00:24:20,148
Yeah. Oh, too bad.
I-I just put him down.
582
00:24:20,182 --> 00:24:22,150
He'd have been excited
to see you.
583
00:24:23,634 --> 00:24:26,361
Uh, listen, I've been doing
a lot of thinking lately,
584
00:24:26,395 --> 00:24:29,468
and I-I would
really like to be
a part of my brother's life
585
00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:32,298
if, uh...
If that's okay with you.
586
00:24:32,332 --> 00:24:35,750
Of course!
Oh, that would be nice!
587
00:24:35,784 --> 00:24:38,960
Yeah, I... You know,
I was a little
shell-shocked before,
588
00:24:38,994 --> 00:24:42,135
but, um, none of this
is that baby's fault.
589
00:24:42,170 --> 00:24:43,482
Or anyone's, really.
590
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:46,208
Well, it's a little bit yours,
but, uh, you know,
591
00:24:46,243 --> 00:24:49,142
the... The truth is,
is that Clyde's my family.
592
00:24:49,177 --> 00:24:51,351
You don't turn your back
on flesh and blood.
593
00:24:51,386 --> 00:24:53,215
He and I
are connected forever.
594
00:24:53,250 --> 00:24:55,010
Yeah, especially when
you consider that
595
00:24:55,045 --> 00:24:58,531
you were literally there
at the moment
of his actual conception.
596
00:24:58,566 --> 00:24:59,843
Remember?
597
00:24:59,877 --> 00:25:01,327
Yes, that's seared
in my brain,
598
00:25:01,361 --> 00:25:03,536
along with 9/11
and the space shuttle
blowing up.
599
00:25:03,571 --> 00:25:05,676
But, um, you know,
in spite of that, I just...
600
00:25:05,711 --> 00:25:09,473
I... I don't want to have that
kid growing up with the kin...
601
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,372
I'm sorry.
What is going on up top here?
602
00:25:12,407 --> 00:25:14,547
There's something
very different.
603
00:25:14,582 --> 00:25:17,481
You noticed!
The... You got a boob job?
604
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,310
Yes!
Thanks to you,
605
00:25:19,345 --> 00:25:21,520
that money that you gave me
almost covered all of it!
606
00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:24,695
Are you fucking
shitting me?
607
00:25:24,730 --> 00:25:27,905
That money was supposed
to be for the baby!
608
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:30,045
These are for the baby!
No.
609
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,393
You said it was for diapers
and clothes and doctors
610
00:25:33,428 --> 00:25:35,430
and toys that didn't
come from the dump,
611
00:25:35,464 --> 00:25:37,432
not... Not plastic boobs.
612
00:25:37,466 --> 00:25:39,710
He's gonna have
all those things!
613
00:25:39,745 --> 00:25:41,643
God, don't you see?
These are an investment.
614
00:25:41,678 --> 00:25:44,094
An in... An invest...
You know what?
615
00:25:44,128 --> 00:25:46,372
I have never once heard
an accountant say,
616
00:25:46,406 --> 00:25:48,650
"Put all your money
in fake jugs."
617
00:25:48,685 --> 00:25:51,066
Never once.
Okay, it's like this.
618
00:25:51,101 --> 00:25:53,586
So, Janine at work...
She has enormous breasts.
619
00:25:53,621 --> 00:25:56,175
And she always gets
twice as many tips as I do.
620
00:25:56,209 --> 00:25:59,005
So one night, I was doing
some financial planning,
621
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,250
and I thought
to myself, "If...
If I had tits like Janine's,
622
00:26:02,284 --> 00:26:04,286
"I could double
my income."
623
00:26:04,321 --> 00:26:07,220
Yes, because I forgot
that you went
to Harvard Business School.
624
00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:09,084
You... You think
I'm stupid.
625
00:26:09,671 --> 00:26:11,052
Nope, nope.
626
00:26:11,086 --> 00:26:14,849
There's somebody
in this room that's stupid,
but it's not you.
627
00:26:14,883 --> 00:26:17,023
This is gonna work!
628
00:26:17,058 --> 00:26:18,956
I'll show you!
I'll show you!
629
00:26:18,991 --> 00:26:21,372
I'll show everyone!
A-And you'll be proud of me!
630
00:26:21,407 --> 00:26:23,271
[CLYDE CRYING]
631
00:26:23,305 --> 00:26:25,549
Oh, shit!
Clyde's awake!
632
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,378
Where is Phyllis?
633
00:26:29,967 --> 00:26:32,280
[SIGHS][DOOR SHUTS]
634
00:26:32,314 --> 00:26:35,145
Look, look, I'm sorry,
but could you just please
635
00:26:35,179 --> 00:26:37,112
sit with the baby
until my sitter gets here?
636
00:26:37,147 --> 00:26:40,702
What? No. I don't... I'm sure
she'll be here any minute.
637
00:26:40,737 --> 00:26:43,153
I really can't wait. I took
a week off for the procedure,
638
00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:45,086
and I cannot be late
on my first day back.
639
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,813
You don't even know me.
Why would you
trust me with him?
640
00:26:47,847 --> 00:26:48,986
'Cause you're his brother.
641
00:26:50,678 --> 00:26:53,094
No, can't...
can't you just
642
00:26:53,128 --> 00:26:55,130
go in there
and calm him down or...?
643
00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:57,270
If I go in there, he will
never go back to sleep.
644
00:26:57,305 --> 00:26:59,997
He'll just be pawing at me,
trying to get at my boobs,
645
00:27:00,032 --> 00:27:02,586
just like your dad.Oh, good God.
646
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,968
Look, I promise it won't be
more than 10 minutes.
647
00:27:05,002 --> 00:27:07,660
He'll calm down if you just
sit and talk with him.
648
00:27:07,695 --> 00:27:08,730
Please?
649
00:27:09,248 --> 00:27:10,836
[SIGHS]
650
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:12,769
You're all I've got.
651
00:27:13,528 --> 00:27:15,737
Okay. Okay. Okay.
652
00:27:15,772 --> 00:27:18,291
Thank you! Thank you!
653
00:27:18,326 --> 00:27:21,018
Ow!
Aah, I can't hug yet.
654
00:27:21,053 --> 00:27:23,331
I got to go.
Wait a second.
Wait.
655
00:27:23,365 --> 00:27:24,608
What... What do I
even say to him?
656
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,299
Oh, it doesn't matter.
He's a baby.
657
00:27:26,334 --> 00:27:27,611
Just say anything
you want.
658
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,648
Bye.
659
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,961
[CRYING CONTINUES]
660
00:27:32,996 --> 00:27:34,791
Hey, buddy.
661
00:27:36,102 --> 00:27:38,277
How you doing?
662
00:27:38,311 --> 00:27:43,316
Sam Loudermilk. I'm your,
uh, your big brother.
663
00:27:45,698 --> 00:27:47,631
[SIGHS]
That sounds weird.
664
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:51,980
Um... [CLICKS TONGUE]
Yeah, I... You probably
don't remember me.
665
00:27:52,015 --> 00:27:54,811
You were sleeping
but I saw you
the other night, and, uh...
666
00:27:57,848 --> 00:28:00,402
It doesn't matter.
Um...
667
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:04,234
Yeah.
668
00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:07,513
Hey, what do you think of
your mom's new rack, huh?
669
00:28:07,547 --> 00:28:09,998
[CRYING STOPS]
670
00:28:12,518 --> 00:28:13,519
Yeah!
671
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,797
How you doing?
672
00:28:16,936 --> 00:28:19,732
Hey,
"I decided not to cry."
673
00:28:19,767 --> 00:28:21,492
[CHUCKLES]
674
00:28:22,390 --> 00:28:24,357
What's that fuss about,
anyway?
675
00:28:24,392 --> 00:28:25,911
You, uh...
676
00:28:25,945 --> 00:28:31,744
You cold or scared
or...you don't feel safe?
677
00:28:31,779 --> 00:28:34,057
Maybe like
nobody's listening to you
678
00:28:36,438 --> 00:28:37,888
and looking out for you?
679
00:28:39,579 --> 00:28:44,723
Like you're all alone in
the world and nobody cares?
680
00:28:48,036 --> 00:28:49,728
Yeah, me, too.
681
00:28:52,696 --> 00:28:54,698
You'll get used to it.
682
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,873
♪♪
683
00:28:59,945 --> 00:29:05,605
♪ Come right to my house
and took me out
684
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,851
♪♪
685
00:29:09,886 --> 00:29:12,509
♪ Took me out
686
00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:14,960
♪ Took me out
687
00:29:14,994 --> 00:29:17,859
♪ Took me out
688
00:29:17,894 --> 00:29:21,035
♪ Took me out
689
00:29:21,069 --> 00:29:23,623
♪♪
690
00:29:31,217 --> 00:29:34,048
♪ Took me out
691
00:29:34,082 --> 00:29:36,913
♪ Took me out
692
00:29:36,947 --> 00:29:39,467
♪ Took me out
693
00:29:39,501 --> 00:29:42,470
♪ Took me out ♪
694
00:29:42,504 --> 00:29:45,887
♪♪
695
00:29:45,922 --> 00:29:48,752
♪♪
51781
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