Original subtitles

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

Jill.

Jill.

Hey, Jill.

Look, I got your favorite, avocados.

I'll make the dip if you'll make the martinis.

Jill.

Hey, Jill.

Jill.

I have a feeling I'm talking to myself here.

Jack, darling, took mother to Bloomingdale's.

You know how mother is about a sale.

She's like the swallows of Capistrano, of Jill.

Damn it.

(doorbell chimes)

- Hi, fuckface.

So you thought you could dump me, you little worm.

What did you think I was, a one-time chick

get your jollies and run not with Lucy?

Hear me, buster?

Hey, you can't come in here now.

- I'm already in, what are you gonna do about it?

- I'll call the--

- You'll call what?

Call the cops.

I'll tell them you're a pansy little pervert

that jacks off on girls' faces.

- You wouldn't dare.

- I wouldn't, try me.

So this is your little love nest, huh, Jack-Jack-Off?

What do you do, hit your rocks off on the plants?

Fix me a drink, scumbag.

- Uh-oh, sure, I'll fix you a drink.

I'll fix you a drain on the rocks to cleanse your mouth.

- You're very funny, you should try out for the gong show.

- Look, what do you want from me?

- What I want is money.

Money, money.

50 bucks to be exact.

- What the hell for?

- Aw, look at little Mr. Innocent.

I came here to fuck, you know,

the pay now, fuck later plan.

- Oh yeah, well let's make it later, much later,

like I'm not in the mood.

- Aw, did the little birdie get your worm?

Well, tough kitty.

It's gonna cost you 50 bucks to get rid of me.

- You're not worth 50 cents.

- Hey, look, creepo, I'm an expensive chick.

I turned two tricks today at $100 a piece,

but I'm giving you a discount.

- Who'd you fuck, Abbott and Costello?

- Funny, funny.

Okay, far face, what's this gonna be,

a blow job, trip around the world?

Maybe you'll like something kinky,

like dressing up in my clothes.

Nah, I think I'll piss on you, you freak.

- Shut your fucking mouth.

You want your money, all right?

Here's your whore face money.

- That's for nothing, asshole.

- Where do you think you're going, you slut?

You're gonna get what you fucking deserve.

- Hey, nobody treats me like this.

- Oh, this is the first time, you rotten little cunt.

- What are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna give my 50 bucks worth.

You piece of filth.

I know what you want.

You want my hot cock down your throat,

or you're going to have to earn it.

All right.

Take your clothes off.

Now!

- Not that way.

No, no, I want you to take 'em off slow and sexy.

I want you to give me a show.

I'll give you a show.

That's it.

Nice and easy.

Oh, yeah.

I'll bet you're dying to get my cock in your mouth,

pumping away with my balls flopping against your chin.

your chin. Pinch those tits. Make them hard. Oh, that's nice. That's real nice. How many

cocks did you have up your snatch today? Bet you had more than two, huh? Show me your pussy.

Show it to me. Tell me about those cocks. How were they? How did they feel? It felt...

Oh yeah, I had a lot of cocks today. All kinds of cocks, pumping me full of cum. Oh, it felt

so great. I took one after another. I had a small one and I had a nice, black, juicy

one, pumping me full of cum. Oh yeah, it felt so great. Okay, bitch, now I want you to get

down on your hands and knees. Come on. Come on on your hands and knees. Come on now. Down,

down, down. All right, now I want you to... I want you to crawl over to me and I want you to

beg for it. Come on. Come on, Lucy. Beg for it. Come on. I want it. You want what? I want it.

You want what? I want your cock. You want my cock? I want your cock. You want my cock.

I want your cock. You've got to undress me first. Go ahead. First the shoes. That's it.

You got it. Tell me how much you want my cock. I want it more than anything. One of your

shoes, God damn it. Take out the other shoe. Come on, make it fast. Make it real fast.

Cock sucker. Give it to me. Come on. You want it? You want it a lot? Yes, I do. Well,

then tug on those pants. Pull with it. Go ahead. Pull it. Pull it. Come back. I want to

tuck you. I want to have your balls in my mouth. Back off. That's nice. Stay right there. Don't move.

- Move.

Oh, does that look nice?

Does that look like a nice cock?

- It's a beautiful cock.

- Is this the nicest cock you ever had?

- The nicest cock I ever had.

- You wanna suck this cock?

- Yes, I do.

- You wanna suck it hard?

- I wanna suck it hard.

- You wanna suck it all the way down your throat?

- I wanna choke on it.

- Let me just rub this cock on your shoulder.

- Oh, oh, don't tease me like that.

Give it to me, give it to me.

You ran it down my throat.

- Hold it, hold it.

All right, take it.

Oh yeah.

Oh, oh.

Oh, that's nice.

You got it now.

Suck that cock.

Get it all the way down your mouth.

Oh yeah, that's fine.

Suck on it.

Oh, yeah.

Juicy cock, take it.

Oh, oh yeah, that's good.

It's real fine.

Suck that fucking cock.

Ah, oh, that's nice.

Oh, that's nice, that feels good.

That feels fine.

Suck that dick.

Suck that fucking cock.

Suck it good.

That's it, that's it.

Suck that cock.

All right, now I want you to run on your back.

Okay, I want you to spread your legs, spread them wide.

That's right, show me your pussy, that's it.

Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Ah, that's nice.

You can handle another finger in there.

You can handle another finger in there, that's nice.

That's nice, you're gonna get it.

You're gonna get it, you're gonna get the whole thing.

Go, go, now.

I'm not gonna fuck you until you say, "Fuck me."

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

Oh no, more than that, more than that, more than that.

Fuck me.

You can't fuck me.

Fuck me.

You got it.

Oh, you son of a bitch.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's there.

You got it now, you fucking cunt whore.

You fucking slut-faced cunt whore.

You got that big fucking cock.

You got it now.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's nice.

(grunting)

- Suck me, you son of a bitch!

Come on!

- You feel that in there?

- Yeah.

- You feel it good and hard?

- Grab it!

- You feel it getting stronger?

- Yes!

- You feel it getting bigger?

- Yes!

- You feel it filling your whole cut?

- Yes, it is.

- It's getting bigger.

- I want your juice.

- You're gonna get it.

You're gonna get that fucking juice.

(grunting)

You want me to shoot it all over your tits?

- You want me to shoot all over the tits?

- I want to drink it!

- Oh, you got it?

(grunting)

- Oh, motherfucking cunt!

- Come on!

- I ran it.

(grunting)

- Press that rod!

- Okay, okay, now you're getting close.

Oh, you're getting close.

(grunting)

You ready?

- I'm ready!

- You ready?

You fucking ready?

(grunting)

Okay, okay, here's that hot cum you've been waiting for.

Ready?

Ready?

Take it!

(grunting)

- You got it!

You got it!

(grunting)

(groaning)

(groaning)

[Groaning]

You bag of shit!

You're nothing but a motherfucker, you lousy bastard.

You get your rocks off and you're nothing but a weed.

I'm not finished with you yet.

Where the hell do you think you're going?

You're gonna eat some pussy first, get it?

No.

No?

No!

All right.

Watch this.

You big man, big he-man.

Get your rocks off and let Lucy do nothing.

Walk away.

Nice flowers.

Now!

Do you want me to tear the whole fucking place apart

or are you gonna eat some pussy?

Yeah, you're gonna eat pussy.

Get that tongue in there.

Lick it.

Lick it better than you can use your cock, motherfucker.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, oh, keep that head in there

and you're not moving till I'm ready.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, you cunt, sucker.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna come eat you, cunt, sucker.

Oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[phone ringing]

Who's that?

I don't know, I'll get it.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi Clara.

I don't know, Jill's here.

Huh?

Were we invited to the Campbell's for dinner tonight?

Christ, I forgot.

Yeah, Clara, we're running a little late.

Do you think we can meet you at the restaurant?

Good, we'll be there in half an hour.

Phew, that was some session.

By the way, where'd you get Lucy's outfit?

It's terrible.

I know, it's a pit, but it's so forever

because of the Polaroid.

Come on, Jill, move it.

Listen, we can get Lucy to clean up that mess later.

The fuck I will!

[music playing]

This one looks like pizza's in the morning.

You should look so good, Clara.

How do you know it's a he?

It could be a she.

Women's intuition.

Now, where was I?

Your new client.

You would have to remind him.

Oh, yeah, well, I think it's funny.

Now, the product is, believe it or not,

a frozen dessert for dogs.

Great idea, frozen pussy.

Yeah, melts in your mouth.

Which it was.

It would make my ad campaign a lot easier.

Now, it's sort of an ice cream called Yummy,

and it comes in three flavors.

There's chocolate, vanilla, and blueberry.

And I can't come up with a good campaign idea.

I think that's our cue to give him some ideas.

Well, first of all, Jack, you've got to get

some sex into the campaign.

Sex?

Yeah, Jack, I've got it.

50 gorgeous dogs dressed in bikinis and sunglasses,

all gleefully laughing at Yummy.

Yeah, and the jingle is, put some Yummy in your dog's tummy.

Cha-cha-cha.

I guess I deserved that, didn't I?

Yeah, you did.

Cha-cha-cha.

Well, Jill, Jack tells me that you have an anniversary

coming up soon.

Anniversary?

What anniversary?

Our anniversary.

You know, I thought it was men who

were supposed to forget dates.

We will have been together for a year on the 15th.

Oh, your first wedding anniversary?

How wonderful.

That's a matter of opinion.

I have a great idea.

Why don't we celebrate your anniversary here on the 15th?

Our treat.

How about it?

Well, that sounds great.

How about it, Jill?

I'd love to.

Besides, Jack never passes over free meal.

Why don't we go powder our noses

and let the men talk dirty?

What the hell do women do in the powder room anyway?

Probably eat each other out.

Is that why they put fresh lipstick on?

Could be.

Jack, I've got to tell you something.

I've been dying to tell you about it all week.

You rode your bike for the first time without training wheels.

No, no, it's about Clara and I.

You trained your bike to ride Clara.

I'm serious, Jack.

So am I.

All right, all right.

Look, you know that Clara and I have been married now three

years, and well, the last year, our sex life

hasn't been that great.

I mean, we still love each other and all that,

but it's just got a little boring, I guess.

There's only so many positions that two people can get into,

right?

Anyway, now all that has changed.

You bought a new sex manual.

No, Jack.

We're into swinging, you know, swinging with other couples.

It's changed our entire sex life.

It's fantastic.

You and Jill have got to try it.

Swinging?

Yeah.

Oh, come on, Jack.

This is the '70s, the decade of sexual freedom.

You know, swinging, no holes barred.

You and Jill have got to get with it.

You'll love it, really.

OK, fellas, clean up your act.

The ladies are back.

Jack, they've got fresh lipstick on.

[GIGGLING]

It's time to call him now.

Now?

Now!

All right, already.

You don't have to jump all over me.

Shut up and dial.

Jack that might be a phone call. Why don't you answer it and I'll get the drinks.

You're dying. Shoot.

Hello? Is this Jack?

Well, that depends.

If you're selling something, no.

If you're giving something away, yes.

Oh, I've definitely got something to give you.

Guess what it is.

Is it bigger than a red box?

No.

Look, I'm not into 20 questions.

What is it?

Oh, I've got love.

Lots and lots of love.

You don't say.

I want your hot body against mine.

I want your throbbing manhood to enter my deep, dark, hot, juicy tunnel of love.

How does that sound?

Sounds like a quote from Fanny Hill.

Oh, I'm much better than Fanny Hill could ever be.

Look, if you're in the neighborhood, why don't you drop up for a drink?

I think my wife would be glad to meet you.

Oh, I don't want to meet your wife.

I want to meet you.

And we will meet very soon.

Until then.

[moaning]

Darling, who is that?

That was my first obscene phone call.

I think we should celebrate.

Great.

I think I'll call in Lucy.

Oh, no.

Let's not call in Lucy.

She's too exhausting.

Hey, uh, why don't you turn on the video?

Good idea.

[moaning]

I wonder how those guys manage to keep hard-ons in all those movies.

I wouldn't know. I don't have a cock.

Jack, I'm sorry about tonight.

I mean, about the anniversary, I almost blew it.

Tell me about it.

Are you mad at me?

No, I'm not mad at you.

What are you thinking?

About what?

Nothing.

Nothing?

I'll bet it's nothing.

Come on, tell me about it.

[laughing]

All right, all right, I'll tell you, I'll tell you.

If you just, if you'll quit it, will you?

Don't ever do that again.

Okay, let's have it.

Okay, okay, we, well, it's been almost a year now

and, uh, and we've tried a lot of different things,

you know, with games and everything,

with, well, it's just one thing we haven't tried, that's all.

Like what?

Uh, like swinging.

Swinging? Like Tarzan and Jane?

[singing]

No, no, look, I mean, swinging, you know, like with other couples.

Look, Jill, this is the '70s.

This is the decade of sexual freedom, swinging.

Okay.

No holds barred.

Look, there's time you got with it, Jill.

Okay.

Now, look, you're gonna love this.

Now, what do you say?

I said okay.

Really?

Why?

Because you want to.

What's the matter, chickening out?

Ah.

Right.

Who's the couple?

What do you have in mind?

Oh, I, I didn't have anybody.

Uh, well, I was talking to, uh, Pete

and he said if you were willing.

The Campbells?

You're kidding.

You're not kidding.

How do you expect me to look you straight in the eye?

I mean, they are our best friends.

Well, you just have to.

We're invited to their place for dinner tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat music)

- Lovely dinner, wasn't it?

- Oh, you know it was really great.

Clara, sensational.

Pete, really, you've really got something to say.

- I know, sensational.

- Sensation dinner.

- Anyone care for some coffee?

- After dinner drinks.

- I'd love one.

(laughs)

Listen, I have a great idea.

Why don't we all go into the other room

where we can be more comfortable.

We can have our drinks in there, all right?

(crying)

(panting)

(footsteps)

(footsteps)

(panting)

[footsteps]

[Sounds of water]

Thank you.

[Sounds of water]

Well, uh, cheers everybody. Cheers.

How about a joint? Pete? Yes.

[Sounds of water]

Well, what's everybody want to do?

Well, uh, we could play some games.

Yeah, do you have any playing cards?

Sure, we could play some poker.

Sounds good to me. Five card or seven card?

Well, why don't we keep it simple for the girls. Let's make it, uh, one card draw, low card loses.

Loses what?

Well, uh, what do you want to do? Play for money or what?

I like the or what.

Oh, gutty, strip poker.

No objections then? Strip poker it is.

Uh, jewelry doesn't count.

Ha ha, you're the first.

An ace.

What are aces in this game? Are aces high?

High, we're playing high. It's yours.

My luck.

Here we go. Seven, a nine, a five.

Big card queen, I'm winning on this one.

I don't know, it seems to be my lucky day.

Go ahead, put everybody staring at it.

All right. King, seven, six, nine.

Keep going.

Just a time.

What do we do now? We don't have any clothes left.

Well, how about, uh, low card has to do whatever high card wants.

For how long?

Well, let's say 30 seconds.

I guess I'll, I'll settle for a little kiss.

Well, there wasn't 30 seconds, but, uh, that'll do.

I guess I'll take one of those kisses, too.

Why don't you kiss a little lower?

My breasts.

Okay, that's 30 seconds, uh, kids.

Five, jack, nine, and an ace.

Well, Clara, why don't you go down on me for a while?

[music]

♪ (melancholy music)

- Ooh... ♪ (melancholy music)

- Come on, Pete. ♪ (melancholy music)

♪ (melancholy music)

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(lively jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(smooth jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

(upbeat jazz music)

[music]

Hell with the cards. Come on.

[THEME MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

(upbeat jazz music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

- Oh...Oh Jack, I love you!

- Huh?

- I love you. Please, promise me I'll see you again, alone.

Oh! - Sure, Carol. Sure.

- Oh!

- I love you, Jill. I've always loved you.

- Are you just saying that, Pete?

- No, no, I mean it. I really mean it.

Promise me we can see each other again, alone.

- Oh, fuck me, Pete. Fuck me!

- All right.

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

- Oh...

♪ (upbeat jazzy music)

♪ (ominous music)

- Well, I had a really nice time,

but don't ask me to do it again.

I love you! I've always loved you!

Really?

You gonna meet her tomorrow?

- Yes. Yes, I'm going to meet her tomorrow.

I'm going to meet her tomorrow night at the Commodore Hotel.

- The Commodore? But hasn't that been closed for a few years?

- That's right.

- Hey, Jack, up at your ass!

- Hey, Jill, next time we decide to swing,

let's have a three-way.

- I don't know. That usually ends up with one person

watching the other two fucking...

- So, what's the matter with a little good old-fashioned voyeurism?

- That's not a three-way.

You may as well just stand in the closet and watch.

- Okay. - Okay, watch.

- Okay, you can be in the closet and watch me.

- Uh-uh, I'm not in the closet. You're in the closet.

- Okay, we'll flip for it. Heads, I win, tails you lose.

Heads? - Heads, you win.

You're in the closet. - No, no, no.

That's not the way it works. - Listen, honey,

when you pick up the guy, make sure he's handsome

and that he's a stranger. - What do you mean me pick up the guy?

- Well, if you're gonna watch,

you may as well pick up something you like.

- Huh?

Heads, I win to...

♪

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

- Bloomingdale's bag department.

Which bag would you like to speak to?

- Hello, Jill? I got one.

- One what? - A guy.

I got a guy, you know, threesome, closet.

- Oh, what's he like?

- Well, he's a stranger and he's handsome.

- So is Jack the Ripper.

- Look, this is a nice guy. You're gonna like him.

Besides, he's hung like a horse.

- How would you know? - He told me.

- And you swallowed it? - No, but you will.

Well, do you want to do it or not?

- When's he gonna come? - In about a half an hour.

- How are you gonna get into the closet?

- Don't worry, I'll get there.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Sister Hill residence?

Certainly, yes.

I'm Jill Hill.

Come in.

- What's your name?

- I'm Tony.

I'm from the phone company.

- Oh, you're better than Jack described.

- Jack?

Who's Jack?

- Aren't you a coy one.

Let me take your jacket.

- Hey, lady.

Where do you want the connection?

- Oh, the bedroom would be nice.

Care for a drink?

Scotch vodka?

- No, thanks.

I don't have much time.

I got, uh, four more connections to make today.

- Four more?

How many did you do in one day?

- About 15.

- Oh, great.

It's dead, aren't you?

- Well, some of the ladies think so.

Where's the bedroom?

- All made here.

- Oh, well, here's the bedroom.

Let's make the connection.

- Well, lady, where do you want it?

- Oh, I want it right here.

- Hey, are you kidding?

- Well, if you don't like it there, you can always put it in my mouth.

It won't be bashful.

15 connections a day?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

It's not a dream.

- It's not a dream.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Oh, baby, let's make the connection.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(heavy breathing)

(grunting)

[GROANING]

Oh, it's good.

Stick it in deeper.

Come on.

Come on.

More.

Oh.

Oh, it's good.

[GROANING]

Oh, yes.

Come on.

Come on.

[GROANING]

(grunting)

(moaning)

(breathing heavily)

(panting)

(heavy breathing)

(heavy breathing)

(panting)

- Hey, Leigh, where's the bathroom?

- Straight through there.

- Thanks.

- Jack, that was a hot one.

Jack?

Jack?

- Jill?

(horn honks)

- Jack, where have you been?

You missed all the action,

boy, was it hot.

- What are you talking about?

- The guy you sent over, he's in the bedroom.

We just got through.

- Are you crazy?

I just left him.

He'll be here in a few minutes.

- Well then, who's that in the bedroom?

- Yeah, mister, just who the hell are you?

- Hey, listen, mister, I don't want no trouble now.

Just came to put in the extension phone, cool?

- Cool?

Extension phone?

- Uh-oh, I got a wrong number.

- Uh-huh.

(soft music)

(soft music)

(soft music)

[ Music ]

All right, enough fun and games, we've got work to do.

Oh, it's just getting into it.

Shut up and give me the phone.

Um, shut up and give me the phone.

Here's your damn phone.

One day, dearie, it's gonna be knuckle sandwich for you.

Here's one, nymphal wife hung hubby.

Long Island couple would like to swing and eat with other couples or by gals.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Ajax funeral parlor, you stiff 'em, we stuff 'em.

Hello, is this Jack the twat teaser?

Depends on whose twat is being teased.

Shut up, titsucker.

When we meet, and that will be soon, I'm going to smother your face with my hot pussy.

I'm going to drown you in my juices.

What a way to go, who is this anyway?

Never mind, you'll know soon enough.

Then you better start saving up all that hot cum because I'm going to suck your well dry.

Oh.

Is that the same girl?

No, that was a different one.

I wonder where they get my phone number.

Probably off the bathroom walls.

Do we really have to send photographs for these ads?

Probably.

I think they really want to know what they're getting into.

Yeah, well, we'd like to know what we're getting into.

I mean, they make some of them look so attractive.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Let's answer them. Read on, darling.

Here's one.

Attractive young at heart couple looking for same to waltz in the hay

with a groovy hip type.

Your place or ours.

Please, no painter professionals.

Young at heart couple.

Well, here we are, darlings.

Jolly Stud would like to ring your wife's bells.

Have gifted crotch guaranteed to make her merry.

Ho, ho, ho, little girl. Can Santa sniff your pussy?

Wife is gorgeous nympho, hubby mature, white male, oral expert.

Oh, yeah, so this must be the little lady.

Oral expert?

Masculine and feminine couple orally inclined into all nationalities, French, Greek and

English.

Oh, here's Jack.

Oh, God.

What's the matter, buddy?

You don't like blondes?

No, no, it's not that.

It's just that I don't like drag queens.

Hey, motherfucker, who you calling a drag queen?

Tell him, Mac, she is not a drag queen.

She's a real lady.

Come on, honey, we've been insulted in better places than this.

Young athletic couple would love to perform at your place.

Hi there, I am Roger and this is Rosetta.

Oh, hi, I'm Jack and this is Jill.

Hey, nice place you have here.

What do you think Rosetta?

Ay, ay, ay, Carmen Miranda.

I think we should set up over here, like the room.

Great, great.

Rosetta, listen, you set up the lights and I'll do all the rest, all right?

Excuse me.

Excuse me, but just what is it that you're setting up?

Why, our stage, of course, all the world is a stage.

I heard that before.

You don't need a stage, we have a very beautiful bedroom.

Listen, maybe for you the bedroom, but for us the stage, it is our life.

Five minutes of showtime, five minutes of showtime, pitch the ladder, bring it to stomp,

quick.

No, no, no, wait just a damn minute here, aren't you people here to swing?

Why, of course not.

We are actors, we're here to put on a show, did you not read the ad?

We live to perform.

Perform what?

One of the great classics of all time, Romeo and Juliet.

One minute to showtime.

I told you to do your thing.

What do you think?

I don't think we have much choice at this point.

Here is your souvenir program.

Well, thank you very much.

And that will be two dollars apiece, but you can pay me after the show.

Rosetta, hit the lights.

You got it.

Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou, my sweet Romeo?

I stand before thee, Juliet, my love.

Parting was a sweet sorrow.

Oh Romeo, kiss me with thy ruby-guay-blee.

I will kiss thee hard, as if I plucked up kisses by the roots that grill upon thy lips.

Oh Romeo, your kisses are sweeter than wine.

Ark, do mine eyes deceive me, or do I see two pounds, I mean mounds of flesh heaving

in passionate ecstasy?

There is no deception, my sweet Romeo.

These breaths, they heal for two.

Oh, what I would give to run mine hands over thy breasts.

Take them, ravish them, suck them.

Oh, see how my nipples take it hard with the touch of thy song.

Oh, suck them, you fool.

And this man was wise enough to play the fool.

Oh Romeo.

Now, Juliet, it is time for thy ruby-wet lips to kiss thy youthful body.

Kiss the nipples, kiss my nipples, kiss my armpits, kiss me all over, kiss my back, all

thy lips of the greatest, thy tongue the warmest, pull down my entights, pull down and kiss

thy body.

I have heard the cup that is the trumpet to the morn, doth with his lofty and shriek

sound his throat, acquit the god of death.

The lady doth protest too much mew-inks.

The ruby-wet lips suck on my cock, oh Juliet, Juliet, you're so beautiful.

Juliet, open my mound of joy and receive my kiss.

Juliet, open my mound of joy and receive the gifts I bear.

Oh Juliet, my pussy is the softest and the sweetest of all the land, oh Romeo, my tits

are as smooth as, my skin is like peaches and cream, you're so beautiful.

Oh Juliet, you feel my every thrust in my soft body, oh Juliet, you see my passion rising

and heaving in my sweet cunt, oh Romeo, oh that cock, oh Juliet, take my every thrust,

oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo,

oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo,

oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh Romeo, oh

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, for the weird old cough.

Come here.

Oh.

Oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, my man.

Well, it's muppet time now.

Oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

- Come with me.

- No.

(dog barks)

♪ (suspenseful music)

(dog barks)

(dog barks)

(train whistle blows)

♪ (suspenseful music)

♪ (soft music)

- Get that cock nice and big.

For me.

Look at my pussy.

See how wet it is?

A little wet because of you.

You're such a good slave.

You sucked me out.

Made me feel good.

I love your cock.

Now you've given me a free show.

What more can I ask for for my anniversary?

Beautiful.

Touch your balls too, a little bit.

Come on, jiggle those balls.

♪ (soft music)

That's what makes me cum.

- Oh yes, it's a thing.

♪ (soft music)

- Oh, oh, oh.

How about that?

♪ (soft music)

- Mmm!

♪ (soft music)

Oh!

♪ (soft music)

Oh!

Ah!

♪ (soft music)

I think I'm gonna put my finger in your asshole if you're good.

As a reward.

Would you like that?

Don't say anything, just nod.

Can you rub that cock?

Make it big.

♪ (soft music)

- Oh!

♪ (soft music)

- Ah!

♪ (soft music)

Ah!

Ah!

♪ (soft music)

♪ (soft music)

♪ (soft music)

- Ah!

♪ (soft music)

♪ (soft music)

- Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Oh!

Oh!

♪ (soft music)

- By the way, Jack, a message from Jill.

- Happy anniversary! - Happy anniversary!

- And I thought she forgot.

♪ (soft music)

- Okay. - Happy anniversary!

- What is this, a Polish wedding?

- Come on, come on, be romantic.

Take that.

Oh, all right.

- Well, if you like that, we can go further.

♪ (soft music)

- Well, Jack, what have you got to say after a year?

- Well, when we first got together,

we decided to give it a year and then evaluate the situation.

- Well?

- Well, on a scale of one to ten,

I think it was a ten.

- Oh! (both laugh)

- What's your evaluation, Jill?

- Well, I couldn't really put it on a scale.

From a woman's point of view, I've never been happier.

- I'd call that a real success story.

- So would I.

- Well, Jack, what do you want to do now?

- I'm willing if you are.

- I'm willing.

- Well, that settles it.

Pete, will you be my best man?

- Huh?

What do you mean, best man?

- We're getting married. - Getting married?

- Wait a minute, stop the music.

You mean all this time you were never legally married?

- That's right, we were living in sin.

And I think it was one of the best games we ever played.

- Don't you think so?

- I would think so, so far.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- You'll see.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

[MUSIC]

[BLANK_AUDIO]