All language subtitles for Elviras Movie Macabre-The Terror

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

I'm that diva who's got to see a devil.

Hello, darling.

That's my doppelganger, and I know you
want a banger.

But I am the one and only, unless, of
course, you buy the officially licensed

costume, Elvira.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Ew. Hey, you and the leather chaps. Not
for a million bucks, mister.

Oh, okay, maybe for a million bucks.

But anyway, I know what you're thinking.

Why, Elvira, that painting had to have
been done yesterday.

She has been dead for 20 years.

Hey, in show business, we call that a
hiatus.

Anyway, I'm back.

And I'm front.

And tonight I have one of the worst
pieces of fit ever committed to

am speaking of The Terror, starring
Boris Karloff.

At first I was terrified, but now I...

I'm eager for our every meeting.

Oh, don't try to sweet -talk me, Borey.
I should have called this movie The

Terror Bull, because let me tell you,
this movie stinks to you.

You think I'm mad, don't you?

Hey, you said it, not me. I mean, no
sane person would have agreed to star in

this crap.

I mean, even the color is so passé.

Wow, weird.

Even the color has a wisp.

And to top it all off, this is the
worst, I mean the first starring vehicle

none other than Academy Award winner
Jack Nicholson.

Unfortunately, that vehicle was driven
off a cliff.

Gee, I'd love to tell you what this
movie's about, but all I know is that

about an hour and a half too long.

So just sit back, put your feet upon the
one you love, and strap yourself in

for...

But if you have a few bars, I'll take
it. I was separated from my regiment at

Arshtad.

Do you have any drinking water?

I'm very thirsty.

Lay a water from the mountain

Thank

you,

I

I'd like a word with you. You never said
goodbye to me.

In fact, you never even said hello.

It isn't an act of treason to talk to
me.

I'm a weary, disillusioned soldier, and
you're the only pleasant sight that I've

seen in seven months.

Go ahead. It's permitted for you to
laugh.

Wait, you haven't told me your name.

My name's Elaine.

Come on, I want to show you something.

It's like a bar at 2 a .m. when the
lights come on.

Rest yourself, young man.

You're safe here.

Here.

Take this.

For your strength.

God knows help is a very rare thing in
this forest. Take it whenever it's

offered to you.

He attacked me.

I'm afraid you're wrong.

She's quite harmless.

Here.

Hold out your arm.

She only seems dangerous.

Actually, she's very affectionate, which
is very unusual for her.

Get back.

Oh, that is too bad.

Little girl liked him, didn't she?

You know, so far the only thing even
remotely scary is that it'll broaden her

bird. But really, darling, is that
enough to call the movie The Terror?

It's almost too bad to watch.

Uh, it doesn't really count if you can
still see the movie, Gustav.

Okay, darling, don't go anywhere.

If I have to watch this, so do you.

Welcome back, darling. It's me, that
vivacious vandal with more than you can

handle, Elvira. And tonight, I think
we've got even more than I can handle.

We're duck screening the terror.

It is Gustav.

He brought you here.

Gustav fed your horse.

Where is Helene?

This is Helene.

No, not the bird. The girl. Where is the
girl?

There is no girl.

Of course there's a girl. I saw her. She
spoke to me.

Perhaps you were tired from your long
journey and had a pleasant illusion.

Gustav, have you ever seen a girl here?

Gustav sometimes imagines things.

If he could...

I think we would find that his mind is
warped.

Such is the will of God to endow and
deprive.

The only thing of beauty you'll find in
this forest is

Helene.

Hello. I was afraid you'd drown.

So you are real.

I started to think.

Who are you?

Why are we whispering?

Quicksand.

The girl was trying to kill me.

She knows not what she does.

Her will is not her own.

You mean she's insane?

Possessed. She needs your help. Help?

How can I help her?

The castle of the Baron von Lepp.

You will find her there.

I can say no more. There's great danger.

The ride to Cobain is long and far safer
by day.

If you leave now, you can rejoin your
regiment by dusk. Where is Gustav?

What do you want him for?

I want him to show me where the castle
of the Baron von Leff is.

No one's lived in the castle for years.

Besides, Gustav has gone away for a few
days.

Perhaps you'd show me the way to the
castle.

Why are you so interested in the Baron?

I never said that I was, but the girl
that I followed last night and spoke to,

believe that she lives there.

Told you.

There is no girl. That is nonsense.

You recognize her, don't you?

I'll find the castle myself.

No, wait!

Don't go to the castle.

I have told you the truth.

There is no girl.

Mark me, you are getting yourself into
things beyond your understanding.

Leave now, while you can. I intend to
find her.

Please don't tell the Baroness I am
here.

Hello?

Is anyone here?

Hello? It's me, Andre.

In the name of the government of France,
I order you to open this door.

Your pardon, young sir, I was at my
devotions. I did not hear you.

I'm sorry, sir, but surely I made enough
noise to awaken the dead.

The government of France.

I've seen the uniforms of many
governments in my time.

What would a soldier of France be
wanting here?

Shelter, for one thing.

Permit me to introduce myself,
Lieutenant André Duvalier, 5th Chasseur.

Baron Victor Frederick von Lepp.

I suggest you will find better shelter
at the village inn. Thank you, Baron,

I've had my fill of village inns.

Surely you wouldn't want to
inconvenience a French officer.

Come in.

What you see, Lieutenant, are the
remains of a noble house.

Relics.

Ghosts of past glories.

A noble heritage is something to be
proud of, Baron. I'm afraid we've

that in France.

Ah, yes.

Your name, Duvalier. Your family. My
father was the Comte Duvalier.

was until they spilled his head into a
basket one morning in the Place de la

Concorde. Forgive me for reviving
painful memories.

You must be cold and tired, Lieutenant.

Some cognac?

I'd like that, Baron. Thank you. Sit
down.

Stefan?

Yes, Baron.

Cognac for our guest.

Yes, Baron.

Baron, I wonder if I might ask, who was
the young woman I saw in the window

before you came to the door?

Young woman?

Oh, I'm afraid you're mistaken.

No, I'm not mistaken. I saw her. Dark
hair and eyes, about 20.

Well, I'm quite sure you think you saw
someone, but... Baron, I am in full

possession of my faculties. Please.

Allow me to show you something.

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I
heard that old line.

You should never believe everything your
eyes tell you, young man.

Is that the girl you think you saw?

Yes, of course. Before you say anything
else, examine the portrait closely, the

signature, and above all, the date.

1786?

But that's 20 years ago.

It's incredible.

It's the same girl, and she hasn't
changed a bit.

She has been dead for 20 years.

With all respect, Baron, for a ghost,
she's a very active young woman.

You're speaking of the Baroness von
Lepp, my wife.

I beg your pardon, Baron. I meant no
offense.

Perhaps the resemblance was not quite as
much as I had thought.

The girl at the window... Lieutenant
Duvalier, the only occupants of this

are Stephan and myself.

You were the first visitor since the
turn of the century.

Of course, Baron.

Stephan will see you to your room. Thank
you.

Don't deter me now, darling.

Moving the cob will be right back.

Welcome back, darling.

I am Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and
the show, as you know, is Movie Macabre.

Now, we are just knee -deep in showing
the Roger Corman classic, The Terror.

Up until now, we've seen a whole lot of
mumbo -jumbo about some old broad in the

portrait who used to be married to
Boris.

And now Jack's chasing this spook all
over the place. But frankly, I don't

he stands a ghost of a chance.

So, if you're as riveted as I am, let's
get back to the action.

If you can call it that.

As Mughal Naqab continues and continues
and continues.

Oh, God.

I'm coming down. Wait for me.

Now you NRA members might notice that
the revolver that Jack's carrying in

won't be invented for another 33 years.

All

right,

unlock this door.

You hear me?

Unlock this door. I'm going to shoot
through the door.

I kept to the shadows, sir. He did not
see me.

He's a strange one, though.

He shows no fear.

Well, he must leave at once.

You think perhaps he's not merely a
traveler? Why do you say that?

He might have heard things in the
village.

Oh, nonsense. He's a soldier. He doesn't
listen to old wives' tales.

The important thing is that he leave
with all due speed.

I shall see to it, sir. But of his own
accord.

He must show him the respect his
position and rank demand.

I'll put that.

I understand, sir.

So, what, you would feed on it dead as
well as the living?

If I intrude, Stephan, I shall leave it
to my host to so inform me.

Why have you come to Castle Von Lepp?
What do you want here?

You seem to have things strangely
confused in your mind.

You're the servant, not I.

I'll ask the questions.

This was once a place of worship. Why
have the holy objects been removed?

The Baron ordered it.

When his wife, the Baroness Sosa, passed
away.

Then this became her tomb?

No, just the entrance to it.

The Van Lepp family crypt lies below,
beneath the cemetery.

She rests there with four centuries of
Van Lepps.

That's been sealed for 20 years.

Nonsense.

It must have been open last night. The
girl must have passed through here.

As the Baron told you, sir, there is no
girl. No girl.

Well, we shall see. Come with me to the
stable, Stephan. I wish to attend to my

horse. Wait a minute.

That's what I came to tell you.

Your horse is gone.

Apparently it bolted during the night.

Impossible. You're lying. Why?

No, sir, I'm not lying.

Hear me well, Stephan.

I'm sick of all of these lies.

First the old woman, then the Baron, and
now you. The old woman? You mean...

Never mind.

What about my horse?

I shall get you another one from the
village at once, sir.

Believe me, Lieutenant, I have no desire
to interfere with your departure from

this castle.

You seem very anxious to be rid of me.
Is it because you're afraid I might find

out about Eric?

Eric?

So there is an Eric.

That, at least, was not a lie.

Lieutenant, please, don't involve
yourself in these dead matters.

There is nothing here but an old man and
his decaying memories.

I beg of you, leave him in peace.

Will you join me, Lieutenant?

No, thank you, Baron.

I've just come from the stables. My
horse is gone.

Your horse is gone?

Yes, I believe it was stolen, Baron.

Oh, impossible, Dick.

The stable door, perhaps, was left open
and the animal bolted. Not an unusual

thing. In itself, no. But there are
certain other mysteries I would like to

explained, Baron, and I mean to have
them explained.

How dare you take that tone with me? I
don't mean to be abrupt, but I will have

answers.

Well?

Now, why did you remove the portrait of
the Baroness from the wall?

I sent it away for renovation. The
dampness of these walls puts a mold on

pigment. You evade very cleverly, Baron.
Can you also explain the violin music

and the girl in the chapel last night?
You saw her again. So you admit there's

girl? Ilsa. Ilsa, is that her name?
Answer me, Baron. Please, please leave

peace, Coulter. If I leave you now,
Baron, I will come back with a company

men and I will tear this place down
around your ears until I find her. Is

clear?

Very clear.

All right, now, what happened to the
Baroness? Was her death violent?

Yes, her death was violent. How did she
die?

You spare me nothing.

Twenty years ago, I was not the man
you're looking at now.

This land, this estate prospered. My
people lived well and were happy.

My wife had died some years before, and
I was lonely.

And one day in the village, I saw Ilsa.

A peasant girl who'd come to live there
with her mother. Oh, I could have taken

her.

Those nobles have taken the daughters of
peasants since the beginning of time.

But I loved her.

And she became the Baroness von Lepp.

Almost immediately afterwards, I was
called away for military service.

Rebellion in the Polish province.

I was gone for nearly a year. When the
fighting was over, I hurried home.

To my bride.

No one knew of my coming. I surprised
her in her room. She was not alone.

She laughed at me. Said her bed was not
for me to find another.

With my own hands.

I killed her.

And her lover?

Stefan took care of him.

Later I gave out a story that she had
died.

Some ballets. No one ever knew of her
betrayal of me or how, in fact, she did

die.

Except for Stefan.

Twenty years I've not set foot beyond
the walls of this castle.

I've lived here alone, but the memory of
the dreadful thing I did that night,

that is my balance.

And now you believe what?

That the ghost of Ilsa has come back to
relieve you of your penance, is that it?

Yes.

How long has the spirit been coming to
the castle?

It all began two years ago.

At first I was terrified, but now I'm
eager for our every meeting.

One more question, Baron.

Has anyone else except yourself seen the
spirit? Stephan, for instance.

You think I'm mad, don't you?

Right now, Baron, I'm not sure just what
I think.

Ah.

But don't forget, you saw her, too.

Perhaps we're both mad.

Oh, Boris.

I have been known to drive men stark
raving mad, but that's because I don't

a license, so when I drive it is kind of
crazy.

Stick around. There's more madness than
mayhem when Moving the Cobb returns.

Okay, so we're starting to put together
something that almost sounds like a

plot. Turns out the ghost was a bit of
an easy rider when she was alive, always

looking for a few good men.

And when the Baron caught her not being
in control of his anger management, he

ripped her into five easy pieces.

Now the departed is looking to get
revenge for those terms of endearment.

Phew, wow.

Boy, talk about a shining example of
giving someone a plug.

What do you think, Jack?

And I'm not sure just what I think.

Well, looks like you'll have to live
with it because it's as good as it gets.

I'm like, that was unbelievable.

Wow.

The name sounds strange to me here by
the sea.

It is your name.

Don't you remember?

My name is Elaine.

The old woman told me.

She lies.

She summoned me from the sea.

You must go back. Your soul is troubled,
Ilse. Go back?

To Eric?

To the sea.

Only when the sea enters the crypt.

We shall rest there together, he and I
beneath the sea.

It is an evil thing. You must not do it,
Elsa.

I must obey the old woman.

Frenchman, he can help you, Elsa.

Andre?

Old one calls.

She warns you, Gustav.

Do not interfere.

She's been patient with you long enough.

But no more.

Tetragrammaton. Tetragrammaton.

Metraton. Oh,

powers of darkness.

Let the spirit of Ilsa think deeper,
deeper into this mortal form.

Be as though you never were.

Spirit of Ilsa, please do this eye.

Eat through these lips.

Do my bidding.

For only then shall you find release
from your... I am bored. I am very,

very bored.

You are becoming stronger now.

Quite strong.

Soon you shall have the strength.

Carry out my vengeance.

Vengeance. And the dark powers will set
you free, for I have promised them a

richer price.

Good

afternoon.

Who are you?

An appropriate question, but I'm afraid
I'm the one who should be doing the

asking. I'm invited in, of course.

What do you want of me?

You realize that this is the property of
the Baron Victor von Lepp?

And that it's forbidden for any of the
villagers to set foot here?

Much less make it their home?

How long have you been living here?

Only two months.

Perhaps I should tell you.

You see, I've just come from
Kleinschmidt, where you are not totally

You've lived here slightly more than two
years.

Your name is Katerina, and you
originally come from Colburn, where you

quite unpopular because of certain
activities.

They call you Katerina, the heretic, the
witch.

They were fools.

Why do you live here? What do you want?

I haven't any money.

This was the only place that wasn't
burned to the ground, so I brought my

in here.

Where did you find the girl?

There is no girl.

I saw her.

She was sitting in this chair.

There is no girl. I know what she is.

Old woman, I know what she is.

Listen to me and listen to me very
carefully.

I don't know what you want, nor do I
fully understand your black abilities.

But if the two of you have not returned
to Coburn within one night, I shall come

back here and kill you with my own
hands.

And burned this place to the ground once
and for all.

And you know who once lived here all
those years ago?

You know who lived here?

Eric.

They added another character to this
story. Eric.

And this one isn't even played by an
actor in the actual movie.

I'm getting a brain cramp.

Well, darling.

Go grab a drink.

I know I will.

Back with more right after we pay the
bill.

Gosh, darling, I'd just love to give you
a recap about what's going on, but the

problem is I have no idea what's going
on.

I mean, there's something about Boris
killing some floozy and her Johnny and

then the ghost of the chick is haunting
him, but the old broad in the woods

knows something about Eric and that guy
that was hooking up with Elsa the ghost.

Phew! There.

That ought to give you all you need
to...

Enjoy the rest of the movie.

Or not.

Is the Frenchman gone?

No. Why not?

He now refuses to leave.

I don't think he will leave of his own
accord.

He must.

I gave you definite orders.

Baron, no one knows this officer is
here. If he should never arrive in

Copeland... Are you suggesting that...
It's the only way.

That I will never confidence.

God knows I have enough upon my
conscience without the senseless murder

young man who never harmed me. How do
you know what harm he plans?

You want him wandering around the
castle? Do you want him down in the

Enough. The crypt is no concern of
yours.

Andre.

Andre, help me.

Andre.

Come to me.

Come to me, Andre.

I need you.

Where are you?

I'm weird.

Oh.

There's one way.

What is the meaning of this intrusion?

I'm sorry, Baron. I thought I heard
voices.

Does that give you the right to burst
into my room unannounced?

I beg your pardon, Baron.

Stefan has gone to the village to get
you another horse.

It will save us both embarrassment if he
will leave the moment he returns.

There can be no doubt of it, sir.

You're doing the best thing, Lieutenant.

The Baron often does things which may
seem strange to you and me, but the

of the Baroness was a severe shock to
him.

One from which I fear he has never fully
recovered.

I understand completely, Stefan.

Tell me something, Stefan.

If I can.

Who is Eric?

You recall the Baron spoke of returning
from the war and finding the Baroness

with another?

Yes.

Eric was that other.

Wait!

You've got a little something in your
eye there.

Good stuff.

She's seen you.

She loves you.

You must.

I've waited for you so long.

I've been searching for you. To help
you. But you wander in strange places at

strange hours.

You're really here.

Of course I'm here.

And I'll never leave you again.

Never.

When the night comes...

I get cold.

Uh, yeah, you might want to cover up.
It's a bit nippy out.

I don't like the night.

I want to be free of it.

You are free.

Only in here.

In this holy place.

No.

Everywhere with me.

You must come away with me now.

No, I can't.

Not until... Until what?

The crypt.

It must be destroyed.

And with it, the dead.

Don't speak of the dead anymore. You're
with me now.

I am possessed of the dead.

You're a warm, living woman. Who has
told you these things?

The dead.

In Paris.

They're doing wonderful things to
discover the nature of the mind.

I'll take you there.

There are doctors who can free you from
this. From the dead?

The dead cannot reach out from the
grave.

You must come away with me now.

No.

I'm afraid.

The night.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Love me and there is no fear.

I do love you.

Wait with me.

Wait here.

Lightning. Oh, scary.

Right, that's the scariest thing that's
happened in this movie and we're almost

an hour in.

Okay, don't go anywhere, darling.

I have a feeling it's going to start
getting really good.

Yeah, definitely really, really good.

Okay, so maybe not, but hey, I mean, you
made it this far, so at least stick

around and see how it ends.

Welcome back to Movie Macabre, darling.
Or as I like

to call it, rant.

It's me, the haunted honey who works
hard for the money, Elvira. And we're in

the homestretch of the Roger Corman
classic, The Terror.

Boy, we are getting real liberal with
what we call a classic nowadays, aren't

we?

Elsa, my love, you are not alone.

I am here with you now.

Soon I will join you in eternal sleep.

Stefan will flood the crypt and seal us
here together with our

love.

Elsa!

Elsa!

Why do you not talk to me?

I am here, Victor.

I've been waiting for you.

My love.

My love.

You know what you must do.

Anything I will do that that I dare not,
do not ask me, I beg of you. You must,

or we can never be together.

No, no, I cannot, I dare not.

Look at me, Victor.

Elsa.

Why do you torment me so?

You must do it, Victor.

Only then can we be together.

Only then, Victor.

I cannot.

I dare not.

My soul will be damned to eternal
perdition.

Let me see who you really are.

No! Don't go back! You must not! No!

Let me go!

What kind of a woman are you?

Who are you?

I'm the chick who got stuck watching
this crap.

Is there a doctor in the village?

His illness is not of the flesh.

I've seen this before and a day or two
his mind will return.

We can only wait.

The Baron tells me you've been with him
since the Polish campaign.

That is true.

Then you must have been in this castle
for 20 years.

You must know every section of the
estate.

He's regaining consciousness.

No.

He often moans during these seizures.

You have keys Fetch them, I'd like to
see the chapel The chapel?

Yes, if you don't mind

My hinges are rusted solid.

Do you have a crowbar?

Yes, come with me.

What? Where are you going?

You can't leave now. I mean, they're
going to get a crowbar.

You know, nothing says terror like a
crowbar.

Wait, wait, darling, don't go away.
We're coming into the home stretch, and

will be rewarded for your patience.

Oh, yes, you will.

Okay, not really, but you're not a
quitter, are you?

Big baby.

Hello, darling. It is I, Elvira,
Mistress of the Dark. And guess what?

it! We're almost at the end of this
marathon of monotony.

You have endured one twist after
another.

That's it. This movie had two twists.

And now, the shocking conclusion of The
Terror.

So, Stefan and Jack went to get what? A
crowbar?

What is it? That light there.

That's the Baroness's bedroom in the
tower.

The room's been sealed ever since that
night.

Not even the Baron would enter.

Come with me.

Where's the key?

Only the Baron has the key to this lock.

Lieutenant, don't!

The Baron should find out we've entered
this room.

Baroness have a child?

I don't know. I never thought she did.

You spare me nothing.

Baron, if you'll permit me, I think that
I can explain. Stephanie. Forgive me,

Baron. I only have one.

Take this gun.

Escort this gentleman from the castle.

If he resists, kill him.

Yes, Baron.

Lieutenant.

My love.

My love.

weary, and my soul cries out for relief.

There is but one way, Victor.

No, no.

The holy covenants of God forbid it.

You will be forgiven.

I'll be sure.

Take your life as you took mine.

Let your own hand destroy you and bring
us together forever.

Forever. No more torment, Victor.

Forever.

Forever.

I will, Phelps.

I will.

I promise you, Lieutenant, if you return
to Von Lepp Castle, I shall not

hesitate to kill you.

Where is she? Let me be.

Why did you lie to me about the girl?

Call it off.

Doesn't matter now.

You're too late.

Tonight he damns himself.

Yes, even now she taunts him to his own
eternal doom.

You control the girl just as you control
that bird.

How?

Mesmerism? Mesmerism, you fool.

Why?

Answer me, old woman, or I'll break your
neck.

To avenge myself on the Baron von Lepp.

She will drive him to God's one
unpardonable sin.

Suicide. For what offense? What has the
Baron done to you?

He killed my son, Eric.

Eric was your son?

Yes.

And tonight the Baron pays for Eric's
life with his own immortal soul.

She spoke of destroying the crypt.

Too late. Too late.

You must have done something.

Where's the Baron?

We must get to him. He's locked himself
in the crypt.

Eric is avenged. Eric avenged?

She's used the girl as a puppet to drive
the Baron to suicide.

But why?

She thinks it was the Baron that killed
her son. She never knew it was you.

What do you mean?

He killed my Eric.

Eric is her son?

You murderer!

No, wait!

Don't you see now it was all a lie?

The Baron did return that night to find
Eric with the Baroness, and he did kill

her. But there was a struggle, and in
the fight it was not Eric who died, but

the Baron.

I killed the Baron.

Then Eric is still alive?

He took the Baron's place, and for 20
years no one has known.

But he took the Baron's place in mind as
well as body. In his mind, he is the

Baron Von Lett.

Okay, so let me get this straight. So
Boris was like 90 when he made this

Is the old hag's son?

What?

Flood the cellars how there's a tunnel
that leads from the sea to the crypt

with me

Locked

it

from the inside

You keep on here. I'll try and get in
through the chapel.

I may need you.

No, no, not the chapel.

I may not enter the house of God. I have
made my pact with another.

No! No! No, Rosa! No!

Mmm,

barbecued hag. My favorite.

I am here, my love.

This time forever.

Now, Victor.

Now.

Now, Victor, bring the sea into the
crypt to mantle us forever.

We will be together again, Victor.

Together with our love here beneath the
sea.

Come to me, my love.

Draw the veil.

Look at me.

Don't see how eagerly I await your
embrace.

What have

you done to me?

I have damned you as you damned me.

The part of me that loved you lies
there, Victor, rotting in the coffin.

Look at it.

See what your evil love has done to me
and die with that vision in your brain.

Why have you done this to me?

I am the spirit of Ilsa that your unholy
sin gave over to the dark powers.

But now, by giving your immortal soul to
them, I will be free, Eric.

Ha ha.

You're safe now.

It's over.

It's over, do you understand?

You're free now.

Free?

What? What? What the?

You're safe now.

It's over.

Whew! Damn, Jack.

That movie was almost as bad as Walt.

What? What is it?

Morning Mouth?

They're all minty fresh.

Boy, if you would have told me that that
guy who played the French lieutenant

with the worst French accent ever would
go on to win three Oscars, I'd have

smacked you.

Well, I'd smack you anyway, but you'd
probably like it too much.

And Boris, you should be ashamed of
yourself, you senile, crazy old geezer.

mean, will you do anything for a
paycheck?

Why do you torment me so?

Because this movie sucked.

I wouldn't be caught dead in this
picture. I mean, nothing on earth could

me be in a Roger Corman movie.

Alvarez has the pain. Please hold while
I connect you.

Yeah, what do you want? I'm right in the
middle of... Really?

Oh, my God.

Really? Really?

Of course I will.

Thank you ever so... Oh, my God.

That was Roger.

Can you believe it? I mean, he wants to
make a sequel to this, and I am to play

this stunning young ingenue.

What do you say to that, handsome?

Oh, holy...

Covenants of God forbid it.

I'll take that as a yes. What about you,
Jack? You and me and a couple of hot,

steamy love scenes?

I like to rehearse.

A lot.

I feel the same way.

They like me. They really, really like
me.

Well, I guess I better get going. I
gotta start working on that acceptance

speech. Until next time, darling.

Unpleasant dream.