Original subtitles

Wow.

Human Christmas is so different

from Transylvania's winter solstice.

There are no toes in your mistletoe.

Silly us.

Come on, it's Secret Santa time.

Now, remember, the most important rule

-is to keep-- -Is to keep your person a secret

until the big gift exchange.

Relax, Sophie. I'm a grade-A secret keeper.

I found out you're a vampire within two days of knowing you.

Okay. C-plus.

-Over here. -Vee, Sophie.

-Who invited Britney to Secret Santa? -I did.

This is my first human Christmas, and I wanna do it right.

Isn't the holiday spirit about including everyone?

Even your frenemies?

Yeah, I guess.

I'll try and have goodwill toward men

and divas.

-Hey, guys. Ready for secret Santa? -Mmm-hmm.

Do we have to draw a name?

I've already given you the gift of my attendance.

[note playing]

[in sing-song voice]

♪ My presence is the present ♪

[chuckles] Whoa, Britney, your pitch pipe's had a glow-up. Can I see?

[in normal voice] Careful. That's my lucky Christmas pitch pipe.

I've landed the lead in every holiday show, thanks to it.

I got it from my third cousin, Mariah Carey.

Queen of Christmas.

Heard of her?

My third cousin is Marie-Antoinette. Actual queen.

Heard of her?

Okay. If we're done dropping names,

let's get to drawing them.

[♪ electronic song playing]

♪ It's a merry,

merry Christmas ♪

♪ Got the money in the bank

and the gifts nice ♪

♪ I take care

of my whole family ♪

♪ We're related

so we're about to celebrate ♪

Season's greetings from your favorite Spotlights.

Is that Dean Merriweather?

Yes, your dean can still bust a move.

-[bones cracking] -And a hip.

Well, Dean Merriweather isn't just a Wilson Hall alum,

she was a Spotlight, too.

-Once a sister, always a sister. -[chuckles] That's right.

[girls gasp]

[coughs]

They answered my question,

but now I have more.

Dean announcement.

Our annual holiday pageant for the town is this Friday,

and, as usual,

due to so many talented performers at Wilson Hall,

our first-years will perform the iconic role of stagehands.

What? But what about exceptional first-year Spotlights

like me?

Sorry, sis. Maybe next year.

Gatekeepers gotta gatekeep.

And remember, dear, there are no small parts, only small actors.

And even smaller extracurricular budgets.

-[♪ song continues] -Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay, we going now. We going now.

We going. Whoo!

[♪ theme song playing]

[singing] ♪ Slay!

S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Stepping out

into the light ♪

♪ I have never felt so alive ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Watch me shine,

shine, shine ♪

♪ Slay! ♪

Hey, Dems. You said you needed help with your Secret Santa gift?

Yes. Uh, I know I can't tell you who it is,

but, eh, she's a deejay.

She lives with Vee, and her name rhymes

with... Sophie.

[sarcastically] Wow. I think I might know who you're talking about.

Whoa. What's the problem?

Well, we both picked each other's names,

and I need to get her a great gift

because three months ago I mentioned that I wanted these

and she remembered.

[Elijah] Uh... oh, okay.

Demi, I mean, that's breaking the rules of Secret Santa,

and, like, common courtesy.

What is it?

Cargo pants.

Sorry, did you say cargo pants?

Elijah, they're utility and beauty woven together

in one garment.

Each pocket a possibility.

Cargo pants aren't just a gift,

they're a way of life.

Uh, fine, I'll help you.

But first, we gotta get you out of this attic and touch some grass.

Let's go.

[Megan] All right, reindeer.

-[♪ pop music playing on stereo] -Five, six, seven, eight.

-[thudding] -[♪ music stops]

You call that trotting?

Okay, you can't pull Santa's sleigh

if you're not slay-ing.

Guys, listen, I'm Britney's Secret Santa and--

Vee, Secret Santa.

It's in the name.

Right. And I secretly have the best idea for Britney's gift.

Watch me work some holiday magic.

Greetings of the darkest season, Megan.

I have a request.

I got Britney for Secret Santa--

Girl, it's supposed to be a secret.

[sighs] And I'd be forever grateful

if you would let her join your pageant finale.

After all, she is a Spotlight.

And isn't this time of year about doing nice things for others?

Ew.

Bah, humbug.

Okay. Then, isn't this time of year

about cashing-in brownie points

so you can get nice gifts from Santa?

Hmm.

I have been pretty naughty this year.

Britney, get over here.

Yes, Megan?

Prove you can pick up the background choreo,

and you can be in the finale.

-Really? -Yes.

Hurry up and get ready.

Oh. [chuckles] You don't have to get ready when you are...

[note playing]

[in sing-song voice]

♪ ...born ready ♪

[in normal voice, kisses] Thank you, lucky pitch pipe.

I knew you'd come through.

Thank you, Megan.

I didn't do it for you.

I did it for Santa.

[beeps]

Frosty to Rudolph.

My Secret Santa mission is working. Over.

Rudolph to Frosty. It's a Christmas miracle. Over.

You guys are, like, two feet apart from each other.

-Five, six, seven, eight. -[♪ pop music playing on stereo]

[gasps] No Dasher, no Dancer, no Prancer, no Vixen.

My pitch pipe.

It's ruined.

Britney, what's the matter with you?

Nothing. I just, uh...

[sighs]

I need a minute.

[sighs]

This Secret Santa stuff is a lot of work.

Hey, Britney.

-So, should we get back on the sleigh? -No.

I can't do the performance without my lucky pitch pipe.

Once I lost it before my third grade holiday concert,

and I threw up on stage.

Jingle Bells, Britney Smells!

[breathing heavily]

Well, at least you're not being dramatic about it.

Why don't we just do a little warm up

to prove you're ready to get back out there?

[vocalizes]

♪ Do ♪

[exhales]

[sings out of pitch] ♪ Do ♪

[breathing heavily]

[sobbing]

Rudolph, red nose alert.

Diva down.

I repeat, diva is down.

[breathing heavily]

There, there, little diva.

[Megan] Where's Britney?

Bats!

Come on. Being in the performance

was supposed to be your gift from me.

I'm your Secret Santa.

You're supposed to keep that a secret.

Now that's been taken from me too.

Where will it end?

[crying]

[Megan] Britney, get back here!

-[sighs] -[sniffling]

You've left me no choice.

Britney, look at me.

[♪ spooky music playing]

You will get on stage and perform

with the confidence of the star you are.

Yes, I'm a star.

You got this, Britney!

[Megan] Five, six, seven, eight.

[♪ pop music playing on stereo]

How did you fix her so fast?

You know, just a little mind control.

Ah, yes, that always works out well for you.

Uh, what is she doing?

Uh...

being the star she is?

-[♪ music stops] -Give me my candy came back!

[creaking and crashing]

Oh, man.

I just decked those halls.

What in the jingle bell is going on out here?

Britney went reindeer-rogue.

Whoa.

What just happened?

Dean, allow me to explain--

Oh, the pageant is in 24 hours,

and now we're walking in a winter wonder dump.

Britney, I need you to stay off the stage

for the sake of the show

and the insurance policy that I did not pay for.

Yes!

Santa, I tried.

[Spotlights] Thank you, Sister Dean.

[girls gasp]

Y'all are at a ten, and I need you at a two.

[gasps]

Maybe it's time to just get Britney a gift card to Dunkin' Divas.

I can't give up.

Not on Britney and not on Christmas.

I have to get her back into that pageant.

But we may need to bring in some professional help.

-Santa? -No.

You want toys or you want solutions?

I'm talking about Krampus.

Who's Krampus?

You have Santa.

We have a delightful monster from the South Pole

who answers vampires' solstice requests.

Cute.

Dearest Krampus,

I hope the solstice has cursed you

with many earthworms under your pillow.

I need your help.

You see, I'm Britney's Secret Santa--

Is it secret, Vee? Is it?

I can't believe Sophie wouldn't spill

one thing she wants for Christmas

except world peace.

I know. Like we have time for that.

I've no choice but to go to the hereafter

and ask her grandma what to get her.

Hold my hat.

Uh, Demi, Demi, Demi.

Sophie's grandma is still alive.

We can just call her.

Oh, sure, let's do it the boring way.

[♪ electronic music playing]

Springfield Senior Living,

let me hear you make some noise.

-[phone ringing] -Go, go, go, go!

[phone dings]

Hi, boys.

DJ Blue Hair?

You look just like Sophie.

You mean she looks

just like me.

What can I do for you kids?

We need help coming up with a Secret Santa gift for Sophie.

She's always so good at giving gifts.

Because she listens.

I remember the Christmas

when she was eight.

Or was she nine? Anyhoo.

This is a really interesting story, Ms. Blue Hair, but we're in a rush.

Do you want to get her

something special

or a meaningless

trash present?

Uh, the first one?

Then stop interrupting

and listen.

[both] Yes, DJ ma'am.

Enjoy the show.

[Vee] Britney, I'm really sorry you got stuck here.

Let me help you.

My mother always says,

"A bloody burden halved is a bloody burden shared."

Is your mother well?

SOS. SOS.

SOS. Have you seen the performers?

Not since my stage career got run over by a reindeer.

Oh. Well, everyone left to do a pre-show warm up,

but no one has returned.

[groans] Send the townfolk home.

Turn off the lights. It's over.

Christmas is canceled.

Well, at least you're not being dramatic about it.

You know, the first-years could stall the crowd until the performers get back.

And if it comes to it, Britney knows The Spotlights' big finale.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

You get those first-years on that stage,

and Britney, you're getting a second chance.

Christmas is saved! Ho-ho-ho to everyone.

Hey, Britney, you okay?

No, I am not okay.

This is gonna be Jingle Bells, Britney Smells Two,

the Final Chunks.

[sighs]

You don't need your pitch pipe.

Look, you can do this.

The Britney I know is confident enough

to challenge... Sabrina Carpenter to a sing off.

She did,

and she won.

I guess I can try.

But keep this handy.

[Merriweather] Places, people.

Places, everyone!

Uh, go dance or something.

Go! Go!

The show is starting. Are you coming?

We have a visitor.

-[♪ spooky music] -[Krampus growling softly]

Krampus?

Bats! He must have read my letter.

To get Britney in the show, he got the other performers out.

I knew he wasn't delightful.

What's he gonna do to them?

Nothing if he had a big lunch.

I better go.

Here.

Take Britney's bucket.

Why do I need this?

Vee?

Why do I need this?

[♪ ominous music playing]

Krampus?

Megan?

Any chance you're in there?

[gasps] You were in here.

Oh!

Rude. Krampus raided my solstice Advent calendar.

Aw. But he did leave some earthworms.

♪ Singing carols

by the fireside ♪

♪ All my friends

are by my side ♪

♪ Hanging up the mistletoe ♪

[both] ♪ This is Christmas ♪

♪ Putting lights up

on the tree ♪

♪ Nowhere else I'd wanna be ♪

♪ Make a wish

on a winter star ♪

[both]

♪ This is Christmas time ♪

[vocalizing]

-♪ Yes, it's Christmas time ♪

-♪ Oh, oh, oh, yeah ♪

♪ It's Christmas time ♪

[cheering and applauding]

[♪ spooky music playing]

[Krampus growling in distance]

♪ I'm waiting

for the snow to fall ♪

♪ Stockings filled with care ♪

♪ On the rooftops

do you hear? ♪

♪ Sleigh bells everywhere ♪

♪ The lights are twinkling

all a-glow ♪

♪ Family gather near ♪

♪ The children's chorus

fills the air ♪

♪ Christmas is finally here ♪

♪ Christmas is finally here ♪

[audience cheering and applauding]

Help!

Help!

[panting] All this screaming

is taking a toll on my instrument.

[gasps] Oh, there you are.

[panting] We tried calling, but there's no service.

Someone locked us in here.

We couldn't see who it was,

but they smelled like nightmares

and rancid wagyu.

Hold on a second. I'm gonna get you out.

[rattles]

[whirring]

[clinking]

[Megan breathing heavily]

-[laughs] -Thank you!

Of course.

Everyone deserves to have a good Christmas.

They really do.

Now let go off me.

To the show!

-[♪ electronic song playing]

-♪ It's a merry,

merry Christmas ♪

♪ Got the money in the bank

and the gifts nice ♪

-Finale time. Britney, you're on. -No!

I mean, they look restless out there.

We should have, um...

a pre-finale intermission.

[laughs sarcastically]

[softly] Get out there!

[♪ pop music playing on speakers]

[audience speaking indistinctly]

Oh, no, she's panicking.

[in a broken voice] This is a ho-ho-horror show.

I can't sing,

and apparently neither can she.

Yes, she can.

You got this.

Do you wanna do it together?

[♪ pop music playing on speakers]

♪ Well, we finally got

a moment, yeah,

front and center ♪

♪ Let us set the stage ♪

♪ The lights are all glowing ♪

♪ It's the best of winter

Love this holiday ♪

♪ Girl, we're gonna own it ♪

♪ Girl, we're gonna show 'em ♪

♪ Come on and take it away ♪

♪ Let me, let me

let me hear it ♪

♪ We got the spirit ♪

♪ A Christmas tree

we're doing it right ♪

♪ Singing, singing

singing higher ♪

♪ Bringing the fire ♪

♪ Turning up

the magic so bright ♪

[both] ♪ Take it from

your Christmas queens ♪

♪ Living our December dreams ♪

♪ Every star is meant

to shine on Christmas ♪

♪ Well, now we've got

each other here to celebrate ♪

♪ Let's make that wish

come true ♪

- [vocalizing]

-♪ There's sparkle

in our stockings ♪

-♪ Tinsel that we're rocking ♪

-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ The real gift is you ♪

♪ Girl, we're gonna own it ♪

-♪ Girl, we're gonna

show 'em ♪

-♪ We're gonna show 'em ♪

-♪ Come on and take it away ♪

-♪ Come on and take it away ♪

-♪ Let me, let me

let me hear it ♪

-♪ Ooh ♪

-♪ We got the spirit ♪

-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

-♪ A Christmas tree

we're doing it right ♪

-♪ Doing it right ♪

-♪ Singing, singing

singing higher ♪

-♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

-♪ Bringing the fire ♪

-♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

-♪ Turning up

the magic so bright ♪

-♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

[both] ♪ Take it from your

Christmas queens ♪

♪ Living our December dreams ♪

[Vee] ♪ Every star is meant

to shine on... ♪

♪ Every star is meant

to shine on... ♪

[both] ♪ Every star is meant

to shine on Christmas ♪

[audience cheering and applauding]

Thanks again for performing with me,

-not-so-Secret Santa. -[giggles]

But you're right.

I don't need a lucky Christmas pitch pipe

to bring the gingerbread house down.

I'm enough.

Well, then I guess you don't need the other gift I have for you.

You fixed my pitch pipe?

-[chuckles] -Gimme!

I was nothing without you.

Cargos?

You shouldn't have.

You peeked, didn't you?

Yes, I did. And I've already worn them.

Well...

[giggles]

Voila!

[gasps] My favorite dessert.

Thank you, Demi. How'd you know?

Elijah and I called your grandma.

And after five hours of listening to Sophie stories,

we kept hearing about one thing you loved no matter what.

[both] Rainbow rice cake.

We also heard that you needed extra absorbent diapers as a baby,

and that you pretended to be a cat for an entire summer.

[giggles]

It was theater camp, and I was in character.

Me next.

Oh, Brit, you're my Secret Santa?

Uh, an autographed headshot of yourself.

[laughs] Just what I wanted.

[note playing]

[in sing-song voice]

♪ Don't sell it online...

yet ♪

Oh. Last but not least, this is for you.

You were my Secret Santa?

Why didn't you tell me?

That's 'cause you're not supposed to...

Never mind.

-Aw. -There's a bunch of pages left to fill,

since you and I are making our own history now.

[Vee] Aw.

This is the best Secret Santa gift I've ever gotten.

Well...

it's the only Secret Santa gift you've ever gotten,

but I'll take it.

[chuckles]

Thanks, everyone, for making my Christmas perfect.

It was even better than I ever imagined,

because I never imagined it with all of you.

[chuckles]

Merry solstice, Krampus.

Guys, come on, look.

Oh, my goblins.

[all speaking indistinctly]

[Vee] Oh, my God! Look at this...

[continues indistinctly]

[♪ closing theme music playing]