All language subtitles for There Was a Crooked Man (1960) REMUX.eng

You are looking at England's newest town

Today marks its first anniversary

Renowned not only for its architectural beauty

its inhabitants claim that they are better housed

healthier, and happier

than any other people on the face of the globe

Today they pay tribute to the man who is responsible

for this unique, social phenomenon

In the town's spacious central square

a statue is being unveiled to its founder and benefactor

Mr. Mayor, distinguished councillors

ladies and gentlemen

On this historic occasion, we are doubly blessed

not only by this magnificent statue

that is here to grace your square

but also by the presence of the man himself

Let us then give thanks that he is with us here today

No my friends, not by cheers but by giving thought

Let us think of the great moral lesson

we can learn from this man's life

I was privileged to know him long before

he came to your town

I knew him in less happy circumstances

for he, for he

For he is a man

who has known hardship and suffering in the past

Orphaned in his youth, cast adrift

in a harsh world

To make his way at a young age

when most youngsters are still at their school desks

Davy Cooper met the challenge of life resolutely

and unflinchingly

Come back with me through the years

to a cold winter's night

when the tide of Davy Cooper's fortune

had reached a low ebb

Just a minute boy

Thank you very much

Number six, Drive Court

There you are

No, you were here first

No it's yours.
No it's your taxi

But
I insist

Go on, in you go

There, sir

- I don't want one
- Go on driver

Where to, mate?

This'll do here

One and four pence

you only moved a couple of yards

One and four pence

I've only got threepence

Let's have it then

Now where's that other shilling?

You free?

When I'm finished with this layabout, gov

I haven't seen you since

Where is the other shilling?

Hey are you in a spot of trouble?

He wants to charge me and I didn't move

I'll look after it

Tripoli, that's where it was

Tripoli

17th Caledonians, wasn't it?

those were the days, hey Davy?

Well how you been, boy?

Things are a bit slow

Looks like you're doing all right

I can't complain

Wait a minute

What sort of a job you doing?

Varies, bit of this, bit of that, you know

And you?

Aw, chin up Davy

You never know what'll happen tomorrow

Hey, hop in, I'll give you a lift

Ready for your second helping, dear?

I've finished this one

Take your time

Do you like it?

You work late, don't you?

Mostly nights

So seeing as how the Dutchman here is incapacitated

I'd reckon that Davy's experience in this particular field

might be of some use

Indeed, a most fortunate encounter

He's flat broke, governor

Ready for anything

You'll do anything, won't you Davy boy?

That's what you said, didn't ya?

let's hope

he's a little more expert with explosives

than old butterfingers here

Anyone can make a mistake

Mr. Cooper, if you could spare a moment, please

I quite understand

You sure you don't mind?

Not a bit

Only 'cause it's a pity to waste good food

Dan here tells me you were with the commandos

Quite an expert at blowing things up

What sort of things?

All sorts

Submarine depots, ammunition dumps, bridges

People

Any references?

Excellent, excellent

there's no doubt you're highly qualified

Of course, in our profession

a particularly delicate touch is required

Just need a chance that's all

I'll show you what I can do

And you're fully aware the nature

of the services we require of you?

Now don't you worry about me, governor

I can blow anything up

You just name it

Right, let's get down to business, shall we?

We'll be more comfortable in here, Mr. Cooper

Or may I call you Davy?

It's a pleasure

There's the intel of the building

that's the extel of the building

But I think you'll get a clearer picture

of the layout from this ground plan here

I like working from a blueprint

Evenin

Excellent, so do I

It avoids the possibility of error

We don't wanna blow up the place next door, do we?

Have the police after us

What?

The police

Who's got a nice sense of humour

But we have work to do

Now there's Bond Street, Conduit Street, right?

That's the rear alley

and that's a corridor leading to the showroom there

that's the door to the manager's office

Desk, filing cabinet, and there in the corner, is the safe

it's a Burlington safe manufactured in 1947

with a triple tumbler combination lock

Safe

You're crooks

You want me to join a bunch of crooks

What did you think you were joining?

The boy scouts?

Didn't you explain it to him?

not exactly, governor, but he said he'd do anything

You said you'd do anything

Providing it's honest

I'm not turning crook for anyone

What do you think you're doing?

Dialling 999, that is what

What you waiting for?

There's no charge

My friend, eh?

Dan, put that thing away

Davy, why're you so upset?

You're trying to make a crook outta me

and you're asking me why I'm upset

A crook, me?

Now what's wrong with being a crook?

What's wrong?

It's just wrong

You're taking things that don't belong to you

And what harm does that do?

What about the poor jeweller you're planning to rob?

We're doing him a good turn

He'll collect the insurance and make himself a stack

What about the poor insurance company then?

Did you ever hear of a poor insurance company?

Of course not

They're always boasting of their assets aren't they?

A little wonder

They've been collecting premiums for years

It's time they paid up for a change

It's not right

Davy, listen

Davy, I want you to think of that young policeman

that's going to answer that call if you make it

Now, he's probably married and got two kids, right?

But if it weren't for crime

he'd be out of work, wouldn't he?

And thousands more like him.

Do you realise there are 40,000 policeman in London alone?

- But I
- Do you

want to see them all starving?

And what about the solicitors, barristers

judges, hundreds and hundreds of them

what about them?

they wouldn't be needed

if it wasn't for crime

And the prisons

No warders, no probation officers

I tell you Davy boy, if it weren't for a small

almost insignificant handful of crooks

there'd be mass unemployment, demonstrations

Why, they'd be marching on Downing Street with placards

saying bring back crime, England needs crooks

I never thought of it that way before

then it's time you did, isn't it?

Seems like it

Davy, my boy

I predict a great future for you

if you'll throw your lot in with us

Now, I've always had brilliant plans

but what I've needed is somebody with your skill

to execute them

Now look, I don't want to put any undo pressure on you

but you must admit you do know a little too much about us

However, the decision is up to you

But I'd be very grateful if you'd make up your mind

as quickly as possible, please

because we've got to be at this

particular little job of ours by 9:30 this evening

Now, what's it going to be?

The police and a rather sticky end

to what might have been a very profitable career, or?

At the first stroke, it will be 8:47 precisely

At the third stroke, it will be 8:47

Better synchronise your watches hadn't you?

And yours?

Haven't got one

You will have

It's a jewellers

The time has come, gentlemen

to put into operation our most ambitious plan so far

At the risk of sounding immodest

I must say the daring and ingenuity of this plan

staggers the imagination

When I first conceived it

I believed it was impossible to carry out successfully

However I'm the kind of man who finds the impossible

an irresistible challenge

Hear, hear

And since our friend Davy here joined us

Do you mind?

Since Davy joined our organisation

I have become convinced

that the extremely difficult problems involved

in executing this plan can be solved

thanks to his skill

And the operation will net us a clear profit

of 200,000 pounds

I'm rich

I'm rich

We'll all be rich

I don't mean that

I won a third dividend

Four pound eight and nine pence per tuppence

Four pound eight and nine pence

There's 200,000 pounds involved here

But this is honest

I got it the hard way

you wouldn't understand

All right, I'm with ya

I have broken down the overall plan

into minute detail

Davy would you be good enough to elaborate

that is if I'm not putting you to too much trouble, old boy

Certainly, old boy

In fact, I deem it a privilege

Now then, gentlemen

if you would be so good as to turn

in order that you may observe the screen here

Flash

Now this is

Adolf

Gentleman, our objective

the National Merchandising Bank Limited

Now, next to the bank, thank you

next to the bank is St. Michael's Hospital

Now of course, your problem's always been

how to get into the bank vault undetected

Simple

Now sister, I'm expecting an emergency

That must be it now

Operating theatre B immediately.

I don't seem to have any record of

What do records matter when a man's life is at stake?

Operating theatre B immediately

Do you understand, sister?

Yes sir, I'm sorry, sir

Psst

How dare you come in here, sister

Don't you know we're all sterile?

I'm very sorry, sir, I didn't realise

There was

I'm sorry, sir, but theatre B is in use

Well it's an emergency of some kind

No, no, I don't know who the surgeon is

I don't seem to have a record of it

I'll look into it at once

Porter's desk here

Casualty sister speaking

Will you call the police at once?

There's something very strange going on in theatre B

Metropolitan Police

St. Michael's Hospital, suspicious persons reported

operating theatre B

Very good, sir

We shall never be able to spend all this lot

I think I'm going to be ill

Take me to hospital, will you?

Morning, Mr. Green

Now what do you think you're doing?

The governor's garden

It's Tuesday

You know, digging

And how many times do I have to tell you

you're supposed to wait until I come and let you out?

But it's gone nine o'clock

I'm late

I overslept

That's no excuse

Look, we can't have prisoners

letting themselves out of their cells

I didn't want to trouble you, Mr. Green

It's no trouble, it's my job

I've got to protect myself

Suppose you took it into your head to escape

Mr. Green now don't be daft

I've been here for five years

I don't want to escape

I wouldn't put that there

But you can't go wandering in and out of your cell

as if you were at home

But this is my home

This is the only real home I've ever known, Mr. Green

But you've got to follow regulations

Now, go on

Get back in your cell

what about the governor's garden?

Look

You get back in and I'll let you out

Can I come out now?

Shut the door properly

Isn't it marvellous

Now ask permission according to regulations

Prisoner 3-7-0-99-35 request permission to leave

for special duties in the governor's garden

Permission granted

What are you doing?

I can't get it open

of course not

It's bolted on the inside

It's what?

Bolted

Put it on last week

I've got to have a bit of privacy, ain't I?

Red tape

Morning, Fred

Hi Bert

There he is, Padre

The governor wants to see him

He gets out next week, doesn't he?

Yes, but, he doesn't know it yet

I'm just about to tell him

This is one of the very few gratifying moments in my work

Enjoying yourself?

this is the life

Aren't they lovely?

God's works are wonderful

I beg your pardon, sir

I did these

Report to the governor as soon as the chaplain

is finished with you

Governor?

What do I want to see the governor for?

I've got no complaints

But don't you find prison a punishment?

No, it's peaceful and cosy

Decent lot of fellas

No worries, no responsibilities

It's like being retired

You really do like it here, don't you, Davy?

You'll excuse me saying this to you, sir, but

heaven must be like this

I should have thought it was more like the other place

You're joking

Yes, of course

Hardly a subject to joke about, sir

Davy, what are you going to do

when you take your discharge?

that's a long way off yet, sir

You ought to be thinking of it

I try not to, sir

But you have to face up to it

Break clean away from the life you've been living outside

and go straight

don't worry about me, sir

I've learned my lesson

Straight and narrow's the only way

You mark my words

yes, yes, I quite agree

And I'm so glad you feel that way because

I've arranged a job for you when you leave here

that's very kind of you, sir

but well, we can talk about then when the time comes, eh?

The time has come

Congratulations my dear fellow

You've got 24 months remission

For good conduct

They're not going to put me out of here?

Now, you better run along and see the governor

But they can't do this to me

What do you mean?

I'm gettin' on marvellous here

My little garden's coming on fine

And if I go

who's going to give out the hymn sheets in chapel?

The books in the library?

I can't go

- My dear man, don't be silly
- I'm not going

They can forget it

But everybody wants to get out of prison

Not me

The judge gave me seven years

I can have seven years

With all do respect to you, sir

I've got my rights

I'm a citizen

Call this British justice

But that's just what you're getting, don't you see?

The governor is showing his appreciation

of your good conduct

Fine way he's got of showing it

Good conduct

I'll finish with that lark

after the way I've

slaved in his garden for five years and now

I'll show him good conduct

Come back here

You mustn't do that

You mustn't

Davy, Davy, think man

Be reasonable

At last, you are free

Please, can't I just stay for six months more?

Come along and see the governor

three months

Come along

There we are, in we go

Now the other one, there we are

At least I'm entitled
to two weeks' notice?

No Davy, we've been over all this

It's your moral duty to take your place in society

and contribute to the common good

There's your railway ticket to Sleath

And here's your letter of introduction

You have to report to the personnel department of

McKillup and Company

Davy, your heart should be overflowing with gratitude

at this golden opportunity to start life anew

All ready?

We must hurry or you'll miss your train, won't you?

Come along, Davy

Hello, Davy boy

Adolf

That's right, Davy

You didn't think we'd forget our old chum now, did you?

it's taken you five years to remember

I don't blame you for being bitter

but it wasn't our fault you got caught

and we got away now, was it?

It's the luck of the game

Of course it was

Let bygones by bygones

Come on, hop in

It's not far to the station

But you're coming back to London with us

Come on, we'll fix you up with some new clothes

and do a little celebrating

I've got a job to do up north

Where?

Little place called Sleath

Is it a safe drop?

Recommended by the chaplain

Do you mean the chaplain's one of us?

I'm going straight, Adolf

Don't be a mug, Davy

What good will that do, slaving away for seven quid a week?

We can make a fortune together

Just a couple of months work

and then you can retire and spend the rest of your life

in the lap of luxury

You could go anywhere

Bermuda, South America, Italy

Once and for all, no

I promised Mr. Hodgekiss

I'm sticking to the straight and narrow

let him go

But we need him

We'll get him

I'll give him just 48 hours to get over that

straight and narrow nonsense

Right, let's go

Morning

Can I leave this here, please?

You better pick it up by seven

Last train leaves at 7:05

I'm not leaving, I'm gonna live here

In Sleath

I've got a job at the mill

Start today

You're going to work for McKillup

How did you know?

Everyone works for McKillup

Don't do it

Take my advice

Get back on that train and go

Go where?

Anywhere, except Sleath

Go on hurry, you can still make it

Well you, can't say I didn't warn you

Morning, can I help you?

Is anything the matter?

Not with you, miss

I've got a letter here, about a job

You're Cooper, then?

I'm from the

Yes, I know

You'll start tomorrow

Johnny, Mr. Cooper's starting tomorrow

Fix him up with some working clothes

You'll be working in number one shop

All right, come on

I'd like a room, please

you would

just 'til I find some digs

Luggage?

I left it at the station

It's all right, though

cause I've got a job at the factory

Sign the book

There

And put your address

I haven't got one

That's why I want a room

Put your previous one, then

Anything wrong?

I told you to get out of Sleath

You're too late now

Train's gone

Is there another hotel?

There's only one of everything in Sleath

and McKillup owns the lot

I gotta stay somewhere

Suppose I better start looking

Anyway, thanks for helping me up

Here, wait a minute

Better come with me

I don't want to put you to any trouble

Come along

I've got a spare room

Not very fancy but it's clean and I won't cheat ya

Something you ought to know about me

I've been in jail

Then you'll feel
right at home in Sleath

Come along, we'll go and get your bag

Now I don't want to

I feel I'm causing you and your family a lot of trouble

Don't worry, there's only me and my daughter

Nah, I better go

You're late, dad

This is my daughter

I've asked him to lodge with us but he doesn't want to

Mr. Foster, I've changed my mind

come in, Mr. Cooper

New here?

What?

Are you new here?

You'll soon pick it up

Heavy

Easy to do?

Is it easy to do?

there's nothing in it

What?

The axles

- Where?
- There

It's got three speeds, fast, slow, and intermediate

Then if you want to stop

you've got to pull the ol' handle, stops you

That cuts it

No, no, no, that stops it

Do you stop it to put the oil on it?

You oil it as it's going along like that

Otherwise the whole thing seizes right up

Nothing in it

Want to have a go?

- Do?
- sure

You wouldn't like to take over for five minutes

while I have a smoke, will ya?

Who is responsible for this?

I don't know, sir

somebody is

Well speak up

Who is responsible?

It's me

I'm in here

You idiot

I'm very sorry, Mr. McKillup

He's a new man, I'll sack him at once

You've ruined a whole morning's work

You're sacked

Get your cards

I was just gettin' my oil can

You heard me

Get your cards at once

Just a moment, Jacks

You say it's his first day here?

We all make mistakes, don't we?

I think he ought to be given another chance

That would only be the fair thing to do

It's always been my policy

to deal fairly with my employees

Thank you, Mr. McKillup

Just see it doesn't happen again

it won't, I promise

It was an accident, it won't happen again

Clumsy ass

Come along, Ashton

Really, McKillup

No wonder you're in trouble

employing incompetents like that

Why on Earth didn't you sack him?

Good will, Ashton

We'll need all the good will we can find

in the next few days, particularly tonight

Especially tonight

we better start

Yes, yes, don't rush me

Ashton this stock issue

I can't get into trouble, can I?

I mean it is legal, isn't it?

Perfectly legal I assure you

Don't worry, our firm doesn't guarantee

to get you into heaven

but at least we'll keep you out of jail

Come along now

Let us get it over with

Ladies and gentlemen

I won't mince matters

We must face the fact that your town is dying

We'll be late for the meeting Mr. Cooper

Ready

isn't he coming?

Well don't you want to see Sleath grow?

What for?

If it were twice as big it would be twice as bad

If I had my way I'd blow it up

wipe it off the face of the Earth

All right dad, we've heard all that before

That's enough now

But if you don't like it, why do you stay here?

Same reason everybody else stays here

Can't afford to get out

Come on, Mr. Cooper

Mr. Foster, you sure you won't come?

And listen to that big bag of wind, McKillup?

I know exactly what he'll say
What?

I have only the best interests of Sleath at heart

The interests of Sleath are your interests

He's off

Prosperity for Sleath means prosperity for all

Prosperity for Sleath means prosperity for all

For you and you and you

Prosperity for all

Sleath must expand or die

Which is it to be?

Faced with such a choice there could only be one answer

I'll tell you the answer

There's no use flogging a dead horse

That's right, flogging a dead horse

If it's dead it should be buried

That's what I say

I quite agree my friends

Why not replace a dead horse with a healthy, energetic one?

That's the object

of the Sleath Redevelopment Corporation

I personally have invested substantially in this venture

but we must have the backing of certain

financial interests in London

My colleague, Mr. Ashton

and the syndicate which he represents

has faith in the future of your town

They are prepared to invest heavily in its redevelopment

if the people of Sleath are behind this project 100%.

But I must impress on you the fact

that if we are to succeed we must have the support

of every investor large and small

Tomorrow morning, a large block of shares

will be offered to the general public

I am confident that you, the ordinary people of Sleath

will welcome this opportunity to share in the future

prosperity of your town with unbounded enthusiasm

Surely you want new factories in Sleath?

For your benefit

Why don't you do something about the old factories first

I was coming to that

Reluctant as I am to do so

I may be forced to shut down the mill

This town will be finished

Our only salvation lies in the success

of the Sleath Redevelopment Corporation

Now that you realise the urgency of the situation

I am confident you will give this project your approval

by investing your savings down to the last penny

aren't you going to do anything?

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves

Here's a great man like Mr. McKillup

Offering you the only chance to save yourselves

and you won't take it

You haven't got enough faith in your own town

or your own future

Nobody's got a future in this town

don't talk nonsense

What about him?

Why don't you think about his future

and all the other little kids like him?

Surely he's got a right to grow up strong and healthy

in a prosperous town?

Hasn't he?

I may be new here but I've got faith in this town

And I've got faith in Mr. McKillup too

And I'm going to prove it now

by investing in this, this little boy's future

In here I've got every penny I've earned

in the last five years

and believe me, it was hard labour

There you are, Mr. McKillup

I want to invest my life savings

Four pound seven and six pence

He wants to give the money to Mr. McKillup himself

There, Mr. McKillup

He's got faith in this town

and if you had any sense

you would have faith as well

If he can do it, so can we

He's right

He's our only chance

Aye, that's right
We'd better save Sleath

Young man

It has taken a stranger in our midst to open our eyes

Sleath will be everlastingly grateful to you

Listen to this

Enthusiastic response to redevelopment scheme

City syndicate offers full backing

Price of shares rising

I've done it, Ashton

You mean I've done it

We've both done it

actually, neither of us would've done it

if it hadn't been for that simpleton

What's his name?

Cooper, I believe

We should be grateful to him

Yes and we must show our gratitude in concrete fashion

We may need his help again

Young man?

hello Mr. McKillup

And how do you like being promoted to the fourth floor?

I'm very grateful, sir

I'm grateful to you

for the support you gave me last night

I hope you make a handsome profit

I didn't want to make a profit

any more than you did, Mr. McKillup

It's for the good of the town

Yes, yes, of course

Well, goodnight

Mr. McKillup

what is it now?

Is it all right if I do your office now, sir?

Certainly

what is it now?

Could I have?

That's a tedious journey from London

McKillup leave those papers?

- Here they are
- right

Thank you, I'll check them now

I might have been killed

Just look at me, I'm soaked to the skin

with all this filthy water

I shall have to go and change

Hand me that bag, will you?

I'd like to lay my hands on the idiot

who left that pail there

A week of disinfectant

It's a good job McKillup's got a shower

I'll take it

Morley?

Ashton's busy at the moment, this is Collins

Are you sure?

Good, very good indeed

Yes, yes, I'll tell him at once

That was Morley

Oh well, what did he have to say?

Good news

Good news

When the market opens tomorrow morning

the shares will be quoted at 79

We didn't expect it to reach that for at least a week

We'll be able to sell sooner than we expected

How high do you think they'll go?

- A hundred
- I bet

Might be even higher

The sky's the limit

But I'll settle at anything over a hundred

How long have you been here?

I didn't look, sir

get out of here

I'm sorry, sir

And congratulations on the shares

What?

Fancy 'em going up to 79

Some of the people were saying they'd never go up

You just wait 'til I tell 'em

You mustn't do that

Why not?

You're gonna sell if they reach a hundred

So if everybody sells their shares

they'll all make a profit

No, no, it doesn't work that way

If everybody sells then the shares go down

I see

Now, look

I'll tell you what

If you keep quiet about this I'll

I'll let you have a couple of my shares

Then when the time's right, I'll let you know when to sell

That means we make a packet

and everyone else is in trouble, eh?

That's the stock market

You catch on quickly

But you must keep mum

Can I rely on you?

You can rely on me

I better get back to work now

It's Cooper, sir

Who do you say?

yes, I remember

What is it, Cooper?

There's something I've got to tell you

Ashton is a crook

Ashton's a crook is he?

I see

You told anyone else about this Cooper?

I've had my suspicions about Ashton for some time

Are you still in my office, Cooper?

Hold on, here they come

Just hold on a minute, Cooper

Hi inspector, this is the mayor

I have reason to believe

that my safe in the factory's being robbed

Now listen carefully to me

and do exactly as I say

Safe behind the picture?

Take out the brown envelope

and bring it straight to me here

take the brown envelope, bring it to you

Don't worry, you can count on me, sir

Hello, Mr. McKillup
what was the combination then?

I shall have to do it the easy way.

Evening

I'll take that

Now come on, there's a good chap

Don't give any trouble

You think I?

You don't understand

I was just getting something for Mr. McKillup

This envelope contains evidence

that's gonna send a crook to prison

It certainly will

You're making such a mistake

You better phone Mr. McKillup

here he is now

Here you are, Mr. McKillup

I got it

Caught you in the act, eh?

Good work, sergeant

But you told me to get this out

I told you to rob my safe?

A somewhat feeble-minded alibi

wouldn't you say, inspector?

But you said, you know what?

He's a crook

So this is the thanks I get

for giving a hardened criminal a second chance

Shakes one faith in human nature

You'll never get away with

Don't let him get away

there he is

This way

There he goes

Here you are, dad

What happened?

- They're after me
- Who is?

The police

What have you done?

Nothing, I've been framed

I found something out

McKillup is a crook

I've known that for 30 years

Sit down and have a cup of tea

It's all a big swindle

I heard 'em talking

You've got to get away

You stay here you'll just end up in prison

That's a good idea

At least I'd be safe there, wouldn't I?

Don't be a fool, Davy

Quick, the back way

Take my bike

Wait a minute

We've got to stop McKillup

The only way to stop McKillup

is to blow this miserable town of his sky high

I'm beginning to think you're right, dad

Davy, please go while you have a chance

All right, I'll go, but I'll be back

I'll get even with McKillup

if it's the last thing I do

Go on

Where is he?

We know he's here somewhere

You realise there are serious penalties

for harbouring a criminal?

In that case you'd better get out of here

- Try upstairs!
- I tell you

he's not here

Get him, get him

Quick, quick

Get in, get in

Governor?

He's here, gov

So you're through with the straight and narrow?

Don't ever mention straight and narrow to me again

From now on I'm going to be

just as crooked as honest people are

Delighted

Glad to hear you've reformed

Let's have a drink and we'll get down to business

What are you doing back in this old dump?

Davy boy, I won't try to hide the fact

that fortune hasn't exactly smiled on us since you left

Quite frankly, we can't do without you

You wait and hear about all the jobs

we've got lined up for you

I'm prepared to do anything

but first you've got to help me to do a job

Anything, Davy boy

We're partners again, aren't we?

that depends

What kind of job do you have in mind?

Jewellery?

Furs?

This is a bit out of our usual run

What's this?

Sleath redevelopment shares skyrocket

Further jump forecast

It's quite a neat swindle

How did you know?

It used to be my old racket, Davy boy

before I changed to a more direct approach

Believe me, there's more money in safe cracking

But they've swindled a whole town

They're gonna make a fortune

unless we swindle them the same way

they've swindled everyone else

Now you're thinking big, Davy

And then when we've swindled

'em out of every penny they've got

We'll give it all back to the people

Hark at Robin Hood

He's turning honest again

Are you Davy?

Only temporary

You're asking the impossible, Davy

All right, then

You don't help me

I don't help you

Now, now, now, Davy

Davy I didn't say I wouldn't help you

This is gonna require a great deal of thought and money

here's 3,825 pounds

to start with

that's good work, Davy

But hardly enough for a takeover bid

Now, what we must do is to find some way

to establish ourselves as a group

whose credit is unimpeachable

with unlimited financial resources

whose honesty and integrity is beyond question

that's the impossible, that is

But you're the kind of man

who finds the impossible an

Irresistible challenge

All we have to do is to find out

what kind of people fit these specifications

Course

Simple

I'd like to know just how many rooms you have

We have 20, sir

I reckon that'll have to do

I'm afraid only 10 of them are vacant

I guess the men will just have to rough it, major

Anything wrong?

Excuse me, it's just I had the feeling

I've seen you somewhere before

Time magazine?

Would you like to sign the register, sir?

Why, certainly

General Perkins and staff

Nationality, sir

I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave that blank

For security reasons we are here incognito

What's in there?

The lounge, sir

This'll have to be my office, major

Yes, general

Where's this lot go, gov?

Right in here, and watch that accent

- Major?
- General?

Will you see the men are assigned to their quarters?

Very good, general

Sergeant

Go check the rooms

- Major?
- Yes, general

Professor?

- General
- Are you still here?

You may go

Very good sir

We'll never get away with it, Adolf

It's worked so far, hasn't it?

- I dunno if I can keep it up.

You're doing fine, Davy

I bet the manager's on the phone right now

I'm not joking, Mr. McKillup

Aye, that's right

The American army

they're being very secretive

But I managed to find out who they are

Rocket missiles

Aye, that's right

I think you better come right over, sir

All we have to do now is wait

He's here

He'll recognise me

Not in that uniform

Where's me hat?

Glasses

Where are my glasses?

Now calm down, Davy

I can't find my glasses

He's taken over the lounge

He has, has he?

What'd you say his name is?

Perkins?

Aye, that's right

General Perkins

A very big man in missiles

You must have read about him in Time magazine

Time magazine?

Aye, that's right

Yes, I believe I did

Watch it

You know this is a private room?

I don't know who you are, sir

But I know who you are

yes, I know why you're here too

I wasn't born yesterday, you know

So shall we have a chat about this rocket base

General Perkins?

Now how ever did you find out?

I read Time magazine too, you know

pretty sharp, Mr.?

McKillup

Mr. McKillup

I guess I might just as well

lay my cards right on the table

Go ahead, general

I'm listening

This one works

Shall we get down to business?

Major?

Professor?

Now then, Mr. McKillup

Very odd, you remind me of someone

General, you have an appointment, sir

I'm sorry, general

I am at your disposal

Now then, you see that?

It's a map of Sleath

I understand you're the mayor here

Yes that is so

And you own a good bit of this here town?

That's right

The bits marked in pencil there?

That's right

All those bits, why, we want to buy 'em

All of them?

Professor, now, you are sure

this is the only spot for the launching site?

According to my calculations

the direction of the rocket B

with the velocity D

and the energy equal to one million

hold it professor

I tend to leave all that scientific stuff to you

My job is to set up this rocket base

Now if you say we need the whole square

then we'll have to have it

the whole square?

Not only that, but the whole area around it

We'll have to get all the people out

before they start demolition

But that's almost the entire town

I don't intend to haggle over the price

Cost a fortune buying this property

Acquiring leases, paying people off to move

You're the mayor, so I can tell you this

in strict confidence

I'm authorised to bid as high as a million

A million dollars?

Pounds, sir

Pounds, do you say?

Sir, I did not say peanuts

Now as mayor of this here town

it's up to you to expedite this matter

Evacuate the area

arrange for the transfer of the title deeds

and so on and so forth

Certainly, certainly general

A busy man like you doesn't want to negotiate

with every Tom, Dick, and Harry

Leave everything to me

Fine, fine

Naturally we have to acquire the control and interest

in the Sleath Redevelopment Corporation

buy up all the shares

Naturally

There are just

one or two questions
- General

your call to Washington, sir

Washington?

that's right, I almost forgot

Would you excuse me, Mr. McKillup?

I'll get working on this thing right away

My questions are of no importance

I can't help feeling we've met before somewhere

You can?

I can't

The Ed Murrow show, maybe?

No, no, it was right here

Why you, you, well, that's ridiculous

It couldn't be

Do you think he fell for it?

If he hadn't, my lad

you'd be back in clink by now.

He's a general

He's not a general, he's only a captain

How do you know?

He's too small to be a general

Now how did you recognise me?

You surely didn't think you could fool anyone

in that get-up, do you?

you know I've been doing mighty fine

so far, that is

You've been called up, son

Dad, that's an American uniform

An officer's uniform

You're a captain?

Nah sir, am a general

You're out of your mind

I said I'd be back to get even with McKillup

Well this was the only way I could do it

But Davy, listen

You've got to trust me

I know what I'm doing

What can you do?

I couldn't do anything alone and I know that

But I've got the backing

of the richest country in the world

The United States of America

Mind you, they don't know yet

Whatever you're up to, I'm not going to let you

It's too late now, it's already been done

But I need your help

You can count on me, general

now listen

McKillup is gonna try to buy back all those shares

of the Sleath Redevelopment Corporation

He'll pay twice what they're worth

So you spread the word, see

You leave it to me

Tonight I'll make the round of every pub in Sleath

You do that every night

Davy, do be sensible

Please, you must trust me

If they hold out for a few days

they'll have enough money to get out of this miserable town

Why don't you declare war on us, general?

Then you could blow the town up

I'd give anything to see that

Maybe you will

I guess maybe you will at that, grandpa

Here he comes

I still say he's only a captain

Go on, he's no captain

He's too small for a captain

If you don't shut your gob

I'll give you a clip 'round the ear hole

Don't he speak good for a yank?

Yes, I'll meet your price

I want the entire southwest corner

Have the deed of sale drawn up immediately

Look at that

Still queuing to sell their shares

Three day's running

I hope this costs McKillup every penny he's got

It will

Couldn't go wrong, could it?

Now don't worry, Davy

When Adolf Carter plans an operation

he leaves nothing to chance

You planned that operation in the hospital

Didn't you?

What on Earth is the matter with you?

Nothing

I was in this pub, see

You were told to stay out of pubs

me and the other fellas

we took the jeep over to the next town

I was sittin' having a quiet pint

minding my own business

and these two American GIs came in

Americans?

They're stationed at some airfield

You idiot

I didn't start it

They come over to me

and one of them says, hi pal

And naturally I says hi pal

and then they started to make fun of the way I talk

And this other bloke, he says

I know where you come from, you come from Brooklyn

and this first bloke, he says well we're from Texas

and we don't like jerks from Brooklyn

That was it

Jerks from Brooklyn?

You raving lunatic, you're from Bermondsey

I got carried away

in the heat of the moment, you see?

And then the next thing I knew

we were rolling all over the floor

when these two MPs came in

MPs?

That's done it

No, it's all right

I got out the back door, we're in the clear

Are you quite sure?

You don't think for a moment we

We're in trouble

Pull yourself together

We'll be arrested

We're not in the American army

Then we'll be shot as spies

Come on, let's get out of

Our only chance is to brazen this out

You and you, go

He's a real American general, we'll never fool them

Now you keep quiet, I'll do the talking

Come in

General Cummings, in command of northeast sector

Area B

Won't you sit down, sir

Who are you?

Major Horton, in charge of security

and public relations on special assignment, sir

General, one of your men

Yes sir, we already have a report on that incident, sir

You're taking it very calmly

I will not tolerate brawling in my command

My policy has always been to maintain good will

In a few days I am flying to Washington

to attend a general staff meeting on that very subject

I Will not have this incident on my record

I demand you accept full responsibility

Perhaps you better ask whom you're talking to, general

I don't care

who are you, general?

Sorry, I'm afraid the general can't answer that

What are you doing here?

Sorry, but we can't answer that either

Just a minute, major

I addressed my question to the general

Let him speak for himself

This is my command area

I have every right to know who you are

and what you are doing here

Don't you ever read Time magazine, sir?

Time magazine?

Time magazine

Then however do you expect to keep in touch, sir?

Major, there's only one way to settle this

I guess you better call Washington

Washington?

The White House

on the private wire

Now, general

Go ahead, major

Yes sir, I'm just looking up the number, sir

Come on now general

there's no need to drag Washington into this

A harmless fistfight

Why don't we just shake hands all 'round

and forget the whole thing?

Just this time

My sincere apologies, General?

Perkins, sir

Perkins, if there's anything I can do

to assist you on your mission, general

now, as a matter of fact, there is

It's very important that I have some explosives

and supplies in a hurry

Just you name it and it's yours

Colonel

You establish liaison with Major Horton here

and any requisitions made my General Perkins

shall be delivered without delay

Good luck, general

Call yourself a public relation's officer, Elmer

You never get my picture in Time magazine

But Harry, you're not in command of a rocket base

General Perkins is

They all seem happy enough

to be gettin' out of town

There's loyalty for you

As soon as they got some money, they're off

If I hadn't bought back those shares

Made a fortune out of them, they did

So did you, Mr. McKillup

So I did

Deeds are all there, general

Gonna check them?

Now, if we can't trust each other

at this stage of the game why

Anything wrong?

Would you excuse me, Mr. McKillup?

Certainly

I tell you he knows what he's doing

But don't you realise

he's going to blow up the town?

it's time somebody did it

What are you doing here?

I told you to take her away from Sleath

She won't go

Davy you're not really going to go through

with this crazy idea, are you?

I can't stop now

I'm not going to let you do it

I'm going to go in there and tell McKillup

now be reasonable

Reasonable?

You're going to destroy hundreds of thousands

of pounds worth of property

- But it's not mine
- But don't you see

You must trust me, please Ellen

I'm going to go in there and tell McKillup

Now wait

You can't, what am I gonna do with her?

Place her under arrest, general

- Hear, hear
- He's no general

I'm afraid I shall have to, Ellen

And treat her gently

shall we sign the documents?

I'm ready when you are, sir

If it's okay with you, I'd like to start demolition

as soon as possible, Mr. McKillup

The sooner, the better

General, Mr. McKillup, sir

The whole area is completely cleared?

All yours, general

Cor, blimey

What did you say?

Gosh

Watch it

Why, you almost blew the whole thing up

Did I?

I was only kiddin

Everything's under control

When does the actual demolition begin?

Right away

I'll set up our control base in the return

at the end of the pier

We're sure to be safe there

perhaps I'd better not

now, Mr. McKillup, come on

After all it is your town

Remember seeing Sleath grow?

now you can see it go

Better take your last look at it, Mr. McKillup

Everything's ready, general

And you're certain we're safe here?

Half a mile of water separates us

from the actual scene of the operation, sir

These cables?

Lead from the buildings in the town

to the detonator switches on the panel right here

Just a touch of that button the town hall, sky high

Not yet

Now you're not going to back out, are you, sir?

no, but, go ahead.

Major, go ahead

Very good, sir

Go ahead, sergeant

I'll reckon we'll start with

you choose sir

Let's begin with something small

how about the public

The gentlemen's, yes, yes

Ladies first, sir

Now the gents

Shall we do the town hall now, sir?

No, no, the library

It's falling down anyway

It's my turn

I wanted to do that myself

Aw now, don't be a baby

Town hall

Hey, it's fun

We are safe, aren't we?

Now you're turn

The factory

Why I can't blow up your factory

It's your factory now

Mr. McKillup, no hands

Incredible, incredible

Nothing's left

I don't know how you did it

Sir, I was trained in the best army in the world

General, just a few details

General, the professor must speak to you at once, sir

Would you excuse me, Mr. McKillup?

These scientists always bringing up problems

Yep, professor?

What can I do for you?

General, my calculations, it's a mistake

It's the wrong direction

the wrong direction?

What's wrong?

What is it?

It faces north

Then we just can't use it

Can't use what?

Now the buildings are down, why, it's obvious

The town faces north

But it always did

then you should have

pointed that out to us before, sir

back to the drawing board

What about my money?

We have a contract

We'll have to exercise the cancellation clause, sir

But there is no cancellation clause

should be

Just a typographical error I suppose.

What about my money?

My town

You won't get away with this

I'm going to report you to your superiors

I'm calling Washington

You hear me

I'm going to call Washington

As you all know

I visited 24 countries in nine days

And the purpose of that trip was to check up on our policy

of good will

And we must re-double our efforts to maintain

I said no calls

This is urgent, sir

The British ambassador

these diplomats

At least this is a friendly one

Mr. Ambassador, if you just

We did what?

We couldn't have

no, Mr. Ambassador, I'm not calling you a liar

The whole town?

General Perkins?

Hold on a minute, please

Have any of you ever heard of a General Perkins?

General Perkins?

General Perkins?

Did somebody say General Perkins?

You know him, Cummings?

Why, yes, he's a great friend of mine

He's in my command area

And I may add I gave him every assistance

on his recent mission

You were aware of the nature of General Perkins' mission?

I read Time magazine, sir

Did he hit the moon?

General Perkins has just blown up

an entire English town

On purpose?

That's not very friendly

And you helped him blow it up

I didn't know anything about it

You mean to tell me your troops did this without orders?

My troops are well disciplined

They don't act without orders, no sir

Then you are responsible?

well it certainly looks that way

Yes, Mr. Ambassador

No, no, I was merely checking the facts

No, Mr. Ambassador, we accept full responsibility

and I assure you, sir

full reparation will be made immediately

I will authorise an appropriation of one million

Three million?

Five million dollars

and we'll rebuild the town from top to bottom

That gentleman, is good will

And today, this magnificent new town

so aptly named Good Will

stands as a symbol of the generosity

of our American cousins

But, above all, it stands as a tribute

to the prophetic vision of your benefactor

You've got a grand town here, Mr. McKillup

Now don't mess about with it

Davy, you ought to know me better, by now

I've only the best interests of Sleath at heart

You all right?

Are you off?

Only thing is, one of these days

they're sure to kick me out

When you get out you come back to Sleath

You really mean that?

Promise you'll come back?

I'd like to see anybody stop me

Take care of yourself, Ellen

I will

Davy, aren't you going to