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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,882 YOUNG WOMAN: So, what can I tell you about Eve Wilde 3 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,800 that you don't already know? 4 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,053 Well, for starters, she absolutely hates 5 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,519 being called Grandma or Grandmother or anything with "grand" in it. 6 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,563 So she's just plain old Eve to both you and me. 7 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:15,319 Oh, you probably do know she's been married before, right? 8 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:19,285 But the only one you really need to pay attention to is Laurence, 9 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,621 husband number one and my personal favorite 10 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:25,207 because he is technically my grandpa, but guess what. 11 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,580 I can't call him that either. Actors. 12 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,581 Eve and Laurence met in New York 13 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:35,051 where Laurence was studying to be a famous actor. 14 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,133 And Eve wanted to be an actress, 15 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,975 but, well, you know how that old chestnut goes. 16 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,140 Life's what happens while you're busy making plans. 17 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,852 Laurence got cast as the lead in this big comedy. 18 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:52,227 and he got Eve a part in it too, which was super cool of him. 19 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:57,949 But when the film came out, all of the reviews said, "Hello. A star is born." 20 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,489 But they weren't talking about Laurence. 21 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,539 By the time Eve was one of the biggest stars in the world, 22 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:08,205 she and Laurence were exchanging humorous divorce gifts. 23 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,045 A silver cowbell for Eve to wear around her neck 24 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,290 so Laurence would always know she was coming. 25 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:17,840 A birdcage for Laurence so that the next Mrs. Darling couldn't get away. 26 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,806 I'd say Eve is on the whole what you'd call a positive person. 27 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:26,098 She says that her whole life has been one long fairy tale and everything. 28 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,222 But I might just disagree with Eve here. 29 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:33,227 I might say in everything except love, 30 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:38,653 which, frankly, if you knew the family would be considered the family "hurdle." 31 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,034 But all that was about to change. 32 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,957 MAN: Like the lightning that precedes thunder, 33 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:52,045 my eyes took in what my heart knew an instant later, 34 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,959 that this was love. 35 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,425 Love at first sight. 36 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,064 YOUNG WOMAN: So I'm making a film for Eve of the weekend. 37 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,649 It's my wedding gift. 38 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,268 And from prior experience, 39 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,988 I can say it'll have a little bit of all the genres: 40 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,984 comedy, drama, musical and, of course, 41 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,202 documentary, which is my forte 42 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,912 because I like to think I ask the tough questions. 43 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,080 I bet it was the Swedish nanny who jumped you when you were, like, 16. 44 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,998 - Excuse me? - Mom told me. 45 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,838 She said that girl was totally your type. Bad girl. 46 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,959 Oh, my God. Mackenzie, that is so inappropriate. 47 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,051 Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right? 48 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,468 Actually, my first love was... 49 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,558 My first love... 50 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,183 MACKENZIE: OK, so he's doing this whole drum-roll thing 51 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,806 because deep down, he wants to say it was my mom, 52 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,310 but instead he's just trying to think of something funny. 53 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:00,651 That's my mom and dad in this band they had. 54 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,571 Mom said there were a lot of guys trying to get her attention, 55 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,286 but she only had eyes for him. 56 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:11,624 She said he wrote the most dreamy music. 57 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,961 Thing is, he still does, just not for her. 58 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:21,710 My first love was a crème brûlée 59 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,633 that I had in the south of France when I was 12. 60 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,802 You're so emotionally retarded, Dad. 61 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,344 - Thank you. - (MUSICAL RINGTONE) 62 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,013 Alright, hang on. 63 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,228 - Hey, Jimmy. - I'm patching Ethan in. 64 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,062 - OK. - But I got everything. 65 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,774 All of Harold's numbers, bank accounts, loans, debts... 66 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:40,646 MACKENZIE: My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love, like, a gazillion times. 67 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,443 He says he's a romantic. 68 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,149 - Look. - MAN: Jimmy? 69 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,946 MACKENZIE: There he goes again. 70 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,615 MAN: Jimmy? Jimmy, you there? 71 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:52,957 - Sorry. What? Sorry. Where was I? - Having your suspicions confirmed. 72 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:56,998 Right, confirming my suspicion that people who write serious novels 73 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,372 have a relatively small pot to piss in. 74 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,875 - Which is why this fucking prenup is... - Dad. 75 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,592 - Hey, honey. - Hi, Dad. 76 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,632 Your bus is very late. 77 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,973 Yeah, I know. I was on it. Dad, this is Pink. 78 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,018 - Pink? - Hey, dude. 79 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,850 She's coming with us for the weekend. 80 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,894 Well, honey, it's kind of a special weekend, don't you think? 81 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,608 I brought a friend to her last wedding. 82 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,647 But you were five. 83 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,188 I brought a friend to your last wedding. Thanks, babe. 84 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,191 Please, I finally erased that whole debacle from my memory. 85 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,693 - Where's the car? - Right there. 86 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,070 Come on. 87 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,580 Hello? Where the hell's Ethan? 88 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,075 (GRUNTING) 89 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:41,293 MACKENZIE: My Uncle Ethan says he's never getting married. 90 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:46,302 Oh, fuck! My God! Ah! 91 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:51,307 MACKENZIE: He says why would he, with all the interesting people 92 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,221 he meets on social media these days? 93 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,478 Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy. 94 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,811 WOMAN: Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. 95 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,026 You heard the new tracks? OK. 96 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,691 I'm gonna have the number-one album and the number-one tour 97 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,447 if you pull your finger out of your ass. 98 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,237 Do your job. I want arenas. 99 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:12,657 - Oh, honey, look. Look. - No. Mom, please. 100 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,577 Yes, yes, yes. Hey, can you pull over? Yes, yes, right here. 101 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,460 MACKENZIE: The problem is that when it comes to relationships, 102 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,795 examples have to be set. 103 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,330 But in my case, the adults setting them 104 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,959 are quite possibly the worst examples known to man. 105 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,844 JIMMY: Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse. 106 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,806 Somebody's gonna go ass over backwards into a lawsuit. 107 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,680 Well, it leads down to the lake. I don't want to board it up. 108 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,398 Well, can we at least put up a couple of signs? 109 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:46,567 Al, could you make up a couple of signs that say "Beware of Steep Slope"? 110 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:47,734 - A sign? - WOMAN: Hello? 111 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,279 A sign's gonna save us a million dollars if someone falls. 112 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,446 - We're in here. - Mom. 113 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,535 WOMAN: Hi. 114 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,699 Sam. 115 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,661 Sam can't pass a vintage clothing store without begging me to stop. 116 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,909 - Hello, darling. - What's up, buddy? 117 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,913 - That's for you. - Come sit down. 118 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,506 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 119 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:09,127 Sam, just do what I do. Donate all the clothes Mom gives me. 120 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,096 I think your mother has a charming fashion sense. 121 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,215 - So do I. - This is lovely. 122 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,432 Yeah. 123 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:20,855 - Sam. Tell me, how is your father? - He's in Miami. 124 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,937 - Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up. - EVE: Why? 125 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,194 Well, you know, it was either that or I was gonna strangle him. 126 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,188 Sure, the go-to options. 127 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,699 - MACKENZIE: So, Eve... - EVE: Mm-hm. 128 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,319 MACKENZIE: What can you tell us about your first love? 129 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,293 Oh. 130 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:46,881 There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo. 131 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,877 He was the reason I joined the theater class where I met Laurence. 132 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,179 Of course, Cosmo wasn't interested in girls. 133 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,683 Yeah, duh. Of course. His name is Cosmo. 134 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,933 Alright, so... so, what, your first love was Laurence? 135 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,318 I remember the first time Laurence and I rehearsed. 136 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:13,407 He looked at me with that smoldering stare that he has. 137 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,618 I mean, you know. You know the one. 138 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,037 I know it well. 139 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:23,876 And it was goodbye, Cosmo, hello, Laurence. 140 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,587 (♪ "BOOTY SWING" BY PAROV STELAR) 141 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,849 EVE: Now, of course, Laurence has had the career 142 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,219 every actor would dream of having, 143 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,971 unless, of course, you're Laurence Darling. 144 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,896 He's recognized as a great actor. 145 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,820 I'm just a... a simple movie star. 146 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:57,910 And he could find that very annoying. 147 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,295 - Morning. - Morning. 148 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,822 - Boys, boys, boys. - Dad. 149 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:39,114 It's so good to see you. Why isn't it more often? 150 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,578 - You never return any of our calls. - Dad, Dad, Dad. 151 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,323 It was a rhetorical question, James. 152 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,951 We all have such busy lives now. 153 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,371 - Laurence. - The Lady Eve. 154 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,591 - How are you? - I am grand. 155 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,550 I have come to see you off again. 156 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,431 Maybe we'll get it right this time. 157 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,848 That's why I'm here, to make sure that this one is a keeper. 158 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,891 You are so thoughtful. 159 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,640 As if you'd have any idea what a keeper was. 160 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,440 - WOMAN: Laurence. - I'm sensing a theme here. 161 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,273 Are all the exes invited? 162 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:20,492 - Just the ones Mom likes. - And they're still alive. 163 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,613 Well, I'm glad I still qualify. 164 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,990 Has the great man arrived? 165 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:30,211 Not yet. His sense of timing's even better than yours. 166 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,708 Upstaged again? 167 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,464 - WOMAN: Bad Girls. - HAROLD: Uh... 168 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,307 (BRITISH ACCENT) Right. Uh, Bad Girls, Bad Girls. 169 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:47,018 (BRITISH ACCENT) Dad, come on. It was one of her biggest hits. 170 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,263 Oh, yeah, got it. 171 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,189 Uh, Eve steals into a prison... an Indonesian prison 172 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,811 to save her daughter who's wrongly accused of murder. 173 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,322 OK, and it ends...? 174 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,190 Oh, f... Um... 175 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,194 Hang on just a minute. Uh... 176 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:08,620 Oh, yes, uh, it turns out the daughter actually did it, 177 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,834 but Eve takes her place on the scaffold anyway. 178 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,954 Actually, it's a rip-off of Tale of Two Cities. 179 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,297 (BRITISH ACCENT) Dad, I think it's very romantic 180 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,257 that you're going to all this effort. 181 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,844 - Thank you, Clemmie. - Romantic? 182 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,176 It's an absolute bloody miracle. 183 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,562 RADIO: ♪ You're an angel from up above 184 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,568 ♪ Sent down to give me love... 185 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,736 CLEMMIE: Dad? 186 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,823 Dad. 187 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,952 I'm sorry. 188 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,179 It's a big day here. 189 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,054 - Waiting for Harold. - (BRITISH ACCENT) It's a very good day. 190 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,143 Harold, man. Oh. 191 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,517 (BRITISH ACCENT) Mum. Mummy. 192 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:13,981 Hey, hey, hey. 193 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,437 - ETHAN: Here they come. Here they come. - (HORN BEEPS) 194 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,185 JIMMY: He's going around the wrong way. 195 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,025 (HORN BEEPS) 196 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,032 EVE: Alright, everyone, behave, behave. 197 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,360 BOY: Our new family. 198 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,453 MACKENZIE: Four. 199 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,324 EVE: Welcome! Welcome! 200 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,543 And there's number five. 201 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,123 Oh! 202 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,088 Right. This is my daughter, Clemmie. 203 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,507 Hello, Clemmie. I've heard so much about you. 204 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,881 - My daughter, Rose. - Rose, yes. 205 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:51,807 And this is Rose's friend and almost third daughter. 206 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,974 - Hello. - Saffron. 207 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,313 Saffron. Hi. 208 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,648 Come meet my family. There's Jimmy, my oldest. 209 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,812 - Hey, Jimmy. - James. 210 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,943 - And then Rory. - Hi, Rory. 211 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,479 - Ethan. - Ethan. 212 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,606 Back there with the camera is Mackenzie, 213 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,485 whose mother is Priscilla who was married to Rory. 214 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,452 Here's Sam. 215 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,164 You are doing...? Hi. 216 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,376 - My daughter, Mackenzie. - Hi. 217 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,787 - Hi, Mackenzie. - Hi. 218 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,089 EVE: My nephew, Dylan. 219 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,506 My brother's son, who sadly couldn't be here. And... 220 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,673 - You are who? - Dylan. 221 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:30,596 - Dylan, hi. - And Laurence, the father of my sons. 222 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,721 And husband number one. What a great pleasure. I am a big fan. 223 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,813 The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan. 224 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,442 EVE: So you guys are in here. 225 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,686 Oh, thank you very much. 226 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,399 MACKENZIE: According to Wikipedia, 227 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:48,526 "Harold Alcott writes novels about love that are tragically comedic." 228 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,572 Which means he's gonna fit right in with this family. 229 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,949 - HAROLD: I missed you. - EVE: Well, that's your fault. 230 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,871 It's because you have so many books to pack. 231 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,369 HAROLD: Well, I'm a writer. 232 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,835 Just as long as you have that book with the pictures that we like. 233 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,332 Oh. 234 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:07,428 The Pompeiian bathhouses. Yeah, those saucy Romans. 235 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,263 I brought it in my hand luggage. 236 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,175 RORY: Get off. 237 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,140 Stop it. 238 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,473 Oh. 239 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:19,894 (LAUGHS) 240 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,110 Did the cat get the cream? 241 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,274 - What cream? - Silver fox. 242 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,398 Major hottie. For an old guy. 243 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,150 Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys. 244 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,949 You make me sound so... so superficial, 245 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,824 like it's all about his, granted, good looks 246 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:39,577 and not about his big... whoopee-doo-doo. 247 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,203 (LAUGHTER) 248 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,589 Do I really have to hear this? 249 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,709 Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla and the best sex of all time? 250 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,131 Hey, hey, hey. I never said that. 251 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,304 - Really? - Really? 252 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,266 Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not. 253 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:58,764 It wasn't the greatest sex of my life. It was the greatest sex of his. 254 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,105 RORY: Seriously? 255 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,233 Hello? 256 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,695 Hello? Hi, yes. I'm trying to track down an employee of yours. 257 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:18,074 She drove the Montauk bus yesterday that arrived at 11:45. 258 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,700 Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45, 259 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,540 but in point of fact it was very, very late. 260 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,006 Why do I wish to contact her? Is that any business of yours? 261 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:30,507 I mean, I could be an estate attorney. 262 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,216 MACKENZIE: So what does marriage mean to you? 263 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,810 What's your experience with that? 264 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,224 (CLEARS THROAT) 265 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,098 Uh, well... 266 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:48,236 My... My parents fighting. People getting divorced. 267 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:53,701 Whoa, OK. You're being a little bit of a Debbie Downer here, alright? 268 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,706 What about first love? 269 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,414 What's... What's your experience with that? 270 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:09,087 First love? Let me give that some thought. 271 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,843 Dylan, Dylan, I'm still filming. 272 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,470 (WATER SPLASHES) 273 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,635 (SIGHS) 274 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,433 MACKENZIE: Dylan. 275 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,848 Girls, you know that crazy, warm sensation you get 276 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,188 when you cross your legs and squeeze really tight? 277 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,895 Well, the first time I had that, 278 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:28,440 the weirdo in me was thinking about D ylan. 279 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,819 But what would, o f course, get tongues wagging around these parts 280 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,110 is that Dylan and I 281 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:40,239 are technically first cousins, 282 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,742 but first cousins once removed, so there's, like, a three percent chance 283 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,541 our kids would have, like, 15 fingers and three eyes. 284 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,966 OK, the first-love question was a bit leading 285 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,259 as Dylan and I have already kissed, 286 00:16:57,391 --> 00:17:01,931 but it was last summer and I haven't even seen him since. 287 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:07,099 Anyway, just... it raises that age-old question. 288 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,527 You know, can you ever go back? 289 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,147 EVE: That's exactly what I was thinking, 290 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,616 though I think maybe a couple more here, possibly another hydrangea. 291 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,494 - I think that'd be very nice. - (CLEARS THROAT) 292 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:23,908 The last thing I would call either of us is selfish. 293 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:27,624 In fact, the term "generous to a fault" springs to mind. 294 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:31,089 But in this instance, I suggest we put it to the vote 295 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,801 to keep our one solitary decanter of liquid nectar 296 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,343 a secret from the vin ordinaire drinkers 297 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,842 and rendezvous back here après le diner. 298 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,604 I second that motion and say aye. 299 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,188 Aye. 300 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,933 Harold and I will meet you back here. 301 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,112 Yes, Harold. 302 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,157 He's a fine-wine man, is he? 303 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:08,953 (MEDITATIVE CHANTING) 304 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,394 (RESUMES CHANTING) 305 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,888 (PHONE BEEPS) 306 00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,357 (CONTINUES CHANTING) 307 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,405 (PHONE RINGS) 308 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,656 ♪ I don't wanna fucking talk to you, asshole 309 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,823 ♪ Fuck you 310 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,038 (RESUMES CHANTING) 311 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,575 (CLEARS THROAT) 312 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,711 (IN PORTUGUESE) So are you happy? 313 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,331 Go on, say it, and I'll tell you what I think. 314 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,469 I think you're a liar. 315 00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:04,683 Me? I'm fine. 316 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,642 - Hey. - I'm fine. 317 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,433 Hey. 318 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,647 Moving right along. 319 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:16,145 In fact, you know what? You know what I feel like doing? 320 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,943 I feel like making love right now. 321 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:27,244 I want a man to devour me 322 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,334 and kiss every inch of my naked body 323 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,204 until I am begging him to fuck me hard. 324 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,422 How do you feel about that? 325 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:39,084 Well, guess what. I'm looking at a guy right now. 326 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:43,260 And I can tell from his shit-eating grin that he'll be happy to oblige. 327 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,761 Ciao. 328 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,180 (IN ENGLISH) Sorry. Grandma. 329 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,395 MACKENZIE: It will probably surprise you to learn 330 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,812 that Ethan speaks five languages, Portuguese among them. 331 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:58,734 So he understood every word of Saf f ron's phone call to her, quote, "grandma," 332 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,026 and explains the grin she was referring to. 333 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,024 ETHAN: How about we go on a little ride? 334 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,325 I got some delicious magic mushroom chocolates. You up for it? 335 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,073 SAFFRON: Mmm. Very naughty. 336 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,292 (♪ "JIMMY'S GANG" BY PAROV STELAR) 337 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,041 Half will get you really high. Easy. 338 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,761 Aah! 339 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,111 Whoo! 340 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,074 (SNORES) 341 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,380 To you. 342 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,926 Cheers. 343 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,560 EVE: Mmm. 344 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:24,948 So how's it going with the young actress? 345 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,781 Young is a relative term. She's 36. 346 00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:32,077 She went back to her boyfriend, at my suggestion, of course. 347 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,042 They're getting married. Must be catching. 348 00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:37,536 I'll probably be at that wedding as well. 349 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,750 Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled. 350 00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,756 Mmm. 351 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,092 Already filled. 352 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,342 So, tell me, am I giving you away for good this time? 353 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,513 Harold is an extraordinary man. 354 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,813 That he is, but will he understand your way of thinking? 355 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,435 I don't think that way anymore. 356 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:06,906 Fame, success, the flattery. 357 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,283 I'll leave it all to you. 358 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,494 Thank you. I'll take it. 359 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,289 Very generous of you. 360 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,498 Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh? 361 00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,121 Oh, I wonder why. 362 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:23,340 Maybe she thought you'd have a problem with it. 363 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,133 - Oh, hey. - What's up, guys? 364 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,423 - Hey. - Wear less. 365 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,137 OK, that happened. Um... 366 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:35,102 Look, a rock 'n' roll tour is not a place for a 16-year-old girl. Come on. 367 00:22:35,229 --> 00:22:36,436 Well, why don't you come? 368 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:40,558 Oh, sure. What, now that Sebastian is no longer needed? 369 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,309 - Sure. - Oh, honey. 370 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,232 - What? - I think I'd rather be dead. 371 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,152 - Shit. OK, good night. - OK, good night. 372 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,218 (♪ "WASH MY HANDS" BY KORMAC) 373 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:37,406 SAFFRON: Alright, now, who's shaggable? 374 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:44,664 I don't know. I can't decide between the beautiful 17-year-old boy... 375 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,915 (IN PORTUGUESE) You cradle robber. 376 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,299 Saff. 377 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,714 ...or the naughty 30-something-year-old 378 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,179 that you were tarting around with last night. 379 00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,550 He's much more up your alley. 380 00:23:56,685 --> 00:24:00,053 - Right. - He's all yours. How about you, Clem? 381 00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:04,149 Why would I tell you, Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper? 382 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,189 - Oh, my God! - Come on, Clem! 383 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:09,733 (LAUGHTER) 384 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,524 - Dad. - Yeah? 385 00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,777 Eve's one and only Golden Globe 386 00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:18,747 was for, A, Loves of a Blonde, 387 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,912 or, B, Blonde Love? 388 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,919 Uh... Loves of a Blonde. 389 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,130 ROSE: Uh, wrong. 390 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:30,546 It was actually for Blind Lover. 391 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,716 That's a trick question. That's not fair. 392 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,100 ETHAN: An early wedding present. 393 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,476 What is it? 394 00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:41,811 I got sent this the other day 395 00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:44,977 and they want the two of us to be in it playing mother and son. 396 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,475 That's imaginative casting. 397 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,444 It's actually a really good script. You should think about doing it. 398 00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:51,525 I'm in a wheelchair. You end up in a wheelchair. 399 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:54,191 Last scene is the two of us dancing in wheelchairs. 400 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:57,945 - A lot of crying scenes. - Really? I'm retired. You do it. 401 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,493 - It's a both-or-nothing deal. - Oh. 402 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,409 - Will you at least read it? - Oh, honey. 403 00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:06,833 Come on, on your honeymoon. Gotta get out of bed sometime. 404 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:10,503 - Bow-chicka-wawa. - That is so bad. You are my son. 405 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,626 - Where are you guys going? - Venice. 406 00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:15,424 - That's original. - Well, it was Harold's idea. 407 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,718 I didn't wanna start off as a difficult wife. 408 00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:19,974 Then don't be a difficult mother. 409 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,395 (PIANO INTRO) 410 00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:30,314 RORY: OK, Eve and Harold's wedding song, take one. 411 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:51,002 ♪ Bet the house, bet the f arm Fourth time is a charm 412 00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:54,464 ♪ It's amazing what a book tour can do 413 00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:58,054 ♪ He's tall, debonair And he's still got his hair 414 00:25:58,182 --> 00:26:01,095 ♪ Coolest couple in "Vanity Fair" 415 00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:04,219 ♪ Six weeks is all it took 416 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:08,018 ♪ Two books and the sales are strong 417 00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:12,440 ♪ You know you can never go wrong When love comes along 418 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:19,193 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along 419 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:26,038 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along 420 00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:34,003 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along 421 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,271 ROSE: I think it's very adult of you to be this civilized. 422 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:53,143 I mean, not everyone would have their ex-husband at their wedding. 423 00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:56,612 My mum would turn into the Exorcist if Dad showed up at her wedding. 424 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,106 Oh, God. 425 00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:01,201 Projectile green vomit. Head 360. The whole thing. 426 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,240 She still really hates him. 427 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:05,614 - Dare one ask why? - (CLEARS THROAT) 428 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,288 Oh, well, um, as Dorothy Parker once said, 429 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,623 "Hogamous, Higamous, Man is polygamous 430 00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,498 Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is monogamous." 431 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,382 (LAUGHS) 432 00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:17,876 (LAUGHTER) 433 00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:20,128 Um, I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that. 434 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:22,722 Yes, it has a man's fingerprints all over it. 435 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,593 Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving. 436 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,844 RORY: You know, if it helps explain anything, Rose, 437 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:31,348 Mom and Dad here were like the poster couple for divorce. 438 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,816 Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts. 439 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,276 Really? What? 440 00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,737 - I've forgotten. - Me too. 441 00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:41,825 Actually, one time, Mom took the three of us out of the country for a vacation 442 00:27:41,952 --> 00:27:43,568 and she didn't get Dad's permission. 443 00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:47,698 Dad waited patiently until we got back and then had Mom arrested at the airport 444 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,290 and put in prison for the night. 445 00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,784 What a guy. 446 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:52,080 Character building. 447 00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:55,167 And when Dad came back after having been away working for three months, 448 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:57,791 he found that Mom had completely redecorated the suite 449 00:27:57,926 --> 00:27:59,383 and put it on the bill. 450 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,136 Yes, it was much more cheerful. 451 00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,675 (SINGS ITALIAN OPERA) 452 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,281 Hello, there! 453 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,160 - Hey! Hombre! - Ah! 454 00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:31,624 My best man. 455 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,210 - Cómo está? - Oh, muy bien. Usted? 456 00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:35,954 Bien, bien, bien. 457 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:37,463 Hey. 458 00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:39,082 Bienvenido. 459 00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:40,625 - Señor. - Cómo estás? 460 00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,795 JIMMY: I just think we have to make at least one attempt 461 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,467 to get Mom to do a prenup. 462 00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:49,680 I don't know. She's done quite well for herself so far. 463 00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,770 Yeah, but so far all of her husbands have had money. 464 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:54,726 Except for you. 465 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:56,357 - Of course. - Yeah. 466 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,321 Come on! 467 00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:11,197 So what does true love mean to you, Mother? 468 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,950 True love? Um... 469 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:19,965 Well, you know, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 470 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,880 Which is what I keep saying about those songs, Mom. 471 00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:25,261 - PRISCILLA: What songs? - SAM: Your new ones. 472 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:29,345 What do you know, anyway? You... You sing along with Les Mis. 473 00:29:32,062 --> 00:29:34,349 Mommy is a rock goddess. 474 00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:37,106 Mom... Mommy is a rock goddess. 475 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:46,404 A couple of my novels that were turned into films 476 00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:49,027 sent me to bed with a bottle of Scotch. 477 00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:50,490 (EVE CHUCKLES) 478 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:55,834 Well, that's where the films I'm usually in these days always send me. 479 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:58,453 And why I'm in graceful retirement. 480 00:29:58,588 --> 00:30:01,706 Yeah, but that is such a pity, Eve. 481 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,006 - You played some great roles. - Has she... She has. 482 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,504 Harold has seen all my work. 483 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,845 You've seen all of Eve's films? 484 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,764 - Yeah. - LAURENCE: Seriously? 485 00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:18,139 Uh... well, you know, nearly all. 486 00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:22,778 And which performance do you treasure the most? 487 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:30,322 Well, I'd have to say, um... it was the first time I saw you on screen. 488 00:30:30,454 --> 00:30:36,121 You were playing a waitress in a diner who kept getting the orders wrong 489 00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:39,961 and you nearly killed this poor guy who had a nut allergy. 490 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:42,171 It was hilarious. 491 00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:46,468 Available Man. Laurence got me that part. 492 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:52,341 Yes, I also played the guy with the nut allergy. 493 00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:55,014 Though that wasn't Eve's first leading role. 494 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:58,138 It was meant to be, anyways, supporting. 495 00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,684 HAROLD: Well, obviously, yes. 496 00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,435 Um, in a leading role, 497 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:09,532 I would have to say, um... uh... Bad Girls was very moving. 498 00:31:11,119 --> 00:31:12,781 Mmm. 499 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,697 Mmm. 500 00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:17,869 Mmm. 501 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:20,580 Mmm. 502 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:24,171 Look, it doesn't have to be perfect. Can you get a prenup here by tomorrow? 503 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:29,465 Dance party. Here we go. Taking us down the road. Let's do it. 504 00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,838 (DANCE MUSIC) 505 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,927 Step, and down. 506 00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,099 Step. 507 00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,399 Step, step. Clap, clap. 508 00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:49,363 ETHAN: Work it, girl. Work it. 509 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:54,194 - Here we go. Here we go. - Oh, come on. You can get this. 510 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,072 - Take off! These are our tarts! - Get outta here. 511 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,954 OK, again. 512 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,999 Go. Get down. 513 00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:08,628 LAURENCE: Do you really think he's seen all your films? 514 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,800 EVE: Of course not. But I think it's sweet that he pretends he has. 515 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:16,220 - And you never miss it? - Oh, God, no. 516 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:21,645 We always did it for different reasons. 517 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,186 - We did? - Yeah. 518 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:27,185 You did it, well, you still do it, 519 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,528 for the work, for the challenge of the work, 520 00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:32,649 for the absences the work affords. 521 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,151 I always thought of the family as integral to my work 522 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,825 and you thought of it as detrimental to your work. 523 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:38,992 LAURENCE: Did I? 524 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,123 EVE: Speaking about mixing family and work, 525 00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:44,085 Ethan has this movie he wants me to act in with him. 526 00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:45,669 Good part? 527 00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:49,298 A mother in a wheelchair, apparently. 528 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,634 Mmm. 529 00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:55,220 Do you think it could be changed to a father in a wheelchair? 530 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,055 Possible Oscar bait. 531 00:32:57,184 --> 00:32:59,597 "He walks away with it. 532 00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:02,562 I'm supporting." 533 00:33:02,689 --> 00:33:05,397 - "I'm supporting." - "I'm supporting." 534 00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:10,520 "We start out supporting and we end up supporting." 535 00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:37,929 Hi. 536 00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:42,268 (IN SPANISH) Hello. Tomas, ask her who the cute boy is. 537 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,187 My sister wants to know who Harry Potter is. 538 00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:46,772 Who? 539 00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,226 That's Dylan. 540 00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:52,945 He's your boyfriend? 541 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,564 - He's my cousin. - Ah. 542 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:55,940 (IN SPANISH) What did she say? 543 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:59,069 (IN SPANISH) His name's Dylan. He's not her boyfriend. He's her cousin. 544 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:00,866 (IN SPANISH) Oh, good. I'll go over. 545 00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,829 (IN ENGLISH) My sister says, "Oh, good." 546 00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,415 Good? 547 00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:10,876 Um, he's actually my first cousin... He's my first cousin once removed. 548 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:15,043 - (IN SPANISH) I don't understand her. - I think she likes Harry Potter. 549 00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,257 But he's her cousin. 550 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:20,473 That's disgusting. They'll have children with 15 fingers. 551 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,434 No, he's her second cousin, so they'll probably have normal fingers. 552 00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:26,437 But they're cousins. I'm going. 553 00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:32,276 - (IN SPANISH) Hello. - Hi. 554 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:34,612 - (IN SPANISH) How are you? - (IN ENGLISH) I'm good. 555 00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:36,363 So how old are you? 556 00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,574 DYLAN: Oh, Girl At War. 557 00:34:42,038 --> 00:34:43,074 OK. 558 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:51,746 Do you need some help? 559 00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:52,917 Sure. 560 00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:56,292 But first I have to confess something. 561 00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:57,839 OK. 562 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,765 I had my first serious snog to Up All Night In The Diner With Julie. 563 00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:07,102 Snog. That's... That's English for "make out," right? 564 00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:09,267 Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue. 565 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:13,981 Alright, well, that was a... that was a great choice to, uh, snog to. 566 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,525 - It was amazing. - I'm glad to hear it. 567 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:20,358 So, being a bit of a fan, can I ask you three questions? 568 00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:22,610 Alright. Go for it. 569 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,197 Why did you stop writing? 570 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,418 Who said I stopped? 571 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:35,339 Right. OK. 572 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:40,340 - Why did you leave your band? - Oh, it was never really my band. 573 00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,462 It was our band. 574 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,591 But, you know, you got a lead singer with a huge personality. 575 00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:48,219 It was always gonna be her band in the end. I mean, rightly so. 576 00:35:48,355 --> 00:35:50,438 And is that why you left? 577 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,774 No, honestly, I, uh... 578 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:57,440 You know, that whole rock 'n' roll lifestyle thing, 579 00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:01,407 it just... wasn't that important. 580 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,326 Not fame or money? 581 00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:08,698 No, it's not everything. I mean, I figured that out pretty early. 582 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,754 OK, uh, I have two questions. 583 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:18,340 - Oh. Really? - Yes, I do. 584 00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:20,050 What is an Orange Prize? 585 00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:24,342 - Oh, my God, you googled me. - No, please. 586 00:36:24,474 --> 00:36:27,057 No, Eve told me one of Harold's daughters was a novelist 587 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,768 and it's obviously not Rose. 588 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,388 She said that an Orange Prize had been won. 589 00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:36,939 An Orange Prize is an award they give to first-time female authors, 590 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,150 and I didn't win, I was shortlisted. 591 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:41,689 Congratulations. 592 00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:44,943 - Was it autobiographical? - Why do you ask that? 593 00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:46,364 Oh, come on. 594 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:51,454 It's about an older sister who's kind of attractive in a bookish kind of way 595 00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:53,997 who lives with her hipster, skirt-chasing dad 596 00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:58,123 and wild-child younger sister and they all live on red wine and pizza? 597 00:36:58,258 --> 00:37:00,591 - You read it. - Sure. 598 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,006 Gotta check up on my new stepfamily. 599 00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:06,422 Some of it was me, yeah, but most of it wasn't. 600 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,676 - I can't actually cook a chicken Kiev. - Not a problem. 601 00:37:09,811 --> 00:37:12,349 - But I do like books. - Obviously. 602 00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:16,482 Do you know, I would prefer if you referred to me 603 00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:19,568 as kind of sexy in a librarian way rather than bookish. 604 00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,062 - You would prefer that? - Yes. 605 00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:23,689 Well, you need glasses for sexy librarian. 606 00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:39,088 Soul patch. 607 00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:42,545 EVE: "Such duty as the subject owes the prince, 608 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:45,090 Even such a woman oweth to her husband. 609 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:46,632 And if she is froward, 610 00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:51,806 peevish, sullen, sour, and not obedient to his honest will, 611 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,724 What is she but a foul contending rebel 612 00:37:54,856 --> 00:37:58,691 And graceless traitor to her loving lord?" 613 00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,270 I'm not just a fuckin' movie star. 614 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,408 PRISCILLA:It's Priscilla< for Guy. No, I don't wanna hold. 615 00:38:08,536 --> 00:38:10,152 I don't wanna hold. I don't wanna hold. 616 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,450 Yeah. I wanna write a book. 617 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:16,325 About me. 618 00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,586 You've never seen any of my films? 619 00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:25,084 I don't think so. 620 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:27,382 Do you go to the theater? 621 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:29,380 - What? - Not if we can help it. 622 00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:33,180 Wait, hang on. Were you in the last SpongeBob film? 623 00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,643 I was indeed. 624 00:38:34,771 --> 00:38:38,390 - Oh, my God. I love SpongeBob. - Oh, yeah? 625 00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:41,609 You used to be quite good-looking. You've put on some weight, though. 626 00:38:41,736 --> 00:38:46,026 - Come on, Saffie. Let's get a drinkie. - Actually, I've lost weight. 627 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:49,491 - What'd I miss? - My whole career, apparently. 628 00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,402 - That's it. I'm moving out. - What? 629 00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:54,451 You're killing me with the second-hand smoke and you don't even care. 630 00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:57,996 I do care. But you're not dead yet. 631 00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:01,120 Go over there and have the fresh air. Go on. 632 00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:04,214 Fifty bucks says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner. 633 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,334 No way. Fifty it's before the main course. 634 00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:09,462 A hundred it's before the salad and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV. 635 00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,429 - That's bold. - Watch and learn. 636 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,135 - I'll take dessert. - Alright, man. 637 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,561 So wait, wait, wait. You guys met in a jailhouse for women? 638 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,681 It's actually a really good way to meet people. 639 00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:21,941 Here we go, here we go. 640 00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:31,026 I, for one, would like to commend Eve on her optimism and her perseverance 641 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,573 and, of course, her courage... 642 00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:35,287 HAROLD: Ha-ha! 643 00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:38,783 ...in taking this plunge yet again. 644 00:39:38,918 --> 00:39:41,376 - ETHAN: Brave girl. - LAURENCE: I must say, I was surprised. 645 00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:47,045 In fact, I would have wagered my Tony Award for my performance 646 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:50,669 - in Pirandello's Henry IV... - ETHAN: Bastard. 647 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:56,426 ...against the idea that you would ever tread down this path again, my darling. 648 00:39:56,561 --> 00:40:00,180 But having met Harold, I think I get it. 649 00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:02,477 To Eve and Harold. 650 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:03,891 ALL: To Eve and Harold. 651 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,272 - Harold. - Here you go. 652 00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,323 PRISCILLA: So, lovebirds, hey. 653 00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:19,950 I... I know it's customary to give the gifts after the wedding, 654 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:22,747 but I really wanna give you my gift now. 655 00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:23,915 - Right now. - EVE: Sure. 656 00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:26,755 - HAROLD: Love it. - JIMMY: Cheers. 657 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:32,044 ♪ Hey, little sister, what have you done? 658 00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:37,721 ♪ Hey, little sister, who's the only one? 659 00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:41,895 ♪ Hey, little sister, who's your superman? 660 00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:44,686 ♪ Little sister, who's the one you want? 661 00:40:44,817 --> 00:40:46,809 ♪ Little sister, shotgun 662 00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:52,065 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde wedding 663 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,078 (VOCALIZES) 664 00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:06,541 ♪ Hey, little sister, who's it you're with? 665 00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:12,543 ♪ Hey, little sister, what's your vice or wish? 666 00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:16,968 ♪ Hey, little sister, shotgun, oh, yeah 667 00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,888 ♪ Little sister, who's your superman? 668 00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,385 ♪ Little sister, shotgun 669 00:41:21,521 --> 00:41:27,392 ♪ It's a nice day to start again 670 00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:31,988 - ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde wedding - Wow. 671 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:40,280 ♪ It's a nice day to start again 672 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,032 (VOCALIZES) 673 00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:48,795 That's your daughter. 674 00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:51,757 ♪ What have you done? 675 00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:57,596 ♪ Hey, little sister, who's the only one? 676 00:41:58,558 --> 00:42:01,016 ♪ I've been away for so long 677 00:42:01,144 --> 00:42:04,103 ♪ I let you go f or so, so long, now 678 00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:06,096 ♪ Hey, little sister, shotgun 679 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:10,226 - ♪ It's a nice day to start again - Care to dance? 680 00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:17,325 ♪ Oh, it's a nice day for a Wilde wedding 681 00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:24,746 - Fuck off. - ♪ It's a nice day to start again 682 00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:30,086 Hello. This is James Darling. 683 00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:31,876 I called yesterday trying to track down 684 00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:37,299 the young lady who drove the Montauk bus that did not arrive at 11:45, 685 00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:40,047 and you asked me why I wanted to contact her, 686 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:45,936 and, well, the reason is when I saw her, 687 00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:49,228 in her not-very-flattering jitney uniform, by the way, 688 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:56,447 when I saw her, the little voice in my head said, "This is the one." 689 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,531 Ah, fuck! 690 00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:01,242 - Easy, man. I'm not a horse. - What happened? 691 00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:03,657 - Gentle. - Jimmy? 692 00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:04,826 Jimmy? 693 00:43:04,957 --> 00:43:11,124 Oh. I... I fucking tripped over the "Beware of Slope" sign. 694 00:43:11,255 --> 00:43:13,338 (LAUGHTER) 695 00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:17,676 - Oh, my God, that is too funny. - Alright, Mom. 696 00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:19,928 It's just a grade-one ankle sprain. 697 00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:23,549 There's no sign of anterior talofibular disruption. 698 00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:26,518 Really, that's your professional diagnosis? 699 00:43:26,646 --> 00:43:28,012 LAURENCE: It is indeed, James. 700 00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:32,482 One of the great things about acting on the stage 701 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:35,318 is that one gets to inhabit a role, 702 00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:41,158 and you might be aware that I have rather famously played a doctor. 703 00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,277 Doctor Dolittle? 704 00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:45,028 And your point is? 705 00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:48,532 You bandaged the leg of an animatronic giraffe, 706 00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:51,081 singing "If I Could Talk to the Animals"? 707 00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:56,466 And I was complimented on my technique by numerous physicians. 708 00:43:56,592 --> 00:43:57,628 Bravo. 709 00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:03,802 Actually, I would like to compliment you, Laurence, 710 00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:07,017 on your very gracious toast. 711 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:09,137 I meant every word I said. 712 00:44:09,272 --> 00:44:14,188 You are amazingly courageous, amazingly tenacious 713 00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:17,811 and amazingly naive. 714 00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:19,942 Said the old cynic. 715 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,691 Come on, Laurence, what are you still holding out for? 716 00:44:22,827 --> 00:44:27,367 I'm not holding out. I like my birdcage empty, thank you. 717 00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:32,209 Anyway, why would I want a new wife and new family 718 00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:35,625 when I already have the best ex-wife 719 00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:39,340 and raised the most perfect family any man could want? 720 00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:43,337 Oh, my God, Dad, you have lived in a hotel suite for the last 30 years. 721 00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:44,929 With one fucking bedroom. 722 00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:47,515 When we wanted to see you, we had to check in. 723 00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:50,260 (CHUCKLES) 724 00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:54,307 I think marriage is challenging, formidable 725 00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:58,311 and to be taken very seriously, 726 00:44:58,446 --> 00:45:01,780 like a great heroic adventure. 727 00:45:01,908 --> 00:45:05,242 Captain Scott heading o ff into the Antarctic. 728 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:07,452 Does that make me the South Pole? 729 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:12,741 Where I would be very happy to plant my flag. 730 00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:16,958 (LAUGHS) 731 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:21,379 (GIGGLING) 732 00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,635 - (VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS) - Yeah! 733 00:45:37,318 --> 00:45:39,401 (SAM LAUGHS) 734 00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:46,616 SAM: Look at this one. 735 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,666 See ya. 736 00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:10,341 You did remember the birdcage. 737 00:46:11,310 --> 00:46:17,056 How could I forget the best piece of advice an ex-wife ever gave to a man? 738 00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:19,274 "You can't lock me up." 739 00:46:19,944 --> 00:46:22,061 Lock you up? 740 00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,939 - Yes. - Oh, God. 741 00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:29,569 After all these years, and you had no clue. 742 00:46:30,830 --> 00:46:34,665 - It's not about you. - It's not? But I hate that. 743 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:37,375 No, no, the birdcage 744 00:46:37,503 --> 00:46:41,087 was so you could keep the next Mrs. Darling from flying away. 745 00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:43,340 Like the first one did. 746 00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,504 Oh. 747 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:47,127 - It was? - Yes. 748 00:46:47,263 --> 00:46:51,052 No, wait, I thought it was because, you know, you can fly in, 749 00:46:51,183 --> 00:46:55,723 but then if you wanted to fly out, you know, to meet up with other roosters... 750 00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:57,137 Oh! 751 00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,771 Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron? 752 00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,693 Gone inside. 753 00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,662 Homemade chocolates? 754 00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:17,453 They're super delicious and a lot of fun. 755 00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:20,752 What sort of fun? 756 00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:23,504 Let's just say they're in the 'shroom family. 757 00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:25,715 (BOTH LAUGH) 758 00:47:34,060 --> 00:47:36,222 Wanna go for a moonlight ride? Vroom, vroom! 759 00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:38,846 - Mm-hm. - Hm? 760 00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:41,064 I'll go change. 761 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,908 Do you know what's great about us? 762 00:47:53,662 --> 00:47:56,154 We've been through all the bad times. 763 00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:00,033 One of the benefits of being apart so long 764 00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:05,130 is that somebody else had to take the knockout punches. 765 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:10,878 And on that note, think I'll have another drink. Anyone? 766 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:14,055 No, I won't. I'm getting married in the morning. 767 00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:16,137 I should think about going to bed. 768 00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:18,472 The night is young. 769 00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:24,357 (PLAYS PIANO INTRO) 770 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:29,355 PRISCILLA: Eve and Laurence have started in on the merits of marriage. 771 00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:33,070 It's funny how they didn't have that conversation 30 years ago. 772 00:48:33,202 --> 00:48:34,534 PRISCILLA: Isn't it? 773 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:38,288 (PLAYS PIANO INTRO) 774 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,543 (PRISCILLA PLAYS HIGHER NOTES) 775 00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:56,222 - I think that's enough of that. - Alright. 776 00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:10,774 Fuck. 777 00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,531 Fuck, fuck. 778 00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:19,955 (CHUCKLES) 779 00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,077 EVE: Have you ever thought 780 00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:25,293 what might have happened if you'd never gotten me that part? 781 00:49:25,421 --> 00:49:28,710 Yeah, I might have been mentioned in one of the reviews. 782 00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:32,672 I meant what might have happened with us. 783 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,798 I don't know. Would it have been different? Probably. 784 00:49:37,933 --> 00:49:42,143 Would it have been better? I don't know. Better than this? 785 00:49:44,732 --> 00:49:48,100 What if Harold feels there's no room for an ex-husband? 786 00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,520 There's always room. 787 00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:54,489 Ah, but maybe no more room for this. 788 00:49:58,204 --> 00:50:00,287 May I tempt you? 789 00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,245 I have a wedding dress to fit into. 790 00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:13,584 You're going to be the most beautiful bride. 791 00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:23,393 Hmm. 792 00:50:26,398 --> 00:50:27,730 Psst. Hey. 793 00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,900 You wanna bake a cake? 794 00:50:31,654 --> 00:50:34,146 - OK. - Fantastic. Let's go. 795 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:35,522 Come on. 796 00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,238 ETHAN: Whoo! 797 00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:41,453 (ROSE SCREAMS) 798 00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:47,201 - You feel anything? - Yeah. I feel fucking amazing! 799 00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:51,080 Alright, I will chop the mint, you pick the tune. 800 00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,582 Music is important. 801 00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:55,876 So what are we actually doing here, Gordon Ramsay? 802 00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:59,595 Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut? 803 00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:02,010 No. What is it? 804 00:51:02,184 --> 00:51:03,800 (♪ "CHAMBERMAID SWING" BY PAROV STELAR) 805 00:51:03,936 --> 00:51:07,020 Nice. Austrian Swing. 806 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,764 Is that a lucky guess or an excellent choice? 807 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:12,392 - No, it's not a lucky guess. - Really? 808 00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:16,029 Yeah, I spent two nights in a soggy tent in Glastonbury 809 00:51:16,156 --> 00:51:18,739 just so I could shake my bum to these gentlemen. 810 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:21,526 It's having the same effect on my ass too, right. Come here. 811 00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,370 OK, the chiffonade cut, you need a knife with a long, thin blade 812 00:51:24,498 --> 00:51:27,036 and a handle that you can hold like a sword. 813 00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:28,624 Right. 814 00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:32,211 You know, I read that list of things that psychopaths are good at, 815 00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:35,545 and cooking is right up there at the top. 816 00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:37,793 I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are. 817 00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,261 Guy who taught me's got two Michelin stars. Let's go. 818 00:51:40,389 --> 00:51:43,302 Oh, my God. You're Hannibal bloody Lecter. 819 00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:44,925 PRISCILLA: Oh, hi. 820 00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,018 Um... 821 00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:49,684 I was just on my way up to bed. 822 00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:52,606 OK. 823 00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:55,102 Yeah. Um... 824 00:51:56,739 --> 00:52:00,073 If you see Sam, will you send him up? 825 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,736 OK. 826 00:52:03,621 --> 00:52:05,112 (CLEARS THROAT) 827 00:52:05,247 --> 00:52:07,330 (LAUGHS) 828 00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:15,705 - Good night. - Good night. 829 00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,707 - Good night. - Night. 830 00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:26,971 You know, I'm feeling a little bushed myself. 831 00:52:27,102 --> 00:52:29,389 I think it's the jet lag. 832 00:52:29,521 --> 00:52:32,138 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 833 00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:34,357 - Really? - Yeah. 834 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:36,726 Sleep well. 835 00:52:39,865 --> 00:52:42,778 This is the best wine I've ever had. 836 00:52:44,953 --> 00:52:50,449 Normally it's an OK little winery, but 2009 knocked it out of the park. 837 00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:56,880 And it goes deliciously with these chocolates. 838 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,215 Oh, thank you. 839 00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:05,012 Mmm. 840 00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,100 - You're making me dizzy. - (LAUGHS) 841 00:53:10,229 --> 00:53:12,061 (DISTANT HOWLING) 842 00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:15,648 - (HOWLS) - Shh! Shh! 843 00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:17,768 - Be quiet. - Shh! 844 00:53:17,903 --> 00:53:20,486 - My dad... - You be quiet. "My dad." 845 00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:21,900 Harold! 846 00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:24,490 (♪ "HOOKED ON YOU" BY PAROV STELAR) 847 00:53:24,618 --> 00:53:27,611 ♪ I suffocate if I can't inhale your love, girl 848 00:53:28,122 --> 00:53:29,784 ♪ So addicted to you 849 00:53:29,915 --> 00:53:31,747 ♪ I get no rush without you 850 00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:35,789 ♪ I suffocate if I can't inhale your love, girl 851 00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:37,920 ♪ So addicted to you 852 00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:42,125 ♪ So addicted to you 853 00:53:44,596 --> 00:53:46,178 ♪ So addicted to you 854 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:50,429 ♪ To you 855 00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,644 I wasn't a very good husband. 856 00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:02,654 Or father either, for that matter. 857 00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:06,199 Just couldn't say no 858 00:54:07,619 --> 00:54:09,986 to the work, 859 00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:12,580 to the women, 860 00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,791 to life's pleasures. 861 00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:23,088 And marriage puts a stop to all that, doesn't it? 862 00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:25,881 It does tend to, yes. 863 00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:31,467 "The cradle rocks above an abyss, 864 00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:34,185 and common sense tells us 865 00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:38,102 that our existence is but a brief crack of light 866 00:54:38,233 --> 00:54:41,101 between two eternities of darkness." 867 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:43,361 Vladimir Nabokov. 868 00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:52,283 Our time in the light is nearly done. 869 00:54:54,625 --> 00:55:00,838 I sometimes wonder if we should really be saying no to anything 870 00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:04,799 before we face the long night. 871 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,424 So I'm making a collection of face masks. 872 00:55:12,559 --> 00:55:13,845 (CHUCKLES) 873 00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:15,593 What do you think? 874 00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:18,688 You've done this professionally, right? 875 00:55:18,816 --> 00:55:20,728 Well, I don't know. 876 00:55:20,901 --> 00:55:22,688 Like, I've never actually been paid for it, 877 00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:27,030 so I don't think you could say that I'm a professional. 878 00:55:27,533 --> 00:55:32,995 But, um, I've done it, like, 50 times and I've only lost two people. 879 00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:35,617 - Lost? - Yeah. 880 00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:37,832 Wait a minute. 881 00:55:38,418 --> 00:55:42,253 The breathing part is a bit tricky. 882 00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,247 (CHUCKLES) 883 00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,419 OK. 884 00:55:46,635 --> 00:55:48,752 Stop. Stop. 885 00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:49,923 You're ticklish. 886 00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:06,319 Sorry, kid. 887 00:56:07,948 --> 00:56:10,031 What are you made of, rocks? 888 00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:15,282 Alright, I can do this. 889 00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,170 OK. OK. OK. 890 00:56:38,979 --> 00:56:41,062 Did you lose something? 891 00:56:44,192 --> 00:56:45,558 Yeah, yeah, actually. 892 00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:47,811 Um... Uh... 893 00:56:47,946 --> 00:56:51,064 The engagement ring that you never gave back. 894 00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:52,406 Oh. 895 00:56:52,534 --> 00:56:54,571 - Well, it's not down there. - Really? 896 00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,696 No. Wanna check the other side? 897 00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:05,453 OK, OK, wait, wait, wait. 898 00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:08,127 Mackenzie can never, ever, ever know about this. 899 00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:12,002 - Oh, God. Or Sam. - Of course, of course. 900 00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,926 And Eve. 901 00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:19,768 - Don't tell your mother, right? - Oh, God, no. God, no. No, not... 902 00:57:21,396 --> 00:57:23,729 And you know, Laurence, you know I love your father, I do. 903 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:26,190 No. God, he's the most fucking indiscreet person I know. 904 00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,980 - OK. - Ooh! 905 00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:30,444 Oh, God. Oh, God. OK, I'm here. Here we go. 906 00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:31,858 Just carry on. 907 00:57:31,990 --> 00:57:34,482 (OPERA) 908 00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:53,296 (LAUGHS) 909 00:57:56,515 --> 00:57:58,051 LAURENCE: What? 910 00:57:58,183 --> 00:58:00,175 I don't know who's worse; 911 00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:02,677 you for putting this on, 912 00:58:04,022 --> 00:58:06,981 or you for watching this. 913 00:58:40,851 --> 00:58:43,389 It's hardly a comedy. 914 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:48,481 (JIMMY LAUGHS) 915 00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,767 (GLASS SMASHES) 916 00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:54,270 - My love. - Yes? 917 00:58:54,406 --> 00:58:57,444 - My love. - Harold, are you drunk? 918 00:58:57,576 --> 00:59:01,160 I just had the most smashing bottle of wine 919 00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:04,031 with your smashing ex-husband, 920 00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:07,075 who I think is smashing, by the way. 921 00:59:07,210 --> 00:59:09,623 Ah. Well, I'm glad that's going so well. 922 00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:13,999 It is, but what's not going well, my dearest, is us. 923 00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:20,256 - Oh, yes? - Yeah. I'm... I'm pining for you. 924 00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:26,811 How can you leave me to languish on this moonlit night 925 00:59:26,938 --> 00:59:30,852 alone in my bed and you alone in yours? 926 00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:34,102 Alright, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go. 927 00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:36,775 It's bad luck to sleep together the night before. 928 00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,901 - But I... - I'll bend the rules so far. 929 00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,748 That's... That's your lot. 930 00:59:57,344 --> 00:59:59,336 (HOUSE MUSIC) 931 00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:02,927 I feel a lot of love about the things... 932 01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:11,765 Love is in the air. 933 01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:13,562 JIMMY: ♪ In the air 934 01:00:13,693 --> 01:00:16,686 ♪ In the air, love 935 01:00:16,822 --> 01:00:19,314 ♪ In the air 936 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,031 LAURENCE: The last one's up. 937 01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:28,205 Laurence, my sofa! 938 01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:38,795 It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage. 939 01:00:41,429 --> 01:00:43,512 I'm gonna get another bottle. 940 01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:04,617 PRISCILLA: On the scale of bad ideas, where do you think this... this one is? 941 01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:09,284 Uh, I would say it's, uh, somewhere between 942 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:14,122 when I kissed George Michael thinking it was you... 943 01:01:14,254 --> 01:01:15,461 (LAUGHS) 944 01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:19,458 ...and you remember that time I surprised you on tour? 945 01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:22,176 - Oh, yeah, that was bad. - That was terrible. 946 01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:25,843 - Listen, I... - Yeah, I... 947 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:27,761 - SAM: Mom! - Fuck. 948 01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,976 Hey, will you turn the light out? 949 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,139 Why? 950 01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:35,982 - Mom! - OK, I'm... I'm gonna borrow this. OK? 951 01:01:36,109 --> 01:01:37,520 RORY: Huh? 952 01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:43,777 - SAM: What are you doing? - PRISCILLA: Just borrowing a book. 953 01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:45,816 - Why are you up? - SAM: I had a nightmare. 954 01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,236 You were singing one of your new songs. 955 01:01:48,788 --> 01:01:50,871 PINK: Yeah, it's pretty sick having your own blog. 956 01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:52,956 Like, you can just post whatever you want. 957 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:56,828 My mom or whoever can't come on and be, like, "You can't post that." 958 01:01:58,548 --> 01:02:00,005 (PHONE BEEPS) 959 01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:04,718 Oh, my God. I do not fuckin' believe that. 960 01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:06,587 - That is my phone. - Who's "the boss"? 961 01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:10,433 - That's my phone. Give that to me. - It's the size of a fucking log. 962 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,644 Saffie, that spanking could do some serious damage. 963 01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,729 Get the fuck off of me! 964 01:02:15,857 --> 01:02:18,770 And don't you dare call me Saffie, you nosy bitch. 965 01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:22,152 What? 966 01:02:46,471 --> 01:02:50,181 - You see it? That star over there? - What is that? Is that the Bear? 967 01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:52,470 I don't know. Is it? I'm asking you. 968 01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:12,745 PINK: Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut! 969 01:03:20,714 --> 01:03:23,832 (WOMAN GASPS) 970 01:03:28,430 --> 01:03:30,046 (HAROLD GRUNTS) 971 01:03:34,019 --> 01:03:35,806 (SPEAKS PORTUGUESE) 972 01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:41,774 (SPEAKS PORTUGUESE) 973 01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:42,937 God! 974 01:03:47,365 --> 01:03:48,401 HAROLD: Yes! 975 01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:51,359 Fuck. Fuck. Yes! 976 01:03:51,786 --> 01:03:54,699 (YELLING CONTINUES) 977 01:04:00,128 --> 01:04:02,336 (YELLING CONTINUES IN THE DISTANCE) 978 01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:34,864 Fuck. 979 01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:40,661 Fuck. 980 01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,756 (SNORING) 981 01:04:57,477 --> 01:05:00,185 Fuck. Fuck! 982 01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:02,430 (YELLS) Fuck! 983 01:05:02,565 --> 01:05:04,682 (YELLS) 984 01:05:13,118 --> 01:05:14,609 (GROANS) 985 01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:34,299 (HORN BEEPS) 986 01:05:34,472 --> 01:05:36,555 (SCRUBBING) 987 01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:38,299 Oh, my God. 988 01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:47,233 The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead. 989 01:06:05,211 --> 01:06:06,622 Oh, God. 990 01:06:11,259 --> 01:06:13,717 (PHONE BEEPS) 991 01:06:13,845 --> 01:06:16,929 (SPEAKS PORTUGUESE) 992 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,473 (SIGHS) 993 01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:48,619 I'm not gonna marry Harold. 994 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:50,333 What? Why? 995 01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:54,129 EVE: I've been up all night, pacing around. 996 01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:57,298 What was I thinking, getting married again? 997 01:06:57,430 --> 01:07:00,468 I have my family, the people that mean the most to me. 998 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,637 And you know what I realized? 999 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,433 There is only so much room in the old attic. 1000 01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:10,729 OK, sorry. You... You lost me. 1001 01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:15,104 New people. All that baggage has to go somewhere. 1002 01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:17,072 To make room, I'd have to start rearranging 1003 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,283 everything that's already up here. 1004 01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:24,447 New or different doesn't necessarily mean better. 1005 01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,544 What am I gonna do? 1006 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:38,257 Well, we've been here before, having similar conversations, 1007 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:42,132 normally after the marriage has taken place. 1008 01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:47,012 So, in a way, I suppose we could say we're making progress. 1009 01:07:47,146 --> 01:07:48,353 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1010 01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,473 Come in. 1011 01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:08,707 It's disgusting. It's disgusting! It's despicable! 1012 01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:11,118 - It's embarrassing! - What? What? 1013 01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,543 How many other of my friends have you shagged? 1014 01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,336 Tell me, Dad. How many are there? Just tell me. 1015 01:08:17,468 --> 01:08:21,963 - What do you take me for? - What do you mean? A fucking pervert. 1016 01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:28,636 - Where is that stupid fucking bitch? - Rose. Rose. Darling! 1017 01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:29,974 ROSE: Where are you? 1018 01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:33,315 You fucking slut! I'm gonna knock your head off! 1019 01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:36,311 Fucking my dad? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1020 01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:38,608 - (BANGS ON DOOR) - (SPEAKS PORTUGUESE) 1021 01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:42,108 SAM: Wow. This got more hits than the piano-playing kitty. 1022 01:08:42,285 --> 01:08:45,198 PINK: What do we have here? 1023 01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:47,572 Looks like Harold, 1024 01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:50,450 no, "the boss," and Saf f ie. 1025 01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:52,459 If I ever see her again, I'm gonna kill her. 1026 01:08:52,587 --> 01:08:53,623 Oh, my God. 1027 01:08:53,796 --> 01:08:56,539 Although it is lucky that she happened to be outside with her phone. 1028 01:08:56,674 --> 01:09:00,213 ROSE: Pink's a blogger, Dad. Course she had her phone. 1029 01:09:00,345 --> 01:09:04,089 PINK: Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm getting this on camera right now. 1030 01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:08,259 Oh, yeah."The boss" is Harold. 1031 01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:14,814 Nice. That's awesome, Sam. 1032 01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,355 Good job, Sammy. 1033 01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:21,654 (SIGHS) 1034 01:09:21,783 --> 01:09:24,150 You knew, didn't you? 1035 01:09:24,285 --> 01:09:26,151 I wanted to come to see you, 1036 01:09:26,287 --> 01:09:30,998 but I was wondering if maybe by now, 1037 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:35,836 you had developed a spirit of wry realism 1038 01:09:35,963 --> 01:09:38,421 with regards to "happily ever after." 1039 01:09:39,092 --> 01:09:40,458 Wry realism? 1040 01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:46,260 Yes, well, maybe you were finally ready to live with bumpily ever after. 1041 01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:49,341 Bumpily ever after? 1042 01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:53,312 - You think I'm making a mistake? - With Harold? No. 1043 01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:55,772 Harold's fine. I personally have nothing against him. 1044 01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:58,643 But you deserve way, way better. 1045 01:09:59,153 --> 01:10:02,487 You deserve to be loved 1046 01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:05,070 because you've always been there to give love. 1047 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,692 You deserve to be honored 1048 01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:13,082 because you carried this family single-handedly on your shoulders. 1049 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:16,498 And now it's your turn to take a ride. 1050 01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:22,250 My love, you spent the entire night pacing back and forth in your jammies 1051 01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:24,172 and you still look so damn cute, 1052 01:10:24,303 --> 01:10:26,920 and that deserves to be cherished. 1053 01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:33,306 And maybe it was no... accident 1054 01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:36,476 that Harold messed up last night. 1055 01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:06,839 Oh, Dad. 1056 01:11:09,223 --> 01:11:11,306 You've embarrassed us. 1057 01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:18,515 What you did, it was just creepy in so many ways. 1058 01:11:20,318 --> 01:11:22,901 - You watched her grow up. - I know. 1059 01:11:23,070 --> 01:11:25,062 She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake. 1060 01:11:25,198 --> 01:11:28,566 I know. I never meant... It was... 1061 01:11:29,911 --> 01:11:32,028 I want... I just... 1062 01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:34,280 I packed up all my books. 1063 01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:36,619 I really wanted this to work. 1064 01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:41,457 (SIGHS) Such a... idiot. 1065 01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,465 Yeah, you are. 1066 01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:48,336 I thought it was romantic. 1067 01:11:49,263 --> 01:11:54,349 I thought you'd finally found someone to spend the rest of your life with. 1068 01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:56,264 That you weren't gonna be alone. 1069 01:11:56,437 --> 01:12:00,056 I wasn't gonna have to worry about you living on cold pizza anymore. 1070 01:12:00,191 --> 01:12:02,604 Oh, darling, that was not our relationship. 1071 01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:08,447 I thought you'd changed. 1072 01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,284 I'm so, so sorry. 1073 01:12:14,497 --> 01:12:16,580 - Come on... - What am I gonna do? 1074 01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:32,342 Well, first of all, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. 1075 01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:37,680 And then we'll all go back to London 1076 01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:41,431 and to the shame of you having been caught having sex 1077 01:12:41,566 --> 01:12:44,274 with a woman nearly 40 years your junior. 1078 01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:48,650 And then you'll have to move to Italy 1079 01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:51,899 where they don't have a problem with that sort of thing. 1080 01:12:53,452 --> 01:12:55,990 (♪ "WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE?" BY LEO REISMAN) 1081 01:13:05,006 --> 01:13:10,092 ♪ What is this thing called love? 1082 01:13:12,430 --> 01:13:18,392 ♪ This funny thing called love 1083 01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:25,732 ♪ Just who can solve its mystery? 1084 01:13:27,028 --> 01:13:32,524 ♪ Why should it make a f ool o f me? 1085 01:13:34,452 --> 01:13:40,915 ♪ I saw you there one wonder f ul day 1086 01:13:41,959 --> 01:13:48,081 ♪ You took my heart and threw it away 1087 01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:51,333 ♪ That's why I ask the Lord 1088 01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:55,512 ♪ In heaven above 1089 01:13:56,557 --> 01:14:02,804 ♪ What is this thing called love? 1090 01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,274 (DOOR OPENS) 1091 01:14:10,237 --> 01:14:11,523 (MUSIC STOPS) 1092 01:14:13,991 --> 01:14:15,357 I gather you've heard. 1093 01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:20,488 - I've gone and ballsed this up. - My cue to exit. 1094 01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:22,159 HAROLD: No. 1095 01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,411 You may as well stay. 1096 01:14:27,672 --> 01:14:31,586 Eve, I really wanted to be that man. 1097 01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:34,460 The best man, you know, for you. 1098 01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:40,887 You were so utterly fucking fabulous 1099 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:44,227 and gorgeous and smart and charming, 1100 01:14:44,397 --> 01:14:46,764 and I thought I could change. 1101 01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,017 But it's just not me. 1102 01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:55,280 I'm so sorry that I have caused you this humiliation. 1103 01:14:55,408 --> 01:14:59,869 I just wish I could have it all directed at me. 1104 01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:05,874 Harold. 1105 01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,922 You might want to think about growing up. 1106 01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:17,962 Chasing 25-year-olds at your age, it looks very sad. 1107 01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:20,381 I look like a swine. 1108 01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:23,683 Way more sad than that. 1109 01:15:25,104 --> 01:15:27,312 I am so fucked. 1110 01:15:28,315 --> 01:15:32,059 LAURENCE: Harold, before you start flagellating yourself like a monk, 1111 01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:33,810 may I say something? 1112 01:15:33,946 --> 01:15:38,611 Eve is a fabulous woman, she's a major catch, 1113 01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,909 and I'd say that sadly, from experience, you're the one who lost out here. 1114 01:15:44,582 --> 01:15:47,120 And if it makes you feel any better, 1115 01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:52,246 the reason I'm here in her bedroom is because she wanted to tell me 1116 01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:55,374 that she wasn't going through with the marriage, 1117 01:15:55,509 --> 01:16:00,846 and this was before you broke the internet 1118 01:16:00,973 --> 01:16:04,967 with your Legends of the AARP vine. 1119 01:16:28,793 --> 01:16:29,829 Hey. 1120 01:16:31,003 --> 01:16:32,494 I'm so sorry. 1121 01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:33,916 RORY: You know what? 1122 01:16:34,048 --> 01:16:38,588 When it comes to apologizing for parents who behave badly, 1123 01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,711 we are a family of world champs. 1124 01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,433 - Thank you. - Sure. 1125 01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:52,223 I did not expect this weekend to pan out like this. 1126 01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,065 No. 1127 01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:56,276 How is everybody? 1128 01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:59,904 Rose and Saffron aren't speaking. 1129 01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,282 I don't think they ever will again. 1130 01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:03,650 That bad, huh? 1131 01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:06,119 Well, not until they both coincidentally 1132 01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:09,452 have teenage children in rehab in Minnesota. 1133 01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:13,752 How about you? 1134 01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:20,043 I think I'm done trying to worry everyone into making the right decision. 1135 01:17:20,177 --> 01:17:24,342 They always make the same stupid decision they were going to anyway. 1136 01:17:24,473 --> 01:17:27,762 I think it's my turn to make a stupid decision, actually. 1137 01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:41,317 - I'm sorry. That was really stupid. - No, no, no, no. 1138 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,943 I can be way more stupid than that. 1139 01:18:00,801 --> 01:18:03,339 So how did you see this weekend panning out? 1140 01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:09,133 - Well, kind of like this. - (CHUCKLES) 1141 01:18:09,852 --> 01:18:11,935 And what gave you that impression? 1142 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:15,772 How we chop mint. 1143 01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:19,526 We've got the same taste in music. 1144 01:18:20,779 --> 01:18:22,566 That is important. 1145 01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:24,781 Yes, it is. 1146 01:18:24,909 --> 01:18:31,577 And you got a whole lot of new material for your next novel. 1147 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,790 Yeah, masses. 1148 01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:37,419 You know what I think? 1149 01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:42,211 I think you should stay in New York 1150 01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:45,802 and do a little research on some of the American characters. 1151 01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,556 Well, I can think of one. 1152 01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:51,845 OK. 1153 01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:56,187 But I'm a little worried that he wants to eat me 1154 01:18:56,315 --> 01:18:59,353 with some fava beans and nice chianti. 1155 01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:03,979 RORY: Look, I think I ought to tell you something. 1156 01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:14,323 You don't have to say goodbye. Just jump in the car. 1157 01:19:14,458 --> 01:19:15,699 HAROLD: It's great to see you. 1158 01:19:15,834 --> 01:19:17,917 - Thank you so much. - Bye. 1159 01:19:18,045 --> 01:19:20,537 Bye. Bye. 1160 01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:40,770 I have a lot of answering to do, to all of you, and I will. 1161 01:19:41,902 --> 01:19:44,770 But for now I want you to know 1162 01:19:44,905 --> 01:19:47,773 that I'm so sorry for having let you all down. 1163 01:19:47,908 --> 01:19:50,491 But I promise you, 1164 01:19:50,619 --> 01:19:54,078 we will get over this and we will move forward, together. 1165 01:19:54,206 --> 01:19:56,368 Yeah, right, Dad. 1166 01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:59,243 - I'm stopping off in New York. - What? 1167 01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,371 Probably gonna stay for a few months. 1168 01:20:02,506 --> 01:20:05,169 - You two are on your own. - No, Clemmie. 1169 01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:07,884 You'll be fine. You'll be fine. 1170 01:20:12,599 --> 01:20:17,219 Mom, if you sleep with your friend, does it ruin the friendship? 1171 01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:21,268 - Oh. Well, it never did for me. - Really? 1172 01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,608 Yeah, but I can count my real friends on one hand. 1173 01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:26,228 I mean, actually, I don't even need one hand. 1174 01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:34,617 You know, the important part is not working on staying friends afterwards. 1175 01:20:34,747 --> 01:20:36,830 That's what ruins it. 1176 01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:42,043 But you don't have to worry about that. You're gonna have kids with 15 fingers. 1177 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:45,130 - Way bigger things to worry about. - Oh, my God. 1178 01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:46,964 - Giant gloves. - That's not... 1179 01:20:47,092 --> 01:20:49,880 - Maybe mittens. That's better, right? - That's not even funny. 1180 01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,342 Alright. 1181 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:55,511 - I'm a good mommy. - Yeah. 1182 01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:57,508 - I gotta go. - Why? 1183 01:20:58,520 --> 01:21:00,603 I gotta go call Sam's dad. 1184 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:03,022 OK. 1185 01:21:10,282 --> 01:21:12,820 Oh, God. I'm gonna have to say something. 1186 01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:31,626 I'll do it. 1187 01:21:58,288 --> 01:22:01,656 Hello, everyone. I have an announcement to make. 1188 01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:09,457 After much deliberation and mature reflection by the parties in question, 1189 01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:12,299 it has been mutually decided 1190 01:22:12,428 --> 01:22:17,890 that the advertised wedding will not be going forward. 1191 01:22:18,016 --> 01:22:24,559 Now, I know that's a disappointment to everyone, but look at it this way. 1192 01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:30,061 (BRITISH ACCENT) At least we won't have to have pasta after the ballet. 1193 01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:34,781 Too soon. Very well. 1194 01:22:35,784 --> 01:22:37,491 Uh, boys. 1195 01:22:40,038 --> 01:22:44,078 Boys, if you would, a clever and imaginative toast, please? 1196 01:22:44,209 --> 01:22:45,950 To calling it off? 1197 01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:51,252 Well done. To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1198 01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:53,875 - Cheers. - To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1199 01:22:54,011 --> 01:22:58,346 However, Judge McCaffery is here. Everything is set up. 1200 01:22:58,974 --> 01:23:01,637 Why not take advantage? 1201 01:23:01,768 --> 01:23:04,886 So would anyone like to get married today? 1202 01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:06,888 Anybody at all? It's all on us. 1203 01:23:07,024 --> 01:23:11,940 Actually, it's on Eve, because I'm incredibly cheap. 1204 01:23:12,070 --> 01:23:13,106 Anybody? 1205 01:23:15,782 --> 01:23:18,900 No, OK. Well, I have a suggestion. 1206 01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:21,486 Eve? 1207 01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:25,457 Eve, show yourself. 1208 01:23:29,963 --> 01:23:32,046 (APPLAUSE) 1209 01:23:39,056 --> 01:23:43,847 My dear, before another marriage ends in divorce or death, 1210 01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:48,267 why don't we just cut to the chase and tie the knot? 1211 01:23:48,398 --> 01:23:49,434 (GASPING) 1212 01:23:49,566 --> 01:23:50,602 What? 1213 01:23:50,734 --> 01:23:54,353 I mean, if there is somebody else you'd like to marry first, 1214 01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:57,731 before you remarry me, that's fine. 1215 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,614 - Boys, what do you think? - You're on your own here, Dad. 1216 01:24:01,745 --> 01:24:06,115 - I definitely wanna hear this. - Mom, it's Dad, so a prenup is a must. 1217 01:24:07,501 --> 01:24:09,993 Thanks, kids. You're out of the will. 1218 01:24:10,128 --> 01:24:11,744 (CHUCKLING) 1219 01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:18,843 Eve, I've done some stupid things in my life. 1220 01:24:19,638 --> 01:24:23,348 But that was actually the younger, dumber me. 1221 01:24:25,936 --> 01:24:28,019 I remember him well. 1222 01:24:29,606 --> 01:24:32,064 LAURENCE: I constantly hear people say 1223 01:24:32,192 --> 01:24:35,606 they're looking for the person they wanna grow old with. 1224 01:24:37,489 --> 01:24:41,950 But we're here, now, living it right now. 1225 01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:44,865 I wanna grow old with you. 1226 01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:47,614 I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. 1227 01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:51,667 Will you be my wife? 1228 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,878 Will you marry me? 1229 01:24:56,341 --> 01:24:57,752 Again? 1230 01:25:13,817 --> 01:25:15,558 Yes. 1231 01:25:29,541 --> 01:25:30,952 Come on down here. 1232 01:25:32,711 --> 01:25:34,122 I do. 1233 01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:40,800 Then I pronounce you man and wife. 1234 01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,911 All in all, I would have to say 1235 01:26:09,039 --> 01:26:13,534 it was one of Eve's more entertaining family get-togethers. 1236 01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:16,537 Laughter, tears, love and sex. 1237 01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,040 Who could quibble? 1238 01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:24,010 Do you know where your grandmother is? Sorry. One second. I'll be right back. 1239 01:26:24,137 --> 01:26:26,220 I just wanted to show her something. 1240 01:26:26,973 --> 01:26:30,967 And could you cut the "grandmother" bit? Otherwise it's... 1241 01:26:37,984 --> 01:26:39,020 Actors. 1242 01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:41,819 (PIANO INTRO) 1243 01:26:56,753 --> 01:27:00,087 PRISCILLA: ♪ I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste 1244 01:27:00,215 --> 01:27:02,502 ♪ A flannel for my face 1245 01:27:02,634 --> 01:27:05,126 ♪ Pajamas, a hairbrush 1246 01:27:05,303 --> 01:27:07,841 ♪ New shoes and a case 1247 01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:10,181 ♪ I said to my reflection 1248 01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:14,973 ♪ Let's get out of this place 1249 01:27:15,689 --> 01:27:18,978 ♪ Past the church and the steeple 1250 01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:21,146 ♪ The laundry on the hill 1251 01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:24,236 ♪ The billboards and the buildings 1252 01:27:24,364 --> 01:27:26,230 ♪ Memories of it still 1253 01:27:26,366 --> 01:27:31,532 ♪ Keep calling and calling 1254 01:27:31,663 --> 01:27:33,905 ♪ But forget it all 1255 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:36,077 ♪ I know I will 1256 01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:41,792 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1257 01:27:42,966 --> 01:27:47,336 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1258 01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:50,214 ♪ What's been going on 1259 01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:52,681 ♪ Now that you have gone 1260 01:27:52,809 --> 01:27:55,643 ♪ There's no other 1261 01:27:56,271 --> 01:28:00,515 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1262 01:28:01,693 --> 01:28:05,983 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered... 1263 01:28:08,658 --> 01:28:09,694 MACKENZIE: Look at them, 1264 01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:13,786 standing around the piano like they're singing "The Circle of Life" 1265 01:28:13,914 --> 01:28:17,498 when they're actually singing a song about cheating. 1266 01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:19,208 See? I told you. 1267 01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:24,998 When it comes to my family, love is just one big mystery. 1268 01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,295 ♪ Now that you have gone 1269 01:28:27,427 --> 01:28:29,919 ♪ There's no other 1270 01:28:31,014 --> 01:28:34,849 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1271 01:28:36,186 --> 01:28:40,180 SQUEEZE: ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1272 01:28:43,026 --> 01:28:47,316 ♪ Well, I was tempted by the fruit of another 1273 01:28:49,074 --> 01:28:52,613 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1274 01:28:54,204 --> 01:28:57,572 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1275 01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:02,827 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1276 01:29:04,422 --> 01:29:07,756 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another 1277 01:29:09,553 --> 01:29:12,842 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered 1278 01:29:13,723 --> 01:29:16,431 ♪ Now what's been going on 1279 01:29:32,617 --> 01:29:34,700 Wait for it. 1280 01:29:37,080 --> 01:29:38,537 Wait. 1281 01:29:40,292 --> 01:29:41,783 Going. 1282 01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:44,869 Going. 1283 01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:49,374 Gone. 1284 01:29:58,101 --> 01:30:00,184 Almost dark. 1285 01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:13,147 There. 1286 01:30:28,173 --> 01:30:30,916 Subtitles (English): BTI Studios 1287 01:32:50,356 --> 01:32:54,100 ♪ We, we are the ones who love you 1288 01:32:54,611 --> 01:32:56,978 ♪ We are the ones who hurt you 1289 01:32:57,447 --> 01:32:59,814 ♪ We are the ones who heal you 1290 01:33:01,701 --> 01:33:05,866 ♪ I, I wanna see into the shadows 1291 01:33:05,997 --> 01:33:08,705 ♪ I can take a bit of madness 1292 01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,620 ♪ It's lucky 'cause we've seen a lot 1293 01:33:14,047 --> 01:33:17,165 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1294 01:33:19,594 --> 01:33:22,086 ♪ And I never said that we'd be fine 1295 01:33:25,308 --> 01:33:28,597 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1296 01:33:30,980 --> 01:33:33,848 ♪ And with you this chaos seems divine 1297 01:33:36,111 --> 01:33:40,196 ♪ So let's hear it for the mothers 1298 01:33:40,323 --> 01:33:42,986 ♪ Sisters, dads and brothers 1299 01:33:43,118 --> 01:33:45,405 ♪ We're all in the same old mess 1300 01:33:47,455 --> 01:33:51,574 ♪ I, I don't wanna see into the future 1301 01:33:51,709 --> 01:33:54,372 ♪ 'Cause I'm OK if I can reach you 1302 01:33:54,504 --> 01:33:56,666 ♪ And I'll take that above all else 1303 01:33:59,634 --> 01:34:02,718 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1304 01:34:05,265 --> 01:34:07,973 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine 1305 01:34:11,020 --> 01:34:14,388 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1306 01:34:16,693 --> 01:34:19,561 ♪ And with you this chaos seems divine 1307 01:34:22,532 --> 01:34:25,616 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1308 01:34:28,121 --> 01:34:30,784 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine 1309 01:34:33,793 --> 01:34:37,252 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1310 01:34:39,465 --> 01:34:42,503 ♪ And with you this chaos seems divine 1311 01:35:19,672 --> 01:35:22,665 ♪ I never said that this was organized 1312 01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:27,966 ♪ And I never said that we'd be fine 1313 01:35:30,934 --> 01:35:34,427 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years 1314 01:35:36,773 --> 01:35:39,641 ♪ And with you this chaos seems divine 1315 01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:48,440 ENGLISH SDH 1316 01:35:49,305 --> 01:35:55,577 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org101606

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