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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:13,250 "Area 51" Secret US Military Base 4 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:38,125 Was the White House informed? No. The President is on the hustings. 5 00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:42,375 Don't let it slip! It would provoke a global mass hysteria. 6 00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:46,500 - We imposed a gag order. - Does the Pentagon think it's dangerous? 7 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:50,333 General, I recommend Defcon 2. 8 00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:02,625 Be careful, Sir. 9 00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:12,875 - Oh my God! - Watcha lookin' at? 10 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:17,625 300 years later 11 00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:10,333 Once upon a time our ancestors came from Earth to colonize Mars. 12 00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:13,333 Today we return to Earth... 13 00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:16,833 to once and for all annihilate its petty inhabitants! 14 00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:21,250 Jens, my trusty disciple, our vision has come true. 15 00:03:21,958 --> 00:03:23,917 Earth is ours now! 16 00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:58,833 Queen Metapha, we are defenseless. 17 00:03:59,042 --> 00:04:04,167 The attack met us unprepared. Our fleet has been destroyed. 18 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:08,458 - How can that be? - They have our shield access codes! 19 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:12,708 They can even eavesdrop in on local calls. 20 00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:17,417 - Majesty, we must surrender! - No, you cannot do that! 21 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,417 Pardon me. 22 00:04:20,542 --> 00:04:25,500 Those Martians came down upon us like grasshoppers. 23 00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:28,833 We can't just twiddle our thumbs now! 24 00:04:29,042 --> 00:04:33,625 In two hours the Mars Regulator may be sitting there, on your throne! 25 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:37,208 - There could be one last chance. - What do you mean? 26 00:04:38,292 --> 00:04:39,375 Time travel. 27 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:45,375 - That is unjustifiable. - But time travel is prohibited! 28 00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:49,458 I think we can bend the rules a little. Please go on. 29 00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:54,083 We must travel back in time and prevent the colonization of Mars. 30 00:04:55,000 --> 00:05:00,292 - Thus, we prevent this war. - Absurd! We don't even know... 31 00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:05,167 whether time travel is safe for humans. We've never tested it. 32 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:09,458 - And who would be able to do this? - I was thinking of... 33 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:14,083 - the Surprise crew! - Oh Goodness! Those of all people! 34 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:17,875 'Cause we're so pretty and so canny and so slim and so slender 35 00:05:18,042 --> 00:05:21,417 We'll be Miss Waikiki! 36 00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:26,917 And shower to the left! And shower to the right! 37 00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:29,917 And don't forget the soap! 38 00:05:30,042 --> 00:05:33,208 One more time! And five, six, seven, eight 39 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:37,292 Five, six, seven, eight And touch and push! 40 00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:41,417 And touch and push! And towel to the left! 41 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:45,750 And towel to the right! And don't forget the willy! 42 00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:49,208 Dry the willy to the beat! 43 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:57,375 - You cannot be serious! - They are mankind's last hope. 44 00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:00,542 Or are there any volunteers? 45 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:05,750 Are you saying that these... these people are the only ones... 46 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:09,292 - who can save the world? - If you really want to know, senator Eric: 47 00:06:10,292 --> 00:06:10,792 Yes! 48 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:17,875 We have no idea where they are. No word from them in years! 49 00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:21,167 Then we have to find them, don't we? 50 00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:01,417 There they are! 51 00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:07,625 - How could they bear away this far? - Hail them! 52 00:07:07,792 --> 00:07:10,875 - There are in the back of beyond! - I bet. 53 00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:24,875 Captain's log no. 1 of our Traumschiff Surprise, Captain Kork. 54 00:07:25,042 --> 00:07:27,458 It's way too chilly for this stardate. 55 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,750 All 40 men of my crew are in good health. 56 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:34,000 Only two have a slight cold. Guenther has blackboard duty for this week. 57 00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:38,292 I am worried that in five months from now we'll run out of stamps. 58 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:42,708 Got to do something about that. Later. Today we have our yearly... 59 00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:47,042 health check. Looking forward to having my temperature taken. 60 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,250 If all is fine, I'll have a nice cutlet with french fries and ketchup, 61 00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:54,250 a small mixed salad and a large root beer. 62 00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:04,958 - The same fagging every year! - The Honolulu bathing season starts soon! 63 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:09,417 You really need a flawless waistline if you want to be Miss Waikiki! 64 00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:12,500 But it's tough on my intervertebral discs. 65 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,958 Do Vulcanettes even have intervertebral discs? 66 00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:17,625 - None of yours, you dumb cow! - He's not even a purebred Vulcanette. 67 00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:19,917 - Oh, I am! - No, you're a mongrel! 68 00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,208 I am a Vulcanette Vulgaris. We can live for up to 400 years... 69 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,667 because we are a type of Galapagos turtle! 70 00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:29,458 - And what are you? - I'm the captain. 71 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:32,917 - You just screwed your way up! - And your point is...? 72 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,458 Galapagos turtle! That's why you're so slow! 73 00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,083 And you have a baboon's ass! 74 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,667 Oh dear... 75 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:43,583 - So? - Your values are disastrous, as always. 76 00:08:46,042 --> 00:08:48,917 This is Groans. What's up? 77 00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:51,875 Someone from Earth, for the captain. 78 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:52,792 I'm not here. 79 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:53,667 He's not here. 80 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:57,125 Tell Mr. Nasi to turn on the answering machine. 81 00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:58,375 Got it? Groans out. 82 00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,625 Let's go! Get ready for the hovering test. 83 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,917 Yes! 84 00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:08,000 There are certain difficulties in contacting the Surprise. 85 00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:13,417 - But you have their coordinates! - Yes, but... there's just the machine. 86 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:14,583 What? What? 87 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,000 They're available from Monday through Friday from 4 to 5 pm. 88 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:22,208 I don't believe it. Get these jerks NOW! There's not much time left! 89 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:23,792 Aye, Sir! 90 00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,125 Wonder what those guys are doing up there? 91 00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:28,625 Picking nose and swinging balls! 92 00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:30,417 Picking nose and swinging balls! 93 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:34,000 Starting today it's push-ups and knee bends! 94 00:09:34,542 --> 00:09:35,625 Whatever. 95 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:37,833 Commencing hovering test. 96 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:48,292 Jeez, those asses won't move a bit! 97 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:56,167 Oh my, now what do we have here? 98 00:09:56,833 --> 00:10:00,708 I better put this away before the captain bags it. 99 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,875 - Captain, why aren't we hovering yet? - Doc, why aren't we hovering yet? 100 00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:17,667 Cheese cake and chocolates all the time! You're too fat to be weightless! 101 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,417 I used to be in the hovering club! 102 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,417 I was the youngest ever in the hovering marathon! 103 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,917 I made my license in freestyle hovering when I was 12, and at the age of 14... 104 00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:30,417 I won the Gold Star at the national youth hovering contest in Swabia! Yessir! 105 00:10:32,042 --> 00:10:34,917 I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods! 106 00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:36,833 Adieu! 107 00:10:37,875 --> 00:10:40,083 - Did you know he's got cellulitis? - Where? 108 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,792 Honestly! Up in his room. 109 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,458 Just wait, I'll get you yet! 110 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,875 Yes! I'm hovering! 111 00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:54,250 Mr. Smock, come up here! It's wonderful up here! 112 00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,167 - I can't! - He can't. 113 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,125 C'mon, flat out, doc! 114 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,250 - Is that all you got? - Geez, really! 115 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:10,125 I just can't get that fat Vulcanette up! 116 00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:21,667 - Hey, what's that? - Bloody cheek! 117 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,833 - What's going on there? - Geez, really! 118 00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:33,125 - Hi! - That's mine. 119 00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:37,250 - Who left his roller skates lying here? - There! 120 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:42,583 Miss Bora-Bora! Next time you'll have a one-week ban on cheese cake! 121 00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:44,917 And out with that chewing gum! Mr. Nasi, what's the situation? 122 00:11:45,042 --> 00:11:45,875 Ha, Captain... (continues in Kantonese) 123 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,375 Did you understand what he just said, Mr. Smock? 124 00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:06,000 - Bora stuck her tongue out at me! - That's no emergency, Mr. Nasi! 125 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:12,792 Captain, there's something going on. Someone sending an emergency signal. 126 00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:17,417 - But it's quite faint. - Emergency signal? I don't believe it! 127 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:20,458 Captain? Careful, don't get too close. 128 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:25,083 The automatic control system shows a low sliding factor. 129 00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:29,333 They use modulated pulsing vibrations... 130 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,125 to get through to us. 131 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:35,458 - So? - Shall I allow penetration, Captain? 132 00:12:36,292 --> 00:12:38,708 Never! We can't let that happen! 133 00:12:38,917 --> 00:12:40,833 Mutt speed! 134 00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:49,125 Mutt speed! 135 00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:54,833 Captain, with all due respect, but mutt speed's no dice right now. 136 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,792 - Why not? - Pug's broken. 137 00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:57,875 Well. Let's call it a day. 138 00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:01,167 - Captain? - What now? 139 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,125 I don't know what it is, but... 140 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,000 it's heading toward us. 141 00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:09,333 Oh my, madness. What a stress! 142 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,542 Read it! 143 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,333 Red alert. 144 00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:24,542 Set course for Earth and contact the government immediately. 145 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,833 No way! We're in the middle of training for the Miss Waikiki contest! 146 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,583 We really have to prioritize here, right Mr. Smock? 147 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,208 - Captain? - Yes, Buttovich? 148 00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:38,875 Disobeying orders can get you having your shore leave cancelled. 149 00:13:44,417 --> 00:13:47,792 - Majesty, we heard from the Surprise. - Finally. What do they write? 150 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,667 "Need something from the convenience store?" 151 00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,750 - What do they mean? - Maybe it's a code. 152 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,500 When do they get here? We have less than an hour! 153 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:01,375 They could make it in 20 minutes with mutt speed. 154 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:04,958 - But there's a problem. - What kind of problem? 155 00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:06,458 Pug damage. 156 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:10,500 Yes, I know. I've been in treatment for a while. 157 00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:20,333 I hope they don't try to beam. It would kill them over that distance. 158 00:14:20,542 --> 00:14:23,667 Get ready to beam! Activate! 159 00:14:24,083 --> 00:14:27,125 To be beamed or be beamed not you need to be on the right spot! 160 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,167 Shoo! 161 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:47,542 - Spotty, you mad? - Mutiny! 162 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,875 Do that again and you'll have a single room on Honolulu! 163 00:14:50,042 --> 00:14:52,792 - Geez, really! - Those things happen on Economy. 164 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:58,208 Economy? Are you stupid? I'm the captain! You beam me in Business! 165 00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:00,208 The battery's too weak for Business. 166 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,333 That beam goat probably left the lights on again. 167 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,167 Careful, here he comes. 168 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,292 Aha! Out with that! 169 00:15:15,417 --> 00:15:17,708 - What is that? - Friendship rings. 170 00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:21,542 From a befriended DA. That's all I'll say about that. 171 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,125 And what's in your pants? 172 00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:31,417 - None of yours! - Pants down. 173 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,958 - Huh? - Pants down! 174 00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:34,167 Yehes! 175 00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,833 - Radiation protection. - What for? 176 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,333 Beaming always gets on my balls. 177 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:47,375 Captain, I can't beam like that! 178 00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:49,500 Okay! But then you pay the cab! 179 00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:58,750 - What is your report? - Grab a seat, Regulator! 180 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:03,875 Madam Metapha got real crazy boombastic plan! The plan is... 181 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,750 The Plan is... the plan... 182 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,958 Okay, I forget. Sorry, Regulator-man, listen! 183 00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:16,875 I write information on paper and call you back later. Ok? 184 00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:19,875 Walkie talkie, man! 185 00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:25,208 What was that? Since when do dabblers work for my empire? 186 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,958 My Regulator, that one was a special offer at Rent-a-Spy. 187 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:34,042 We got this cactus for free with it. But I can send him back. 188 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:38,167 - Make it so. But we'll keep the cactus. - Yes, master. 189 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,625 Jens, my trusty disciple. I have a mission for you. 190 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:42,917 Whassup? 191 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:48,875 Find out what those Earth maggots are planning, so I can finally crush them. 192 00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:51,917 Crushing! That's good! 193 00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:58,500 Make our ship more beautiful! Make our ship more beautiful! 194 00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,833 Make our ship more beautiful! 195 00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:06,375 - Make our ship more beautiful! - Well, yeah, okay. 196 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,667 Give her something! 197 00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:13,875 Thanks! Save the whales! Find Nemo! 198 00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:15,708 - Got your passport? - Sure. 199 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:19,042 - Closed the window? - Yes, I even closed the jalousies. 200 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:23,333 I told you not to do that! Everyone will know we're not at home! 201 00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:24,708 - Arguing again? - Go away. 202 00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:28,083 - There's something on you head. - That is my travelling hat. 203 00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:32,500 - Why do you need a travelling hat? - I'm paying the cab, so I'll come along. 204 00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:35,208 - And what's that? - That's Jutta. My reading lamp. 205 00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:36,583 It's saved my life before. 206 00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:41,750 What kind of junker is that? 207 00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:44,542 - Bargaining again, huh? - I like it. 208 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,458 Who of you ordered a cab? 209 00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:33,917 Me! That was me! That was my idea! 210 00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:37,917 - Who of you guys wants in the back? - Me! Me! Me! 211 00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:39,417 I want the window seat! 212 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,958 - You cooing? - What? 213 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:53,125 - You're cooing over him! - No, I'm not. 214 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,333 - Then let him coo a little. - Shut up and look out the window. 215 00:18:56,500 --> 00:19:00,125 - So, where to? - Earth. City of Government. 216 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:03,417 - Whoops! That'll be expensive. - Why's that? 217 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:07,750 Right now, it'd be easier to give someone plastic surgery during an earthquake 218 00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:12,083 than to arrive there in one piece. They're firing heavy ordnance down there. 219 00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:16,542 Oh yes, life vests and parachutes should be somewhere below that seat. 220 00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:20,250 - Maybe we should get out of here? - He's just boasting. 221 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:24,458 No problem. Just fly. I am expected by the government. 222 00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:27,542 My name is Captain Kork. Capricorn. 223 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,292 And I am Hermes. Messenger of the Gods. 224 00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:33,500 - And what is your name? - My name is Rock. 225 00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:35,083 Soft- or Hard Rock? 226 00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:00,625 Grab onto something! 227 00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:06,208 Yes! 228 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,500 You can now buy free goods. Anyone care for some music? 229 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:23,208 Sure! 230 00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:04,625 What's the commotion? 231 00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:07,958 Okay girls, party's over. 232 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:13,500 I'll report that one! Spotty, record that plate number! 233 00:21:21,042 --> 00:21:22,917 Anyone got an eraser? 234 00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:25,000 To think I went to the washing bay yesterday! 235 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,750 Just stop it! I'll be getting spots from all this stress! 236 00:21:59,125 --> 00:22:02,208 Blow slowly, girls, or you'll get dizzy. 237 00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:12,375 Okay, now we have a problem. This is the captain. Don't mind the shaking. 238 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,292 We only lost our shields, one thruster went down... 239 00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:17,833 and the plasma tank is leaking. 240 00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:21,250 I noticed that! The general condition of your... 241 00:22:21,417 --> 00:22:23,167 Sit down, man! 242 00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:31,125 Turn right at the rotary. 243 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:48,208 You are approaching the exit. Geez, finally! 244 00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,000 Turn right after 500 metres. 245 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:55,875 Not so good right now. 246 00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:59,458 You took the wrong turn! 247 00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,417 C'mon, baby, don't let me down! 248 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:49,375 - Could you turn off the air conditioning? - Could you shut up for a second? 249 00:23:51,958 --> 00:23:54,125 If possible, please reverse course. 250 00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,083 Good idea! 251 00:23:58,792 --> 00:23:59,667 Please wait. 252 00:24:22,917 --> 00:24:25,708 You are approaching your destination. 253 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:30,292 Ensalada mista, Baby! 254 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:43,000 Don't be foolish. Your city is completely surrounded. 255 00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:47,250 My Cookie squadron will be ready to attack in a few minutes. 256 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:51,625 If you haven't signed the unconditional surrender by then... 257 00:24:51,875 --> 00:24:55,417 I will destroy you. 258 00:24:55,667 --> 00:24:59,750 It is futile. We have to surrender while we still have a chance. 259 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,958 You are right. We cannot wait any longer for the crew of the Surprise. 260 00:25:14,667 --> 00:25:18,667 - That must be them. - Heyho! Is the cheese cake ready? 261 00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:23,375 Inform the queen! 262 00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:29,958 That was en vogue then. 263 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:31,917 I can't read that. 264 00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:33,708 - Rock. - Rock and what? 265 00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:36,875 - Rock Thats-It. - What? 266 00:25:37,042 --> 00:25:40,250 My ex-wife's name is Thats. Mine's It. That's it. 267 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:50,083 Thank you, Mr. Thats-It. You have been of great help to us. 268 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:53,375 What? And who'll pay for the damage? 269 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:57,083 - A new paint job will do, I think. - Yes! Pink Camouflage! 270 00:25:57,750 --> 00:26:01,875 What? That was a 45 Space Cruiser, a lowrider with sport suspender! 271 00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:06,292 Trace elements made of Burmese titanium! It made double speed of light 272 00:26:06,583 --> 00:26:10,750 in less than 1.5 seconds! That kind of machine cannot be painted... 273 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,667 in Pink Camouflage! 274 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,667 Try to be sensible, Mr. Thats-It. 275 00:26:16,042 --> 00:26:20,125 - We have other problems here! - Oh yeah? Well I don't give a damn! 276 00:26:20,667 --> 00:26:23,000 All I care about is that my cab is totalled! 277 00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:26,458 And all that just because I had to bring you these three molls! 278 00:26:27,625 --> 00:26:29,500 I bet he's that small...! 279 00:26:29,625 --> 00:26:33,833 You guys pay for the repairs and I'm out of here. Okay? 280 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,417 And until that happens, I'll just sit here, on this chair, and wait. 281 00:26:39,208 --> 00:26:43,542 Well, I don't know about you, but I could do with some coffee now. 282 00:28:02,042 --> 00:28:04,833 - Chocolate? - Nooo! 283 00:28:11,458 --> 00:28:15,583 - It's bitter chocolate by Rosetto. - It's the brand with the Rosetto-Moor. 284 00:28:17,417 --> 00:28:18,292 I'm... 285 00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:20,250 not ready for that. 286 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:27,000 - Who is that? - A cab driver. We still need to pay him. 287 00:28:29,042 --> 00:28:30,083 Ladies and Gentlemen... 288 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:36,042 The chairman of the intercontinental security council. 289 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,958 Majesty! 290 00:28:42,208 --> 00:28:43,500 Esteemed senators! 291 00:28:45,208 --> 00:28:51,000 300 years ago, on July 22nd, 2004 at precisely 5.35 pm, 292 00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:54,667 a UFO crashed into the desert of Nevada. 293 00:28:54,875 --> 00:28:59,333 In that UFO, our scientists found information from a galaxy far far away. 294 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:03,625 It was only with that knowledge that we were able to colonize Mars. 295 00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:08,708 We could prevent the colonization of Mars and thus, this war, 296 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,917 by travelling into the year 2004... 297 00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:15,000 and destroying implied UFO. 298 00:29:17,417 --> 00:29:20,417 But how can the UFO be completely neutralized? 299 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:23,458 With this Swiss pocket laser! 300 00:29:23,667 --> 00:29:26,667 Know a nice place to go clubbing? 301 00:29:26,917 --> 00:29:29,250 - Captain? - Yes, right, absolutely! 302 00:29:29,417 --> 00:29:33,958 - That's how I would do it. - Good. Because you will be doing it. 303 00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:35,917 - What? - Yeah, right! 304 00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:37,542 - We? No dice! - No dice! 305 00:29:37,708 --> 00:29:39,375 That's totally impossible! 306 00:29:39,667 --> 00:29:41,458 - We don't have time for that. - So sorry. 307 00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:43,500 We need to prepare for the Miss Waikiki contest. 308 00:29:44,292 --> 00:29:46,875 If you refuse this mission, captain... 309 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,875 there will never be a Miss Waikiki contest again! 310 00:29:49,333 --> 00:29:50,875 Bring in the time machine! 311 00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:12,250 - Spotty, Smock, follow me. - I want the window seat! 312 00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:18,125 Shouldn't we tell them the machine has never been tested? 313 00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:25,250 Captain... you are our last best hope. 314 00:30:25,667 --> 00:30:30,833 - What? I'd rather send a monkey! - Animal welfare wouldn't let us. 315 00:30:31,125 --> 00:30:34,500 You should put on these glasses. Time travel is bad for your eyes. 316 00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:41,333 The ignition key will start the machine. With these coordinates.. 317 00:30:41,583 --> 00:30:44,167 you set destination time and place. 318 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:48,417 - Stop it or we'll leave you here! - Confirm by pressing the green button. 319 00:30:56,625 --> 00:31:00,167 This button activates a countdown. Everything else is in this book. 320 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:04,958 Don't lose it or you'll never come back! And don't waste energy. 321 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:10,583 - The manual! - Travelling with you is no fun at all! 322 00:31:10,750 --> 00:31:11,500 I'll get it! 323 00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:18,375 The Mars Regulator just ordered his Cookie squadrons to attack! 324 00:31:18,708 --> 00:31:19,833 All exits are blocked! 325 00:31:20,208 --> 00:31:22,417 - We must get you to a safe place! - But I can't just... 326 00:31:22,583 --> 00:31:24,792 We have no choice. Get onto the time machine! 327 00:31:29,833 --> 00:31:32,167 I'll stay here until my cab has been repaired! 328 00:31:32,333 --> 00:31:33,250 We're doomed! 329 00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:35,792 - Senator! - Majesty! 330 00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:37,708 There's something you need to know! 331 00:31:38,042 --> 00:31:38,542 What is it? 332 00:31:41,417 --> 00:31:42,667 I forgot to pack my bra. 333 00:31:46,167 --> 00:31:49,375 - Here. Take mine. - Thank you! 334 00:31:50,458 --> 00:31:51,250 It's okay. 335 00:31:52,542 --> 00:31:55,458 Press the start button! 336 00:31:55,583 --> 00:31:56,625 Got it! 337 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:02,375 Spotty! Heel! 338 00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:08,375 Maybe I'll find a better place to sit. 339 00:32:18,542 --> 00:32:19,625 Yee, here we go! 340 00:32:21,125 --> 00:32:22,000 Spotty! 341 00:32:24,458 --> 00:32:26,292 This will have serious consequences! 342 00:32:28,500 --> 00:32:30,792 - What are you doing here? - I wonder that, too! 343 00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:33,458 - You're messing everything up! - Including me! 344 00:32:33,583 --> 00:32:36,958 - Does this thing have a seat heater? - No, but I sat there just a moment ago. 345 00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:40,583 Spotty is sneaking out of this again! Now it'll be single room, definitely! 346 00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:43,000 Brace yourself! Glasses on! 347 00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:23,083 - I am glad to see you, Lord Shawl. - Boot licker. 348 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:26,208 - What's that? - Rosetto's bitter chocolate. 349 00:33:26,458 --> 00:33:27,708 It's the brand with the Rosetto-Moor. 350 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,875 - Thanks. And exit! - Aye, Sir! 351 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,917 The government building of the Earth alliance was successfully taken over. 352 00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:37,958 Excellent! 353 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:40,708 All politicians were locked into the washhouse. 354 00:33:40,792 --> 00:33:41,375 Perfect. 355 00:33:41,542 --> 00:33:44,375 Queen Metapha was able to escape with a time machine. 356 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:47,250 What? How could you let that happen, asshole? 357 00:33:47,375 --> 00:33:53,083 Yes. You're right. But we were able to seize the manual of the time machine. 358 00:33:53,917 --> 00:33:55,500 Goooood. 359 00:33:57,167 --> 00:33:59,833 I'm going to make a phone call. 360 00:34:17,625 --> 00:34:18,625 Wow! 361 00:34:19,292 --> 00:34:21,167 The time machine works! 362 00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:22,750 Unbelievable. 363 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,375 - Now we can... - Prevent my wedding! 364 00:34:26,583 --> 00:34:29,250 - What? - Or go see Elvis live! 365 00:34:29,708 --> 00:34:32,250 The end of the world is near - and you think of Elvis? 366 00:34:32,417 --> 00:34:34,958 My hearties, I dreamed of football just now. 367 00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:39,500 I dreamed I was a pastry cook and shaped a quarterback from marzipan. 368 00:34:39,667 --> 00:34:43,500 Then I added a lucky coin and stuck it into the shop window with the tarts. 369 00:34:55,875 --> 00:34:58,917 - What country did you enter? - I didn't enter anything. 370 00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:03,000 - Captain! Get up! Look, a pony! - Where are we? 371 00:35:03,458 --> 00:35:05,417 A petting zoo! 372 00:35:09,667 --> 00:35:13,542 - Dammit! - Oh my! Rowdies everywhere! 373 00:35:15,458 --> 00:35:18,333 July 22nd, 1304. A short miss. 374 00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:33,208 - Neat thing you got us into. - I didn't do anything. 375 00:35:33,417 --> 00:35:36,417 Then maybe you should do something now. 376 00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:42,583 Keep cool, princess. We'll be gone in a second. 377 00:35:59,292 --> 00:36:03,333 Dear Romans! We came from the future to save the world! 378 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,417 Smocky, take a picture. 379 00:36:10,667 --> 00:36:13,208 Say cheeese...! 380 00:36:14,458 --> 00:36:16,458 Witchcraft! Catch them! 381 00:36:25,958 --> 00:36:28,333 I'm out of here! 382 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,625 - Who is he? - Who? 383 00:37:46,708 --> 00:37:48,000 - He! - Ah, I see. 384 00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:50,250 Who is he? 385 00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:53,125 Speak, you sleazy son of a dog! 386 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,625 What did you do to the woman? 387 00:37:57,750 --> 00:37:59,875 Is he of noble blood? 388 00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:06,167 My name is Til Schweiger, and I make my living as an actor. 389 00:38:06,750 --> 00:38:09,417 It's not much, but it's enough for two weeks of vacation in a year. 390 00:38:10,375 --> 00:38:12,375 And what do you do, throne farter? 391 00:38:15,208 --> 00:38:19,208 My lord, he is a liar. This man is certainly not an actor. 392 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,875 But he has got guts. I was told he was a remarkable fighter. 393 00:38:24,417 --> 00:38:28,792 An important tournament takes place tomorrow. My honor is at stake... 394 00:38:29,167 --> 00:38:34,292 but my best horseman was overrun by a crusade last week. Nasty thing. 395 00:38:34,583 --> 00:38:39,000 - How about putting up danger signs? - Do we have danger signs? 396 00:38:39,292 --> 00:38:43,250 No, Sire, but Lady Andrew has some spare crosses. 397 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:48,292 - Yes! Put up Andrew's Crosses! - Hey, great idea! Can I go now? 398 00:38:48,583 --> 00:38:52,583 It is his fault my substitute fell from his horse. 399 00:38:52,875 --> 00:38:56,792 Hence, he will have to win the tournament for me tomorrow. 400 00:38:57,042 --> 00:39:01,417 If he does, he is free. If he doesn't, he and his entourage will be hanged 401 00:39:01,667 --> 00:39:04,667 and the woman will be mine. Cheers! 402 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:10,917 But Sire! Only those of noble blood may take part in the tournaments! 403 00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:12,833 That's right. 404 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:19,042 Hereby I knight you Sire of... 405 00:39:19,333 --> 00:39:20,750 ...of Behynde. 406 00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:40,500 They travelled to the past to eradicate our existence. 407 00:39:40,917 --> 00:39:44,458 - This is bad news. - Well, yes. 408 00:39:44,792 --> 00:39:48,625 - But I also have good news for you. - Go ahead. 409 00:39:49,417 --> 00:39:53,500 This book contains a time machine construction manual. 410 00:39:54,167 --> 00:39:58,667 - I turned my moped into one. - And? Does it work? 411 00:39:59,542 --> 00:40:03,167 Yes, it does, master! I just went and got the newspaper of tomorrow. 412 00:40:05,833 --> 00:40:09,292 "High treason! Spectacle-wearer slain with a pan!" Poor guy. 413 00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:14,292 - They won't write about me. - For this to come true... 414 00:40:14,542 --> 00:40:18,542 you have to stop them! Can you trace their route? 415 00:40:18,792 --> 00:40:23,292 Sure. I'll sniff them out with my sniff radar. 416 00:40:23,542 --> 00:40:26,000 - Jens! - Master? 417 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:30,125 There is something you need to know. 418 00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:32,292 Whassup? 419 00:40:32,458 --> 00:40:37,500 Roughly 30 years ago a baby came along, you know. 420 00:40:38,708 --> 00:40:41,583 Without sock and without shoe. 421 00:40:42,250 --> 00:40:45,625 And that, dear Jens, was you. 422 00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:47,542 You lost me, my Regulator. 423 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,250 I... am... your father! 424 00:40:53,458 --> 00:40:56,000 Okay. You can count on me, daddy! Bye! 425 00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:45,708 By the way, the Lady's dress suits you remarkably well. 426 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:50,000 She wore it just yesterday while being busy with the jester. 427 00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:52,417 - You have a wife? - I had. 428 00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,000 Where is she now? 429 00:41:54,167 --> 00:41:56,875 - Hanging outside. - You hanged her outside? Why? 430 00:41:57,292 --> 00:41:58,667 We have no gallows in here. 431 00:42:02,458 --> 00:42:04,708 Two pizzas No. 33 for William the Endmost! 432 00:42:05,875 --> 00:42:07,958 To the Knight of Behynde! Cheers! 433 00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:29,667 Say, what is your star sign? Well, your zodiac. 434 00:42:29,917 --> 00:42:33,042 - You do have a zodiac, don't you? - Well, yes... Virgo. 435 00:42:33,208 --> 00:42:34,083 A virgin! 436 00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:39,500 A virgin? Where? Finally! I want one too! Here first! I was here before him! 437 00:42:39,708 --> 00:42:41,375 Shut up! 438 00:42:42,208 --> 00:42:46,792 - Virgo goes wonderfully with Butterfly. - That's no zodiac. 439 00:42:47,042 --> 00:42:51,417 Yes, it is. In the Vulcanette horoscope. I am a Butterfly. 440 00:42:51,708 --> 00:42:55,833 We only have insects for zodiacs. House Fly, Tse Tse Fly... 441 00:42:56,083 --> 00:43:00,042 Blowfly, Mayfly... or the Wasp! 442 00:43:00,250 --> 00:43:04,000 - Want to see my ascendant? - No, keep it where it is. 443 00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:07,583 - Save that for your boyfriend. - What? He's not my boyfriend. 444 00:43:08,250 --> 00:43:11,042 He's just my captain. He'd get lost without me all the time. 445 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:14,167 Besides, he has no idea what women want. 446 00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:17,000 Neither do I. I know you have to be handsome... 447 00:43:17,458 --> 00:43:20,458 Beauty is not that important. What you need is humor. 448 00:43:21,250 --> 00:43:24,458 I have! A doctor tells his patient "I have good news and bad news. " 449 00:43:24,875 --> 00:43:29,458 "Good news: You have one day to live. " "Bad news: I forgot to tell you... " 450 00:43:29,625 --> 00:43:30,333 "yesterday. " 451 00:43:33,083 --> 00:43:34,625 Forgot... yesterday... 452 00:43:36,750 --> 00:43:38,625 Not bad. 453 00:43:41,250 --> 00:43:45,250 Shall I tell you the magical question that sets every woman's heart on fire? 454 00:43:50,292 --> 00:43:53,292 Want to go shopping? 455 00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:59,167 Shopping? And I always thought women liked men who play the piano. 456 00:44:31,125 --> 00:44:34,375 I don't think I will ever marry. 457 00:44:35,375 --> 00:44:39,125 Neither would I anymore. My ex-wife took everything. 458 00:44:39,875 --> 00:44:42,875 My house, my dog, my job... 459 00:44:43,625 --> 00:44:44,667 even my hole puncher. 460 00:44:45,833 --> 00:44:47,708 Oh my, now you can't even file anything away! 461 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:51,125 Oh well. Let me show you something. 462 00:44:53,208 --> 00:44:56,083 My little pink pal stayed with me. 463 00:44:56,500 --> 00:44:59,042 Oh, you little piggy you! 464 00:44:59,125 --> 00:45:02,542 - Say, can I touch that? - Sure. 465 00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:07,750 - Oh my, it's all shrivelled up! - Well, it's been in there for a while. 466 00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:11,917 - Yeah, I can see that. - Come, push it. 467 00:45:13,083 --> 00:45:18,292 - I'd like to have one myself. - Come on, push it harder. 468 00:45:24,417 --> 00:45:28,417 My, where is it? My, what's it doing? My, there it is! 469 00:45:28,667 --> 00:45:33,000 - I don't want to make it burst. - It won't. My dog used to chew on it. 470 00:45:42,208 --> 00:45:46,458 The joust: two knights try to push each other off the horse with a lance. 471 00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:50,917 If your friend goes down, he loses and we will be married by tonight. 472 00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:53,458 I don't think you two would make a good couple. 473 00:46:00,417 --> 00:46:02,708 - What's wrong? - Well, how did we sleep last night? 474 00:46:03,292 --> 00:46:06,375 - I didn't get a wink of sleep. - Yes, I imagine. 475 00:46:08,292 --> 00:46:10,875 - What's that on your foot? - A shoe. 476 00:46:11,917 --> 00:46:15,875 - Where did you get that from? - My room mate had his leg hacked off... 477 00:46:16,125 --> 00:46:20,083 for no apparent reason. I felt sorry and bought his shoe. 478 00:46:20,292 --> 00:46:22,792 - Shut up, you witches! - Shut up, you bitches! 479 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,667 Dear Lords, dear Ladies, dear mob! 480 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:29,167 Our dearest patronizing host, who is delighted to see you all have come here... 481 00:46:29,417 --> 00:46:33,375 Duke William the Endmost of Shareholding! 482 00:46:41,917 --> 00:46:44,792 Dear Lords, dear Ladies! 483 00:46:45,208 --> 00:46:49,708 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle... 484 00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:53,958 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester-Puddingham... 485 00:46:54,167 --> 00:46:57,292 - It's Pettingham, you idiot! - Ah... oh. That's right. 486 00:46:58,125 --> 00:47:01,917 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle... 487 00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:06,333 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester... Pettingham... 488 00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:09,542 Sir Richard Carsharing... 489 00:47:10,375 --> 00:47:11,583 can not be with us today. 490 00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:17,292 Well well, the plague. Stepping into the breach... 491 00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:21,417 the mysterious Black Knight! 492 00:47:27,250 --> 00:47:31,250 Competing against him, under the crest of Duke William... 493 00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:34,500 the Sassy Sire of Behynde! 494 00:47:47,667 --> 00:47:52,208 I worked on that outfit all night. But it was worth it. 495 00:47:52,458 --> 00:47:54,458 Loose screw, huh? 496 00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:03,625 - Jens Shawl! - Jawohl. 497 00:48:04,167 --> 00:48:08,167 I will beat the Sassy Sire for you. 498 00:48:10,667 --> 00:48:13,667 - You have to cancel the tournament! - Too late. 499 00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:20,250 In case you care at all, I don't feel well. 500 00:48:20,625 --> 00:48:24,500 I have to go pee-pee since last night, but they don't even have toilet paper here. 501 00:48:34,167 --> 00:48:35,542 Calm! 502 00:48:47,208 --> 00:48:49,250 - You need to raise your lance, Rocky! - There! 503 00:48:49,375 --> 00:48:51,792 - What? - You're cooing. You said "Rocky"! 504 00:49:12,208 --> 00:49:16,167 If the Black Knight wins we're all doomed! 505 00:49:16,417 --> 00:49:19,667 - It's not the end of the world. - You have no idea! 506 00:49:31,833 --> 00:49:33,167 Jawohl! 507 00:49:34,792 --> 00:49:39,583 - I can't take it much longer! - Neither can I. That poor outfit! 508 00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:43,750 My bladder is about to explode and you act like a halibut in the heat! 509 00:49:44,125 --> 00:49:45,125 Rock! 510 00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:51,083 - Didn't hurt at all. - Think about our future! 511 00:49:51,583 --> 00:49:55,583 Don't worry, princess. Let me handle this. 512 00:49:55,833 --> 00:49:59,792 He could as well resign. Your bosom will be mine! 513 00:50:00,042 --> 00:50:04,042 I'll rather go and puke then let you touch me, Duke. 514 00:51:18,250 --> 00:51:19,667 Jawohl! Yes! Jawohl! 515 00:51:20,167 --> 00:51:22,500 Yes! We're getting married! Where's the priest? 516 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:26,417 Hey, don't touch! Hands off! Heh! 517 00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:33,167 - What are you planning? - Some little fireworks for our wedding. 518 00:51:34,208 --> 00:51:37,958 I know how you feel. I fell from the bunk bed when I was a kid. 519 00:51:38,167 --> 00:51:40,667 Excuse me! He's lying on top of my bladder. 520 00:51:42,167 --> 00:51:43,417 Hey, wait! 521 00:51:44,167 --> 00:51:44,875 What? 522 00:51:45,875 --> 00:51:49,083 Oh Willy! Do you want to make me happy? 523 00:51:51,167 --> 00:51:52,333 Yeah, definitely! 524 00:51:52,875 --> 00:51:55,958 Jawohl! Higher, pigs! 525 00:51:56,167 --> 00:52:01,500 - I'm ready, Willy-Boy! - Good! Move a little together, my dear! 526 00:52:04,458 --> 00:52:07,375 They're getting away! Let me down, assholes! 527 00:52:07,583 --> 00:52:09,167 What a picture! 528 00:52:10,667 --> 00:52:11,708 Stop it! 529 00:52:11,958 --> 00:52:15,250 - Come on baby, where's the cheese? - In here! 530 00:52:15,792 --> 00:52:19,083 Cheeeeese...! 531 00:52:19,667 --> 00:52:20,792 Oh crap. 532 00:52:27,917 --> 00:52:29,083 They're gone! 533 00:52:29,125 --> 00:52:31,125 William's a sorcerer! 534 00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:35,417 Well, burn him! 535 00:52:38,708 --> 00:52:42,458 Now I'll go and meet my Lord because of that bosom I adored. 536 00:53:00,917 --> 00:53:05,667 - What happened? - You were unconscious. We're there. 537 00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:09,417 - Hey! Hey, stop pulling! - Wishy-wishy, pissy-pissy! 538 00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:12,042 - Well, look! - Oh thank God! 539 00:53:16,750 --> 00:53:21,167 - C'mon, hurry, will ya? - Yeah. Hey, someone forgot his pants! 540 00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:24,375 - Heave ho! - Man, this is heavy! 541 00:53:25,250 --> 00:53:28,833 That wardrobe goes up to the bedroom. 542 00:53:30,250 --> 00:53:34,250 Be careful! These are the furniture of our new sheriff. 543 00:53:34,542 --> 00:53:38,542 - It all has to be perfect tomorrow. - Sure, mayor. 544 00:53:39,208 --> 00:53:40,417 Oh, do be careful! 545 00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,292 I dreamed of football just now. 546 00:53:44,708 --> 00:53:50,000 I was a quarterback made of marzipan. Someone stuck a lucky coin to my head... 547 00:53:50,292 --> 00:53:52,833 ...and stuck me into the shop window next to the tarts. 548 00:53:53,750 --> 00:53:56,417 - Who was that? - Some gay pastry cook. 549 00:54:05,917 --> 00:54:07,250 Whoa whoa whoa! 550 00:54:21,375 --> 00:54:25,333 - And where are the others? - Piddling. 551 00:54:25,625 --> 00:54:30,500 That was close. I wouldn't even wish Bora-Bora such a full bladder. 552 00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:35,167 Shouldn't have had all that asparagus. Well, how do you like it? 553 00:54:35,458 --> 00:54:39,750 - This outfit is so totally old fashioned. - Poppycock and fiddlesticks! 554 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,167 - We won't stand out in this national costume. - You're jingling. 555 00:54:44,667 --> 00:54:48,583 I have a world to save! Watch me, this is how you move in Nevada. 556 00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:52,333 Shoulders up, swing your hips. 557 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,875 Think of Johnny Weir and don't forget your breathing! 558 00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:58,917 Try it! 559 00:55:04,250 --> 00:55:05,750 Forget it! 560 00:55:37,875 --> 00:55:39,958 Ah, fresh asparagus tea! 561 00:55:40,458 --> 00:55:42,500 It's still warm! 562 00:56:01,667 --> 00:56:04,375 - Smocky. - Leave me alone. 563 00:56:04,542 --> 00:56:08,208 - How far is it to the ground? - I don't know. 564 00:56:08,458 --> 00:56:11,458 - Well, please look. - I can't. 565 00:56:11,625 --> 00:56:16,958 - It's the right place, but the wrong time. - Can you repair the time machine? 566 00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:20,542 - Not without the manual. - What do we do now? 567 00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:25,500 First of all, find the girls. Strange. I can't stop the feeling... 568 00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:26,667 they're somewhere around here. 569 00:56:27,333 --> 00:56:30,542 Last warning, Smock! How far is it to the ground? 570 00:56:30,708 --> 00:56:33,667 - Forget it! - Are we being mutinous? 571 00:56:33,833 --> 00:56:37,583 - That's that Mr. Rock's bad influence! - You're just being jealous! 572 00:56:40,125 --> 00:56:44,083 - Be careful, will you! - Hey. The princess is worrying about me. 573 00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:48,292 - What do you mean? - Well, if a woman worries about a man... 574 00:56:48,542 --> 00:56:54,500 - I'm worrying about our mission! - And me, about my cab and my money! 575 00:56:54,792 --> 00:56:55,583 What? 576 00:56:56,417 --> 00:57:00,042 Don't you understand? We're stuck here without the time machine! 577 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:03,125 - You should've been more careful! - Oh, so it's my fault now? 578 00:57:03,333 --> 00:57:05,125 I couldn't pay attention, I was unconscious! 579 00:57:05,458 --> 00:57:06,583 That's so typical! 580 00:57:06,625 --> 00:57:08,167 You're a jealous gratin! 581 00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:15,208 You'll look down now, or I'll tell Mr. Rock that you have a green testicle! 582 00:57:16,167 --> 00:57:17,167 You're such a bully! 583 00:57:20,250 --> 00:57:22,042 I took the rap for you, Princess! 584 00:57:22,125 --> 00:57:24,958 Oh yeah, and who kicked that leather lump into my face? 585 00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:27,333 If it wasn't for me, you'd be a juicy steak at the stake! 586 00:57:27,500 --> 00:57:29,750 - Good day to you. - Hello... 587 00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:33,333 - Do you have a boyfriend? - What? 588 00:57:33,500 --> 00:57:34,458 So you don't. 589 00:57:35,167 --> 00:57:38,250 I'll tell you something. You like me. 590 00:57:39,125 --> 00:57:42,833 - This is not about you! Got it? - Sorry, can I get my paper back? 591 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,375 Mayor Roony! 592 00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:51,542 That's all wrong! 593 00:57:51,583 --> 00:57:53,417 - More to the left! - Mayor Roony! 594 00:57:54,708 --> 00:57:58,333 A telegraph from Roswell! It's horrible! 595 00:57:59,417 --> 00:58:02,417 God be with us! The former sheriff... 596 00:58:02,958 --> 00:58:07,125 isn't cold and stiff yet, and they're already coming back to town! 597 00:58:07,667 --> 00:58:09,083 They're on the 12 o'clock train. 598 00:58:14,125 --> 00:58:16,958 They're back! 599 00:58:38,958 --> 00:58:43,708 - You have your mom's pulpy porridge ass! - Travelling with you is no fun at all! 600 00:58:44,042 --> 00:58:48,333 - I'm never taking you along again! - So what? There are plenty of people... 601 00:58:48,708 --> 00:58:50,750 who'd love to take me along! 602 00:58:50,833 --> 00:58:53,000 Who? That Rock-bottom maybe? 603 00:58:53,167 --> 00:58:57,208 Yeah! Our knees touched, and I got the feeling that... 604 00:58:57,458 --> 00:59:00,083 he wanted it too! Stop smirking! 605 00:59:00,208 --> 00:59:02,792 Maybe I'll take him on a trip to Mykonos with him next year! 606 00:59:03,250 --> 00:59:04,958 I'm not giving you a holiday. 607 00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:10,333 Sheriff Shorty? I thought you'd only arrive tomorrow. Anyway. Good luck! 608 00:59:10,583 --> 00:59:13,500 And you're taller than I expected! 609 00:59:16,167 --> 00:59:20,042 - And which one is the sheriff? - The one with the star, Jim. 610 00:59:20,417 --> 00:59:23,083 - I'll just save the world without you! - Ha, you can't! 611 00:59:23,417 --> 00:59:24,708 - Yes I can. - No you can't. 612 00:59:24,917 --> 00:59:25,958 - Yes I can. - No you can't. 613 00:59:26,208 --> 00:59:27,083 - Yes I can. - No you can't. 614 00:59:27,375 --> 00:59:28,250 - Yes I can. - No you can't. 615 00:59:30,833 --> 00:59:32,042 I don't believe this. 616 00:59:32,708 --> 00:59:34,833 No you can't. I have the Swiss laser! 617 00:59:35,417 --> 00:59:37,417 You sly Vulcanette cow! 618 00:59:38,958 --> 00:59:40,042 Hey, are you nuts? 619 00:59:41,167 --> 00:59:43,000 I thought Shorty was shorter last time we met him. 620 00:59:43,792 --> 00:59:47,458 Well, it's been what, 10 years? He could have grown. 621 00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:54,625 Dammit! 622 00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:58,292 Game over! Daddy will be delighted! 623 01:00:01,417 --> 01:00:02,875 He's got a moped! 624 01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:07,417 Oh no, not again. 625 01:00:18,083 --> 01:00:19,458 Oh, shit! 626 01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:26,833 What's wrong? 627 01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:39,542 Get a grip, you asshole! 628 01:00:50,583 --> 01:00:55,083 John, you hold the sheriff off my back. Jim, wash your hands and go inside. 629 01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:59,083 Sorry, John. I can't stay outside to play. 630 01:01:00,500 --> 01:01:05,042 Don't worry. I found two new friends already. 631 01:01:05,292 --> 01:01:06,667 - Shoes! - Yes, boss. 632 01:01:06,708 --> 01:01:08,625 John, you have ten minutes. 633 01:01:08,750 --> 01:01:13,542 We have a pub to sell to the Apaches later today. 634 01:01:13,958 --> 01:01:16,667 - We are from the... - People Village! 635 01:01:17,167 --> 01:01:19,000 We are peace-loving Village People! 636 01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:21,292 Ladies and Señoritas! 637 01:01:21,417 --> 01:01:26,042 From Medicine Bow, Wyoming, it's your host for tonight: Mr. Santa Maria! 638 01:01:27,250 --> 01:01:30,833 - Isn't he gorgeous? - I'm your biggest fan! 639 01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:36,125 Welcome to "The Santa Show"! Our guest for today is Jim. 640 01:01:36,375 --> 01:01:37,375 Hello, Jim. 641 01:01:39,292 --> 01:01:42,125 - What did you bring us there, Jim? - Rheuma blankets, boss. 642 01:01:42,625 --> 01:01:45,500 Isn't that wonderful? 643 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,625 Schnuffi-Puffi... Buy one, get one free! 644 01:01:49,833 --> 01:01:53,208 Schnuffi-Puffi... Schnuffi-Puffi! 645 01:01:53,458 --> 01:01:59,000 Schnuffi-Puffi, and your wild ride's going on! 646 01:01:59,375 --> 01:02:01,375 Now on sale! 647 01:02:14,750 --> 01:02:18,375 - I think he's cooing over you. - Really? 648 01:02:20,167 --> 01:02:22,833 C'mon! Draw! 649 01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:25,708 - What? - Your pistol. 650 01:02:26,958 --> 01:02:28,500 It's his first time! 651 01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:33,708 Geez, thanks! 652 01:02:38,375 --> 01:02:42,125 - I can't get it out! - Now you see what it's like. 653 01:02:42,583 --> 01:02:44,750 - Are you alright, captain? - Yes, but... 654 01:02:44,958 --> 01:02:48,875 - Where's Rock? - I'm getting tired of that name! 655 01:02:49,125 --> 01:02:50,792 Who of you ordered a cab? 656 01:02:52,042 --> 01:02:55,875 - Thank God, there he is! - "Thank God, there he is!" 657 01:02:59,958 --> 01:03:02,375 - You are a real hero! - I know. 658 01:03:09,375 --> 01:03:13,667 - But we don't drink champagne. - The chief of the Apaches does. 659 01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:20,583 - Oh look! Someone's lying there! - Yes, that's my John. 660 01:03:50,750 --> 01:03:53,792 My Regulator. Your shuttle to Earth is ready. 661 01:03:54,542 --> 01:03:58,000 - Has Lord Shawl reported in yet? - No, my Regulator! 662 01:03:58,417 --> 01:04:02,458 But we captured this man. He pretended to be mowing the lawn. 663 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,333 He actually is part of the crew that managed to flee with the time machine. 664 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:11,333 Interesting. I'm sure he can tell us something about their plans. 665 01:04:11,792 --> 01:04:15,292 I'm not saying anything! I've already lost my reading lamp to this war... 666 01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:16,917 it can't get any worse, can it! 667 01:04:17,458 --> 01:04:20,083 Then there is nothing I can do for you. 668 01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:21,417 You fool! 669 01:04:24,125 --> 01:04:25,625 Hermes! 670 01:04:27,875 --> 01:04:29,917 I order the following press release: 671 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,042 "High treason! Spectacle wearer slain with a pan!" 672 01:04:33,208 --> 01:04:34,708 Aye, my Regulator. 673 01:04:35,833 --> 01:04:41,375 We have conquered Earth. The Era of Darkness has begun. 674 01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:23,458 I think this is our exit! 675 01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:27,667 I don't know how to slow this thing down! 676 01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:36,875 Jump off! 677 01:05:52,375 --> 01:05:54,708 Great! Now I got sand in my ears! 678 01:05:54,833 --> 01:05:57,083 No wonder, what with the size of your lugs! 679 01:06:02,542 --> 01:06:06,417 - Are you alright, princess? - I think so. 680 01:06:32,667 --> 01:06:33,958 Better. 681 01:06:40,875 --> 01:06:43,333 That's our couch! Why is it smouldering? 682 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:45,250 Just you wait... 683 01:06:45,292 --> 01:06:48,583 What are you doing with our couch? It's not a toy, you know! 684 01:06:48,958 --> 01:06:51,500 Now look how that looks! It's so totally wrecked! 685 01:06:54,250 --> 01:06:57,625 Do you even know who I am? My name is Juergen Thorsten Kork... 686 01:06:57,917 --> 01:06:59,292 captain of the Traumschiff Surprise. 687 01:06:59,583 --> 01:07:04,458 I have the responsibility for this couch as well as for a crew of over 40 men... 688 01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:07,792 and I'm telling you it's not always easy to make ends meet! 689 01:07:14,083 --> 01:07:16,167 He repaired the time couch! 690 01:07:19,833 --> 01:07:20,708 Your turn! 691 01:07:28,083 --> 01:07:29,208 Okay! 692 01:07:30,750 --> 01:07:31,792 You... 693 01:07:33,167 --> 01:07:34,250 You again. 694 01:07:42,750 --> 01:07:45,042 - What is that? - A corkscrew. 695 01:07:47,625 --> 01:07:49,250 A magnifying glass. 696 01:07:59,958 --> 01:08:01,042 No! 697 01:08:03,167 --> 01:08:05,000 Your time is up! 698 01:08:15,792 --> 01:08:17,333 The UFO! 699 01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:33,958 Time to say goodbye, french fry. 700 01:08:37,667 --> 01:08:38,708 Rock! 701 01:08:44,042 --> 01:08:45,375 Want to... 702 01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,083 Want to go shopping? 703 01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:52,917 Yes I do! 704 01:08:58,708 --> 01:09:04,667 - See! Your time to coo is over, Smocky. - I can still keep him on the back burner. 705 01:09:08,542 --> 01:09:12,542 - There is something you have to know. - What is it? 706 01:09:13,625 --> 01:09:15,292 I... 707 01:09:15,458 --> 01:09:19,500 - I really suck when it comes to sex. - Oh Rock! So do I! 708 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:36,583 - Gee, what a cute thingy! - Careful, Smock, it might bite. 709 01:09:49,208 --> 01:09:51,125 Maybe I'll talk to him. 710 01:09:52,792 --> 01:09:55,583 - Hello, stranger! - Huh? 711 01:09:55,917 --> 01:09:57,250 You friend or foe? 712 01:10:01,250 --> 01:10:05,125 Ah! A friend! 713 01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,750 - Oh, I think he catched a cold. - Wait a sec. 714 01:10:16,375 --> 01:10:19,083 You're a really good boy, aren't you? 715 01:10:33,833 --> 01:10:37,208 - Look, now you broke it! You dumb cow! - That's not enough, I'm afraid. 716 01:10:50,792 --> 01:10:54,792 - We did it! - That's all? This will change the future? 717 01:10:55,250 --> 01:10:59,250 Even small things can have a big effect. 718 01:10:59,458 --> 01:11:03,708 I don't know about you, but I'm really homesick now. 719 01:11:03,958 --> 01:11:05,375 Yes! 720 01:11:09,583 --> 01:11:11,583 I wonder what awaits us at home. 721 01:11:11,667 --> 01:11:14,500 Hopefully some fresh cheese cake in Honolulu, right, Smocky? 722 01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:23,625 - There's not enough energy. Overload. - Overload? 723 01:11:24,750 --> 01:11:25,458 - We're too heavy. - What? 724 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,708 We'll make 200 years, tops. 725 01:11:28,917 --> 01:11:32,625 - We're 76.375 kg overweight. - Oh no! 726 01:11:33,083 --> 01:11:34,583 - How much are you? - 54 kg. 727 01:11:34,667 --> 01:11:38,833 - My beach weight's 75 kg. - I'm 73. 728 01:11:39,375 --> 01:11:40,458 What about you, Smocky? 729 01:11:41,792 --> 01:11:43,417 Well, how much is it? 730 01:11:51,458 --> 01:11:55,167 76 kilo and 375 grams. 731 01:12:04,250 --> 01:12:05,292 Smocky? 732 01:12:13,250 --> 01:12:15,500 Groans was right. I'm just too fat! 733 01:12:33,500 --> 01:12:34,708 Thanks for everything. 734 01:12:40,458 --> 01:12:41,917 They found us. 735 01:12:47,583 --> 01:12:50,667 Take this. Whenever you're lonely... 736 01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:54,000 just press it. 737 01:13:01,625 --> 01:13:03,333 Don't go! 738 01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:07,292 You have to go now. 739 01:13:08,333 --> 01:13:09,917 How could I, without you? 740 01:13:10,917 --> 01:13:12,500 I'll stay with you. 741 01:13:12,583 --> 01:13:15,375 No, you have to win the Miss Waikiki contest. 742 01:13:16,667 --> 01:13:17,750 Smocky! 743 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:20,292 I'll always be with you, captain. 744 01:13:26,917 --> 01:13:30,917 You're the bravest Vulcanette in the world! 745 01:13:34,208 --> 01:13:35,625 Farewell! 746 01:13:37,542 --> 01:13:39,042 Gotta run. 747 01:14:18,292 --> 01:14:20,542 And you expect us to believe that story? 748 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:26,125 So you are a time traveller. 749 01:14:32,375 --> 01:14:35,375 And you came from the year 2304... 750 01:14:37,292 --> 01:14:38,750 to save the world. 751 01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:42,375 What do you think, Mr. Oilfield? 752 01:14:52,208 --> 01:14:56,625 - Sir, he's telling the truth. - Are you sure, Mr. Cornfield? 753 01:14:57,208 --> 01:14:59,875 Yes, Mr. Wheatfield. The lie detector confirms it. 754 01:15:00,167 --> 01:15:02,125 He can fool us, but he can't fool the machine. 755 01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:04,292 Please, Mrs. Ricefield. 756 01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:08,292 Mr. Smock. Your story sounds truly... 757 01:15:10,708 --> 01:15:13,500 - unbelievable. - Geez, really. 758 01:15:13,833 --> 01:15:18,208 But can you prove to us that you are from the future? 759 01:15:26,042 --> 01:15:30,042 - What the hell is that? - Oh geez, I had forgotten about that! 760 01:15:32,125 --> 01:15:35,125 I've never seen anything like it! 761 01:15:36,667 --> 01:15:40,167 - It vibrates when it gets hot. - Yes, General. 762 01:15:40,375 --> 01:15:43,958 - A clinical thermometer with vibration. - That's proof. 763 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,000 This man does indeed come from the future! 764 01:16:10,792 --> 01:16:11,750 What is that? 765 01:16:12,208 --> 01:16:14,875 Surprise! 766 01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:47,333 - Welcome home, captain! - What? 767 01:16:48,333 --> 01:16:52,833 This is impossible... You were just... I mean... you were... 768 01:16:53,083 --> 01:16:57,083 - Why are you here? - Well, you never believed me, did you! 769 01:16:59,333 --> 01:17:01,125 Galapagos turtle! 770 01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:04,208 Yesterday was my 335th birthday! 771 01:17:05,208 --> 01:17:08,917 Three...! You haven't changed a bit! No grey hair... 772 01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:12,333 - no cellulite in your face! Nothing! - Yes. Wasn't cheap though. 773 01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:16,042 So you... waited for me for 300 years? 774 01:17:16,458 --> 01:17:19,208 Yes. But I made good use of that time. 775 01:17:30,500 --> 01:17:32,083 Isn't it beautiful? 776 01:17:33,667 --> 01:17:35,958 How did you do that? 777 01:17:36,708 --> 01:17:39,833 I sold our cheese cake recipe to McDonald's. 778 01:17:46,083 --> 01:17:50,208 Captain's log no. 1 of our Traumschiff Surprise, Captain Kork. 779 01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:54,542 Saved the world once more. By destroying the UFO in 2004 780 01:17:54,792 --> 01:17:58,833 we changed the future. Mars was never colonized, 781 01:17:59,125 --> 01:18:03,125 and Mr. Smock has refurbished Earth during the last 300 years. 782 01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:06,375 Now nothing can stop us! 783 01:18:06,708 --> 01:18:10,375 'Cause we're so pretty 784 01:18:10,708 --> 01:18:16,667 and so canny and so slim and so slender We'll be Miss Waikiki! 785 01:18:17,667 --> 01:18:21,500 And shower to the left! And shower to the right! 786 01:18:22,167 --> 01:18:25,792 And don't forget the soap! One more time! 787 01:18:26,417 --> 01:18:30,333 And five, six, seven, eight Five, six, seven, eight 788 01:18:30,542 --> 01:18:34,333 And touch and push! And touch and push! 789 01:18:34,708 --> 01:18:38,458 And towel to the left! And towel to the right! 790 01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:43,000 And don't forget the willy! Dry the willy to the beat! 791 01:18:54,792 --> 01:18:56,750 You can count on me, daddy! 792 01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:08,375 I'm a Vulcanette vulgaris. We can be up to 400 years old because we are 793 01:19:08,625 --> 01:19:11,375 a type of Galapapago... 794 01:19:11,583 --> 01:19:14,167 I'm a... 795 01:19:22,333 --> 01:19:25,292 This thing farts! 796 01:19:25,667 --> 01:19:29,667 Sure. I'll snaff them out with my snaffledidap. 797 01:19:31,583 --> 01:19:33,167 Yes! 798 01:19:35,375 --> 01:19:39,000 - Klaus Kinski? - Yes. I'm hovering. Come up. 799 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:43,917 Sure, Dad. Shoe can count on me... shshshsh... 800 01:19:44,167 --> 01:19:48,167 - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods. - And whahamaminib? 801 01:19:48,625 --> 01:19:52,625 They travelled to the past to erararara... 802 01:19:53,583 --> 01:19:56,583 Rrrrrr! Rrrrrr! I miss my moped. 803 01:19:56,792 --> 01:20:00,792 - I used to be on the hovering club! - On? 804 01:20:01,208 --> 01:20:05,625 I made my license in freestyle hovering when I washwei... shwe... 805 01:20:05,875 --> 01:20:08,458 shwiba... hi there! 806 01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:13,375 ...when I was 12, and I won the Federal Cross of Merit 807 01:20:13,625 --> 01:20:17,625 at the national youth hovering con... - Federal Cross? 808 01:20:18,250 --> 01:20:22,250 - Put that pipe away! - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods! 809 01:20:30,750 --> 01:20:32,875 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 810 01:20:34,917 --> 01:20:37,917 Space-Taxi to the sky. 811 01:20:39,333 --> 01:20:41,625 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 812 01:20:43,500 --> 01:20:46,750 Space-Taxi to the sky. 813 01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:48,000 Come on. 814 01:20:48,125 --> 01:20:49,875 ...My little heart... ... so hot... 815 01:20:50,042 --> 01:20:52,042 ...spread your legs apart... Check it out! 816 01:20:52,167 --> 01:20:55,875 ...now let's start the show! Eenie meenie miny moe! 817 01:20:56,917 --> 01:20:58,958 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 818 01:21:01,042 --> 01:21:04,167 Space-Taxi to the sky. 819 01:21:04,708 --> 01:21:06,542 I... 820 01:21:07,667 --> 01:21:10,667 - I forgot to pack my bra. - Here. 821 01:21:11,750 --> 01:21:14,333 Take m... 822 01:21:16,333 --> 01:21:18,250 William is a sorcerer! 823 01:21:20,500 --> 01:21:22,000 Sorry, mouth full. 824 01:21:24,458 --> 01:21:26,167 Do you want to make me happy? 825 01:21:27,667 --> 01:21:28,667 Yes, definitely! 826 01:21:31,875 --> 01:21:33,833 My nose went up! 827 01:21:36,167 --> 01:21:40,792 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 828 01:21:41,083 --> 01:21:43,667 Third Count of... Fuck! 829 01:21:46,500 --> 01:21:47,708 Fuck, hey! 830 01:21:54,542 --> 01:22:02,500 There are plenty of people who'd lovuff... 831 01:22:04,875 --> 01:22:09,458 There are plenty of people who'd lovuff... sorry! 832 01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:14,250 There are plenty... 833 01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:32,292 Do you even know who I am? Captain Juergen Thorsten Kork from the 834 01:22:32,542 --> 01:22:35,250 Planet of the Apes. Sorry. 835 01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:41,917 Bring me a Quattro staggioni, okay? And turn that stupid music off. 836 01:26:05,667 --> 01:26:09,750 Now, be honest, Smocky. Didn't you get incredibly bored 837 01:26:10,042 --> 01:26:13,042 without me during the last 300 years? 838 01:26:13,875 --> 01:26:17,583 Oh well, I had a little lie-in... 839 01:26:17,833 --> 01:26:20,625 - visited my relatives - That's nice. 840 01:26:20,833 --> 01:26:24,833 - I did my tax return. - Yes, that's important. 841 01:26:28,375 --> 01:26:31,250 And then I won bronze... 842 01:26:32,333 --> 01:26:36,750 at the Olympic Games of 2068 in the Ladies' Showering Team. 843 01:26:36,958 --> 01:26:40,958 Oh, really! Our Smocky has always been an ace, hasn't he? 844 01:26:43,958 --> 01:26:44,958 What's up, Spotty? 845 01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,292 Captain, I beamed someone up... he wants to join in with us! 846 01:26:48,458 --> 01:26:51,500 Send him up. He'll get some cheese cake, too! 847 01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:54,708 Aye aye, my captain! 848 01:26:56,625 --> 01:26:58,000 Well, who could it be! 849 01:26:59,333 --> 01:27:01,625 Come in, if you're not a taxi driver! 850 01:27:02,958 --> 01:27:06,583 - Servus! - Voilá! Anyone need a pearl diver? 851 01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:10,625 Fascinating. 64697

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