All language subtitles for Sawbones 1995

WOMAN: Composer?

MAN: I am not,
uh, Irving Berlin.

More classical than that.
No, I am not Berlioz.

WOMAN: Another one.

MAN: I am not Brahms.

Are you a famous
New York conductor?

No, I am
not Leonard Bernstein.

Are you
a famous murderer?

Good try.
I am not Lizzie Borden.

I hope you stump him,
darling,

because
I am running out of B's.

All right. Are you a well-known,
18th-century English jurist?

A typical
lawyer's question, Burt.

No, I am not
Sir William Blackstone. Cynthia?

I pass.

You know, every time we play
Botticelli with you,

I feel
like a dropout.

Do I see the flutter
of white flags?

Go ahead.
Tell us who it is.

No, no, no. Please.
Let's keep guessing.

BURT:
We'll be here all night.

Come on, Ray.

It's very simple.
Josef Breuer.

Who?

Breuer. He and Freud
coauthored Studies on Hysteria.

That's unfair, Dr. Flemming
You're a psychiatrist.

You should have picked
someone everyone knew.

Well, like who, honey?

Last time
we played the game

you were stumped
by Alexander Graham Bell.

Has my husband finished

dazzling you
with his intelligence?

Because I have
a little surprise for everyone.

Everyone ready?

( mouthing )

( all gasp )

Henri at the Denise
found out

about our anniversary,
he insisted.

I insist we get at this
while it's cold.

Oh, how marvelous.

I think
a toast is in order...

to our host and hostess

on the 1Oth anniversary
of their horrible mistake.

Oh!

You'd better
rephrase that, counselor.

Pleasure,
Your Honor...

to the two finest people
I ever knew.

Here's to 10 more years
of happiness.

( guests applauding )

( telephone ringing )

Excuse me.

Bubbly, anybody?

Hello.

Now?

Can't it wait?

We're having
a party here.

All right,
I'll be there as soon as I can.

Believe me, anything
Henri chooses is superb.

He's got the best
wine cellar in town.

Excuse me.
Excuse me, dear.

What is it, darling?

It's a patient,
I'm afraid I have to leave.

This is our anniversary.

But it's an emergency.
He's having an anxiety attack.

You're not
a family doctor.

You don't have to go
chasing off

every time somebody
runs out of tranquilizers.

Darling, we've been
through this before.

I won't allow you to leave.
We have guests.

And they shouldn't see us
arguing, should they?

Now, make my excuses.

I'll try to get back
before they leave.

( door opens, closes )

Do you love me?

How much?

This much.

Well, actually,
I should be strangling you.

Why?

You know
I was giving a party.

I had to see you.

When I'm alone,
I don't know, I...

I get confused.

Second thoughts?

A few.

( sighs )

It's a natural reaction
under the circumstances.

I keep wishing
there was some other way.

There isn't.

But if you talked to her,
if I talked to her.

Joan, don't be naive.

We have one alternative.

We decided that
a long time ago.

It's funny.

I can't even picture
what she looks like.

Are we really so different?

Completely.

All right, I'm younger
than she is, I'm prettier.

But, uh, she's probably
more intelligent than I am.

Mm-hmm.

It's a kind
of destructive intelligence.

Why me?
What have I got to offer?

A typical actress,

too many bit parts
and too much ambition.

I like ambition.

For all the good
it's done me.

It brought you to me,
didn't it?

( chuckles )

With my nails gnawed off
and every neurosis in the book.

I was in great shape,
wasn't I?

It's not
a bad shape at all.

Ray.

Ray, you do love me,
don't you?

Very much.

I won't disappoint you
tomorrow.

I never thought
you would.

( door closes )

I didn't think
you'd be up.

Don't bother to undress.

You're sleeping
in the guest room.

I've turned down the bed.

Carol.

I think you should know
I'm calling my lawyers

in the morning.

It's been a long day.

Do we have to start
on that again?

You'll have to indulge me
just this one last time, dearie.

It's lucky for you I'm too
well-bred to throw a tantrum.

All right. Fire away.

Six months ago
I gave you a choice...

between me and your...

( groans )

How shall I put it?

Extracurricular activity.

I made that choice.

I wanted a husband in fact,
not just in appearance.

If you refused,

I'd divorce you.

There was a catch
to that, as I recall.

Well, naturally,
you don't think

I'm going to make it
easy for you?

I'd create as much scandal
as I possibly could

and ruin your
practice entirely.

Aside from taking every penny
that I've got.

Those were my terms.

You accepted them
until tonight.

Carol,
none of this is necessary.

I told you,
I was with a patient.

Till 1:00
in the morning?

What are you doing,
giving discount rates?

On my way home
I dropped by to see Dr. Cobb.

He was the referral
psychoanalyst,

and we discussed
the case.

Do you really expect me
to believe that?

Well, call him.

What's that going to prove?
He's a friend of yours.

Well, his wife
is a friend of yours.

Talk to her.

( picks handset, dialing )

Hang up. Hang up.

I haven't seen Cobb
for two weeks.

Then you've been
lying to me.

Oh, but not
the way you think.

Well, I guess
the game's up.

I stopped by the hospital
to see Dr. Rosales.

We talked about the trip

you and I were going
to take to Acapulco.

Acapulco?

Yeah.
We leave tomorrow night.

Well, I thought we could use
a couple of days in the sun,

just you and me.

Happy anniversary,
darling.

Oh, Ray, darling.

That's why I stopped in
to see Rosales.

He's from Mexico,
and I thought maybe

he could fill me in
on what to do

when we got there.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I was saving it
for breakfast.

I wanted it
to be a surprise.

And I almost ruined it.

Oh, darling.

Say, you're going to have
a big day tomorrow.

Why don't you
get some sleep?

I think
I'll read for a while.

Ray?

You can go in now,
Miss Hudson.

Thank you.

Oh, darling,
you're tense.

A little.

Did you get
any sleep last night?

No.
Well, maybe an hour or two.

Take one of these
when you get home.

What are they?

Sleeping pills.

I want you to get
some rest this afternoon.

Can't. I'm working.

This is an odd time to be
pursuing your career, isn't it?

How many chances do I get?

It's a good part.

Let's concentrate on the part
you're playing tonight.

You think it'll fit?

Might be a little big.

Noticeably?

No.
I don't think so.

Shall I take it home
with me?

No, I don't want you wearing it
until it's necessary.

Now, this photograph
is the best one I have of her.

In the others, she's
standing off in the distance

or wearing sunglasses.

Notice the makeup.

She uses
a heavy eyebrow pencil.

What about the wig?

I'll get it from the studio
makeup department today.

They'll never know
it's missing.

Good.

You take that along
with you as reference,

but be sure
you bring it back tonight.

Now
what about the timing?

I'll be
at your apartment at 9:00.

But no sooner.

And how do you get there?
Car?

You're testing me.

Do you mind?

No, I suppose we both
have to be sure about things.

I won't drive.
I'll come by bus.

I'll get off
a few blocks away and walk.

Right.

Use the back entrance
to the garage,

then take
the service elevator.

Apartment number?

You're in the penthouse.
I ring the bell twice.

Anything else?

Joan?

The sunglasses.

Good girl.

And a large purse
for the dress.

Are you sure of everything?
Shall I do it over again?

No, I don't want
to talk about it anymore.

Ah, but it'll be fine.
I promise you.

Just pretend
you're working on a role,

right down to the props.

I'll see you tonight.

10:00.
Thank you very much.

The plane's leaving
on schedule.

Then you'd better hurry.

Oh, darling,
let's not rush.

Here, let me
help you with that.

You're a brilliant man,
but you're not very mechanical.

That's what
wives are for.

That,
and other things.

Burt Gordon called today.

Anything important?

No, just to wish us
a pleasant trip.

He could use
a vacation himself.

You know he's prosecuting
two new cases next month?

Well, that's what he gets
for having political ambitions.

Do you remember him
when he was in law school?

Vaguely.

I never saw anybody work
so hard, including you.

But I didn't have to.
My wife had a rich father.

And you married me
for my money.

Not yours, darling.
Your father's.

I like to think you
loved me a little.

Didn't you?

Yes.

Is the maid
coming tomorrow?

Well,
as far as I know.

Well, why don't you
give her a call and check?

Sometimes she forgets.

All right.

Oh, say,
did you see my blue dress?

My blue wool?

My blue wool dress.

I was going to
take it on the trip,

but I can't
find it anywhere.

Maybe you sent it
to the cleaners.

Oh, no.
It should be in the closet.

Where's that address book?

Ah!

( humming )

Charlotte?
This is Mrs. Flemming.

I just wanted to be sure
you'd be in tomorrow.

Good.

Oh, and don't forget
to water the plants, huh?

You've got your key,
huh?

Good.

Oh, yes.
We will.

Thank you very much. Bye.

She's coming in at 10:00!

Good!

Drink, darling?

No.
Set it down, would you?

Such a beautiful
night, isn't it?

I hadn't noticed.

Perfect weather for flying.
You can see for miles.

Do you know
what I was thinking?

What?

When we get back,
we must redecorate.

The place looks cold.
It should have warmer colors.

Maybe we should buy
some paintings of soup cans.

If you think so.

You'd like that,
wouldn't you?

Oh, we're gonna have
such a wonderful time

the next few days.

Does your secretary
know where you're going?

Only that
we're in Mexico.

No specifics.

Good.
Complete privacy.

We're going to have a nice,
quiet weekend.

You'd better
close the doors,

then change.

Oh?

Our second honeymoon
may be better than our first.

( phone ringing )

( body hitting floor )

( phone continues ringing )

Hello.

Oh, hello, Burt.
How are you?

Oh, yeah.
Carol told me you called.

Oh, fine, fine.
We're just leaving.

Oh, no. She's, uh...
She's dressing.

Yes. I'll tell her.

I'd better be
going now, Burt.

Give our love to
Cynthia, will you?

Right.

( doorbell chimes )

Joan?
Did anyone see you come up?

There's a drink on the bar.
Take it.

No. I--

And I want you
to wear these gloves.

Don't. Please.

I don't need a drink.
I'll be all right.

Be careful
not to touch anything.

Did you bring
the photograph?

The wig?

And some shoes
to go with the dress.

Very good.

Put this on.
Come on. Get ready.

It looks fine.

Hmm.
It won't fool anybody.

Oh, don't be negative.

Suppose we meet someone
who knows your wife?

I don't even look like her.

People see
what they expect to see.

It's the principle
of association.

You're dressed like Carol.
You're traveling with me.

That means
you are my wife.

Are we ready?

Not yet.
Make your call to the cleaners.

What are you waiting for?

Well, won't they be closed
this time of night?

They're open
till midnight.

( picks handset, dialing )

Rodeo Cleaners?

This is...

This is Mrs. Flemming,

Cumberland Apartments
on Wilshire.

I have a bundle of laundry
and some things to clean.

It'll be
outside the door.

I'm leaving it
outside the door.

Will you have
someone pick it up

first thing
in the morning?

Thank you.

Fine.
The sunglasses.

Where are they?

I know I had them.

Good.

Now, put these on.

Why?

She always wore them
with that dress.

When you get back
from the airport,

add the dress
and the gloves to that bundle.

What about the wig?

I'll return it Monday.
No one will know I have it.

Fine.
Are you ready?

( shuddering breath )

I think so.

Let's get started.

Light.

Dr. And Mrs. Ray Flemming,
ticketed on 12A.

Thank you.

Afraid you're 13 pounds
overweight, doctor.

Put it on my credit card,
would you?

( Phone Rings, Distant )

( stamps imprinter )

Mrs. Flemming?

Carol.

Mrs. Flemming?

Yes.

Will you be carrying
any hand luggage aboard?

No.

Will you sign here,
please, doctor?

Thank you very much.

That'll be at Gate 35,

boarding in about
3 minutes.

Have a pleasant trip,
sir.

Thank you.

WOMAN: ( on PA )
Flight number 12A

for Acapulco is in
the final boarding process

at Gate number 35.

Passengers having reservations

for this flight
should be on board.

May I have your names,
please?

Dr. And Mrs. Flemming.

All right.

Um, Aisle 3,
Seats A and B.

Thank you.

Remember.

Don't call or try to
get in touch with me.

I'll reach you.

When will I see you?

Oh, not for a while.
At least a week.

Ray, I'm worried.

Well, don't be.
Just try to get some rest.

And don't read the papers.
They'll upset you.

Shall we get started?

What should I say?

You're an actress, darling.
Improvise.

If you feel that way,
why'd you agree to come along?

That's a good question.
I really don't know.

You never wanted to take
this trip in the first place.

JOAN: Can you blame me?

What am I supposed to do,

sit in our room
while you go fishing?

Maybe you'd
rather not go at all.

Maybe I wouldn't.

Fine, spend the weekend
with your friends

and run up
a nice bar bill.

Leave my friends
out of this.

Will you lower your voice?
People are listening.

I don't care
who's listening.

I wasn't the one
that started this.

You're making a scene.

This is impossible.

What do you think
you're doing?

Isn't it obvious?
I'm leaving.

Carol, don't be a fool.

Have they shut
the door yet?

No, ma'am,
but we're just about to.

Enjoy yourself.

I'm sure you'll have
a better time without me.

Carol!

Is there anything
I can do, sir?

No.
Let her go.

( plane engine powering up )

Miguel, why don't you
fix us some lunch?

I'm starving.

( splashes )

Dr. Flemming?

Who are you?

Lieutenant Columbo.
Police.

I don't understand.

What's happened here?
Where's my wife?

Maybe you better sit down.

I've got some
bad news for you.

Has something
happened to Carol?

You sure you don't
want to sit down?

Has she been
in an accident?

Not exactly.

Well, what is it?
Tell me.

Well, um...

Somebody broke in here
and tried to kill her.

"Tried" to kill her?

That's right, doctor.
She's lucky she's still alive.

She's still alive?
Where is she now?

She's at the hospital.

You're sure
you don't want a drink...

water, brandy
or something?

Oh, no, no.

I want to know how she is.
Is she conscious?

Has she been able to--
to say anything?

Well, I'm afraid not.
She's been in a coma.

What's her condition
right now?

Oh, come on.
I must know the truth.

It's not very good,
doctor.

We only hope that she
comes to long enough

to be able to talk to us.

Well, I've got
to see her.

Doctor, uh, don't you think
you ought to rest awhile?

After all, it's been
quite a shock.

Well, you can understand.
My wife's in the hospital.

She may be dying.
I want to see her.

All right.
Uh, I've got a car downstairs.

( phone ringing )

No, I don't want
to talk to anyone now.

Might be the hospital, doc.
They know I'm here.

Hello.
This is Dr. Flemming.

Darling, I just
had to talk to you.

The newspapers...

No, I--I can't keep any
appointments today.

Why don't you come
in Friday at 2:00?

My secretary will verify it.

Ray, is there
someone with you?

They expect me to be
on call at all hours.

Same with me, doc.

Nurse, I'm Dr. Flemming.
My wife is a patient here.

I'd like to see her.

I'm afraid
she's on the critical list.

She's not permitted
to have any visitors.

But, miss,
I am a doctor.

I'm sorry,
but my orders are--

Is Dr. Lansberry
still chief of staff here?

Yes.

Will you tell him
that Dr. Ray Flemming

is here
and would like to see him.

He may be
in surgery, doctor.

But you wouldn't know that
unless you checked.

Would you mind?

Dr. Lansberry, please.
Reception.

There's a Dr. Flemming here.
He insists on seeing his wife.

Yes. Thank you.

He's being paged,
doctor.

Thank you.

Hospital red tape.

Yeah, I know
what you mean, doctor.

Well,
let's get on with it.

WOMAN: ( on PA )
Dr. Lansberry...

Get on with what?

Your red tape.

This, um, this thief,
did he leave any traces?

Oh, no.
No, not a thing.

But of course, uh, we might be
able to run him down

when he tries to sell
the stuff he stole.

We can't be sure,
but, uh, we think maybe

he stole
some of your wife's jewelry

and some other things.

Listen, doc,
when you get a chance,

would you make out
a list of what was stolen?

Of course.

And then we can, uh...

We check with the fences
and the pawnshops.

And who knows?
Something might turn up.

Oh, a few questions
for my report, doc.

Now, uh...

WOMAN: ( on PA )
Dr. Miller...

You were in Mexico
when this thing took place,

and, uh,
the dates there were, um...

Gee, you don't
have a pencil, do you?

Thanks.

You know, my wife,
she gives me one every morning,

and I just can't
seem to hold on to it.

Uh.
Oh, yes.

Now we know that
you were in Mexico,

but, uh,
the local police down there,

they couldn't
seem to locate you.

Oh, yes.

I was in a little village
about 20 miles from Acapulco.

It was very quiet
and relaxing

and hardly
any telephones.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

WOMAN: ( on PA )
Dr. Lansberry,

call reception desk,
please.

Yeah.

I, um,
I suppose you...

you know about
what happened on the plane.

Yeah. Yeah.

We talked with the--
with the airline people.

And they told us that
you and your wife checked in.

Well, boy,
that really threw us.

But then, of course,
we contacted the stewardess

and she explained
what happened.

Yes.
It was my fault.

We had an argument
on the plane.

It was
something ridiculous.

I never thought
that she'd actually leave.

Yeah, she probably went home
and went right to bed.

I guess the attack
was close to midnight.

I mean, we know that she was
at the airport at 10:00.

Dr. Woods,
call your office.

Lieutenant, if there's

any further way that I can be
of assistance to you...

Oh, no. No. No.

You just make out that list.
That would be fine, doc.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, one more thing,
before I forget.

I had to borrow
a photograph the other day.

I hope you don't mind.

A photograph?

Yeah, a picture
of you and your wife.

We had to have something
to show the stewardess.

For identification.

I see.

She was still out of town,
but we contacted her by phone,

and, uh, we sent
the picture down by wirephoto.

And?

She identified your wife.

The picture wasn't too clear,
but she recognized her.

Ray.

I was hoping to find you here.
Are you all right?

I'm holding up,
I suppose.

I just don't know what to say.
It's terrible.

Why, we just saw her
at your party.

I know.

Now what happened
on Friday?

When I called, the two of you
were getting ready to leave.

We had an argument
on the plane.

Suddenly, Carol decided
she wasn't going,

and she walked off.

I shouldn't
have let her.

Well, you can't
blame yourself.

How could you
possibly have known?

Thanks.

Have you heard
anything yet?

Not yet, doctor.

Lieutenant Columbo.

My name's Gordon.

I'm with the district
attorney's office.

Yes, sir. I know.

I appreciate it.

Anything you can do
for Dr. Flemming.

He's a good friend
of mine.

I'll try.

Ray, we're going
to find the man

that is responsible
for this

as soon as
Carol gets better

and can give us
a full description.

Oh, and by the way,

Cynthia wants you to spend
the next few days with us.

Let me think about it,
will you?

I understand.

Dr. Flemming?

Dr. Lansberry
on the phone.

Hello, doctor.

There's something
I want you to do for me.

Uh, any, uh...

Any progress so far?

Dr. Miller,
call the switchboard, please.

Well, it's, uh,
still a little early,

but, uh, you know,
sooner or later

something usually breaks.

Mm-hmm.

Well, let's make that
"sooner,"

right, lieutenant?

Try my best.

Yeah.
I'm sure you will.

I don't think
I have to remind you

that this could be...

quite the little feather
in your cap.

Wrap it up,
and everybody's happy.

Lieutenant?

Um, yeah, I'm sorry.

I was, uh...

I was just thinking
about something.

What was that?

No.
It's nothing important.

It's, uh...

Dr. Flemming,
he didn't call to his wife

when he came back
to his apartment.

I don't follow you.

Oh.
Well, I was in the bedroom.

I was checking
some things,

and I heard him
open the front door,

and he didn't say anything.

Gee, it's funny how people
are different, isn't it?

Now you take myself,

when I come home
from a trip, uh,

the first thing
I do is I say,

"Honey, you here?"

Exactly what is
your point, lieutenant?

Point?
Oh, I wasn't making a point.

It sounded to me
as if you were.

You heard the man admit

that he had
an argument with his wife.

He probably still had
a chip on his shoulder

this morning.

I was only trying to--

I have
already told you that

Dr. Flemming is a close,
personal friend of mine.

Now I hope
he's not going to be

annoyed by a lot
of tactless remarks,

especially
at a time like this.

Well, I'm sorry,
Mr. Gordon.

I guess I shouldn't
have mentioned it.

Dr. Ferrell,
Surgery Four, please.

RAY: Yes.

Thank you, Dr. Lansberry.

They're letting me go
up to see her.

Good.
Do you need company?

No.
I'd rather be with her alone.

I'll have to go
with you, doc.

Why?

Well, we got
a man on the door.

( elevator door opens )

Uh, it's, uh...

it's all right, officer.

This is her husband.

I'm sorry, lieutenant.
Nobody's allowed in right now.

Well, why not?

She's conscious.
The doctor's with her.

Well,
maybe we got lucky.

Oh, doctor,

I'm the patient's husband.

Is she--
Is she all right?

I'm sorry.

She passed away.

Did she...
Did she say anything?

If it's any consolation,

the one thing
she said was your name.

Getting some fresh air?

I was on my way
back from lunch.

Well,
as a matter of fact,

I was headed toward
your office myself.

Do you mind
if I walk along?

Not at all.

Any news?

No.
Nothing much, doctor.

We're just sort
of waiting around

until our friend tries
to get rid of the jewelry.

I'd imagine he'd hold on
to it for a while.

Yeah, probably.

Have I had any calls,
Miss Petrie?

Five or six.
I left a list on your desk.

First day back, and everyone
wants me to hold their hands.

You know,
I've never been

in a psychiatrist's
office before.

First time.

I keep looking
for the couch.

So do my patients.

I keep telling them
it's bad for their posture.

"Bad for their posture."
That's very good.

I'll tell you, you put me
in a horizontal position,

and I fall asleep.

Nice office, though.
It seems restful.

I guess it, uh, puts people
in the mood to talk, huh?

You know, my sister,
she has a living room.

It's very, very modern.

Well, the minute
you sit down there,

you can't open your mouth.

You know, she's got this big,
kidney-shaped coffee table.

It upsets me
just to look at it.

Her husband,
he doesn't say anything,

and I figure, the coffee table
got to him years ago.

Is there something
I can do for you?

Oh, no.
Not really, doctor. No.

I just came up to
bring back your pen.

I forgot to give it
to you at the inquest.

Well, thanks.
I missed it.

You know, that's my trouble.
I got a bad memory.

My wife tells me I ought to
have strings on all 10 fingers.

Was there anything
else you wanted?

Oh, no.
It's nothing important.

There is one detail
that bothers me.

And what is that?

It's, um...
It's about your luggage.

My luggage?

( flicking lighter)

I think you need
fluid here, huh?

Oh, no. Maybe.

Oh, there, boy,
that's quite a flame, huh?

You were talking
about my luggage.

Yeah.

Uh, now, you took two
suitcases with you, didn't you?

Well, actually, we packed
more than we needed.

Well, I went out
to the airport the other day,

you know,
just a routine check

and it seems as though
you were 13 pounds overweight.

You know,
they keep those records.

Yes. I know.
I charged it on my credit card.

Well,
when you came back--

Now I know
it's a stupid point, doc,

and it doesn't mean anything,
but you were only, uh,

4 pounds overweight,
and I was wondering

what happened
to the other 9 pounds.

I don't see what that has
to do with my wife's death.

Oh, it's all
part of the job.

You know, just trying
to tie the loose ends together.

You went
to a lot of trouble,

didn't you, going
all the way out to the airport?

Forty-five minutes.

Boy, that's quite
a place, that airport.

You know, I get lost
just walking around.

Lieutenant,
about those 9 pounds,

I took along a stack
of trade journals

and medical magazines.

It seems
I never get a chance

to go through them
at the office.

Oh, catching up
on your reading, then, huh?

You might say that.

And you didn't
bring them back, then?

There'd be no reason to.

It was mostly
advertising stuff.

Mm-hmm.

And, uh,
you figured they weighed

as much as 9 pounds?

Well, they'd have to.

Why else
the weight discrepancy?

Yeah.

Well, I guess
that clears that up, then.

Okay, doc.
Thank you very much.

And I'm sorry
I bothered you.

No bother at all.

Oh, listen.
There's one more thing.

Um, you don't remember

what your wife was wearing
that night, do you?

Well, Carol had
so many dresses.

Is it important?

Well, yes.
In a way, it is.

Well, let's see now.

Oh, yes.

She was wearing a blue wool
dress with brass buttons,

if I'm not mistaken.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.

That's what
the stewardess said.

She's back in town,
by the way.

And I spoke to her,
and, uh,

she told me
your wife was wearing

a blue wool dress
with blue kid gloves.

Well, then
that's probably it.

No.

That's funny, though.

If she came home
from the airport,

what did she do
with the dress and gloves?

When we went over your
apartment last week,

we couldn't find them.

Well, they may
have been stolen.

Yeah. Maybe, maybe.

Did you put those
on the list of stolen items?

Really, lieutenant,
how could you expect me

to notice
they were missing?

Still, it's puzzling
when you think about it.

I am...

I mean, why would a guy steal
a dress and a pair of gloves?

What are they worth?

People don't always
do the rational thing.

Oh, they sure don't.

You learn a lot
about that in my line.

Well, I guess
you do in yours too.

Hmm.

( intercom buzzes )

Oh, excuse me.
Yeah?

Miss Hudson is here,
doctor.

I'll be through
in a moment.

I have a patient
coming in now, lieutenant.

Oh. Yeah.

Hey, 2:00.

Oh, that was the one that
called you at your apartment.

Oh, and you say
you have a bad memory.

Well, listen.

It comes and it goes,
you know?

I'm sorry I couldn't have been
any help to you with the dress

and the gloves,
but, uh,

well, maybe you just
missed them in your search.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably
right, doc.

Uh, listen, um, would you mind
if I came over this afternoon

and took another look?

What time do you think
you're gonna be home?

Not before 5:00.

Well, suppose
I meet you there at 5:30.

If you think
it's necessary.

Well, it's just
another loose end.

You understand.

Hmm.

You can go in now,
Miss Hudson.

Thank you.

Oh, miss.

Excuse me, uh,
what was your name again?

Joan Hudson. Why?

Oh, sorry to trouble you,
ma'am.

Who was that man
out there?

Lieutenant Columbo.
He's a police officer. Why?

He wanted
to know my name.

Did you tell him?

What else could I do?

Ray,
is something wrong?

Well, he was with me
when you called.

I told you not to try
to get in touch with me.

I had to.

When I read that
Carol was still alive,

I wanted to warn you.

Well,
don't worry about it.

As far as he knows,

you're just another
patient on my list.

Now...

Now I am going to call
the cleaners.

You did as I told you,
didn't you?

You left Carol's
dress and gloves

with the rest
of the laundry?

Gloves?

Yes, dress and gloves.

Well, you know, Joan.
I told you.

( dialing phone )

( stops dialing )

What is it?

Well, I changed
in the restroom at the airport

and put her things
in my bag.

Then I went back
to your apartment

and left the dress
with the other laundry.

Go on.

Well, I forgot
about the gloves.

I didn't even think of them
until you mentioned them.

But we went over it.

How many times
did I tell you?

I'm sorry.

What difference
does it make?

Is it that important?

"Is it that important?"

Where are the gloves now?

They're in my other bag,
at home.

I haven't used it
since that night.

Let me think.

We're safe as far
as the dress is concerned.

It's at the cleaners.

Now, the gloves,
they're small.

They can be
easily overlooked.

They can be
almost anywhere.

Listen.

Columbo's coming back
to my apartment.

He wants to make
another search.

Now you go back home,

get the gloves
and come back to my place.

I'll see you there
in an hour.

Why can't I just
throw them away?

Because I want him
to find them.

He'll only be satisfied

if all of his loose
ends are in place.

But, Ray--

Now you just do
as I say, darling.

Hurry.

( doorbell rings )

There you are.

Did you bring them?

Good.
Put them on the table.

I'll hide them
in her bureau.

Columbo's going
to find them this time.

Would you like a drink?

Please.

Are you angry with me?

Not at all.

I would have to do
something foolish.

I kept going over
everything in my mind.

But those stupid gloves.

Don't you worry about it.
We've protected ourselves.

I've missed you.

I'm lucky I was working.

It helped me
get through the week.

It's behind us now.

What about that man,
that Columbo?

You'll never see him
again.

But why does
he keep bothering you?

Because Carol's death
has been almost too perfect.

That's what irritates him.
It's like a speck in his eye.

Why, he'd even look for flaws
in the Old Testament.

You don't seem to be
very upset about it.

Why should I be?

Whatever he turns up,
I've got an answer for.

Eventually
he'll lose interest

and start hounding
someone else.

I wish I could
feel that sure.

The past two weeks

I've been trying
to find an excuse

for what we've done.

I haven't been
very successful.

Joan, there was
no other option.

Does that justify?

Yes.

We're in love.

We want
a future together.

That's all the justification
we need.

Look, this isn't something
you just forget.

Don't let it interfere
with what we have.

I won't.

All we have to do
is wait.

I promise
I'll make it up to you.

( door lock rattling )

( rattling continues )

What are you doing here?

Doctor, I, uh...

I just kind of thought
that I'd save you some time

and look
for the stuff myself.

I mean, I just didn't want
to inconvenience you

more than I have to.

Don't you people usually
require a search warrant?

I just didn't think
it was necessary, doctor.

I mean, you gave me
permission, didn't you?

Say, uh, what are you
doing here now?

It bothered me too.

I wanted to save some time
for both of us.

There are the gloves,
lieutenant.

I found them in one
of Carol's bureau drawers.

What do you know
about that?

We covered every inch
of that bureau.

Well, we must've
missed these.

You didn't find the dress
by any chance, did you?

RAY: No, I turned
the place upside down.

It's not here.

Gee, I wonder
what she did with it.

I'm afraid
I have no idea.

Well, why don't
we both take another look.

RAY: Lieutenant?

It's not in the apartment.

I went through
every one of the closets.

Well, there's a laundry hamper
in the bedroom, isn't there?

But I just told you--

Well, there's no harm
in checking, is there?

( doorbell rings )

Lieutenant,
would you mind getting that?

I don't feel like
talking to anyone.

MAN: Rodeo Cleaners.

Uh, doctor.

How much
do I owe you?

$4.50.

Keep the change.

Thank you.

Say, isn't that
your wife's dress?

Well, of course.

Well, she must've put it
outside for the cleaners

when she got back
from the airport.

Yes, that makes sense.

It certainly matches
the description.

May I take a look?

Take a good look at it,
lieutenant.

Well, I've got to get back
to my office.

I guess we've both
wasted a lot of time.

Well, listen.

I'm sorry about all this,
doctor.

I seem to be making
a pest of myself.

( phone ringing )

Yeah? Oh, lieutenant!

It's for you.

Yeah. Thanks.

Columbo.

Yeah.

Who?

Are you sure?

Well, what do you
know about that?

Hmm.

Yeah.

All right.

Yes, I'll be
right down. Yeah.

That does it, doc.

Does what?

We just got a confession.

A fella just admitted
killing your wife.

Listen. I got to go.

If I get any more information,
I'll call you.

Isn't that funny
the way those things happen?

( door closes )

How did you break
the window, Tommy?

I had this flashlight,

and I knocked it
through the glass.

What happened next?

I told you.

She came out.

I didn't think
she'd be home.

You mean Mrs. Flemming?

Yeah.

She was wearing this--
this nightgown.

Yeah. Go on.

Well, the second
she saw me,

she started
to yell her head off.

So I ran over
to keep her quiet.

I put my hand
over her mouth...

and then I, uh...

I just strangled her.

COLUMBO: Mm-hmm.
And then what happened?

Like I said,
I began taking things.

The silverware,
a couple of candle holders,

a couple of lighters

and the jewelry.

Did you take
any money, Tommy?

Yeah, she had about
30 bucks in her purse.

What did you do
with the stuff that you stole?

I fenced it.

Where?

Why should
I get him in trouble?

What did
he give you for it?

Look, lieutenant,

how many times
do we have to go over this?

I told you I killed her.
That ought to be enough!

Tommy, why that
particular apartment?

I saw them leaving
with their luggage.

The initials
on his bag said "R.F."

So I looked
at the mailboxes,

and I saw
"Dr. Ray Flemming, penthouse,"

the only name
that fit the initials.

Now that was
pretty shrewd of you.

How many jobs have you had
in the past few months?

One or two.

If I was working steady,

would I be breaking
into apartments?

No, I guess
you wouldn't.

All right. That's all.
You can take him out.

Well, that was quick.

Well, you've been
very cooperative, Tommy.

What do you think,
doc?

I don't believe
a word he says.

Really? Why?

He knew exactly
what was stolen.

He knew how the thief
got into the apartment.

He knew what your
wife was wearing.

And so does everyone
who reads the papers.

Yes, that's true.
That's true.

The boy's
obviously neurotic.

Some people have an urge
to confess after every murder.

I've even treated
a few of them.

They have a compulsion
to purge themselves.

Maybe they just want to get
their names in the papers.

But the boy's story
does not hold up.

You know,
you might be right.

You know,
come to think of it,

didn't he say

that your wife
was screaming

and he put his hand
over her mouth?

And then he said
he lowered his hands

and he strangled her.

I don't know
what you're getting at.

Well, your wife
was strangled from behind.

There were thumb
indentation marks

on the back of her neck,
not on the front.

Oh, and I checked
one more thing, doc.

Tommy was discharged

from the army
on a Section 8.

He's mentally unstable.

If you knew that,
why did you ask what I thought?

Oh, well, I, uh...

I just wanted to get another
professional opinion, doc.

I mean no offense.

I don't have to be
a psychiatrist

to know that
the boy's lying.

Why not?

For one thing, I have
no initials on my luggage.

Oh, yeah.

I was gonna
check that out

if you told me that you
believed Tommy's story.

I thought you might.

It also occurred to me
that you may have planted

this whole Tommy episode.

Now why on earth
would I do a thing like that?

Oh, that reminds me.

Did you do any fishing
while you were in Acapulco?

A little. Why?

Oh, it's nothing important.

It's just that, uh,
I'm a terrific bug on fishing.

You know, my wife and I,
we're looking for a place

to take a vacation
this summer.

You see,
the trouble with places

around here is that, um,

well, people keep dumping

all kinds of things
off the boat.

You know, bottles, cans.

Oh, it's a terrible shame.
Criminal.

And, uh,
well, I suppose

you don't notice that
in the ocean, do you?

I mean, it's so big,

it would
just swallow everything up.

Uh, tell me, uh...

Those trade journals
and those medical books,

did you take them with you
when you went fishing?

Lieutenant,
for the past week

you've been asking me some
rather pointless questions,

and I am getting
very tired of them.

Oh, I'm sorry, doc.

I just thought that,

well, a boat's a good place
to get some reading done.

What do my reading habits
have to do with this?

You've been concentrating
on everything

but the man who broke
into my apartment.

Or is this some new type
of police procedure?

I'm only, uh...

I want the man
who murdered my wife.

Everything else
is irrelevant.

Well,
I'm only trying to...

I know, you're only trying
to tie up loose ends.

Well, if you spent a little
less time on loose ends,

maybe you'd come up
with something important.

You know, sometimes
I get the impression

you think I killed my wife.

You?

Oh, no, doc.

How could you?
You were out of town.

I'm glad
you remembered that.

Unless you think I hired
someone to kill her.

The boy who confessed?
Maybe I paid him to do it.

No, doc.
You didn't do that.

How do you know?

I already asked him.

Are you serious?

I am.

He's making an absolute
pest of himself.

Telephone calls,
question and answer sessions.

He's even bothering me
at the office.

It's getting ridiculous.

He's probably trying too hard.
I'll have a word with him.

Well, a word
won't do it.

Burt,
you won't believe this,

but somewhere
in the back of his mind

he thinks I'm involved
with Carol's murder.

You?
You've got to be kidding.

I'm not,
and neither is Columbo.

Look, isn't there some way
you can get him off my back?

Well, if he's
pushing that hard--

I guess
I can pull a few strings.

All right.
Consider it done.

Well, that was painless.

Looks like
I owe you a favor.

Forget it.
What are friends for?

Evening, doctor.

I just stopped by
with some news

I thought
you might be interested.

I got taken off
the case today.

I'm no longer
working on it.

Oh.

Yeah, and it happened
all of a sudden too.

You know,
I was sitting at my desk,

and a call came down
from upstairs

and they told me
that they wanted me

to work on
something else.

Real strange.

And they told me
to turn my files

over to Lieutenant Silver,

who's a very nice guy,
but he's young

and not experienced
in this kind of thing.

That is funny.

Here I thought
I was doing a good job.

How unfortunate for you.

But I suppose they know
what they're doing.

Well, you'll have to excuse me.
I've got a dinner engagement.

Where? At the Gordons?

And why do you
say that?

Well, you're a good friend
of Mr. Gordon, aren't you?

I mean, last week
at the hospital

he invited you over.

You remember that.

No,
it isn't the Gordons.

No?

A lady friend, maybe?

I don't think
it's any of your business.

No, I guess not.

I was wondering, doctor,

would you take me on
as a patient?

Take you on as a what?

No, I mean it.
Maybe you can help me.

I don't know, but

there must be
something wrong with me.

I seem to bother people.

I seem
to make them nervous

and maybe you could
tell me why.

Are you serious?

I'm very, very serious.

I've never been
more serious in my life.

My wife says I ought to
have it looked into,

so I told her I know
this psychiatrist.

And I figure if I came here
like once a week,

maybe we could
get it ironed out.

You know what I think
the problem is?

I think
I'm too suspicious.

I don't trust people.
That's my trouble.

For instance,
when I get taken off a case,

right away I figure
somebody put the pressure on.

Right away
I ask myself why.

What do you think, doc?

I think you'd better
get out of here.

Beg your pardon?

Columbo,
you're a public servant.

You say you've been
taken off the case.

Fine.

Bother me again, and I shall
have to talk to your superiors.

You've been talking to a lot
of people these days, doctor.

( chuckles )

Columbo,
you are magnificent.

You really are.

Well, what makes you
say that, doc?

You are the most
persistent creature

I've ever met,
but likeable.

The astonishing thing is
you're likeable.

Has anyone ever told you
you're droll?

Who? Me?

Yes, you?

Oh, come on, doc.
Come on.

( laughing )

Oh, but you are.

You're a sly little elf,

and you should be
sitting under

your own private
little toadstool.

You say you've been
thrown off the case,

and yet you have the flagrant
audacity to come back here

and bother me again.

I respect that.

It irritates me,
but I respect it.

( mouthing )

How about a drink?

Well, all right.

Hey, now,
that's pretty clever.

You can always have a snort
between patients, huh?

I haven't given you
a Rorschach test yet,

but I've got a hunch
you're a bourbon man.

Thank you very much,
doctor.

What'll we drink to?

Oh, I don't know.
How about you and me?

Fine.

Like to read,
huh, doctor?

Yes, I do.

You read
murder mysteries?

Not very often.

Oh, me, I love them.
I find them nice and relaxing.

You know, the only
trouble is that

they got nothing
to do with real life.

I mean,
the guy who did it,

they catch him
every time,

and you and I
know that

it doesn't always
work out that way.

You never stop, do you?

What?

The insinuation,
the change of pace.

You're a bag of tricks,
Columbo.

Right down to that
prop cigar you use.

Oh, come on, doc.

I'm going to tell you
something about yourself.

You say
you need a psychiatrist?

Maybe you do,
maybe you don't.

But you are the textbook
example of compensation.

Of what, doc?

Compensation.
Adaptability.

You're an intelligent man,
Columbo,

but you hide it.

You pretend you're
something you're not.

Why?

Because
of your appearance.

You think you cannot get by
on looks or polish,

so you turn a defect
into a virtue.

You take people
by surprise.

They underestimate you,

and that's where
you trip them up.

Like coming here tonight.

Boy, you've got me pegged
pretty good, doctor.

I'm gonna have to
watch myself with you

'cause, uh, you figure out
people pretty good.

Now you're trying
flattery.

No, really,
I'm serious, doctor.

You've got a gift there.

Oh, I know it's your job

and I know you've studied
for years, but still it's...

Well, it's amazing
that a person can come in here

and sit down,
and in a couple of hours

you know all about them.

Well, not quite.

Psychiatry
isn't a parlor trick.

Oh, I didn't
mean that.

No, I was just,

I was just
wondering that, uh...

Well, no.
I guess that isn't possible.

What isn't?

Well, I know
it's easy enough

to figure out
about a patient

or a guy like me that's always
hanging around all the time,

but what about
a stranger?

What about a, uh,

a fellow that you've
never met before?

Can you tell
what makes him tick?

Any particular one
in mind?

No, nobody special.
Just a type.

Like a murderer,
for instance?

Well, yeah.

Now that you mention it...

I guess
we're on the same wavelength.

Yes, I guess we are.

What about this
hypothetical murderer?

Well, I'm not talking
about your average hothead

you know, the guy
who pops somebody

over the noggin
with a bottle.

What I mean is,
uh, the kind of man

that, uh, figures
everything out in advance,

who takes
everything step by step.

What do you know about
that kind of man, doctor?

I should charge you
for this.

But since
it's on a theoretical basis,

let's just call it
a free consultation.

All right.

All right.

We are talking about a man
who commits a crime,

not the garden variety
of barroom brawl,

but an elaborate
intellectual project.

What do we know
about this man?

Obviously,
he's not impulsive.

He plans. He calculates.

He minimizes risks.

He's oriented by his mind,

not by his emotion.

And he's probably
well educated too.

Like maybe
a professional man?

Like maybe.

At any rate,
an orderly man

with an eye
for detail and courage.

Courage?

Oh, certainly.

To go through
a thing like this,

whatever it may be,

it takes
a strong nervous system.

Well, you could be right.

But one thing
bothers me, doctor.

This man
that we're talking about

has taken a human life.

Now wouldn't you say
that he was insane?

Why?

Because he committed
an immoral act?

Morals are conditioned,
lieutenant.

They're relative,
like everything else is today.

Our murderer may be
as sane as you and me.

Killing may be
repugnant to him,

but if it's his only solution,
he uses it.

That's pragmatism,
my friend, not insanity.

Tell me, doctor.

How do you catch
a man like that?

You don't.

You're probably right.

He sounds
just too clever for us.

What I mean is,
you know, cops,

we're not the brightest
guys in the world.

Of course, we got one thing
going for us.

We're professionals.

I mean, you take our
friend here, the murderer.

He's very smart,

but he's an amateur.

I mean, he's got
just one time to learn.

Just one.

With us,
well, with us

it's a business.

You see, we do this
a hundred times a year.

I'll tell you, doc.

That's a lot of practice.

It didn't help you
very much, did it?

I mean,
with all that experience,

you jumped
to the wrong conclusion.

What do you mean?

I didn't kill my wife.

I never said you did.

Oh, that's true.

Imply.
"Imply" is more the word.

But if I killed my wife...

and I did say "if"...

you're never going
to be able to prove it.

So why don't we
just part as friends?

You go on
to something new,

and I'll forget this
whole thing ever happened.

As a matter of fact,
there's no reason

for us to see
each other again.

Well, I have
to be going now.

Well,
I'll go out with you.

No, no,
you just stay here,

relax, search the office.

Oh!

And if you
want another drink,

help yourself.

Good night.

Oh, by the way,
when you leave,

turn out the light.

( door closes )

COLUMBO:
Uh, Miss Hudson.

Who are you?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo,
ma'am.

Police.

We met the other day.
Remember?

What's this all about?

Is there someplace
where we could go,

where we could talk?

Why?

Oh, just a few routine
questions, that's all.

Would you
like some ice cream?

No, thanks.
Questions about what?

Uh...

Well,
could we go in there?

This is quite a place.

Lieutenant, would you mind
telling me why you're here?

Yes, of course,
I was hoping you might help us

with a case
that we're working on.

What case is that?

Lieutenant?

The Flemming case.

Oh, you mean Dr. Flemming,
my psychiatrist?

Uh-huh.

Is he
in some kind of trouble?

What was that?

I said, is he
in some kind of trouble?

Well,
you might say he is.

Sit down, Miss Hudson.

There's no rule
about smoking here, is there?

No.

Well, then if you don't mind,
I'll light up.

See, a lot of women,
they don't like cigars.

Now, my wife,
she prefers a pipe.

And I could never
get used to those things.

There's just too much
to carry around with you.

How long have you known
Dr. Flemming?

You mean, how long
has he been treating me?

Well, that's the same thing,
isn't it?

I've been seeing him
for about a year.

Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.

That checks out.

By the way,
when was the last time

that you
spoke to Dr. Flemming?

Last week when I met you.

Oh, that's right.
Yes.

Lieutenant,
would you mind explaining--

Are you working here
on a movie now?

That's right.

Well, I'm gonna have to see it
when it comes out.

What are you? Are you--

Are you playing a Roman girl
or a Greek girl?

Do you do your own makeup?

What has this got to do
with Dr. Flemming?

Pardon me?

Lieutenant,
you're not being very clear.

You came here to ask me
about a man I hardly know.

You said he was in trouble.

Now, before we go on,

suppose you tell me
what kind of trouble.

Well, I know that this is gonna
come as a shock to you...

but we think
that he killed his wife.

You seem stunned.

Well, of course
I'm stunned.

I don't believe it.

No?

Hey, I wonder
who these belong to.

Well, maybe somebody
left them by mistake.

Miss Hudson, uh...

Well, you seem nervous.

Haven't you seen
a pair of sunglasses before?

Would you like to
try them on?

Why should I?

But there's no reason
why you shouldn't, either.

Is there?

I think I'd better go.

Sit down, Miss Hudson.

If you insist
on questioning me,

I'm going to have
to call my lawyer.

Sit down.

You can't stop me
from calling my lawyer.

You have no right
to order me around.

You're not even
on this case anymore.

Well, now,
how did you know that?

Dr. Flemming told me.

Oh, but you said
that you hadn't seen

Dr. Flemming
since last week.

He called me.

Oh, is the doctor
in the habit of doing that?

I'm not going to answer
any more of your questions.

Just one more point,
Miss Hudson,

that I'd like to clear up.

I am on the case.

It's true somebody
tried to pull a few strings.

But my superior,
he doesn't like that.

He gets thinking.

So he said to me, he said,
"Lieutenant Columbo,

you must be
touching a sore spot,

so you just
keep right on trying."

He's very intelligent,
my superior.

I want to call my lawyer.

I don't understand that.

Now Dr. Flemming
killed his wife,

and you want
to call your lawyer.

Would you explain that to me,
Miss Hudson?

I want to call my lawyer.

All right.

Go ahead.

If he wants to know
what the charge is...

it's accessory to murder.

Now go ahead and make
your call, Miss Hudson.

When you get done,
we'll take a drive.

A drive?

Yes, we're gonna
go see the stewardess.

I don't have the blue dress,
and I don't have the gloves,

and I don't think you're going
to try on these sunglasses,

but maybe she'll
remember you anyhow,

wig or no wig.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

You're trying
to confuse me.

I have nothing
to do with this.

With what?

With the thing
that you said about Ray.

Ray?

But you
just called him Ray.

What difference
does that make?

I know him.
He's my doctor.

Your lover?

My doctor.

And you said
you never met his wife?

No,
I never met his wife.

Would you like to see
some pictures of her?

I had them taken
at the morgue.

They're
in my briefcase.

No.

After all,
you saw the real thing.

That must have
been quite a shock.

Why don't you leave me alone?
I didn't do anything.

No?
What about these?

What about the sunglasses?

What about
the overweight luggage?

What about
the argument on the plane?

I don't want to listen
to any of this.

Now you was there
when he strangled her!

Weren't you?

Well, does that mean
that you came later?

I was never there at all.

I think you were.

I think you probably
changed into her dress

while she was
lying there,

and then you and the doctor
went to the airport

and had that fake argument
on the plane, now didn't you?

No!

Didn't you help
plan it with him?

Didn't you help
carry it out with him?

Now, didn't you?

Without you,
that woman would be alive!

Without you, she wouldn't
be lying in a morgue!

Stop it! Stop it!

It couldn't have happened
without you!

Stop it!

Why don't we go downtown

and you can make
a statement?

No.

You have no right.

I have nothing
to do with this,

do you understand?

Nothing.
Nothing at all.

If you want to take me
to the stewardess,

then take me.

If you want to arrest me,
go ahead.

But you can't prove anything.

Now, either charge me
or let me leave.

I don't care what you do.

You can go.

Miss Hudson.

I hope you understand
that this is only the beginning.

In a way,
I feel sorry for you

because from now on
I'm gonna do everything

I can to break you down.

Do you understand?

Dr. Flemming made one mistake,
and you're it.

You're the weak link,
Miss Hudson.

Now you surprised me today
because you were strong.

But there's always tomorrow

and the day after that
and the day after that...

and sooner or later,
you're going to talk to me.

Until you do,
you're going to be questioned,

you're going to be followed

and you're going to be
hounded.

And Dr. Flemming
can't do anything about it.

You're on your own,
Miss Hudson,

and I'm going to
get to him through you.

That's a promise.

( phone ringing )

Hello?

Ray! Oh, thank heavens!

I've been calling for hours.

What's wrong?
You sound upset.

Columbo came to see me
at the studio today.

Columbo?

He tried to break me down.

Did you tell him anything?

No, of course not.

But he knows.

Every detail.
Even the alibi on the plane.

Oh, he's only guessing.
Guesses are no proof.

But why should he be
questioning you?

He's off the case.

No, he's not.
He's right in the middle of it.

Two of his men
are parked outside right now.

Well, I think
we'd better have a talk.

Come in tomorrow
for your appointment.

We'll figure something out.

But can't you
come over here now?

With his men
watching your house?

Joan, use your head.

But you're my doctor!

I mean, there's nothing wrong
in visiting a patient!

He obviously expects us
to get together tonight.

Let's not be predictable.

What are we going to do?

Just ride it out.
You're his last resort.

If you don't panic,
we're home free.

Ray, I have to see you.

You will, in the morning.

Now put on some music,

have yourself a drink
and stop worrying.

Ray!

Yes?

All right. I'll try.

( line disconnects )

Miss Petrie.

Doesn't Miss Hudson
have a 10:00 appointment?

Yes, she does.

It's 10:30.
Why don't you give her a call?

Hello.
Is Miss Hudson...

Well, no, I...

This is the receptionist
in Dr. Flemming's office.

Well, she had an appointment
here this morning.

I see.

I just called Miss Hudson,
and a man answered.

He said he was
from the coroner's office.

Try it again, maybe
you got the wrong number.

This is Dr. Flemming's
office again.

Is Miss Hudson there?

You don't understand.

Dr. Flemming
is her psychiatrist.

Well, I'm only trying
to get some information.

Let me have that.

Hello.
This is Dr. Flemming.

Who are you?

Miss Hudson is under my care.

I want to know what happened.

Look, I am her psychiatrist.

What kind of accident?

Well, then who do I call
to find out?

Look, can't you get it
through your head that...

Never mind.

Miss Petrie,
I'm going out for a while.

Tell my next patient
that I'll be late.

Where is she?

I said, where is she?

She stuffed herself
with barbiturates.

I didn't think...

What didn't you think?

You didn't think what?

Well, I questioned
her yesterday. I...

I guess
I pushed her too far.

I told her that I was gonna
get to you through her.

You had to bring her
into this, didn't you?

Didn't you know what she'd do?
Or didn't you care?

Don't lecture me, doctor!

I'm responsible,

and I'm gonna have
to live with it.

But you're leaving
somebody out.

We both killed that girl,
the two of us together.

She committed suicide

for one reason,
to protect you.

You see,
it was all for you.

For you, doc.

By the way,
congratulations.

I mean, you're home free now,
aren't you?

Boy, it couldn't have
worked out better.

She was the only one
who could've given you away.

Can't touch you anymore, doc.
Nobody can.

You're free and clear.

You won, doc.

The only trouble
is you didn't get

what you were going after.

What is that supposed to mean?

Why, the girl.

You loved her
and you wanted her

and you were willing
to murder for her.

And now she's gone,

and all that planning,
all that sweat...

and you wind up with nothing.

What are you
trying to tell me?

I'm not trying
to tell you anything, doctor.

I was just thinking that...

you're going to be a terribly
lonely man from here on in

and maybe you'd feel better

if you got a few things
off your chest.

Like what?

Like the truth.

Are you asking me
to confess?

Well, is that so strange?

After all, what do you have
to look forward to?

Think about that, doc.

The girl isn't around anymore.

And who knows?
Maybe you owe her something.

What do you say, doc?

( chuckling )

You're a very funny man.

I wasn't trying to be funny.

But you are,
more than you know.

So you want me to purge myself?

My one and only love is dead,

and I have nothing
more to live for, is that it?

All I'm saying, doctor,

is that if you love that girl--

Love that girl?

Look, Columbo,
I overestimated you.

I thought you understood
about human nature.

I never loved that girl.

Come on, doc.

No, really.

Remember that
hypothetical murderer

we were talking about?

He needed an alibi.
The girl was available.

So he used her.
It was as simple as that.

No.

You killed your wife

because you were
in love with the girl.

Well, if I killed Carol
and there's no proof that I did

I did it for myself,

not for some dime-a-dozen
little actress.

She helped you
with the murder.

You'd have had to marry her.

Not really.

Something
would have been arranged.

Like an accident, maybe.

JOAN: Always planning ahead,
aren't you, Ray?

They said there was something
I should hear.

Would you like to make
a statement now?

Why don't we sit down?
We'll be more comfortable.