All language subtitles for Riot.Women.S01E03.720p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR_track4_[eng]

I'm off!

- Everything all right?
- Yeah.

Just...

..contemplating stuff.

You seemed flat
when we got back last night.

It all went so well!

Don't be offended if I make myself
scarce on Sunday, will you?

You're a free agent, Kitty.

I just don't want you to feel
you have to go out.

It's just, erm...

I've got so much shit
to deal with right now

and it just seems a bit pathetic
that all I'm doing about it

is singing some old '70s pop song
with a bunch of...

..very nice, well you anyway,
people.

People who I've never
even met before.

Well, you're going down
to talk to Jess this morning,
aren't you, about work?

And then you'll have some money,
at least.

And we're not just singing
some old '70s pop song, are we?

I don't know
if you can understand this,

but you know I told you
I've been low recently.

Well, all this...

..the possibility of all this,
it's just...

..given me something
to really think about.

I'm probably not somebody
you should put too much faith in.

Well, some of the most
talented people aren't always
the most reliable.

Yeah, but you don't know me.

You know, oddly...

..I feel as if I do.

I need to find
somewhere else to live.

OK.

OK.

- Are you sure you're all right?
- Yeah.

Just...

..shit swirling.

Well, go down and see Jess.
Do you know where the bus stop is?

I'll find it.

- Look after yourself.
- Sure.

# Let's start a riot

# We won't be quiet

# Riot women going to
set this world on fire. #

# I could drink

# A case of you, darling

# And I would

# Still be on my feet

# I'd still be on my

# Feet. #

Where are my things?!

LAUGHTER

Where's that sledgehammer?!

- Did you hear me?! I said I'm
calling...
- Oh, you call
the fuckers! It's 999!

- Christ, she's more angry than you
when you're on your period!
- Oh, my God, she's off her tits!

Do you think they might be
interested in your little habit?!

- Look at that!
- Jesus!

You won't be getting
much trade around here, love!

This is at the owner's house.

It's in his driveway, Stead Lane,
Warley, 4.40, Tuesday afternoon.

A Mr Gavin Peachey.

And he happens to be at home
with his wife and it's him
that's taken this footage.

He says he doesn't know
this woman from Adam.
His wife doesn't know her.

He thinks it's a case of mistaken
identity

and that this is some sort
of vendetta aimed at someone else.

So, does anyone recognise her?

Shrimp, isn't that your missus
off her tits and making
an arse of herself?!

- Ah, come on.
- She looks like
a woman scorned to me.

How come he stops filming her
when she asks about his habit?

- Who knows?
- Maybe he knows
her better than he's letting on.

We'll get her side of the pantomime
when we cop her, won't we?

Well done, detective.

So we need an appeal on social media
along with all the other wanteds,

see if anybody can
help identify her.

- Mr Rudenko, perhaps you could do
that for me?
- Jesus Christ!

Doesn't she fit the description
of that woman in the
supermarket other day?

- Red hair, leopard print coat.
- Nisha, that was you and Holly.

No. She was a different build.
Younger.

Right, that's everything,
ladies and gentlemen, off you pop.

- Hi, Selina. Is he in?
- Holly, go
through. He's expecting you.
- Thanks.

All right, guv'nor?!

Holly, hello.

I just popped in before I hang up
my bits and pieces to let you know

that misogyny is alive and well
in your division right now,

as we speak, alive and kicking.

Just like in the '90s. Yay!

- Do you want some tea?
- Tea?

No. I just want to know
what you're going to do

about the insidious toxic male
culture that flourishes
under your aegis.

How's retirement?

So, two days ago, downstairs, here -

one colleague comes up behind
another colleague sat at his desk

and grabbed hold of his dick -
seriously -

and went, "Ding-ding!"

Seriously. He's sitting at his desk,
doing the call backs.

Next thing he knows this
other fella's

fumbling around for his cock and ...

"Ding-ding."

- Are you winding me up?
- No.

Has he put in a complaint?

What? And get a reputation for being
a wuss, for not taking a joke?

Course not. He doesn't want his
colleagues not turning up

in an emergency, does he?

Which we all know happens.

To those who snitch.

Well, how did he react?

Well, he didn't.

First off, he's on the phone
being polite to a victim of crime

and then, in the moment,
he was like, "Did that just happen?"

I mean, out there
on the street, some nutter tries

a stunt like that, you're going to
deck 'em, aren't you?

You're going to rip their spleen
out for 'em, but in the office?

- You don't expect it.
- Good God.

It's repugnant.
Who'd do that?

- What's his name?
- Alec Rudenko.

Rudenko. Right, OK.

Well, I'm afraid to say I think I'd
have lamped him one

- had it have been me.
- Yeah.

Only he's a big fella.

It did cross this colleague's
mind to lamp him one.

But he'd have denied it. Obviously.
His word against the other fella's.

And then the other fella woulda
been the one in bother.

No evidence of any ...

"Ding-ding" on the one hand,

but plenty of evidence
of a fractured jaw on the other.

So all these things
went through his mind

and, in the heat of the moment,
yeah, he just...

..froze.

Well, we can't have that.

So...

Sorry, I thought you said misogyny?
So, is this fella...

..what, gay or...?

I did! You're right.

I did say misogyny.

Damn, I'm sorry.

I misremembered.

It wasn't this bloke's dick
he grabbed, that's right,

it was this woman's tits. Yeah.

"Beep-beep." Not "Ding-ding."

Oh! OK.

Yeah? Not so shocked after all?

Only a woman.
Par for the course.

You can brush it off now, can you?

Sweep it under the carpet?

She needs to put in a complaint.

Yeah. She won't. For the same reason
outlined earlier.

Right, well, Holly, the truth is...

You don't need to cross
his name out,

it did happen
and it was Rudenko that did it.

If I challenged every
officer that had

a complaint of inappropriate conduct
levelled against them,

I wouldn't have anyone left
out there doing the job.

I wonder why you reacted
so differently

when you thought it was a fella
that'd been assaulted.

Don't you find that curious
yourself?

- How's the boys?
- How dare anyone
touch a man like that?

In such an intimate place.

So demeaning, so embarrassing,
so humiliating.

So fucking weird.

But when a man does it to a woman,
"meh."

Cos, well, it's natural.

Good looking woman - who wouldn't
want to squeeze her tits?

I might have a crack at it myself.

Carl says that you've taken up
playing bass guitar.

He did it to humiliate her.

He did it
because he's bigger than she is

and because he knows she can do fuck
all about it without repercussions

and he thinks that's funny.

He thinks it's funny to make people
feel small and silly

and helpless and a bit grubby.

Because he's a deeply unpleasant
human being who takes

pleasure from it. And there
shouldn't be room

for people like that in the service.

- How's Nancy?
- Oh, Mum? Yes.

So, this same officer,
Alec Rudenko -

and I really would urge you not
to cross it out -

he nicked 40 quid out of her purse.

Your ex mother-in-law, he nicked
40 quid out of her purse.

How? When?

You don't need to worry about that,
I'm going to deal with that myself.

You just need to worry
about this other thing.

Which was just as...

..humiliating and chilling
and compromising and disgusting

for the officer involved as if she'd
been a man having his wire pulled.

I do hear what you're saying, Holly.

I know there are problems.

And I know, despite efforts,

it doesn't always look like things
are getting any better.

Tony, they're getting worse.

I can't believe we still have these
conversations,

but the truth is it's getting worse.

Do you want the official response
or the truth?

- SHE CHUCKLES DRILY
- Guess.

Well, it's nothing you don't know.

We are dangerously understaffed.

It's deplorable, it's miserable,
but the truth is

it's a tough job
and sometimes it's a dirty job.

And not unlike the church, it does
have the unfortunate propensity,

now and again, to be fatally
attractive to the wrong sort.

And with fewer resources vetting
the people coming into the job,

yes, it's a problem that's been
getting worse and not better.

Now, I'm one of the good guys

and I really do do what I can
when I can, Holly.

But it frightens ME who we put out
there on the streets sometimes

so I personally cannot wait
to hang my lanyard up

and for this to be someone
else's problem.

I'll ask someone to have a word
with this fella. All right?

No, he wants sacking.

How is the online dating going?

Have you met any more weirdos?

They're not all weirdos!

No more weird than that feckless
non-entity

you decided to start shagging.

Holly!

Bloody hell!

Could you not stay away?
Was retirement so shit?

- How's your mum?
- Hiya.

Rudy. My favourite human being.

Oh, am I?

Yeah, she's fine, thanks.

She'd like that money back, though.

What money?

That money you swiped
out of her purse.

HE CHUCKLES QUIETLY

I didn't swipe any money
out of anybody's purse.

I went down the
railway station this morning

and me and my mate, Hazan,
the station master,

had a quick shunt backwards

through yesterday's CCTV in that
funny little room at the back.

From the car park, not the platform,

we all know that's bust and, yeah...

There you are.

Helping yourself.

CCTV in t'car park is bust.

It's all bust.

- It has been for decades.
- Yeah.

- They fixed it. Last Monday.
- No, they didn't.

You're bang to rights, Rudy.

You're there in black and white

with your pants round your ankles
and your hand in the till.

Now, I tell you what. You give it
back to me right now,

and the matter will end. OK?

And it'll never get mentioned again.

On the other hand,

if you're going to
play silly bastards,

I'll be off upstairs and I'll push
the thing just as far as it'll go.

And I've got nothing to lose now,
have I?

Cos I'm out of here.

I didn't nick it -
I'm giving you this to shut you up.

- All of it!
- That was all of it!

Oh, as if I'd do anything like that.

As if.

Rudy? I lied.

That CCTV is still bust.

But I know you.

Don't think I don't.

And the problem is,

I don't know
if I'm even eligible any more.

To enter the contest.

Now the...little ones
aren't even living here.

Yeah, but you're still their
grandmother, aren't you, though?

So they probably want all
the entries they can get. So...

Oh, no,
it's been really popular.

Loads of people have signed up,
they don't need us.

Do you want to see me P45?

Yeah, I can do.

You see, this is the thing.

They put information on the notice
board in the foyer at school.

And if I'm not popping in every day
I've no way of seeing it, have I?

I mean, you know, they might change
the date, or...or...

- Or cancel it. I've got no way
of knowing.
- No. Yeah.

I shouldn't let it bother me.

I should just carry on regardless
like everyone else.

Not give a monkey's.
No-one else does.

Did you not know she was gay, then?

She's not gay. She's no more
gay than you and me.

Do you think you might be in denial?

That's out of date, love.

Have you worked behind a bar before?

So, I was in Barcelona for
five years in my, like, mid-20s.

I worked in a couple of bars then.

Five years?

Hablas Espanol?

Si. Un poco.

So who was your
last employer over here?

So I worked in this nail bar
in Cleckheaton for a bit, but

it winked up and I don't know
where the woman went.

I had a phone number for her, but
last time I tried ringing it

it didn't work and... I always
thought she was a bit dodgy.

I did wonder if it was a money
laundering outfit for her boyfriend.

I mean, I say boyfriend, I'm never
sure what he was.

- Right, and before that?
- The thing is, I've not actually

been working
because I didn't need to.

Because Gavin took care
of everything, and I thought

that's how it was going
to be so, you know...

- Right, what about a character
reference?
- Erm...

Trying to think.

Does Beth know
you've been in prison?

Holly told me.

Twice, apparently.

That was a long time ago.

- Do you want me to leave?
- No.

I promised Beth I'd give you
a trial run, and I will.

Now, I've had ex-cons in here before
and I'm all for giving people

a fair chance,
but I'm not a soft touch, OK?

Does she know? Beth?

No.

I will tell her
if you want me to.

I'm going to leave that with you,
love.

Right,
let's get your tax code sorted.

- Can you work this weekend?
- I can do Saturday, tomorrow.

But this Sunday...

I've just got this thing
at lunchtime.

But normally I can do Sundays.

All right, £12.50 an hour,
plus tips.

How does that sound?

Good.

Have you been scrapping?

How's things?

Yeah. Good.

- So, what are you after?
- QUIETLY: 2oz.

OK. Well, I haven't got that
much on me, it's in t'car.

Where are you going to sell it?

- Does it matter?
- No.

Just, er, be careful.

What, police?

No, you silly bitch.

Other dealers.

You don't fancy giving me a lift
back over t'tops

towards Ripponden, do you?

Yeah, can do.

You look nice.

Shut up! Move your fucking chair!

I hope you've got enough
lolly on you.

You still owe me, you bastard.

LOUD UK RAP PLAYS

YOU CAN DROP ME OFF HERE!

- WHAT?!
- DROP ME OFF...

MUSIC STOPS

- Just drop me here.
- What, here?
- Yeah.

TYRES SQUEAL

- We's in the middle of fuckbutt
nowhere, man.
- It's fine.

- No, I can't leave you here.
- Listen, Spongebob -

there's something
else you can do for me.

What?

I want to know where my dad is.

I cannot get involved with your dad.

I'm not asking you to get involved.

Just ask around and see if anyone
knows how I can get hold of him.

Yeah, but, I mean, I don't know who.

- But, yeah,
I can put out a few feelers.
- Thanks.

Kitty? You're going to get mugged
and raped and murdered up here.

Who by?

- By whom?
- I'm nervous for you.

- Bless.
- On your head.

Mind how you go.

ENGINE REVS

TYRES SCREECH

MUSIC: Dissolved Girl
by Massive Attack

# Shame, such a shame

# I think I kind
of lost myself again... #

- HOLLY:
- You could probably write
a song

about most kids, though, couldn't
you?

- BETH:
- I could about Tom.

Well, I think you must be a saint

for adopting someone else's
unwanted child.

NISHA: You don't know if he was
unwanted.

Sometimes people just can't cope.

I think his mum was...very young.

You know, tragically too young.

# Say, say my name

# I need a little love
to ease the pain

# Need a little love
to ease the pain

# It's easy to remember,
when it came

# Cos it feels like I've been,
I've been here before

# You're not my saviour,
but I still don't go

# Feels like something
that I've done before... #

SHE SCREAMS

KNOCK ON WINDOW

Oh, has it been raining?

Is Beth in?

No. She's at work.

And you are...?

I'm standing here
telling you that she's at work.

I'm Margaret. And Michael.

We live at Lower Crofting,
just down here.

We're neighbours.

And we just saw you
limping down Beth's drive,

and we were just concerned.

Oh, I fell over coming over
that stile up there.

You know, the one coming down
from those massive rocks...

- Oh, yes!
- ..in the middle of nowhere.
- I know the one. It needs mending.

It's my own fault for going out
dressed like a twat, but...

I have spoken to the farmer
about it.

- And does Beth know you're here?
- Where?

Here. In her house.

No.

No.

I've broken in so I can steal all
her old copies

of the Times Literary Supplement
she leaves piled up everywhere.

MARGARET CHUCKLES

- So you're saying you're a friend
of hers?
- Is that a problem?

You smell of alcohol.

Shall I tell you what you smell of?

Does Beth know you're here?
Because I'm not sure that she does.

Ring her.

How do you know Beth?

We're in the same rock band.

Beth isn't in a rock band.

- Is she?
- Shit, what the fuck?

"Beth isn't in a rock band."
Says who?

- I haven't heard anything about Beth
being in a rock band.
- Oh, OK!

Well, she mustn't be in a rock band
if YOU don't know anything about it.

Yeah? Cos nothing exists
unless you know about it.

Is that right?

Oh, my God!

Are you God?

Who knew that God wore a cagoule
and stupid little glasses?

Is there somebody else
in there besides you?

You tell me, pal,
with your all-seeing eye.

- Is she really in a rock band?
- Yeah.

I think we should call the police.

I don't think they can arrest people
for being in a rock band,

I think you might be
on a sticky wicket there.

- Why don't you try Beth again first?
- She'll be teaching.

What time is it?

She finishes at three.

You try her then.

Would you like a cup of tea, lady?
While you're waiting?

I can put the kettle on.
It's no trouble.

You'll have to stand out here in't
drizzle cos I find you offensive.

No, no, I'm fine. Honestly.

Seriously, you're all wet, love.

This misfit can dissolve.

No, honestly, I'm fine.

We just... You know, we just look
out for each other round here

because it's very remote.

I tell you what...

..if you're so bigly bothered
about Beth's interests,

and you're such a massive
great know-it-all,

then you would know
that she's been very low lately.

Well, did you know that?

- Has she?
- Sorry, love.
I'm talking to this fella now.

Yeah, she's been...

Well, how well do you know her?

We've been neighbours
for 20 years.

And I do know
since Martin left she's been...

..on her own.

And then Tom.

What about Tom?

Oh, well. You know.

He's always been a bit of a handful
one way or another.

- Have you met him?
- No.

He's coming for his dinner
on Sunday,

I'm going to meet him, then.

Oh! Well, that's nice.

That he's coming over.
Nice for Beth.

I'm sorry to hear
she's been feeling...

So how is he a handful?

Well, when he was younger...

I mean, he's a charming lad in many
ways, don't misunderstand me,

but, you know...

..a few incidents.

But I think he's very different now.

And of course
he's...he's married now to, erm...

Oh, what's she called?
His wife?

Er ...

Oh, Fearne

Fearne. That's right.

Yeah. And what was your name?

I'll text Beth, tell her to ring
you as soon as she can. All right?

Yeah, why don't you do that?

Ta-ta, then.

Oh, yes, bye.

Bye. Bye-bye.

It's Kitty, by the way.

Kitty! Bye-bye.

Yeah, and don't you forget it.

INTRUIGING ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

KITTY: Yeah, but you don't know me.

You know, oddly...

..I feel as if I do.

MUSIC INTENSIFIES

..clueless without me...

What are you writing?

A song. Well, bits for a song.

Ingredients for a song.
You know?

Slapping it all down there,
throwing it in the trolley.

Is it an angry song? You look angry.

It's about Chloe.

About all the heartache and misery
and one damned thing after another,

right from when she was six.

Five.

Four! And now this.

- Yeah, I never had her down for a...
- Fucking Inez.

You couldn't make it up. Inez!

I think that bitch was sent
to the planet for one thing

and one thing only -
to torment me

Have you been drinking?

Yeah, I've had a bit.

That's the short route to chaos.

Don't fucking lecture me, Jerry.
I'm really not in the mood for it.

No, I'm just saying. It's a Friday
night, you're going to be busy,

someone might kick off,
you need be able to handle it.

I don't need advice from the fella
who delivers the beer, all right?

Have you got a plastic glass?

Sure.

There you go.

- See you next week.
- Bye.

Where's he off?

No idea.

- Come on, look lively.
- Yeah, erm, thing is, erm...

I got this text earlier off Chloe
asking me and Auntie Mary

if we'd like to go round to her
and Inez's for tea on Sunday.

Well, no, you don't, tell her.

Unless you do want to, in which case
you knock yourself out.

I don't want to. I just...

Don't you think
for the babies' sake,

it'd be good to have some contact?

She made a choice,

and she knew what the consequences
would be when she made it,

which is why she was so bloody
secretive about it all. Right?

So, have you replied?

No! I wouldn't go without
talking to you.

- I was just...
- What?

It was a long time ago,
what happened with Inez.

And it wasn't...

You know it weren't her fault.

What? Wasn't her fault?!

Telling the whole of Hebden Bridge
that your dad was having it off

behind my back
with anyone and everyone!

Humiliating me in front of
all and fucking sundry!

I think you'll find
it was her fault.

Yeah, but for your own sake
can't you just...?

Just let it go! I bet you've got
just as many punters in here tonight

as she's got in over there!
More, probably.

Whose side are you on?!

- Fuck this!
- What are you doing?
Where are you going?

I'm going to play my drums!

- OH, MY GOD!
- Oh, my God!

MELISSA SCREAMS

It's fine, you're fine.

This is nothing.
Wait till you're fully dilated.

- What?!
- The thing is,
is babies heads are big.

Bigger than the average vagina.

Bigger than 79% of women's vaginas.
It's a design flaw.

No, but that's...

SHE CRIES OUT

No-one told me it'd be like this!!

Yes, but if we told everybody
everything,

no-one would get pregnant,
would they?

Then where would we be?
Better off, probably,

as the world boils and drowns.
MELISSA EXHALES HEAVILY

Come and have a look
down the business end, Daddy,

- before the fun really starts.
- I'm good, thanks.

Oh, my God! Fucking hell.

- Jesus Christ!
- That's it!

Keep breathing.

Oh, and you've got a little
haemorrhoid popped

- out down there as well.
- Wh...? A what?

It's very common.

Haemorrhoids, childbirth,
they go hand-in-hand.

You mean, I've got piles?
Like his dad?!

I'll pop it back up there
for you later.

I can give you that little
injection. For the misery.

- Would you like that?
- Yes. Yes. Yes.

OK.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to be ripped asunder.
I'm going to be split in two.

Jesus. I'm being ransacked
and laid waste.

This is crazy,
why can't we lay eggs?

I mean, I bet that's painful enough,
but this is medieval.

Why've they not worked out something
else before now?

Can you imagine the legions of women
doing this in times of yore

without pain control?

Can you imagine doing this
in the Blitz?

Bombs exploding all around you,

buildings crashing to the ground
and you're doing this?!

How have we got onto the Blitz?!

It's the gas and air,
they get giddy.

- Breathe.
- You fucking breathe!

What are you writing? I thought you
were getting me an injection.

I am, just got to go and sign it
out of the cupboard. Two ticks.

You're in charge.

Will you get out
of my peripheral vision?!

Does it...does it really not bother
you that I'm, like,

324 years older than you?

It's just a number.

Look, I wouldn't have come
and met you three times, would I,

if it bothered me!

- Yeah, but...
- It's like...

..your vibe...

..it's not like a woman
in her 50s.

And, anyway, I...

..I like people with experience.

RINGTONE: THE FLIGHT OF THE
VALKYRIES BY WAGNER

Oh...

My fucking sister. Let me get it.
Hang on.

How may I help you?

What rhymes with haemorrhoids?

Oh. Erm...

Lemon...woids.

What's lemon woids?

Well, "woids" is "words"
in a New York accent.

And lemon is bitter? Bitter woids?

Like an argument?
"Bidder woids." "Lemon woids."

Bit rappy? What else?
Er, why?

I'm writing a song.

About all the garbage women trot out
when they're popping one out.

I've got a particularly
noisy one in at the moment,

- and it's gold dust.
- Well, have you got a title or a...

A refrain or a...?

Shitting Pineapples.

Oh, we're liking that.

- Never been bettered.
- Yeah, that's landing.

Oh, erm, droids. Androids.

- Opioids
- Opioids.

Lemon woids, haemorrhoids,
opioids...

MELISSA SCREAMS

Thanks, see ya. Bye.

Bye-bye, bye-bye.

- She's writing a poem.
- Right.

So...

Want another drink? Or...?

Or.

I think or.

But it'll have to be at your place.

Come on!

DOOR OPENS, SHUTS

Kitty?

- WHISPERS:
- Kitty.

Beth, I'm sorry
I was grumpy this morning.

- SIGHS:
- Well, I think
you're allowed to be a bit grumpy.

You've had things to deal with.

- So, did you go and see Jess?
- Yeah. Yeah, I did.

- Did you have a phone call at all
this aft?
- About?

Oh, it's just these people
in cagoules knocking on the door.

- Oh!
- Oh, did they phone you?

So, there's this assumption
from the middle classes

that I've broken in
and that I'm up to no good.

And then the patriarchy starts
having a go -

"Beth isn't in a rock band!"

And I was like, "Oh, my God!"

I had to stop myself
garrotting him.

Why do men do that?

Why do they always know better,
so categorically fucking better,

even when they just don't?
So, I may have said things in reply

in the heat of the moment.
So, I hope I haven't, you know,

buggered things up
with the neighbours.

So how did you get on with Jess?

Oh, she's giving me a three-month
trial,

see how I get on,
starting tomorrow.

How do you feel about that?

Oh, I started to...try
and write some shit about Gavin,

hoping it would turn itself
into a song.

But when I reread it,
it's just a load of swear words.

This is good stuff.
I like it!

- Oh, surely you can do something
exciting with this.
- Maybe.

Oh, and I were thinking about you
bleeding so heavily.

Would you like me to make you
an appointment at my surgery,

get it dealt with?

- Do you want me to make
the appointment?
- Maybe.

"Fuck you, Mum".

SHE LAUGHS

- What's this?
- Hmm?

"The one that got away."
"The BOY that got away."

It's just another one.

Are you hungry?
I can't be bothered to cook.

- Shall we eat out?
- Sure.

Can I just have a shower
and get changed?

'Course. Help yourself.

Wow!

Thank you.

- Tell me about Tom.
- Tom?

Margaret said he was a handful.

Oh, really?

Yeah, well, I mean,
when he was a teenager,

there were a few incidents.

- Like what?
- Oh, nothing that unusual.

Nothing that a lot of teenage boys
don't get up to -

smoking, drinking,
hanging out with the wrong sort,

drugs and, erm, well...

There was an incident
with a...stolen car.

Police were involved.

Thankfully, it was
a bit of a wake-up call.

He was cautioned. Nothing went on
his permanent record -

thank goodness - and after that,
bar one or two blips,

he got his head down.

He got his A-Levels,
he got into university.

I just think he did it
out of boredom.

It was just...

..the worry at the time, that he had
the instinct to do those things.

How do you feel about him
trying to find his birth mother?

Do you know, you're
the first person to ask me that.

You not going to eat something?

Do you know why he wants
to find her? Like...

- Why now?
- Not really.

So how do you feel about it?

I worry that...

I worry about what he wants

and what he expects
and how it's going to affect him

if his mum isn't what he expects.

I mean, he used to have
a terrible temper on him

and he can still be a bit that way.

Now, I always thought that
that was something to do

with him being adopted.

And I suppose,
from my own point of view,

if he did suddenly have another mum,
as well as me,

well, I could feel even more
redundant in his life

than I do already -

if I was being small-minded,
which I can be.

Are you all right?

Kitty?

I'm going to tell you something...

..you're not going to believe.

I'm not going to tell you,
cos you won't believe me.

I-I didn't believe it myself.

I'm just going to show you this.

It came about a month ago, and I...

I didn't reply for
a whole load of reasons.

I didn't not reply, as such, I just
never found the right time to reply.

And then last night, when you said
about Tom being adopted

and Kam asked about his birthday,
I mean, it's...

It's the same date.

It's exactly the same date...

..and the right age,
the same sex -

two days old, same hospital
you picked him up from.

I mean, it's not definite.

There could have been other babies
that day that went up for adoption.

But I doubt it,
not from the same hospital.

But the thing is...

..he looks like me.

And I did think about just...

..disappearing today...and
not saying anything, but...

..you've been so kind to me,
I couldn't not tell you.

And then I thought, "Well, maybe
it's fate that we met like we did,"

and...

What are you thinking, Beth?

Look, I didn't invent this.
I'm just telling it to you.

How old were you?

12...

..when I got pregnant.

And 13 when I had him...if it is.

What happened?

SOBS: I can't.

I don't... I can't.

- I can't...
- Did someone hurt you?

SHE SNIFFLES

SHE PANTS

SHE SHUDDERS

"The boy that got away."

Is that him?

Tom?

Yeah.

Of all the gin joints
in all the towns in the world...

..I wonder what made me
walk into yours.

I don't know.

You don't just look like him.

You've got some of his mannerisms.

Like what?

Just the way you smile.

Your eyes.

The way your whole face lights up
when you smile.

That's him.

Oh. There...
There was something else.

What?

So...

..there was a letter on the piano.

And it wasn't sealed,
and I shouldn't have... I...

I don't know why I did,
I was probably just bored.

But I... I...

I read it.

- A letter to Tom.
- A letter written by you to Tom.

And I... I'm so glad you have moved
that rope on't landing.

I don't know where you've put it,
but you shouldn't...

You shouldn't think about
doing something like that, Beth,

because you are too good for that.

I shouldn't have read the letter.
I'm sorry. I am sorry.

I honestly don't know why I did.

Are you all right?

Yes, I... I think so...

I think so, yes.

Are we all right?

Yes.

Are we?

SHE SIGHS

You weren't really going to...

..hurt yourself, were you?

I was standing there...

..ready to go.

And Jess phoned and said,
"Do you want to be in a rock band?"

So...

Maybe you should go
and see a doctor too?

Oh!

Oh, Kitty.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

- Wow!
- Yeah.

Woo!

THEY LAUGH

- I'm just going to nip
to the bathroom.
- Sure.

SHE PANTS

So...

Do you want to...

..lick my arse?

- Do I, what?
- Lick my arse.

I'm really sorry, but it's...

- GROANS:
- It's not my thing.

- Isn't it?
- Yeah.
Sorry. I-I'm sorry.

I-I... Er, I thought we were doing,

you know, straight, straight,
straight, straight...

- Wait, have I embarrassed you?
No!
- No.

I have, haven't I? Oh, no,
now I'm embarrassed as well.

Oh, don't be! Honestly, it's fine.
I'll, I'll...

- ..see myself out.
- Right.

You, you...
You've got a very nice...

..bottom, but...
But it's just not my thing.

So...thank you for the...

Bye. Sor...
Thanks. Sorry.

See you around - no, probably not.

But...

HE SCOFFS

Could I just ask why you thought
I...would be...into...?

W-Was it something I exuded, or...?

Er... No, I just thought...
It was... It was one of your texts.

You just kind of implied that,
you know, you...

You were into that, so...

- No.
- No? OK.

Well, that is, er,
very good to know. So...

- B-bye.
- Bye.

Oh, my God.

Fucking hell!
Who puts gravel on a fucking hill?

You can lick my gravelly arse!

MUSIC: Nothing Matters
by The Last Dinner Party

# I have my sentence now
At last, I know just how you felt

# I dig my fingers in,
expecting more than just the skin

# Cos we're a lot alike
In favour, like a motorbike

# A sailor and a nightingale
Dancing in convertibles

# And you can hold me
like he held her

# And I will fuck you
like nothing matters

# And you can hold me... #

Do you want to get off
on your break, love,

- after you've served this fella?
- Yeah, can do. Thanks.

Evening.

- Can I, er...?
- Yeah.

Do you want to go and make yourself
a cup of tea, love?

Go on, go for it.

I think an apology
mightn't go amiss.

Me apologise? Well, if that's
what you think,

me and you have reached
the end of the road.

Hi, love. What you having,
sweetheart? The usual?

Good on yer.

Here we go.

Right... Pint for yer?

# A sailor and a nightingale... #

WHISTLING

# Dancing in convertibles

# And you can hold me
like he held her

# And I will fuck you
like nothing matters

# And you can hold me
like he held her... #

- VOICEMAIL:
- Hey! This is Tom.
Please leave a message.

# Like nothing matters

# Even when the cold comes
crashing through

# I'm putting all my bets on you

# I hope they never
understand us... #

What I'm thinking is,
you don't have to tell him now.

We... You could tell him after,
later, after he's gone, after today.

- Or...
- I can't believe
he didn't phone me back.

Well, except I can,
because he never does -

because if it's me,
it's not important by definition.

Did you hear what I said, though?

Why don't we play it by ear?

CAR DOOR CLOSES

- Shit!
- Oh, fuck!

- I'll just slip out the other door.
- Don't.

- I'm frightened!
- Don't be.

- Hello!
- Hello!

Hello! Aww! How are you?!

- I haven't seen you for ages!
- No, well...

- You smell nice. What is that?
- Oh, it's...

- So sorry we're late.
- Yeah, we
couldn't get out the door.
- Oh, Tom!

Yeah, my mum rang,
then his dad rang,

then next door came round about
the fence - again!

Oh, and we have to be back by 4.30.

My friend's coming round to measure
me up. She's getting married.

"Don't do it!"

SHE LAUGHS

Maid of honour. Nightmare.

What was Dad ringing you about?

Er, we might be going on holiday
with him

and this new woman
he's started seeing.

- What is she called?
- Bonnie.
- Bonnie, yeah.

Where's she come from?
What does she do?

Where's he found her?

- Er... Don't know, I didn't ask.
- Er...Bumble?

But, yeah, he's asked her
on this holiday that we only agreed

to go on cos we thought
he was going to be lonely!

- So...
- Bonnie?

Isn't that like a dog's name?

This is Kitty.

I've invited her to stay
and have lunch with us.

- Hi!
- Hi.

Hello.

How do you two know each other?

Did you not get my message?

- No.
- I left a voice message.

- Did you?
- Several, and two texts...

- Oh!
- ..asking you to phone me back,
saying it was important.

Oh, sorry.

Are you seriously telling me
you don't look at your texts

and your messages?

- He's useless.
- But you answer
the phone when your dad rings?

Well, we were in when he rang.

- We weren't in last night.
- Oh.

We were...out.

Hmm!

You can tell me now
if it's so important.

Yeah. I'm going to.

- Do you want to sit down?
- Sure.

Right, so, help yourselves.

SHE CLEARS THROAT

So, Kitty is...

Oh... Sorry!

I spoke to Uncle Nick last week.

He wanted me to talk to you
about Granny's care home.

I'm not going to talk to you
about Granny's care home!

- Yeah, but he just wanted me to...
- Yeah, I know what he wants.

He's trying to get you on side
to keep pushing it.

Well, he's gone even further down
in my estimation than before,

if such a thing was possible.

So, no.

I have been through this with him,
several times,

and we really don't need
to talk about it.

You're paying for things
that she doesn't need.

- I'm not.
- Apparently, there's a bar
and a library and a swimming pool

and a bowling green,
so to me, they are...

It's a retirement village,

catering for people of all different
stages in their declining years.

Now, she doesn't need a bar
and a library and a swimming pool

and a bowling green, but she does
need 24-hour dementia care!

The point is, she could get
the same level of specific care

- that she needs elsewhere...
- Yeah, like most things,

you pay for what you get!
And this is her money,

money that she's been
so careful with all her life.

So I'm not going to dump her
in the cheapest place

I can possibly find, so that he can
line his pockets when she dies!

End of!

OK.

That isn't what I'm saying. But...

I'm not cross with you,
but I'm going to phone him later

and tell him what a rancid
pile of shit he is!

Fair enough.

So, are you going to tell us what
this "important thing" is, then?

Yes, I am.

So, erm...

Kitty, Kitty and I, we...

We've got some news for you.

And it's come as much of a surprise
to us as to anyone.

Erm, and it's important you know
that we've talked about it -

a lot - and that we're both actually
very...comfortable with it,

and with each other, weirdly.
In fact...

And it's important, Tom,
that you understand

that we met by a complete fluke,
honestly...

Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth!

We've always thought
you were a bit gay.

Well, that's very sweet, Fearne.

But I'm not gay.

- Kitty...
- I'm your birth mother.

# And the sky was all violet

# I wanna get more violent,
more violent

# And I'm the one with no soul

# One above and one below

# Might last a day, yeah

# Mine is forever... #