subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for How.I.Met.Your.Mother.S09E22.The.End.of.the.Aisle.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-CtrlHD

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American) Download

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:04,295 TED: Kids, it's not always rational, but people on their wedding day... 2 00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:08,371 ... sometimes find themselves panicking about whether they made the best choice. Ripped By mstoll 00:00:12,236 I have a better tie at home. It's cornflower blue. It's cornflower blue! 4 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:15,277 TED: But lucky for Barney, he was marrying a rock. 5 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,676 I can't go through with this wedding. 6 00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:25,621 Last year, when you helped Victoria escape, how hard was it to climb that drainpipe? 7 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,293 - Extremely hard. - So that means super easy. Thanks. 8 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,621 Wait, wait. Stop. What the hell are you doing? 9 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,456 I can't go through with this. 10 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,658 No, no, sorry. I refuse to be a part of a third runaway-bride situation. 11 00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:40,395 It's like the dude who kept having women show up dead at his staircase. 12 00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:43,665 Maybe they tripped, but do you wanna hang out with that guy? 13 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,901 You're gonna think I'm insane... 14 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:49,671 ...but I still think that it's a bad sign I never found that locket. 15 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:54,678 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 16 00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,925 Some part of me thought that Barney would magically find it. 17 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,589 I know. I know that's unfair of me to expect that, but... 18 00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:09,164 You know, I wanna be with a guy who comes through for me. You know? 19 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:13,497 The guy who somehow, against all odds... 20 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,034 ...finds my locket. 21 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:19,109 Okay, just, um... Just calm down. Stay put. 22 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:22,679 Uh, I'm gonna go get you some water, okay? 23 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,140 Uh, listen, I have something for you. 24 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:58,213 Before I give it to you, I just wanna make sure you're okay. 25 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:02,410 I was freaking out a little earlier, but Lily and Marshall calmed me down. I'm okay. 26 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:05,988 - Good. Good. So Robin's a little nervous. - Nervous? Why's she nervous? 27 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,989 I'm not nervous. Who's nervous? No one needs to be nervous. 28 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,787 Cornflower blue, Ted. Cornflower blue! 29 00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,898 First off, kudos to Marshall and Lily for calming you down. 30 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,473 Second, do you remember Robin's locket? 31 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,140 Yeah, of course. 32 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:23,966 She never found it. 33 00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:28,010 Whoa. 34 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,806 - How did you...? - I never told you... 35 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,951 ...because I was afraid you'd take it the wrong way. I wound up tracking it down. 36 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,586 It's a long story. 37 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,223 I was gonna give it to Robin as a surprise... 38 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,325 ...but she needs it to come from you. 39 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,425 - Ted, I don't know. - Take it. Please. 40 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:47,427 How'd you find it? 41 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,397 I didn't find it. You found it. 42 00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,535 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 43 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,176 - Hey. What you writing? - Hey. 44 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,208 Um, it's my wedding day. What do you think I'm writing? 45 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,682 - A suicide note? - Hey-o. 46 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,858 - Oh, God. Is it a suicide note? - Oh, God. How many pills did you take? 47 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,824 - Quick, how do we make him vomit? - Uh, remind him he's getting married? 48 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,557 Hey-o. Ha, ha. Wait, now I'm confused. Are you dying? 49 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,698 I'm writing my vows to Robin. 50 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,494 But I want them to be profound and inspiring. 51 00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:29,697 As if they were written by the bard himself, Lionel Richie. 52 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,444 Then why did you wait until right before the wedding? 53 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,738 I've been trying to get these right for weeks. 54 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:37,005 This is a lot of vows. 55 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,206 Vow-za. 56 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,816 I'll say it again. Vow-za. 57 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,578 Are you gonna read all these? 58 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:47,224 Yeah, wouldn't it be better to project them as a Vower-Point presentation? 59 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:48,653 I'll say it again. Vower... 60 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,387 I know it's a lot, but I don't wanna screw up this wedding thing. 61 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,192 "I vow to love you forever, unconditionally... 62 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:59,769 ...unless you pudge out, in which case I'm a Barney-shaped hole in the wall." 63 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,701 Okay. "I vow to start watching hockey with you." 64 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,240 Oh. That one's sweet. I know how much you hate hockey. 65 00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:06,603 "Once a month." 66 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,972 - It's still a nice gesture. - "No, once a year. 67 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,241 Nope, hockey's dumb, not watching it. And neither are you, woman. 68 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:15,419 Now make me French toast." I'll put this in the "maybe" pile? 69 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:17,680 Look, if you're having trouble... 70 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,519 ...you've got two expert vow consultants standing right in front of you. 71 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,251 We can show you vow it's done. 72 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,067 - I'll say it again. Vow... - We're just not enjoying them, honey. 73 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:33,102 I am not gonna take marriage advice from a couple who just got in a gigantic fight. 74 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,533 I'm doing fine on my own. 75 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,207 No, you're not. 76 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:40,105 All of these vows are selfish and way too easy to keep. 77 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:43,873 Wedding vows need to be real commitments. Like our vows. 78 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,278 - Poppycock. - What are you talking about? 79 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,417 I remember your precious wedding vows... 80 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,886 ...and I guarantee you've broken every single one of them. 81 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,956 - Vow dare you? - Just stop. 82 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,684 I can't. It's in-vow-luntary. 83 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:57,885 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 84 00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,428 Yeah? 85 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,323 Hey. You asked for me? 86 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,034 Look what Barney just gave me. 87 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:05,933 No way. 88 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:09,573 See? Barney came through. There's your sign. 89 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,744 - You're good to go. - Where'd you find the locket, Ted? 90 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,820 - Where did you find the locket? - Me? Why you asking me? 91 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,853 Barney found it. Ask him. 92 00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:27,456 What, you lost a locket? 93 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:32,495 Barney wouldn't tell me how he found it, which made me realize it had to be you. 94 00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:36,933 Heh, okay, I'll embarrass him. 95 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,762 Your fianc� got a metal detector... 96 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,940 ...and scoured a 10,000-square-foot grid around that carousel. 97 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,335 Guess where he found it. 98 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:46,373 The nest of a mama pigeon. 99 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,206 Barney had to wrestle it away from four baby pigeons. 100 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:50,949 But the story gets bittersweet... 101 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,153 I lied. Barney said it was in Marshall and Lily's basement. 102 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:57,584 But do you still want to finish your little pigeon story? 103 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,019 The mama pigeon gets killed by a cab. 104 00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:03,524 Barney still goes to the park every day to feed the babies. The end. 105 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:06,522 Tell me the truth. 106 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,470 Okay. I tracked it down, and I gave it to Barney to give to you. 107 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,296 Honestly, it was no big deal. 108 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,166 - How did you find it? - Pshh. 109 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,898 How does anybody find anything? 110 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,303 It might be in your pencil box. It's not. 111 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,810 You swing by your ex's storage locker on the opposite coast. It's not there. 112 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,346 You learn Victoria has it. 113 00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:27,144 Jeanette intercepts it, throws it in Central Park Lake. 114 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,548 You dive in, make it home in time forJeopardy! 115 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,349 Ease to the pease. Happy wedding. 116 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,821 You're seriously questioning our wedding vows? 117 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,122 Us? 118 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:43,063 - Uh, we're adorable. - We're Marshmallow and Lilypad, bitch. 119 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:44,826 Okay. I'll give you this. 120 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,040 Your little prewedding wedding, out by the tree? 121 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:52,142 You said some very sweet stuff. Hell, Ted even cried. 122 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,007 Heh. Ted. 123 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,273 But later, at the actual wedding... 124 00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:01,680 Lily Aldrin, I vow to be there for you in sickness and in health. 125 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,388 Hate to tell you, Lilypad... 126 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,889 ...but Marshall has since confessed to me that en route to your honeymoon... 127 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,062 [LILY RETCHING] 128 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,189 [MARSHALL SNORES] 129 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,663 LILY & MARSHALL: You son of a bitch. 130 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,164 Do you deny it? 131 00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,569 You know I'm not a vomit guy. 132 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,435 I thought I should give you your space, like a dying cat. 133 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:26,075 - Yeah, that saves it. - I'm so sorry I let you down. 134 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,177 Hang on there, Marshmallow. 135 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,575 Remember when the blushing bride said: 136 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,217 I vow to honor and respect you. 137 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,081 Maybe she was blushing because she was lying her ass off. 138 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,914 Not two months later... 139 00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:39,624 Okay, okay. 140 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,486 Here we go. 141 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:43,962 Hey. Not cool. 142 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,427 You will not take a picture of my husband like that. 143 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,968 [BARNEY & TED LAUGH] 144 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,463 You took part in the Bearded Wonder Woman Incident of 2007? 145 00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,938 Lily, that photo got all over Friendster and MySpace and... 146 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,703 Man, 2007 was a long time ago. 147 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:06,013 I can't believe how much trouble you went through to get this for me. 148 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,947 - It really wasn't that much trouble. - Yes, it was. 149 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,819 You always go big for me. 150 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,655 Not as big as Barney. Canadian rehearsal dinner on ice, big. 151 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:18,420 - The way he proposed, huge. - Yeah, but think about it. 152 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,258 Those are the most loving things Barney's done for me... 153 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,128 ...and they're all based on lies. 154 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:27,935 - Right down to taking credit for this locket. - That's not fair. I told Barney to. 155 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:32,110 Which he did without blinking an eye. Because lying is second nature to Barney. 156 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,369 Everything's legendary. 157 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:36,274 You know what "legendary" means? Not real. 158 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,541 I mean, the man's initials are "B.S." 159 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:42,446 Well, if it helps, I'm pretty sure "Barney Stinson" is a fake name. 160 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,053 I'm kidding. 161 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:48,158 You're the one who always comes through for me, Ted. 162 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,289 The one who's there for me. 163 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,765 Maybe I'm making a mistake. 164 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,500 Wait, what are you saying? 165 00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,396 Maybe I should be marrying you. 166 00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:04,400 Wait. I know one vow we kept. 167 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,976 I vow to make you breakfast in bed every Sunday morning. 168 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,579 Really? You still do that? 169 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,908 Absolutely. 170 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,683 [MARVIN CRYING] 171 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,411 MARSHALL: Heads up! 172 00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:20,687 Oh, no cream cheese? 173 00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:29,697 Aw, you feed her like Sloth from Goonies. So the magic's still there. 174 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:33,064 Well, here's one you definitely didn't keep. 175 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,035 I vow to keep the romantic spark alive. 176 00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,244 And how is that going for you these days? 177 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,003 MARSHALL: Are you watching Marvin? I'm trimming my nose hair. 178 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,510 LILY: I'm dumping out. 179 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,309 MARSHALL: I watched him all morning, Lily. I need a break. 180 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:50,886 LILY: I don't control when my deuces happen, Marshall. Deuces are wild. 181 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,955 [BARNEY SNICKERING] 182 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,717 Ted... 183 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,189 ...I should be with you. 184 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,589 TED: There it was. 185 00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,230 The words that some deep, dark part of me always wanted to hear. 186 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:04,959 But it's funny, once you actually hear those words out loud... 187 00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,637 - I don't wanna hear that. - We should get out of here. 188 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:11,536 You and me, right now. We'll move to Chicago. We'll start a new life. 189 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,245 It'll be painful, but I can root for the Blackhawks. 190 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,608 Stop. Stop. You're just saying this because you're scared. 191 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,249 I am not your future. Barney is. 192 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:23,080 Shouldn't I be with the guy who finds me my locket? 193 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,654 The guy who steals me the blue French horn? 194 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,553 I mean, look me in the eye and tell me, why shouldn't I be with that guy? 195 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,599 Because I'm not that guy anymore. 196 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,166 Then why did you work so hard to find me my locket? 197 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,869 It was a wedding gift. 198 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,300 Ted, stop it, okay? I know you better than that. 199 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,805 - This is more than a wedding gift. - Maybe it started out that way. 200 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:48,673 - Maybe some part of me thought... - That you still loved me. 201 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,176 Maybe. 202 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,680 But the truth is, I don't love you like that anymore. 203 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,286 And you don't love me. You love Barney. 204 00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:01,953 And if you think I would ever be part of screwing that up... 205 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,656 ...then maybe you don't know me at all, Robin. 206 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:06,954 [SIGHS] 207 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,155 I can't shake it. 208 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:13,133 I can't shake this feeling that nothing about me and Barney makes any sense. 209 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,397 But love doesn't make sense. 210 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:18,432 You can't logic your way into or out of it. 211 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,307 Love is totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it... 212 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:28,111 ...or else we're lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. 213 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,447 Because love is the best thing we do. 214 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,792 Look, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's just true. 215 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:39,191 You love Barney. And he loves you. 216 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:41,796 And that doesn't have to make sense... 217 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,433 ...to make sense. 218 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:49,803 Remember back when you'd never even seen me pee? 219 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,010 MARSHALL & BARNEY: Yeah. 220 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,575 Oh, sorry. 221 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,508 - We were so innocent then. - So many dreams. 222 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,980 - Trying to work over here. - A bright, shimmering future ahead. 223 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,985 Now we're basically a couple of wild animals grunting at each other... 224 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,659 ...to throw some toilet paper through the crack in the bathroom door. 225 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:13,028 Baby, let's be honest. At this point, that door is wide-open. 226 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:17,594 Know what you should use next time you run out of toilet paper? Your vows. 227 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,770 Because that's all your marriage has been. 228 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:23,668 One long six-year wipe after that double-flusher of a wedding. 229 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,002 Stinson out. 230 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,006 - You okay? - Yeah. 231 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,876 You're right. I'm being insane. 232 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,747 Oh, come on, Robin. That's accurate. 233 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,013 [CHUCKLES] 234 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:40,488 - We can't run away together. - Heh. Of course not. 235 00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:43,126 So I'm just gonna run away alone. 236 00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,064 Oh, whoa! 237 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,072 TED: And that's how Robin met your mother. 238 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,247 Wait, what are we doing here? 239 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:11,116 Lily, our wedding vows, maybe they were just too perfect for real life. 240 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,289 Real life is messier than that. 241 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,825 And we're different people than we were in 2007, but that's okay. 242 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,925 Maybe we just need some updated vows. 243 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,601 So I thought maybe before this place gets too busy... 244 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:26,566 ...we could borrow this altar for a minute. 245 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,474 Lily Aldrin... 246 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:35,841 ...I vow to stop shouting stuff at you when you're dumping out. 247 00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,914 You're the love of my life, and you deserve to make a deuce in peace. 248 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,315 I vow to stop pointing out every dog erection when we walk through the park. 249 00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,821 Even though they are incredibly weird-Iooking. 250 00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,425 Just don't point and scream, "Maybe it's Maybelline." 251 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:56,932 Marshall Eriksen, I vow to always tell you when you have green stuff in your teeth. 252 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,796 You have green stuff in your teeth. 253 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,096 Oh. 254 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:05,767 I vow to always sit next to you and hug you even if you're covered in vomit. 255 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,343 Whether it's yours or Marvin's... 256 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:13,779 ...or in the case of what came to be known as Spew Year's Eve 1998, my own. Sorry. 257 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,577 I vow to stop getting so angry... 258 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,221 - I thought of another one. ...when you interrupt me. 259 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:21,288 Mine was to interrupt you less, so that's good. 260 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:27,728 I vow to finally stop petitioning Paul McCartney... 261 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:33,734 ...to let Weird Al record "Chicken Pot Pie" to the tune of "Live and Let Die." 262 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,236 It's over. I'll let it go. 263 00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:42,511 I vow to cry less during this pregnancy. 264 00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:45,114 I vow to cry less during this Vikings season. 265 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:47,808 Hmm, with that secondary, I wouldn't make that promise. 266 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,246 I vow to keep at least 80 percent of these vows. 267 00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:52,888 That seems high. 268 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,257 Then I vow to keep updating them as we go. 269 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:59,496 Because one set of vows... 270 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:04,066 ...it can't cover a lifetime of growing and changing with you... 271 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,199 ...of raising children with you... 272 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,643 ...of falling more and more in love with you every day, Lily Aldrin. 273 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:16,837 Which is what I vow to do for the rest of my life. 274 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,950 Crap, I already broke my crying vow. 275 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,585 I'll forgive you. 276 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:36,360 I am so sorry. Are you okay? That was totally my fault. 277 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,435 No, the bride is always right. It was my fault. Are you okay? 278 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,263 I'm fine. 279 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,666 Are you sure? 280 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,543 Because you were sprinting from a church in a wedding dress. 281 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:51,981 And as a kid, I was a bit of a detective, heh, so... 282 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,079 Um... 283 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,185 To be honest, I'm wondering if this whole getting-married thing... 284 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,619 ...is something I can go through with. 285 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,420 Oh. 286 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,225 Wow. 287 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:10,233 That's it? Aren't you supposed to talk me out of it? 288 00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,101 Tell me it's just cold feet? I'm being crazy? 289 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:16,467 Okay. During that fall, we did get to second base with each other... 290 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:20,075 ...and we'll always share that, but I don't really know you. 291 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,906 So here's all I'll say. 292 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,206 When I'm overwhelmed... 293 00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:28,216 ...I force myself to do one simple thing before I have to make a decision. 294 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:32,720 Close my eyes and take three deep breaths. 295 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,119 - Three deep breaths? - Mm-hm. 296 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:38,660 Sometimes even three deep breaths can change everything. 297 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:02,844 Barney? 298 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,017 - Hey, I've been looking for you. You okay? - Uh... 299 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:11,663 Yeah. I was just talking to the band about the thing with the stuff. 300 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,125 What are those? 301 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,333 My vows. 302 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:20,334 I know it's bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony, but I realized something. 303 00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:23,336 Marshall and Lily have broken most of their wedding vows... 304 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,702 ...but they're still the best couple I know. 305 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:29,812 I think their biggest problem was that Marshall didn't tell Lily the truth. 306 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,573 So... 307 00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,913 I've decided to make only one vow to you... 308 00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:41,091 ...because it's the only one that really counts. 309 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,192 Robin Scherbatsky... 310 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,421 ...from this day forward... 311 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,866 ...I am always gonna be honest with you. 312 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,702 Because I love you. 313 00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:54,534 I'll see you up there. 314 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,265 Oh. 315 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,412 Ted got that locket for you. 316 00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,113 He's the one you should thank. 317 00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:06,917 Barney, wait. 318 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,563 [PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D" PLAYING] 319 00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:27,766 What is it? 320 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:31,635 The cornflower-blue tie. That's the one I should be wearing. 321 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:35,778 It's by my bed back in Manhattan. Stall for me. I'll be back in six hours, tops. 322 00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,573 [BARNEY GRUNTS] 323 00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:42,150 - That's all of them. - Wow. 324 00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,786 Wait. 325 00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:46,582 I'm free. It's over. 326 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,885 The Slap Bet is finally over? 327 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,790 Yeah, it is, buddy. 328 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,156 Thank you. 329 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,104 This may sound crazy, but I'm gonna miss that Slap Bet. 330 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,467 - No, you won't. - No, you're right, I won't. 331 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,337 ["SANDCASTLES IN THE SAND" PLAYING ON PIANO] 332 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,659 - Hi. - Hi. 333 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:33,098 - You've never looked more beautiful, Robin. - Nobody asked you, Patrice. 334 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,338 By the way, in the interest of honesty... 335 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,839 ...we really do have a ring-bear. - What? 336 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,544 Oh. I love the ring-bear. 337 00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:49,480 Then you are gonna love the flower gorilla. 338 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:52,417 - What? - Kidding. I'm kidding, heh. 339 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,818 [MOUTHS] No gorilla. 340 00:19:57,429 --> 00:20:01,195 If I ever were to lose you 341 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,666 TED: Kids, I won't lie, that was a long weekend. 342 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,633 More ups and downs than I can count. 343 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:10,830 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 344 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,843 I'm not found by myself 345 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,309 TED: It was a twisting, turning road that led to the end of the aisle... 346 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,850 ... and not everything along the way was perfect. 347 00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:27,081 To be honest, not everything to follow would be perfect either. 348 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:28,724 But what is? 349 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:34,357 Here's the secret, kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. 350 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:40,095 In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. 351 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:43,206 'Cause I can see 352 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,035 Our future days 353 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,712 TED: Because love's the best thing we do. 354 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,906 Days of you and me 355 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,684 You and me 356 00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,877 TED: And on that lovely spring evening... 357 00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:01,183 ... that's exactly what Barney and Robin vowed to each other. 358 00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:04,418 And it was legendary. 29648