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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,360 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,640 COUGHING 3 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,920 COUGHING 4 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:44,560 SHE COUGHS 5 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,960 FIRE ALARM BLARES 6 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,040 - Bloody hell. 7 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,120 Evie? - Sorry, Mum! It's off. 8 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,520 I'm good, I'm fine. 9 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,480 - So could she use that against him in court? 10 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,920 - Yeah, it's a bit of a Kramer vs. Kramer situation, actually. 11 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,920 - I'm not familiar with that case. 12 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,000 - PHONE BUZZES 13 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,240 - Oh. Erm... 14 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,160 Yeah, I am going to have to get this. 15 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,480 Sorry. Hello. 16 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,760 - AMERICAN ACCENT: You are my lucky star. 17 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:43,760 My lucky, lucky, lucky... 18 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,240 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 19 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,880 - Er, how can I help? 20 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,000 - What I want, Mr Ameen, is justice for my family. 21 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,160 You do serve justice, don't you? 22 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,840 - Um, sorry. Two minutes, Carla. - Yeah. 23 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,920 - Evie, I can't really talk right now. 24 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,320 - So, yes, just the one large order of justice, then, please. 25 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,040 - One large order of justice coming right up. 26 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,360 How did the tests go? 27 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,200 - That smoke machine is a hazard. 28 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,040 - Yeah, I got it second-hand. 29 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,320 Listen, can you make sure to air out the garage? 30 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,640 My glands are still swollen 31 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,520 and there's definitely a wheeze in my chest. 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,880 - You're not going to die. - What if I am? 33 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,920 - SHE SINGS: You're not! - What if I am? 34 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,280 - OK, so I realised... 35 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,480 You know we watched Alien twice in halls? 36 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,800 - "Don't touch it! Don't touch it!" 37 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,800 Well, Cam talked the whole time we watched it, and you were 38 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,320 spiralling because there wasn't enough tinfoil to cover the flat. 39 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:32,600 Consider this a redo. 40 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,160 - So this is three times? Can we watch something three times? 41 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,360 - Certainty is underrated. 42 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,600 Sometimes it's nice to know what's going to happen. 43 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,280 And anyway we watched Groundhog Day three times, so... 44 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,360 - Is that true or are you being a bit clever? 45 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,600 - Carla bought me a red pepper and halloumi focaccia today. 46 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:54,320 - Hello, can I tuck into a red pepper and halloumi focaccia, please? 47 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,280 - And she keeps asking me for pens. 48 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,920 - I told you! 49 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,800 - I don't know if you're right about this one, Eves. 50 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,600 I mean, we work together all day, every day, 51 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,400 the only thing she asks me about is the law. 52 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,680 And pens. - I'm definitely right. 53 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,240 - You thought Katie was my twin flame 54 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,720 and then she dumps me the day my grandma dies. That was fun. 55 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,240 Or maybe... Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just numb 56 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,920 to all romantic endeavours. 57 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:23,760 Oh, look at that. She's smiling at me! - Aw! 58 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,960 It's sweet. - It's... Yeah. 59 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,120 - It's "yeah"? 60 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,200 - Do you have a tampon? - Jesus, Iz, can you knock? 61 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,760 Bye, Noa! - "Don't touch it!" 62 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,640 - Tampon. Desperate. - Yeah. 63 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,000 - Jesus Christ, it's massive. 64 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,280 - It's a normal tampon. 65 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,760 - That won't go in. 66 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,200 - It's a normal tampon. 67 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,520 - All right, giant flaps. 68 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,320 - OK. Fine, Izzie. 69 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,520 I've got massive, wizened 28-year-old flaps. 70 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,280 - Girls, Jesus Christ! There's a man in the house. 71 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,120 They're your privates, not your publics, all right? 72 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,240 - PEOPLE CHATTER OUTSIDE 73 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,560 PEOPLE CHATTER 74 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,640 MUSIC PLAYS 75 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,280 - Hey, my little mucker! - Woo! 76 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,480 - Come here. 77 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,840 - Uh? - You're so sexy. - No. Stop it, you two! 78 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:33,640 - This tampon's giving me a migraine. 79 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,760 - Oh, it's Friday disco, baby. 80 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,960 You've got to get into the groove with it. 81 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,160 - Oh, that's an innate sense of rhythm, that. That's innate. 82 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,640 - Get it from my mama. 83 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,200 - Oh, babes. Oh, you're full of beans today! - Mm-hm. 84 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,440 Can I take this tenner? 85 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,480 - Have what you want, baby. 86 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,920 Uh, what's it for? - Just going to the shop. 87 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,600 - Come on, Isobel. 88 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,400 She might do it this time. 89 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,680 - SHARP WHISTLE 90 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,480 Oi! 91 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,280 - Yes, Miss Havisham. What do you want this time? 92 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,040 - I need tinfoil. - Oh, right, you are, Miss Havisham. 93 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,600 - Yep. 94 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,640 - Come on. 95 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,720 - No. You still owe me my change from last week. 96 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,240 - Well, I told you it was interest. 97 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,280 Come on. 98 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,840 Whay! You've got gullible written on yer fod, love! 99 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,680 Come on, Zig. 100 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:56,840 - Sorry. 101 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,000 - Fucking hell. 102 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,520 - Go! 103 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,160 - I've just heard about the Bristol job, Noa. 104 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,040 Congratulations! - Thank you. 105 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,840 Yeah. Really good. 106 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,400 Really great news. 107 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,200 - How come you didn't mention anything earlier? 108 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:35,240 - Er, I guess I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed, a bit... 109 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,720 A bit anxious. 110 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,400 Telling people, you know. 111 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,920 - Oh. - Yeah. - Who? They'll be dead happy for you. 112 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,920 - Ah, my friend later. - Well, bring him to the pub! 113 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,720 - Um, she can't. 114 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,760 We can't. It's... It's our thing. 115 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,120 - Oh. 116 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,040 Go on, then, what is that? It can't actually just be a film club? 117 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,160 You know, we've all got our theories 118 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,640 and I want mine to be right. 119 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,720 - Oh, no, it is actually just a film club. 120 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,680 Yeah, when you say it out loud, it sounds less fun 121 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,880 than it actually is. It's really fun. It's really fun. 122 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:12,880 - That is fun. You and your friend, watching films and having fun. 123 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,000 Alone? - Sometimes others join. 124 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,480 But not so much any more. 125 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,920 - Kinky, Noa. 126 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,680 - She has got a boyfriend. 127 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,000 If that's what you're...insinuating. 128 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,160 No, it's a ritual, like we haven't missed one in eight years. So... 129 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,200 - Maybe Simon was right. - What does Simon think? 130 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,560 - Nothing, no. Carry on, so there's, erm, rituals? 131 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,560 - We... Yeah. We dress up as the characters. 132 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,040 We play games. We... 133 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,160 ..do quizzes. - You dress up as the characters? 134 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,240 Oh! 135 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:47,960 Oh, that is actually it, isn't it? - Yeah. 136 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,200 - That's the thing that you're desperate to get to on a Friday. 137 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,320 - Not desperate, Carla. 138 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,760 We just really love films. 139 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,040 - Babe? - Mm. 140 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,360 - You know that fella at Number 68? 141 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,440 He's ordered discrete packaging again. 142 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,280 I just have to know what's inside. 143 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,400 - Baby, whatever's in your imagination is 144 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,440 so much more interesting than the reality, 145 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,880 I promise you. 146 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,080 - God, you're so wise. 147 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,760 I love you. 148 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,800 Oh, I was thinking I might just hang about tonight 149 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,080 and help Suz around the house while you do your thing. 150 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,200 - Of course, baby. 151 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,680 - Cos then I can stay over tonight and we can smooch. 152 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,040 - Absolutely. - Cos I tell you, 153 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,440 this mechanic thing you've got going on is... 154 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,240 - It's Ripley, baby. - Mm. 155 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,760 - Oh, here he is. 156 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,280 The man of the hour. 157 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,160 The unknowable prince. 158 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,400 Never acknowledges the snacks, 159 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,480 not so much as a, "Thank you for having me." 160 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,240 You see what happens every Friday, hmm? 161 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,440 She gets like this. And we want her like this. 162 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,440 But he winds her up. 163 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,080 She's up and down like a bride's nightie. 164 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,480 What the hell do they get up to in there? 165 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:16,080 It feels culty, don't you think, babe? 166 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,000 - Stop watching that documentary. 167 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,840 - What the hell do they get up to, Isobel? 168 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,280 - They're not in a cult, Mum, they're just losers. 169 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,720 - Never fucking comes in to say hello. 170 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,880 - Phew. - Phew. 171 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,520 Wow. 172 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,320 - You missed a spot. - Yeah. I'm fully aware. 173 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,800 - This, however, is excellente. J'adore. 174 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,720 - AMERICAN ACCENT: We'll move in pairs, 175 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,080 and we'll cut off every bulk and every vent 176 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,440 until we have this thing cornered 177 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,160 and then we'll blow it the fuck out into space. 178 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,160 Does that sound acceptable to you? 179 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,040 - Hmm. 180 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,880 The accent wasn't perfect. 181 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,520 - Fucking hell. You do demand excellence, don't you? 182 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,960 You try saying "cornered". It's hard. 183 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,400 AMERICAN ACCENT: - Cornered. 184 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,640 - Ugh. - Just saying. It's not quite your Buffalo Bill, is it? 185 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,120 - IMITATES BUFFALO BILL: It puts the lotion in the basket. 186 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,680 - That's the ticket. Right. 187 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,600 Salty. - Mm-hm. 188 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,040 - Sweet. - Mm-hm. 189 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,720 - Sweet and salty. - Mm-hm. 190 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,400 - Hmm, toffee. - Urgh. 191 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,280 - Just a hunch. 192 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,880 - Did you go past the picture house? - Yeah. 193 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,160 - And? - You're right, they started with Carrie. 194 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,760 - Why doesn't he read my emails? 195 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,440 You don't start a Sissy Spacek season with Carrie. 196 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,880 BOTH: You end it with Carrie. 197 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,120 Yes. - The sixth time you've said that. 198 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,000 - Why are you keeping count? 199 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,640 I don't count all the times you ask me if you're dying. 200 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,680 - Hey! - Sorry. 201 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,760 OK, game time. 202 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,000 What was the original running time for the movie? 203 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,040 - 3 hours, 12 minutes. - Mm-hm. 204 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,400 The blue flashing lights, which band did they borrow those from? 205 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,560 - The Who. - Uh-huh. 206 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,520 And what material was used to make the tendons of the alien? 207 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,080 - Polyurethane? 208 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,960 - No. Shredded condoms. 209 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,000 - Huh... 210 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaking of which, Katie's pregnant. 211 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,600 - What?! - Yep, Tom's put a bun in the oven. 212 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,160 - You threw that in there late! 213 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,000 How do you feel? - I feel nothing about it. 214 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000 - Come on. - Nothing... 215 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,200 Eves, we broke up three years ago. 216 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,280 - She's a year younger than me. 217 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,960 - Yep. 218 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,160 - Hmm. 219 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,200 So they're having it out of wedlock? - Out of wedlock? 220 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,400 What, are you from the 1800s? 221 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,600 - Would I do the speech at your wedding, 222 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,520 to Carla, Queen of Stationary? 223 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,960 - I'm not getting married to Carla, Queen of Stationary. 224 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,320 - Why not? You should consider her. 225 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,640 It's what you love! She tongs her hair at 6am, 226 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,800 carries around a clipboard, has five pens on her desk. 227 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,520 - OK, she does not carry around a clipboard. 228 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,880 - Budgets. Doesn't like you too much. - Crucial. 229 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,440 - Yeah, none of that pesky love and care. 230 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,120 - No, no, nice hair, only free on Sundays. - Mm-hm. 231 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,200 No higher than number five on her to do-list. 232 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,840 - Ooh. Not like our Joshy. 233 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,760 - So would I do the speech? - You'd be best man. 234 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,080 - Best lady. - You're not a lady. 235 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,200 - What am I, then? 236 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,520 - Just... 237 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,040 Just feel that. 238 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,640 - Yeah. - It's glands. - You're fine. - Protuberant. - You're fine. 239 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,000 - Uh-huh? OK. 240 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,200 Eves, I have something to tell you. 241 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,400 - Go on, then. 242 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,600 - Can't. I'm getting all nervous now. 243 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,720 - What? Jesus, now I'm nervous. 244 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,680 - No, don't you be nervous. I'm the one saying it. 245 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:03,880 - Saying what? 246 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,640 Oh, wait! 247 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,120 Look, even if you'd killed someone, 248 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,280 I know you would have done it for good reason. 249 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,080 - Evie, I haven't killed anyone. 250 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,560 - You'll be Louise, I'll be Thelma. 251 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,160 AMERICAN ACCENT: - Let's keep going. 252 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,520 I'm moving. 253 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,240 - What? - I'm moving away. 254 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,080 - When? - Four weeks. 255 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,280 - Four weeks. 256 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,160 - Yeah. 257 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,680 Bristol. Got a job. 258 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,040 A new one. A good one. 259 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,440 - Family law? 260 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,680 Well done. 261 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,160 - Yeah, it's what I've always wanted. 262 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,800 - I know. - It's what I've been aiming for. - I know. 263 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,680 - I'd be remiss to turn it down. 264 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,720 - Remiss? 265 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,080 - Sorry, I get formal when I'm... - You're nervous, yeah. 266 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,360 I'm so happy for you. 267 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,480 - Yeah. 268 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,280 So I should take it, then? 269 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,480 - Of course you should. 270 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:50,760 You'd be remiss. 271 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,000 - Phew. 272 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,880 - SHE GASPS 273 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,400 - Kamran! 274 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,160 # We could've been anything that we wanted to be 275 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,200 - # Bum, bum, bum! # 276 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,640 - Oh, come here. 277 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,320 Oh, I'm glad you could make it this time. 278 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,680 How are you getting on with your big grown-up life? 279 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,400 - Yeah, good. Me and Matt bought... - Do you remember when you used to 280 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,640 come round here when you were little, make up them dance routines? 281 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,400 Only our Evie wasn't very good at it, but we won't tell her that. 282 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,280 - No. Sh. She could never get the rhythm in her body like me, 283 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,560 do you know what I mean? - Shirley Ballas level, you, even at ten. 284 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,480 Oh, I don't know why you didn't pursue that. 285 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,600 But I suppose running a charity is honourable. 286 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,960 - Yeah. Yeah. People need me. People need me. 287 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,920 - Hey. Why have you brought your own? 288 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,240 I remembered to do vegan this time. 289 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,320 - Oh, no, no, no. They're... They're nappies. 290 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,040 We've got Matt's nephew staying. 291 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,560 We're trying it out. - Oh! 292 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,320 I wish you were my uncle. 293 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,440 - Guncle. - Guncle! 294 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,240 I think I'd be a much happier person if you were my uncle. 295 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,880 - OK. 296 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,000 I'm going to... 297 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,080 - # Bum-bum-bum-bum! # 298 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,320 - What's this? - It's a fig. 299 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,560 - Why? - Cos Mum says it kind of looks like the alien when you open it up. 300 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,760 - Argh! 301 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,160 - Noa, how far is...? 302 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,960 - Oh! 303 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,520 This son of a bitch is huge! 304 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,800 It's like a man. It's big! 305 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,560 - Hello, mate. 306 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,360 - Oh, my God, Noa, your chest is harrowing. 307 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,120 - Yeah. Nice to see you, too. 308 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,000 - Deeply unsettling, actually. - Yeah. 309 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,520 Hey, where's your costume? 310 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,240 No, no, I'm sorry. You can't just wear a T-shirt 311 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,600 with the name of the film on it. 312 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,920 - All right, Captain Von Trapp. Come on. 313 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,200 I've got Matt's nephews staying and they're absolutely feral. 314 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,520 So I really don't have long. 315 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,320 - Well, why come if you need to rush off? 316 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,760 - Calm down, Empress. I'm here, aren't I? 317 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,520 - Yeah. 318 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,520 Er, he has a job. 319 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,080 - I know. - No, a new one. 320 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,640 In Bristol. 321 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,800 He's moving soon. 322 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,680 - Oh. 323 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:27,240 Oh, that's why you both have funeral face. 324 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,880 - No, it's actually a really great job. I'm happy. 325 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,440 - Yeah. Everyone's happy. Really happy. 326 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,040 - Yeah. Great. Good. 327 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,800 - Yeah. - Yeah. 328 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,400 So, what, is he goin' back daan saaf, yeah? 329 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,960 - Yeah, he is, actually, yeah. He's goin' back daan saaf! 330 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,640 - All right, mate, yeah. - Actually it's Southwest, but... 331 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,840 - I think you'll find looking at a compass it is, in actuality, 332 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,400 the Southwest of the country. 333 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,040 WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: - All right, me lover! 334 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,560 - All right, my lover. - I'm a lover, not a fighter. 335 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,240 - I'm a lawyer, not a fighter. - I'm a lawyer, not a lover. 336 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,200 - What? 337 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,120 - I don't know, that's weird. 338 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,280 I need the lavatory. 339 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,840 - Er, Evie, 340 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,880 help me pick some colours for the kitchen. 341 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,040 - Mm-hm. - Here's a plethora to choose from. 342 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,160 We're going for earthy. 343 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,680 - Earthy, yeah. - Mm-hm. 344 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,080 - Ah! He deigns to enter the house! 345 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,680 - Oh... 346 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,520 - I'm joking. 347 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,240 - You look nice, Suzanne. 348 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,840 - Oh. No, I think that's a bit... 349 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,040 - No, I just meant... - ..inappropriate. - ..nice. 350 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,480 - You know, you can call me Suz. Are you all right? 351 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,560 You look a bit... - Mm-hm. 352 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,640 - Are you hungry? Do you have low blood sugar? 353 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,960 - No, it was a weird day. I got offered a job. I, er... 354 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,880 I accepted a job. - Oh. Well, get you, Mister... 355 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,560 Mr Man. - In Bristol. 356 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,080 It's in Bristol, yeah. - Have you told Evie? 357 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,800 - Of course. - Right. 358 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,240 - Just got to use the facilities. - Uh-huh. 359 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,760 - WHISPERING: - Fuckin' hell. 360 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,520 - What? - Man of mystery. 361 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,560 He is fucking off. - Where? - He's got some snazzy job somewhere. 362 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,960 Of course he has. 363 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,880 He can't go now. Not when she's... 364 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,640 She needs this thing. 365 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,360 - What happened to bride's nightie? 366 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,120 I thought you said he wound her up. - Yes. 367 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,200 Well, I'd rather her up and down than just down, for God's sake. 368 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,680 Have you forgotten what happened on her birthday? 369 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,320 - What, when she... - Yes, Isobel. We don't have to go over it. 370 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,600 - Maybe change is good? Maybe everything happens for a reason? 371 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,760 - Yeah, keep talking. 372 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,760 - When life gives you lemons... 373 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,840 Live, laugh, love... 374 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,920 I don't know... All that shite you love. 375 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,840 - I think you're spot-on, babe. 376 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,880 I'm going to get me fancy glasses. 377 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,200 - Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. 378 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,800 - We can't have her feeling... 379 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,880 - When I went in to say hi to Suz, she sang Bugsy Malone at me again. 380 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,760 Honest question. Did I peak at ten? Don't answer that. 381 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,080 My life's great. 382 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,000 I've got a boyfriend who's obsessed with me. 383 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,520 But then I guess, we've both got that. 384 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,240 Yeah. Evie? - Mm? 385 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,960 - Cork green or mouse grey? 386 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,000 - Cork green. 387 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,600 - Really? 388 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,560 - Right, you lot! 389 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,720 Out here now! 390 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,200 Come on. Grab yourselves a glass of fizz. 391 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,240 - What's going on, Mum? - Oh! 392 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,760 Josh, do you want something more manly? Like a little beerski? 393 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,120 - No, no, no, Suz. Secco will do me fine. 394 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,880 - OK. - What is the occasion? - Oh, here he is! 395 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,600 The man of the hour! 396 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,360 - Man of the what? - So, Noa, 397 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,800 look, I know we haven't always connected... 398 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,080 - Mum, what's going on? 399 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,880 - Well, it's not that we haven't connected, it's just... 400 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,440 Well, you're a man of few words, aren't you? 401 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,160 You know, hard to read. 402 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,440 - Actually he's... - Sorry, one second, Evie. 403 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,000 Look, I know I'm not an official member of the club, 404 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,040 but, well, believe it or not, there is no snack fairy, you know, 405 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,600 they don't just magically appear. 406 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,680 So that's my way of saying, 407 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,040 you know, I get it, guys. 408 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,360 And so this is a toast 409 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,240 and a congratulations. 410 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,480 - Oh, congratulations, Noa! To the end of an era! - Yeah, cheers. 411 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,120 - Evie. 412 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,320 - Er, we're going to whack this film on, Mum. Kam's got nephews. - I... 413 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,440 Actually, come... I'm just... - OK. 414 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,360 - I'm just trying to say something. So... 415 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,600 Well, I've been thinking a lot about...life. - What? 416 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,920 - What? What is it? Is it actually sad? 417 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,280 Or is it just what it is? 418 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,320 Is it just bloody well what it is, guys? 419 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,320 Everything happens for a reason. 420 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,640 Que sera, sera! 421 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,400 - Sorry, what is going on? 422 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,040 - Noa's got a job in Bristol, babe. 423 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,120 - Oh! 424 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:29,560 Well done, mate! 425 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,240 - Yeah, to Noa! 426 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,480 - God, don't you do yourself down, Kamran. 427 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,880 - I wasn't, Suz. - You are incredible. 428 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,360 Blew me away as Bugsy. 429 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,960 - When's it happening, Noa? - God, Isobel! 430 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,000 Look, things change 431 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,920 and change is good. 432 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,640 It doesn't have to be sad or... 433 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,360 Or scary. It doesn't have to be. 434 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,560 It's just part of God's plan. - God? 435 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,200 - Yes, Isobel, or the universe. Fuck's sake! 436 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,800 - Yeah, I mean, you're right, Suz. 437 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,680 - Yes, thank you, Josh. Jesus. 438 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,320 Everyone's on the right path. 439 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,560 - God's path? 440 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,080 - No-one's on the wrong track. 441 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,280 - Mum, this film's quite long, so... - Nobody. 442 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,120 Josh, go and get me that poem on the fridge. 443 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:13,160 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Yes! - This is important, Evie. 444 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,240 It's important. 445 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,120 Cos she's got a good job waiting for her in town when she... 446 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,200 ..wants to go back to it. 447 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,720 She's got a great future ahead of her, too. 448 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,520 First class degree, first class in English Literature 449 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,640 from the University of Manchester, which was inevitable, 450 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,720 given that she was capable of this 451 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,880 when she was eight. 452 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,200 "That's me, the one you see 453 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,040 "floating in the air. 454 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,520 "It's cold and I'm scared. 455 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,480 "I have nits in my hair. 456 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,440 "I'm the one you see floating there. 457 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,880 "So, next time you're on your comfy sofa, watching TV, 458 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,640 "think of me. 459 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,640 "Next time you have a hot chocolate or tea, 460 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,200 "think of me. 461 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,880 "The one you see..." 462 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,520 - Lost up in the air. Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to go for a wee. 463 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,760 - "Lost up in the air." 464 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,960 - Come on. 465 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,680 BELL TINKLES 466 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:00,960 BRAKES SQUEAK 467 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,880 - What is wrong with you, love? 468 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,280 - DOOR OPENS 469 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,000 Kam? - Oh, so sorry, so sorry. 470 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,640 One of the nephews bit the other one 471 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,440 and honestly I'm absolutely famished. 472 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,880 I love you so much, thank you. 473 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,120 Thank you. Thank you. Happy film club. 474 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,360 See you later, Noa. 475 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,760 - Told me hit, not bit. 476 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,480 - DOOR CLOSES 477 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,160 AMERICAN ACCENT: This is the first time we've encountered 478 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,400 a species like this. 479 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,880 - This is the first time we've ever encountered 480 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,800 a species like THIS. 481 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,440 Look at that thing. 482 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,840 Don't touch it, don't touch it! 483 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,360 I will, by the way. 484 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:21,680 - Will what? 485 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,960 - Next time I'm on a comfy sofa, watching TV... 486 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,280 ..I will think of you. 487 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,240 - Even without a hot chocolate or a tea? 488 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,120 - No, but really. 489 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,120 - OFF-SCREEN: - At least she's tried twice today. 490 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:55,960 Maybe that speech did something. 491 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,480 - Maybe, you know, actually talking to her about it would help? 492 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,320 - Yeah, I am helping. You're help... We're all helping. 493 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,040 I'm reading the books. I'm listening to the podcasts. 494 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,480 - She came home six months ago and hasn't left since. 495 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,240 It's getting a bit... - Barbra Streisand didn't leave 496 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,000 her house for years and she's Babby. 497 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,560 You want to read My Name Is Barbra. Educate yourself. 498 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,400 - That cult was the only thing she had going on. 499 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,440 Like, I wonder what's going to happen now? 500 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,520 - Well, it can't get any worse, can it? 501 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,200 She's 28 years old, she can't get past the bleeding bin. 502 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,160 - What about Babby? - Yes, Babby. But now you've freaked me out! 503 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,480 Oh, it can't get any worse, can it, Isobel? 504 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,560 - It's not that far. 505 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:47,680 - It's not that far. 506 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,800 - 191 miles. 37318

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