Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,930 --> 00:00:02,929
Holy shit!
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:04,910
What holy shit?
3
00:00:05,670 --> 00:00:06,830
Holy shit!
4
00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:08,930
What holy shit?
5
00:00:09,570 --> 00:00:12,970
Someone just donated $5 ,000 to Petsail
Hearts.
6
00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:16,850
Holy shit.
7
00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:19,650
So what's the story? Does it say who it
was?
8
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:21,070
Well, it says anonymous donor.
9
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:23,890
Who would donate $5 ,000 and not want to
brag about it?
10
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:25,850
Can we find out somehow?
11
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:27,450
Nah, it's impossible.
12
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,940
Usually with these anonymous donations,
it's hidden through the back end of the
13
00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:32,940
payment system.
14
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,900
I thought you were supposed to be some
expert hacker.
15
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,260
I am.
16
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,280
Well, then find out who it is. This
person obviously has some level of power
17
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,500
they can just donate 5Gs at the drop of
a hat. Maybe they could do more for the
18
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,500
program.
19
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,500
Exposure. Oh, yeah. What are we supposed
to do, huh?
20
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:51,120
Track them down, bang on their door, and
demand another handout?
21
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:52,460
Uh, yeah.
22
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,340
Dude, 5K is a pretty big handout.
23
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,560
Which means they could take us to the
next level.
24
00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,840
This person is probably famous.
25
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:04,040
A reporter, businessman, or something.
26
00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:06,380
Enforcement!
27
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,860
We need to take this national.
28
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,420
No, global.
29
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,080
With pet seal hearts.
30
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:14,380
Hack the system.
31
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,960
Are you listening to this? I just told
you, I can't.
32
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,060
Okay, so basically what you're telling
me is you're some faux hacker?
33
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:25,000
I thought you could crack into any
online code.
34
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:26,360
I can.
35
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,260
Just don't think it's worth it.
36
00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:30,120
I mean, what's the incentive?
37
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,880
The incentive is to not let you make out
with me.
38
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,720
Ew, did I just say that?
39
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:36,818
With tongue?
40
00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:38,720
Ew! No tongue, no deal.
41
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:44,060
You know what? Fine.
42
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:46,060
Tongue, whatever.
43
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,800
Sacrifices I make for this charity.
44
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,680
You two better not forget this.
45
00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,830
You're not weirded out about the other
night, are you?
46
00:02:04,510 --> 00:02:05,510
No.
47
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,270
I'm used to having company.
48
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:09,350
Yeah, I know.
49
00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:12,850
What do you know?
50
00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:18,110
You've told me all about your history of
you hooking up with servers at your
51
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:22,490
restaurant and wine reps and patrons and
delivery girls.
52
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,470
So don't try and act all innocent with
me now.
53
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:28,570
Okay. The other night was different. I
promise.
54
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:32,820
I've developed a pretty spot -on
bullshit meter since the whole Sigma Pi
55
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,820
debacle.
56
00:02:34,260 --> 00:02:39,300
So I suggest you set your sights on
someone else, because you and I, we're
57
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,300
hooking up again.
58
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,880
Okay, that was hardly a hookup.
59
00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:48,900
We barely even kissed, and you don't get
to develop a spot -on bullshit meter
60
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,140
just because you refuse to put yourself
out there again.
61
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,960
Well, either way, it doesn't matter,
because I'm not interested.
62
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:58,500
You're desperately interested.
63
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,160
I appreciate you playing hard to get.
64
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,140
Dean, I'm serious.
65
00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:06,740
I'm not interested.
66
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,560
And even if I was, I've known you for
three and a half years and you've never
67
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,140
once had a girlfriend. That's like a
gigantic stay away sign.
68
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,040
Maybe because the person I really liked
was you.
69
00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:20,560
You're so full of crap.
70
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:24,560
You don't think it's weird that I have
this reputation for hooking up with all
71
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,620
these girls, meanwhile you and I...
72
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:30,420
I've been hanging out, flirting for the
last three years, and I never once made
73
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,600
a move on you until the other night.
74
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,020
I'm calling bullshit, but thanks for
playing.
75
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,060
All right, I'm out of here.
76
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,040
See you later, Romeo.
77
00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:36,340
Oh, my God.
78
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,980
It's 8 a .m. Are you still hacking?
79
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,100
Fucking A, man. And I'll tell you
another thing.
80
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,280
I found out who the donor is.
81
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,700
Yeah, okay.
82
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,340
I'm not making out with you until I've
brushed my teeth and had at least three
83
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,340
shots of vodka.
84
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,480
What's wrong?
85
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,400
It was Josh Rochette.
86
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:09,480
Josh Rochette?
87
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:10,860
What the fuck happened?
88
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,080
As in Madison's Josh Rochette?
89
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:18,060
As in the guy who uploaded over a
hundred selfies in one week?
90
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:23,520
That's the guy.
91
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,920
With him, no question about it.
92
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,980
But why would he do that?
93
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,260
No clue.
94
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,640
We can't tell her. Tell me what?
95
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:45,980
It's Josh Rochette.
96
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,640
Olivia!
97
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,100
Sit.
98
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,140
So how do I look?
99
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,040
Beautiful. Beautiful or intimidating?
100
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600
Beautiful.
101
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,060
I'm trying to look intimidating.
102
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:12,900
Then you do look intimidating.
103
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,600
I do, don't I? It's the Atkins diet. And
these stilettos.
104
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:20,760
Who are you trying to intimidate? Our
new pledges. And once they hear my
105
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,780
initiation plan, they're totally going
to be intimidated.
106
00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:23,739
Oh, yeah?
107
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,620
Yeah, and it's all thanks to you.
108
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,400
To me?
109
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,840
Yeah, you single -handedly humiliated a
completely innocent girl.
110
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,260
All for your fraternity, without a shred
of regret.
111
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,580
So, I'm going to see which one of my new
pledges will do that for Delta Gamma.
112
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:43,060
Look, you don't have to test people's
loyalty like that. There are other ways.
113
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,240
Yeah, but this is, like, way more fun. I
mean, listen to this and tell me that
114
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,540
this isn't more malicious than your
scheme from freshman year.
115
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,180
So we have this new pledge. Her name is
Stacy. She lives with this geeky girl
116
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:53,859
named Lori.
117
00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:56,420
Totally bushy -browed, virgin girl,
obsessed with the color pink.
118
00:07:56,640 --> 00:08:00,260
Wears elastic waistband pants and old
lady t -shirts. And on her spare time,
119
00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:01,260
paints bunnies.
120
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,780
as a part of Stacy's initiation, we're
going to have her convince Lori that
121
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,400
still Rush Week, even though Rush Week's
totally over. And then we're going to
122
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,940
hang out with her, take her to parties,
take all these compromising pictures,
123
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,880
and then make flyers, post them all over
the student body, and give them to the
124
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,860
faculty. And then on bid day, we're
going to tell her the sad, sad story
125
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:29,599
don't accept.
126
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,600
Sluts.
127
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:31,900
Awesome, right?
128
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,559
I think that's horrible.
129
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,740
What? Not brutal enough?
130
00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:40,700
Why would someone...
131
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,000
Do something like this.
132
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,240
Because people can be unthinkably cruel.
133
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,880
Especially frat boys and sorority girls.
134
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,600
Photoshop Josh horrible.
135
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:58,920
I'm just trying to figure out if Josh is
unthinkably cruel.
136
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:02,380
On one hand, he's a dick.
137
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,960
On the other hand, he's a dirty donut.
138
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,370
Which? He did it anonymously for a
reason.
139
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,030
It probably should have stayed that way.
140
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,450
My hacker roommate wanted to try out his
skills.
141
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:24,090
Do you think it would be a bad idea to
thank Josh for the donation?
142
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:29,710
Or just ignore it? I mean, $5 ,000 is
worth a thank you, right?
143
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:33,370
Okay.
144
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,290
No more tequila for you.
145
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:37,850
Your judgment is completely off.
146
00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,720
It was. That's a lot of money.
147
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,300
No amount of money makes up for what he
did to you.
148
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:51,840
What?
149
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,480
Feel like such a big girl.
150
00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:01,300
Getting drunk with a grown man in his
very own house with his own game room
151
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,300
pool vault.
152
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,280
Give me another shot.
153
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:05,570
No.
154
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:07,590
Please, I want it.
155
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:08,810
No.
156
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:14,850
Hey.
157
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:18,210
Madison. Madison, hey, hey.
158
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:19,890
No.
159
00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:21,630
Not like this.
160
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,230
Why not like this?
161
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:25,850
Because you're drunk.
162
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:28,830
And I like you.
163
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,390
Drunk sex.
164
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:32,310
No.
165
00:10:32,890 --> 00:10:33,890
Sober sex.
166
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,700
When you're ready.
167
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:39,040
Men are so confusing.
168
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:45,460
The ones that like you refuse to sleep
with you, and the ones that don't like
169
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:49,760
you sleep with you, and then donate to
your charity three years later.
170
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,200
No.
171
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:56,820
The ones that like you respect you.
172
00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:58,980
Come on.
173
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,720
Let's get you to bed.
174
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,980
Only if you carry me.
175
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:12,980
Madison?
176
00:12:13,719 --> 00:12:14,940
Well, here goes nothing.
177
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,400
You realize how embarrassing it is that,
you know, in order to kiss me, you have
178
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,880
to first lose a bet and then get drunk.
179
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,940
I'm not drunk. I haven't even taken a
sip.
180
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,140
Besides, it takes the edge off.
181
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,140
Yeah, but, you know, why is there an
edge to begin with?
182
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,540
You and I have been friends for forever.
183
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:47,560
I just don't want anything to ruin our
friendship.
184
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,480
So, if I get a little tipsy, it's more
casual.
185
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:54,580
Yeah.
186
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,240
You know, I think you're nervous.
187
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,400
I am not nervous.
188
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,740
I just don't want you to get all boy
-crushy on me.
189
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,080
Make things, like, awkward.
190
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,520
I think I can handle one kiss.
191
00:13:13,349 --> 00:13:14,630
Lucas, I've known you forever.
192
00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:18,150
I've seen how you fall in love with
girls practically overnight.
193
00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:22,030
Okay, look, that's not fair, all right?
That was freshman year.
194
00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:24,630
Are we really that different from
freshman year?
195
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:29,010
How about you stop stalling and kiss me
already?
196
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:06,700
Wait, that's it?
197
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,280
That's all the bet entailed, right?
198
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,560
You know, kissing with Tom?
199
00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:14,780
I'll see you later.
200
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:20,780
Okay, so you're not going to serenade me
with some ridiculous love song like you
201
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,080
did to that one girl freshman year?
202
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:25,600
Girl, I wrote this one for you.
203
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,420
You're my soulmate, it's true.
204
00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:32,500
You know, I think you're too good for
my...
205
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:35,410
Cliche romantic gestures of Loner Doe.
206
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:39,270
Lucas!
207
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:44,210
Come here.
208
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,500
I never would have pegged you for that
kind of a kisser.
209
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,220
You're just going to give me a shot.
210
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:54,780
Why would I? Come on.
211
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:35,550
the fuck are those look i mean i figured
of all people you could appreciate what
212
00:16:35,550 --> 00:16:42,090
are you going on safari maybe maybe i'm
hunting a big cat right now oh god i
213
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:46,390
know you like them i don't know about
this now i might have to put a bag over
214
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:47,390
your face
215
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,589
You get too overzealous. I know these
are probably the first tits you've ever
216
00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:11,589
seen.
217
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:13,369
Let me enjoy them then.
218
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:21,450
Take your cheetah print off.
219
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:28,710
Oh my god, I can't believe you're doing
this.
220
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,920
These have got to go I
221
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:17,880
may
222
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,200
have to show you how this is done
223
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:46,070
Oh my god.
224
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:10,100
I don't feel scared.
225
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:09,720
in the next video.
226
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,920
By the way, you better not tell anyone
about this.
227
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:56,680
Yeah, of course. How then?
228
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,400
Yeah, I promise.
229
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,600
Okay. I swear.
16103
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof