Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,180
Now!
2
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,660
Freshman year of college.
3
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:40,520
It's kind of like this weird science
experiment where a bunch of 18 -year
4
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,020
receive this injection of adulthood and
are then forced to figure out how to
5
00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:45,500
fend for themselves for the next year.
6
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:57,700
Okay, so maybe I'm being a little
dramatic, but think about it.
7
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,400
When you've lived your entire existence
under the watchful eye of your parents
8
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,060
and are then suddenly released into the
real world where you make the rules,
9
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,380
some pretty crazy things can happen.
10
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:12,600
You wake up in weird places and don't
remember how you got there.
11
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,600
You survive off things like ramen
noodles and cereal.
12
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,820
You experiment with sex.
13
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,920
And sometimes with your professor.
14
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,680
You learn how to navigate the complex
social structure comprised of Greek
15
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:38,680
or the non -conformist system as you try
and etch out that little
16
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,020
place for yourself in the world.
17
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,620
But what I remember most about my
freshman year of college was that even
18
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:50,300
I was old enough to fall completely,
desperately in love, I wasn't old enough
19
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:54,340
recognize I'd fallen completely,
desperately in love with the worst
20
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,340
person.
21
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:58,520
broke up with me.
22
00:02:04,260 --> 00:02:05,440
Table four.
23
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:10,460
Fast forward to my senior year of
college, where I was older, wiser, and
24
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,760
reasonably recovered from the heartbreak
of freshman year.
25
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,140
Or so I'd thought.
26
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:15,380
What the hell's the matter?
27
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:20,020
Um, nothing. Just trying to teleport
myself anywhere other than this bar.
28
00:02:21,380 --> 00:02:24,480
Well, you better teleport yourself over
to that table, because we have customers
29
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,480
in the intersection.
30
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560
I can't.
31
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:27,978
Why not?
32
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:31,300
Because one of those customers is Josh
Rochette.
33
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,120
I've never heard of him.
34
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,740
I was in love with him my freshman year
of college.
35
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:39,040
He was the first and last guy to ever
break my heart.
36
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,260
Aw, that's too bad.
37
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,880
Now will you go take his drink order?
38
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:48,340
Dean, do you have any idea how
humiliating it is to be sitting at home
39
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:52,620
dress you bought from Macy's for a date
with a guy you thought might actually be
40
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:55,260
your soulmate, only to find out you're
just the butt of a big joke?
41
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,510
No. I don't.
42
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,750
Well, it's horrible.
43
00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:01,610
And even though you're my boss, I'm
going to have to be insubordinate here
44
00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:02,610
say no.
45
00:03:02,690 --> 00:03:04,590
I will not go to Josh Rochette's table.
46
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:09,230
Well, that's okay, because he's on his
way over here. What?
47
00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:12,630
Hey, what's up, man?
48
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:16,230
Hey, we're pretty dry over at our table,
bro. Do you think you could hook us up
49
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,230
with some pitchers?
50
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:18,769
Sure, bro.
51
00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:20,450
Get right on that. All right, thanks,
man.
52
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,050
All right.
53
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,560
Is he gone?
54
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,780
No, he's not gone. He just got here.
55
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,560
Well, find someone else to cover my
shift because I am not going back there.
56
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:47,980
mean, if he sees me, he'll have the
entire bar chanting wham, bam,
57
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,120
thank you, lamb.
58
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,200
Wham, bam, thank you, what?
59
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,560
Wait, what does that even mean?
60
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770
Oh, nothing.
61
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:08,470
Just a little nickname, his fraternity,
and the entire student population gave
62
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:09,470
me my freshman year.
63
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:14,710
I was Sigma Pi's sacrificial lamb, and
nobody ever let me forget about it.
64
00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:21,709
Look, I know you think I'm freaking out
over nothing, but I'm not.
65
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,810
What exactly did he do to you?
66
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,440
His fraternity initiation task was this.
67
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:37,520
Get a girl to fall in love with him,
sleep with her, then dump her for no
68
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,860
the night of the annual fall party.
69
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:40,860
Peace, bitch.
70
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:46,280
That girl was me.
71
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,720
Josh Rochette's sacrificial lamb.
72
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,160
All so he could prove to Sigma Pi that
he was man enough to be a part of the
73
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,520
brotherhood. What a yuppie shit stick.
74
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:09,530
You shouldn't give that khaki pant
wearing, smegma pie joining, average
75
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:12,130
and fitch fucking deuce nugget a second
thought.
76
00:05:15,890 --> 00:05:17,090
Easier said than done.
77
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,890
Why does no one ever tell you how hard
it is to get over a broken heart?
78
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,070
What?
79
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:28,910
Alright, look.
80
00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:30,830
Josh Rosette...
81
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:36,310
Might be the world's biggest jackass
frat boy douchebag.
82
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,610
But I can promise you one thing.
83
00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:44,570
There's no way he ever spent any amount
of time with you and didn't fall
84
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:45,570
completely in love with you.
85
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:51,510
Are you actually being nice to me or is
there a punchline coming?
86
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,650
Well, that was a hell of a punchline.
87
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,650
Well, it wasn't a joke.
88
00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:13,850
I'm just going to get fired for this, am
I?
89
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:15,630
Of course not.
90
00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:21,650
Okay, I mean, because I really need this
job. If you fire me, I don't think I'll
91
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:25,890
have enough financial aid to pay for my
classes. I'm not going to fire you.
92
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,710
Okay, good, good. Okay, this is good.
93
00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:33,460
God, I'm really nervous, and, I mean, I
know it might not seem like I'm nervous,
94
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:34,539
but I'm nervous.
95
00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:37,600
I'm not sure if I told you this, but I
haven't had sex in a really long time,
96
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,940
like, since Josh Garshett.
97
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:43,380
Three years, and I've never had sex with
someone who's older than me, like, your
98
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:46,620
age. I mean, not that you're old, but
you know what I mean, and I just don't
99
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:50,120
want you to think I'm completely
inexperienced, even though I guess I
100
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,320
am. I mean, how experienced can you be
when you haven't had sex in three years?
101
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,280
And at this rate, I'm practically a
virgin, but...
102
00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,800
I mean, even virgins have to have sex.
Did I just kill the mood?
103
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:10,140
Hi, I'm Felicia Falcon here in Burbank,
California with Madison Presley, a
104
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:14,600
college senior who three years ago
started a program with her two friends
105
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,480
is changing the lives of people and
animals.
106
00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:19,700
Madison, tell me a little bit about this
program.
107
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,220
It's called Pets Heal Hearts, and we
actually go around to the local shelters
108
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:28,340
and rescue abused and neglected dogs,
bring them to the juvenile detention
109
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,920
centers where the kids can actually
train and rehabilitate their rescue
110
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:36,900
And working with the dogs teaches them
patience, compassion, and also the
111
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,260
importance of making a difference in the
world.
112
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,720
That is incredible.
113
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:43,700
I'm curious, how can our viewers get
involved in helping out with this kind
114
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:48,300
program? We need donations and
volunteers to really get our name out
115
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:50,869
Oh, look who it is.
116
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:54,190
Dude, check it out. You're famous. Do I
sound like an idiot?
117
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,390
No more of an idiot than you normally
do.
118
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,390
So what's up? What's the story? What
happened to you last night?
119
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,170
Well, Josh Rochette came into the bar.
120
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:04,289
Oh, dude.
121
00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:07,670
You spent the night with Josh Rochette?
No, are you kidding me? He was there
122
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:08,670
with Bethany Landis.
123
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:09,870
Bethany Landis?
124
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:13,030
Please tell me that sorority horse
turned into some skanky crackhead.
125
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,850
Nope. Still perfect as ever.
126
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:17,850
That fucking bitch.
127
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:23,280
Well, anyway, it just got me thinking
about all these memories from freshman
128
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,660
year, and I kind of hooked up with
somebody.
129
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:31,080
What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, so you see your kind of ex
130
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:35,080
and his delta gamma bitch girlfriend at
the bar, so you leave with some random
131
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,080
person?
132
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,799
You. It wasn't random. It was Dean.
133
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:40,679
Dean? Finally!
134
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:43,320
What? Dude, that's like career sabotage.
135
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,160
Lucas, bartending isn't my career.
136
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,359
Was it good?
137
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,360
I mean, we just made out.
138
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,660
Oh, but what? Good.
139
00:08:49,220 --> 00:08:52,120
It was at first, but then I kind of
ruined it by talking.
140
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,980
Ugh! Why do you always have to talk?
Don't talk.
141
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,620
Yeah, but that advice usually works
better for Olivia.
142
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,440
Says the guy who's made out with no one.
143
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:03,860
Okay, so when are you going to finish
things with Dean?
144
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,640
No, he slept on the couch. It was just a
fleeting moment. A rebound.
145
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:10,740
A rebound from what?
146
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,160
Josh.
147
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,540
No, no, no, no, no. You don't have
rebounds.
148
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,480
From things that happened three years
ago. Yeah, and usually a rebound
149
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,480
actual sex.
150
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:22,200
Well, I'm not gonna have sex with Dean.
151
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,760
It was just a one -time thing.
152
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,020
What?
153
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,360
Yeah, okay.
154
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:34,720
Do I look fat?
155
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,400
What?
156
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,620
No, your body is perfect.
157
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,050
I'm a half an inch bigger than I was
yesterday.
158
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:43,470
A half an inch. That's almost a pound of
fat.
159
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:46,590
How am I supposed to throw this big
health benefit for Delta Gamma when I
160
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:47,590
like this?
161
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,509
I don't know.
162
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,790
Maybe it's your period or something.
163
00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:51,210
So I do look fat?
164
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:54,050
You're going to have to roll me around
in flour and find the wet spot.
165
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,590
I found it!
166
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:04,050
Your body looks exactly the same way as
it always does.
167
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:07,210
Nobody's going to take me serious.
168
00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:10,910
I mean, how am I supposed to promote
healthy living when I don't even fit
169
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:11,910
my fat jeans?
170
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,010
I'm a whale.
171
00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:15,710
Let's have sex.
172
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:16,790
What?
173
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:17,910
No.
174
00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:22,070
I've got to study for my econ exam. It's
in like two hours.
175
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,249
It's okay.
176
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,250
I'll be quick.
177
00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,970
Bethy, I'm on academic probation.
178
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:32,010
If I flunk another class, my dad's going
to have to buy me another passing
179
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,590
grade. There's no way I can do this.
180
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,020
Okay. Then let him up to the job.
181
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:42,880
Besides having sex burns calories and
promotes brain function, so we both win.
182
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,680
Don't be such a good boy.
183
00:28:13,130 --> 00:28:17,210
We need donations and volunteers to
really get our name out there. We want
184
00:28:17,210 --> 00:28:18,109
to go national.
185
00:28:18,110 --> 00:28:20,390
Oh, my God, it's Liam Bam. Thank you,
Liam.
186
00:28:20,690 --> 00:28:24,270
Here is Madison. Was there anything in
particular that inspired the creation of
187
00:28:24,270 --> 00:28:25,270
this program?
188
00:28:25,790 --> 00:28:30,390
Now she's fat. Actually, a few years
ago, I found myself the butt of a pretty
189
00:28:30,390 --> 00:28:34,390
nasty fraternity joke, which then
snowballed into an even bigger joke
190
00:28:34,390 --> 00:28:39,330
campus. And even though a lot of people
thought it was funny, I didn't.
191
00:28:40,490 --> 00:28:43,250
I don't think people realize just how
hurt I was by what had happened.
192
00:28:43,610 --> 00:28:47,870
So I decided to start Pets Heal Hearts
as a way to teach people compassion.
193
00:28:48,230 --> 00:28:51,350
Sounds like those fraternity boys might
have learned something from Pets Heal
194
00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:52,450
Hearts. Oh, my God.
195
00:28:52,870 --> 00:28:57,150
She's so talking about you. My baby made
it on TV. That's so cool.
196
00:28:57,450 --> 00:28:59,810
Remember, Pets Heal Hearts. They're
looking for donators, volunteers.
197
00:29:00,710 --> 00:29:02,090
Check them out on Tumblr.
198
00:29:02,690 --> 00:29:04,790
PetsHealHearts .tumblr .com. Back to
you, Bob.
15620
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof