All language subtitles for sex and the city s04e16

A girl in pigtails once said,
"There's no place like home."

But then her home didn't have a toilet
that flushed for no reason.

And a boyfriend who was moving out
for one big reason.

That's the last of it.

Okay.

You want me to fix that?

No, it's okay.
I can get someone to come and fix it.

Just let me get in there for a sec.

-Hold the ball cock.
-Huh?

-This thing right here.
-Oh.

Yeah, right there.

That should do it.

I should go.

You can't leave.

Our last words to each other
can't be "ball cock."

You should definitely stay.

At least for another day.

Or forever.

We've been through this.

I can't.

Are you sure?

I am.

Aidan, um...

This is difficult to say.

Um...

I left the ring on the clown table.

-That's yours.
-No, no, no.

I should never have accepted it
in the first place. I'm sorry.

-Please take the ring.
-I want you to have it.

Please, take it.

If you do or say...

one more nice thing...

Okay, I gotta go.

All right, I can't watch you leave,
so I think I'm just gonna...

I'm better... I'm gonna stand here.
Could you just...

Could you just, um, shut the door?

-Carrie.
-I know.

Go.

Three hours later,
I peeled myself off the bathroom floor.

Apparently there were things that
were difficult for Aidan to say as well.

I curled up
to read Aidan's last words to me,

also known as the good-bye letter.

-Aidan's evicting her?
-He's not evicting her.

He giving her 30 days
to decide what she wants to do.

-Well, that's just tacky.
-Look, life gets complicated.

Steve and I are drawing up papers
to timeshare our kid.

Great love stories are supposed to end
with tragedy and tears,

not papers from the law firm
of Gold and Vogel.

This is more than fair.

He's asking you to buy your apartment
for the exact price he paid,

or you can vacate and he'll sell it.

Vacate?

I'm homeless.

I'll be a bag lady.
A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady.

Maybe you should think about
buying your place.

No, I am not a buyer.

New York is a town of renters.
Everybody rents.

-I don't.
-I don't.

-I don't.
-You got yours in the settlement.

You did not have to pay
for your apartment.

Oh, I paid for that apartment.

I'm pregnant. I can't control it.

Well, honey, you better learn,
because that is unappetizing.

I know. I am so swollen and gassy.

I'm like a flotation device.

I'll get this one.
And I don't want a fight out of you.

Save it for your down payment.

Oh! Excuse me.
You bought the Chanel wallet?

Oh, no, Richard gave it to me as a gift.

-Nice. What was the occasion?
-No occasion.

-He is in love with you.
-He's not in love with me.

-You don't know that.
-Yes, I do.

Take a look at the card.

"Style for style.
Best, Richard."

-"Best." Yikes.
-"Best" is the worst.

Yeah, even Gold and Vogel
give you "sincerely."

"Best" is like signing "Not love."

It's the thought
that counts.

He bought you something
he knew you'd love.

He's a pretty generous guy, with money.

Aidan wanted me to keep the ring.

You did, didn't you?

Oh, honey, you're a fool.

No. It was the right thing to do.

Do you ever think about
giving yours back?

No, I love that ring.

I couldn't keep it.

Every time I looked at it,
it would break my heart.

This ring is worth a lot.

Tiffany, 2. 17 carats, platinum setting.

Beautiful cut, very few inclusions.

So, what do you want to do with it?

I was thinking
maybe I'd turn it into a necklace.

A floating diamond necklace
would be to die. Very now.

So, a lot of people do this.

These were my baguettes.

Because it turned out
my husband was a faggot,

now they're earrings.
But he had good taste.

So a necklace?

I'm not sure.

Maybe a pendant.

We can melt down the platinum setting
and turn it into spectacular earrings.

Melt? Melt it down?

There,
in the wedding band boneyard,

Charlotte started to melt down.

I don't think I'm ready for this.

Just don't take it
to the gypsies next door.

Okay.

Let's look at your assets
here at the bank.

-We may be able to use them

as collateral for the loan.

Linda, Line 1.

Okay, it says here that you have
$700 in your checking account.

I just paid my credit card bill.

And $957 in savings.

Look, Linda.

You're single, right?

So I'm sure that
you can appreciate my problem.

I just broke up with my fiancé,
which, trust me, is traumatic enough...

Linda, Line 2.

And now I have 25 days
to either find the money to buy my place

or I am out on the street.

Do you have any other income,
besides the column?

No.

But I was chosen as New York Magazine's
best pick for city columnist.

I was the pick over Pete Hamill.

What about your assets outside the bank?

-Property, stocks, bonds?
-No, no, no.

I'm sorry, Ms. Bradshaw,

but you are not
a desirable candidate for a loan.

After assessing
what little assets I had,

I realized I would have to
change my lifestyle.

Excuse me,
could you tell me how much the bus is?

$1 .50.

Really?

Wow, last time I took the bus,
it was like 75 cents.

You know, for 3 more bucks,
you could take a cab.

For crying out loud.

Why do you have to take the bus
if you're on the bus?

My thoughts exactly.

So here I was,
a 35-year-old single woman

with no financial security,
but many life experiences behind me.

-Did that mean nothing?

After all, heartbreak and breakups
are the hardest kind of work.

So shouldn't there be
some sort of credit for enduring them?

And if not,
how do you retain a sense of value

when you have nothing concrete
to show for it?

Because at the end
of yet another failed relationship,

when all you have
are war wounds and self-doubt,

you have to wonder, what's it all worth?

Let me just say again,
I love your gallery,

so if there are ever any openings,
you have my résumé.

Meanwhile,
a woman with far fewer financial worries

was also contemplating her worth.

Charlotte knew
the ring didn't mean as much,

now that she was no longer with Trey.

But on that particularly low Thursday,

she put on her 2. 17-carat diamond

and wandered around
her 2. 17-carat Park Avenue apartment.

That night, at Richard's...

Another gift.
Are you trying to spoil me?

That's the plan.

-Oh, La Petite Coquette, my favorite.
-I know. I pay attention.

Wait a minute. There's a card.

Oh.

The card.

"Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard."

Why don't you slip into that
while I pour us some Chrystal?

I'll do my very best.

Oh...

Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.

Oh, this is torture.

Why are you doing this to me?
I can't buy shoes.

Well, I have to buy shoes.
None of my old ones fit.

Even my feet are fat.

-These are pretty.
-I'm looking for comfortable.

Then I'll try these for you.

-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes?

Could I try these, please,
in a seven-and-a-half?

-Sure.
-Oh.

Um, and these, and...

And, well, I guess, just all of these.

But, sir, no matter what happens
in the next 20 minutes,

under no circumstances
am I to buy these.

I'm just trying them on for fun.

How fun for me.

Could I try these in a nine?

-Sure.
-Thanks.

-What is that smell?
-Sorry.

I've learned to control the sound now,
but not the activity.

That's just mean.

Damn!

How are people gonna know to scatter
without a warning?

Although, maybe it's not that
I control the noise

as much as my ass is so big
the sound is now muffled.

Look at my fingers.

They're like sausages.
I can't even get my ring off.

I'm telling you, the fat ass,
the farting, it's ridiculous.

I am unfuckable.

And I have never been so horny
in my entire life.

-Really?
-Yeah.

That's why you're supposed to be married
when you're pregnant,

so somebody is obligated
to have sex with you.

-I'm an undesirable.
-No, I am.

The lady at the bank said I was
an unattractive candidate for a loan.

Where did all my money go?
I know I made some.

Uh, at $400 a pop,
how many of these do you have? Fifty?

Come on.

A hundred?

Would that be wrong?

100 times 400,
there's your down payment.

Well, that's only $4,000.

No, it's $40,000.

I spent $40,000 on shoes

and I have no place to live?

I will literally be the old woman
who lived in her shoes.

[Miranda farts, sighs]

I pulled my own finger.

I'm a walking whoopee cushion.

When a girl gets backed up
against the wall she can't afford,

she has to consider renting others.

That's the closet?

Where do the shoes go?

You get one of those racks
that hang on the door.

I'll hang myself on a door
if I have to live here.

Do...

Do I smell curry?

There's an Indian restaurant downstairs.

Delia, I ask you,

how can this apartment
be $2,800 a month?

I pay $750 for something
that's twice the size,

and it don't smell like takeout.

You have a rent-controlled apartment,
I suggest you stay there.

Well, unfortunately,
that's really not an option.

What other shitholes
are you showing me today?

I have to be honest. With your attitude
and price limitations,

I think you should consider Weehawken.

Uh, get back to me
when the numbers are in.

Well, look at you, all dressed up.
Applying for a job here?

So this is where you work.

It's cute. It's smaller than I expected.

I always imagined rows and rows
of blondes in tight sweaters, typing.

Oh, they're at lunch.

-I am here in an official capacity.
-Oh.

Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down?

By all means. Pick a chair.

Faced with
the prospect of Weehawken,

I decided it was time
to call in the big guns.

Now, what can I do for you?

I once read that you took something
like $3 million and leveraged it

to build a $100 million building.
How did you do that?

What's going on?

I want to buy my apartment
but I have no money.

I'm worth nothing.

You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw.

Well, maybe you should
go work at a bank.

Aidan and I broke up.

So it's not just money troubles.

Why didn't you call me?

I got enough troubles.

What happened?

Apparently you were right,
I am not the marrying kind.

Or the timing wasn't right.

You're gonna be okay, kid.

So, I need money. You know money.

I need to know
what you know about money.

Simple.

I'll tell you how to get the money.

Big offered me the money
for my down payment.

But I could never take it.

-Could I?
-No, you couldn't.

He just gave you $30,000?

As a loan. I would pay him back.

Take the money.

When a man gives you money,
you give him control.

It's just money.
Man, woman, who cares? It's fluid.

Someone needs it, you give it.
You need it, you take it.

I'm uncomfortable
with this conversation.

We shouldn't be talking about money.

Why not? We talk about everything else.

People are funny about money.

Like Richard,
he's happy to buy me gifts, but...

Still no "love"?

No, but he continues to send his best.

Don't cash Big's cheque.
I'll loan you the money.

You're about to have a baby.
I can't take your money.

And furthermore, do you have that much?

I have about half that.

What? Does no one else shoe shop?

I could loan you the rest.

Look, that is really, really sweet
of you two to offer.

It's really, really sweet,
but I'm gonna do this on my own.

So I can't tape it back.

-I have news.
-Ooh?

Looks like I've gotten a job as a docent
at the Museum of Modern Art.

- Mmm.
-What does that pay? I can docent.

Oh, it's a volunteer job,
but they're very coveted positions.

Oh.

You come back.

I have no fortune.

I didn't need a cookie to tell me that.

You know, these fans only cost a dollar.

I'm gonna save a lot of money
on air conditioning.

You okay?

No apartment and no Aidan.

It's been a rough two weeks.

Just give me a block. I'm gonna be fine.

As I thought about leaving the apartment
that I had lived in for the past decade

I realized how much I would miss it.

Through everything,
it had always been there for me.

And suddenly I was irrationally angry

and I knew just where and who
to take it irrationally out on.

Hi. What are you doing here?

I was just in the neighborhood.

Well, come on in.

You want some iced tea or something?

Why didn't you offer me the money?

-I knew you were gonna say that.
-I wouldn't take it.

Then what does it matter
if I offer it or not?

Because...

I would've offered it to you.

You're my friend.

Money and friendship don't mix.

My father and his friend Paul
were never the same--

We're not talking about your father
and his friend Paul.

We're talking about you
and your friend, me.

And for the record, I am aware

that I have some financial messiness
that I have to clean up, and to that end

I am looking into
some freelance magazine work.

I have been offered $4 a word at Vogue.
That is a lot.

Most people get $2.

So yes, I have made some mistakes,
and, Charlotte

you have made some mistakes.

And when you were making those mistakes,

I was sitting across from you
at the coffee shop,

nodding, and listening,
and supporting you.

I was not sitting
at a Chinese restaurant

turning away,
when you should have been looking at me.

And what kills me is
you don't even have to work.

You're volunteering.

Carrie, I love you.

But it's not my job
to fix your finances.

You're a 35-year-old woman.

You need to learn to stand on your own.

Charlotte...

What is that on your finger?

I just wear it
when I'm alone in my house.

And you're telling me
to be more independent?

It's my ring.
I can wear it if I want to.

And so what if it makes me feel better?

And for the record,

the only reason that I'm volunteering
is because no one will hire me.

I've called seven galleries.

Apparently I have too much experience.

You're right.

It's your ring, your business.

I just got all worked up
on the walk over here.

You walked?

No, I took a $5 cab ride, 7 blocks.

These shoes pinch my feet,
but I love them.

I am in a financial cul-de-sac.

But I'm gonna take the bus.

Just hope I'm not on it.

Meanwhile,
in the lap of luxury...

It's okay.
I'm Richard's assistant, and I'm gay.

Okay. Turn around,
and give a girl a moment.

I'm Roger,
and you weren't supposed to be here.

Richard left, and I decided
to take a nice relaxing bath,

but now that's shot to shit.

Okay, decent.

I am so sorry,
but if it's any consolation, wow.

Pilates.

So why haven't I seen you
around the office?

Uh... He has three assistants.
I run his errands.

Oh, his errands.

Is that an errand
gift-wrapped on the bed?

Uh...

All right, I'm his personal shopper.

-He's a very busy man.
-I'll bet.

Exactly how many women
are you buying gifts for?

What do you mean?

Roger, honey, you've seen my bush.
We're a little past acting coy.

Since you came into the picture,
a lot less.

And he's never sent me to Chanel before.

That was fun. Great wallet.

Also came in red,
but I couldn't decide--

So, Richard didn't pick out
any of these gifts?

Technically, no.

But, uh, he really, really likes you.
I can tell.

Mmm, yeah, he thinks I'm the best.

Wait, the cards.

"Style for style"? "Sexy for sexy"?

Um...

"Me for you."

Please, don't have me fired.

I'll tell you what.
I'll pretend you don't exist.

-Thank you.
-If you do one thing for me.

Oh, Richard.

-I thought you'd like it.
-Oh, you did?

Oh! Oops.

I forgot the card.

"Gorgeous for gorgeous.

Love, Richard."

I love you, Samantha.

-I do.
-You do?

And I love...

this.

Samantha could have said,
"I love you."

But she was afraid
it would cost her too much.

So she did what she did best.

Okay, so every other Saturday
and Wednesday at 5:00, you take him.

I was thinking 4:57 would be better.

You think this is stupid?

No, I just was thinking that
things are gonna get off-schedule.

I mean, we're talking about a kid,
not a train.

I'd offer to do that for you,
but I don't think it's in the contract.

Don't give me a hard time.

I could fart you into oblivion
right now.

Oh, that feels so great.

Thanks.

Steve, am I ugly?

What?

No. You got that glow.

But would you want to have sex with me?

What are you talking about?

You're pregnant.

Yeah.

And another charming side effect,
aside from flatulence and bloating,

is all I can think about is sex.

And who would want to have sex with me?

I'd like to have sex with you,

but I'm pretty sure
that it's not allowed.

I've read section B-14 in the contract,

and it said nothing about sex.

Fuck the contract.

And please fuck me.

-Ouch.
-What?

You're squishing me.

-I'm sorry.
-No.

That night, Steve gave Miranda
multiple orgasms, for what it's worth.

Just to be clear,
this doesn't mean we're a couple.

This is a mercy fuck.

I'm sorry about the other day.

And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.

You were right.

I haven't wanted to let go
of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal.

Well, I think that
you are coping amazingly well.

I'm just scared.

I know.

Me too.

Wow.

We're alone again.

Yeah.

I want you to take the ring
for your down payment.

Oh, no, no, I can't, I can't.
You love this ring.

No.

I love what the ring represented.

No, Charlotte, I think you're right.
It would make things too complicated.

Carrie, this is a straightforward
business proposal.

Clean and simple.

Why do I have all this money
if I can't help out a friend?

But it would be a loan.
I'll pay you back.

I know.

I want you to think
really carefully about this.

I have.

Will you be comfortable knowing that
it will take me time to pay you back?

Yes, I will.

I really appreciate this.

And I'll pay you back.
You know that, right?

I do.

It's okay. I trust you.

Will you take the ring?

I will.

Thank you.

Charlotte had taken
her painful past

and turned it into my hopeful future,

-and that made the ring priceless.
-Oh!

I start work at the museum next week.

Ooh. That's great. Oh, guess what.

I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word.

I fixed the toilet,

and I should be done with this
by the end of the afternoon.

Okay, great. Thank you.

It wasn't quite as easy as clicking
my Manolo Blahniks three times,

but it was worth it.

I was home.