Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am Al Kabeer" - "He is Al Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men"

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have Al Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear"

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, Al Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

"End of story!"

"Boy!"

"Episode 25"

- Come on, Kabeer - Come on, Kabeer

- Join us - Make room for me, woman

- Come on, Kabeer - No, I won't jump in

- Why, Kabeer? Join us - No, I won't do it

- Why, Kabeer? The water's great - Geronimo!

What's with you? Splash them!

- Take this - How do you like that?

What's wrong with you?

This is so fun I'm having fun in the pool

Seriously? What's going on here?

No way, how could they let such people into a five-star hotel

I don't know, it's ridiculous, unbelievable

How could they let the likes of them into a hotel like this one?

- Hi - Hi

- My name's Johnny - Rania

- Nice name - Thank you

- And you are? - Iman

Are you two friends?

Nice

- Do you come here often? - Yes, I always come two times a year

- Nice - Is this a sardine fish, Kabeer?

What sardine? Are you nuts? This is a hybrid

A penguin-dolphin hybrid

It's a penguin on this side and a dolphin on the other

Let me ride the dolphin

Have you ever been to a place called Ras Shitan?

- No - You're definitely missing out

- Really - For sure

Ras Shitan has a Bedouin style

It has bonfires and mountains

and huts, we all sleep in huts it's primitive

- Wow, I love it - I love it, too

- Ashraf - What do you want?

- I want to play with the float - Go take your fish back from, Kabeer

- I willingly gave it to him - No, he took it from you

- I need it, Ashraf, I'm short - No, I won't give it to you

- Won't you give me it? I gave it to you - No, I won't

Fine

I'll take it

Give it back, wait

Tell you what

- Can I have your number so we can talk? - Okay

Zero one one

One one

- One - Damn, five ones?

- Yes - This is quite unusual

- Eight - Hold on, my phone died

- Hello, Mr. Johnny - Oh shit

- Hello, baby - Hi

What's this, Doctor? What brings you to the hotel?

Didn't you rent an apartment on the mountain?

- What brought you here? - I brought him here, Johnny

I felt bad for him because he was going to spend the day alone over there

So I invited him to spend the day with us by the swimming pool

True, Johnny

The Madam graciously invited me here so I had to come

Besides, resorts are more fun with company I see you have some

Let's go, Dr. Rabea, would you like to get in the water or have a drink first?

No, of course, resorts mean water but drinks have water, too

Yes, you're so hilarious absolutely funny

- No, you're so sweet - I'll be with you shortly

- Okay, bye - Bye

Johnny, can I leave my things with you, please?

Can you pass it, please?

- What's this? Pickled vegetables? - No, that's my underwear

Take care of it, Johnny it's very expensive, from Embrator

Okay, see you

Who's that, Johnny?

He's the Embrator, he's a doctor

A doctor of nuclear energy from Holland

Great thinkers always seem ignorant...

and retarded or cringy

- He's like that - Okay

But anyway, the elegant woman that was beside him

- Yes - That's my mother, you can tell

- how elegant and classy she is - Right

Kabeer!

- What are these? - What's wrong?

- What are these? - They're my fins

- Give them to me - Are you going to take everything?

Give me the fins now

- What are you going to do with them? - What do you think? cut Baklava!

- I'm going to wear them on my hands - But these go on your feet

- No way! - Yes

Let me see

- Those are mine, Kabeer - Stay back

- Kid, get up, get off of it - Why?

- Get off now, I said now! - No

- No? I said get off - No

Mommy!

Mommy!

Idiot

- The boat's sinking, Kabeer - Help

- The boat's sinking - Kabeer

The boat's sinking Come here, Kabeer

So, where were we? Zero five ones

Eight

- One - Another one?

- Here we go again - Yes

Johnny!

Quickly, give me the number What's after one?

Johnny!

Ashraf and Hagras peed in the pool

- No, I didn't - Yes, you did

I swear, I did it at the showers

So he did it twice, one in the pool and one at the showers

Nice one, he's just kidding

- Let's leave - He's kidding

Let's leave

What's the last digit?

Tell you what, Johnny Don't I look like a crab?

Damn you all!

Come on, Man Where's the diving instructor?

He's coming up now Captain Hamdi

"I'm a fisherman and I'm making a living"

"I caught a bagrus and a tilapia fish"

"God is kind and acts are judged by the intention"

"Egypt's beautiful"

"Always remember Egypt's beautiful"

What's this?

- Kabeer? - Hamdi Kata?

Thank God for your safety

- How are you, Kabeer? - I'm good, thanks

- What're you doing here? - I'm on vacation, what about you?

I'm making falafel...

You see someone on a boat wearing a diving suit

What'd he be doing? Catching shrimp? I'm the master diver in the area

What a disaster? You're our diving instructor?

Is that a problem? Are you underestimating me?

I'm one of the undiscovered talents in the country

- Do you believe in God? - There's no god but Allah

Diving was my first job

- You're lying, Hamdi - No, I'm not

How'd you know about diving? Where did you even see the sea?

When I worked in the sewers

There's a big difference

between a worker who dives in waste and a diver who swims by reefs

Don't overcomplicate it, Kabeer It's all water

No, there's waste water and normal water

I used to swim in scented water Do you have a problem with that?

Besides, I don't want you to worry about diving when you're with me

Can you believe that they used to call me Catfish?

- You don't even count as a tiny fish - Are you going to waste my time?

Where are the rest of the people whom I'm going to train?

So now we are just like in that film the Devil Island

We're going to wear this and dive to find the treasure

What treasure and what island, Hadeya?

This is the oxygen that we'll breath underwater

- So, we'll be just like the fish - Exactly, just like the fish

- How wonderful - Wow! Mrs. Hadeya!

I accidently heard you, I swear

- Turn around, man - I can barely see, man

- Damn you, how are you going to instruct us? - Diving isn't about good eyesight

It's about wit and movement

- Turn around - Fine, Sir

- Go change - Why do you want us to change, Kabeer?

They're tight like Power Rangers' suits

What's wrong with Power Rangers? They're very nice

Tell you what, you three are driving me nuts

- Yes, do you need anything? - Turn around, man

- Are they all naked? - You can't see a thing?

Turn around

- Come on, go - What's the meaning of this?

What happened, Kabeer? Diving suits have always been like this

and I won't change

- I won't either - You won't do what, woman?

I'll go change, too

Are they gone, Kabeer? Can I change?

Kabeer's behind you, Uncle Hamdi

- Damn you, you're killing me - Yes, I'm with you

why are you making me doubt myself?

Do you know diving signs or you're going to give me a hard time?

- What are those? - How do you say you're fine?

You'd stand like this and do this

That's books talk, it's ridiculous Listen to me, I'm experienced

- Like this - What's this?

This means everything's good

If I see you moving it like this I'm giving you a yellow ticket

You're talking nonsense Ezzat El Alaili did only this in the film

that his thumb cramped

- Isn't this Eilat movie? - It is

I'm the one who trained them Focus, this won't take long

- What does this mean? - What?

It means be quick He's going to make this hard for me

- Oh dear God - When I... Focus!

Don't take your eyes off me when we're diving and I'll instruct you

know that I'm drowning as soon as you see me do this

Look, Kabeer, isn't that Dr. Rabea?

What a happy coincidence, Madam Samantha and Al Kabeer?

Coincidence? Like we're meeting at the passport office in Tahrir Center?

- We're in the middle of the sea - Yes, a coincidence

I ride the pedal boat daily to the beach

Then take the tuk-tuk to my rental room on the mountain

But what a coincidence, Kabeer!

I thought I'd go into sea to get some stuff today

Yes, Paramount cigarettes and meat

So funny!

No, I thought I'd get some tilapia and mullet

and some shells I love collecting them

How wonderful!

I color them and turn them into ashtrays

and sell them in my spare time

He's such a resilient, self-made man

Come dive with us, Dr. Rabea Don't we have an extra suit?

We do, let's dive already, before I dive by myself

- I just want this to end - No, there isn't an extra suit

I've never worn a suit to an occasion, not even my wedding

I'll come now, but please, Kabeer throw me that a lifebuoy

What's the matter, Mr. Johnny?

What's wrong?

- Nothing - I don't believe you

You've been upset since we got here, and you're distancing yourself from us

You look unhappy

- Guess what? - What?

I'm the happiest man on earth

I'm really pleased with you, because you're smart

Any idiot would know that I'm upset, because I'm livid

I'm angry and want to end myself

Could it be because Hadeya and Kabeer drowned their diving instructor?

You can't blame them, he refused to let them eat salt fish on the boat

Then you must be mad because Ashraf peed in the pool, you're right

So you're mad at me for peeing in the showers

but I didn't know it's a shower

Do you hear what kind of things you're saying?

What you did occurs only in sci-fi films It's unbelievable

Shame on you, you've embarrassed me

You've made me feel small in front of people

I can't show my face around here

That's it, I've decided to return to Al Mazareeta

Any place would be the best place if you're not there

You'd go and leave us, Mr. Johnny? The resort won't be fun without you

No, you'd still have fun with your bullshit

You're having fun and I'm having the worst time

I was sitting with a pretty girl

She was giving me her number and there was one digit left

and you creeped her out as she was giving me it

Kabeer started acting like a crab in the pool

Saying "look, I'm a crab" Then getting under the water

And when I'd think he's dead, he'd pop out again, he wouldn't die

Calm down, Mr. Johnny don't be upset

From now on, I'll make you proud

and I'll be good ambassador for Al Mazareeta here

Stop this nonsense Not when you're wearing this

- Hazalkoom has a better fashion sense - Hazalkoom who?

First of all, you can't wear two different tree patterns

- It creates contrast - You're always ready with a reply

You don't listen Simply, just listen!

Okay, Mr. Johnny I'll listen to what you say

Come on, we don't want to miss dinner, I'm tired and starving

What dinner? Damn you, you just ate a huge pasta dish two hours ago

- Do you have intestinal parasites? - No, but the food's free

And to be honest, Mr. Johnny The open buffet thing is driving me nuts

We were lied to

What a pig

Good evening, Mr. Johnny

I'll introduce myself, I'm...

Wait a minute

- You're Omar - Omar Salah, yes, welcome

- Do you know how I knew that? - It must be my name tag

No, I have stigmatism, I didn't notice it

It's your laugh, Kabeer told me you don't stop laughing

We're so happy to have you at the hotel today

We're honestly all so happy

- Thank you - We're very happy

Me too, look, I'm so ashamed

Not at all, Mr. Johnny and speaking of our mutual content

I'd like to inform you an incident that we had at the hotel

There was a fire

Do you want me to extinguish it? Do I look like a fireman?

Not at all, Sir, one of the guests in your group caused it

Who was it?

We caught Mr. Ashraf red-handed

Ashraf?

Kabeer was betting on you You, Ashraf?

Why did you smoke in the room? Didn't you see the sign with the X?

He's ignorant, Mr. Johnny

How could you do that, Ashraf? Are you dumb?

You should've covered the fire alarm with a sock or a wet cloth

so I doesn't detect the smoke

- or smoke out on the balcony - What's this idiocy? What nonsense!

- Do you even smoke? - No, Mr. Johnny, but it's obvious

What do you mean? I don't even smoke, Mr. Johnny

You should know, Ashraf is capable of anything but lying

Good on you, Ashraf Tell us clearly, Ashraf

What do you think caused the smoke or fire in your room?

- Could it have been the hookah? - Hookah?

- Yes - You've brought one to the hotel?

I brought a hookah and a charcoal burner

Damn you

- When did you manage to search him? - No, Sir, it's the pattern

This is a bigger crime Get out of my face! Go!

Follow him with your tree shirt

- What did I do, Mr. Johnny? - You peed in the showers

- Fine - You rotten pig, with the wet cloth idea!

- Is that acceptable, Mr. Johnny? - Sorry, man, I'm really sorry

I don't know what to do I'm beyond embarrassed

I just want the ground to open up and swallow me

Didn't I tell you while you're booking the rooms

- that smoking isn't allowed in there? - You did, you're right

And you should know

I swear I told them all of this I even translated the English information

- What else could I have done? - It's fine now

thank God we have very high-tech sensors

It detected the smoke, sprayed water and wetted the whole floor

- Oh my God - It's absolutely fine

I'm sorry, I know it's meaningless and repeated now, I'm sorry

- Don't worry about it - I'd use another word if I could find one

Anyway, I've assessed the damages and wrote them on this paper

This is a tip, man Were you rolling a joint?

- No, it contains the damages... - Right

We can't fit anymore in there

- You roll it... - I roll it because...

It's a habit from childhood maybe

Check this one out too

- Look - Yes

- This, roll it as you do - Okay

And put it on Kabeer's account

- You've done it to Kabeer twice now - Right

You know, when it comes to brothers

- there's always a good one, and the other... - Yes

- is a douche - I'm the douche

And if there're any extra orders you've made

- On my account? - Shall I put it...

On Kabeer's account

- I reckon you're also... - The douche, yes, that's right

- It's been a pleasure knowing you - Likewise

And I don't think you'll ever see my face again

- I mean... - If you want, visit us in Al Mazareeta

- Al Mazareeta? - Yes

- It's been a pleasure, bye - We loved having you here

- It's been a pleasure, bye - Likewise

Johnny

Why aren't you answering?

Are you smoking or something? What's this?

Johnny...

Won't you answer, sweet thing?

Johnny!

- Answer already - Who's pounding like a donkey?

Why are you knocking like this?

What's this?

- Where's Johnny? - Johnny who?

- My brother - No one's here, this is my room

I know his room, do I have the wrong number?

And I'm telling you this is my room

- Is this a new method of stealing? - What?

Leave with your ugly poster before I stick you to the wall

- What's happening, Kabeer? - He's a thief

- Let me go - Thief

Hold on, Kabeer

What a stunning view Egypt's mesmerizing

Egypt is the mother of the world, Madam

Do you know when was the first time I rode this cable car?

- When was that? - Right now

This is my first time

A long time ago, I was on a trip with my dad

And I asked him if I could ride the cable car

And he told me...

It's either the cable car or the medical college

Of course, you were intelligent enough and chose medical college

No, to be honest I chose the cable car

I could never forget what happened next

My dad got so mad, he lost it and he hit me

His voice changed and he said

"I swear, you won't get to have either"

How did you become a doctor? Where did you earn your degree from?

No, let's leave that for another time It's a long story

And the ride is short, it only lasts for 10 minutes

but I'm happy that we're together

and that we've become closer

Do you know that eight or ten people ride this cable car?

But I didn't like that, I paid for the empty seats

So we'd be comfortable, I know you hate noise and crowds

Who said so? I'm very social I love noise and crowds and shouting

- Really? - Yes

Idiot!

I don't know if they'd refund me or not

Dr. Rabea, please

I know you made a deal with the man and paid for two tickets only

So stop

You...

- What do you mean he left? - I don't know, Sir

He cleared his room and checked out from the hotel

By the way, this gentleman was with him you carried his bags, right?

- Right - You knew he left, idiot?

Sure, Kabeer Mr. Johnny tells me everything

Shame, he didn't get to see my matching outfit

Why didn't you tell me, stupid brick?

You saw me breaking the man's bones and hitting him and you helped me

How would I know, Kabeer? You were yelling "thief"

- and I thought I'd help out - Damn you

I beg you, Sir, bring the man so we can apologize to him

Don't worry, Sir He doesn't want to see you at all

But the only apology he'd accept is if you paid for his stay at the hotel

He's staying for a week or 10 days and you'd cover that

You're paying the bill for the damages of the fire you caused

Of course, you have to pay or you'll be in so much of trouble

and in that case, we'll be forced to seize the bags and Mr. Hagras...

Seize who and what bags? Do you know who you're talking to?

You think I'm simple because of this hat?

Listen carefully, this is Al Mazareeta's mayor

He's so wealthy he could buy you and your hotel

Tell him, Hadyea He doesn't have a clue

It's fine, Kabeer, he doesn't know your might

Okay, Sir, no problem You'll pay the bill then

We will, why wouldn't we?

- Here, Sir - Pay the bill, I mean...

- Hadeya - Yes

Get my wallet from the bag

- Hadeya, dear - Yes

Tell you what, baby Go upstairs to our room

- The safe, four twos - Yes

- Get my Visa card - Okay

- Bring all the Visa cards - Okay

And any money you could find

- Hadeya - Yes

Did you bring the old bracelet...

- the wedding gift - I did, dear

- The one with the red eyes - I brought it

Good, bring it with you too

Okay

Subtitled by: eArabization