All language subtitles for s4 ep 24

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home
and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass
and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire
clapping, and ululations"

- "I am Al Kabeer"
- "He is Al Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power
and an army of 3000 men"

"A hundred times stronger than a bear
I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle
sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together
and you will have Al Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix"
- "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid
not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough,
rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer
and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid"
- "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people
no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter
if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars,
illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me
or they will disappear"

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country
like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor
please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me
one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean
while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic
if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem
50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap
to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull
and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, Al Kabeer"
- "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight
and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me
no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge
I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter
when you eat it after chocolate"

"End of story!"

"Boy!"

"Episode 24"

Please take care of the kids, Baazaq

Don't worry, Mrs. Hadeya
I'll guard them both with my life

- But who are those kids?
- My kids, boy!

Don't make me regret
asking you for this

Do you know
where you're taking them?

Of course, Mrs. Hadeya
I'm not an idiot

I'll take them to Haj Sanosi
Your aunt's husband

You deliver them
only to my aunt Jawaher

- and nobody else, okay?
- Okay

Tell her we'll be away for a week

and that I'll send
for the kids when I get back

Make sure to tell her not to let Uncle Sanosi
play with them, He's a little crazy

- I can't allow him near my kids
- Of course not

- He's a stupid and stubborn man
- What's wrong with you?

Are you crazy?
You're badmouthing my aunt's husband?

- You said so
- I can do that, but you can't

- Come on, get lost now
- Okay

Wait, Baazaq

I'll miss you, kids
Take care of each other

Hurry up!
My head is melting in the sun!

- Shut up, boy, Come on, leave
- Okay

I'll see you soon
May God protect you

Damn!

Al Mazareeta must win
the Noble Prize in heat

It's okay, Mr. Johnny

In a few days, we'll leave
this heat and all its troubles behind

- and go on a summer vacation
- Who's going on a vacation?

We are, you, Al Kabeer and I
Al Kabeer made reservations for us

- Where did he make reservations?
- Just like every year

Forget it, I'm not going

- Why not, Mr. Johnny?
- You're asking why? Are you crazy?

I'll never go
through the same experience again

I saw there
what I'd never see in my life again

Why? What happened?

Johnny, look what I caught!
A jellyfish, Johnny

I think it's a female, it has eggs
It has eggs, Johnny

Why would I care if the jellyfish is a male
or a female Or if it has eggs? I don't care

And he was holding the jellyfish
and playing with it like a pet

as if it were a Persian cat

No, Mr. Johnny, don't look down
upon God's gifts

- It actually tastes really good
- Oh my God! What tastes good?

- Do you eat jellyfish?
- Of course, isn't it a type of squid?

Squid? How can you people
eat jellyfish? It's poisonous

No, it's not, it stings a bit
you wouldn't tolerate it

but if you add to it some lemon
it becomes so delicious

Who is the moron who told you
that jellyfish was a type of squid?

Al Kabeer

I'm not going with you
You all are so weird

Don't be so stubborn, Mr. Johnny
On vacations, the more the merrier

Can't we go
for a vacation anywhere else?

Tell me, is there any other place
but Jamasah and Baltim?

Yes, there are plenty of places

Sharm, Ras Shitan, Al Sokhna
El Gouna, Hurghada, Dahab

By the way, whenever a tourist
visits one of these places, only once

they're bound to come back again

Exactly, as you say, tourists

but we, as Egyptians

- Are not allowed to go there
- Who is the fool who told you

- Egyptians are not allowed to go there?
- Al Kabeer

Oh my God

He's fooling you
he's brainwashing you, Hadeya

He gives you jellyfish for squid

And says we can't enter
these nice places

I feel sorry for you

Listen, ask Al Kabeer
to cancel the reservation

I'll book your vacation
in a nice place

Cancel the reservation? Why?

I had tough time finding us rooms
in Umm Kulthum Hotel

Mr. Johnny will take care of it

and book us rooms
in Sharm, Hurghada or Sokhna

Why would we go
to such silly places?

We have always spent
our summer vacations in one place

Mr. Johnny didn't like it last year
and said he wouldn't go there again

He can get lost
We can't follow his mood

It's okay, it'll be a good change

Do you know, woman? Do you know
these places he's talking about?

Add to your knowledge this new book...
I mean this new piece of information

They charge in dollars... dollars

He might be able to get a good offer
Let's wait till he gets back

- And listen to what he says
- Okay, if it's a good offer I won't mind

- Where are the kids?
- I sent them to Aunt Jawaher

Have you lost your mind?
Isn't she the woman who keeps dying

No, that's Aunt Ghawayesh
This one is Aunt Jawaher

What a treasure I have!

Surprise!

- How are you, Kabeer?
- I'm okay

I found you a great offer
in Porto Sokhna

- What offer is that?
- Listen

Residence for a week
including breakfast, lunch and dinner

private beach, snorkeling and safari

- Surely, it costs an arm and a leg
- I'll do you a favor, Kabeer

It seems that money is a bit tight
- I'll invite you and Hadeya

- Really, Mr. Johnny?
- No, wait, woman, wait

I know him very well
He's all just talk and lies

Is that your email password?

What password?
He means your sign-in code

I know you are a rascal, You talk a lot,
make false promises and then you disappear

Listen, Kabeer, I understand you

Up until now, you never got
the chance to know the real Johnny

The Johnny you know is fake

May God protect you
you look much better

All thanks to you, Doctor

- Aunt Samantha must come with us on this rip
- Which trip?

Mr. Johnny got us
an offer in Porto Sokhna

He says it's a great offer

Excellent

This will help her a lot
both physically and mentally

- Please, Aunt, come with us
- What makes you think

that I haven't thought about that?
Sam is coming with us by all means

And Ashraf, let's take Ashraf with us

We'll definitely need him
he's my right-hand man

In case we need anything
or if someone drowns, he can save him

- Okay, he can come
- And Baazaq

He'll be as sweet as a summer breeze

What? You're taking advantage
of my invitation because it's free

I already made plans to invite
Sam, you, Hadeya, Ashraf and Hagras

Hagras, why are we taking
this boy with us?

I gave him my word, I can't...
I'm the one paying for that, not you

- Okay, problem solved
- What does that have to do with you?

Why are you standing here anyway?
Get out, out!

No, no, no, he's my doctor

It's okay, Madam, he's right
I'm sorry, I'll show myself out

But he has
every right to bring Hagras

because he's the one paying for it
You're bringing Baazaq, Ashraf and...

Okay

- See you, man
- See you, goodbye

Kabeer, we could've taken
the car with Johnny

instead of sitting
here in this scorching heat

With Johnny? Do you know
what his car is like? It's filthy

It's full trash, cigarette butts
creased rolling paper

and Digestive biscuit crumbs
it's so strange

and he keeps hitting speed bumps

Had we travelled with him
we would've vomited all over each other

Also, he wanted to get a head start

in order to confirm
reservation and pay the money

The trip is more enjoyable on the bus
because we can all ride together

You're so sweet, Hadeya

Look! Isn't that Dr. Rabea?

- Thank you so much
- Be careful, Doctor

- There you go
- I charge a pound for the ride

- What?
- I charge a pound for the ride

Are you going to make a fuss over it?
It's not like I'm riding a Limo

I remember you well, boy

Didn't I remove your appendix?
You still owe me half a pound

- You still remember? You're so stingy
- Yes

- Come on, get lost
- Have a safe ride

I can't believe this
What a nice surprise!

- Ashroof!
- Doctor!

Tell me, are you all here
to bid me farewell or what?

No! Don't say it!
Are we travelling together?

Are you a fool?
Or are you trying to fool us?

You know we're travelling
You heard us talking about it

Yes, I did, but I didn't know
that we were travelling at the same time

What a weird coincidence!
The same moment!

And is it also a coincidence
that he's staying with us at Porto?

No, no, you're not doing me justice

I'm going to Skhona, indeed
but I'm not staying at Porto

Me and 12 of my friends

they are also doctors
but they graduated with distinction

We rented a mountain flat
with a brilliant view

I know that type of flats
They are usually suspicious

They usually have filthy old carpets
People put out their cigarettes

In cups of tea lattes and sleep
with their feet facing each other's' faces

- and they smell like dirty socks
- You talk as if you were with me

- when I rented the flat
- Damn you

But really, Dr. Rabea
it's such a lovely coincidence

We have to meet up there
and go out together

Are you kidding? Of course
we'll meet up all the time

I've arranged a great program
to guarantee we stay together all the time

Do you want to drive me crazy?
You said it was a coincidence

- yet you managed to arrange a program
- Doctor...

Where are the kids and their mother?
Won't they travel with you?

No, Madam Hadeya
Do you take me for a selfish father?

They surely are
My wife will spend the summer

- With her mother in Tanta
- What? Does Tanat have a beach?

No, but it has Meshabek
do you want some?

Oh my!

- He's so funny!
- You're such a comedian!

Listen, Hadeya, since it's going to be
a fun trip, filled with joy and humor

and private jokes, these are the ones
you tell and laugh at on your own

and people laugh with you
only to humor you

so you end up thinking
you are a comedian

Kabeer, please, man
people might get jealous of me

Please, stop that

He's so hilarious
He makes me laugh

Madam Hadeya, what's the meaning
of "hilarious"? Is she swearing at me?

She means you
are doing fantastic stuff

- Fantastic? Okay, fantastic, true
- God damn you

Gentlemen, bus number 8
travelling to Porto has just arrived

Let's go

Wait, Ashraf, leave the luggage
The doctor will take them to the bus

- What is this?
- Come on!

As you wish

You too

- Good afternoon
- Good afternoon

- What is this?
- Your welcome drink, Sir

- What does that mean? Is it alcoholic?
- No, Sir, it's fresh juice

So it doesn't have
not even 1% of alcohol?

- No, Sir, we don't offer alcohol here
- Okay, put it down

- Wait, how much is this?
- It's free, Sir

Free! Put it down
Leave the whole tray

and go get us some more

- There you go, Hadeya, Have a drink, Mother
- Here you go, Mother-in-Law

- Have a drink, Mother
- Thank you, Hadeya

Oh my God!

How gorgeous are they!

- What are you doing, Al Kabeer?
- I'm not doing anything

- I saw you staring at foreign women
- Like father like son

Are you going to make a fuss
over this? Just for the heck of it

It's nothing, I was just giving
the foreigners some compliment

They are tourists, we should talk nicely
to them, because tourism is now...

is now...

as sweet as milk and honey

Listen, Kabeer, if you don't behave yourself
I'll ruin the whole trip for you

Fine, woman, fine
I'll just sit like this, drink up!

I don't want to hear
any complaints from any guests

Don't forget to... Go

Stop looking at it, Kabeer
I told you what it is

Welcome, welcome

- it's so good to have you here at Porto
- Hello

- I'm Omar Salah
- Yes, I know that

I watch you on
CBC, which program?

- Minute to Minute
- Yes, true, I watch it all the time

No, Sir, I'm Omar Salah
the Vice Manager of the hotel

He's just an employee here

But you're absolutely right
Many people mix me up with someone else

like George Kordahi
Omar Sharif, Ali Sharif...

Don't get too excited, and stop boasting

Don't make me
regret saying that

- You're mostly welcome
- Thank you

In brief
we've just arrived from Upper Egypt

And we're exhausted, We want to go to our
rooms, They brought us something to drink

- What is this juice?
- It's a special juice, Sir

- Special? See, woman?
- Yes

You thought it was taro juice

- Stop talking nonsense
- Fine

- We want to go to our rooms
- Of course, Sir

I'll call the bellman
immediately

But before you go to your room
we need you to make a small payment

in order to book the room

- it's just a prepayment
- What?

Hasn't Johnny paid anything?

No, Sir, he hasn't, Actually,
we were about to cancel your reservation

but then we had the pleasure
of your arrival, Sir, You're most welcome

Thank you
Excuse me, I just have a question

- Please
- Why are you smiling widely like this?

Why are you smiling like that all the time?
You don't know me

And you were about to cancel my reservation
And I know you hate me, I can feel it

I can feel your negative vibes
using the words of sissy kids

No, Sir, this is our first rule here
We should smile to all guests

Sometimes we loathe the guest
or the job, Sir, but we have to smile

Aren't you a guest?

What do you mean by "guest"?
Does it mean "luck"?

Guest means a resident, Sir

Resident? Yes, of course
They are all guests

You're most welcome, Sir
Can you now make a small payment for...

- Just a minute
- Of course

Hello, Johnny, where are you, boy?

Listen, unfortunately, I still need
four hours, minimum, to get to Porto

I encountered strange things, Kabeer If
I tell you about them you'll think I'm lying

I had a flat tire on the way
Then, a group of men in kaftans

started shooting at
us with machine guns

Of course, Hagras ran away
but I brought him back in the car

You know me, I have great skills
in driving and maneuvering

I managed to escape
but we encountered some losses

The fuel tank got punctured
I need at least 7 hours to repair it

Do you need anything, Kabeer?

- There's a guy with a silly smile
- Omar Salah, Sir

Fine, his name is Omar
He keeps smiling to everyone

- Go and smile that way, go there!
- You're most welcome

- He wants money, Why didn't you pay him?
- Pay him, Kabeer

Didn't you say you were going
to take care of everything?

I've encountered some problems, Give him
the money and I'll pay you back later

- I won't pay anything
- As you wish

Gather everybody along with Ashraf
wear some sunblock

and get some tan near the hotel while
I get there, I need seven hours, minimum

Pay him, Kabeer! Give him the money
and I'll pay you back, I'm not a thief

You know I am an honest man
Please make sure you keep the receipts

I want to pay back
every penny I owe you

What's that?
Kabeer, there's a checkpoint ahead of us

Talk to you later
Hagras, throw away the joint

What's wrong?
What are you doing?

I'm looking at you with disgust

Yes, I can see that, But you've repeated it
seven times, People normally do it just ones

Why are you looking at me like that?

Honestly, Mr. Johnny
I didn't know you were like that

Like what?

- Excuse the language, a sissy!
- What?

What? What?

You're calling me a sissy? Why?

- It's not me who's saying that
- Then who?

It's your own behavior

What is wrong
with my behavior, Mr. Hagras?

First, you lied to Kabeer
and told him we were still very far

while we are at Porto

Second, you pushed
him to pay the costs

although you promised him
to pay for everything

Okay...

Tell me, Mr. Hagras
Hagras Pasha

You spoiled boy
ever since we started the journey

have you paid one penny, you filthy man?

Even when you got hungry
you said you wanted to eat Lambada

Lambada biscuits, which I bought

and you ate heartily
You ate it like a beast

and filled the car with crumbs
like you do in your own home

- I didn't say a word, Who's the sissy now?
- It's okay, Mr. Johnny

- Answer me, who's the sissy now?
- It's okay, Mr. Johnny

- Get off the car
- Why? Mr. Johnny

Because I'm a sissy, I force my friends
out of my car, I'm a rascal, get off!

- No, being a sissy is not bad
- Yes, it is, I'm a sissy

- I'm also a sissy
- No, I'm the sissy

I'll tell you what

How about we tell Al Kabeer today
that we're going to invite him for fish?

We get to the restaurant
we order plenty of fish

and invite everyone around
Then, we sneak out

Pretending that we're going
to wash our hands

We wash our hands and run

- Guess what?
- What?

I like

What a devilish idea!
You know what we can do as well?

- What?
- When we're in the bathroom

There's usually a small boy
who provides tissues

He listens to you and everything you do, He
embarrasses you and causes you constipation

Do you know him?
We can take him with us, kidnap him

- Why?
- To bring him up to be like us

To think like us
and be a sissy like us

We can increase the number of sissies
And become a huge community of sissies

Seriously, Johnny, I'm really mad at you

for what you did

I don't know what to say

It was an accident, It was against my will
The car crashed

I wouldn't intentionally cause
Al Kabeer such trouble

Who says I'm mad because of that? I am mad
because of something completely different

because you didn't take me with you

You can't imagine
what they did to me on the bus

how embarrassing it was

It's okay, I can imagine, I imagine that
That's why I disappeared

- Where are they, anyway?
- I've just talked to her

- You know what she said?
- What?

She said "I'll hang out the laundry
to dry and get down, Mother-in-Law"

- Hang out the laundry?
- Yes

I asked her to drop their clothes
at the laundromat in the hotel

She said "Why waste our money?"
and then said a very weird word

- She said "Am I kattaa?"
- "Kattaa"?

Unbelievable!

Listen, do as I do
We're only here for a few days

They'll pass anyway...

- Oh my God!
- What a disaster!

Pretend that you don't know them
we're not here, try to hide

What's wrong with you, Sissy?
What have you done?

What have I done?
What are all you wearing?

- What's wrong with our clothes?
- Al Kabeer, wake up!

Isn't that the t-shirt
of 1990 Italy World Cup?

- Right?
- Yes, it is

We are in 2014
2014, you awful man!

So what? It's a classical T-shirt

Also, this is one of the most important
T-shirts that I have

It reminds me of a special occasion
Yes, it's a bit torn, but that's okay

- I can't go on a vacation without it
- Come on, let's have breakfast

- And be done with it, come on
- Won't the waiter come to take our orders?

This hotel is awful!

The hotel is not awful
Hadeya, you are just ignorant

Food here is served
in an open buffet

You mean they don't serve
eggs, onions, and old cheese?

How stupid are you, Ashraf?
Auntie says open buffet

This mean butter
jam and a baguette

So what should we do now?
Will they distribute meals among us?

- Waiters! Waiters!
- Stop it, woman! You're making a scene

What's wrong with you?
You're acting like beasts!

Forgive us, Mother

They're ignorant

Haven't you been
to prestigious hotels before?

Open buffet means
that you remain seated

then someone calls out your name

You give him a coupon
and he... The coupon!

Where is the coupon manager? Couponist!

- I need coupons!
- Stop! Stop!

I'll explain what an open buffet is

Open Buffet for Dummies

It means a large table
that serves all different types of food

When you feel hungry
you fill your plate, and eat

If you're still hungry
you can refill your plate, full stop

There is too much food here
We're bound to throw it away

Throw what? We'll eat
all of it and finish it up

There are so many things
we can do on a vacation other than eating

- We can swim in the pool or have a tan
- Just a minute, Mr. Johnny

I'll have another bowl of Balilah
I'll eat it and then we can go

What bowl of Balilah, moron!
This is chicken and mushroom soup

- It's a soup!
- Soup!

- Now I know why it tastes funny
- Are you mentally-depraved, boy?

Apart from that fact
that you took soup for Balileh

You were going to get another bowl
even though it tasted funny?

- I thought it was Balilah
- What a beast!

You should spend your vacation
in a canal in the countryside

Ashraf! Are you suckling, Ashraf?

- I'm trying to swallow food
- How embarrassing! Come on, eat up!

Wait, wait, we need
to find your brother first

Uncle Ashraf! Stop it!
Where is Al Kabeer?

- In the open buffet
- We're all in the open buffet

He's sitting in the open buffet

That's it

- Please, Sir, you can't sit here
- Why not? I'm okay with it

- Why are you so upset about it?
- I'm not upset, but the guests are

No, no, nobody is upset

Whenever someone needs anything
I can pass it over, it's fine

You can sit at your table, Sir
and I'll get you everything you want

Listen to me, brother

I'm not accustomed to corn flakes
petit pain and stuff like that

I must eat beans
aubergine, and onions

That's what I have for breakfast

Instead of standing like that
go get me 12 loafs of Shami bread

Leave me alone, man
Are you going to take a photo of me?

Unbelievable! And you, Hadeya
come on, hurry up

I ran out of butter, Kabeer
Please ask him to bring us butter

Chief! There's no more butter

How many eggs
have you fried so far?

- About 6
- Only! have you lost your mind?

Their frying pan is so small
Haj, please bring us another pan

Bring a larger one, I told you
we should've brought our own frying pan

Do you want us
to travel with our pans, Hadeya?

Subtitled by: eArabization