Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am Al Kabeer" - "He is Al Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men"

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have Al Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear"

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, Al Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

"End of story!"

"Boy!"

"Episode 23"

Adelo!

Mr. Johnny! Welcome

Why are you playing 4 songs simultaneously? Are you in a hurry?

- No, Mr. Johnny, it's just one song - Is it just one song?

Yes, it's by El Madfaagya!

- El Madfaagya, Mr. Johnny - Did the army compose a song?

No, what army, Mr. Johnny? It's a band called El Madfaagya, It includes

Shendi, Diezel, Dolsika...

and Elseweasy, El Madfaagya!

- "I'll give you in the park" Mr. Johnny - Why don't you show some respect?

"I'll give you up the roof I'll give you on the floor"

Again? I'll beat the hell out of you!

Mr. Johnny! Adelo! Have you lost your mind? Why did you upset Mr. Johnny?

I didn't do anything, Hagras He just started beating me up

It's only because he hasn't heard of El Madfaagya before

- Really, You haven't heard of El Madfaagya? - Who are they?

"I'll give you in the middle of the street I'll give you because I'm good"

- You are both trying to make fun of me! - What's wrong, Mr. Johnny?

- Just because I'm half-Egyptian - These are the lyrics used in festivals

"I'll give you" "I'll give you in total"

What does that mean? I can't understand it

Is this the first time you listen to festivals?

What do you mean by listening to festivals? You attend a festival

I just attended the last Cinema festival

Saying "listen to festivals" is like saying "eating Mac"

- Instead of "Eating at Mac" - Mr. Johnny, I said "listen to festivals"

- I know exactly what I'm saying - Are you going to snap at me?

- Talk to me clearly - You misunderstand me, Mr. Johnny

What I mean is folkloric festivals

- Etihad Al Qima, Al Sadat, 50 - 50 Cent?

- Alaa Fifty - Alaa Fifty?

Oka and Ortega, Diezel and Elseweasy

"Elseweasy"

"Elseweasy"

"Some people truly love you and others push you towards evil"

I don't understand anything You're driving me insane, What's happening?

- Wait! Ortega? - Yes

- The Argentinian footballer? - Ortega, Mr. Johnny, who sings

"My beloved is wearing a hat and tied a ribbon around her neck"

"She's eating a piece of chocolate and drinking mango with a straw"

What is this nonsense? How can you drink mango with a straw

- It'd get clogged - Only if it is sliced, not juiced

Oh my God! Oh my God!

I'm talking to the king of mango, Farghali

How silly you both are! I'm leaving

Listening to festivals!

"I listen to festivals, and I eat Mac"

"Elseweasy"

"Elseweasy"

"I'll give you..." "I'll give you..."

What's this?

- What are you listening to, Mr. Johnny? - El Madfaagya

I know that, I thought you said you'd never listen to their music

I said that in a moment of anger

But after I came back home and drank some sparkling water

It was cold and refreshing I calmed down

And when I calmed down Curiosity took the best of me

I opened their page on YouTube

And I discovered that they had so many fans

Once you listen to them you'll like them, I told you so

That's why I hated them at first because you said so

Whatever you say turns out to be wrong

- How about this one? - A mistake, call it coincidence

So you intend to keep listening to their music, Mr. Johnny?

Listen to their music? I intend to sing festivals

How would you do that?

Listen, it didn't turn out to be that tough

You can write rude and funny lyrics

with similar words, to a certain extent

and match them with the default tune that they use in all their songs

And for your voice, use auto-tune

- What do you mean by "autotuce"? - What "autotuce"? It's auto-tune

I'll tell you like what Do you remember when we were young

there used to be a cartoon character

that looked like a fried sticky brain

It used to be inside the stomach of a muscular man

- He used to appear in Ninja Turtles - Yes

- His name was... Krang - Yes

He used to say "I'll turn you into turtle soup"

That's true, but, don't you think that this needs a man with talent?

- An artist - Don't you know who I am?

I'm a Hollywood star

- Yes, but you're an actor, Mr. Johnny - They both involve recitation, Hagras

The thing is...

It doesn't really need talent It needs a sense of giving

You have to be generous you know why?

The whole thing is based on giving something to get a reaction

I give you something to make you do something For example, I give you a cigarette

so you go down the street I give you a missed call

- so you meet me in the hall - That's absolutely right, Mr. Johnny

Since that's the case I'm going to sing with you

That won't work, Hagras

- This requires talent - You've just said talent isn't important

You have to be generous and I am generous

Who is the generous one here? Who gave you this T-shirt?

God

And who was inspired by God to give you the T-shirt?

You were, Mr. Johnny

- Who gave you these trousers? - You did, Mr. Johnny

That's it, I am the generous one

That's not a problem I can give these clothes to my cousins

- and then I can be generous - No, then, you will be naked

and fake as well

It's okay, don't be sad I don't want to upset you

We shared food and good times

I'll make you my assistant

Thank you, Mr. Johnny

But when you become successful you will allow me to sing with you

Just like how Oka and Ortega brought Shehtah to sing with them

Whatever

Have you thought of a new nickname for yourself?

Why would I use a nickname I already have a name, What is my name?

- Mr. Johnny - Exactly, but I will modify it a little

Instead of using "Mr." I'll use the letter "C" only

- C-Johnny, swag! - But that's not a nice name, Mr. Johnny

- It's kind of soft - What?

I'm not talking about you but about the name

Also, stars must have nicknames that give a sense of prestige

All stars have that, George Wasouf, for example, what is his nickname?

The Sultan of Music, Abdul Haleem Hafez is called the Dark Nightingale

Soad Hosni is Cinderella

Ahmad Al Saqa is the Knight

- Hind Sabri is a Piece of Candy - What?

- Who is called a Piece of Candy? - Hind Sabri

- What a shame! - Why is that?

The name is taken, I've lost it

It was the most suitable name for my character

You can use Cheesecake It is not taken

Of course it's not taken and it will not be taken

- Why? - What a stupid idea!

Mixing sweet and savory tastes together

Somebody interfered in an attempt to ruin natural tastes

I want something natural and pure Something that was never touched before

Primitive

- I got it - What?

- I'll call myself The Hill - That's Amr Diab's nickname

- The Mountain - That would be Mohammad Fouad

- Al Sakhra - He's Wael Jomaa

- It's also the nickname of a wrestler - That wrestler is called The Rock

It is translated as Al Sakhra

- The Plain - What does that mean?

It's the flat green land located between two mountains

- Why is it flat? - Because it's dull and boring

It shows no emotions whatsoever

- Flat means smooth and even - I don't like it, Mr. Johnny

Why not? You just like to object

Mr. Johnny, if people start calling you Plain They might take you for...

For what? For what?

For a simple man, because you're plain

That's a good point

You see how brainstorming gives you unexpected results?

Okay, listen, we have at least reached a common ground

We both agree that my nickname must be taken from nature

But it must be something related to sounds

because I'm going to be a singer

Give me a natural phenomenon

that makes a sound and is still primitive and untouched by man

- It must have a loud roaring sound - Sami Al Adel

No, not a man, I want a phenomenon that God created with a roaring sound

- Yousef Shaban? - I don't want the name of a man

I want a natural phenomenon created by God, not the name of a man

- I got it! - What?

- Layering - Layering!

You don't create any sounds with it

You just wear layers and that's it

No, no. Mr. Johnny the light that flashes in the sky

- Lightning? - Yes, that's it

But it still doesn't have its own sound It's a phenomenon

accompanied by a sound that carries a different name

- What's the name of that sound? - Thunder

Oh! That's nice, see? Thunder

It's an impressive name, that's it from now on your name is Thunder

And your slogan will be "I hear Thunder in your ears"

Damn!

That's hot! I like it

- When will you work on the song? - Right now, let's do this shit

You know what, Hagras?

If this song is successful I'll start relying on you a lot

Being a star's assistant is a very difficult job

Why is it difficult? What does it involve, anyway?

It involves a lot of things You have to tidy my clothes

You have to prepare my drinks

You have to drive my car

You have to protect me from my fans

Why? Would your fans want cause you any harm?

What are you saying, moron? Of course not

But since we're living in the Middle East, you know

Someone might chase you for an autograph

or want to take a photograph with you

or want to harass you that sort of thing

Okay, I understand, Mr. Johnny

You want me to act like Kevin Castor in his movie The Bodyduard

Castor? The Bodyduard?

- Is that your password or what? - When he tries to protect a singer

- and falls in love with her eventually - Exactly! I want you to protect me

but don't fall in love with me eventually

- That won't be the case, Mr. Johnny - Thank God

- I am already in love with you - Oh my God!

Anyway, Mr. Johnny is the song making any success?

I can't tell now, you know we only uploaded it last night

We have to wait for two or three weeks to be able to determine its success

How will you determine that? Does success have standards?

Don't use words haphazardly You are an idiot

you don't even understand what you say What do you mean by the standards of success?

Did you read that in a magazine at the barbershop? Or hear it in a talk show?

The standards of success in this case are like this

When you watch a video you'll find a number under it

It shows the number of people who watched this video

If it exceed 100 thousand views in the first week

that means it's very successful

- Okay, and how many views did it get so far? - I haven't checked

- it probably hasn't got anything yet - Why don't you enter and check?

- Enter where? - Enter the internet

can't you enter via your mobile phone?

- Yes, I can "enter" via my mobile phone - Enter then, let's not keep guessing

What a language you use! I will "enter" the internet

Why do you use verbs... Oh my God!

What's wrong? They banned the song for political reasons

- I knew this was going to happen - Shut up, moron! Stop babbling

The song got 500 thousand views!

Praise be to God! 500 thousand views!

How much is that in Egyptian pounds, Mr. Johnny?

- Praise be to God! - You made us proud, Mr. Johnny

Thank you, everybody

Honestly...

I myself, Johnny couldn't imagine that the song

would become so famous in such a short period of time

What do you mean by famous? This song has become a huge hit

You know what? I have some cousins in nearby villages

They know that we are close friends Yes, honestly

They want to come here to take photos with you and listen to you singing live

Have you lost your mind? Do you think it's that easy?

Mr. Johnny is a big star and he has a serious assistant

No, Hagras, it's okay

I want to play the role of a humble star

No, Mr. Johnny Never be humble with such people, I know them well

Now, they'll start asking for your autograph

and they'll ask to take photos with you

They'll drive you crazy with vertical and horizontal photos, and sefties

Sefties! You're talking gibberish!

Whatever, Mr. Johnny

Listen to me, I want you to understand one thing

Mr. Johnny is not like any other star His fans won't find it easy to reach him

Especially with Hagras being his assistant

But don't worry, Mr. Johnny will treat you like stars treat their fans

He'll charge five pounds for a photograph

and a pound for an autograph Who would like one?

- I want to take a photo with you Mr. Johnny - One photo for him

- I want to take a photo with you - How much are these?

- 50 pence - Get out of here

I want a photo, here are my five pounds

- One photo for Shamandeh - I want two photos and two autographs

- Two photos and two autographs - Excuse me, gentlemen

I want to take Mr. Johnny back home

to take ten photos with the kids

Honestly, Mr. Hindawi, we charge 90 pounds for such a journey, But for your sake

we'll charge you 50 pounds only We'll visit you this evening

What's wrong with you, moron?

You treat me like a piece of property right before my eyes!

- How thoughtless are you? - Mr. Johnny...

- It's alright, we're okay with it - But I'm not okay with it

I'll tell you right now in your accent so you understand me

I'm okay not with it

Not okay! I don't know why you place the negative at the end

But I'm okay not with it I would never charge my own people

Do you mean we can take photos with you for free?

- Of course - You brought tears to my eyes

I want to teek a photo with you Mr. Johnny

Of course... "teek"? Is that the past participle of "take"?

No, he means "take" but he has these things here

Oh my God! Come here, my dear Let's "teek" a photo

I swear to God, I won't allow anyone to take a photo before I do

And I swear no one shall take a photo with him before I do

Shut up, all of you!

Because of this barbaric and uncivilized behavior of yours

I won't allow anyone to take any photos End of story

What's wrong with you, Hagras? Do you think yourself man enough to stand against us?

I am man enough, and I can stand against you and your families

Run, Mr. Johnny, run!

Hit him, come on, hit him

- Hello - Good morning, you star of stars

the thunder of folkloric music

Isn't that the star of stars Johnny the Thunder?

- Yes, who's speaking? - I am Reda Shahiasah

the oldest festival organizer and star-maker, you star

- How did you get my number? - Don't you know who I am?

I can get you anywhere

Anyway, in brief, I'd like to visit you in the evening at night

to sit and have a chat Is that okay, star?

- We'll only have a cup of tea - Sure, but I live a bit far from you

It doesn't matter, we'll go to the end of the earth for you

- Just give me the address - Okay, I'll send it in a message

Great, I'll be there at 10 in the evening at the latest

- Amen? - Who's Amen, I'm Johnny

No, please focus, Amen means okay, agreed, done...

- I'll take the last option, done - Okay, I'll see you in the evening, bye

Okay, bye

- Hagras - Yes, Mr. Johnny

When you're done with all the beating up come and see me in the house

- I'll be waiting for you - Okay, Mr. Johnny, I will

Forgive me, star, I'm slurping

- It's a pleasure to meet you - Same here, man

Excellent, this is the exact type and style I've been looking for

- Really? - So original!

By the way, you look just like what I imagined

But there are few things missing I imagined you wearing Texas boots

with a ponytail and arms covered with tattoos

- and riding a Harley - Listen, dear, I'll cut to the chase

I've listened to your song and I really liked it

It's fun and has dancing rhythm and beat

It has the qualities of street music and that's what I like

I'm old and experienced

- But it lacks one thing - What does it lack?

- We have to add vibes and make you shine - You're going to cover me with oil?

Who said anything about oil and plastic? Listen to me, Star

I want to make you famous I'll make you the star of all festivals

Imbaba, Al Haram, Faisal, Street Number 10

But you have to listen to me and do as I say

- Deal - What does that mean?

It means let's do that shit!

No, don't lose your temper with me we've just started working together

- Okay - Okay?

You're on such a high level

You're really something really something

- I'll get you dressed - How rude are you!

You want to get me dressed and you don't even know me

What I mean is that I'll get you a stylist to help you dress fashionably

If that's the case, okay

Since you're so cooperative I'll tell you what I have in mind

If you can use weapons or stab one of the guys from 8% or El Madfaagya

- it'll be a huge hit on the news - Are you crazy?

You want me to stab someone and make him bleed?

- I just want to sing peacefully - No, this behavior won't work

This job requires ruthlessness Listen to me I'm old and experienced

This job requires ruthlessness The audience likes tough guys

and you, pardon me, with your name you rings and your braided hair

- they can eat you alive - What should I do now?

Listen, I'll train you and make you aggressive

Aggressive? Why don't you crop my ears as well?

Do you take me for a Doberman?

I'll make you and your song famous

No, no, I beg your pardon You are here, to begin with

because it is already famous Go to YouTube and search it

See how many people have already watched it 700 thousand people perhaps even more now

- What? 700 what? - On the internet

What internet and shit are you talking about? This is no longer valid

You find work and stardom in street weddings

- This is the first step to stardom - I'm not against folkloric weddings

I like actually them I find them funny and cool

But I aspire to sing in a concert

Something like...

Do you remember the concerts of Pink Floyd? When they used to play with lighting

Do you remember Michael Jackson's concert in Bucharest?

It's clear, from the way you dress that you're a fan of Michael Jackson

- Do you remember Jam? - I'll tell you one thing

This Michael Jackson who you greatly love and admire

He is my protégé I'm the one who made him

- This is a very big lie - It seems you don't want to be a star

- Yes, I want to be a star - Then you have to saksak to me

- What does 'saksak' mean? - Don't you speak Egyptian?

- I thought it was Thai - Please stay focused

I want you to be prepared

- Prepared for what? - For stardom, Star

"Come on all Salute the groom"

"Salute the groom Salute the groom"

"Rock the house it's all so good"

"Rock the house it's all so good"

"Rock the house"

"We're rocking the house We're rocking the house"

"Let's set this wedding on fire"

"Come on"

"Come on, let's set this wedding on fire"

"Throw your hands in the air"

"It's on fire, it's on fire"

"It's on fire, it's on fire, It's on fire"

"The bride and the bridegroom The bride and the bridegroom"

"The mayor, the mayor, the mayor"

"Clap for him, celebrate him"

"Clap for him, he's a knight"

"Clap for him, he's a knight"

"Clap for him, celebrate him"

"Wait... wait... wait"

"Let's talk slowly, Uncle"

"Wait, wait, Thunder is here"

I repeat, Thunder is here

And since Thunder is here let the kids stay at home

- Introduce our star - Throw your hands in the air

Thunder is here!

"Thunder is here Thunder is here"

"Here's Thunder Here's Thunder"

"Come here, Thunder Come here, Thunder"

"Come here, Thunder Come here, Thunder"

"Here's Thunder Throw your hands in the air"

"Scream"

"Here's Thunder Here's Thunder"

"Here's Thunder Here's Thunder"

"Here's Thunder"

"Here's Thunder"

"Here's Thunder"

Wait, wait, wait

Wait

Hi, everybody

Actually, basically...

Even though I feel like Alice in Wonderful

But I want to perform something for you

We're going to perform today a new type of music

I've just composed it the day before yesterday

- I can announce today the birth... - Star, we're not in a hospital

- Be brief, please - Sorry, sorry

Everybody... 3, 2,1

"What happened to your oaths and your love for me, my dear?"

Say it loud

"Yeah"

"Everybody wants to know what's my name"

"Ali Al Sharawal what's my name"

"Say everybody wants to know what's my name"

"Take it easy What's your name, Fool?"

"It doesn't matter what my name is What matters is what I'll give you"

- "Give them" - "I'll give you on the bench"

"I'll give you on the stairs"

"I'll give you everywhere I'll give you and you'll take"

"I'll give you in the gym making all people talk"

"I'll give you, I'll give you I'll give you, in total"

"Take this"

"Let's do this shit"

- "Give him" - "I'll keep on giving you"

"I'll keep on giving you"

"I'll keep on giving you"

"I'll give you eggs in a basket I'll give you bread crumbles"

"If you get upset and retweet I'll give you, you son of..."

"I'll give you my inbox to share it I'll give you and change your situation"

"I'll give you all you want so you can get a hashtag"

"I'll give you in the back alley I'll give you to take a selfie"

"Dubstep has no limits"

- "The number you are calling..." - "I'll give you a big elephant"

"I'll give you total destruction"

"Elephant, elephant"

"Total destruction"

"Total destruction"

"What a night! What a night!"

Can I help you?

Have some mercy, man?

- Me? - Have some mercy!

What have I done to you?

- Shame on you! - Take care of him, Hagras

- Why don't you just have some mercy? - Why are you talking like him?

You are really truly a star!

I swear, you are very weird and truly messed up

I can't go to the bathroom without listening to your songs

So, if I sang one more song you'd get diarrhea?

- Come here - Leave me alone!

Get him off me, Hagras Oh my God!

- He's stuck on you, Mr. Johnny - Help me!

That's it, I will never sing at weddings ever again

I will quit singing altogether

As they say

"Those who leave their homes get their peaks broken"

Why, Mr. Johnny? God really loves you

- Your song made such a huge impact - It had a huge impact on us

Have some mercy, man

Come on, won't you have some mercy, please?

God truly loves you

Subtitled by: eArabization