Original subtitles

Wow. Human Christmas is so different from Transylvania's winter solstice.

There are no toes in your mistletoe.

Silly us.

Come on, it's Secret Santa time. Now remember, the most important rule is to

keep your person a secret until the big gift exchange.

Relax, Sophie. I'm a grade -A secret keeper.

I find out you're a vampire within two days of knowing you.

Okay, C+.

Over here. Sophie.

You invited Britain to Secret Santa.

I did.

This is my first human Christmas, and I want to do it right.

Isn't the holiday spirit about including everyone, even your frenemies?

Yeah, I guess.

I'll try and have goodwill toward men and divas.

Hey, guys. Ready for Secret Santa?

Do we have to draw names? I've already given you the gift of my attendance.

Whoa, Brittany, your pitch pipe's had a glow -up. Can I see?

Careful. That's my lucky Christmas pitch pipe.

I've landed the lead in every holiday show thanks to it.

I got it from my third cousin, Mariah Carey, queen of Christmas.

Heard of her?

My third cousin is Marie Antoinette's actual queen.

Heard of her?

Okay, if we're done dropping names, let's get to drawing them.

Well,

Dean

Merriweather

isn't just a Wilson Hall alum.

She was a spotlight, too.

Once a sister, always a sister.

They answered my question.

But now I have more.

Dean announcement.

Our annual holiday pageant for the town is this Friday. And as usual, due to so

many talented performers at Wilson Hall, our first years will perform the iconic

role of stagehand.

What? But what about exceptional first year spotlights?

Like me.

Sorry, sis. Maybe next year.

Gatekeeper's gotta gatekeep.

And remember, dear, there are no small parts, only small actors.

And even smaller extracurricular budgets.

Oh, okay.

We're going now. We're going now. We're going.

You said she needed help with your secret Santa gift?

Yes. I know I can't tell you who it is.

But she's a DJ.

She lives with the... And her name rhymes with... Sophie.

Wow. I think I might know who you're talking about.

What's the problem?

We both picked each other's name. And I need to get her a great gift. Because

three months ago, I mentioned that I wanted these. And she remembered.

Demi, that's breaking the rules of Secret Santa.

And my common courtesy.

What is it?

Cargo pants.

Sorry, did you say cargo pants?

Elijah, they're utility and beauty woven together in one garment.

Each pocket, a possibility.

Cargo pants aren't just a gift. They're a way of life.

Uh, fine.

I'll help you.

But first, we got to get you out of this attic and touch some grass.

Let's go.

me work some holiday magic.

Greetings of the darkest season, Megan.

I have a request.

I got Brittany for Secret Santa.

It's supposed to be a secret.

And I'd be forever grateful if you would let her join your pageant finale.

After all, she is a spotlight.

And isn't this time of year about doing nice things for others?

this time of year about cashing in brownie points so you can get nice gifts

Santa?

Hmm.

I have been pretty naughty this year.

Brittany, get over here.

Yes, Megan?

Prove you can pick up the background choreo and you can be in the finale.

Really? Yes.

Hurry up and get ready.

Oh, you don't have to get ready when you were.

Thank you, Megan.

I didn't do it for you.

You did it for Santa.

Frosty to Rudolph.

My secret Santa mission is working.

Over.

Rudolph to Frosty. It's a Christmas miracle.

Over. You guys are like two feet apart from each other.

stuff is a lot of work.

Hey, Brittany.

So, should we get back on the sleigh? No.

I can't do the performance without my lucky pitch pipe.

Once I lost it for my third grade holiday concert.

Then I threw up on stage.

Jingle bells, Brittany smells.

At least you're not being dramatic about it.

Why don't we just do a little... warm -up to prove you're ready to get back

there.

D 'oh!

D 'oh!

Rudolph, red note alert.

D .Va down.

I repeat, D .Va is down.

I'm your secret Santa.

You're supposed to keep that a secret.

Now that's been taken from me, too.

Where will it end?

Brittany, get back here!

You left me no choice.

Brittany, look at me.

You will get on stage and perform with the confidence of the star you are.

Yes, I'm a star.

Who got this, Brittany?

Five, six, seven, eight.

How did they fix her so fast?

You know, just a little mind control.

Ah, yes, that always works out well for you.

What is he doing?

Uh, eating the stars.

for the sake of the show and the insurance policy that I did not pay for?

Sarah, I tried.

Thank you, Sister Dean!

Y 'all are at a ten and I need you at a two!

Maybe

it's

time to just get Brittany a gift card.

I can't give up.

Not on Britney and not on Christmas.

I have to get her back into that pageant.

But we may need to bring in some professional help.

Santa? No. You want toys or you want solutions?

I'm talking about Krampus.

Who's Krampus?

You have Santa.

We have a delightful monster from the South Pole who answers vampires'

requests.

has cursed you with many earthworms under your pillow.

I need your help.

You see, I'm Britney's secret Santa.

Is it, Secret B? Is it?

I can't believe Sophie wouldn't spill one thing she wants for Christmas,

world peace.

I know!

Like, we have time for that!

I have no choice but to go to the Hereafter and ask her grandma what to

Hold my hat.

Demi, Demi, Demi!

It's Sophie's grandma instead of lies.

We can just call her.

DJ Blue Hair? You look just like Sophie.

You mean she looks just like me.

What can I do for you kids?

We need help coming up with a secret Santa gift for Sophie. She's always so

at giving gifts.

Because she listens.

I remember the Christmas when she was eight.

Or was she nine?

Anywho. This is a really interesting story, Miss Blue Hair, but we're not...

The first one?

Then stop interrupting and listen.

Yes, DJ man.

Enjoy the show.

Brittany, I'm really sorry you got stuck here. Let me help you. A mother always

says, a bloody burden halved is a bloody burden shared.

Is your mother well?

pre -show warm -up, but no one has returned.

Oh, send the town folk home. Turn off the lights. It's over.

Christmas is canceled.

Well, at least you're not being dramatic about it.

You know, the first years could stall the crowd until the performers get back.

And if it comes to it, Britney knows Spotlight's big finale.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

You get those first years on that stage, and Britney, you're getting a second

chance. Christmas!

enough to challenge Sabrina Carpenter to a thing -off.

She did, and she won.

I guess I can try.

But keep this handy.

To get Britney in the show, he got the other performers out.

I knew he wasn't delightful.

What's he going to do to them? Nothing if he had a big lunch.

I better go.

Here, take Britney's bucket.

Hanging up.

Brittany, you're on.

Yes, you can.

You got this.

Do you want to do it together?

come true.

to bring the gingerbread house.

Thank you, Demi.

How'd you know?

Elijah and I called your grandma, and after five hours of listening to

stories, we kept hearing about one thing you loved no matter what.

Rainbow rice cake.

We also heard that you needed extra -absorbent diapers as a baby, and that

pretended to be a cat for an entire summer.

It was theater camp, and I was in character.

Phoenix!

Um, Brit, you're my secret Santa?

An autographed headshot of yourself.

That's what I wanted.

Don't sell it online.

Yet.

Last but not least, this is for you.

You were my favorite Santa.

Why didn't you tell me?

That's because you're not supposed to... Never mind.

There's a bunch of pages left to fill, since you and I are making our own

history now.

Aw, that's the best Secret Santa gift that's ever gotten.

Well, it's the only Secret Santa gift you've ever gotten, but I'll take it.

Thanks, everyone, for making my Christmas perfect.

It was even better than I ever imagined, because I never imagined it with all of

you.

Merry solstice, Krampus.

Hey, come on, look!

Let's see.

Goblin!