All language subtitles for The Swedish Theory of Love (2015).en

Everything was great in Sweden

The people had comfortable lives
The highest standard of living

Progress, modern thinking
Trust in our leaders

Then the time came
to take another step forward

And free ourselves from old-fashion,
outdated family structures

that still ruled the way we lived together
and made use dependent on each other.

The idea was deeply rooted in the most
Swedish of all values: independence

In the winter of 1972 a group of politicians
had a revolutionary vision for the future.

An idea that, if implemented,
would make life better for us all.

Time had come
to free women from men.

Free the elderly from their children,
free teenagers from their parents.

A manifesto was written:
The family of the future.

We take a changed society
as a model for an existence...

...where every person
can develop independently.

Where all the adults are economically
independent from their relatives.

The principle is obvious: Every person must
be considered as an independent individual...

...not as an appendage to a provider.

It is about creating
economical and social conditions...

...that make one independent as an individual.

Independent as an individual.

This was the start of a process of liberation.

Liberation from dependence
on our relatives.

From now on we would all make sure
that each and one of us would be free.

Free from each other.

And from now on, only true
relationships will keep us together.

We are going to kick off with, I hope,
some provocation from northern Europe.

And without more ado I think
we need to go to the provocation.

Carry on sir.

-You have to press the button.
-This one? Does that work better?

Next slide, please.

The Swedish theory of love.

The Swedish theory of love.
What does it say?

It says that all authentic human relationships
have to be based on the fundamental independence between people.

Independence between people.
A woman who is dependent on her man...

How do we know that either one of them
are voluntarily in that relationship...

...rather than because of
economical dependency?

Children have very extensive
children rights.

Elderly are no longer dependent on
the good will of their adult children.

The ideal family in Sweden is then
made of adult individuals...

...that are fundamentally independent.

Independent. Working for themselves.

Independent. For themselves.

Independent. For themselves.
Independent.

The Swedish theory of love.

I and one of my friends
had some trees that we talked to.

We asked how they felt.

We talked about the day
and what they would do on holidays.

The way I remember, we also perceived
some sort of an answer from the trees.

I don't remember what it was they answered.

I am one of those who want "space".

I think it is individual if one wants
to have someone around all the time...

...or if one is content meeting
just now and then.

It is very individual.

I think it is better to get children alone
and take it easy on the search for a partner.

It was not so important, put it simply.

Or not important at all.

It was the children I desired,
not a relationship.

Even if I once desired to have children with someone,
being alone has never frightened me.

I can miss the relationship.
Coming home and finding someone there.

And sometimes it is someone else who
gets up in the morning and makes breakfast.

Or discuss the news in the evening. You know,
someone to help fold the laundry.

Living alone is not unusual in Sweden.

Forty years after that manifesto,
almost half of us live by ourselves.

The highest rate in the world.

Choosing to have children on our own,
like Maria Helena, is not unusual either.

There are many people out there
willing to help bring a child into the world.

I believe that we are all part of the great
evolution of human consciousness.

I think we should all strive to be a positive element
in the gradual realization of the full human potential.

I am adventurous, love learning and sports,
and taking care of my body

I am fairly academic
and I am attending university.

I am ambitious and work hard towards my goals.
And I take a great deal of pride in my achievements.

Me? I am not a complicated or
mysterious person at all.

I work hard and I am very focused in my work
as key account manager in the transport industry.

I want to help people and make
a difference in someone's life

The fact that it takes only five minutes
makes it even easier to decide to help people.

I have to do so very little
for some people to gain so much.

In the beginning it was for the money.
Then I realized the importance.

If I should start as a donor today,
I would gladly do it for free.

I've always wanted to help other people.
And here I am: a sperm donor.

I wish all of you a happy life. Roger.

The largest sperm bank in the world.

170 liters of sperm
waiting to be delivered.

Assisted reproduction
begun many years ago.

But in this Danish company
a visionary mind conceived of new ideas...

...more in line with our needs.

I had a dream.
I realized it was a peculiar dream.

It was not a wet dream or something like that.

Frozen sperm in ice formation.

I didn't have a clue about sper,
riproduction or fertility...

...so I was starting to do experiments
with my own sperm.

I masturbated at home
and was doing freezing experiment in the freezer.

And after some time the freezer was full of sperm.

I even brought some sperm to my parents.

They have probably forgiven me
and something good came out of it.

Ten years ago single women were only a small number
of those buying sperm from this bank

Today, single women,
a growing number of them from Sweden...

...are half of the company's customers.

I see a continuous growth of single female...

...who require sperm
because they want to reproduce.

They think: "Why should we have a man?
We are well educated and well situated."

"Why should we have a man and take another job
and wash clothes and make food..."

"...and clean the house, and all that old fashion stuff?"
so they want to create a family themselves.

And that's where we come in.

The single female seems to choose
something similar to themselves.

You can start and click maybe ten favorite donors.

Then you can narrow your search
until you find your single one.

Then she chooses the delivery date,
the delivery address...

...and gives the credit card number.
The sale staff handles the order next day.

Finally they are registered by the courier
who picks up all our shipment in the afternoon.

And then there is some tracking mechanism
it will go an automatic email to the client...

So they can track the shipment
until it comes normally next day.

Home insemination.

Dry ice handling instructions.

Always wear protective gloves.

Dry ice in contact with skin.
After thawing the straws...

...you should perform the insemination
within the next 20 minutes.

lie down in a comfortable position
in which you can remain for 30 minutes.

Raise your hips with a pillow to get
a downward direction of the vagina

Insert the syringe far into the vagina...

...as close to the entrance of the cervix
as possible.

Relax and inject the sperm
gently and safely.

If possible... relax.

Try having a orgasm
after the insemination.

This might help even more
because of possible vibrations.

And after she can continue life.

Easy?

Yes as easy as in real life,
maybe even easier because you
don't need the presence of the man

And the question is: where are
the men in the future?

What they can do... I don't know.

The community is simply collapsing
if you don't reproduce yourselves.

Otherwise you need to import people
from abroad, which gives problems.

We have to learn how to
approach this demand in the future.

We have to find out how we can
meet the needs on the internet...

...so that female can have exposure
of all the senses in the future.

I think that would be virtual contact
between the donor and the recipiant.

Maybe they can go and have candle light
dinner together in a virtual way.

Maybe they can walk along the beach side.

You can also maybe have intercourse.

But that may not be the most
important thing for the female.

It's much more important for her
what she sees with her eyes...

...what she smells and what she touches.

Exactly the same as normal life.

Just without having physical contact.

The idea that we should be able to manage
our lives on our own autonomously...

...is not a Swedish invention.
It is part of a belief in individuality...

...that has been defining life in the whole
western world for some time.

But here in Sweden we have been unusually
effective at turning words into reality.

Well, if we go back to
my earlier point about...

...the individualist aspect of Nordic society...

Let's see the last slide,
so that I can illustrate for you.

This is a map of values.

Values.

It measures along the two axes.

The one axis is survival values versus
self expression values

Some way you can say this is the real
difference between rich and poor countries.

In the poor countries it's more or less obligatory
to have your first concern with basics

Health, shelter, clean water,
that sort of thing.

Values.

In the richest countries you can afford
to be concerned with yourself as
the most important project in the world

Self realization,
your own career...

...self fulfillment and so forth.

Values.

The other axis measures
the difference between values...

...that focus on the individual
as the central unit of society...

...and more traditional values that place
emphasis on family, religion and nation.

Values.

If you look at the upper right hand corner,
you'll see one little solitary country up there.

You know extreme right.

Which is Sweden.

A society of individuals.

Here, not only do half of us
live alone...

...one in four die alone.

In this building are the headquarters
of the agency...

...that takes care of those
who have passed away unnoticed...

...missed by no one.

Where is the daughter?

I left a message in the daughter's
answering machine...

...and asked her to call me back,
but I didn't hear anything.

They had no contact, I can say.

They had not seen each other in 30 years.

No one has heard from the daughter.

It is like this that
the daughter must be notified...

...because she represents the estate.

Then we must determine
that she is the legal daughter.

Yes then.

Here there are no records
about a daughter.

- do you know what she is called?
- No, I don't.

But if she doesn't care,
what do we do?

Then time goes.

I don't want to get involved.
To tell the truth I am very tired.

-I don't want, as simple as that.
-And he had no autogiro?

–Yes, home help was drown from autogiro.
–Yes exactly.

–Than we say so. Thank you.
–Good bye.

Let's see...

Annie is searching
for a dead man next of kin.

A daughter no one has been able to contact.

Her team of investigators deal
with cases like this every day.

When the search for a daughter or
a close relative does not lead anywhere...

Annie and Luis go to the man's home
to search for more clues about his life and family.

A few days ago a neighbor
complained about the bad smell.

The police found the man had been lying
on the floor in the hall for three weeks.

Let's see what we find.

Cylinda laundry.

A lot of money in the bank account.

950 000.

And more than 100 000 in another bank,
he had several different accounts.

-He is a wealthy man.
-Yes, you can say that.

Nothing indicating any contact
with family or friends. Nothing.

He has been sitting here
in front of the computer, alone...

...and moved between different accounts.

It seems life is about being at home.

You don't go out unless it is necessary
to buy food for the day.

You don't knock on the neighbor's
door and ask for company.

If he did not need to eat, he would
never have left the apartment.

Perhaps he would have sat on the chair
in front of the TV and done nothing.

And would have sunk more and more
in his own ruminations.

I perceive that
loneliness has increased.

From the number of errands that we receive...

...it is more cases when people
have lied dead in the apartment for long...

...with respect to just ten years ago.

We have to be self sufficient.
We are not in a group any longer...

...the very large family...

...instead we live alone
behind our close doors.

Who should I the ask for help?
We become blinded by independence.

What's the point of having a million
in the bank if I am not happy?

Then we die anyway.

When no next of kin can be found to claim
the property of the deceased...

...all the valuables are
turned over to the state.

And the remaining items are collected
and driven away to a garbage dump.

Are these isolated cases? Or is it
the way life will end for most of us...

Now living in this overly organized, efficient...

...system of welfare and personal autonomy?

From the outside Sweden
is seen as a promised land.

A perfect place to live a better life.

A country worth taking
great risks to get to.

So many refugees come here
from countries in trouble.

Looking for a better life, looking for
peace and comfort... or just trying to survive.

[Gun shooting]

This is my brother.

This is the son of my brother.

This is from inside the house. This is me.

This is the house after bombing.

You can see this and this.

Before the bombing.

Some of them are lucky enough to meet Nhela.

Originally from Syria, Nhila has lived here
long enough to know exactly how things work.

She is given the task of helping new comers...

...to guide them and introduce them
to our Swedish system of values.

"To come on time." What does that mean?

One has to come on time. If it is
at two o-clock, then it is at two o-clock.

In Sweden
time is very important.

You cannot come late, okay?

At school, at work as well...
one must come on time.

Do you understand, Jonas?

I said it is very important with time.
You must come on time, not late.

"Where do you come from?"

Where do you come from?

"I come from Syria, I come
from Eritrea." Syria and Eritrea.

- Do you come from Syria?
–No.

"No, I come... from... Eritrea."

These are question that we will
use today. With short answers.

Swedes love short answers.
Do you understand?

Why do we use short answers?
For example "Do you feel okay?"

- Do you feel okay?
-Yes.

And then it's over. You don't need to
say anything more.

Swedes do not want to talk a lot.
It is enough with short answers.

They don't like to talk too much

"Do you feel okay?" – "Yes."

"Do you come from Syria?" – "Yes."

Yes or no. Do you understand?

It is the same thing. "Do you understand?"
Then you say yes or no.

No discussion.

I want that you ask questions
to each other with short answers.

-Are you married?
-Yes.

- And you, Ogbe, are you married?
-Absolutely.

Why do you answer "absolutely"?
It is not for sure that one is married.

Perhaps one is "sambo".

It is when you live together,
but you are not married. "Sambo".

Then there is also "särbo".
What is särbo?

It means that you live here,
and your girlfriend lives there.

But you see each other on weekends.

That you live separately.
You live in different places.

A boy says:
"How can I learn Swedish?"

"Your lectures don't help."

"If I don't go out and talk
to Swedes, it is hopeless."

"Where are the Swedes?
I have never seen a Swede."

"I have never seen a Swede."

Seven years after being granted asylum,
if they are lucky...

...our new friends will meet some of us.

Seven years is the average time
it takes for refugees to find a job...

...be included, be part of us.

The longest time in Europe.

By then, they will eventually find out
that it is not impossible to meet us
if they understand the codes.

Social life here often takes place
through organized activities.

Hi all. My name is Jan, and I am
operative chief for this search.

Thank you for being here.

Extra thank you for those who
came back to search for Sonja.

Every weekend, groups of volunteers
dedicate their spare time
joining search parties...

...to look for those of us who've
disappeared in neighborhoods,
in forests across the country.

You will get the area for your search.

We will partly search in the inhabited area,
and partly in the terrain here.

This movement, called "Missing People"
has grown to become a popular social activity...

...engaging more than 25 000 people.

We have lists that you
will sign your name in.

Come back here
and strike your name in the list.

The other worry we have is that we loose
any of you during the search.

Any questions from you?

No.

–How do you do?
–Good.

Yes...

Some people have disappeared from
Pionvägen, so even more come.

Tomorrow many new families will come.

-How many are they?
-Here in Gusum they are around 220.

An there will be even more?

-I don't know what to say.
-Neither do I.

At the kindergarten and preschool it is full.
Many of those children are foreign...

Imagine if more Swedish come?
It is full now.

-We can't receive more.
-Not in such a small community.

I don't know if yes or no.
Because I have nothing... No.

It is a lot of fun that you weave.

We have been doing this for many years.

It is a course in weaving,
it is not for any other.

It's us in the course who are doing this.

Swedish people are not racist.

For Swedish people are very human
and think a lot about other people.

But the problem is that they want to
keep it at the distance, not close at home.

Swedish people are individualists.
The individual is at the center: no more.

You don't even think about
your brother or your mother.

As long as the individual is the authority,
it is only you that count, no one else.

It is you that should thrive,
it is you that should live your life.

Many people live alone.

I don't know if they are happy.
For me, I don't think so.

I could not live one day alone.

It is a little of smell that spreads,
but it is just smell.

But no one goes deeper.

No one thinks that perhaps
someone has ended his life...

...behind the door
that is right next to my door.

I don't know why it happened.

[doorbell]

Take the door. Close it.

This is a person...

...who killed himself.

About two years ago.

It was discovered not so long ago.

As I said, it is suicide.
He hanged himself.

One can question how it is possible
that a person...

...has been dead for
two years in the apartment.

It is because...

A big part can be explained
with the autogiro service.

The money come in...

...and the bills, the rent first of all,
is paid automatically.

So, no one reacts, no one notices anything.

Oh... This is cash.

"Here is the money
from sailing valuables."

It is as if the person
has prepared himself.

He sold all the valuables,
but for whom?

"Kronofogde authority."

How ironic:
to pay for your bills after you are dead.

I wonder sometimes
why we are so unhappy...

...in this overflow of everything.

Every one pulls in their direction.
There is no cement between us.

If one is sick
or has no energy for something...

...the problem is solved
in a very public way.

One can not cry in someone arms,
you have send an application instead.

Is it really that simple?

What about those who
don't buy into these values...

...who see through the promise
of the autonomous lifestyle...

...who don't really feel in tune
with the idea of simply becoming
independent individuals.

In our search for someone
who questions this way of thinking,
we found ourselves in this forest...

...where once in a while groups
of young people venture...

...trying to create small sanctuaries
of warmth and connection with each other.

They don't live.
They don't breathe. They don't laugh.

You can't see them in the eye
or talk with them.

-They work and watch TV.
-What the hell!

Very strange. We love,
cry and live every day...

...and we are present and with each other.
We do what we want.

For me it was an incredible release to
meet people that wanted to meet me...

...and see people
who want to look back.

When I fall in the old habits...

...and hang with people who don't
want to see me, I get sad.

Then I understand how important it is touch...

...and the real contact from the heart is.

That's when we can mirror each other,
we can be authentic and create love.

For me it is all about
getting the feeling of happiness.

What society offers
has nothing to do with happiness...

...instead it is about security.
Security is not the same as happiness.

It's rather the opposite, security
can cause us to be unhappy.

"Security of the society" is not happiness.

It is a way to live,
but then one chooses to be unhappy.

We have a security net that takes care
of us. We don't take care of each other.

In Colombia grandma lives at home
and takes care of the grandchildren.

She lives with the family
and she will follow all the way.

We sit in our apartments
and are taken care of by society.

And we forget to take care of
each other. It makes me very sad.

It doesn't matter
if you are a close person...

...who eats, sleeps and vomits.

Even that person is welcome here.

Perhaps it takes a few days,
but to see that person grow...

I remember my first time here.
It was an incredible exhalation.

Everyone should come here, or search for
a situation that will give them happiness.

That they get love. We all want love.

Self-sufficient.

Independent as individual.

A society of individuals...

Sweden is the future,
the peak of progress.

The head of the curve in the development
of the whole western world.

Let's leave perfection for a while
and move against progress...

...to what we find in the most opposite
side of Sweden in this map of values:

Africa. Ethiopia.

Wollega, a remote region to the east.

The new home of Doctor Erichsen.

I think that something is going wrong
in Sweden by all this social engineering.

People are... They feel lonely.

I heard somebody told me that...
especially older people feel alone...

So now the Red Cross in Sweden
they have started a campaign...

...to activate people to take care of older people.

Here people are never alone.
You are always among other people.

If you get sick,
people will not stay away,
they will come and visit you.

If you are dying,
people will come and sit with you.

And even after you die,
they will sit and mourn.
So here you are never alone.

Never.

After working as a surgeon
in Sweden for 30 years...

Doctor Erichsen moved to Ethiopia
with his wife Sennait.

In this field hospital
he's found new meaning.

He struggles every day
in conditions of lack of resources...

...helping patients for whom life itself
is a constant matter of survival.

It's okay.

Can somebody get the
technical department?

Another option is of course
to cut here and then....

That's another option.

To cut with a saw here
and then take it out.

Where is the metal saw?

That is here, we have it here.

We have it here.

Okay, let me just change...

They were hunting.
They were out hunting.

Okay, go ahead.

Go ahead, go ahead.

Okay, there...

Okay, yeah, good.

Few millimeters from the main vessels.

Just few millimeters. Incredible!

Jaha, the light went.

That's good we have the solar,
so we are not in complete darkness.

Of course we are living on conditions that
are not so high standard as in Sweden.

Lack of resources...

...lack of equipment...
lack of routines...

Chaos.

You go down to the local market,
look around for screws.

Well they are not made for medical purpose,
but if you have nothing, use it!

The limit is your own fantasy.

Anywhere in the world you can find
bicycle wires which is on the wheel.

-Spokes.
-Spokes, okay. They are very useful.

You can use them as they are
for intramedullary nailing.
You fix fractures inside the bone.

This bent here, you prevent it
from slipping inside

My colleague at home would complain
and say "but they get rusty",
and that's true...

...but sterile rust is not harmful, so...

A plumber knows what this is used for.

This is used for keeping hoses together.
But it can be used also for fracture.

If you have a fracture which is a little bit oblique...

...you can put it around the fracture
and you can squeeze it.
And keep the fracture in place.

Also these bolder band...

...you put it around the fracture like this,
and then tie. It's very strong.

Very useful.

Here we have nylon on wheels.

A fishing line, and then the injection needle.

The problem is that no one in
the so called first world thinks...

...that they can learn something from Africa.

These are ...hair clamps.

Whenever you do a surgery for prostate,
there's a complication which is not so uncommon:

And that is leakage, incontinence.

I tried it first on myself, actually,
even not on the finger,
just to see if it works.

This is a penis clamp. If it is
a little bit too tight you
just bend it a little bit.

It's a little bit rusty, but it's okay.
Good...

This is a drill
from the local supermarket.

If you buy the one which is made for
medical use, it will cost you like...

...4 000 euro. This one you buy
in the supermarket, 15 euros.

Clas Ohlson!

Good! Make a nice dressing. Thank you.

Here we are in material need.

But the spiritual need in Sweden is even
bigger than the material need here.

That's what I think.

Whenever I go back to Sweden I meet my colleagues.

They complain more and more about
the bureaucracy paper work. They are drowning.

The system suffocates them.

The cultural shock is more
severe than coming here.

You have nothing to talk with people
and people are very occupied
with their own things.

Everybody is so occupied with themselves,
until they realize their own goals.

Had I not been married with Sennait,
I would never have come here.

And I would have been
a completely different person.

I would have had a boring and...

Ethiopia has given me
so much life experience.

I would have lived a normal Swedish life
with summer house... boat... and...

"Shall we build a glassed-in porch"

"Perhaps a sauna?"
I think this is what would have filled my life.

New car...

This is what mostly occupies people at home.

Now we have this lady, this young girl...

...she came some years ago to the hospital.

She came like this.

With the cloth to cover the mouth.
This is how she was presented.

This is a tumor of the tongue.
Slow growing tumor of the tongue.

Still I cannot understand how could she eat?

How could she breath during sleep?

I had to remove the tongue.

But then the problem was that
after that the jaw was deformed
by the pressure from the tumor...

...so I had to remove part of the jaw.

She was so brave.
She was never complaining not crying.

This is when she came to
remove the external fixation...

...three months after surgery.
And you see she looks tired.

I ask her "You look tired?"
She had been walking 11 hours on foot.

And then, now it's removed.

I think this is one year after surgery.
She came back to say hello.

Who is she?

This is the real reward. This was
more than all the money in the world

We could learn a lot
from this culture.

I admire people here, really.

A place free from hunger,
free from poverty...

...free from people and trouble.
So quiet, so perfect.

So what do we make out of it?
We look for advice, for words of wisdom.

If there is someone
who has spent a lot of time
thinking about the society of individuals...

...that is Bauman, Zygmunt Bauman,
90 years old Polish sociologist.

It is untrue...

...that happiness means a trouble free life.

Happiness means overcoming troubles...

...resolving difficulties.

The challenges,
You try your best you strain yourself...

...and then you get the moment of
happiness when you see...

...that you have controlled
the challenges of the fate.

Now that is exactly this joy
of overcoming difficulties...

...of fighting the troubles,
facing them and overcoming...

Now that is been lost
when comfort grows.

Independent as individual.

You have everything.

You have enough provisions to keep you away from hunger, misery and poverty.

One thing you don't have...

One thing which cannot be provided by the state or the policy from the top...

...is to be among other people.

To be with other people.
To be one of a company.
That you have to do yourself.

People who are trained in independence...

...are loosing their ability...

...to negotiate cohabitation with other people.

Because you already are deprived of the skills of socializing.

Socializing. Socializing.

Socializing.

It is awfully tiring.

Requiring a lot of effort
a lot of attention.

Process of negotiating and renegotiating...

...re-discussing, re-agreeing,
recreating...

Independence strips you of the ability to do just that.

Self-sufficient.

We are now dividing our lives between two different worlds:

Online and offline.

Connecting and disconnecting.

The online life is to great extent clean of risks.

Risks of life.

It is so easy to make internet, network friends.

You are never really feeling your loneliness.

If you don't like the attitudes represented by some other users...

...you just stop communicating with them.

When you are offline...

...what you inevitably see is the reality of the diversity of the human race.

People are diverse:
passers by, strangers...

You'll have to face the need to engage in conversation.

You have to face up to the fact that people are different.
There are many ways of being human.

When you engage in dialog you never know how it will end.

Perhaps, instead of proving that you are wise and all the others are stupid...

...it will prove that others are wise and you are stupid.

Independence strips you of the ability to do just that.

A society of individuals.

The more you are independent the less you are able to stop your independence...

...and replace it with very pleasurable interdependence.

Interdependence.

Interdependence.

So at the end of independence is not happiness.

At the end of independence there is emptiness of life meaninglessness of life...

...and utter unimaginable boredom.

English subtitles by Giampiero Salvi (giampisalvi@gmail.com)