All language subtitles for My Father, the BTK Killer (2025)_track5_[eng]

February of 2005.
I will never forget that day.

I was 26, and I was so sick of the snow
and the ice in Michigan.

I was substitute teaching.

I didn't like driving in the snow,
so I'd stayed home.

Like around noon,
I'm just kind of waking up,

and I looked outside my blinds,

and there's this odd car
parked behind the apartment.

And it wouldn't leave.

All of a sudden,
there was a knock at my door.

Dad had ingrained in me "stranger danger."

Make them prove to you who they are.

And so I cracked the door,
and I put my foot in it.

I'm like, "Well, maybe I can
stop him from coming in."

He's like, "I need to question you."

So I'm like, "What is going on?"

He's like, "Have you heard of BTK?"

An individual who has
the uncontrollable desire to kill.

A community in shock over the arrest

of the suspected so-called BTK killer.

BTK. Bind, torture, and kill.

And then he goes, "Your dad is BTK."

- Dennis Rader.
- Dennis Rader.

Dennis L. Rader.

59 years old,
Rader is married with two children.

He was an active member of
Christ Lutheran Church, a Scout leader,

and worked for the suburban community
of Park City as a compliance officer.

The seemingly ordinary
family man who's accused of killing

at least ten people
over the last three decades.

For years, police in Wichita,
Kansas, say Dennis Rader lived and killed

among his friends and neighbors.

He was doing all the things
that every other dad was doing.

A sexual sadist.

To kill was the thrill.

Can you imagine
finding out that your father

is one of the most evil people on Earth?

I don't know who my father is,
what he was hiding.

Was he using my family to hide?

Was he using us that whole time?

It's hard to know who I am
if every moment in my life was a lie.

I would have sworn a year ago

that my father
had just murdered ten people.

I'd been told from the get-go
by the FBI, the detectives,

"Oh, just the ten. Just the ten.
It was just the ten."

We've got a possible twist in the case
involving the notorious BTK killer.

This morning, authorities say
the notorious BTK killer

who terrorized people in Kansas
during the 1970s

could be linked to two more
unsolved cases in other states.

And I was like, "What is going on?"

And the next thing I know,

the police called me to talk about it.

I know him better than anyone
probably in the world.

Investigators can go in with all their
knowledge and all their evidence,

but I'm the one that can, like,
crack his codes and crack him.

If my father has committed more murders,

it's important to know,

because it gives answers to the families
that have been waiting for decades.

Those families deserve answers,
and the truth is the truth.

But the counterargument is…
like, my life has value too,

and to what level do I sacrifice?

And what level do I put myself
through trauma to try to help?

My father was arrested in '05,
and I was 26.

We had everybody from Oprah to Larry King
trying to interview us, Diane Sawyer,

and my family just said no.

So we had declined everything.

I'm checking all the boxes right.
I'm cooking, I'm raising kids,

stay-at-home mom,
leading women's ministry.

You would say, "Hey, she's doing great."

But the truth was that I was dying inside.
They just didn't know I was hiding.

I spent almost ten years
rotting inside after he was arrested,

not being able to speak, not thinking
I was allowed to speak, you know,

the Midwest code, you don't ever
air your dirty laundry publicly.

You just keep it inside,
and you look appropriate on the outside.

That's how I was raised.

And then in September of '14,
I was headed to bed,

and Darian, my husband at the time,

he goes, "Hey, Stephen King was on,
like, a morning TV show."

"He was talking about your parents

because he wrote a short story and
made a movie calledThe Good Marriage."

- Tell us about this. I mean, Dennis Rader…
- Mm-hmm.

…the guy who's
this real-life sort of model.

He was a prototype for,
uh, the guy in my… in my story,

and, uh, he murdered ten people,
two of them were children,

and he had a long marriage,
two kids of his own, and his wife said,

after he was caught,

uh, that she… she never knew.

And I'm sitting up in bed,
I'm upset, I'm crying, I'm out of the bed,

walking back and forth,
you know, just really upset.

Like, even upset at my husband
and upset at Stephen King and just, like,

wishing none of this was happening.

I had been silent for so long,

and there was so much stuff
that needed to come out.

My first interview ever, you know, I just
spilled my guts for, like, 40 minutes

about who I was… who my dad was…

my mom, my life married,
what the last ten years have been like.

And I was headline news,
like, by that night,

and then international news
by the next day.

Kerri, thank you for taking
some time to come on the program.

Thank you for having me.

When the FBI agent notified me,
I was, like, holding onto the wall.

Everything I cared for was gone.

I was killing myself internalizing this
and not talking about it.

I wasn't thinking
it was that big of a deal.

I wasn't watching my mouth.

I had upset a lot of people
with the words just… coming out of me.

And I just was, like, upset that

he had decided to use our…
my parents for inspiration.

I'm going to always love my dad.
I mean, he's my dad.

But I hadn't really gotten into

what my father had done as BTK.
I hadn't gone into the crimes.

And I was in therapy,
and it was getting all really mixed up.

Was he using my family to hide?
Did he really love my mom?

Did he really love us,
or was he using us that whole time?

I kind of went and grabbed everything
and researched my own life

and researched my dad's life
to be able to talk about it.

It was all just a big, jumbled mess.

In 1974, my dad destroyed four members
of a seven-member family.

A few months before that,
he had been laid off from Cessna.

And he really liked that job.

And so he said when he got laid off
in the fall of 1973, he got depressed.

And moody and bored.

And he said, you know,
"Idle hands make for devil's work."

And he started thinking about bad things
and putting those into action.

In 1974, I was a bureau captain

for the Wichita Police Department.

Our police chief retired,
and there was a nationwide search

for a new police chief.

And I thought, "Well, what the heck.
I think I'll put in for it."

"I won't get it, but I'll put in for it."

I think there was
110 applicants or something.

I ended up with the job.

Wichita was a very calm, Midwestern city.

People go about their business.

And Wichita, at that time,

you didn't lock your doors,
you didn't lock your car.

It was just a very calm,
wonderful place to live.

Some of the things that I did
when I first became the chief,

there were some major cases that were
going on that had happened in the past.

Of course, when I became chief,

the possibility of a serial killer
didn't enter my mind.

The bodies of Joseph Otero,
his wife Julie, their daughter Josephine,

and their son Joseph II were discovered
in their East Wichita home.

In 1974, I was just
a photojournalist at KAKE Television,

and I was sent to a house.

We knew that
there had been a homicide there.

We didn't know how many.
We didn't have details on it.

I noticed that nobody was talking.

The detectives had clammed up.

Older boy, Charlie,
was coming home from school,

and he walked in
and found this horrendous scene.

His parents murdered,
his brother and sister murdered,

and he completely lost it.

He tried to untie them,

and then he ran next door to seek help.

Traumatic… for him.
It would have been for anyone.

This is a very bizarre case
for this area of the country.

I think it's the worst one that I've seen

in the 30 years that
I've been involved in homicide work.

And we're not going to give up on it.

It was just a horrible, terrible murder.

How could anybody…anybodykill a child?

That didn't happen here.

I was briefed in the Otero case

from the command staff in investigations.

The direction that they were taking was
that because of the nature of the crime,

they thought it was
some kind of a revenge crime,

or perhaps some kind of
a drug-related thing.

But then again, the other investigators
were looking at the sexual aspect of it.

Keep in mind, there's not just
one or two investigators on this.

There are several, and they're going
in several different directions

to try to solve this thing.

It's depressing to see Wichita
just run down in places.

You know, like it's just…
It's always been run down in places,

but it's just depressing as hell.

It is not pleasant to go to Wichita.

I mean, it is high levels of PTSD.

Something will instantly hit me,
and I'll go…

I will… go into trauma world.

I totally forgot that
I used to hike, ride bikes,

and, um, hike along this ditch with Dad.

Dad taught me the back roads,

and how to drive those
instead of the highway.

He actually had more patience and was
calmer and cooler about it than my mom.

My mom would, like, freak out.

He was pretty fun to hang out with,
because he would let you, like,

do what you wanted, and get into trouble,

and get dirty, and he didn't care.

This is Christ Lutheran Church,
here at 53rd and Hillside.

Mom and Dad met at church
in August of '70.

It was like love at first sight
for both of them.

And they got married,
like, nine months later.

Probably my earliest memories
are when I was, like, two or three.

My house was a three-bedroom house.
We had a big garden growing up.

Dad built us
this massive treehouse on stilts.

We used to camp out in the treehouse.

We helped with yard work.
He taught me how to garden,

how to plant flowers.

He took me to the hardware store

every Saturday to get stuff
when we were building the treehouse.

My dad never treated me like a girl.

He treated me like a tomboy
and let me do whatever he was doing.

So as soon as I was walking,
I was right there by him.

Kerri and I are the same age,

so we went through school together.

She was from the same neighborhood.

So we did Halloweens together.
We did soccer team together.

We did everything.

It was a very small community,
small town, so you knew everybody.

Growing up with the Raders,
they were like every other family.

I mean, he did all the things
that all the dads did.

We called him the dogcatcher of Park City.

We've been tracking 'em down.

The dogs are somewhat territorial
as well as vicious,

and we've been trying to round them up
and corral them as best as we can,

working with the reporting parties
of where the sheep were killed.

He didn't just do dog catching.

He also did, like, violations for
if your weeds are too high or whatever.

If somebody got a violation in Park City,
we would always make a joke like, "Oh,

Dennis had his little ruler out again."

My father, on the outside,

looked like a very well-behaved,
mild-mannered man.

But there's these moments of Dad.

Something will trigger him,
and he can flip on a dime,

and it can be dangerous.

And as a kid, you just knew,

"I better not have my shoes out because
I'm gonna get yelled at about my shoes."

So you just knew not to sit
in Dad's chair at the kitchen table.

You knew to let him get lunch first.

You let him choose
what activities you were gonna do,

what movies, where you were going…

Like, a lot of control, right?

And now you realize, like,
who my father is, what he was hiding…

The Wichita Eagle was a daily newspaper.

We had about 125 people
working in the newsroom.

That would include photojournalists,
that would include

sports, business, whatever.

Virtually everybody.

It was exciting.

Otero was talked about
for a long time, because

you didn't have four people killed,
including children, before.

I should point out that
there's a lot of stuff about this

that wasn't known until later.

The police would say, "This was vicious,"

or "This is what they did,"
or "They tied this one up."

But there's so much that was not known.

We knew it was horrible,
but we didn't know how horrible.

We had to keep certain things
in the investigation secret.

In other words, we didn't want
the community to know some of the details.

And then, in October of '74,

the department arrested
the Sebring brothers.

These guys were pedophiles,
is what they were.

They admitted, once they got in,
that they had killed the Otero family.

Well, of course, this was major news,

and it was drawing a lot of attention
from the news media.

And that prompted the letter.

Someone came forward and says, "Hey."

"The three guys in jail
you have didn't do it."

"And the reason I know is…"

Basically, "I did it."

The details that were depicted in that

clearly indicated

that the person that wrote the letter
was the person that committed the crime.

At the time, he was seeking identity.

The letter said, and I quote,

"I write this letter to you for the sake
of the taxpayer, as well as your time."

"Those three dudes you have in custody,

they know nothing at all.
I did it all by myself."

And then he starts to talk about
each person he killed.

"Bondage, hand-tied with blind cord."

"Feet and lower knees, upper knees,
and waist with a clothesline cord,

all one length."

"Death, strangulation."

The police department
had to have cold chills

because they have pictures
of what it was like.

He's describing it totally,
100% accurately.

He added a PS to his note.

"PS. Since sex criminals do not change
their MO or by nature cannot do so,

I will not change mine."

"The code words for me will be

bind them, torture them, kill them."

"B.T.K. You'll see he's at it again."

"They will beonthe next victim."

Of course, keep in mind you're not dealing
with a, quote, "normal" criminal.

You're dealing with a person
who is perverted, a person that is sick.

And with all probability,
assuming that the person is still alive,

that person is gonna kill again.

We had profilers from the FBI
that was providing us information.

And what we were being told was,
"If he's not killing here,

he's killing someone else…
somewhere else."

And so we put out
an alert to other departments

and we sent detectives
to several different places

to see if we had some kind of a killer
that was hitting other places.

And we could never
put those together at all.

And our conclusion was that the reason
we couldn't find this individual

is that he's one of us.

Now we have someone, locally,
that we need to concentrate on

and we need to identify.

Shirley Vian was a single mother.

She had three children.

She was home ill at the time
and was not feeling well.

So Shirley had sent
her six-year-old out to the store.

And then on his way back,
he's confronted with this man

with a briefcase,

and a discussion between them took place.

And as a result of that discussion,
whatever that was,

the man gained entry into the house.

The assailant locks the three children
in the bathroom.

They recognized that he's doing
something terrible to their mother.

So as a result of that,
they're able to escape

through the window of the bathroom

in order to scream and seek for help.

Once the assailant ran out of the house,

the kids go back in and, of course,
they find their mother dead on the bed.

When this case came in,
the investigators informed me

that after viewing the scene,
that they believed

that this could be connected
to the Otero case

because of the way the scene was left.

Twenty-six-year-old Shirley Vian
was found with a plastic bag over her head

and a cord looped around her neck.

Her children, who were locked
in a bathroom, told police

the attacker was a dark-haired man
in his late thirties or forties.

At the time, it was decided not to make
a direct correlation between them

until it could be determined for sure.

You will find a homicide
at… …South Pershing.

Nancy Fox.

43 South Pershing?

That is correct.

25-year-old Nancy Jo Fox

was found dead
in her Pershing Street apartment.

She had been bound and strangled.

The slaying was reported
by a man in a phone booth.

Police theorized the caller
was the murderer.

If you recognize that voice,
call 268-4156.

With the Nancy Fox case,
the phone line had been cut,

similar to the Otero case.

Based on the evidence that we had,
it was clear in our mind, at that point,

that the Otero case,
the Shirley Vian case,

and the Nancy Fox case

were a result of the same individual.

And that set the investigation off

for a serial killer.

On February 10th, 1978,

I received a call from Larry Hatteberg
asking me to come over

and look at a letter
that they'd received at KAKE Television.

The receptionist who sorted our mail

found this letter from BTK.

And she brought it back into the newsroom
and she handed it to me.

I opened it, I looked at it,

and I thought, "Oh my God, here we go."

We confront the chief of police.

We say, "We've got this letter."

"And here's the letter."

"In return, we would like you
to come and be on our newscast tonight."

And I thought he was going to say no.

And he called in the chief of detectives.

They conversed for about 20 minutes.

And then they come out, and he says,

"Okay, I will be on
your newscast tonight."

With us right now is
Chief of Police Richard LaMunyon.

I have a couple of questions, Chief.

How can you be sure
that the BTK letter is authentic?

There's absolutely no question
that the only person

who would have the type of information
that was included in the letter

would have to be the killer himself.

BTK began today's letter with a question.

"How many do I have to kill
before I get a name in the paper

or some national attention?"

BTK claims to have strangled
a total of seven women.

He provided a list of his victims,
beginning with the number five,

where he wrote,
"You guess the motive and the victim."

This was the first time that anyone
outside the police department

was made aware that there was a connection

between the Otero murders,
the Vian murder, and the Fox murders,

and a seventh murder
that hadn't been identified.

We have an obligation to the community

to figure out who this new victim was.

Any way that we could keep him
communicating with us,

hopefully, would give us
the opportunity to put together

enough evidence to get some answers
and find out who this individual was.

I always felt that Richard LaMunyon

was the finest police chief
that Wichita had ever had.

Richard LaMunyon was
one of those police chiefs who,

when he got on a mission
to find a criminal, he didn't let go.

He was like a dog, and he had
the information in his teeth,

and he wasn't gonna let anybody else
derail him from his mission.

This morning,
Police Chief Richard LaMunyon

met with detectives working on the case.

Police frankly admit
that they have lots of tips to check,

but nothing to indicate
a major break in the case.

Tonight, LaMunyon will gather
with a group of experts to study

all the available evidence
in the investigation.

In the letter to KAKE,
BTK talked about killing seven people,

but he did not name one of his victims.

There have been many
unsolved homicides over the years,

and police aren't sure
who the seventh BTK victim was.

Several sources in the department,
however, think it was Kathryn Bright.

In April 1978,

a man named Kevin Bright

was shot in the head, and ran outside,

yelling that there was a man in the house

that had shot him, and that
his sister, Kathryn, was in there,

and that he had come in to rob them.

Kathryn Bright's brother, Kevin,
had witnessed part of the murder,

and he was able to tell police,
to some degree, what happened.

We found Kathryn Bright,
stabbed, in her house.

Kathryn was a college student
at Wichita State University.

She normally came home alone.

In this particular case,
she came home with her brother, Kevin,

in the middle of the day.

The assailant was in the house,
already waiting on her.

Based on what Kevin told us,

once they entered the house,

the person in there had a gun on Kevin

and instructed him
to tie his sister, Kathryn, up.

He did so…

And then Kevin was taken to another room.

And he attempted to put
a nylon on Kevin's neck,

and that's when a fight ensued,
and Kevin was shot.

He fell to the floor and played dead.

Kevin was taken to the hospital
with head wounds.

We worked with him in an effort
to identify the assailant.

Kevin's description was pretty generic.

He was a Caucasian male,
perhaps around 30,

normal, 180 pounds…

Basically, he just couldn't help us.

Remember that it was only
until BTK said, "Yes, I did all these,"

that the demand that
something get done about it,

you know, quintupled.

And the feeling that he is still here,

and that he is still working,
and for all I know, he lives next door…

Which, as it turned out, he did.

Man, this street is beat up.

My best friend lived there.

I'd babysit people there.

My babysitter lived on the other side,
there, so this is it.

This is where I grew up.

They leveled it,
so it wouldn't be torn apart

by people selling it on eBay
piece by piece.

There was just a lot that happened when I…
after I spoke up in the media,

and it was like Wichita
kind of became this enemy territory.

So the first time I had gone
back to my yard was in '15.

I mean, I hadn't been in my yard
in that lot in ten years.

I mean, on one hand,
I can tell you like a million memories,

and what I did in this tree,
and what I did in that tree.

So this is where
Dad and I gardened all the time.

He had every kind of vegetable.
Then there was a flower garden here.

So all of this to here was garden.

There was a path here that came up.

There was a walking path back here.

And Dad planted grapes in here,
which was crazy.

They were gross and sour.

You almost can see… I think you can see
some of the vines still in there.

The grapes was one of his crazier ideas.

Um… Oh, is she taking photos?

Can somebody tell me
if she's taking photos?

No, she is not.

It's really hard to be there because it…

Like, it takes me back
to those places, right?

So even if everything was good
in my yard, you're still right there

by that house where everything
wasn't always good,

where you're right there where Dad was.

I mean, even today I can talk about it

down to the detail
of what my father has done.

My father has done what we know.

But to actually believe it,
it still goes in and out now.

Like, it's like, "Dad is BTK."

"Oh, what? Huh?"

It's like it doesn't come
all the way home still.

That's another thing. People push back
on it, they're like, "Wait."

Like, "Why is she saying in one moment,

like, she's a victim,
and then why is she crying,

or why is she upset?"

"And then the next minute she's talking
about how great life is." And I'm like,

because that's what my life was.

Like, it was mainly good,

with, like, these flashes of bad.

You know, and we just,
we didn't understand,

like, underneath that flash
was this whole iceberg of bad.

I mean, if you look at it, it's abandoned.
It's like, "What happened to my family?"

Like, the fence is all rotted
and torn down.

I don't even know why it's back there.

It's just all decayed and gross.

Our family, um, imploded.

You know, it took a long time.

But the, um, trauma
of my father imploded us,

and so here we are.

You guys don't have any respect
for other people's privacy.

She don't live here no more.

She doesn't have to go through this
on a daily basis.

You understand that?

Kerri Rawson got a gig
she didn't sign up for.

Everywhere she goes, when people
understand that BTK was her father,

then she becomes BTK's daughter.

How do you outlive that?

I've been hiding everything about
my father, my life, the abuse, the trauma,

because some public will absolutely,

like, treat you terrible
for being the kid of a serial killer.

Like, "What were you hiding?
Why didn't you know?"

"Why didn't you expose him to the world?"

I was waiting, really,
for somebody to come along

and give me a chance to help or talk.

Like, Osage County is having me
consult on this investigation.

It's not like I've chosen this.

Like, it's what I have been given.
It's my life.

And you have to choose what to do with it.

You ready to dig into this stuff?

Uh, always, never.

I think one of the things that's gonna
help with some of these answers

is getting you back up in this area

to see what your memories are.

And that helps us understand

and clarify the picture
of where your dad may have been

or where he really didn't have
any activity that you're aware of.

So, in the public, from '74 through '79,

there were these communications
being dropped in Wichita from BTK,

um, to the newspaper and the police,

news stations.

Weird letters, poems,

somebody claiming
to have murdered seven people.

This was all happening, really, before
I was born or right when I was little.

So, the last letter was sent in '79.

Later, I found out it was
the night of my first birthday.

My dad had a first birthday party for me

and then went out in the summer
in a jean jacket and sent a communication.

And that was the last
BTK communication for a long time.

He said later on that
having kids slowed down his murders.

Dad said he got busy raising kids.
Well, I think he got busy chasing me.

So, I have photos here,
and it's all, like, just a mix of years.

Like, one of the things I really enjoyed
with my dad was going to the Grand Canyon,

and so we went in '86, just the rim,

and then in '95,
we spent a week on the rim.

It was snowing, and it was cold,

and I actually slept in a tent
next to my dad because I was cold.

I was glad to have him
because he was warm.

We took these amazing family vacations.

We camped and hiked a ton,

did a lot of fishing
and camping in Kansas,

hiked up in Colorado, up around Durango.
The reservoir's up there.

We would do day hikes,
and we would fish for trout,

and we did traveling in, like, Yellowstone

and the Tetons, and all of that.

I mean, when you're looking
at these photos,

like, you just see a normal family, right?

My father just flew under the radar.

And they didn't find him for 31 years

because he was
literally right under their noses.

They weren't looking for
somebody like my father,

the everyday man
that actually does have a family.

The Otero murder was in 1974.

There was the Otero murder,
then another murder, then another murder,

then some other murders, and,
I mean, it was just… building onto itself.

And then… nothing.

Thirty years ago today, 15-year-old
Charlie Otero comes home from school

to find his entire family murdered,
and so begins the most infamous

unsolved serial killing spree
in Wichita history.

The newspaper did
a 30th anniversary story.

Thirty years ago,
the Otero family was killed,

then subsequent killings over that.

But we haven't heard from BTK since then.

No one knew what had happened to him.

There were lots of theories,
and I remember the theories were

that A, he was incarcerated
for another crime,

B, he had died,

or he had just left the country,
or left the area, never to be seen again.

When I first started here
in the Wichita market

in 1984 as an anchor,

BTK was like this, "Oh, by the way,
there's this thing called BTK."

"He killed in the '70s,
and everything's all right now."

"And he's either dead or in prison."

And… that's what it was, a legend.

No one thought twice about BTK.

He wasn't on anyone's lips.

And that's the reason why he reappeared.

This is a breaking news alert
from KAKE On Your Side.

Good evening, everyone. The serial killer
who terrorized Wichita for years

is causing new fears tonight.

Police now say it appears
BTK is back in Wichita.

And the way he reappeared

was so incredibly shocking.

He sent the Wichita newspaper

a driver's license from a killing

that nobody even knew he was a part of.

A letter received
by KAKE TV was turned over to us

last Wednesday.

We're proceeding on the possibility
that this letter is from BTK,

and we have turned this letter over
to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

After BTK sent that letter,
my boss came to me and said,

"Hey, we've been invited to participate.
You want to go?"

And I said,
"Well, absolutely, absolutely."

BTK claims in the letter that

Vicki Wegerle was his eighth victim.

She was found strangled
in her home in September 1986,

years after BTK's last known contact.

That letter included
photographs taken at a crime scene.

The crime scene was
of the victim, Vicki Wegerle.

And she was murdered in her home.

The thing about her murder is that
when the emergency services crew arrived,

the ambulance transported her from there
in an attempt to save her life

before any police detectives

or any photographs could be taken
at the crime scene.

There were no police photographs
of that crime scene.

But these photographs BTK sent us

clearly show that victim

in her home, basically dead.

And so we knew, whoever this was,
he was the real deal.

He was, in fact, BTK.

Can you imagine

how he was overjoyed by this headline?

That was his goal, to get the publicity.

He got it.

We were just as much in shock

as the average person on the street.

Everyone in the media,

and to a certain extent,
police officers, were like, "What?"

Just as everyone in Wichita,

KAKE employees were hoping
BTK was an old story, just an old case.

But now that police say BTK is back,
old fears return.

Stephen Relford was five years old
when BTK murdered his mother,

but what may be worse is that he
and his two siblings had to hear it all.

I still go through it today.

- You do?
- Yes, ma'am.

What do you go through?

I'm the one that opened the door to some .

Let him in, you know.

You never forget that.

It was one of the most shocking
revelations of my career.

And the worst part was

what was he gonna do next
to get publicity?

As soon as this started to hit the media,

the phone was ringing off the hook,

emails were coming in.

There were leads coming in,

people suggesting
who they believe BTK might be,

or whatever kind of tips.

And you can't work all those.

I mean, you can't handle
each and every one.

But which one do you decide not to work?
Is that the one that's gonna be the one?

It's very, very difficult.

Well, let me tell you what we got here.

Let's see. We got a very suspicious letter
that was sent to us.

The outside from a Thomas B. King.

The second communication he sent,
after he resurfaced, was to KAKE TV.

Yes, I'm Mr. Glen Horn.

And it was "The BTK Story,"

the bookhewanted to write about himself.

And then it said, "Chapter one,
chapter two, chapter three, chapter four."

"The BTK story. A serial killer
is born. Dawn. Fetish. Fantasy world."

"The search begins. BTK's haunts. PJs.
MO-ID-RUSE. Hits. Treasured memories."

"Final curtain call. Dusk.
Will there be more?"

The 13th chapter.

"Will there be more?"

Nobody knew whether
he wanted publicity that badly

that he would kill again.

The FBI, the Behavioral Sciences Unit,

gave us instruction
right from the start. They said,

"Your best chances of catching BTK are
if you can keep him communicating."

"Make him… feel comfortable

in communicating with you."

And after that, we began to receive
communications about every month

or six weeks.

Just last week,

three packages were sent
to a local TV station containing jewelry,

perhaps from a victim.

It was in the UPS box.

The UPS man opened an envelope
that contained pictures

and a letter from BTK.

Now he seemed
to dare them to come find him,

teasing them with cryptic clues
that may be true or may be not.

We knew he was watching us
because he would write things

that indicated that he was watching us
on a nightly basis.

I had mentioned,
during the ten o'clock news,

Jeff and I both have a cold.

We got the crud or something.

Two days later, we get a letter

and it said, "I hope
Susan's and Jeff's cold gets better."

I still

get the same…

complete feeling of fear in my body

when I talk about it.

This is one of the most challenging cases
that I've ever been involved with.

Uh, and I find that the individual doing
this would be interesting to talk to.

This one is a postcard, not a letter.

It says…

"Between 69th North
and 77th North on Seneca."

"Contents Post Toasties box."

"PJ Little Mex and Doll."

"Let me know somehow
if you or Wichita PD receive this."

So in this particular communication,

he gives another clue
to the police department.

There's a Post Toasties box
on this corner.

Right away, we sent a reporter
and a photographer out there.

It was way out on a country road
under a stop sign.

And we got all kinds of footage.

Lieutenant Ken Landwehr
and Detective Kelly Otis arrive

a short time later, and investigators
spend hours at the scene.

Police have asked us
not to reveal the location

until they have time to investigate.

The police came and got the cereal box.

They're the ones who opened it up.

And inside was a Barbie doll

with a noose around its neck.

Through his cereal box communications,

he expressed his desire to communicate
with us through floppy disks.

And, uh, he was concerned that
we might be able to track him down.

And he said, "Will it identify me?"

And then he said something
very interesting. He said, "Be honest."

And then after that, he directed us
to make our reply through the newspaper,

and say, "Rex, it will be okay."

Kenny Landwehr placed the ad,
just like BTK had asked.

And he followed up and sent us a disk.

The metadata indicated it had been used
at the Park City Public Library,

Christ Lutheran Church…

And then a username.

And the name was simply "Dennis."

Within minutes, cross-checking
the two organizations that was listed

showed that a person
by the name of Dennis Rader

was the Congregational President
of Christ Lutheran Church.

The IT people of Wichita PD were just,
you know, they were thrilled.

And eventually, they came up
with an address in Park City,

just outside of Wichita.

I was ready. I was like,
"This is it. Let's go get him."

But Kenny Landwehr said, "We need
to know absolutely that this is BTK."

"We need to get his DNA."

I noticed that his daughter
had attended Kansas State University.

And I knew from
having attended the university,

that, if you're a student there,
and you have any kind of medical issue,

you're gonna go through
Lafine Student Health Center.

And I said, "I'm gonna stop in
and see if they have anything."

Records indicate while she was a student
here, she had a pap smear.

They surrendered the sample to me.

I submitted it for DNA analysis.

And eventually, I got a phone call.

"It is the offspring of your BTK."

So the first phone call I made
was to Kenny Landwehr.

"Kenny, it's him."

"Oh. All right. We'll see you
first thing in the morning."

That morning, the newsroom
started picking up monitor traffic

from the police department,
and our assignment folks said,

"Something's going down in Park City."

"Don't know what,
but somebody needs to get up there."

We knew that Dennis Rader
worked for the city of Park City

and that he leaves
and goes home for lunch every day.

And so we set up
on a road adjacent to his home

and waited for him to drive around.

When he went by us,
the marked car pulled out behind him,

flipped on his emergency lights,
and got him to pull over.

In my mind, I was thinking,
"He's going to know this is the end."

"And I think he's gonna
want to go out in a blaze of glory."

And I didn't want that.

And I pulled up by the uniform marked car,

and I got to Dennis Rader's truck
just at the time he was opening the door

and starting to get out.

I just grabbed him and…

just spun him around,
took him straight down to the concrete.

At that point, I was joined by
several other members of the task force.

And we get him handcuffed, pick him up,

and I'm standing there,
still got a hold of him,

and he turns to me
and looks at me and says,

"Would you mind telling my wife
I won't be home for lunch?"

"I assume you know where I live."

My father was arrested in '05,
and I was 26.

And, you know, the whole world
just upended on me and my husband.

We had been married 18 months.

We were really just kids
living in Michigan, alone, no family.

And we had one interview
with the FBI that first weekend,

and then it was like…
"See you later. You're on your own."

I was extremely mad.
I was mad about the DNA.

I thought it was
an invasion of my privacy.

I was embarrassed about the pap smear.

Like, I was already mad at the police.
I was mad at the FBI.

I was mad at everybody.

It was just… Our lives were just gone.

Upheaval, totally insane.
I was just mad at everybody.

After the arrest, I got assigned
to execute the search warrant

of the house that Dennis Rader
lived in with his wife.

When I walked in the door,
the first thing I was confronted with

was pictures on the wall, above the couch,

that showed him and the family
attending K-State functions,

KSU functions, football games, whatever.
All kinds of things.

And I was like… And I was like, "Oh wow."

The stuff that we found in the house

just kind of created
more questions in my mind.

For example, as you enter the front door,

is a… like a coat closet.

But on the… on the shelf,

right above the coats, was a kill kit.

It was a little bag that had
pre-knotted ropes, uh, a bandana.

There were handcuffs, a .32 auto pistol.

The shed out back had
some interesting things in there.

Some trophies, jewelry.
Things that had touched their skin.

Clothing, underwear in particular.

He kept all of it.

Stuff that obviously could have been used,

might have been used
in torturing some of his victims.

As an investigator,
I found it very, very disturbing.

And I thought, "Boy, this is
really giving us a look at his mind."

This is the hot spot,
drawing hundreds out here

just to come by and see the scene.

Park City, a small community
where everyone knows everyone else,

or so they thought.

I talked to his wife,
and she was in absolute denial.

She said, "Oh no."

She was very nice, very cordial.
She didn't scream at us.

She said, "Oh no.
You've got the wrong person."

And while we were talking with her,
Kerri called in.

We didn't get a hold of my mom
until later that day.

And she was a mess. She was like me.

Her and I just couldn't compute together.

She told Kerri, she said,
"You know your father."

"You know this is not right. This is a…
This has been a horrible mistake."

"That is… He is not a killer."

"This is not him."

I didn't think I was gonna
make it through that night.

I mean, you're two people

who live together, interact together,

share a lot of things in common.

Do I think she… she knew anything?

No. Um…

Probably as close as she ever came

was…

They were sitting watching television,

and one of the media outlets

was reading one of the communications.

And after the news feature was over,

she said, "That BTK guy,

he writes just like you do."

And he…

He did not say anything,

but I got the distinct impression
down deep in my gut,

had she pursued that,

he'd have gotten rid of her.

- Dennis, I have a question to ask.
- Mm-hmm?

How do you think
we came to come to talk to you?

Well, I don't know.

Well, as a suspect,
I assume you have something on me.

Aren't you curious what it is?

Well, yeah.

Want us to share that with you?

His initial interview
was with Kenny Landwehr

and one of the behavioral scientists
from the FBI.

Kenny basically laid out,

you know, all the damning evidence
that we had against him.

- Do you know what that is?
- A floppy.

Yeah.

And I mean the reasons why there are
a whole… a whole lot of money

used on computer forensic people
is for kiddie porn.

- Pardon? No, no.
- It's kiddie porn.

And so the FBI and locals

got really good

at looking at people's disks

and being able to track those down.

- That's interesting.
- So if we get…

So if we receive something like that,
then we can go in there

and we can find that it came
from Christ Lutheran Church.

Then we can go to some
of those computers and find out

that the person that was
logged onto that would be Dennis.

And when it came to the DNA,
he knew that was it.

Kenny Landwehr told him,
you know, he said,

"We got your DNA match
through your daughter."

Things have occurred
medically with your children.

And I can take those samples.
I can test those.

And I know that BTK
is the father of your children.

That's what brings me to you.

Wow.

And I think that just…
That really sunk him.

You could tell.

He said, "Dennis."
He said, "Tell us, tell us who you are."

Why don't you just say it?

Guess you guys know…

- What else?
- Say it, say who you are.

BTK.

You're BTK.

Once he was able to say that,
to law enforcement,

I mean, the floodgates just opened,
and he talked about every crime.

Two crimes that we

hadn't previously linked to him.

That was project "Dogside."

That's the code name for her.

I basically had some free time
in the evening.

I killed her on a Friday night.

January 19th, 1991.
Dolores D. Davis abducted from her home.

Her body was found 13 days later

under a bridge
in Northern Sedgwick County.

Well, I proceeded to tie her up,

and then I think she realized that
that was gonna go bad.

She said, "Don't kill me, don't kill me."

And I slipped the pantyhose
over her head and strangled her.

Took her up there, dropped her off

under the bridge.

January of '91…

Now my mom is really sick,
and she's in the hospital

for like ten or 12 days with pneumonia.

And Dad's all stressed out
because he's out of work.

We don't have enough money.
He's trying to cook for us.

He couldn't cook. He made weird eggs.

Not long after that,
he murdered Mrs. Davis.

He put her body
in the back of our station wagon.

He then gave me that station wagon
to drive in high school.

I just… I was like, "No, that's not okay."

Thinking that Mrs. Davis
had been in that vehicle.

I have been assigned
the investigation of Marine Hedge.

And, uh…

I'd kinda like to know…
how did you get drawn to her?

Well, as I explained to the other guys,

I had a whole bunch of these
going on all the time.

I call them projects.
She was "Project Flower."

No, cookie, "Project Cookie."

I remember when I was six,

our neighbor, Mrs. Hedge,
had gone missing.

They found her body a couple weeks later,
and that she was found strangled.

Uh, I did this

on a Scout thing.

It's a good cover for a guy like me.

You go out and camp out and slip away.

I parked my car at the bowling alley.

I got my bowling bag, and I buy a beer.

I cut the phone lines,
pop this real quiet like,

and creep in here.

My dad's hit kit from Hedge's murder,

it was a maroon bowling bag,
old with a white stripe.

Dad didn't bowl.
We only went bowling a few times.

You know, why is my mom
not being… like, saying,

"Hey, why do you have
a bowling bag all of a sudden?"

But where it gets crazy is that after
he murdered Mrs. Hedge in her bed,

he carried her out in a blanket,

put her in her car, in the trunk,

took her to Christ Lutheran Church,
where we go to church.

And then he undresses her,
changes her clothes,

and he takes photographs while
he does bondage on her dead body.

So you'd already decided that
you wanted to take her to the church.

Whether alive or dead,
she was going to that church.

Basically, I was trying
to work toward the BTK lair,

the home, the torture chamber thing.

That's what I was working towards
in my fantasy world.

When I was a kid, I remember one Sunday,

I'm at Christ Lutheran Church,

and I'm climbing these really tall,

narrow pine trees
that I always climbed at church.

When they found Mrs. Hedge
a few weeks later,

they found some weird,
long pine needles next to her body.

And they didn't know where they came from,
because pines are pretty rare in Kansas.

To have a pine tree here,
you've had to plant it.

Those pine needles came from
those pine trees I climbed at church.

It was clear to me
that he was very proud of these killings.

He wished…

He wished out loud to us
that there were more.

He told us.
He said, "If I was a lone wolf,

without all my social obligations,
family, church, work…"

He said, "If I didn't have to do all that,

there would have been a lot more murders."

The national media
is starting to gather here,

and we're getting people
fromGood Morning America,

from CNN,Dateline, Primetime Live.

They will all be converging
on Wichita as the day progresses,

because this story is
a story of national proportions.

Of course, everyone's covering it live,
and the Wichita police chief says…

The bottom line… BTK is arrested.

A cheer went up in the crowd.

There was a crowd there
at that news conference.

And the national media was there going,
"Who are these people cheering?"

But they didn't understand
the relief we felt

that he was finally captured.

For the city of Wichita,
its police and its victims,

relief today after authorities
arrested 59-year-old Dennis Rader.

It's kind of unbelievable,
but it's good. It's good.

So we'll get rid of it all.

It'll all come out in the end,
and he'll get… what's due him.

It was a law enforcement team effort.

What do you think about the fact that

he's lived in this community
for all these years?

Living, breathing, working.

He's a smart, stupid son of a bitch.

It's all right.

I remember my brother calling me, um,
the morning of the press conference.

He said, "They're saying that
it's the Park City dogcatcher."

And I remember going, "What?"

I mean, "Park City dogcatcher"?
There's only one Park City dogcatcher.

That's Kerri's dad.

I'll never forget my dad going,
"There's no way it was Dennis."

And then I was glued to the television.

Neighbors who I've talked to
remember the people

who lived at the house
where the police converged on.

It's terrifying. My parents called me.
My dad was just about in tears.

Just the thought that… I'm a single mom
with my two kids in this house,

and this man's been in my house
several times.

I was totally, totally, totally shocked

that it could be anyone
from this congregation

or anyone that I knew.

During the time that I have known Dennis,
I can say that there is nothing

in our conversations that would even
tend to lead to these accusations.

He was a great Scout leader.

You know, it's just as he got older
and his kids got older and moved out,

he'd just kind of gotten a little weird.

I think the biggest shock for Wichita
was that he was just a regular guy.

Had a job, you know,
went to his work every day.

He had a family, had a wife,
he had two kids.

And he's a serial killer?

Everybody wanted an interview
with Paula or Kerri or her brother.

Everybody wanted that.

Of course, they're saying,

"How did you not know?
How did they not know?"

And I remember being
very, very protective of them,

that… they didn't know.

None of us knew.

He didn't just fool his family.

He fooled a church.

He fooled an entire city.

He literally fooled everybody.

That first weekend,
after my, um… father was arrested,

you know… like,
my mom was not well at all.

She was in shock. I was in shock.

Um, my grandparents were there.

My cousins were there.

My aunt ran out
and got Kentucky Fried Chicken,

like, with all the fixings.

And we all just, like, sat around and ate.

And to me,
it felt like being at a funeral.

And you're just sitting down,
and you're just having a meal.

And, like, even in that moment,
you're laughing a little bit,

or you're crying at the same time.

You're sharing stories.

You know, and my mom said,
really quickly then, she goes,

"It feels like your father has died
and that we're gathered here

after his funeral."

And I said, "Yeah, I know, Mom."

And then my mom, the first night,

she was, like, crying,
and she wanted me to sleep in her bed.

And I was like, I couldn't.
I couldn't handle it. It was too much.

I was still shaking
and still completely severed.

And I just… it was too much.
I could not. And I, like…

literally had to leave my mom, alone.

I just… I just… It was too much.
I just couldn't do it.

The relationship with my mother
is not existent at this moment.

It is estranged.

Um, we were good growing up,

and, um… good after the arrest.

But I toed the line.

You don't talk about it.
You just pull yourself up and go to work.

You don't tell people.

I'm the only one
that's public of my family.

I don't know.
It's frustrating as hell because,

like, Dad is still alive.
He's still my father, right?

So for my mom, she can divorce him.

She can cut him off. She has that power.

Separate her life, try to move on.

For me and my brother, we don't have that.

He's always my dad, right?
I look like him.

So for me,

I never thought of my dad as dead.

Early on, I… The pastor said
he thought it would help

if we would write my dad
and say what we needed to say.

So I started writing letters to my father
in March of '05.

"Dad, hello. I am physically doing okay."

"I am safe and home in Michigan."

"The media was reporting I turned you in."

"That's not true."

"I didn't know anything like everyone else
until the FBI knocked on my door."

"I tried to tell them
what a great man you are,

what a wonderful dad you are,

how they totally had screwed up
and arrested the wrong guy."

"I tried. We all did,
but they didn't listen."

"We don't know who that other man is,

but we love the husband and father
and man we know with all our hearts."

"I was wondering if something
happened to you as a boy

and if you wanted to open up
and talk about it."

"I'm so sorry
if something did happen to you."

"You should know it's not your fault if
something happened when you were little."

"Someday we would like answers if you're
able to give them or have them yourself."

I was trying to be really careful
in my letter, and not express anger,

not express too much emotion,
let him know I still loved him.

He returned my letter March 26, 2005.

"Dear Kerri, happy belated Easter wish."

"Thank you so much for your letter."

"I was overjoyed
with emotions and happiness."

"I was beginning to think

no family members
were going to write to me."

"Your letter was very sincere,

and I can tell it came from a very loving
and understanding daughter."

"Arraignment is on April 19."

"We talked about a plea for insanity,
but I don't know whether

the state hospital or the prison
will be the best in the long run."

He was wavering back and forth,

and we didn't understand
what was going on.

Like, you know what they have on you.

You did it. Just, you know, man up.

You know, it was frustrating,
so frustrating.

We didn't want to go through trial.

But then in June of '05,
my dad pled guilty,

and that was the first time
we had addressed it square in the face.

It's difficult to believe
that this is the man who authorities say

terrorized the city of Wichita, Kansas,
since 1974.

But Rader is charged
with ten counts of murder

in the cases that have
come to be known as BTK.

In the courtroom,
families of some of BTK's victims

got their first real look at the man
police believe killed their loved ones.

Please rise.

Dennis Rader's
preliminary hearing was in June of 2005.

And he pled guilty. We go,
"Okay, good, now we can go home."

No way.

Dennis Rader went into detail

of each murder.

I want you to tell me in your
own words why you believe you're guilty.

We will start off with count number one.

I had never strangled anyone before,

so I didn't know how much pressure
you had to put on a person

or how long it would take.

She was fighting.
I was basically losing control.

The strangulation wasn't working on her,
and I used a knife on her.

Got her a glass of water,
comforted her a little bit,

and then I went ahead
and tied her up, and then,

put a bag over her head and strangled her.

It was like this for 45 terrible minutes.

60-year-old Dennis Rader calmly,

even clinically, detailing
the ten murders he says he committed.

We stayed away from court.
We didn't want to be in there.

We couldn't handle the media.

We wanted the families
to have that time in court.

We didn't want to cause a disruption.
We just really could not handle it.

It was really, really hard
to hear him take a guilty,

and hearing it in his own words.

If you read much about serial killers,

they go through
what they call different phases.

That's one of the phases they go through
as a trolling stage.

Basically, you're looking for
a victim at that time.

But once you lock in on a certain person,
then you become a stalking,

and that might be several of them,
but you really home in on that person.

That's… That's the victim.

All right, is that correct?

All of these incidents, these ten counts,

occurred because you wanted to satisfy
a sexual fantasy, is that correct?

Yes. Mm-hmm.

All right, you may be seated, Mr. Rader.

That's Dennis Rader
describing ten brutal homicides

like it was a job.

You're right. It was like
it was just a job for him,

and he was just going
through the motions of his job.

My co-anchor and I were like,

"This is not happening."

Can you imagine being
his daughter or son or wife that day?

A lot of the stuff that came out,
I disassociated from it.

It was a disaster. It was… There was just…

I could not handle it.
You know, I just could not handle it.

All rise.

It promises to be an emotional
few days in a Kansas courtroom.

Formal sentencing
gets underway this morning

for serial killer Dennis Rader.

The proceedings have
blanketed Wichita, a town of 350,000,

where many have never
known life without BTK.

The district attorney, Nola Foulston,

had every intention
during that sentencing hearing

to humiliate Dennis Rader
to the nth degree.

What is that, sir?

This is a plastic, uh, mask.

Several search warrants were
executed around the city of Wichita.

Dennis Rader said,
"You'll find the mother lode in my office,

in my file cabinet."

It was an unlocked file cabinet,
so he felt obviously very secure

in maintaining these things here.

There was a lot of photography,

pictures that he had taken
over a span of time,

and a lot of drawings.

He had everything identified,
dates, alphabetized.

There was a cross-reference
so he could find stuff easily.

He basically created kind of a worksheet

of his projects.

These are devices that he took photos of.

When I was writing my dad,
Dad told us worse stuff was coming,

and I was like,
"What could be worse than murder?"

Oh, there are more of these?

He had hundreds,
if not thousands of those.

The district attorney
showed pictures of Dennis Rader

with nylon stocking over his own head,

and she wanted to show the world
what a sick human being this was.

All of a sudden, it's coming out
about my dad in bondage

and naked in my grandparents' basement,
dressed up in victim's clothing.

And it's just like
a never-ending show of hell.

The prosecutors are laying out
the horrifying details.

Some of the victim's families are right
there in court reliving the nightmare,

and today those families
will get to confront Rader himself.

Despite Dennis Rader's efforts
to destroy my family, we survived,

stronger and closer now more than ever.

Our love for each other
was forged with pain and loss.

As far as I'm concerned,
when it is all done,

Dennis Rader has failed
in his effort to kill the Oteros.

Although we have never met,
you have seen my face before.

It is the same face you murdered
over 30 years ago,

the face of my mother, Julia Otero.

The pain and suffering
that he has caused our family

and the loss of such a beautiful
young lady at 21,

he's got to go on and live his life,
31 years now,

with raising a family and children.

I cannot begin to explain to you.

There are not words to make you
understand what losing Nancy…

…has meant to me and my family.

I lost a friend, a confidant.

My children will never have an aunt,

and I'll never have another sister.

It's been almost 19 years now
that my brother and I

had the most important woman
in our lives taken from us.

It's not fair that
we had so little time with her.

Uh… I would only ask that
the court provide the maximum sentence

allowed by law to this monster.

I haven't… Um…

prepared for this statement, but…

you know,

I'd just like for him
to suffer for the rest of his life.

And,

you know, I don't…

Uh, that's all.

Speaking for my mother with us in spirit,
for my own family,

and I hope for the entire family
of survivors here today,

we dedicate this day to the memories
of those who cannot be with us.

Today we will each
silently remember a father,

a brother,

a wife,

a mother,

a sister,

a daughter, a grandmother.

While you agonize over the reality

that your last victims were
ironically your own family,

we will embrace
the new family we now have,

with whom we will always share
a common bond

forged from the pain
of adversity and loss.

The victims' families were incredible.

When the judge gave
Dennis Rader a chance to talk,

they did not want to make
Dennis Rader feel like he won.

Mr. Rader, do you desire
to say anything on your own behalf,

in mitigation of punishment?

And so, the victims' families
walked out of the courtroom.

Your Honor, Sedgwick County, the victims.

I do realize that
the crimes I've committed…

Should I continue, or…

Okay.

After the victims' statements,
they let him talk.

He's now got a shot to apologize

or say something meaningful or, you know,
say that he regretted everything.

And instead he gets up,
and he thanks everybody.

So he thanks the police, he thanks the DA,

he thanks the victims' families,
he thanks the judge.

It's, like, the most bizarre thing.

Mr. Rader, would you please stand?

Sir, based upon your plea,

which occurred on the 27th day
of June 2005 before this court,

I once again adjudge you guilty.

The judge sentenced him
to 175 years in prison,

and that is the last time
that man has been outside of walls.

After my dad was arrested,
I hadn't talked about any of this stuff.

I hadn't… I hadn't addressed any of it
for, like, ten years almost.

When people were like,
"Tell me about your life or your father,"

or, you know, just in casual conversation,

I would say I'm estranged from my father,
or at the most I'd say my dad is in jail.

I was following the Midwest code.
Don't talk about the bad things.

And then that night
I found out about Stephen King…

Like, when I… when that reporter
called me from theEagle,

it was like the first time
somebody had given me permission

to just talk, to just let it out.

And as soon as somebody said,
"No, it's okay, you can talk about it,"

it was like I let it… it got out of me,
and then I started healing.

In 2015, I started learning how to write.

It took me four years
to write my first book,

and then it became
a national bestseller in, um, 2019.

You are an incredibly courageous person
for writing this, for getting out there.

I've been through hell and I'm still here.
So my message is hold on.

Hope's just around the corner.
Don't ever give up.

When I'm sitting, like, here…

like, I'm surrounded by stuff like my dad,

like, photos of my dad,
my book with my dad.

I mean, a lot of who I am now,

and my identity, is unfortunately
wrapped into my father.

I've had some problems on Facebook,
and I've had, like, people email me

and Instagram message me, text me,

stalk me, threaten to kill me,

say things like they wish my dad
had left an 11th victim, which is me.

My trauma therapist said, recently, like,

"What would happen
if you just walked away from all of this?"

And I said it would be peaceful.

But, like, my reality is
my career is now tied into all of this.

If you look at this and look at that,

that's, you know, this pertains
to an unsolved homicide.

Um…

That's why I wanted
to visit with him about that.

"26-year-old mother
who disappeared Saturday

while out to dry her laundry
may have fallen victim to foul play."

Uh, "Denise Rathburn, 25,

left her home between 3 p.m.
and 8:30 p.m. Saturday,

pushing a baby carriage
full of wet laundry."

"She did not return."

How are you feeling about this area?

We used to drive bikes over there.

We would ride bikes over there.

- So we can go look and all of that.
- Mm-hmm.

We had a sit-down.
I got in my dad's records.

He had these little spiral notebooks,
and he would recreate notes,

and his projects, which were, like,
stalkings and sometimes murders

and breakings and enterings.
He's got, like, at least 70 or 80 of them.

And they're just… they just let me go.

Like, that stuff had been
in existence in evidence since '05,

but nobody had ever let me in, right?

Specific location things where we can
actually drive and physically look.

I'm reading through
my dad's notes, and he has a notation,

'81 for the year 1981.

I would have been… two, three.

In all caps, he has "Kerri/B and D,"
which is bondage/game.

And I see that, and I'm like,
"What the holy crap?"

And then there's another one…
right after that

that says, "Kids/bath/S,"

and that's for sex for my dad.

So I'm like, "Did dad molest me
in the bath when I was, like, three?"

And what is… why…
Why is my name on a bondage game?

And so I am, like, just full spinning
at this point. Really, really confused.

Maybe dad had been practicing in my room.

Was he practicing on me?

I had night terrors and issues
in my bedroom growing up.

Part of that night terror stuff,

wetting the bed,
scared of the dark, terrified in my bed,

had to do with something with,
like, a bad man in the house.

But it was like a home invasion thing.

That's what he did to victims.

I never knew where that came from.

I think my subconscious was trying

to get it out of me
since I was a little girl.

Saying, "Hey, there's
a bad man in my house."

Seeing my name in his own handwriting,
in his project notes, it's just a lot.

The only person talking to me, really…

or the only people talking to me
is Osage County.

So of course I'm going to get
pulled into their narratives, right?

We're trying to figure out,
"Did he do any more?"

I… I don't know if he did any more.

Everybody and their dog
wants a piece of me.

"Can we write your dad?
Can you get us in to your dad?"

There's very few people I can trust
at this point that want to get to know me

because it's all… It's all around my dad.

Then I get trolled on Twitter,

and people are like,
"You're nothing without your dad."

"You have no life and no career."

So I'm upset today.

Like, frustrated and angry and sad,

and wanting to give up,

and just… run away.

I was feeling really bad about
all of this, and my therapist said,

"You know what, law enforcement's
just looking into things,

and they're asking questions,
and that's okay."

Like, "That's their job. It's okay."

It really helps me
when somebody says it's okay.

They asked for me to go in
and see my dad in prison to find out,

did he commit any more crimes?
Are there any more murders?

If my father has committed more murders,

then we really do need to get
to the bottom of the truth,

and we need to get to it
before my father passes away.

They could tell I was anxious.

I mean, I hadn't seen him
for 18 and a half years,

but they're not getting in
to see my father without me.

So… no, I was not done with Dad.

I had worked for days
for things to talk to my dad about.

Law enforcement was with me.

They said, "You can't bring
the sexual abuse up."

"It's gonna cause him to shut down."

When we got to the prison,

you have to go by,
like, this inner watchtower,

and you go through
a series of, like, locked doors.

And I go in with two investigators,
a male and a female.

You know, he's frail.

He's in a wheelchair.

And he was literally, like, crying,
so happy to see me.

Like, just over the moon
to get to see his kid.

He's only, like, three or four feet
across from me at a table.

And then I'm in there
for a couple… two, three hours,

asking him questions
about everything that's going on.

I said,
"There's a series of missing women."

"There's these cases
that look like they could be you."

"They match your MO, or they're
close enough to it, or timeframes."

And he goes, "What are you talking about?"

And he said, "Can't we just reminisce?"

"Can't we just have a father-daughter?
Can't we just have memories?"

And I was like,
"Dad, that's not why I'm here."

He's dodging things,
saying he's forgetting things,

but then he has this really sharp memory.

Deny, deny, deny.

He's completely innocent,

that he's a saint, other than
for all the other things he did.

He said, "Oh, you know,
I just… It was just the ten."

And he turned on a dime.

He was angry about the investigation.

He was angry about the media.
He thought things were wrapping up.

You know, he was just angry.

So I shouldn't have done this.
I ended up asking my dad

about the notation in his journal.

I said, "Dad, what does
'Kerri Bondage game' mean?"

And my dad goes, "That was just a fantasy.
I never touched the family."

He goes, "You're just making stuff up
about me now to be, like, famous."

My PTSD just went…

Everything closed in.

I couldn't see. I couldn't think.

I was like, "That's it.
I'm done. I don't care."

And it was just, like,
a blast of, like, 45 years of anger

and everything at my dad.

I'm just, like, completely off script.

And I just nail him about everything,
about Mrs. Hedge,

the pine needles, about being six

and putting me in the back
of that Oldsmobile

that later he put Mrs. Davis's body in.

I'm just nailing him with all this stuff
that had been inside me.

It's just a big, huge ball of trauma,
and I'm just ramming him with it.

It was like I was back in my house
with that man coming home,

walking in that door, and you didn't know
who was coming home.

Is Dad coming home?
Is angry man coming home?

I was upset, and he's like, "Kerri,
Kerri, you brought this on yourself."

And he was literally, like,
gaslighting me, manipulating me,

lying to me, five feet from me.

It was like I wasn't talking to my dad.

It was like I was talking to,
like, a subhuman.

And so when everybody talks
about him being a psychopath

and a narcissist
and not wanting to be around him,

I had still been able to find humanity
in him, and then I wasn't able to.

I don't ever want to go
anywhere near that person again.

That's not my dad.
I don't know who that is.

I'll grieve those memories
and that girl and that family.

I lost all of it.

But I just didn't really want
to give him any of me anymore,

and I really didn't want
any of it in my life.

I started building space
between me and this really…

nastiness right over here in my father.

It was a decision to separate myself
from, you know, vileness.

How many years has it been since?

- What is that? Since high school.
- Twent… twen…

- Ninety-six?
- I can't math.

I can't either.

I know. I remember it's been, like, 25…

Twenty-seven.

No!

Twenty-seven since high school,
and 26 since our freshman year.

Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad.

Because then you add that to
how old you were, and you're like, "No."

You didn't make it to the reunion.

Oh God, I'm not going to no reunion.
Are you kidding me?

They'd be, "What was it like
growing up with him? You look like him."

- You guys know my mom. I look like my mom.
- That's what I would've said.

And nobody knows what my mom looks like,
so I'm like, "I look like my mom. Stop."

Anybody that knows me

before Dad's arrest know me
as Kerri and my family that way.

Right? And they respect that.

Andrea, I've known her since kindergarten.

Rita I've known since middle school.

And they still just see me as who I am.

I was talking to my husband
the other day, and I said,

"At the end of the day,
what I wish for Kerri

is that you find peace,

but able to live your life
without this black cloud."

- You deserve it.
- Yeah, you do.

You absolutely do.

I know.

I've learned to build boundaries.
I've learned to speak up.

I've become a public figure, you know,
to advocate for crime victims

and trauma victims and survivors,

and lend my voice, you know, not just for
people that have been through what I have,

but families like mine and…

you know, other victims.

I'm just going to keep
trying to use my voice and speak up,

advocate for other families when needed.

Every freaking headline
for the last ten years has said,

"BTK's daughter, BTK's daughter."

One got it right and said, "Kerri Rawson,
daughter of Dennis Rader, the BTK killer."

I want to be identified
like… Kerri Rawson.

On a bigger level,
I guess that that's how I'm identified,

but I'm so much more than that.

Good girl. That's a good girl.

I'm a mom, so I spend time with my kids
and we go to the beach.

I like to read and watch TV
and… like anybody,

and just chill out,
so I'm just a normal person.

And most days, I don't even really think
about who my dad is.

I don't think about him.

Come on, let's go get a drink. Good girl.

I'm just me.