Original subtitles

This is a VCA Pictures presentation.

The story you are about to see is unreal.

Only the people are real.

We're going to meet beautiful human beings playing out their fantasies.

They all have one thing in common.

They, like most of us, have developed the ultimate fantasy.

Double standards.

This picture depicts the extent of how far we go in keeping our fantasies alive and well.

Oh yeah, baby.

Suck it.

Suck it good, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, baby.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, baby.

Oh, God, my headache's gone.

Thank you.

That's the last drop.

I know.

Hello? Dr. Albert? This is Joyce.

Joyce Ryan? Yeah.

Dr. Albert, my neck is still killing me. I really need another treatment.

Could you make it this morning? Ten o'clock?

Great. I'll see you then. Bye.

I have to go to San Francisco for a few days, Joyce.

Why, Sam?

That stupid royal account.

I love you, Joyce.

I know, Sam. I know.

After Sam banged Joyce, he went on to San Francisco via Hollywood.

He loved her so much, he kept on thinking about her.

But as long as two people love each other and are faithful to each other, nothing else matters.

It's like that old song, Love in Blue. Bing Crosby sang it in the late 30s. It was beautiful.

At the Civic Center, we now have 67 degrees, 61 at LAX, Burbank and the Valley report a 71.

Long Beach has a reading of 67 and 66 in Santa Ana in Orange County.

The RA has reached or exceeded its expectations.

More Washington news after this brief commercial.

Brought to you by our local cheese dealer from Van Nuys, California.

Stewart Johnson offers his weekly specialty, steak and lobster,

Yeah, hop in.

Great.

It's a beautiful day.

Yeah, it sure is.

God, I bet people all over the world

would give anything for a day like today.

I bet.

Been standing there long?

No, just a little while.

Nice and hot, though.

Get a nice pant.

I'm going to my boyfriend's house.

Where are you going?

San Francisco.

Really?

That's a long drive.

Yeah, it is.

I've never been there.

It's nice.

Move over.

Are you driving alone?

I'd hate to drive alone.

Nobody to talk to.

It's been so long.

God, nobody to talk to.

It's such a drag.

It's been a passion.

Do I talk too much?

People tell me I talk too much.

No, you don't.

That's good.

I wouldn't want to bore you.

I wasn't going to my boyfriend's.

I'd go along with you.

Sure.

I got to go with my boyfriend.

We're really in love.

That's why I can't go all the way to San Francisco.

In the meanwhile, Joyce, Sam's faithful wife, continues to suffer from her neck pains.

It's terrible when your neck hurts.

She waits patiently for the doctor to arrive.

Perhaps massaging her breasts will help the pain.

In addition to the neck pain, Joyce seems to have developed an itch centering around her pelvis area.

Perhaps the doctor can treat that as well.

Doctors are wonderful.

They have, uh, such long fingers.

Not to mention, of course, magnificent bedside manners.

At least we met each other.

You know, I think people are destined to meet.

You think so?

Yeah, maybe. Just once.

Yeah, my girlfriend and I were reading a book about that, you know,

where people would meet each other and then they'd meet again in another life.

Doesn't that sound exciting?

Yeah, it does.

Maybe we'll meet again in a hundred years.

Only you won't be driving this car when we have you a picture.

That would be fun, wouldn't it?

Yeah, really, me driving in Jeff Blaine. That's a laugh.

It will. I'll ask when we think back about it.

You know, it'll have to be 30 minutes to drive across L.A.

and later, you know, it'll take only five seconds.

Yeah, we'll go.

Sam, Joyce's faithful husband, doesn't know what Joyce is getting.

He's too busy with Mary.

He's thinking about what he'll be getting.

But at least they're thinking about each other.

That's more than many married couples do.

It's very important that married couples think of each other.

It helps make a perfect marriage.

Poor Joyce.

Her pelvis itch is starting to develop into a real problem.

Where the hell is that doctor?

It's terrible to be late at a time like this.

I'm glad you picked me up.

You look like a really nice man.

Thanks.

It's OK.

Amelio, what's your sign?

Aries.

Oh, really?

Big and strong, huh?

My wife thinks so.

How long have you been married?

10 great years.

Sex life still going strong?

It's OK, I guess.

Come on, I bet it's not your fault.

Well, my wife's been having problems lately.

Migraine, headaches, and things like that.

I know what you mean.

My mom's been sick, too.

I had to pay her half of my rent money

just to pay for the doctor bill.

I'm sorry.

That's OK.

I'll get along somehow.

How are you going to pay the rent?

It's OK.

I'll work it out somehow.

Well, how much do you need?

$40.

Thanks. You really are nice, man.

Has it hurt you down here?

Yeah.

Maybe I can make you feel better.

That's a good idea.

Yeah.

Don't touch me, just the cock.

Come in, Doctor.

You again.

Doctor.

Shh.

You have a pain.

Turn around.

I need another treatment.

Does this hurt?

It's low.

Does this hurt?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me help you.

Prepare the table.

Now, should I get ready?

Yes.

While you get on the table, I'll turn my back.

Tell me when you're ready.

I'm ready now, Dr. McKay.

Put your hands down by your sides and relax.

You're in pain, Mrs. Ryan, because you've sinned.

Oh, Lord.

You're in pain, Mrs. Ryan, because the devil is in your soul.

Just cast out the devil.

The same devil that is infesting the souls of the children

of our school, the same devil that

is existing in the pornographic bookstores that are

in every corner of this nation, the same devil

that are in the actuated movie theaters in every town

on the map of the United States of America.

Oh, no.

Just a drop.

Oh, God.

Oh, and I'm coming for it, aren't I?

Squeeze it in the bottom.

Come on, squeeze it up there.

Yeah.

God, what a beautiful day.

Cast the demon out of your soul.

The same demon that is infiltrating the White House.

The present United States is run by homos and lesbians.

Oh, it's brilliant.

That felt great.

Thank you, sir.

I felt you deserved it.

You've been so nice.

I got to find the phone and call my wife.

She worries about me.

Me too.

I want to make sure that Ed's home.

We're going swimming, you know.

He's got a new house and a big pool.

I can't wait to see him.

Great when you're in love, isn't it?

Yeah, great.

Cast the demon out of your eternal soul.

Cast the demon out.

Hallelujah.

It's ruining our nation.

The RA is a cover up.

The RA is just a goddamn rotten cover up for the demon.

Hallelujah.

Cast the demon out.

We're gonna cover up for a demonic run.

Hallelujah.

Cast the demon out.

I'll pay you what you owe me.

Hello Joyce? Sam?

How do you feel?

When are you coming home, Sam?

Tomorrow, honey. Will I be glad?

I miss you, honey.

I know, Sam. I know.

I want you to know, Joyce, I've been faithful to you.

But when I get home, I'm gonna love you to death.

Joyce, look, I've gotta go now. Someone's waiting for the phone.

I love you, Joyce.

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Close your eyes. Close your eyes tightly.

Close your soul.

And keep the demon out. And keep the demon out.

Keep the demon out.

No.

No?

Does that hurt you?

Is it getting better?

Yeah.

Good.

Now turn my back, and you get dressed.

I think we're about done.

OK.

Thank you, Doctor.

Tell me when you're clothed.

I'm ready.

Good.

You feel better now?

Much.

Thank you so much.

Good.

I'll send you my usual bill.

You pay it promptly as usual.

Thank you very much.

I'll see you to the door.

Everything worked out beautifully.

Sam got his pipes cleaned out.

Joyce got rid of that pelvis itch.

The doctor got his fee.

And innocent Mary got her rent money.

She always believed in combining business with pleasure.

Meanwhile, at Ed's house, we meet his mom

and his little sister, Lisa.

They are devoted to their Uncle Pete, who is paralyzed.

Uncle Pete treats the mom and the daughter

to a low-calorie lunch.

And he is delicious.

Thank heaven for little girls.

Thank heaven for them all.

No matter where, no matter who.

Without them, what would little boys do?

Ready?

I didn't know you were there, Mom.

I was just daydreaming.

You're growing into a beautiful woman.

You see how you respond to me?

I completely forgot.

We gotta give Uncle Peter's bath.

I feel so sorry for Uncle Peter.

The doctor said he's going to be all right.

I'd say six months.

But he has to lay in that traction for so long.

Well, darling, when you get a little bit older,

time flies by real fast.

It won't be too long.

He's so lucky he didn't get killed in that accident.

I know.

Hurry up, Lisa.

Hello, Uncle Pete. Ready for your bath?

Well, and how is my favorite brother-in-law?

Well, how are you, darling?

Poor baby, can't talk.

Are you ready for your bath?

I think you'll be all right.

This is a drip pan, ooh.

Uh-oh, looks like Uncle Pete's nurse has arrived.

Right when Mom and Lisa are blowing,

er, I mean, massaging the uncle.

I wonder what she's going to do.

She'll probably be shocked with the incest going on.

I know I would.

She's walking over to the horny pool man.

He's always grabbing his crotch anyway.

Maybe she wants to ask him for the time.

on her knees, maybe she's going to take his pulse.

If she is, there better be numbers on his thermometer.

Now I see. She's going down on it.

She must be the head nurse. Get it?

Head nurse?

The nerd of a pool man is having himself a day.

He sees Mom and Lisa getting on with the uncle,

and then he's getting blown by the head nurse.

I wonder where I can get a job like that.

Mom has a busy day.

She takes valuable time and instructs her daughter Lisa

how to give good oral massage.

Uh-oh. Get that last drop, Lisa.

It contains vitamin C, or so they tell me.

Anyway, the lanolin is good for you.

And you don't have to go to ______ to buy it.

All you have to do is put it in your mouth and suck.

Nice and clean and fresh.

Serves that asshole right for being such a nut.

But at least he got a blow job out of the deal.

And the nurse is going to come

and give you a shot very shortly.

It's a natural high, Uncle Pete.

Oh, isn't it?

Hi, Joan.

We just finished with Uncle Pete's bath.

Hi, Lisa.

Jane, of course, Pete.

My, you look happy today.

I should be.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Well, every girl should get married at least once.

Anyone special?

Very.

Well, congratulations.

We've got to run now, so take good care of Pete, all right?

Congratulations.

I hope you have fun.

See you when I get back.

OK, bye-bye.

Time for your shot.

Well, it looks like everything is wrapped up on Uncle Pete's end.

He got his blowjob, I mean his massage.

The nurse will be happily married.

Mom got off, I mean she helped Uncle Pete.

And Lisa's sexual education grew by leaps and bounds.

Mom went into the house to make cookies for her son, Ed.

Poor Ed. He's waiting for his love Mary, who was on her way.

Isn't it great when everyone helps each other?

It's like that saying, love is universal.

What goes around, comes around.

Hi.

Hello, darling.

Give me a kiss.

Are you happy to see me?

Oh, what a windy day.

Oh, thanks.

You've been working so hard lately.

You know, I really love this house.

So do I.

If only I could keep up the rent.

Well, look, don't worry about it.

It's going to be all right.

But you know, I've really got to go.

Now make sure that you eat all your cookies.

Thanks, Mom.

Bye, darling.

Bye.

Moms and cookies.

Lisa, mom's foxy daughter, had a picnic date with her friend Eve.

They had a lot of girl talk to do.

Eve was a beautiful girl.

It was lucky that they were both straight because they really liked each other.

The picnic was well planned.

The menu called for hair pie for dessert.

It's so lovely here, from the hustle and bustle of the city.

You're entering my world now, Lisa.

Just relax and go with it.

I feel so free.

No hang-ups or pressures.

That's the way it should be.

You should only feel love.

If her friends could see us.

What about my boyfriend?

He'd die.

He thinks he's so macho.

My brother or mother would never understand us, Eve.

They don't have to.

All we have to do is understand each other and love each other.

Like we're doing now.

I had a macho boyfriend once.

He was a thumper in and out.

He always missed my clit.

But I like men. I'm glad I'm not gay.

That would be awful.

You're beautiful, Lisa. I love you, Eve.

Guess who?

Uh...

Silly, she's taller than me.

Yeah, but not nearly as boxy.

I love you.

Hey, you wanna go swimming?

Sure, I'd love to.

What are you waiting for?

Where can I change?

Come on over here.

This is a good spot to change.

Go ahead.

Cover your eyes and don't peek.

Callie, Lisa, I want you to share my love.

This very moment, I want you to love me.

Tomorrow, it can change.

But today, I want you to love me.

Hey, come here. You don't really want to go swimming, do you?

Suck it.

I don't really want to suck on it.

Well, just lick it a bit, then.

Just put it in your mouth a little bit.

Come on.

Just a little.

Just the head.

That's right.

Put it in your mouth.

Suck it. That's nice.

Suck on it.

A little bit more.

Come on.

That's better. Come on. All the way now.

That's not so bad, is it?

Yeah, I like it. Let me take this off. It's getting warm.

Take my pants off.

That's much better.

Pull on them.

Now it's time for an incredible massage.

Oh, I love massages.

Uh-oh.

Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.

Oh, God, how gross.

God, I told you not to get it in my mouth. That's sick.

Sick.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll make love to you now. Come here. Lay down.

Do you think you could get into my world, Lisa?

I don't know, but I sure enjoy myself.

Well, that's a start.

We now gracefully leave innocent Mary and Ed after he closed her barn doors, or more correctly, opened them.

That was a nasty thing of Ed to do to come in Mary's mouth. He should have known that she never does those things.

Here comes a just married couple. His goose is cooked.

The poor schmuck doesn't know that she decided to marry him.

He's so macho, he thinks he decided to marry her.

Let's watch our fair maiden handle her grand opening.

Or should I say, rear opening.

No, I'll get it.

There you go.

You want to clean the shit off this car?

Yeah.

A dime!

Thanks.

I'll go buy some gum.

There's nothing so powerful as lust, especially when one does not admit it.

Here comes Miss Prissyface.

She's ready to do a number on that poor, dumb bellhop.

He won't know what hit him.

Thanks a lot, toots.

Damn it.

Joe? Hey, Joe.

Yeah, Joan, what's the matter?

Can you come here a minute, please? I can't get this damn zipper open.

I'll be there in a minute, honey.

I can't wait to get out of this sticky, hot dress.

Me either.

Joe, don't be so impatient.

I mean, we got a whole lifetime ahead of us.

What a turn on.

You know, I can see why the dirty old men watching the strip-tease shows get into doing this.

Am I permitted to do this?

Only because we're married.

I mean, otherwise you would be a dirty old man.

You know, Joan, I could get to enjoy this.

Well, you better save some for me.

Hello, room service please?

Yes, thank you.

Hello, room service?

This is Ms. Rawlings, room 105.

Yes, yes, I'd like to order a pot of hot tea,

some toast, a slight amount of butter,

a little bit of raspberry jam.

Yes, that'll do it.

Yes, thank you, thank you, bye.

You know, I feel kind of funny.

Why?

Because it's legal now.

It's not quite as much fun.

Well, it might not be as much fun.

Sure feels good, Jody.

Well, I guess you're right, Joe.

It does feel good.

I get hungry too, you know.

So tell me Joe, do you wanna fuck Molly?

Is that what you want, Joanie?

Uh-huh.

You want me to fuck you?

For God's sake, just put it in me.

I can't copy Cherry.

We already did that on our engagement night.

Come on, Joe.

I want it now.

No.

No.

I want to say, fuck me.

Fuck me.

Fuck me, Joe.

Fuck me.

No.

Say fuck me again.

Fuck me.

Fuck me in my cunt.

Cunt? I'm not your asshole.

Oh no, Joe. That would hurt me, wouldn't it?

Well, if you relax.

Uh-uh. Just fuck me.

Ooh, my concha, that's nice.

That's so nice of my cunt.

I'm so glad you didn't put it up my ass.

Much better, Joe.

I love it.

Ooh, that feels so good.

You like getting your cut?

Yeah.

I'm so happy you didn't put it in my ass.

I hate to do that.

Come on, let me get that joint.

Ooh, that feels so nice, my cut.

Yeah, you have such a nice cut.

OK.

I'm so happy you're not fucking me in the ass.

Heh.

Feels so nice.

Oh Joe, I love you so much.

Son of a bitch.

Yes?

Room service.

Go ahead, set it down right there.

It's cold.

And I was gonna give you a big tip.

Ma'am, I could take it right back for you, okay?

No, no, no, never mind.

Never mind.

You can do something for me though.

Yes, ma'am.

You can let me suck your hard cock while you ream my asshole.

Why?

Come on now, don't be bashful.

A good-looking man like you probably has many offers.

Well, I don't know.

I want you to suck my clit just how I like it while you ream my asshole.

Let me suck your hard, throbbing cock.

Ooh, and it's such a big one too.

Come here.

This must be the twilight zone.

I've gotta be dreaming. This can't be for real.

Holy shit.

Ooh, beautiful pussy.

Right there.

Right there?

Yes.

Point to it.

Right there.

Like that?

Yes, like that.

Oh, yes.

Oh, that feels good.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

God, you are wet.

Oh, let me clip.

Can we forget about the breakfast?

Forget about the breakfast.

Just suck my clit.

Ooh, yes, suck my clit.

Oh, suck my clit.

Faster.

Faster.

Stick your finger in my vagina.

Ooh, baby.

Move the muscle.

Let me see you move the muscle.

Move it.

Oh, yeah, that's nice.

Do that again.

Oh, that's nice.

Stick your finger in there.

Yes.

Oh, stick two fingers deeper.

Oh, rub your tongue around my clit.

Oh, put three fingers.

Oh, yes.

Rub them around.

Move your tongue around my clit.

Oh, beautiful pussy.

God damn.

Oh, yes.

I can't do the right roll.

Oh, yes.

Oh, deeper.

Deeper.

Oh, yes, harder, harder.

Oh, suck my clit.

Suck it.

Deeper.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

I want to suck your cock.

I want you to take your clothes off so I can suck your hard cock.

What's the deal?

Would you love me to suck your cock?

Suck in my clit.

You have a nice cock.

It's nice and big.

Oh, yes.

Let me see your tits.

Right there.

Ooh, baby.

Oh, yes, just like that.

Take your clothes off.

I want you nude.

You want me nude?

So I can suck your rubber cock.

Yes.

Take off your clothes.

Come on.

Join me.

You have a nice body.

Oh, yes.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck me.

Oh, your cock's so big.

Oh, I love it.

Ooh, come back, come back, baby.

It's all right, baby.

It's all right, baby.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, fuck me.

Oh, yeah.

It's so good.

I like it deep like that?

Yes.

I like it deep.

I might just tease you like this.

Come on, put it in.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Oh, oh, oh, yes.

Yes.

Shake on that, rock on that.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck me doggie style.

You want a doggie?

Yeah.

You should have fucked me a doggie.

Come here, baby.

Come on, pop back.

That's it, play with yourself.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Come on, baby.

Let me see that cute little ass.

Ooh, go back like that.

Ooh, that's so nice looking.

Ready?

Yes.

Here goes.

Now come back on me.

You ride me, come on.

Come back.

Ride it, baby.

It's all yours, come on.

Oh, yeah.

I love your cock.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Here goes, watch it up on me.

That a baby.

Like that?

Cock in your pussy and finger in your ass.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Let me suck your cock.

Yes, yes.

Go to it.

It's all yours.

Just look at your mouth.

Just your mouth.

Go to it, honey.

Yes.

Just tickle the tip.

Tickle the tip, sweetie.

Oh, I suck on it again.

Just like that.

Okay, 10 seconds, I'll come.

Sock on.

Keep socking, keep socking.

Keep socking, keep socking.

Keep socking.

Sock honey.

Here goes.

Come on, come on, little tits.

Oh yeah.

What are you doing?

What?

What are you doing?

I just came when you had tits.

There's $20 on the dresser for you.

Go ahead, take it.

There's spore.

Come on, take it.

At least it's not a dime.

Sorry, this is the twilight zone.

Prissy-faced lived her fantasy.

She fucked the shit out of the bellhop.

Now she flies back to her husband, three children,

and resumes her librarian duties in that buddy metropolis

of goose-egg Wyoming.

She, like all our characters, have one thing in common.

They all live the double standard.

And what happened to those who practiced the art

of the double standard?

Sam married the preacher.

The preacher gave him herpes.

Joyce, Sam's wife, shares a one-bedroom with Eve,

and they are happily married.

Ed is still living in his house and performing incest

with his mom.

She's out hooking to help him pay for his rent.

Lisa ran away with a pool man.

Joan, our blushing bride, got divorced

and married the bellhop.

They attend swing parties daily.

Joan's husband, Joe, is now a confirmed transvestite

and has been cruising to Castro in San Francisco.

This has been another snowflake film directed by Adele Robbins.