All language subtitles for Corner Gas (2004) S01E11 (1080p CTV WEB-DL H264 SDR DD 5.1 English - HONE)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:05,238 THE SIGN, I JUST SAW THE SIGN. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,640 WHAT KINDA SIGN, SIGN OF THE TIMES? 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,242 FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE? 4 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,077 A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE? 5 00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:14,180 NO. AND IF I DO SEE A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE, 6 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,182 I'LL SAY, "THE SIGN IS NIGH." 7 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:19,019 I'VE SEEN AN ACTUAL SIGN LIKE THE ONE WE RENTED 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,021 TO PUT OUT BY THE HIGHWAY. 9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,656 OH, THE SIGN! DID YOU COME UP WITH A SLOGAN? 10 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,993 YES, I DID. AND IT PUSHES BOTH CORNER GAS AND THE RUBY. 11 00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:30,196 YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO TOSS THIS WORD AROUND LIGHTLY, 12 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:31,698 BUT I THINK IT'S PITHY. 13 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,199 WELL, GOOD. 14 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,202 JUST AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T PUT SOMETHING STUPID ON IT 15 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,338 LIKE "EAT AT THE RUBY AND GET GAS." 16 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:41,574 WHOA, WHOA! HOLD UP. 17 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:46,012 WE'RE DOIN' REWRITES. 18 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:49,716 ♪ YOU CAN TELL ME THAT YOUR DOG RAN AWAY ♪ 19 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:53,219 ♪ THEN TELL ME THAT IT TOOK THREE DAYS ♪ 20 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,556 ♪ I'VE HEARD EVERY JOKE I'VE HEARD EVERY ONE YOU SAY ♪ 21 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,796 ♪ YOU THINK THERE'S NOT A LOT GOIN' ON ♪ 22 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,499 ♪ LOOK CLOSER BABY YOU'RE SO WRONG ♪ 23 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:10,136 ♪ AND THAT'S WHY YOU CAN STAY SO LONG ♪ 24 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,239 ♪ WHERE THERE'S NOT A LOT GOIN' ON ♪ 25 00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:18,178 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SENDING ME IN WITHOUT BACKUP. 26 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,380 IT'S JUST A FISHING TRIP, KAREN. 27 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,650 BUT IT'S WITH HANK, 12 HOURS, KILLING FISH. 28 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,619 IF IT GETS TO YA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL 'EM, 29 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:28,354 JUST THROW HIM INTO THE LAKE. 30 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,256 I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT THE FISH. 31 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:32,258 I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE FISH. 32 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,494 I ONLY SIGNED ONTO THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT 33 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,597 IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE A COP BONDING THING. 34 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,899 NOW I'M BONDING WITH HANK. 35 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,835 ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T COME? 36 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,537 THIS GUY IS THE BEST AROMATHERAPIST ON THE PRAIRIES, 37 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,340 AND WHEN A SLOT OPENS UP, YOU JUMP FOR IT. 38 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,776 I'M ALL GASSED UP, READY TO HIT THE ROAD. 39 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,711 HEY, SORRY, AGAIN, I HAD TO BAIL. 40 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,681 HEY, I UNDERSTAND. AROMATHERAPY'S AROMATHERAPY. 41 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,517 YOU READY TO GO? HEY, PUNCH BUGGY. 42 00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:02,188 I'M JUST WARMIN' UP, A TWO-HOUR DRIVE. 43 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,290 GIVE ME YOUR GUN. 44 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,792 DON'T WORRY. 45 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,495 HANK IS DIFFERENT WHEN HE FISHES. 46 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:09,996 HOW? 47 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:13,266 JUST... DIFFERENT. 48 00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,972 BRENT, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR CANNED PASTA? 49 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,241 NOT CANNED PASTA, ALPHAGETTI . 50 00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,976 HER MEMORY'S GOING. 51 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,311 I REMEMBER. YOU WANT ALPHAGETTI. 52 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,981 IF YOU REMEMBER, WHY DID YOU BRING HOME DINOGETTI? 53 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,415 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 54 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,118 YOU CAN'T SPELL WITH DINOSAURS. 55 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:33,386 THE ALPHAGETTI'S OVER-- 56 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:37,390 I KNOW WHERE IT IS. I'M STILL PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK. 57 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,292 WHY DO YOU INSIST ON ALPHAGETTI? 58 00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,060 YOU WON'T EVEN EAT THE Es. 59 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,429 OH, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU DON'T EAT THE Es. 60 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,198 THEN WHY ARE THEY IN THERE? 61 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:46,699 BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE ALPHABET. 62 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,135 YOU'D KNOW THIS IF YOUR MEMORY WASN'T GOING. 63 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,271 I WISH MY MEMORY WAS GOING. 64 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:54,574 THEN IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED. 65 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,477 WHY ARE YA HARRANGIN' MOM? 66 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,779 SHE'S ALWAYS RIDIN' ME ABOUT EATING THE Es. 67 00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:03,082 EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU DON'T EAT THE Es. 68 00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,251 WELL, HER MEMORY SEEMS FINE TO ME. 69 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,154 YOU'RE NOT SO QUICK YOURSELF. 70 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:11,758 I'M STILL SHARP AS A WHIP. 71 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,634 HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW SLOGAN? 72 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,136 I'M CHANGING THE SIGN. 73 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,338 IT'S A JOKE. PEOPLE LIKE THAT KINDA THING. 74 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,874 PLUS I CHOSE A SLOGAN WHERE THE LETTERS 75 00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:31,177 COULDN'T BE REARRANGED TO SPELL ANYTHING EMBARRASSING. 76 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:32,378 WHAT SLOGAN? 77 00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:36,482 COME FOR THE OIL CHANGE, STAY FOR THE GREASE. 78 00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:39,819 CHOOSE GLEN FREY FOR A MENAGE A TRIOS. 79 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,826 YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT SPOOKY AT ALL. 80 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,696 YOU'RE NOT EVEN THINKIN' ABOUT IT. 81 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,698 HANK, I DON'T CARE. 82 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:56,436 YOU DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE COOL IF STAR WARS FOUGHT STAR TREK ? NO. 83 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,538 YOU'RE NOT CURIOUS WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT 84 00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,540 BETWEEN DARTH VADER AND MR. SPOCK? 85 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,475 I THINK YOU PRETTY MUCH COVERED IT 86 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:04,544 IN THE TWO-HOUR DRIVE. OKAY? 87 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,918 DON'T BOTHER CHECKING. IT'S RIGHT. 88 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:19,459 MY THIGHS ARE HOT FOR GOAT FELONS. 89 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:23,496 MY THIGHS ARE HOT YEAH. FOR GOAT FELONS? 90 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,999 I--I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WORK HERE. 91 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,802 WITH YOUR ABILITY TO INSTANTLY REARRANGE LETTERS, YOU COULD... 92 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,839 OH, YEAH, THERE IS NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION FOR THAT KNOWLEDGE. 93 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,474 AT LEAST I HAVE AN ABILITY. 94 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,875 I HAVE ABILITIES. YEAH? 95 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:38,211 I COULD HAVE BEEN A PROFESSIONAL SINGER. 96 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:43,116 ♪ IT WOULD NEVER RAIN IN DOG RIVER ♪ 97 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:49,455 ♪ IF I COULD SQUEEGEE THE SKY ♪ 98 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,559 YOU SHOULD BE ON BROADWAY. 99 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,029 THE VELVET FOG HAD BETTER WATCH HIS BACK. 100 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,097 THIS GUY IS THE REAL DEAL. 101 00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,099 I FEEL BLESSED. 102 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,340 WELL, IT IS PRETTY. 103 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,475 OH, YOU SHOULD SEE IT IN THE FALL. 104 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,478 IT'S SPECTACULAR, ALL THE CHANGING COLOURS. 105 00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:16,516 LOOK AT THE LAKE, A SHIMMERING MIRROR OF SILVER RINGS 106 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:19,352 RIPPLING TOWARDS DISTANT SHORES, 107 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,922 RECEDING INTO A BURNT ORANGE SKY. 108 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,226 WE'VE GOT A LONG WALK AHEAD OF US. 109 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,768 OKAY, THAT WAS DIFFERENT. 110 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,674 WHERE'S MY ALPHAGETTI? I BOUGHT IT, THEN I LEFT IT HERE. 111 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,177 YEAH. THEN YOU CAME BACK AND PICKED IT UP. 112 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:47,313 DIDN'T HE, WANDA? YEP, ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO. 113 00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:49,549 I DID NOT. 114 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,318 DID NOT WHAT? GET MY ALPHAGETTI. 115 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:53,753 YOU FEELIN' OKAY, DAD? 116 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,456 WHERE'S MY ALPHAGETTI? IT WAS RIGHT HERE ON THE COUNTER! 117 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,358 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, MY MISTAKE. 118 00:05:58,491 --> 00:05:59,659 WE'LL GET YOU SOME. 119 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,661 DON'T HUMOUR ME. 120 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,996 I'M NOT HUMOURING YA. 121 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,832 HERE YA GO. 122 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,100 THANK YOU. 123 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,102 YOU GONNA PAY FOR THAT? 124 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,070 I ALREADY PAID FOR THIS. 125 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:14,640 OH, UM, COME TO THINK OF IT, UH, OSCAR ALREADY PAID. 126 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,642 OH. OKAY. 127 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,911 IF YOU SAY YOU DID, THEN YOU DID. 128 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,480 MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN. 129 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,981 STOP IT! 130 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,755 THAT'S FUN. 131 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,590 YEAH. THANKS FOR PLAYIN' ALONG. 132 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,059 I'M TORTURING DAD BECAUSE HE'S BEEN BUGGIN' MOM ABOUT-- 133 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,195 AH, IT'S OKAY. I DON'T NEED A REASON. 134 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,135 YOU REALLY LIKE FISHIN', HUH? 135 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:47,640 FISHING IS ABOUT THE INTERPLAY OF AIR AND WATER, 136 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,276 CHANCE AND SKILL, 137 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,578 GRACE AND ART. 138 00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:55,715 WE ARE LINKED TO INFINITY BY A SHIMMERING STRAND 139 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:59,152 NO THICKER THAN A QUARTER POUND LINE. 140 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,054 YEAH. 141 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:08,161 IT'S HOT. 142 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,703 AHH. 143 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,184 THAT WAS WEIRD. 144 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,020 DO YOU WANT SOME BUG SPRAY? 145 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,789 NO, I'M--I'M--I'M GOOD. 146 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,252 MINE WAS PITHIER. 147 00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:07,620 I LIKE IT. 148 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,655 ENJOY A MEAL AT THE RUBY. 149 00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:11,991 SLOW SERVICE. MAKES ME LOOK BAD. 150 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,693 IT'S JUST A JOKE. 151 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:15,461 PEOPLE LIKE THAT SORTA THING. 152 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,296 EXCEPT IT'S NOT FUNNY. 153 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,598 OH, OKAY. I SEE. 154 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,400 YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE PITHY, BUT I CAN'T BE PITHY. 155 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,402 YOU JUST HAVE TO BE PITHY. 156 00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:25,371 THIS ISN'T PITHY. THIS IS MEAN SPIRITED. 157 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:27,440 THIS IS PITHY. IT'S NOT PITHY. 158 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,941 PITHY. 159 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:31,177 I PRIDE MYSELF ON MY SPEEDY SERVICE. 160 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,580 HOLD ON! 161 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:42,421 WHEN I FIND MYSELF IN THE DAPPLED SUNLIGHT ON THESE SHORES, 162 00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:45,258 EXISTENCE FADES INTO THE SOUND OF WATER. 163 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,760 ALL THE WORLD IS A LAKE, 164 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,130 EACH MOMENT A DROPLET IN A TORRENT OF WATER 165 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,200 THAT BEGAN BEFORE TIME. 166 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,903 I LIKE FISH. 167 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,638 WELL, WE SHOULD GET GOING. 168 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:01,073 NO, WAIT! KEEP--KEEP TALKING ABOUT FISHING. 169 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,276 UM, DO YOU--DO YOU HAVE ONE THOSE JACKETS, 170 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,378 THE VESTS WITH ALL THE POCKETS? 171 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,180 WELL, YOU KNOW, FISHING IS LIKE A POCKET. 172 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,516 WE STOW AWAY EACH PRECIOUS MOMENT-- 173 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,419 KISS ME, FISH MAN! 174 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,060 YOU CALL THAT PITHY? 175 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:30,937 HEY, UH, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE FISHING MAGAZINES, DO YOU? 176 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,638 HMM? 177 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:36,509 YOU KNOW, WITH PHOTOS OF GUYS FISHING? 178 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,277 ARE YOU OKAY? 179 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,012 I--I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HANK. 180 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,314 WHAT? 181 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,316 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM. 182 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,619 YES, MAYBE WE MADE OUT AND MAYBE IT WAS INCREDIBLE, 183 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:49,155 BUT I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HANK. 184 00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:52,391 ARE YOU HAVING SOME KIND OF A SEIZURE OR SOMETHING? 185 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,394 HEY. 186 00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:58,297 HEY, WANDA, YOU GOT ANY EXPIRED MILK I CAN TAKE HOME? 187 00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:00,199 HUH? 188 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,902 I NEED TO GO HAVE A SHOWER. 189 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,939 YEAH, ANYTHING EXPIRED. 190 00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,480 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY MEMORY. 191 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,449 I'M ON THE BALL. 192 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,619 I'LL TELL YA WHEN I GET OFF THE BALL, 193 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,153 WHICH IS NEVER. 194 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:22,655 SOMETHING WRONG WITH OSCAR? 195 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,358 HE'S JUST WORRIED BECAUSE HIS MEMORY'S SLIPPING A BIT. 196 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,059 IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET OLDER. 197 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:29,295 NONE OF US IS GETTING ANY YOUNGER. 198 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:32,098 NOW THAT'S TRUE. I'LL GET YOU YOUR BILL. 199 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:35,334 MY MEMORY IS NOT SLIPPING. I'M AS SHARP AS I EVER WAS. 200 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,170 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU TWO ARE TRYING TO PULL. 201 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,839 YOU GETTING PARANOID, TOO, DAD? 202 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,008 DO YOU THINK WE ENLISTED THE WHOLE TOWN 203 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,144 IN A GIANT CONSPIRACY TO MAKE YOU THINK YOUR MEMORY'S GOING? 204 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,847 AND THERE'S YOUR BURGER. 205 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:55,054 DIDN'T I...? I--I DIDN'T-- 206 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,256 SOMETHING WRONG WITH OSCAR? 207 00:10:57,356 --> 00:11:00,292 HE'S JUST WORRIED BECAUSE HIS MEMORY'S SLIPPING A BIT. 208 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:01,927 IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET OLDER. 209 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:05,097 AND NONE OF US IS GETTING ANY YOUNGER. 210 00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:06,499 STOP IT, YA BUNCH A--! 211 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,334 DON'T FLY OFF THE HANDLE. 212 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:11,137 I'M NOT OFF THE HANDLE. I'M STILL ON THE HANDLE. 213 00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,740 I'LL TELL YA WHEN I COME OFF THE HANDLE, OR THE BALL. 214 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,779 GOOD TEAMWORK. 215 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,215 HEY, IT'S NICE YOU'RE NOT UPSET ABOUT HOW I CHANGED THE SIGN. 216 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,151 YOU CHANGED THE SIGN? 217 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,327 WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE COME ON THAT FISHING TRIP? 218 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,396 I KNOW AROMATHERAPY'S AROMATHERAPY, BUT-- 219 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:41,167 I NEVER WENT TO AN AROMATHERAPIST. IT WAS AN EXCUSE. 220 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:49,608 LAST TIME I WAS FISHING, HANK WAS... 221 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:54,080 I HAD STRANGE FEELINGS... 222 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,217 TINGLY FEELINGS. 223 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,653 I DECIDED IT WOULD BE BETTER NOT TO GO. 224 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,655 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM, YOU KNOW? 225 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,256 WHAT? 226 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,993 WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO? WHAT ARE PEOPLE SAYING? 227 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,995 WHAT HAPPENED? 228 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:14,233 HE WAS TALKING ABOUT DARTH VADER FIGHTING MR. SPOCK. 229 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,570 DARTH VADER WOULD NEVER FIGHT MR. SPOCK. 230 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,339 DARTH VADER WOULD FIGHT CAPTAIN KIRK, 231 00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:23,309 AND THERE WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH. 232 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:27,913 MAN, IS IT BUSY. 233 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,515 I'VE BEEN HEARING MORE BELLS THAN-- 234 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:30,950 QUASIMODO? 235 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,551 PAVLOV'S DOG? 236 00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,454 THE CHIEF BELL TESTER DOWN AT THE BIG BELL FACTORY? 237 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,090 WHAT WAS THE FIRST ONE YOU SAID? QUAMIDOSO. 238 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,192 LET'S GO WITH THAT. 239 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,360 WHAT YA DOIN'? 240 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,929 I'M WORKIN' ON A NEW SLOGAN FOR THE SIGN. 241 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:47,733 I WANTED "LACEY IS A COW," BUT I CAN'T FIND A "W." 242 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,636 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 243 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,638 I TOOK DOWN "BRENT IS AN ASS." 244 00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:53,973 OOH. 245 00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,808 WERE THERE ANY "Ws" IN THERE? 246 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,477 OH, BRENT, LETS JUST STOP THIS CHILDISH FIGHT. 247 00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,812 IT'S NOT CHILDISH. 248 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,614 HEY, IS "POOPFACE" HYPHENATED? 249 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,550 BUSINESS HAS BEEN PICKING UP AND I DON'T WANT TO RUIN 250 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,652 EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE OF THESE STUPID SIGNS. 251 00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:07,853 OH. 252 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,290 BUT PEOPLE LOVE THE SIGNS. THAT'S WHY WE'RE SO BUSY. 253 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:15,361 PEOPLE ARE COMING BY JUST TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE GONNA PUT UP NEXT. 254 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:21,433 OKAY, TAKE THE "M," FLIP IT OVER, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A "W." 255 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,171 WHY ARE YOU GOIN' AROUND TELLIN' PEOPLE WE SLEPT TOGETHER? 256 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,472 HANK? 257 00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,474 NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK I'M EASY. 258 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,176 STOP BRAGGIN'! 259 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:31,877 KAREN, YOU SLEPT WITH HANK? 260 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:35,314 GOD! YOU EVEN TOLD LACEY? YOU ARE SUCH A BRAGGER! 261 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,316 AAAEEH! 262 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:46,225 THE SIGN IS NIGH. 263 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:57,303 I DON'T GET IT. THIS PLACE IS DEADER THAN A-- 264 00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,505 QUASIMODO? PAVLOV'S DOG? 265 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,908 THE CHIEF BELL TESTER DOWN AT THE BIG BELL FACTORY, 266 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,244 AFTER HE DIED? 267 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,478 I DON'T KNOW. 268 00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:09,982 I MEAN OUR SLOGAN IS SNARKY, BUT CLEVER. WHAT WENT WRONG? 269 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:12,918 HEY, GUYS. 270 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,187 YOUR NEW SIGN SUCKS. 271 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:19,191 PLUS THE "S" IN "SHOULD" IS OBVIOUSLY AN UPSIDE-DOWN "5." 272 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,299 WE NEED BETTER SLOGANS. 273 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,069 HOO! HEY. 274 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,838 DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT. I'M ARMED, YOU KNOW? 275 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,240 IS THE GUN EVEN LOADED? 276 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,408 I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY. 277 00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:39,678 THIS IS AN INTERVENTION. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 278 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,347 I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. 279 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,849 YES, YOU DO. YOU SLEPT WITH HANK. 280 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,351 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HANK. 281 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:48,487 THEN, WHY ARE YOU TELLING EVERYBODY YOU SLEPT WITH HIM? 282 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,090 DO YOU HAVE A SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEM? 283 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,026 WHEN HE GOES FISHING, HE'S DIFFERENT. 284 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,629 HE TALKS ABOUT THE STRING OF LIFE 285 00:14:56,629 --> 00:15:01,467 AND THE INDELIBLE ETERNAL STRING. 286 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,103 ARE YOU ON SOMETHING RIGHT NOW? 287 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,105 LET ME CHECK YOUR PUPILS. 288 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:09,408 HE WAS LIKE BRAD PITT IN A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT 289 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:13,145 OR THE HORSE WHISPERER . 290 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,881 HE WAS LIKE THE FISH WHISPERER. 291 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:19,385 THE FISH WHISPERER? 292 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,320 LISTEN TO YOU! 293 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,423 YOU SLEPT WITH HANK AND YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! 294 00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,625 THAT'S WHY YOU NEED THIS INTERVENTION! 295 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,861 I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HANK! 296 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,469 OKAY, WHAT ABOUT THIS? 297 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,805 "THE GAS AT CORNER GAS BURNS DIRTY, 298 00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:43,542 WHILE THE RUBY IS DIRTY, AND THE FOOD GIVES YOU HEARTBURN." 299 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,245 GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU THINK IT'S LONG ENOUGH? 300 00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:49,748 WE NEED SOMETHING BIG, SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS. 301 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:52,685 MY THIGHS ARE HOT FOR GOAT FELONS. 302 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,720 YOUR THIGHS ARE WHAT? 303 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,922 HEY, I JUST SAW KAREN DOWNTOWN. 304 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,124 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HANK. 305 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,226 YOU WERE JUST WITH KAREN DOWNTOWN? YEAH. 306 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,928 WELL, WHO'S WATCHIN' THE GAS STATION? 307 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,063 I DON'T KNOW. 308 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,065 WHAT IF A CUSTOMER COMES IN? 309 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,267 THEY LEAVE MONEY ON THE COUNTER. 310 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,869 IT'S NOT AS IF WE'RE MISSING SOMEONE IMPORTANT. 311 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,605 HELLO? 312 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:18,243 I'M PAMELA WALLIN, THE CANADIAN CONSUL GENERAL TO NEW YORK. 313 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,945 HELLO? 314 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,948 I USED TO BE ON TELEVISION. I HAVE A PLATINUM CARD. 315 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,050 IS ANYBODY HERE? 316 00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,864 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 317 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:42,868 OOH, I'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE FRONT OF ONE OF THESE BEFORE. 318 00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:45,904 IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO. 319 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:51,510 LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO SAY 320 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,145 I FORGIVE YOU. 321 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,246 WHAT? 322 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,849 I FORGIVE YOU, YOU KNOW, FOR GOIN' AROUND BRAGGIN. 323 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,385 I'M NOT BRAGGING. YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO ME . 324 00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,286 YOU LURED ME OUT INTO THE WOODS. 325 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:05,724 YOU LURED ME INTO THE WOODS AND THEN SEDUCED ME WITH YOUR SEXY FISH TALK. 326 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:09,461 WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS? FISH TALK AIN'T SEXY. 327 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:12,197 WELL, NO POINT IN ARGUING. 328 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,803 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT? 329 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,007 WELL, TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. 330 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,879 TIME IS ALSO THE ANGLER ♪ THAT CATCHES US-- 331 00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:30,983 STOP WITH THE SEXY FISH TALK! 332 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,251 FINE. 333 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,153 BUT YOU STOP BRAGGIN' ABOUT US. 334 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:37,689 OKAY. 335 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,825 ALL RIGHT. 336 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:42,528 I MEAN, I--I DON'T WANT WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY 337 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:46,765 TO WRECK WHAT WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD NON-FRIENDSHIP. 338 00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,801 YOU'RE RIGHT. 339 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:55,307 BEFORE THAT DAY WE HAD SOMETHING THAT WAS NOT SPECIAL AT ALL. 340 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,910 I HOPE WE CAN GO BACK TO THAT. 341 00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,179 ME TOO. 342 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,949 YOU KNOW, IT'S KINDA LIKE SHOOTING. 343 00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:08,187 YOU GET THIS SUDDEN ♪ BURST OF RAW ENERGY 344 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:11,590 THAT EXPLODES INTO ♪ A GOSSAMER THREAD. 345 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,927 AS THE BULLET ♪ TRIES TO, YOU KNOW, 346 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:19,064 KILL THE THING YOU'VE GOT THE GUN POINTED AT. 347 00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,467 YOU'RE DISGUSTING. 348 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,869 OKAY, HERE THEY COME. GET READY. 349 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,438 HEY, DAD. 350 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,208 DID YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS TODAY? 351 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,510 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 352 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,846 WELL, I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS. IT'S-- 353 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,747 UH, WAIT A MINUTE. 354 00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:38,784 OSCAR, CAN YOU WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND? 355 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:39,885 WHY? 356 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:43,388 I HAVE TO BUY SOME, UM, FEMALE THINGS. 357 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,728 THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. 358 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:52,064 NO MORE TRICKING YOUR FATHER. IT'S GETTING CRUEL. 359 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,365 AA-AH. 360 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,100 NO MORE TRICKS. 361 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,069 OKAY. 362 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,104 YOU HEARD HER, EVERYBODY. 363 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,879 WELL, THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME. 364 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,348 WE'VE GONE TOO FAR. 365 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:10,782 YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE. 366 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,084 ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU? 367 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:13,819 I HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIM. 368 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,288 NOW APOLOGIZE. YOU'RE MAKING HIM PARANOID. 369 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,890 MAKIN' HIM PARANOID? 370 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,292 HE THAT THINKS THE G.S.T. WAS BROUGHT IN 371 00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,127 AS A PERSONAL ATTACK AGAINST HIM. 372 00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,929 I KNOW. 373 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,265 FINE. 374 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,866 MAKE SURE YOU GET BOTH SIGNS, 375 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,870 THE ONE THAT SAYS THAT HE'S 60 AND THE ONE THAT SAYS HE'S 70. 376 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,405 ARE THOSE CRAB CAKES? 377 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,541 LEAVE THEM. 378 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,384 DAD, I'VE BEEN TOLD I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU. 379 00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:48,220 WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME. 380 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,454 WHAT FOR? 381 00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:53,525 WELL, ME AND LACEY AND, UH, WELL, THE WHOLE TOWN, REALLY, 382 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:54,760 HAVE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER 383 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,628 TO MAKE YOU THINK YOUR MEMORY'S GOING. 384 00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,630 NO, YOU HAVEN'T. 385 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,066 YES, WE HAVE. REMEMBER THE HAMBURGER THING? 386 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,670 LACEY BROUGHT YOU A HAMBURGER WHEN YOU JUST FINISHED EATING A HAMBURGER. 387 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,240 THE ALPHAGETTI? 388 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,509 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 389 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,345 YOU LEFT YOUR ALPHAGETTI AT THE GAS STATION. 390 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,947 I RUN A GAS STATION? 391 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,450 I KNOW YOU RUN A GAS STATION. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL? 392 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,385 DID YOU GET IT ALL WORKED OUT? 393 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:24,289 HE'S MAKIN' UP A STORY ABOUT HOW THE WHOLE TOWN'S TRYING TO TRICK ME. 394 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:27,326 BUT I'M NOT FALLIN' FOR IT. 395 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,162 COME ON, OSCAR, LET'S GO HOME. 396 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,531 I'LL MAKE YOU SOME ALPHAGETTI. 397 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,200 I WANT THE KIND WITH DINOSAURS. 398 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,313 WOW. 399 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,848 BUSINESS IS GOOD, HUH? 400 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,450 YEAH. HOW ABOUT YOU? 401 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:54,152 YEAH. IT'S BEEN NON-STOP GAS PUMPIN' ACTION OVER THERE. 402 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:58,357 I'VE BEEN HEARIN' MORE BELLS THAN A HUNCHBACK DOG AT A BELL FACTORY. 403 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:02,127 HIYA, GUYS. JUST WANTED TO SAY LOVE THE NEW SIGN. 404 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,229 TWO THUMBS UP. 405 00:21:04,329 --> 00:21:06,932 WELL, I GUESS IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE. 406 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,201 IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT SLOGAN. 407 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:14,439 YOU'RE SUCH A BRAGGER. 408 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,475 Closed Captioning by 409 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,810 Vertical Sync Closed Captioning Services Inc. 410 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:19,945 www.verticalsync.com 411 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:24,616 ♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 412 00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:32,524 ♪ I DON'T KNOW I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪ 413 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:39,831 ♪ IT'S A GREAT BIG PLACE ♪ 414 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:43,835 ♪ FULL OF NOTHIN' BUT SPACE ♪ 415 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,804 ♪ AND IT'S MY HAPPY PLACE ♪ 416 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:49,474 ♪ I DON'T KNOW YES YOU DO ♪ 417 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:53,512 ♪ YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT IT ♪ 418 00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,648 ♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 419 00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:59,651 WE'RE ON THE INTERWEB AT cornergas.com 420 00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:02,654 ♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪ 421 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:05,590 ♪ I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪ 30527

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