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1
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:10,043
WHAT'S THAT,
QUANTUM PHYSICS? YEAH.
2
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,279
I'M FASCINATED THAT LIGHT COULD
BE A PARTICLE AND A WAVE.
3
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,649
I WAS GONNA STUDY IT BUT I GOT
INTERESTED IN BIOCHEMISTRY,
4
00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:18,852
AND THEN ON A WHIM
SETTLED ON LINGUISTICS
5
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,854
WITH A MINOR IN
COMPARATIVE RELIGION.
6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,790
WOW. HOW'D YA END UP
IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?
7
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:26,826
THE LAST GIRL QUIT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
8
00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:31,965
♪ YOU CAN TELL ME THAT
YOUR DOG RAN AWAY ♪
9
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,502
♪ THEN TELL ME THAT
IT TOOK THREE DAYS ♪
10
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,805
♪ I'VE HEARD EVERY JOKE
I'VE HEARD EVERY ONE YOU SAY ♪
11
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:45,145
♪ YOU THINK THERE'S
NOT A LOT GOIN' ON ♪
12
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:48,815
♪ LOOK CLOSER
BABY YOU'RE SO WRONG ♪
13
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:52,485
♪ AND THAT'S WHY
YOU CAN STAY SO LONG ♪
14
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:55,488
♪ WHERE THERE'S NOT
A LOT GOIN' ON ♪
15
00:00:57,924 --> 00:01:01,728
YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T STOP YOU,
STEPHEN, IF YOU WANT TO COME.
16
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,830
WELL, IF YOU HAVE TO COME.
17
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:06,232
OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
18
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,333
BYE.
19
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,372
WHO WAS THAT,
YOUR VETERINARIAN?
20
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:16,810
AH, NO. THAT WAS FIANCE,
MY EX FIANCE.
21
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,679
HE'S COMING TO DOG RIVER.
22
00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,783
YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE.
23
00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:26,319
YOU SAY THAT EVERY--
EVERY TIME YOU
GET UNREASONABLE.
24
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:29,022
A MAN YOUR AGE SHOULD GO
TO THE DOCTOR.
25
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,024
WHAT ARE YOU
AFRAID OF, LEECHES?
26
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,992
IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME,
THE OLD QUACK.
27
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:36,129
YOU JUST WANT ME
OUT OF THE HOUSE.
WELL, YES.
28
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,131
WHY DON'T YOU GO
HAVE A CHECK-UP.
29
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:40,800
I GO TO THE DOCTOR
TWICE A YEAR.
30
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,004
YOU GO TO THE CITY TWICE A YEAR.
FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU'RE BOWLING.
31
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,173
YEAH! THAT'S WHY
I GO TO THE CITY.
32
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,476
I'M IN A SECRET
BIANNUAL BOWLING LEAGUE.
33
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,311
YOU'RE GOING
TO THE DOCTOR.
34
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,012
OVER MY DEAD BODY.
35
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:55,181
THAT'D SPEED
THINGS UP.
36
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:58,184
HE WANTS TO VISIT ME,
SEE ME OR SOMETHING.
37
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,519
I DON'T KNOW.
38
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,955
PROBABLY MISSES
YOUR DECISIVENESS.
39
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,590
ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?
40
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,625
YEAH, OF COURSE.
41
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,594
WHY WOULDN'T I BE?
42
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,596
HE'S A GREAT GUY.
43
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:11,631
EXCUSE ME.
44
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,569
POOR LACEY.
45
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,005
THIS STEPHEN GUY'S
OBVIOUSLY A STALKER.
46
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,440
HE'S HER EX FIANCE.
47
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,875
THINK YOU'RE
JUMPIN' THE GUN?
48
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,076
MAYBE.
49
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,445
BUT MAYBE I'M JUMPIN'
THE RIGHT GUN.
50
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:28,214
DON'T POINT YOUR
PICKLE AT ME.
51
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,825
PROPER BILLY CLUB USE,
KAREN, THAT'S THE SECRET.
52
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,494
I FIND IT HELPS IF YOU
NAME YOUR BILLY CLUB.
53
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,496
YOU KNOW WHAT
I CALL MINE?
54
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,465
BILLY?
55
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:48,801
A BILLY CLUB
IS A COP'S BEST FRIEND.
56
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:51,804
I THOUGHT YOU SAID A GUN
WAS A COP'S BEST FRIEND.
57
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:54,040
A GUN IS MORE
LIKE A COP'S LOVER.
58
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,842
THERE'S THINGS
YOU TELL YOUR GUN
59
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,745
THAT YOU WOULD
NEVER TELL A LOVER.
60
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:01,414
AND SOMETIMES YOUR LOVER AND
BEST FRIEND DON'T GET ALONG,
61
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:04,450
OR YOU GO OUT WITH ONE
AND THE OTHER GETS MAD
62
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,452
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T
GO OUT WITH IT.
63
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,755
YOU'RE DIVORCED, RIGHT?
64
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,592
HOW'S THE
INVENTORY GOING?
65
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,761
I'M BEHIND.
THANKS FOR DUMPING IT ON ME.
66
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,763
DELEGATING. I DELEGATED.
67
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,598
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
68
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,767
I'M NOT SURE.
LOOK IT UP FOR ME.
69
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,769
I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT THIS A LOT,
70
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,837
WE GOTTA PROTECT
LACEY FROM HER EX.
71
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,040
SHE JUST TOLD US
TWO MINUTES AGO.
72
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,476
TWO MINUTES OF THINKING
IS A LOT FOR HANK.
73
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:32,278
DID YOU SAY HER EX?
74
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,547
YEAH, HE'S A VETERINARIAN.
HE'S NOT A VETERINARIAN.
75
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,549
YOU SAID HE WAS
A VETERINARIAN.
76
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,719
YOU SAID HE WAS--HE'S JUST
COMING HERE FOR A VISIT.
77
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,222
THAT'S WHAT KOLCHAK
WOULD WANT US TO THINK.
78
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,923
THAT'S HIS NAME, KOLCHAK?
79
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,592
NO, HIS NAME IS STEPHEN.
80
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,594
KOLCHAK WAS KOLCHAK
THE NIGHT STALKER.
81
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,395
TV SHOW, DARREN MCGAVIN.
82
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,865
I'M INFERRING THAT THE GUY'S A
STALKER BY CALLIN' HIM KOLCHAK.
83
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:55,134
NO, YOU'RE IMPLYING
HE'S A STALKER.
84
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,736
I'M INFERRING
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
85
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,738
LET'S NOT
USE THAT WORD.
86
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,740
IDIOT? NO, STALKER.
87
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,244
WE NEED A PLAN TO LET HIM
KNOW WE KNOW, YOU KNOW?
88
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,745
NO.
89
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:09,082
HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO.
IT WON'T WORK, HANK.
90
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,184
I WON'T PRETEND TO BE
LACEY'S BOYFRIEND.
91
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,353
THAT'S NOT WHAT
I WAS GONNA SAY. OH.
92
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:16,089
IT DOES SOUND LIKE SOMETHING
HANK WOULD COME UP WITH.
93
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,091
THERE'S NO NEED
TO INSULT ME.
94
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,760
THE FACT THAT YOU FIND THAT
INSULTING, I FIND INSULTING.
95
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,563
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
ME TOO.
96
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,999
OKAY, WELL, SO CAN I.
97
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:29,035
I WAS GONNA SUGGEST A
GOOD OLD FASHIONED BEATING.
98
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,038
OR WE PUT ON THE CLOAKS
AND PRETEND TO SACRIFICE HIM
99
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:35,341
FOR THE CROPS, YOU KNOW,
SCARE HIM OFF.
100
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,110
BRENT AS
LACEY'S BOYFRIEND.
101
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,046
NOW THAT'S SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO SEE.
102
00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,188
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT
IT RIGHT NOW, AREN'T YA?
103
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,823
HANG ON A SEC.
104
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,631
OKAY, I'M BACK.
105
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,266
I GOTTA GO WITH BRENT.
106
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,602
WE CAN'T ASSUME THIS
GUY'S A STALKER.
107
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,070
IT MAKES SENSE.
108
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:07,240
THAT'S THE REAL REASON
WHY LACEY CAME TO DOG RIVER.
109
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,742
SO, HER AUNT DYING AND
LEAVING HER THE RESTAURANT
110
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,378
WAS AN ELABORATE
COVER STORY.
111
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,580
YOU SEE? BRENT GETS IT.
112
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:17,083
YOU'RE GOING AND
THAT'S THE END OF IT.
113
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,085
YEAH, THAT'S
THE END OF IT.
114
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,086
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?
115
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:22,055
YOUR FATHER WON'T
SEE A DOCTOR.
116
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,057
HE'LL JUST POKE
AND PROD ME.
117
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,626
THEY GET YOU THERE SO
THEY CAN TOUCH YA.
118
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,594
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE
GO TO MED SCHOOL,
119
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:31,064
SO THEY CAN FEEL UP OLD MEN,
LEGALLY.
120
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,599
PLUMBERS IN LAB COATS.
YOU LOVE PLUMBERS.
121
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,668
THERE'S NO UPSIDE
TO ME GOING.
122
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,937
I'M AN OLD MAN.
WHAT'LL HE TELL ME?
123
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,940
BEST CASE SCENARIO IS
THEY TELL ME I'M AN OLD MAN.
124
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,209
HE'LL MAKE SOMETHIN' UP,
TELL ME I'M SICK,
125
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,445
THEN I'LL GET SICK
AND DROP DEAD.
126
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,880
YOU'RE CONFUSING
DOCTORS AND HYPNOTISTS.
127
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,850
DAD, LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA
BE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME.
128
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,752
HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?
129
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,488
BECAUSE I'VE ANGERED THE KARMA
GODS AND YOU'RE MY PUNISHMENT.
130
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,424
A GUY MY AGE GOES TO THE DOCTOR
AND EVERYONE ASSUMES
131
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,660
HE'S GONNA GET ONE OF
THOSE BLUE PILLS.
132
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,463
EVERYONE IS GONNA BE SAYING
HOW I CAN'T GET IT--
133
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:04,731
DAD!
134
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,833
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
VIAGRA.
135
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,735
OH, FOR PETE SAKE!
136
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,971
WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING THERE
ANYWAY, YOU MIGHT AS WELL ASK.
137
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,439
OH, MOM!
138
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,775
YOU'RE GOING TO
THE DOCTOR, OSCAR!
139
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,277
I KNOW WHAT WILL
SCARE OFF KOLCHAK.
140
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:21,881
WE'LL PRETEND THERE'S A
LOTTERY AND THE LOSER
GETS STONED TO DEATH.
141
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,251
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
READ THAT STORY.
WHAT STORY?
142
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,953
DON'T YOU HAVE
SOMEWHERE TO BE?
143
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:30,390
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE TILL
I FIGURE OUT HOW TO HELP LACEY.
144
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,760
WHY DON'T YOU PRETEND
TO BE LACEY'S BOYFRIEND?
145
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,461
YEAH.
146
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:38,164
THAT MAKES MORE
SENSE, DOESN'T IT?
147
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,400
THANKS, WANDA.
148
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,970
WHAT'S GOT YOUR
PUSS SO SOUR?
149
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,472
I'M WORRIED FOR LACEY WITH
THIS KOLCHAK GUY COMING.
150
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:47,774
KOLCHAK?
151
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:51,210
KOLCHAK, THE
NIGHT STALKER.
IT WAS A TV SHOW.
152
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,946
WHEN WAS IT ON?
THE '70s.
153
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,816
FORGET IT. LACEY'S
EX FIANCE IS COMING.
154
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,651
WHO PLAYED HIM?
155
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,820
WHAT? OH,
DARREN MCGAVIN.
156
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,889
THE GUY FROM
THE FUGITIVE?
157
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,724
NO, THAT WAS
DAVID JANSSEN. OKAY, OKAY.
158
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:08,761
AND HIS NAME'S KOLCHAK?
JUST DROP THE KOLCHAK THING.
159
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:12,165
IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THIS
GUY, WHEN HE GETS INTO TOWN,
160
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,768
WE SHOULD LAY A
BEATING ON HIM. YOU'RE
SIMPLE. SIMPLE.
161
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:19,105
FORGET I MENTIONED IT. AND
DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO LACEY.
162
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,273
GOTCHA.
163
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,542
LACEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON
WITH THIS FIANCE?
164
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,577
WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?
165
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,612
NOTHING. DON'T DO
ANYTHING TO STEPHEN.
166
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,481
WHO THE HELL IS STEPHEN?
167
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:29,649
MY EX FIANCE.
168
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,250
HOW MANY TIMES
WERE YOU ENGAGED?
169
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,752
DAD!
170
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,154
LOOK, JUST LET ME
TALK TO HIM, OKAY?
171
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,190
HE'S AN OLD FRIEND.
IT'LL BE FINE.
172
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,158
REALLY, I'M FINE.
173
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,328
IS THAT WHY YOU'RE
POURING GRAVY ON
APPLE PIE?
174
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,330
WHAT? IT'S GOOD.
175
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,066
LOOK, YOU GUYS, WHEN
STEPHEN GETS HERE,
176
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:49,635
JUST TREAT HIM NORMALLY, OKAY?
177
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,571
AND NO RIDICULOUS SCHEMES.
178
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:59,445
HANK, DO WHATEVER YOU CAN
TO HELP ME.
179
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,647
UNDERSTOOD.
180
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,784
OSCAR, CAN I HAVE A
WORD WITH YOU, OUTSIDE?
181
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,856
HANK, REMEMBER, NO
RIDICULOUS SCHEMES.
182
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,757
DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?
183
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,727
YOU DID. BUT YOU REALLY
CAN'T OVEREMPHASIZE IT.
184
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:16,929
NO RIDICULOUS SCHEMES.
185
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:35,882
SIR, DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST
YOU WERE GOING BACK THERE?
186
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,184
UH, 97?
187
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,953
THAT'S A RELIEF.
RADAR GUN'S WORKIN'.
188
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:42,555
THANKS FOR YOUR
CO-OPERATION.
189
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:43,523
OKAY.
190
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,758
HEY, I'M HERE TO
VISIT LACEY BURROWS.
191
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:48,127
SHE'S, UH...
192
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,266
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
193
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:02,408
HEY, DO YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT?
194
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,712
STEPHEN AND I
WERE TOGETHER FOR
A COUPLE YEARS.
195
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,248
I BROKE IT OFF.
WHAT HAPPENED?
196
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:12,385
I DON'T KNOW. HE JUST
WASN'T THE ONE, I GUESS.
197
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,386
I LIKED HIM.
198
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,388
HE WAS STABLE.
199
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,357
WE HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER
AND WE LAUGHED A LOT.
200
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:20,359
GOOD THING YOU
DUMPED THAT LOSER.
201
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:24,230
HE WAS JUST--OH,
HE WAS JUST SO... FORGIVING.
202
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,600
I MEAN YOU COULD TREAT HIM
BADLY AND HE'D SAY "I'M SORRY."
203
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,135
HEARTLESS BASTARD!
204
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,037
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH ME?
205
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,973
NO, OTHER THAN THAT
YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY,
206
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,608
OR SATISFIED,
207
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,843
PROBABLY DIE ALONE,
HOUSE FULL OF CATS.
208
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,078
FUNNY.
209
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:43,082
REALLY, THOUGH, DO YOU THINK
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?
210
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,117
NOT IF YOU LISTEN
TO YOUR GUT.
211
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:48,287
IF YOUR GUT TOLD YOU TO LEAVE,
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
212
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,289
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.
213
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:53,059
MINE'S SAYING
"CHILI CHEESE DOG."
214
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:55,861
I GOT SOMEONE HERE
WHO SAYS HE KNOWS YOU.
215
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:57,430
STEPHEN!
HEY.
216
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,665
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
217
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:02,702
I THINK LACEY'S REALLY WORRIED
ABOUT THIS KOLCHAK GUY.
218
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:08,174
THAT'S HIS NAME, KOJAK?
NO, IT'S DAVID OR DARREN.
219
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,576
HE'S JUST LIKE THAT
KOJAK GUY ON TV.
220
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,846
YOU KNOW THE SHOW, RIGHT?
WHAT COP DOESN'T?
221
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:17,516
SO THIS GUY'S BALD?
YEAH, I GUESS.
222
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:20,686
BRENT SAID THIS GUY MIGHT BE
A FUGITIVE OR SOMETHIN'.
223
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,022
BUT HE'S NOT WORRIED.
224
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,791
BRENT CAN BE A
LITTLE TOO TRUSTING.
225
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:29,061
HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW THE WORLD
WORKS, NOT THE WAY I DO.
226
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,464
I WATCH THE NEWS
FROM DETROIT.
227
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:36,369
THIS IS MY FRIEND, BRENT LEROY.
HI, THERE.
228
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,605
WHY DID YOU ESCORT HIM?
BROKE HIS TAILLIGHT.
229
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,641
AH, THE OLD BROKEN
TAILLIGHT ROUTINE.
230
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,377
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
BREAK HIS TAILLIGHT.
231
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,412
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
SURE IT WAS.
232
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,817
BRENT'S ALWAYS BEEN NAIVE.
233
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,920
I BLAME HIS MOTHER FOR--
I DON'T KNOW, FOR--
234
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,857
MOTHERING HIM?
YEAH. THAT'S IT, EXACTLY.
235
00:10:57,857 --> 00:10:59,425
SOME PEOPLE NEVER GROW UP,
236
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,028
NEVER LEARN HOW TO
TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.
237
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,063
YEAH.
238
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,065
DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?
239
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,068
I PROMISED EMMA I'D TAKE
YOU TO THE DOCTOR'S.
240
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:12,405
ARE THE CUFFS NECESSARY?
YOU DID TAKE A SWING AT ME.
241
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:18,944
SO, ARE YOU HUNGRY?
242
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,247
UH, YEAH, ACTUALLY,
A LITTLE BIT.
243
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,149
SHE MAKES A MEAN
CHILI CHEESE DOG.
244
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,583
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
245
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,152
BUT, STEPHEN,
YOUR STOMACH.
246
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:29,255
OH. MAYBE BRENT AND I
COULD JUST SPLIT ONE.
247
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,389
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
248
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,092
YOU KNOW, HALF ONE,
EACH HAVE HALF.
249
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:35,261
I DON'T FOLLOW.
250
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,563
JUST SHARE ONE.
251
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:47,206
UM, TWO CHILI
CHEESE DOGS, PLEASE.
252
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,875
YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY,
I'LL JUST HAVE A COFFEE.
253
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,043
SUIT YOURSELF.
254
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,712
TWO CHILI CHEESE
DOGS, PLEASE.
255
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,948
LACEY, HONEY,
HOW ARE YA?
256
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:59,085
DO YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE ME?
YEAH, TO TOOTHPASTE.
257
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,753
OH.
258
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:04,323
SO THIS IS YOUR EX FIANCE,
THE ONE THAT LET YOU GET AWAY?
259
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:07,326
THIS IS HANK AND, UH,
HE'S POSING AS MY BOYFRIEND
260
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,428
BECAUSE, WELL,
HE'S AN IDIOT.
261
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:15,401
DID SHE--DID SHE USED
TO DO THAT WITH YOU,
262
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,336
YOU KNOW, PRETEND
YOU WEREN'T A COUPLE?
263
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,238
IT'S THE CUTEST
THING, REALLY.
264
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:23,242
ALTHOUGH, IF SHE BROKE UP WITH
ME, I WOULDN'T STALK HER.
265
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,211
OKAY, BRENT?
I'M ON IT.
266
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,412
WHAT?
267
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,814
THIS WAS YOUR IDEA.
268
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:31,517
THIS IS WHERE I LIVE NOW.
269
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:36,789
HOW'D IT GO?
HANK KISSED LACEY.
270
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,324
PEOPLE ALWAYS GET HURT.
271
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:41,460
DAMMIT, WHY
DIDN'T I STOP IT?!
272
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,330
SO THIS IS SASKATCHEWAN, HUH?
THIS IS THE RUBY.
273
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,232
YEAH.
274
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:49,869
I MISSED YOU.
I MISSED YOU TOO.
275
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,403
HOW DID IT END?
276
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,005
I LEFT WITHOUT TELLING YOU
277
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,808
AND PHONED YOUR PARENTS TO
SAY THE WEDDING WAS OFF.
278
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:56,809
RIGHT.
279
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,811
I'LL GET THAT
COFFEE NOW.
YEAH.
280
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:02,715
I WANT YOU TO BE ON THE
LOOKOUT FOR SOMEONE.
281
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:05,684
OKAY. WHO SHOULD I BE
ON THE LOOKOUT FOR?
282
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:08,821
A BALD MAN WHO'S STALKING LACEY,
SOME KIND OF FUGITIVE.
283
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,823
OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S HORRIBLE!
284
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,492
AND ON THE SAME DAY
HER EX FIANCE ARRIVED.
285
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:16,162
THE GUY STALKIN' HER
IS HER EX FIANCE.
286
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:18,397
AND I TOOK HIM
RIGHT THERE.
287
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,900
LET'S ROLL.
288
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,624
MR. KOJAK,
289
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,093
MEET MY FRIEND, BILLY.
290
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,162
AND THIS IS MY FRIEND,
JENNIFER.
291
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:54,967
WH--WHY ARE YOU
CALLING ME MR. KOJAK?
292
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,305
AH!
293
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,575
SO, ALL IN ALL, I FIND PEOPLE
PRETTY FRIENDLY HERE IN DOG--
294
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,910
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
295
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,846
ARRESTING THIS FUGITIVE.
296
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,414
HE IS NOT A CRIMINAL.
297
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:11,050
OH, NO? THEN WHY IS
HE WEARIN' A TOUPEE?
298
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,152
WHAT? THIS IS NOT A TOUPEE!
299
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,720
SO IT'S
A HAIR SYSTEM.
300
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,056
WHATEVER HELPS YOU
LIVE WITH YOURSELF.
301
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,124
LOOK, THERE'S BEEN
SOME SORT OF MISTAKE.
302
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:22,595
LACEY, RIGHT NOW YOU'RE HURTING.
YOUR WORLD'S UPSIDE DOWN.
303
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,230
WE HAVE COMMUNITY
OUTREACH VOLUNTEERS
304
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,565
WHO WILL HELP YOU
GET THROUGH THIS.
305
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:30,069
WELL, YOU SURE CAN PICK 'EM.
WHAT, ARE YOU STUPID?
306
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,671
JUST LET US DO
OUR JOB, LACEY.
307
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:33,973
LET'S GO.
308
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,675
I'LL STRAIGHTEN
THIS OUT, STEPHEN.
309
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:46,185
BRENT, DAVIS JUST HAULED
STEPHEN OFF IN THE POLICE CAR.
310
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,420
HE HAS TO GO
TO THE DOCTOR?
311
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:49,521
WHAT?
312
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:53,292
IF YOU NEED A SHOULDER TO
CRY ON, I'M HERE FOR YA.
313
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,428
YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO
GETTING A KNEE IN THE BALLS.
314
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,564
SO IT'S OVER
BETWEEN US THEN?
315
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,737
I DON'T WANT TO GET ANYONE
IN TROUBLE HERE,
316
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,107
BUT YOU--YOU HAVE
TO CHARGE ME OR RELEASE ME.
317
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:11,243
WHY DON'T WE JUST HAVE
A LITTLE TALK FIRST.
318
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,312
WE DON'T NEED A LAWYER.
319
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:14,980
OKAY.
320
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,882
THAT'S PRETTY SUSPICIOUS.
321
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:20,319
MOST INNOCENT PEOPLE
ASK FOR A LAWYER.
322
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,955
REALLY?
323
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:26,392
WHAT DO YOU DO,
STEPHEN?
324
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:29,361
I'M A LAWYER.
325
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,533
HEY, SHOULD I BE
ABLE TO SEE HER?
326
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,074
THEY PUT THE ONE-WAY
GLASS IN THE WRONG WAY.
327
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,510
I SEE.
328
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,880
YOU CAN COME
IN NOW, KAREN.
329
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,984
KAREN?
330
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:05,864
BUT WHY WOULD THEY
ARREST STEPHEN?
331
00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:09,435
THEY SAID HE WAS SOME
KIND OF BALD FUGITIVE STALKER.
332
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:10,869
IT MAKES NO SENSE.
333
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:12,705
STRANGELY, IT MAKES
PERFECT SENSE.
334
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,075
THERE YA ARE.
OH, HEY, DAD, HOW
WAS THE DOCTOR?
335
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,844
GREAT, YA JACKASS.
I'M HEALTHY.
336
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:21,914
WE HEARD YOU HAVEN'T SEEN
A DOCTOR IN QUITE A WHILE.
337
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,849
IT HASN'T BEEN THAT LONG.
338
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,719
SO, BRENT, I SEE
YOU HAD A BIRTHDAY.
339
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,854
YOU'RE GETTING TO BE
A PRETTY BIG BOY.
340
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,856
YES, YOU ARE.
341
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,891
A YEAR, A YEAR AND A HALF.
342
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,227
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
WE BOOKED YOU AN APPOINTMENT.
343
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,695
THEY'RE WAITING
FOR YOU NOW.
344
00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,364
ISN'T THERE A
HEALTH CARE CRISIS?
345
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:41,233
SHOULD I CALL DAVIS?
NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
346
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,902
OH, I CAN'T WAIT
TO HEAR THIS.
347
00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:47,773
LACEY'S EX FIANCE HAS
BEEN ARRESTED FOR...
348
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,343
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT FOR.
349
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,811
THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY,
350
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,813
GOIN' ON LIKE
HE'S SOME KINDA STALKER.
351
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,849
I DID NOT.
YOU DID TOO.
352
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,552
AND IT WAS BRENT'S IDEA SOMEONE
PRETEND TO BE LACEY'S BOYFRIEND.
353
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:03,022
HANK'S NOT EXACTLY LYING.
354
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,959
THAT'S THE NICEST THING
YOU'VE EVER SAID ABOUT ME.
355
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,694
BRENT?
356
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:13,866
YOU'RE ALL LUCKY I HAVE
A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.
357
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,336
I JUST WANTED TO BEAT
THIS STEPHEN GUY UP.
358
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,571
SEE? NOW THAT'S A PLAN.
359
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:23,175
OR MAYBE GET CLOAKS AND
SACRIFICE HIM FOR THE CROPS.
360
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:26,979
YOU MEAN PRETEND TO
SACRIFICE HIM TO THE CROPS.
361
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,449
THAT'S RIGHT,
PRETEND.
362
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,390
THAT'S IT.
363
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,292
I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
364
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:41,527
DAVIS, NO!
365
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:46,432
WHY DON'T I JUST TAKE
A LOOK AT IT, HUH?
366
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:52,938
HELLO?
367
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,440
IS ANYBODY HERE?
368
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,508
WE'RE IN HERE.
369
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,648
ARE YOU OKAY?
370
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,651
OH, I'M FINE, YEAH. I'M
HELPING FIX THE INTERCOM.
371
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:09,088
OH, THAT IS SO LIKE YOU. YOU
SHOULD BE THREATENING TO SUE.
372
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,390
I DON'T SEE WHAT
HE CAN SUE ABOUT.
373
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,592
WRONGFUL ARREST, FOR ONE.
374
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:17,162
I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING
CHASED BY A BALD MAN.
375
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:20,032
YEAH, THE KOJAK GUY.
YOU KNOW, NIGHT RIDER.
376
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,000
NO, KOLCHAK, THE
NIGHT STALKER .
377
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,571
IT WAS A TV SHOW.
BRENT USED TO WATCH IT.
378
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,839
HE WAS A FUGITIVE.
379
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,341
NO, HE WAS A REPORTER
WHO STALKED VAMPIRES.
380
00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:32,611
ENOUGH OF THE TV GUIDE
CROSSWORD PUZZLES.
DAVIS, LET HIM GO.
381
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,981
I STILL HAVE TO GIVE YOU A
TICKET FOR THE BUSTED TAILLIGHT.
382
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,483
WHAT?
383
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:39,451
YEAH. UM, DAVIS?
NOT NOW, KAREN.
384
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,287
COULD YOU NOT HAVE RUN HIS
NAME THROUGH A COMPUTER?
385
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,822
YEAH, WELL,
HINDSIGHT.
386
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,058
PLUS THE MONEY
TO UPDATE THE COMPUTER
387
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,026
WE USED TO REDO THE
INTERROGATION ROOM.
388
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:51,630
IT STILL HAS A FEW KINKS.
THE INTERCOM DOESN'T WORK,
389
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,099
THE ONE-WAY MIRROR WAS
PUT IN THE WRONG WAY,
390
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,869
AND THE DOOR LOCKS
FROM THE WRONG SIDE.
391
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,242
SO, ANYBODY SEE
ANY GOOD MOVIES?
392
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,815
SO, HOW WAS THE DOCTOR?
393
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,351
WELL, I HATE TO ADMIT,
BUT DAD WAS RIGHT.
394
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,319
THE GUY IS BASICALLY
A PLUMBER.
395
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,787
DID HE GIVE YOU--
396
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:18,657
OH, YEAH. HE PUT THE
PRO IN PROSTATE.
397
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,559
WELL, IT'S GOTTA BE DONE.
398
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:22,828
I WISH HE WASN'T SO
ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT.
399
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,531
HE WENT AT ME LIKE
HE WAS TRYING TO GET
400
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,533
THE LAST PICKLE
OUT OF THE JAR.
401
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,334
SORRY.
402
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,939
I'M SORRY FOR WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU.
403
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,941
I MEAN I FEEL
KINDA RESPONSIBLE.
NO.
404
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,677
BEARING IN MIND THAT
NOTHING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
405
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,846
IF YOU HAD
STAYED IN TORONTO.
406
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:44,550
I NEEDED TO SEE YOU, TO
MAKE SURE I WAS OVER YOU.
407
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,586
I--I'VE MET SOMEONE ELSE
AND I'M GONNA GET MARRIED.
408
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,322
I NEEDED TO MAKE SURE
WHEN I SAW YOU,
409
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:52,324
THAT THERE WERE
NO SPARKS AND--
410
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,359
STEPHEN, IT'S OVER.
411
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,795
OKAY? GET IT
THROUGH YOUR HEAD.
412
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,765
YOU JUST SAID YOU'RE
MARRYING SOMEBODY ELSE?
413
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,868
UNLESS MY PARENTS RECEIVE
ANOTHER PHONE CALL.
414
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,738
LISTEN, IT WAS REALLY
NICE TO SEE YOU, LACEY.
415
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,875
AND GIVE ME A CALL WHEN
YOU MOVE BACK TO TORONTO.
416
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,410
IF.
417
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:14,179
GOOD BYE, LACEY.
418
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,448
BYE.
419
00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:22,521
BYE.
SEE YA.
420
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:26,925
HAVE FUN KILLING ONE-ARMED
VAMPIRES IN YOUR ROBOT CAR.
421
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,728
SO, HOW DID HE TAKE IT?
422
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,697
HE'LL BE FINE.
423
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:36,235
REALLY, OFFICER,
ANOTHER POLICE OFFICER
BROKE MY TAILLIGHT.
424
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,650
HEY, HAVE YOU
SEEN YOUR MOTHER?
425
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,419
SHE HAD A DOCTOR'S
APPOINTMENT IN THE CITY.
426
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,695
YES!
427
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,834
Vertical Sync
Closed Captioning Services Inc.
428
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:11,503
www.verticalsync.com
429
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:23,815
♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS
YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
430
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:31,790
♪ I DON'T KNOW
I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪
431
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:39,097
♪ IT'S A GREAT BIG PLACE ♪
432
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:43,101
♪ FULL OF NOTHIN' BUT SPACE ♪
433
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,103
♪ AND IT'S MY HAPPY PLACE ♪
434
00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,774
♪ I DON'T KNOW
YES YOU DO ♪
435
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:52,778
♪ YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT IT ♪
436
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:55,447
♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS
YOU DON'T KNOW ♪
437
00:21:58,450 --> 00:22:02,454
WE'RE ON THE INTERWEB AT
cornergas.com
438
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,457
♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪
439
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:08,493
♪ I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪
32215
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