Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am Al Kabeer" - "He is Al Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have Al Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, Al Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 6"

Stop crying, Hadeya!

Is this how it ends? He's taking another wife after all I've done for him?

- Is this how he repays me? - Kabeer has good reason, Hadeya!

- Johnny, what are you even saying? - Sorry, sorry!

Has Hadeya ever fallen short to fulfill her wifely duties?

I was merely referring to the other chick, Hadeya!

- To whom are you referring, Johnny? - Fine, I'll zip my mouth!

- Good for you! - I know she's pretty and cute...

and is admired by all men but that's not the issue at hand!

The problem is that I still love him

I can't stand sharing him with another woman!

You're so cute, Hadeya! I truly mean that!

I appreciate that! Here's the thing...

can I stay here until the morning if I'm not imposing?

I can't simply walk to my father's house in the middle of the night!

Are you crazy? Why would you even go back to your father's house?

Can you tell me?

Do I stay here, then? I'll have to see that vile woman!

Sure! You'll stay here, careless unbothered until you drive her away...

- or drive Kabeer into leaving her! - No!

I won't stay, as long as there's another woman here!

You're wrong, Hadeya! A smart woman...

knows how to keep her husband by her side

she won't let just any woman simply snatch him away

- Okay! - Wait, where are you going?

I'll be arrogant and careless until I drive that homewrecker away!

Ashly, you just gave Hadeya great advice! I never thought you'd come up with that!

I was forced to say that, guys! You both know I can't sleep next to anyone!

- Good evening, Kabeer - A beautiful evening to you!

- That dress suits you perfectly - Thank you

- Have a seat - Thank you!

- Thank you so much! - Have this, Kabeer...

- you'll like it quite a lot! - Kabeer doesn't like breast meat

- he prefers the leg! - Admittedly, I do like the legs...

didn't you prepare any bread today?

- It's right in front of you! - Don't eat that, Kabeer!

It's high in cholesterol which might reflect badly on your health

He's been eating that all his life and yet, he's still healthy as ever!

Have some, Kabeer! Don't worry about cholesterol and whatnot!

- Good evening! - My evening is officially ruined!

- Why is he here? - Good evening, Mr. Johnny!

Nicole, are you ready? We need to start preparing for the concert!

What concert, you idiot?

- Do you want your brother's wife to sing? - Why not? We had an agreement!

- She's bound by a contract - I advise you to soak it in water...

and, excuse me, wipe yourself with it!

- What do you say? - Whatever you see fit, Kabeer!

Calm down, Johnny anger won't do you any good!

Calm down, so we can come up with a plan

- What are we going to do? - Don't worry, boss

- the concert will surely be held - How come?

Kabeer has taken full control over her

- Strangely, she's listening to him! - Johnny, we've signed a contract

there are fines and lawsuits involved! Here's the thing...

I'll talk to her manager, let him handle it!

The concert simply has to be held in its time

- "What did you want to discuss, doctor?" - "I wanted to know why you got upset..."

"upon finding out that Hanan will start working with..."

- "They all seemed really great, because..." - "In your absence..."

"In China, crowds in multiple areas gathered in celebration of..."

What is this? Is it popcorn? Where did you get it?

We only see these things in parties! That, and Ladida, of course!

What's "Ladida?"

It's a type of dessert that's native to Upper Egypt

it's orange, and it's about the size of a brick!

if you throw it at the wall it springs right at the roof!

I'll buy you some tomorrow!

I didn't quite understand, but it's okay! I've brought us a great film to watch!

- What is this film, then? - It's a romance titled Sweet November

- have you seen it? - Does it star Sylvester Stallone?

No, it stars Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron

Keanu Reeves? The one from The Matrix?

- Is this one as good? - It is, but the ending is quite sad!

I adore sad endings, it's all great!

"All I ever want to know..."

Collect the rugs and move the furniture we need to do a full sweep of the house!

It looks like we won't be relaxing at home all today

tomorrow morning, the minute we wake up I'll take you for a fun stroll

we'll spend the entire day out!

- I'm so attracted to your mustache! - What is it?

Will you act all lovey-dovey all night long?

Go upstairs since our work is cut out for us!

I'm not acting all lovey-dovey! We're just planning for tomorrow!

I need you to calm down, man! Why are you so angry?

Rogeh, you don't see how big of a problem this is!

I've been appointed mayor, I can't let my people down at the first opportunity!

We've installed a sound system and invited the residents...

I can't possibly cancel now! Find me any other option!

- Calm down, brother! - What's going to happen, then?

She doesn't want to sing! You can say she's sick or tired, whatever!

How could she be sick? She's practically reveling in good health here!

Mind you, we're bound by a contract that has a penalty clause

if the concert's off you'll surely have to pay it!

What penalty clause? I have the contract! There's nothing of the sort...

Would you like anything to drink, Rogeh? I'll get you something now!

- What is this? - What?

- Does it actually not mention a penalty clause? - Are you playing dumb?

Did you sign it without reading it?

- Actually... - There's no mention of a penalty clause

she was going to hold a complimentary concert in other words, she wasn't getting paid for it

now, she doesn't want to sing! Shall I sing instead?

- Didn't you like it? - I did, talk to Nicole now!

How could I solve it? Wait, what if I dance instead?

Why are you making this about you? Do you think you're competing in Star Academy?

Wake up, Rogeh!

If Nicole marries that idiot, then your dreams of becoming a singer will surely fly away...

thus turning you into a hornet we'll be watching you on National Geographic

"Unbreak my heart, say you love me again"

"Unbreak my..."

Where are my clothes? Hadeya!

- Yes? - Where are my clothes?

- They're in the washing machine - All of them?

- Yes! - Why?

I found moths in the closet

- How long does it take to dry? - The moths?

My clothes, you comedian!

They'll be dry by the morning let's hope we make it until then!

Get me a dress shirt or anything else I can wear!

There aren't any!

Do you expect me to leave the house like this? I look like I'm going to a belly-dance recital!

All your clothes are either being washed or drying in the sun!

Get out of my face!

Moths in the closet! Who could believe that?

She's surely lost her mind!

What is this? What's with the get-up, Kabeer?

I think you're referring to my lack of clothes!

Hadeya mistakenly washed all my clothes

What, then? What are you going to wear?

- I don't think I'll be able to go - But you promised me!

I know that, but what am I to do?

What are you to do? I have an idea!

- What if you borrow clothes from Johnny? - No chance!

It will cause a scene I'd rather wear a belly dancing suit!

Why? I don't quite understand! Johnny's clothes are very stylish

Do you truly think that his peculiar clothes are stylish?

How about a loose-fitting dress shirt? We've been wearing that since infancy!

It makes you look charismatic!

So? Are you wearing a loose-fitting dress shirt to our engagement party?

Of course, not, I'll wear a highly respectable English cloak!

A cloak? A cape?

It won't do, no! Don't you know that there will be many reporters?

Our photos will be in all the magazines!

You'll wear a suit, from a known brand!

No! Why would I wear a suit? It's not something I'm used to!

What if I asked you nicely?

What if I asked you to do it for me?

I'd wear my bathing suit for you!

Is that true, Kabeer? I didn't realize I was so important to you

You're not the only one who's important to me, as...

Why are you sitting here in your underwear, Kabeer?

Shamelessness! I'm wearing these because of some shameful individuals!

Listen, I'll go search in outside

once I find a clothing item that's dry I'll wear it and come right down!

"Unbreak my heart, say you love me again"

"Unbreak my heart, say you love me again"

It's over, no one in this country will ever respect me again

What do I say? I promised to hold a concert for them after I became their new mayor!

And now, the singer bailed on me!

This is a terrible look for you, Johnny

I wish I had asked Elton John or even Jay-Z!

The past is in the past, Johnny

Let's think of what we're going to say to the residents!

Why don't we make it up to them? We can serve sweets, donuts or marshmallows!

We can handle the locals the problem is the other people

- Other people? - People in the surrounding countries

- What did you do, Thomas? - I didn't do anything!

I invited the locals, and sold a couple tickets to some neighboring countries

Son of a... oh my God!

I didn't know she'd fall in love with El Kabeer marry him, thus calling off the concert!

Please, don't do anything without talking to me, first!

- Okay, I've been thinking... - Shut up!

- Hadeya! - Yes?

I need you to make me a nice, dark cup of coffee...

that will help me stay up for hours!

Fine!

- Guess who! - Oh, God!

To whom could that beautiful, sweet voice belong?

Fazzaa the donkey? Or is it uncle Jaber?

it's obviously the most beautiful woman ever!

Listen now, just as I sought for you till I found you...

I want you to seek me and find me

- Do you mean the hiding game? - What does it mean?

- Ranger and Convict - I don't get it!

How would I explain it to her? Hide and Seek!

Yes, come on

- Where am I? I'm right here - I'll catch you!

- No, no, you can't - I'll catch you, girl

- I'll catch you! You can't run away! - I'm here, I'm here, come here

I have nothing else to do!

I'm here, Kabeer

I'm not Al Kabeer anymore!

Come here!

I got you!

I got you!

Here's the coffee, Kabeer

why don't you lift what's covering your face?

Do you know? This is better

We received the formal suit, Kabeer

- Are you serious? Let me see - Let me check the quality!

- Yes, sir - Whose suit is this?

It's Al Kabeer's it's for our engagement day

- let me see! How beautiful! Let me see - Oh, dear God!

- Are you going to wear a suit? - What should I wear? A boxer?

Oh what else is in stock for us!

Take it! Get out of here

- What do you mean, girl? - I mean that this princess...

is blinding you and leading you to your death!

- Are you out of your mind, Hadeya? - You don't realize what you're doing, Kabeer!

What do you have to do with it? Is that because I'm going easy on you?

Wake up and listen to me carefully, Hadeya...

if you want to live here with dignity you'll never complain about anything

and if you say one word I'll beat you so bad!

Call me "baby"

What is it, ma'am? Is it really over? Think again!

Take this tape, Fazzaa and give it to Al Kabeer when he wakes up

- get in the car and I'll be there in a minute - Yes, ma'am!

Hadeya! Hadeya!

Where are you going, Hadeya? Why the bag?

I'll leave and let you have him enjoy being with him!

Do you really like him that much?

You still don't know Al Kabeer

did you hear him snoring?

It's like you're sleeping next to a wasp nest

you'll hate holding his socks when he takes them off!

Just try to make one mistake...

you'll receive a slap on your beautiful face that will give you a new look

not even the best plastic surgeon can fix it

not even Arab Contractors will be able to fix it

for me, I'll let you have him

they, actually, told us when a man cheats...

flush him down the toilet!

"Well, life is life!"

"Yes, that's life!"

"Yes, life is life!"

"Well, that's life!"

Come in!

Mrs. Hadeya, left the house and left you this

- What is this? - It's a tape, Kabeer

Get out of here, fool!

"Dear Al Kabeer..."

"when you'll be listening to this message..."

"I'll be in the microbus heading to my father's house"

"about you marrying the princess..."

"I wish, from the bottom of my heart..."

"for my man who once was my husband..."

"that your life with her would turn into hell!"

"Go on with your life I'll leave you to the stranger woman"

"to deprive you from your dignity and take your cloak"

"to let you wear pants and shirts instead"

"and make you have funny haircuts but wait, you don't even have hair!"

"They will call you The Princess's Husband!"

"Last but not least I want you to listen to this song"

"I don't know myself anymore I'm lost, it's not me!"

"It's not my features it's not my face, it's not me!"

"I don't know myself anymore I'm lost, it's not me!"

"It's not my features it's not my face, it's not me!"

"I suddenly realized..."

"that I am older now I suddenly got older"

"I was deeply hurt"

"and I started crying!"

"Tell me, mirror"

"tell me my story is this my final destination?"

"Is this how my story ends?"

"I suddenly realized that I am older now, I suddenly got older"

"I was deeply hurt"

"and I started crying!"

"Tell me, mirror"

"tell me my story"

Nicole, I want to tell you something

Actually, I want to tell you something, too

So, you go first ladies first! Everyone knows that

I don't know how to say it but...

I figured that I can't adapt here

You're right our village is so warm

but I took precautions! I ordered an air conditioner with 4 horsepower engine

You didn't get it!

I wanted to say that I won't manage to live in this village

and honestly I can't take a man from his wife

Me neither! I can't take a man from his wife

I mean, I can't leave Hadeya

I know she's a cow but she's nice and I knew her my whole life

It's alright, Kabeer Hadeya did that because she loves you

You're so kind, Nicole you're defending her after all what she's done

That's normal, believe me

if I were her... if any woman were in her place...

she would have done the same thing and maybe more than that

Do you know? Those couple of days that we spent together...

- I'll never forget them - Me neither!

I was really moved!

I want to ask you if I can sing in the party

we promised everyone!

- Why? - Do it!

You're funny! Alright, bye!

- Take care, ok? - Okay!

Nicole!

Can I ask you one little thing?

Come on, Hadeya! Come in!

Look who came with me!

Welcome back, Hadeya!

How could you? How could you leave me alone in the house?

You know I can't live without you

- You started it! - Enough with that, Hadeya

I told you he felt bad about what he's done

and he asked me to bring you here because he wants to make it up to you

Hadeya!

Stop being silly!

We shouldn't keep fighting in front of everyone, why don't you sit down?

let's go upstairs so we can close the door and fight alone in our room

Alright

Now I'm relieved that you two are back together!

Come on, Hadeya go upstairs with your husband

- Thank you so much, Nicole - Don't mention it!

Thank you so much, Nicole

come on, let's go let's go, cow

- Welcome! - Thank you

Shall we? Shouldn't we get ready? The party is starting in three hours!

- You're right, I'm getting ready now - Nicole! Wait!

It's good that you're here you should know what's going on

- What is it? What's wrong? - while driving here, I saw him selling tickets

our party tickets are for free

You!

Are you really stealing from me?

You're not stupid you're a deceiver!

- No, I'm just a fool! - You're a traitor!

- I'm a fool! - You!

Did you really do that, Hagras? How could you do that?

Please don't mind me, guys I'm sorry, it's my fault

- I'll deal with you, animal! - No, I'll deal with him, I'll lock him up

No! I swear I didn't do anything it was Mr. Thomas

Mr. Thomas gave me the tickets

and said: "Mr. Johnny sends his regards and he wants you to sell these"

- Is that true, Thomas? - No!

- Oh, my God! Is that true? - Yes, that's true

Oh, my God! Why? Why?

Why? You'll go back to your country now!

- I'm the one who's going back right now! - No, no, no! Please, Nicole!

This is the first thing I do after being the new mayor

that would make me look so bad!

It's not my problem! I agreed on this gig...

because I love Egypt and I want to sing in its countryside!

but you can't fool me! Rogeh!

- Yes, dear - Tell everyone to pack up, I'm leaving now!

- Alright - Nicole!

- Oh, my God! - Are you stupid?

For your information, I have an idea to solve this whole problem in one minute

Johnny! Ashly!

Even you, Hagras!