Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 5"

"Johnny"

- Good morning, ma'am! - Good morning!

The breakfast is ready

What is this? Where's the pie?

The pie will be brought from the bakery directly so that it would still be hot

I hope they don't be late because El Kabeer is coming now

Here he is!

- Good morning, Kabeer! - Lower your voice, dummy!

We don't live here on our own anymore...

we have neighbors and they're so annoying!

Is that so, Thomas? Is that how you'll pay me back?

You turned out to be an ungrateful man!

If it wasn't for me you would've been in the jail right now with...

- the killers and the criminals! - Fazzaa, I guess I'll hit you with my shoe!

- But what did I do? - Stop it, man! Stop it!

If I dialled 911...

you would get beaten up!

- Listen, Fazzaa! - Yes, sir!

You can bang your head against the wall!

Did I say anything wrong, Kabeer?

- I didn't even say a word, as you can see! - Enough, both of you!

- Stop being childish! - What?

Are you yelling at me you crazy man?

No, Kabeer! No!

I was only talking to those stupid guards out there!

Get out of here, dummy!

Do you think that I would get so sad about it? I'll just go to sit with those nice people!

God, give me patience!

God, give me patience!

Yes, Hagras! What did you do with the theatre managers?

This is great! You should go now to the print shop to get the posters

- ok, goodbye! - Wonderful!

- Ok, when will the singer be here? - On the day after tomorrow

What posters and what theatre? I didn't get a word, sir!

I'll explain it to you, Uncle Jabir

we're throwing this party because Johnny's become the new mayor

and we chose Nicole Saba to sing in the party, that's all!

Nicole Saba! Nicole Saba?

- Yes, do you know her? - Who doesn't know Nicole Saba in Egypt?

Did you hear that, Johnny? I told you! They love her so much around here

Still, I think that if we had chosen...

Elton John , it would have been great!

- They have other preferences here! - Ok, when Miss Nicole arrives...

where will she stay?

She'll be my guest here, of course! For three days before the party

This happens in your country! This doesn't happen here!

These ridiculous people won't come near El Kabeer Awi's house!

Watch it! Watch it! This is my half!

- It's my half! Don't you cross it! - I'm begging you, Kabeer!

- Nicole Saba is so nice! - No means no!

You don't have a say in this, Kabeer because I'm the mayor now!

And this is my property! My property! So, it's none of your business!

No, it is! If El Kabeer Awi had been alive he would've beaten you up!

Listen, sir don't rush it, Kabeer!

She's Nicole! Don't you get it?

- Sir, do you know who this woman is? - Who is she?

Do you remember that beautiful singer whom you zone out when you see?

Which one is she?

The one with the song that says "I keep thinking of you and of our love"

"what can I do with you?"

she starred in Adel Imam's movie The Danish Experience...

- as Anita Gutenberg! - What?

Is she the one who went to the council of ministers wearing a seductive suit?

- Exactly! It's her! - She's so hot!

- What are you saying? - Oh, nothing!

I was saying that these ridiculous people won't ever come near this house!

- I'm begging you, Kabeer! Say yes! - No!

- Do it for me, please! - End of discussion!

"Nicole, and that's it"

Welcome, Nicole! Welcome to Al Mazareeta!

This is El Kabeer Awi's Castle! He's my father

those are his pictures, above the staircase those two are his pictures

this is the mayor's house you know...

something like the White House

- Nicole! See you tomorrow in the rehearsal, ok? - Ok

- Bye, Rogeh - Goodbye!

Ok, Johnny, but you're too cool...

to be a typical mayor like the ones we see in the movies!

- Thank you, sweetie! Thank you! - Miss Nicole!

Miss Nicole! I really can't believe this!

Miss Nicole! "This is who I am!"

"This is what I like! I like to enjoy my life! And I won't ever change!"

Miss Nicole! I love you so much! Excuse me, but I'm so excited to see you!

- We're so glad to have you in Al Mazareeta! - Thank you, dear! That's so nice!

Please, come to visit us we'll be so glad to have you!

I'm already at your house! Do you have another one?

No, I don't mean this part I mean, that one!

This is Mr. Johnny's half and that is El Kabeer Awi's

- Hadeya! - Oh! Oh, dear!

- What are you doing there, you slipper! - I'm so sorry, Kabeer!

Slipper! What is that? Is it her name?

No, it's not! You wear a slipper in your foot like a shoe or a sabot, you know

A sabot! Oh, my God, Johnny! So, he's insulting her!

What are you saying? No, he's complimenting her!

It's a new style of complimenting! There's nothing wrong with that!

Forget it! Forget it! I'll explain it to you tomorrow

you need to go get some sleep now so you wake up in a good mood in the morning

Alright! Understood!

You still didn't tell me I need to know the whole schedule...

- step by step until the day of the party - Oh, ok

first, you need to take some rest today because you must be tired after your flight

tomorrow morning we'll go to the concert's theatre...

so that we would take any comments you might have

Ok, Rogeh can come, too...

and you'll discuss all these details together

Ok, after that you'll have an oriental lunch

then, we'll make a tour in the village so that you get to know...

Yes!

There's absolutely no cell phone signal here at all!

There's a signal in this spot! Can you believe it?

Hello!

Hello!

Johnny, who's that man?

That man is my brother, unfortunately!

Your brother? Why isn't he the mayor then?

- He looks so tough! - Go on, please!

- At night... - Yes, tough guy!

You beautiful!

Yes!

Where have you been, man? Why don't you come to visit?

We're here and we miss you so much!

So much! Well...

were you in prison?

Congratulations! Oh! Hello?

- Yes! - Go on! Go on!

At night we'll go to the waterwheel

listen, it's such an amazing view

- We can take... - Fazzaa!

- Where are you, you colt? - Yes, sir!

- I'm right here, Kabeer! - No! It's too much!

- Please, Kabeer, stay in your half! - My half!

I'll cut you in two halves, you dummy!

Then, I'll hang you like a beef carcass!

And that is actually what I'm good at!

You look amazing and you're glowing like the sunshine!

Thank you, sweetheart! That's so nice of you!

- He's weird, but so cute! - He's savage!

- Yes! Indeed! Indeed! - He's really something!

Kabeer!

- Good morning! - Have a sweet morning...

that would be as sweet as drops of honey!

- Listen! - Yes?

How about you join me?

- Will you teach me how to shoot? - We'll shoot all you want all day long!

What a tough guy! I'm coming!

Miss Nicole! Miss Nicole! Good morning, Miss Nicole!

- Good morning, how are you? - I'm good

where are you going so early this morning?

I was going to get some fresh air what is it? Do you need anything?

No, I only wanted to check up on you and see if you need anything

No, dear! Thanks! I'll tell you if I need anything!

I wanted to ask you a question

- Go ahead! - How did it feel to work with...

the great Mr. Adel Imam?

I almost felt like you're feeling now while you're talking with me!

- I have another tiny question - Go ahead!

Is this the natural color of your hair or is it dyed?

- These are the secrets of the trade! - Excuse me! As you can see...

I have a curly hair

and I really want to make it straight like yours how did you make your hair straight?

Do you need to know right now, Hadeya? I'll tell you about it later

- we'll talk later! - Ok

- Good morning, Kabeer! - Hello! Hello! Hello!

- How are you doing today? - I'm doing great!

So, tell me...

did you sleep well last night or did you get bothered by the mosquitoes?

Don't be afraid, I had it covered

but tell me are you used to shooting fire everyday?

Of course, when I'm in a good mood...

I shoot from 600 to 700 bullets in the early morning

You're so funny!

- Ok, listen! Can I try? - Of course, you can...

but I'm scared for you because it's very heavy

Don't worry, or are you stingy people?

How could we be stingy? We're the most generous people

I'm just afraid that you might hurt someone around here

you know, it's fine if you do that you can do whatever you want, sweet girl!

- It's so heavy! - I told you so!

- Look! - Like this?

You should press it to your shoulder like this

- Like this? - Yes

and then you take a deep breath

- just like this - Like this?

Then you put that small part that looks like a fly's leg...

under the middle of the target

- Leave this to me, Kabeer! - You scared me!

Come to me, darling I'll teach you

a woman can only be taught by a woman like her

give it to me!

Good morning!

hold the rifle like this, sweet girl

then look at the target with those pretty eyes of yours

and fire with your soft finger

- Like this? - Like this, girl!

I'm sick of this food!

What do you mean? By the way I tried so hard to know your favorite food!

I eat this food everyday...

but I'm here in Upper Egypt and I want to eat your food

I mean some beans and cheese...

- some puffed pies! - Get us some puffed pies, girl!

By the way, Upper Egypt's food is full of fat and it'll make you chubby

- So what? Don't they eat it? - Get the fava beans!

- I'm going to eat with them - Don't go, he'll embarrass you...

- and turn you down and you'll look bad - It's none of your business, stupid Fazzaa!

Why don't leave the others do whatever they want, brother?

What a misfortune! Did I even get close to them?

- Excuse me! - Hurry up, please! I mean, don't eat a lot

- Can I have breakfast with you, Kabeer? - We'll be so happy about this

Thank you

- Here you go - What is this?

- It's Mufataka - What did you say?

It's a main dish here

And this is the main mesh cheese!

wait a second, one second

try this

- It's so hot! - Do you mean it's delicious or not?

- I mean it's so spicy - So is it delicious or not?

- It's delicious, good - I hope it kills you!

- Can you give one more piece of bread? - Sure!

- Here you go, honey - Thank you

Move away, Hadeya! Move away!

- Something got into my eye - May God protect you!

Blow in it! Blow in it!

- May God protect you! Should I get the doctor? - What's the need for doctor? Move away!

- Come here, Honey! I'll blow in it - But be careful, ok?

Be carful, girl! You'll hurt her eye!

- Why are you sitting here alone? - I couldn't sleep

so I decided to sit on the balcony and smoke hookah

Do you want me to go and leave you sitting here alone?

I mean, do you want me to go and leave you sitting here alone?

How could I let you leave? How could I do that?

I will even call someone to get you honey, Basbousa, Knafeh...

- and sweets - Please, I can't!

Ever since I got here, I've been eating and drinking until I felt like I gained weight

What do you mean by you gained weight?

You are whipped cream!

And when you gain more weight you will look even better

Listen, Kabeer, you didn't tell me what do you do for living?

- I have a soil that I cultivate - What did you say?

I have a soil... you won't understand it! Soil means land

I cultivate the land and harvest it, then trade the crop

You're funny! So tell me...

tell me about yourself what do you do at weekends?

How do you like to spend your free time?

There's nothing specific

- Don't you play sports? - No, I used to play sports long time ago

when we were young we used to drown dogs in the canal

in the night we used to hunt scorpions

and when I got a little older I used to play kung fu

Ok, listen! Do you listen to music?

Is there anyone who doesn't listen to music? It's the food for the soul

God bless your soul! Whom do you like to listen to?

I listen to Umm Kulthum and Mr. Mohamed Roshdy

and Michael Jackson until his album that's called "Dangerous"

and from the new singers I listen to Abdul Baset Hammouda...

Muhammad Abu Lamouna, Ali Jarmon...

and Justin Timberlake

What about me? Don't you listen to my songs?

How could that be?

"This is who I am this is what I like..."

and lastly there's nothing more beautiful than this!

This song touched me a lot

- How did it touch you? - As if it cracked my spirit...

- and it was a deep crack! - A crack!

- I don't understand, did you like it or not? - I liked it a lot!

I'm really glad that I met you, Kabeer

Because you met me?

And we are so glad that you came here and we saw you live

Thank you

- thank you - "Kabeer!"

What a buzzkill! I have to go now

- Can I smoke off your hookah? - I wish I was a hookah!

I have organized an amazing picnic for you

we'll watch all of the Egyptian pets the donkeys, the chickens, the ducks...

and all of the Egyptian pets

What a sweet morning!

I hope you a sweet morning as well, Kabeer

- tell me, is this your carriage? - Yes...

but it could be ours why don't come with me for a ride?

- Are you serious? - That can't happen!

We have things we need to do today I'll make you ride whatever you want, come on

No, it's fine I won't be late, bye!

Oh my God!

- Good morning! - Good morning to you!

"Life is life!"

Also a life! Sing with me!

By the way! I'll only wait for three minutes and if she doesn't return, I'll leave!

This is imprudence! No, it's indeed imprudence!

Is it taking them that long for a ride? Why? Where did they go?

- It's ok, enough! It's not my fault, Johnny! - Where did they go?

Like they say here, Johnny the absent party is not faulty

This is nonsense! you're throwing random words! What does it mean? What does it mean?

It doesn't make any sense! You're just bluffing! What are you saying?

- Johnny, I mean let's wait a little more - "Wait"? "Wait"!

I'm done! I can't stand on my feet!

And I can't believe it! I, Johnny, the Arab's Beckham...

who all girls in this world dream of talking to and I ignore them and turn them down...

- be ignored like this? -That can't be!

- I get ignored! - It can't be, but I mean...

- I'll go inside! Inside! - Let's wait more...

- Didn't you see El Kabeer, guys? - See him?

We saw him outside 7 hours ago he took Nicole for a ride, and they disappeared

- Alone? - No, there's a white horse with them

- It's obvious that they're comfortable together - What a shameless behavior!

- "Because we're together and the..." - "Because we're together and the..."

- "And for the first time..." - "And for the first time..."

How cute! It's still early, Kabeer!

Are you messing around with this miss until midnight?

Watch your tongue, Hadeya! Did you forget who you're talking to or what?

Yes I did! Because when a woman like her comes here...

and starts trying to take you from me then I have to forget!

- What happened, Hadeya? Calm down! - Close your mouth!

- Let me tell you something... - Enough! Stop talking!

End of discussion!

This ''cowboy'' girl will become my wife!