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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,280 "Boy!" 2 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,960 "Boy!" 3 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,240 "I came home and brightened the place" 4 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,240 "Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat" 5 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,360 "Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations" 6 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:19,240 - "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer" 7 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,400 "Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men'' 8 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,240 "A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion" 9 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,280 "As proud as an eagle sly like a fox" 10 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,080 "Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer" 11 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,200 - "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix" 12 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,200 "I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice" 13 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,160 "That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous" 14 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,920 "Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid" 15 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,200 - "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid" 16 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,240 "I can rule any people no matter how many" 17 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,280 "It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor" 18 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,400 "Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids" 19 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,040 "They have to obey me or they will disappear'' 20 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,960 "Objection!" 21 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,240 "Yeah" 22 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,520 "Yeah" 23 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,240 "Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake" 24 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,320 "And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break" 25 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,200 "You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake" 26 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,320 "My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake" 27 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,320 "Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother" 28 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,240 "Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy" 29 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,440 "If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs" 30 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,440 "mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy" 31 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,560 - "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen" 32 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,560 "I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can" 33 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,560 "No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try" 34 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,640 "Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word" 35 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:54,040 "An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate" 36 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,720 ''End of story!'' 37 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,000 "Boy!" 38 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:26,080 "Episode 10" 39 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,240 - Yes, hold on, Johnny! - "Today, we'll have another..." 40 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,960 - Wait! I guess there's something important - "The ambassador David Mack..." 41 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,080 I adore this film! I watched it over a hundred times... 42 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,040 but I still like to watch it! 43 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,680 - Thomas! - Are you crazy? 44 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,800 Johnny! Excuse me but it looks like you don't realize... 45 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,080 - how important your job is! - Easy, Man! 46 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,160 How long have you been the mayor? 47 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,520 Well, I've been the mayor for a while now 48 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,520 Ok, what have you done so far? Nothing! 49 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,320 All what you've done is that you didn't stick to our program... 50 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,520 and started doing what you like to do only! 51 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,600 Ok, I'm sorry! From now on I'll do the things that I like... 52 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,800 as well as the things that you like! Are you happy now? 53 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,080 - Come on! What about the village? - Oh! Yes! The village! 54 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,640 Did you forget that you're the mayor? Did you forget that the mayor has to... 55 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,360 - connect with the people of the village? - What should I do then? 56 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,200 Shall I go to them one by one to connect with each alone? 57 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,120 No! Let me take care of it! I have the perfect solution! 58 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,240 - Spit it, man! - The media! 59 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,640 Johnny, the media will let you enter each house in the village... 60 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,760 to say what you want to say to your people 61 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,720 didn't you see how it's working in Hollywood and how it affects the people there? 62 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,640 Even here, in Egypt the media plays a significant role! 63 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,240 For example, the sweater Amr Diab wore when he shot... 64 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,680 Tamally Maak's video clip! Do you know how many sweaters like it have been sold? 65 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,000 2 million and they weren't even original! 66 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,720 In Al Mazareeta alone 10 thousand sweaters like it have been sold! 67 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,920 - Ok - Do you know that the 3 kg dumbbells... 68 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,840 in all the gyms in Egypt are now known as Rubi's dumbbells after her song's video clip? 69 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,480 - Yes! I know it! "Why is he hiding it?" - "Why is he hiding it?" 70 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,840 - "I really don't know! And I..." - "I really don't know! And I..." 71 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,720 It's so hot! So, you mean that we should make a film, right? 72 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,360 - Wow! Let me be the star, Johnny! Ok? - What star and what film? What are you saying? 73 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,560 We should launch a channel Al Mazareeta Channel 74 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,800 - it's cool, isn't it? Yes! - It's such an amazing idea! 75 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,000 - Yes! - But that would cost me a lot of money 76 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,840 Only at the beginning! But eventually you'll regain your money and make profit 77 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,000 - I mean, with the adds and the sponsor's help - I'm in! 78 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,480 But we should keep it a secret from... 79 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,000 I'm sure that those morons are up to something! 80 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,760 They've been like that for a week now! They're constantly talking in secret! 81 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,560 So what? Don't you know the proverb that says... 82 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,200 "When you interfere with other people's lives it usually backfires" 83 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,680 Let's stay out of it, Kabeer! 84 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,120 Look, Johnny! Come take a look, too, Thomas! 85 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,040 This logo is good but the other one looks better 86 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,560 - it seems more original, right? - Yes 87 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,560 Shh! Hold on! 88 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,360 Right! 89 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,600 Honestly, guys I like the first one 90 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,040 But I feel like the first one is dull, Johnny! It's not so... 91 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,960 - Yes, the second one is way better, honestly! - What? Why are you giving me your opinions? 92 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,840 You, stay out of it! And you... 93 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,440 did you forget who you are? I'm the owner of the channel! 94 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,160 And you work for me! Don't forget that, Thomas! 95 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,800 - I can destroy you! - Ok, calm down! It's not a big deal anyway! 96 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,560 Also, we agreed from the start that all what has to do with fashion and style.... 97 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,480 - Ok! Ashly! - Shh! 98 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,320 - What did you do with the satellite company? - They just sent us an email... 99 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,120 saying that they received the first instalment from their bank... 100 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,640 - and they booked us the channel's frequency - Great! 101 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,360 - Things got serious now! - Now, we only need to wait for Hagras... 102 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,120 to get us the permits that we've been trying to obtain for 2 weeks now... 103 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,640 I really don't know why it took us so long to get them! 104 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,520 - I got you the permits! - Wait! 105 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,920 Did you see how they silenced Hagras? 106 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,760 - Although he got here yelling and shouting! - You're right, Kabeer... 107 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,960 they're obviously up to something really bad! 108 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,880 You can find out what they're up to do you know how? 109 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,960 - Tell me! - I'll tell you how! 110 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,080 Well? Won't you confess, boy? Confess! 111 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,600 - What do you want me to say? - So, you're not confessing, right? 112 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,800 Come here, boy! 113 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,120 Hello, Kabeer! Welcome! Welcome to the warehouse! 114 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,120 Good job, guys! 115 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,840 - Tell me, did he speak? - He still resisting! 116 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,880 - But we'll make him confess pretty soon! - How long have you been torturing him? 117 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,120 For a little while only! I mean, for 2 hours or so now! 118 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,240 What? You'll kill him this way! Get his head out of the water, dummy! 119 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,080 Don't forget that he's a fellow citizen! 120 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,360 We can't stand loosing him! 121 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,600 Hagras! Come here, Hagras! 122 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,320 Don't worry! I won't hurt you! 123 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,760 Had I decided to hurt you, I would've! But I don't want to hurt you! 124 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,520 Do you? 125 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,320 - I'm begging you, Kabeer! Don't hurt me! - This is good! 126 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,720 - Then tell me, Hagras! - What do you want me to say? 127 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,800 Those two have been beating me up for two hours now! 128 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,440 They're asking me to confess! They're asking me to confess! 129 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,560 - What shall I confess? Tell me, and I'll do it! - Oh, dear! 130 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,000 - Didn't you tell him what I told you? - You didn't tell me to do so, sir! 131 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,880 I'll tell you what I told him but he forgot to tell you about! 132 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,880 - Please! Yes? - Now... 133 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,240 Johnny and his friends are up to something... 134 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,720 - it seems so recently, what is that? - What is it? 135 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,920 - What do you think it would be? - You obviously liked the water... 136 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,280 and this swimming-like torture, Hagras! 137 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,720 - Fazzaa! - Yes, sir! 138 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,920 I'll tell you! I'll tell you! I will! I will! 139 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,280 A channel! Mr. Johnny wants to launch a new channel 140 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,120 and he'll be on the national TV 141 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,720 So, he's up to launch a channel and be on the national TV and all, right? 142 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,440 - Listen, Hagras! - What? 143 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,800 If you said a single word about what happened here... 144 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,400 I'll cut you into small pieces that would be this big! 145 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:24,240 But why wait? I'll give you a small hint right now... 146 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:28,200 so that you wouldn't even think about telling anyone about this! 147 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,320 - Ashraf! - Yes, Kabeer? 148 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,800 - Do what you have to do! - As you wish, Kabeer! 149 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,280 Please, don't, Kabeer! Please, don't, Kabeer! 150 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:43,360 - If he launched one channel, I'll launch 10! - So, what should we do, Kabeer? 151 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,960 Get me that satellite guy Bassiouni Sat 152 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,720 - then, follow me to my house - Yes, sir! 153 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,120 - Listen, Bassiouni, and pay attention so well! - What is it, Kabeer? 154 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,960 I want to be on the television 155 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,600 How exactly? Do you want to be an actor? 156 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,080 What are you saying, you bull? Stop being so stupid! 157 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,320 I want to launch my own channel... 158 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,720 - like all those channels on TV! - Oh! 159 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,200 - It's not a big deal, Kabeer! - What do you mean? 160 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,920 I need a 10 thousand meters wire... 161 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,280 a video tape and 2 reels to be put inside of it 162 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,200 - then, we'll launch the channel! - Calm down, Bassiouni! Or I'll kill you! 163 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,160 Are you going to fly or what? 164 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,760 - Then what? Go on? - That's all! 165 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,760 - Seriously? - You also have to pay me 80 EGP 166 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,360 No problem! No problem! Then, I'll have a real channel, right? 167 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,480 For sure, Kabeer! And all the people of Al Mazareeta will watch it! 168 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,520 If you really did this, Bassiouni I'll pay you generously! 169 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,440 Don't you doubt it, Kabeer! I'm Bassiouni Sat! 170 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,040 I let the people of the Egyptian countryside watch Euro SAT channels! 171 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,040 Stop bragging about it, man! 172 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,960 - Anyway, how much time will it take? - 2 weeks at most! 173 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,520 Then, the people of the village will watch you on TV and you'll become a super star! 174 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,600 That will be great! 175 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,480 Listen to me! You should do all this work in secret 176 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,360 if you let anyone knows about this, Bassiouni... 177 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,680 I'll cut your tongue off... 178 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,760 and throw you on the railway so that the train would pass over your body! 179 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,560 And I'll electrify you as well! 180 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,280 - Tomorrow will be a significant day! - I can't wait, man! I can't wait! 181 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,880 Tomorrow, I'll finally take a step forward in my legendary journey in Al Mazareeta! 182 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,200 You're welcome, Johnny! Have I ever let you down? 183 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,520 What do you have to do with this? Why do you seek credit for my great work? 184 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,360 - You only gave me an idea! - Enough, Johnny! Calm down! What's wrong? 185 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,600 Didn't you notice anything weird lately? 186 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,480 No! It's been going on for a long time but you didn't notice it! 187 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,560 Whenever I did a great and legendary project he starts seeking credit for it... 188 00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,640 - pretending that he came up with its idea! - No! No! That's not what I mean 189 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,840 Oh, do you mean the increasing acne marks on your face? 190 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,960 - Oh, did you really notice them? - It's pretty obvious! 191 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,520 Listen, you need to eat less chocolate and stop stressing yourself out 192 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,040 - Really? No, it's something else - What is it? What? Spit it out! 193 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,760 Well, it's about El Kabeer he hasn't been in our way for a while... 194 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,120 and he stopped interfering in our business as he usually does 195 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,480 I guess that he's only busy with his animals, guards... 196 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,840 - relatives, barns and so! - Even Fazzaa is not around anymore! 197 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,360 Fazzaa! 198 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,960 Your sweetheart! 199 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,800 Fizu! I love you so much, Fizu! Don't leave me, please, Fizu! 200 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,280 - Johnny! She's my sister, you know! - Fizu! 201 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:49,800 - "MAZ TV Opening" - Oh, my poor brother! 202 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,000 Oh, my poor brother! 203 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,720 All what he's doing will be in vain! 204 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,200 He still doesn't know about El Kabeer Channel! What a shock it will be! 205 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,840 Won't you advertise your channel all over the village? 206 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,920 - Of course! But at the right time! - When exactly is that? 207 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,080 Don't worry about it, Hadeya 208 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,760 I need you to pay extra attention to our channel's weekly program 209 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,920 I already started arranging the program of the opening day 210 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,720 The opening day should be, by all means... 211 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:27,480 like that moron always says "Such an amazing day!" 212 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,600 Thomas! Well? 213 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,520 How do I look? Do I look perfect? 214 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,600 I look stylish, right? 215 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,080 Tell me can you see my watch from there? 216 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,480 You can, right? Ok, what? 217 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,600 What? You want me to look angry? Too look like Jan? 218 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,160 No, no, no I want to be me 219 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,320 funky and wild, do you get it? 220 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,760 don't get involved in what doesn't concern you or we will fire you 221 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,520 ok, come on, come on 222 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:01,640 "Stand by, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" 223 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,960 - "MAZ TV" - Good morning, Mazareeta! 224 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,720 What a sweet morning! 225 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,520 Today is your new and amazing satellite channel's birthday... 226 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:15,240 Mazareeta TV! will make you laugh and have a great time... 227 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,280 and it will solve your problems 228 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:25,000 with Mazareeta TV Al Mazareeta is now on the map 229 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,000 what? Again! No I won't do it again 230 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,880 you won't teach me how to perform! I did this and it's done 231 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,160 it's done! This is impossible! 232 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,320 - "MAZ TV" - Welcome to a new episode of our new program... 233 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,120 The fit lady 234 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,480 Our first segment of today of our TV show is food 235 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,520 and of course we all love food 236 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,200 but we should be carful so we don't get fat like bears 237 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,760 today we'll make a very easy meal... 238 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,080 which is broccoli pie with pomegranate 239 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,760 and I know that children asks you to make it for them 240 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,560 mom, I want broccoli pie with pomegranate mom, I want broccoli pie with pomegranate 241 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,520 and they always buy it ready-made but no, we have to say no! 242 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,120 and make a stop in this point 243 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,440 and be aware of our children's health and their digestive system 244 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,240 there is nothing impossible here in our program, The fit lady show 245 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,200 we can't except for our children to eat ready-made food 246 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,760 here, we make everything at home... 247 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,040 using our clean hands and our ingredients are very easy 248 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,280 and very, very simple and you can find it at any supermarket 249 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,120 the ingredients are half cup of olive oil... 250 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,360 three pomegranates... 251 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,480 two grated onions and eggs... 252 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:40,840 and salt dissolved in half cup of warm water 253 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,840 and flour and of course the broccoli 254 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,080 What is that broccoli? Isn't it the same as leek? 255 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,360 It's turnip without water 256 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,080 we'll repeat the ingredients 257 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,000 and now it's time for the segment that every lady likes... 258 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:59,640 a stunning show! Even more than that! From all the fashion lines in the world of 2010 259 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,280 you'll love it! 260 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,000 What are they talking about, Zuhair? 261 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,760 It looks like it's the world cup of the grumpy 262 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,400 Hurry up and finish your job! I hope you die! 263 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,520 "But now that I have time to absorb it..." 264 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,440 "loving this!" 265 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,080 - "Ross..." - "It's all working out!" 266 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,280 "Yeh, I didn't throw any of that out" 267 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,120 - "Ross..." - "It's all working out" 268 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,080 "me and Charli, you too" 269 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,720 "do you know what we should do?" 270 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,520 "The Flap Neck Chameleons of Africa simply prep a burrow for their kids" 271 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,520 "and then they leave them to fend for themselves" 272 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,120 "first, mom uses her zygodactyls feet" 273 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,400 "that means two toes facing forwards and two facing backwards" 274 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,960 "that dig a deep borrow in the earth" 275 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,240 - "now that she's..." - This is so disgusting! 276 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,800 - "the chameleon..." - I swear to God, these people are losers! 277 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,160 - They're the biggest losers, Kabeer - Are these people dumb or what? 278 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,400 they are making a show about lizards and lepers 279 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,000 They are all over the village we even get them off the wall using a slipper 280 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,800 What about that girl Ashly? 281 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,880 She's showing women that look as if they came from the space and she's calling it fashion! 282 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,440 - Stop it, don't call them women! - As you say, Kabeer 283 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,880 Is that how women look like? 284 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:45,520 Where's Mrs. Elissa and Mrs. Hayatem and...? 285 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,440 Look what they are doing to the donkey, look! Look! 286 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,280 - It's a stolen shot by the way - Where is it stolen from? 287 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,560 - Pimp My Ride - Which one is this? 288 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,520 It's that stupid lad's song who sings rap who's called Xzibit and does this 289 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,280 Yes! That's right 290 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,080 Welcome to your program The fancy donkey 291 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,040 this program is important for every farmer and every donkey 292 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,160 we've researched and found that the most important transportation... 293 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,920 in Al Mazareeta and all of the surrounding areas is the donkey! 294 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,920 but why all donkeys are traditional? 295 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,880 Why? Why all of them either white or gray...? Why? 296 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:28,640 Why isn't there a special donkey? And that is where the idea of this show came! 297 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:33,040 That we'll take your traditional donkey and we'll turn it into a fancy donkey 298 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,480 and we have a donkey is called Mishmish 299 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,320 he thinks that if he calls him Mishmish then he will no longer be traditional 300 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,720 there it is and his owner is called uncle Said, let's have a look 301 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,320 The story is that I have had Mishmish since he was little 302 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,600 I raised him as one of my children I considered him as one of my kids 303 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:55,480 from two to three years ago Mishmish has changed... 304 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,440 he was braying all day and night... 305 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,640 and dropping dirt and wallows in the ground 306 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,240 anyway, I thought that I should fix what is going on with Mishmish 307 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,400 I found out that Mr. Johnny made a program in his channel 308 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,720 so I decided to go to Mr. Johnny maybe he will figure it out 309 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,040 and when I came to Mr. Johnny and gave him the donkey... 310 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,120 I said to myself that God might help us and Mr.Johnny would help us 311 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,000 and I hope that everything goes well 312 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,720 and uncle Said was really lucky... 313 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,000 because he's the first participant in our show The fancy donkey! 314 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,160 - Uncle Said! - Hello, Mister 315 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,760 What's going on, brother? 316 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,560 - Everything is good - How're you doing? 317 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,000 - Are you ready to see the surprise? - Hopefully, I am ready! 318 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,760 - Are you prepared? - Honestly I can barely stand on my feet... 319 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,840 but come on may God not disappoint us 320 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,960 3, 2, 1! 321 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,040 What's all of this? What did you do to the donkey? 322 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,080 -"Where's the donkey?" - You stupide idiots! 323 00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,920 - O, lord! - What do you think you're doing, dummy? 324 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,160 - You're not entering a market? There's a woman! - I'm sorry sir, but it's urgent! 325 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,680 - What is it? - Bassiouni Sat wants to tell you... 326 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,000 that everything is ready... 327 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,120 he connected all the cables and he prepared the broadcasting 328 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:18,160 after two days, once the sun rises, El Kabeer channel will be on every TV in Al Mazareeta 329 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,960 Good job, Bassiouni 330 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:21,880 - Fazzaa! - Yes, sir! 331 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,320 - Once it's dark outside, I want you to... - It's night time now! 332 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,000 Once everybody's asleep are you happy now? 333 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,120 To go to the village and put posters and flyers everywhere 334 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:33,680 - What are these flyers? - Flyers, man! Brochures 335 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:39,840 I want people to see El Kabeer ads everywhere once they wake up 336 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,400 As you command! It will happen, Kabeer! 337 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,880 - Fazzaa! - Yes! 338 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,440 Leave! 339 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,520 What's this? 340 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,680 What are all these posters? And what does it say? 341 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,120 "If you watch it, you'll like it..." 342 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,160 "if you change it, we'll hit you" 343 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,280 - is it a puzzle! - What is that? He even wrote something on top! 344 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,360 - K1? - K1, what does it mean? 345 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,440 - El Kabeer channel 1 - K for Kabeer! 346 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,360 - Yes - How smart! 347 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,480 No, no, no! Don't tell me that this is the channel advertisement! 348 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,680 It works as an ad for tutoring Rida Zenhum, the king of chemistry! 349 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,920 No, no! The background is awful and his style is so ugly 350 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,360 and what nonsense is it written here? 351 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,880 - Do you know what's bothering me the most? - What? 352 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,400 It's not that he's competing with me but that he's copying me 353 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,800 he doesn't have a style, he's a wannabe he's just like Hagras and everybody else here 354 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,560 it doesn't mean that people can copy me just because I have an amazing style and I look cool 355 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,640 you've been my friend for a very long time and you have a totally different style! 356 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,920 - But no one copied me - Because your style isn't as cool as mine 357 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,000 - I mean it's cool but not so cool - Ok 358 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,800 By the way! This slogan would sound good as a rap song, listen! 359 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,040 "If you watch it, you'll like it! If you change it we'll hit you! Again! If you watch it..." 360 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,480 - "If you change it we'll hit you!" - "If you change it we'll hit you!" 361 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:58,320 "If you watch it you'll like it! If you change it you change it we'll hit you!" 362 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,760 Thomas, I'm shocked! Really shocked! 363 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:04,680 First I thought Hagras's the only one who copies me but turns out that El Kabeer's the same 364 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,040 he could shave his mustache and take off his turban and do my hair style, this's impossible! 365 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,240 I'm really scared that I'd wake up one day and find everybody look like Johnny! 366 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,600 I have a very good idea for a program that I can use for the channel 367 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,400 - What is it? - Be yourself 368 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,800 It's so beautiful wait a minute, be yourself 369 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,240 What is that? What kind of programs do you think El Kabeer will use for his channel? 370 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,360 Of course they would be useless programs 371 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,760 I'm sure of that for example, he might copy the 80's 372 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 he might make a program and call it The strings of the night 373 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,760 do you know that flower that swings with the waves left and right? 374 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,920 "Darling, I've missed you..." 375 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,200 "no, really, I've missed you why don't you come?" 376 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,600 - Do you know what else he could be doing? - What? 377 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,440 a variety program and he would call it Talk and vigil 378 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,560 Who do you think El Kabeer would bring as a broadcasters? 379 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,880 - He defiantly won't bring Mona el-Shazly - Sure! 380 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,080 But he might use one of his guards 381 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,400 - Ashraf! - Ashraf! 382 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,600 and Ashraf will make a program called Ashraf around the world! 383 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,000 a new adventure everyday in a new field 384 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,920 a field of manga once, then it'd be of bananas and it'd be of almonds 385 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,600 Just so you know this program would be exclusive on this channel 386 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,640 Yes, exclusive it's a trend these days 387 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,200 - we'll witness days! - Full of laughter 388 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,520 But do you know something, man? God loves us a lot, why is that? 389 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,760 - Why? - Because we're really sweet and cute 390 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,600 I mean, amazingly God creates a beautiful thing... 391 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,960 and so you can feel its beauty he creates something not that pretty next to it 392 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,640 for example, the epidermoid fig and the barbary fig... 393 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,920 they're both fig but... 35151

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