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1
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:16,610
One, two, three, four, five, six.
2
00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:27,750
Three thousand and four, three thousand
and five, three thousand and six.
3
00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:37,250
Excuse me!
4
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,400
Will you be my friend?
5
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,060
No?
6
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,240
Ma 'am!
7
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Ma 'am, excuse me.
8
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,780
What are you doing this afternoon?
9
00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:49,540
Would you like to come over for tea?
10
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,760
New Jersey, Massachusetts.
11
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,360
Here's your chewing tobacco, Miss
Oakley. Thanks, kid.
12
00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:22,200
You're looking pretty
13
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,200
today.
14
00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:40,040
You're so strong and manly, Miss Oakley.
15
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,280
Oh, thanks there, darling.
16
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:43,960
Hey!
17
00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:50,600
How about me and you go over to that log
cabin over there, and I use the
18
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,340
luscious size of yours as earmuffs.
19
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,260
She's Louise, Miss Oakley, in the
Tallahassee River.
20
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,140
Okay, let's dance.
21
00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:22,270
A heavenly sound.
22
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,670
Nobody wake me.
23
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,800
Oh, boy.
24
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,420
Read.
25
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:48,350
Thank you.
26
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:29,930
part of you wants to know me and
27
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:36,470
be known gives me hope give
28
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:42,030
you more the other part
29
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:45,810
the place that
30
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,740
Beyond control.
31
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,340
Beyond my wishes and desires.
32
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,000
That secret place.
33
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,760
Is waiting there.
34
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,680
And I have tried.
35
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:53,040
And I have come to understand.
36
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,540
That it's yours to give.
37
00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:13,540
16, 17, 18, 19, 20,
38
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:14,780
21.
39
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,460
Hi. Hi.
40
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,240
How are you?
41
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:26,960
Come on in.
42
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:33,440
Hi. I was just coming to see if you're
all settled in and how you like it here.
43
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:34,700
Yeah, I'm fine.
44
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:43,000
Um, sure, really quick. I have to go
soon. Okay, sit down. Oh, thanks.
45
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:49,720
What do you want in it? Sugar, milk, low
-fat? Saffron? Just like that. Thank
46
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,620
you. Thanks.
47
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,640
How was your day?
48
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,680
Good. Got a boyfriend?
49
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,000
Girlfriend? Husband? Friend?
50
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,220
Because I'm getting lost in your eyes.
51
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:20,020
Oh, you know what? Look at the time. I
have to go. Thank you so much for the
52
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,440
tea. I hope everything's good.
53
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,000
I hope you're getting settled in.
54
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,760
Yeah, I have friends waiting for me. I
have to go and make whippets again.
55
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,960
Everybody's down in the dumps.
56
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,760
You got a little uncomfortable feeling
back in the trunk?
57
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:55,400
Well, come on down to Bumbledee's House
of Family Fun and Games and Laxatives.
58
00:13:55,740 --> 00:14:02,580
We have a wild supply of laxatives like
Gas -X and other easy, ex -lax, moving,
59
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:07,820
flowing things like that. We also have a
wild variety of games like Checkers,
60
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,600
Chess, Shoots and Lo -
61
00:14:31,119 --> 00:14:32,119
Yes, sir.
62
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,200
Sure, no problem.
63
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,340
Gasex, laxatives, anything you need to
take the gunk out. So you take these,
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00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,820
enjoy, and take care of all that brown
stuff, and you'll be good for the
65
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:56,820
morning.
66
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,580
I'm not constipated.
67
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:00,950
Funny, you certainly look it.
68
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,430
What can I do for you?
69
00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:05,750
I would like to be entertained.
70
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:11,490
Entertained. Well, we got tons of games,
chess checkers, balls, cards, whatever
71
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:15,830
you need down the aisle. So step on down
and don't bother me.
72
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,250
But I don't think that you understand.
73
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,690
I would like some friends.
74
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,670
Friends. You like friends.
75
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:30,550
Well, I don't know if I can help you out
with that one. How about some
76
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:31,550
interactive games?
77
00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:35,250
Something like that? You can meet
friends that way. How about a Ouija?
78
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:40,990
Ouija. Look, look, Ouija. You even got
an O and a Ouija. Looks like fun, don't
79
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:41,990
it?
80
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,850
What is a Ouija?
81
00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,390
Okay, so you take the little triangle
here.
82
00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:50,910
You wave it around and, you know, you
conjure up spirits from, you know, yeah,
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00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:55,650
from beyond. Like you could talk to Aunt
Harriet and Captain Nemo and whoever
84
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:56,650
you need.
85
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,090
Tons of fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun,
fun.
86
00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:04,950
So I could, like, conjure up people from
the past to, like, hang out around the
87
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,810
house and maybe have tea with?
88
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,830
Sure. Oh, great. Great. That's $2.
89
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:13,950
$2.
90
00:16:14,530 --> 00:16:18,350
$2. One, two. You have so much fun and
enjoy.
91
00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,490
You have a good one.
92
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,170
Bye -bye.
93
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,560
Let's go Annie Oakley.
94
00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:47,140
Come on.
95
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,640
Let's go Annie Oakley.
96
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,300
Come on.
97
00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:19,119
Who the hell are you supposed to be? I'm
Chang I -sao. In 1801, I was the
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00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,640
greatest pirate of the Southeast
Pacific, and I was in charge of the Reds
99
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,140
Swedes, which had 1 ,500 ships and 70
,000 men.
100
00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:30,900
We worked hard against the Chinese army.
I wasn't only a pirate, but I also led
101
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:31,920
the Vietnamese rebellion.
102
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,000
Yeah, that's great, sister.
103
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,000
Why don't you drop the skirt and get
naked?
104
00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:13,550
Is Annie here?
105
00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:15,150
Annie?
106
00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:20,870
Wow. You look different.
107
00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:23,030
What did you do?
108
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:28,790
Did you change something?
109
00:23:29,110 --> 00:23:30,610
You look different.
110
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,230
You look really good.
111
00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:35,030
I'm just living a clean life, sugar.
112
00:23:35,510 --> 00:23:36,510
Wow.
113
00:23:37,170 --> 00:23:39,750
Well, you want to have tea?
114
00:23:40,490 --> 00:23:41,650
Why don't you go get it yourself?
115
00:23:44,370 --> 00:23:46,390
Um, yeah, right.
116
00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:49,350
Do you, what do you, you feel like doing
something?
117
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:51,290
Do you want to go shopping, or?
118
00:23:51,610 --> 00:23:52,610
I'm really busy.
119
00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:58,650
Are you sure? You, we could go, we could
go shoe shopping, or?
120
00:23:58,950 --> 00:24:02,610
No, I'm really busy, and you have to go,
because I'm really busy.
121
00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:06,670
But it'll be really fun, and we'll have
a good time, and. No, you gotta go. Are
122
00:24:06,670 --> 00:24:08,930
you sure? Yeah, you gotta go. But it'll
be really fun, though.
123
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:10,920
I think you need to go, because I'm
busy.
124
00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:12,640
Oh, but... No, seriously.
125
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,060
But are you serious? Yeah.
126
00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,380
Well, can we do this another time?
127
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,260
Bye, I'm busy. Bye.
128
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,880
Bye. Oh, hold on.
129
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,160
I'm busy. Bye.
130
00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:24,780
Bye. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Bye.
131
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Jeez.
132
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:31,680
I don't want Doris falling. I can have
Chungi's shower.
133
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:46,730
Come on, Annie Oakley.
134
00:24:49,850 --> 00:24:51,130
Let's go, Annie Oakley.
135
00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:53,510
You can do it this time.
136
00:24:54,970 --> 00:24:56,310
Come on, Oakley.
137
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:03,210
Oh, I'll even settle for a pork levain.
138
00:25:03,410 --> 00:25:06,390
All right, give me Annie Oakley.
139
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,520
Who are you?
140
00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:29,320
I am Mata Hawe from the great Germans.
141
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:30,720
Triggered Germans.
142
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,740
I am the most beautiful woman of the
year.
143
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:38,080
Wow, you are a stalker branch. You don't
have a high opinion of yourself.
144
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,260
You sound like one of those catered
Americans.
145
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,740
Um, nein.
146
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,380
Bist nicht German?
147
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:48,540
That's too bad, because if you were an
American, I'd have to sleep with you.
148
00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:50,520
The coordinates of our fleet.
149
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:53,320
I mean...
150
00:25:54,409 --> 00:25:55,409
23 Skidoo?
151
00:25:57,650 --> 00:25:58,650
Kilroy live here?
152
00:25:58,830 --> 00:26:00,230
Just call me Joe?
153
00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:04,450
Gee, I hope nobody tries to sleep with
me to get the instructions on the A
154
00:26:04,450 --> 00:26:05,450
-bomb.
155
00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:14,190
What do I look like?
156
00:26:14,930 --> 00:26:18,870
You look like a screen door, baby, and
I'm gonna slam you all night long.
157
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:06,800
I was having the nicest dream.
158
00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:09,240
I was covered in lard.
159
00:35:09,860 --> 00:35:11,900
I was sitting on Santa's lap.
160
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:14,140
And I was telling him everything.
161
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,640
And I thought I was weird.
162
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:18,280
What?
163
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,920
This is broken.
164
00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:23,900
I can't bring back Annie Oakley from the
dead.
165
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,120
Well.
166
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,660
All Ouija boards work differently there,
sweetie.
167
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,520
You know, some you could bring back
Annie Oakley, some, you know, just you
168
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,880
back spirits and you hear voices in your
head like I do once in a while, every
169
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:39,880
month or so.
170
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:45,660
Well, this is the right one because I
did bring back people from the past.
171
00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:49,920
Oh, okay. I'm sure you did. I did. I can
prove it. I can prove it.
172
00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:01,300
Nice. I'll just hold on to these if you
don't mind.
173
00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:06,620
Well, thank you for showing the naked
photos of yourself, you and your
174
00:36:06,620 --> 00:36:10,920
girlfriend with the funny hat. But the
only thing that's doing for me now is
175
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,800
making my shorts feeling a bit queasy.
176
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:17,000
No, you don't understand. I really did
bring back people from the past.
177
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:21,660
I did. I brought back Mata Hari and
Changi Xiao. Changi Xiao?
178
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,300
What's Changi Xiao known for?
179
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,960
You know, great hooters.
180
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:34,080
Okay, well tell me this, Batman. If you
could conjure up spirits and change the
181
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,660
course of history, why don't you just
get rid of starvation and make our
182
00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:43,820
technology like a super planet instead
of bringing back famous chicks and doing
183
00:36:43,820 --> 00:36:45,300
some little box diving?
184
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,420
Well, isn't that what you would do?
185
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,760
Yeah, probably.
186
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,280
I don't know, just bang it around and
you'll fix it and bring back Annie
187
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,660
or whatever you want. Okay, I'll try.
188
00:36:56,170 --> 00:36:59,530
So, listen, next time you have a little
photo session, you want to invite me
189
00:36:59,530 --> 00:37:03,550
over, just give me a call. I got a nice
digital camera, three chips, anything.
190
00:37:04,250 --> 00:37:05,890
Okay, well, I got KY Jelly.
191
00:37:06,250 --> 00:37:07,249
Not interested.
192
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:08,250
How about Anal Glide?
193
00:37:08,450 --> 00:37:09,450
Nope.
194
00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,170
Come on.
195
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,360
This one's for all the corn in Iowa.
196
00:37:55,020 --> 00:37:57,080
Jeez, what the hell is wrong with this
thing?
197
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,760
So, majestic wizard, you have summoned
me from the past.
198
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,080
Who are you?
199
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,400
Let me guess.
200
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Cleopatra.
201
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:13,120
I am Bon Jovich from Jersey Tania.
202
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,880
Queen of the Swamp Lands.
203
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:19,900
Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am.
204
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,038
No, you're not.
205
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,860
Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am.
206
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,720
Ah, yes, ma 'am. No, you're not.
207
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,560
Why don't you turn over?
208
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:36,800
You take karate, sweetie, because your
ass is kicking.
209
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:35,960
Oh, Cairo.
210
00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:41,580
Annie, hi sweetie.
211
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,520
Hi. Wow, you look gorgeous.
212
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,000
Thanks. I love this outfit on you.
213
00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:51,840
Oh, thanks. Wow, it's so cute. What a
drive.
214
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,660
Man, you really live out in the middle
of nowhere, don't you?
215
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,360
So anyway, can I use your bathroom?
216
00:48:56,580 --> 00:48:57,580
No.
217
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,200
No. Thank you. How did you get my
address?
218
00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:04,160
Oh, those wacky credit card companies.
Call them up, they'll give just about
219
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,420
anybody's home address.
220
00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:09,220
So, uh, I hope you got plenty of rolls,
honey, because I go through them like
221
00:49:09,220 --> 00:49:10,220
water.
222
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,380
Yeah, let me see this on you.
223
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:18,180
This top is so... I love this.
224
00:49:18,860 --> 00:49:22,740
Jesus Christ, does anybody have an ice
pick? Hey!
225
00:49:34,470 --> 00:49:38,450
That was a load off. You're really going
to need that place to be fumigated, if
226
00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:44,050
you know what I mean. Um, where are you
going? I'm going to the shop with this.
227
00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:47,410
No, you're not. No, you're not. No,
you're not.
228
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:49,110
It's mine.
229
00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:50,190
Now get out.
230
00:49:50,530 --> 00:49:51,530
Fine.
231
00:49:51,890 --> 00:49:52,890
Yeah, leave.
232
00:49:53,270 --> 00:49:54,590
Bye. Bye.
233
00:50:27,839 --> 00:50:32,260
Hello Let's go Maryland
234
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:24,618
So true.
235
00:51:24,620 --> 00:51:26,740
Wanna spend one of your nine lives with
us?
236
00:51:27,180 --> 00:51:28,300
Oh, holy glory.
237
01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:26,630
What the hell are you doing, Kenny?
You're scaring all the freaking
238
01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:30,790
I'm sorry, Mr. Bubble Dean. I think I
unleashed the powers of hell.
239
01:00:31,090 --> 01:00:33,350
What are you talking about, you moron?
240
01:00:33,730 --> 01:00:37,670
Well, a customer came in here a couple
days ago. She bought a Ouija board. She
241
01:00:37,670 --> 01:00:41,030
was telling me how she could bring back
hot -looking chicks from the past and
242
01:00:41,030 --> 01:00:43,690
present, you know, like Cleopatra and
stuff like that, and she was having sex
243
01:00:43,690 --> 01:00:46,930
with them. So I figured I would go over
to her house and, uh...
244
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:52,100
You know, I tried to videotape her. You
did what? You went over a customer's
245
01:00:52,100 --> 01:00:56,340
house? I actually broke into her house.
You freaking moron!
246
01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:00,460
Why did you gotta go to the customer's
house? Why don't you just go down to
247
01:01:00,460 --> 01:01:02,140
aisle five and get your own Ouija board?
248
01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,220
Who the hell are you?
249
01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:25,080
I'm Helen of Troy.
250
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:29,720
And sweetie, I'm going to use your pubic
hair to floss my teeth.
251
01:08:52,460 --> 01:08:57,340
Hey, who do I want? Who do I want? Who's
super, super hot? Super hot.
252
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:01,779
Catherine the Great. Catherine the
Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catherine the
253
01:09:01,819 --> 01:09:02,419
Come on.
254
01:09:02,420 --> 01:09:06,300
Come on, Catherine the Great. Catherine
the Great. Come on, Catherine the Great.
255
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:08,920
So.
256
01:09:22,170 --> 01:09:23,170
Wanna have sex?
257
01:09:26,710 --> 01:09:27,750
Alright, what the hell.
258
01:09:29,830 --> 01:09:32,390
Just do me a favor and keep the tie on.
259
01:09:42,350 --> 01:09:43,729
Hey Annie, how's it going?
260
01:09:44,010 --> 01:09:46,850
Hi. I haven't seen you in about a week.
Where have you been?
261
01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:49,870
Oh, I was dealing with a lot of stuff.
262
01:09:50,930 --> 01:09:51,930
Like what?
263
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:56,160
Well, I came to the realization that you
can't live in a dream, no matter how
264
01:09:56,160 --> 01:10:01,540
nice it is. A dream is just a dream, and
reality is reality, no matter how cold,
265
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,320
lonely, pathetic, or cruel it is.
266
01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:05,100
It's just fantasy.
267
01:10:06,180 --> 01:10:08,920
What are you talking about? Are you on
drugs or something?
268
01:10:10,700 --> 01:10:12,860
You know, Doris, I think about you a
lot.
269
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,640
Yeah, I've been thinking about you, as
always.
270
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:23,860
So what do you say you drop those
cookies and let me eat your cookies?
271
01:10:25,480 --> 01:10:27,880
I think it sounds good to me. Let's go.
19473
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