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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:16,610 One, two, three, four, five, six. 2 00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:27,750 Three thousand and four, three thousand and five, three thousand and six. 3 00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:37,250 Excuse me! 4 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,400 Will you be my friend? 5 00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,060 No? 6 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,240 Ma 'am! 7 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,580 Ma 'am, excuse me. 8 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,780 What are you doing this afternoon? 9 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:49,540 Would you like to come over for tea? 10 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,760 New Jersey, Massachusetts. 11 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,360 Here's your chewing tobacco, Miss Oakley. Thanks, kid. 12 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:22,200 You're looking pretty 13 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,200 today. 14 00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:40,040 You're so strong and manly, Miss Oakley. 15 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,280 Oh, thanks there, darling. 16 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:43,960 Hey! 17 00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:50,600 How about me and you go over to that log cabin over there, and I use the 18 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,340 luscious size of yours as earmuffs. 19 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,260 She's Louise, Miss Oakley, in the Tallahassee River. 20 00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,140 Okay, let's dance. 21 00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:22,270 A heavenly sound. 22 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,670 Nobody wake me. 23 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:58,800 Oh, boy. 24 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,420 Read. 25 00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:48,350 Thank you. 26 00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:29,930 part of you wants to know me and 27 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:36,470 be known gives me hope give 28 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:42,030 you more the other part 29 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:45,810 the place that 30 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,740 Beyond control. 31 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,340 Beyond my wishes and desires. 32 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,000 That secret place. 33 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,760 Is waiting there. 34 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,680 And I have tried. 35 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:53,040 And I have come to understand. 36 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,540 That it's yours to give. 37 00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:13,540 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 38 00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:14,780 21. 39 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,460 Hi. Hi. 40 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,240 How are you? 41 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:26,960 Come on in. 42 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:33,440 Hi. I was just coming to see if you're all settled in and how you like it here. 43 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:34,700 Yeah, I'm fine. 44 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:43,000 Um, sure, really quick. I have to go soon. Okay, sit down. Oh, thanks. 45 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:49,720 What do you want in it? Sugar, milk, low -fat? Saffron? Just like that. Thank 46 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,620 you. Thanks. 47 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,640 How was your day? 48 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,680 Good. Got a boyfriend? 49 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,000 Girlfriend? Husband? Friend? 50 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,220 Because I'm getting lost in your eyes. 51 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:20,020 Oh, you know what? Look at the time. I have to go. Thank you so much for the 52 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,440 tea. I hope everything's good. 53 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,000 I hope you're getting settled in. 54 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,760 Yeah, I have friends waiting for me. I have to go and make whippets again. 55 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,960 Everybody's down in the dumps. 56 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,760 You got a little uncomfortable feeling back in the trunk? 57 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:55,400 Well, come on down to Bumbledee's House of Family Fun and Games and Laxatives. 58 00:13:55,740 --> 00:14:02,580 We have a wild supply of laxatives like Gas -X and other easy, ex -lax, moving, 59 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:07,820 flowing things like that. We also have a wild variety of games like Checkers, 60 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,600 Chess, Shoots and Lo - 61 00:14:31,119 --> 00:14:32,119 Yes, sir. 62 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,200 Sure, no problem. 63 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,340 Gasex, laxatives, anything you need to take the gunk out. So you take these, 64 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,820 enjoy, and take care of all that brown stuff, and you'll be good for the 65 00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:56,820 morning. 66 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,580 I'm not constipated. 67 00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:00,950 Funny, you certainly look it. 68 00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,430 What can I do for you? 69 00:15:02,790 --> 00:15:05,750 I would like to be entertained. 70 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:11,490 Entertained. Well, we got tons of games, chess checkers, balls, cards, whatever 71 00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:15,830 you need down the aisle. So step on down and don't bother me. 72 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,250 But I don't think that you understand. 73 00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,690 I would like some friends. 74 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,670 Friends. You like friends. 75 00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:30,550 Well, I don't know if I can help you out with that one. How about some 76 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:31,550 interactive games? 77 00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:35,250 Something like that? You can meet friends that way. How about a Ouija? 78 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:40,990 Ouija. Look, look, Ouija. You even got an O and a Ouija. Looks like fun, don't 79 00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:41,990 it? 80 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:43,850 What is a Ouija? 81 00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,390 Okay, so you take the little triangle here. 82 00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:50,910 You wave it around and, you know, you conjure up spirits from, you know, yeah, 83 00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:55,650 from beyond. Like you could talk to Aunt Harriet and Captain Nemo and whoever 84 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:56,650 you need. 85 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,090 Tons of fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. 86 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:04,950 So I could, like, conjure up people from the past to, like, hang out around the 87 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,810 house and maybe have tea with? 88 00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,830 Sure. Oh, great. Great. That's $2. 89 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:13,950 $2. 90 00:16:14,530 --> 00:16:18,350 $2. One, two. You have so much fun and enjoy. 91 00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:20,490 You have a good one. 92 00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,170 Bye -bye. 93 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,560 Let's go Annie Oakley. 94 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:47,140 Come on. 95 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,640 Let's go Annie Oakley. 96 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,300 Come on. 97 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:19,119 Who the hell are you supposed to be? I'm Chang I -sao. In 1801, I was the 98 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,640 greatest pirate of the Southeast Pacific, and I was in charge of the Reds 99 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,140 Swedes, which had 1 ,500 ships and 70 ,000 men. 100 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:30,900 We worked hard against the Chinese army. I wasn't only a pirate, but I also led 101 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:31,920 the Vietnamese rebellion. 102 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,000 Yeah, that's great, sister. 103 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,000 Why don't you drop the skirt and get naked? 104 00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:13,550 Is Annie here? 105 00:23:14,150 --> 00:23:15,150 Annie? 106 00:23:18,190 --> 00:23:20,870 Wow. You look different. 107 00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:23,030 What did you do? 108 00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:28,790 Did you change something? 109 00:23:29,110 --> 00:23:30,610 You look different. 110 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,230 You look really good. 111 00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:35,030 I'm just living a clean life, sugar. 112 00:23:35,510 --> 00:23:36,510 Wow. 113 00:23:37,170 --> 00:23:39,750 Well, you want to have tea? 114 00:23:40,490 --> 00:23:41,650 Why don't you go get it yourself? 115 00:23:44,370 --> 00:23:46,390 Um, yeah, right. 116 00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:49,350 Do you, what do you, you feel like doing something? 117 00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:51,290 Do you want to go shopping, or? 118 00:23:51,610 --> 00:23:52,610 I'm really busy. 119 00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:58,650 Are you sure? You, we could go, we could go shoe shopping, or? 120 00:23:58,950 --> 00:24:02,610 No, I'm really busy, and you have to go, because I'm really busy. 121 00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:06,670 But it'll be really fun, and we'll have a good time, and. No, you gotta go. Are 122 00:24:06,670 --> 00:24:08,930 you sure? Yeah, you gotta go. But it'll be really fun, though. 123 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:10,920 I think you need to go, because I'm busy. 124 00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:12,640 Oh, but... No, seriously. 125 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,060 But are you serious? Yeah. 126 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,380 Well, can we do this another time? 127 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,260 Bye, I'm busy. Bye. 128 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,880 Bye. Oh, hold on. 129 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,160 I'm busy. Bye. 130 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:24,780 Bye. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Bye. 131 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,000 Jeez. 132 00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:31,680 I don't want Doris falling. I can have Chungi's shower. 133 00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:46,730 Come on, Annie Oakley. 134 00:24:49,850 --> 00:24:51,130 Let's go, Annie Oakley. 135 00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:53,510 You can do it this time. 136 00:24:54,970 --> 00:24:56,310 Come on, Oakley. 137 00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:03,210 Oh, I'll even settle for a pork levain. 138 00:25:03,410 --> 00:25:06,390 All right, give me Annie Oakley. 139 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,520 Who are you? 140 00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:29,320 I am Mata Hawe from the great Germans. 141 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:30,720 Triggered Germans. 142 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,740 I am the most beautiful woman of the year. 143 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:38,080 Wow, you are a stalker branch. You don't have a high opinion of yourself. 144 00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,260 You sound like one of those catered Americans. 145 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,740 Um, nein. 146 00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,380 Bist nicht German? 147 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:48,540 That's too bad, because if you were an American, I'd have to sleep with you. 148 00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:50,520 The coordinates of our fleet. 149 00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:53,320 I mean... 150 00:25:54,409 --> 00:25:55,409 23 Skidoo? 151 00:25:57,650 --> 00:25:58,650 Kilroy live here? 152 00:25:58,830 --> 00:26:00,230 Just call me Joe? 153 00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:04,450 Gee, I hope nobody tries to sleep with me to get the instructions on the A 154 00:26:04,450 --> 00:26:05,450 -bomb. 155 00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:14,190 What do I look like? 156 00:26:14,930 --> 00:26:18,870 You look like a screen door, baby, and I'm gonna slam you all night long. 157 00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:06,800 I was having the nicest dream. 158 00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:09,240 I was covered in lard. 159 00:35:09,860 --> 00:35:11,900 I was sitting on Santa's lap. 160 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:14,140 And I was telling him everything. 161 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,640 And I thought I was weird. 162 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:18,280 What? 163 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,920 This is broken. 164 00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:23,900 I can't bring back Annie Oakley from the dead. 165 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,120 Well. 166 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,660 All Ouija boards work differently there, sweetie. 167 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,520 You know, some you could bring back Annie Oakley, some, you know, just you 168 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,880 back spirits and you hear voices in your head like I do once in a while, every 169 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:39,880 month or so. 170 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:45,660 Well, this is the right one because I did bring back people from the past. 171 00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:49,920 Oh, okay. I'm sure you did. I did. I can prove it. I can prove it. 172 00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:01,300 Nice. I'll just hold on to these if you don't mind. 173 00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:06,620 Well, thank you for showing the naked photos of yourself, you and your 174 00:36:06,620 --> 00:36:10,920 girlfriend with the funny hat. But the only thing that's doing for me now is 175 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,800 making my shorts feeling a bit queasy. 176 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:17,000 No, you don't understand. I really did bring back people from the past. 177 00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:21,660 I did. I brought back Mata Hari and Changi Xiao. Changi Xiao? 178 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,300 What's Changi Xiao known for? 179 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,960 You know, great hooters. 180 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:34,080 Okay, well tell me this, Batman. If you could conjure up spirits and change the 181 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,660 course of history, why don't you just get rid of starvation and make our 182 00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:43,820 technology like a super planet instead of bringing back famous chicks and doing 183 00:36:43,820 --> 00:36:45,300 some little box diving? 184 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,420 Well, isn't that what you would do? 185 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,760 Yeah, probably. 186 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,280 I don't know, just bang it around and you'll fix it and bring back Annie 187 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,660 or whatever you want. Okay, I'll try. 188 00:36:56,170 --> 00:36:59,530 So, listen, next time you have a little photo session, you want to invite me 189 00:36:59,530 --> 00:37:03,550 over, just give me a call. I got a nice digital camera, three chips, anything. 190 00:37:04,250 --> 00:37:05,890 Okay, well, I got KY Jelly. 191 00:37:06,250 --> 00:37:07,249 Not interested. 192 00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:08,250 How about Anal Glide? 193 00:37:08,450 --> 00:37:09,450 Nope. 194 00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,170 Come on. 195 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,360 This one's for all the corn in Iowa. 196 00:37:55,020 --> 00:37:57,080 Jeez, what the hell is wrong with this thing? 197 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,760 So, majestic wizard, you have summoned me from the past. 198 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,080 Who are you? 199 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,400 Let me guess. 200 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000 Cleopatra. 201 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:13,120 I am Bon Jovich from Jersey Tania. 202 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,880 Queen of the Swamp Lands. 203 00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:19,900 Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. 204 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,038 No, you're not. 205 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,860 Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. 206 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,720 Ah, yes, ma 'am. No, you're not. 207 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,560 Why don't you turn over? 208 00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:36,800 You take karate, sweetie, because your ass is kicking. 209 00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:35,960 Oh, Cairo. 210 00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:41,580 Annie, hi sweetie. 211 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,520 Hi. Wow, you look gorgeous. 212 00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,000 Thanks. I love this outfit on you. 213 00:48:48,260 --> 00:48:51,840 Oh, thanks. Wow, it's so cute. What a drive. 214 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,660 Man, you really live out in the middle of nowhere, don't you? 215 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:56,360 So anyway, can I use your bathroom? 216 00:48:56,580 --> 00:48:57,580 No. 217 00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,200 No. Thank you. How did you get my address? 218 00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:04,160 Oh, those wacky credit card companies. Call them up, they'll give just about 219 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,420 anybody's home address. 220 00:49:05,660 --> 00:49:09,220 So, uh, I hope you got plenty of rolls, honey, because I go through them like 221 00:49:09,220 --> 00:49:10,220 water. 222 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,380 Yeah, let me see this on you. 223 00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:18,180 This top is so... I love this. 224 00:49:18,860 --> 00:49:22,740 Jesus Christ, does anybody have an ice pick? Hey! 225 00:49:34,470 --> 00:49:38,450 That was a load off. You're really going to need that place to be fumigated, if 226 00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:44,050 you know what I mean. Um, where are you going? I'm going to the shop with this. 227 00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:47,410 No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. 228 00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:49,110 It's mine. 229 00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:50,190 Now get out. 230 00:49:50,530 --> 00:49:51,530 Fine. 231 00:49:51,890 --> 00:49:52,890 Yeah, leave. 232 00:49:53,270 --> 00:49:54,590 Bye. Bye. 233 00:50:27,839 --> 00:50:32,260 Hello Let's go Maryland 234 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:24,618 So true. 235 00:51:24,620 --> 00:51:26,740 Wanna spend one of your nine lives with us? 236 00:51:27,180 --> 00:51:28,300 Oh, holy glory. 237 01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:26,630 What the hell are you doing, Kenny? You're scaring all the freaking 238 01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:30,790 I'm sorry, Mr. Bubble Dean. I think I unleashed the powers of hell. 239 01:00:31,090 --> 01:00:33,350 What are you talking about, you moron? 240 01:00:33,730 --> 01:00:37,670 Well, a customer came in here a couple days ago. She bought a Ouija board. She 241 01:00:37,670 --> 01:00:41,030 was telling me how she could bring back hot -looking chicks from the past and 242 01:00:41,030 --> 01:00:43,690 present, you know, like Cleopatra and stuff like that, and she was having sex 243 01:00:43,690 --> 01:00:46,930 with them. So I figured I would go over to her house and, uh... 244 01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:52,100 You know, I tried to videotape her. You did what? You went over a customer's 245 01:00:52,100 --> 01:00:56,340 house? I actually broke into her house. You freaking moron! 246 01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:00,460 Why did you gotta go to the customer's house? Why don't you just go down to 247 01:01:00,460 --> 01:01:02,140 aisle five and get your own Ouija board? 248 01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,220 Who the hell are you? 249 01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:25,080 I'm Helen of Troy. 250 01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:29,720 And sweetie, I'm going to use your pubic hair to floss my teeth. 251 01:08:52,460 --> 01:08:57,340 Hey, who do I want? Who do I want? Who's super, super hot? Super hot. 252 01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:01,779 Catherine the Great. Catherine the Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catherine the 253 01:09:01,819 --> 01:09:02,419 Come on. 254 01:09:02,420 --> 01:09:06,300 Come on, Catherine the Great. Catherine the Great. Come on, Catherine the Great. 255 01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:08,920 So. 256 01:09:22,170 --> 01:09:23,170 Wanna have sex? 257 01:09:26,710 --> 01:09:27,750 Alright, what the hell. 258 01:09:29,830 --> 01:09:32,390 Just do me a favor and keep the tie on. 259 01:09:42,350 --> 01:09:43,729 Hey Annie, how's it going? 260 01:09:44,010 --> 01:09:46,850 Hi. I haven't seen you in about a week. Where have you been? 261 01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:49,870 Oh, I was dealing with a lot of stuff. 262 01:09:50,930 --> 01:09:51,930 Like what? 263 01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:56,160 Well, I came to the realization that you can't live in a dream, no matter how 264 01:09:56,160 --> 01:10:01,540 nice it is. A dream is just a dream, and reality is reality, no matter how cold, 265 01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,320 lonely, pathetic, or cruel it is. 266 01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:05,100 It's just fantasy. 267 01:10:06,180 --> 01:10:08,920 What are you talking about? Are you on drugs or something? 268 01:10:10,700 --> 01:10:12,860 You know, Doris, I think about you a lot. 269 01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,640 Yeah, I've been thinking about you, as always. 270 01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:23,860 So what do you say you drop those cookies and let me eat your cookies? 271 01:10:25,480 --> 01:10:27,880 I think it sounds good to me. Let's go. 19473