Original subtitles

stay here naked with you all day.

You don't have to go if you don't want to.

That's your answer.

That's your answer? I promised him, okay? He's my old friend.

Yeah, and what? I'm just your lover?

Yeah.

Good thing, though, because I don't think he's quite as sexy as you.

You guys have done a great job with this place.

Who else is coming?

Actually, Grace said she might stop by. Oh, so how do you guys all know each

other? Oh, we were roommates in college, and we were all friends then.

I bet you guys have some stories, huh?

Yeah. You could say that it was sort of the walk of shame variety.

The walk of shame?

Okay, picture this.

Coming home early on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I'm walking down the

for a big group of college girls, still wearing their party clothes.

And in their pockets, bras and panties. Oh, like they didn't go home the night

before.

Exactly.

Yeah, we went to college in the one -night -stand capital of the world. I

you go to a dance club, a nightclub, meet a girl, pick her up, and bam, you

at her place that night.

Yeah, Cassie had that moved down to, like, it was no one's business.

You know, she'd pick up the most random guy and take him home before she even

knew his name.

Look at that.

I love one -night stands.

Why?

Because they're all first -night sex.

What makes that so great?

You've got to be kidding.

First -night sex on the sexual heat scale always rates a straight 10.

Sexual heat scale?

Yeah, you know, like, what's the hottest sex you can have?

Well, what other sex is there? What choice do you have other than first

sex? Well, yeah, there's the first -time sex, then there's affairs, long -term

relationship sex,

And then dating.

So, what's the difference between dating and long -term relationships when it

comes to sex?

Well, dating sex is hot.

But it's not as hot as one -night stands or first -night sex.

But it's definitely hotter than long -term relationships.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I think our sex life is still pretty hot.

Well, I'm sure your guys' is.

But my point is that when you're dating, you just haven't reached boredom yet.

Sounds like something Andy knows all about.

Grace, I'm so happy you made it.

Happy birthday, Matt.

I couldn't find any Everclear, so I hope a single malt scotch will do.

Ah, a woman after my own heart. Thank you so much. All right.

Grace, this is Andy's friend, Sasha.

Actually, we love her. Hi.

Hi, it's nice to meet you, Sasha.

So what were you guys talking about before I entered? It sounded

Actually, Sasha was telling us about the different levels of sexual heat.

Apparently she's a huge fan of one -night stands.

Actually, it's first -night sex that I prefer, but one -night stands will do in

a pinch.

So, I presume you weren't a one -night stand?

No. I'll leave that to the experts.

Well... How would you classify this?

A friend of mine scheduled a date with a new guy, but she forgot he was coming,

so she made other plans.

Jennifer? Anybody home?

Hold on, hold on.

Who is it?

It's me, Jake.

Jake who?

We're supposed to have a date tonight.

Oh, right. I thought that was tomorrow night. Hold on.

I hate you so much.

Alright, that's enough. You gotta go.

Was the guy she was with a relationship?

Actually, they just met.

Sounds like first sex with a twist.

Sounds like a big old mess to me.

I don't see how a chick can go from one guy to the next without batting an eye.

Well, she didn't mean to.

I mean, I think she was planning on just having coffee.

And then leaving it there.

Did she?

Well... Coffee turned into dinner. Dinner turned into drink.

And before you know it, they were back at her place.

Good thing you got all ready to go out.

Good thing.

Who first sex experiences in one day, huh?

Jackpot. Actually, they're still together.

Well, it doesn't matter as long as they haven't entered the long -term arena.

You know, I mean, I'm sure their sex is still good.

So what qualifies as long -term?

Well, for example, I once dated a guy who's in a long -term relationship now.

Are you guys still friends?

We used to be, until he went back to his wife.

Kevin and his wife had been together two or three years.

And right from the moment they met, they practically moved right on in together.

Instant access. Nothing wrong with that.

That's what Kevin thought.

Except that not even regular sex can erase the taste of regular sex.

Apparently, their sex life had become pretty predictable and routine.

I can't believe this guy was confiding all of that to you.

Well, I didn't find out until after his first affair.

His first affair?

Yeah, apparently his first affair had been very memorable and it had

quite an effect on him.

Where did he find her?

Why? You want one?

No, I was just wondering because she sounds like a pro.

And you would know because?

Knock it off, you two.

You're interrupting Sasha's story.

So, you heard about this from Kevin after the affair but before he went back

his wife?

Yeah. I never knew what he saw in her.

I mean, he always talked about having this great connection with her.

But, you know, to me it's... It just sounded more like a leash than anything

else. So did they get back together?

He was at a bar one night and ran into her and I guess things went from there.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Denise, we can't do this here. We're going to see.

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I never thought I'd say this, but I am so happy I tried to cheat on you

Yes, I'm as happy as I am.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Actually, I think it sounds kind of slutty.

That's the thing about long -term relationship sex.

It's only when you know someone really well and you totally trust them that you

can do things like that.

So, honey, what are you going to go down on me at the bar?

Well, I guess you're going to take me out, and then you'll find out.

Sorry, guys, you'll have to excuse us for a minute.

We have some reservations to go make, I think.

So, what was all this talk about sex in public?

If you don't have sex in public so bad, why'd you drag me in here?

Well, I could do this.

How did you and Andy meet?

I picked him up at a bookstore.

Really? I didn't know Andy could read.

Well, he told me one of his friends was moving into a new apartment and he was

looking at design books because apparently the person that just got the

apartment is into decorating a lot.

When was that?

Two months ago.

I just moved into my new apartment about two months ago.

Oh, really? Are you two friends?

We used to be.

You know, back in college.

I haven't actually seen him in about a year.

So, tell me more. Why do you think one -night stands are so hot?

I had a friend who swears the best sex she's ever had was a one -night stand.

She met this guy on a plane, and by the end of the flight, they were practically

in love.

Hmm.

Oh. Oh.

So if it was so great, why was it only a one -night stand?

Well, he lives in England and he's married, so they've never had another

opportunity to be together.

But if he's married, wouldn't that qualify as an affair?

Yeah, sure, for him, but for her it would be a one -night stand.

By your definition, affairs only count for the ones that are actually in the

relationship?

Yeah, sure.

So if Andy and I have sex...

then he would be the one having the affair?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

What's going on in here? We're gone for ten minutes and you guys already look

like you're going to kill each other?

Nothing's going on. I was just getting clarification on Sasha's definition of

affair.

Seems pretty simple to me if somebody's...

caught cheating with somebody else, then it's an affair.

For both the cheater and the person he's cheating with?

Why do you assume the person cheating is a he?

Because it usually is.

For example, do you guys remember Rick Thomas in school?

Of course.

Him and Katie were, like, practically married through school.

Sure he was.

And she moved with him to New York.

Everything was golden in their relationship.

She totally thought they were headed towards marriage.

I'm surprised we haven't received any invitations to their wedding.

Well, there's a reason for that.

What happened?

He had an affair.

No, he didn't.

Apparently, it wasn't just an affair.

It was practically a relationship with the woman he worked with.

So Kate found out?

Not until he broke up with her.

You're kidding.

How can someone not know their partner's cheating?

It happens.

What's going on?

What do you mean?

I need a drink.

Maybe we should go.

Andy, wait at least until we bring out the cake.

I think it's getting a little stuffy in here. Maybe we should move it into the

game room.

Okay. Sounds good.

Uh, Andy, you know, I just was thinking you could probably help me out with some

stuff in the kitchen.

Sure.

I'll be out in a minute, Sasha.

So I heard some really good gossip about Cassie Morgan the other day.

You're kidding. I haven't seen her since college.

Yeah, well, I ran into her friend Maria the other day, and apparently her old

tricks are starting to backfire on her.

Well, y 'all knew they would.

You remember Cassie, the one we were talking about earlier that we went to

school with? The girl who would go to the club and pick up a guy and go home

with him in the first five minutes?

Yeah, the one -night -stand girl.

Yeah. She's the one that started the whole one -night -stand versus long

relationship sex conversation.

Gotcha.

So anyways, Cassie still hasn't changed her game plan from when we were in

school. She's still going to the bar, meeting guys, going home with them.

And, you know, she's kind of hoping that she'll meet a Prince Charming that'll

sweep her off her feet.

Not exactly the way you plan to meet Prince Charming, is it?

Nope. She's kissed a lot of frogs, let me tell you.

What is it?

My wedding ring.

It doesn't fit my finger anymore.

And I don't like to go out without it.

I'm sorry, my boy.

You pig!

Couldn't see that one coming.

Not at all. You know, who wears their wedding ring around their neck?

I mean, if you're gonna cheat, just leave it at home, buddy.

I used to wear my engagement ring around my neck.

You were engaged?

Yeah, a couple of years ago. He was my high school boyfriend.

Why not wear the ring around your finger?

Well, because guys acted weird around me when I was out.

And I wasn't really serious about him to begin with.

You weren't serious?

Then why did you accept it? Because it was shiny.

Back to Cassie.

So is she still doing that whole bar thing?

Actually, she met a waiter.

Really? She was always talking so much smack about doctors and lawyers and guys

with money.

You thought she'd marry a Saudi prince and be set for life.

Well, I guess it turned out that this waiter turned out to be her true love.

Wait.

I've been waiting three months.

Then you can wait another three minutes.

Okay.

Bravo. That girl deserves to be happy.

It won't last.

How can you say that? You don't even know them.

It doesn't matter. I can tell.

How? Well, the girl's used to partying.

She's used to getting all kinds of attention from rich, good -looking guys.

She's going to get bored with the waiter and the sex in about five minutes.

Is that what happens to you?

Actually, I take them away from their girlfriends and their wives.

Then I make them fall in love with me, and I dump them.

How about that?

You're full of shit.

Yeah, about Dumbo in part, but... I don't plan on leaving Andy anytime soon,

don't worry.

Speaking of which, what are the guys doing?

So, what's up with you and Sasha?

You know, she's sexy. She's cute.

I just like hanging with her.

But... We just don't have a lot in common.

Since when do you need something in common with a chick to get laid?

Come on, big guy. You don't talk that shit around Kim now, do you?

No, I don't, exactly, because I don't want to. I'd like to get laid in the

decade. Exactly.

But seriously, I mean, you didn't want, I mean, this relationship thing, you

remember? You know, I fucked that up. That was all my fault. I didn't want to

get my teeth kicked out, but I just didn't see it coming.

I really didn't.

Meaning? Meaning I don't even think I know how to be in a relationship.

I mean, if I don't do it now, I'm never going to know.

You are so freaking enlightened, brother.

You're just as bad as my buddy Thomas. You remember Thomas?

He worked with him.

That's right.

And he was a workaholic.

I mean, he wouldn't put any effort into any relationship at all. You know, even

if he had to.

And then, you know, I mean, it got to the point where he was so engrossed in

work all the time, he really didn't even know how to start it up with a woman,

you know, get the fire going.

But then, one evening at work, one of our co -workers showed up late, you

Uh oh.

I thought you said that he forgot how to make a move. That really kind of sounds

like a move to me.

Well, actually, what had happened with him is he was just totally fantasizing

about this woman so much that he got his lines mixed up with what was actually

reality and fantasy.

The whole scenario just completely screwed him up.

So what did he do?

He just kind of got her out of her mind for a while until he, you know, could

figure out what to do with her.

Doesn't sound like a good plan to me.

Well, that's the thing. It worked for about a day, and then he realized that

he could think about at work was her.

So then, you know, he rationalized with himself and came down to the fact that

he just basically got up, went over to the phone and called her and went for

and he did it.

And? And she took him back to her place, and she took complete control over him.

Nice. How?

The usual.

You know, blindfold, handcuffs.

Release me.

So how do you like it?

Well, they're still together.

I think she made him realize that he was kind of neglecting himself by burying

himself in all that work and that he needed that part, the part of the

relationship.

You know, it made him feel as a whole person again.

Well, that's exactly my point.

So then why did you fuck things up with Grace?

That's a very good question. And I've been asking myself that.

for a long time with absolutely no fucking idea.

Well, it's a good night to drink.

Come on, let's do it.

So, we still haven't resolved the argument about which type

of sex was hotter.

Well, I didn't think it was a question to it. I mean, it's obviously had it

it's new.

I don't know about that.

What do you mean? How can you possibly think anything else?

Look, you know, you've got to understand. I mean, if you've been with

you actually know what they like. I mean, that's got to be better than being

asked and directed.

But that never happens.

It does, right, guys?

Actually, it does happen. I mean, it doesn't happen all the time.

But when it does, it's totally worth it.

I think you're just saying that because you have to.

Hold on.

We've got friends, Cara and Jake.

Now, their relationship is based on exactly the same type of sex that we're

talking about here.

Of course. That's the beginning.

You can't tell me they sustain it the whole way through.

Yeah, well, actually, if you listen to the way they tell it, it just got

I didn't know that.

Thank you.

I think they're telling you what they want you to believe. I just don't think

it's possible.

Actually, no, I know it's true with them.

How do you know? Have you seen them?

I haven't seen them, but I've heard it.

When we were at a resort for our friend's wedding, their room was right

ours. That's right. I remember Jake and Kara. They were great together all

night. And then when we all went to bed, things got even better.

You guys can talk all you want. I still don't think any long -term relationship

is going to have great sex.

Do you really believe that? I do.

So you don't think that a long -term relationship with us is going to have

sex either?

I didn't say that.

You actually did.

Basically, if I'm going to be looking to spend my life with somebody and hot sex

is a requirement, then I should be looking somewhere else.

Andy, I was just kidding. You seem pretty serious to me.

Come on.

Let's go home and get naked. Why don't I just take you home?

To your home. Oh, are you serious?

Will you be coming back?

We'll see.

Sorry about that.

Better know now than late, right?

Well, that was interesting.

If you like watching a train wreck.

So what do you think?

I think Andy and I need to have a talk. You think that's going to happen?

Who knows? If he comes back tonight, maybe.

Do you two remember Mike Murphy?

Married to Tracy?

Yeah, they're a great couple.

They were, I guess, until he had an affair.

He didn't.

Yes, actually, with an exotic dancer, some chick that he met in a bar.

Dumbass. Well, to hear him tell the story, I think things got to the point

Tracy that it had cooled down so much that he couldn't get her to do anything

outside of the box.

And then he just got bored with it.

That's no excuse.

You're right. He should have had a conversation with her about what was

in it for him.

Because no matter what, something's always missing.

Exactly. So what happened with Mike and Tracy?

Mike didn't give up. I mean, he made sure that she heard his apology. I mean,

even wrote a letter explaining himself about what had happened and his side of

the story after she stormed out of the room.

Now, you know, obviously that night later, he had slept on the couch.

As well he should.

But when he came home from work the next day, Tracy was waiting for him with a

very different attitude.

Oh.

Thank you.

Now,

what exactly happened between you and Andy? You mean, besides him cheating?

Before the affair?

My point is this.

You two need to have a conversation, okay, where you both take responsibility

for your part in it.

Because otherwise, you'll never be able to get past it.

What if I don't want to get past it?

Then why be so snarky with Sasha?

Happy birthday, Matt.

Thanks for sharing it with me.

Oh my God, the cake. I almost forgot.

I'll help you with it. Come on, let's go get him. You okay?

I'll be fine.

You still here?

I haven't had the cake yet.

Oh, I guess.

Cake.

Is everything okay?

I guess.

Lucky I didn't give her a key to my place, huh?

I'm sorry.

What for?

I said to Mike.

It's a good thing.

No, I'm sorry about us.

I mean, I let everything in my life take a

priority over our sex life.

My job, going to the gym, my friends, everything.

Let me finish.

We should have had a talk a long time ago before you cheated.

I never should have cheated on you.

You know, it was so stupid.

It meant nothing to me.

What it did mean is I lost the most important thing in my life.

I never stopped loving you.

Oh, my God.