Original subtitles

All of life is a coming home.

Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers.

All of us.

All the restless hearts of the world.

All trying to find a way home.

It's hard to describe what I felt like then.

Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow.

You don't even know you're walking in circles.

The heaviness of your legs and the drifts.

Your shouts disappearing into the wind.

How small you can feel.

How far away home can be.

Home.

The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin and a goal or

And the storm?

The storm was all in my mind.

Or as the poet Dante put it, in the middle of the journey of my life, I

myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path.

Eventually, I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place.

How many fingers do you see? You crazy mother... Stop sneaking up on me like

that. How many?

Four. Four?

Four!

Another idiot.

You're gonna love it here.

Got a new one, Jean.

Hunter Adams.

Self -committed.

Suicidal. Slate him with Dr.

Prack.

Rudy! What's the word, my man?

He left that bed in three weeks.

He won't give you any trouble.

He needs another bedpan. They're in the closet. Wake up at 7 a .m.

Excuse me.

Is there any way I could have my own room?

Oh, absolutely.

Just call the concierge and ask for a suite overlooking the fountain.

No, I prefer the cabana room.

Get some sleep.

You're, um... You're a lot fuzzier than my last roommate.

Keeps me warm.

Amy!

Get him away! Get him away! Get him away!

Get him away!

Okay, I'm gonna... You!

Raider! You brought him with you when you opened the door! Who?

Save me! I'm sorry.

My father died when I was nine.

He was in the army. He wasn't home very much.

Two weeks before he died, he told me that in the Korean War, it felt like he

lost his soul.

All this time, I thought it was me.

I moved seven times in the last year.

I've had several jobs.

Nothing seemed to fit.

I don't seem to fit.

And when your father died, how did that make you feel?

I don't know. I was nine.

It was like there's this distinction suddenly between you and the rest of the

world.

I looked around me.

Life went on just like it did before.

But it wasn't like it was before.

My uncle helped. He would visit.

He at least listened.

And I thought, if I could light my own farts, I could fly to the moon.

Or at least Uranus.

But if I couldn't do that, at least I could use my penis as a pogo stick.

And that might be a way of getting around.

I'm sorry?

Yeah, that's good.

Yes, well, I think you're making fine progress hunter. We'll talk later in

Arthur Mendelson?

Ran beating industries.

Guy was one of the most innovative minds of our time.

Look at him now. He can't even count the windows.

God,

what happened to him? Why is he here?

Self -committed, genius syndrome, Howard Hughes type shit.

Constantly digging into the creative potential of the human mind.

I guess he dug too deep.

Why are we meeting in here? It's cramped.

Well, Everton, we're meeting in here so that Rudy can participate.

It's cramped.

Does anyone else have a thought on that?

Cramped!

I think he has a question.

Do you find that funny, Hunter, making fun of a man's infirmity?

Maybe he does have a question.

He's alive.

He's catatonic.

He still has a brain. Maybe he wants to participate, too.

Yeah.

Maybe he has a question.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe he knows why we're cramped.

Maybe Beanie knows a lot more than we give him credit for.

Excuse me, Beanie?

Which way is heaven?

That'll be enough, Hunter.

Beanie, how much taller is Will Chamberlain than you?

Right.

Hey, Beanie!

Beanie!

Where's the ceiling?

That's enough. Stop it.

Where do the birds fly, Beanie?

How do you say hello to Hitler?

Beanie, how does Hitler say hello?

Hey, Beanie, Beanie, how do you check an elephant for a hernia?

Beanie, who would win a staring contest?

Bend your medial collateral ligaments. Place one talus in front of another. I

don't see where you'd have a problem.

Of course, if there were a news story covering this event, the headline might

read, Small Brain Enters Room.

Fingers.

What's the answer?

Oh, you're another one of those bright young fellows who always know the right

answer, isn't it?

Welcome to real life.

How many do you see?

There are four fingers, aren't there? No, no, no. Look at me.

You're focusing on the problem.

If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution.

Never focus on the problem. Look at me.

How many do you see?

Look beyond the fingers.

How many do you see?

Eight.

Eight. Eight.

Yes, yes.

Eight's a good answer.

See what no one else sees.

See what everyone else chooses not to see out of fear, conformity, laziness.

See the whole world anew each day.

Now, it's who says you're well on the way.

You didn't see something here besides a crazy, bitter old man.

You wouldn't have come in the first place.

What do you see when you look at me, Arthur?

You fixed my cup.

I'll see you around.

Stop. You're throwing off my rhythm.

You'll go blind.

Please. I have to go to the bathroom.

Go.

Right over there, 15 feet away.

I would, but... What, the squirrels?

How many?

There's only one just now.

You can't go to the bathroom because of one squirrel.

If I get off the bed, he'll get the others.

That's not the point.

Squirrels, Rudy.

They're one of the most amiable creatures on the planet.

Oh, no, they're not. On the list of hostile predators, they're right above

bottom. Just above baby chicks and slugs.

What could they possibly want? Your nuts?

Do you think?

Oh, Rudy.

Come on, I'll take you. Don't move.

What?

Don't move.

Another one?

Come into your bed.

On the rail.

Can I jump?

There's one!

At the end of the bed!

Bang! Now, where did I drop the sprinkler?

Behind the door! Behind the door! Behind the door! Behind the door!

Get me out of the bathroom over here!

Bathroom! Bathroom!

Bathroom! Bathroom!

safe to go to the bathroom, Rudy?

No, it's too risky.

No, not when you have a

bazooka.

I'd like to leave.

Hunter, we'll have to discuss this at your scheduled time.

I'm leaving.

And have you thought about what you'll do?

I want to help people.

Last night with Rudy, I connected to another human being.

I want more of that.

I want to learn about people. I want to help them with their troubles.

That's what I do.

But you suck at it.

You don't even look at people when they're talking.

I want to listen. I want to really listen to people.

I'm sorry, Hunter. I can't allow you to leave. I believe you still have some

issues to work out.

Ah, well, I don't need your permission, though, because I admitted myself.

I must warn you, my report will read AMA, that you were signed out of this

hospital against medical advice.

And my report will read IDGARA.

I don't give a rat's ass.

And my name is Patch.

I woke up and I knew. A new

day, a new way, a new.

May I help you?

Yeah, you know, I could really use a foot massage right about now.

Rephrasing, what are you doing here?

I'm your new roommate. I'm moving in.

I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you a little old to be starting medical

school? You know, Babe Ruth was 39 when he joined the Yankees.

No, he wasn't. You're right, but I could really use an example like that, and if

you ever find one, please let me know.

Hi.

That's Adams.

Richard Roman, Georgetown University.

I was awarded the William F. Thompson Scientific Achievement Award.

Emerson Elementary. I once drew a picture of a rabbit that got me two gold

stars.

I'm going to go back over there.

First, do no harm.

What is implicit in this simple precept of medicine?

An awesome power.

The power to do harm.

Who gives you this power?

The patient.

A patient will come to you at his moment of greatest threat, hand you a knife

and say, Doctor, cut me open.

Why?

Because he trusts you.

He trusts you the way a child trusts. He trusts you to do no harm.

Sad fact is, human beings are not worthy of trust.

It is human nature to lie, take shortcuts, lose your nerve, get tired,

mistakes.

No rational patient would put his trust in a human being, and we're not gonna

let him.

It is our mission here to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of

you and make you into something better.

We're gonna make doctors out of you.

Two years of studying, I thought we'd have more contact with patients, didn't

you?

Hi, I'm Patch.

You've just experienced a North American greeting, whereby one person offers a

verbal label to another as an expression of welcome and friendship.

Lesbian, ball buster, airhead, leech, whichever one of these disgusts you the

most, take your pick. Please, pass the word. I'm not here to date. I am not

to flirt. I'm here to study.

Thank you.

I thought only I could repel women with that kind of raw efficiency.

Well, you just met your match.

Patch Adams. Truman Schiff.

Nice to meet you, Truman.

Will you go out with me?

Can I ask you one question?

What? Did you buy everything the dean was saying today?

What do you mean?

I mean that whole drill sergeant thing. Like, we're going to make doctors out of

you medical scum.

Now drop down, give me 20.

That whole marine thing.

We're not even going to see a patient until the third year.

Up until then, it's just memorizing facts. Why don't we just shove the book

Right here on the colon. That's where it's going anyway.

Thanks very much.

So why do you want to be a doctor?

I want to help. I want to connect with people. A doctor interacts with people

their most vulnerable.

He offers treatment, but he also offers counsel and hope.

That's why I love the idea of being a doctor.

I've always been fascinated by the development of the human mind. Ah,

neurons.

Start out so open and spontaneous.

We're real individuals, and then somewhere along the way, we're drawn to

conformance as if we're conditioned by programmed responses.

That's true.

But sometimes you can alter the programmed response just by changing

conditions, altering the parameters.

Let me show you.

We'll call it the hello experiment.

The goal will be to break through programmed response by changing normal

parameters and getting a new emotional response from the person.

Ready to enter data.

Hello.

Hi.

Wait. I don't get it. Hi is a programmed response.

I reached her.

You scared her.

No. Wait.

Wait for it.

Oh, yeah.

There's more. Come with me.

Howdy. Hi.

See, response time is diminishing.

Yesterday, I made 12 random phone calls. I talked to one man named Dale for

three hours. He told me amazing things, Truman. What did this all prove, other

than you're out of your mind?

Truman, what's the difference between a doctor and a scientist?

And don't say salary.

People. Hmm?

We want to become doctors because we want to help people. I want to be a

pediatrician.

Okay, little people.

The point is...

If you want to become a doctor, we have to learn to treat the patient as well as

the disease. That's why we have to dive into people, wade into the sea of

humanity, Truman.

Ballroom 7, right upstairs on your left.

You got any package to mention?

Yes, sir.

Right up the stairs. Hey, does a chicken have lips? You'll find out upstairs.

Come on, let's go. Like a bulldog on a pork chop.

Down in New Zealand, they found a whole new use for sheep. What's that?

Wool.

You killed me. You killed me. I love you. Oh, daddy. I bet you heard

that, too. Come here.

Heard it. Heard it. That's a goat joke.

Rappers. Bullshippers.

What's the difference between a first year and a third year medical student?

Here

we

have a juvenile onset diabetic with poor circulation and diabetic neuropathy.

As you can see, these are diabetic ulcers with lymphedema and evidence of

gangrene. Questions?

Any osteomyelitis?

None apparent, although not definitive.

Treatment? To stabilize the blood sugar. Consider antibiotics, possibly

amputation.

What's her name?

I was just wondering the patient's name.

Marjorie.

Hi, Marjorie.

Hi.

Yes, thank you.

Let's move on.

What are you doing? Continuing needs, Captain.

Maybe we can start a lemonade stand together after we get kicked out of

school.

Cannot stand it in there, Joletta. He doesn't have to talk to me like that.

I know, hon, but really, how good a mood would you be in?

May I? help you oh um so i'll meet you at the club oh

great maybe we'll play the back nine hello i'm patch

i'm studying medicine here well not here but you know

look at here judy another future boss oh i wouldn't look at it like that you may

think i'm exaggerating But in another five years, you'll be so full of

you'll have to hang a cup out your ass just to catch the excess.

Well,

hell, why not?

It's the only time in my life I'm going to outrank him.

Might as well enjoy it.

Who's in that room? No, no. Don't even think about it. He'll bite your head

Mr. Davis, pancreatic cancer.

How long does he have?

Longer than you if you go in that room.

So be sure you steer clear.

Yes, ma 'am.

Thank you.

Hey, what year are you?

What's your name?

Cameron. Hi Cameron.

I'm Patchy.

I have a cold.

It's a bit of a cold.

Is my nose red?

Oh, it is.

It's red.

What's that?

I don't either.

Let's find out.

Text it.

Pay on you.

Hi.

Hi. About to post it up?

on you, Hunter. Patch.

Hunter, Dr.

Pratt was a colleague of mine at Brigham.

He tells me you have a brilliant mind, and like many brilliant people, you

necessarily think the rules apply to you.

Not all the rules, sir, but the golden rule, I think that applies to everyone.

Don't you, sir?

I've also heard you have a real passion to be a doctor, Hunter.

Patch. Truth of it is, Hunter, passion doesn't make doctors.

Understood? Understood.

Good. Medical students, as a rule, have no contact with patients until the third

year. Is that clear?

It is, sir, but don't you think it would be... Our way of doing things is a

product of centuries of experience.

It's all there for a reason.

It's my hospital.

I know everything that goes on inside of it.

Everything. Deviation of the tongue.

There would be a problem with the cranial nerve. Which died.

Right side, 10th nerve. 12th nerve.

How many billions of dollars are wasted on malpractice insurance? That's money

that goes to lawyers that could actually go to patients.

Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Does everybody know Corinne Fisher, Adelaide's roommate?

I invited her to join our study group.

So, Corinne, why do you want to be a doctor?

Is it just me, or do we have a lot of work to do?

It's just a question. I think it's the question, isn't it?

Actually, I don't find the question here in the outline.

What page are you on?

1432, deviation of atomic.

I think we'd learn more if we were working closely with patients.

I thought that's why we're here studying, to learn enough to help the

Adeline, don't waste your breath.

Don't you... Don't you think I see through you?

You act like you're above the system when you're really just a nonconformist.

You have to get under the fingernails of any authority figure that crosses your

path as a way of dealing with some insecurity.

Antisocial personality, I believe. Intriguing diagnosis.

Truman, this isn't funny. Smart people flunk out of here all the time.

You know, odds are, one of the five of us sitting here, actually.

I have another question.

In a perfect system, why are patients referred to by their disease as in that

interesting cancer patient and not by their name?

Well, it certainly isn't to be mean. It's to prevent transference. And why is

that bad? And the one flunking out is... Listen, can we get back to the tongue,

please? What if a doctor becomes emotionally involved with a patient?

wrong with that? Does the doctor explode?

No. Who came up with these rules?

It's against the Hippocratic Oath, I think.

I don't really have time for this.

Sorry.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Truman? Yeah.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stop you from studying. Go away.

Well, I just believe there's more to being a doctor than memorizing facts

the ventricular arteries. I don't care what you think. I care about my biology

test. Well, maybe I could help you. I read the bio book.

You've read the whole book? Oh, yeah.

And I'm on to Whitman.

You know, you can get a copy of Leaves of Grass at the bookstore if you have a

20 % student ID card. I don't want Walt Whitman. Well, he wouldn't want you

either. He was a homosexual.

But that's not relevant. What's relevant is that he was a medical man. He was a

nurse in the Civil War and wrote great poetry.

A foot in lighthearted, I take to the open road, healthy, free, the world...

Look, I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but in a class of 163 students,

are eight women.

Eight. I've had to work really hard to get here, and I'm going to have to work

even harder to stay here. And I'm not about to blow it by wasting my time on

your flighty theories of goodness.

I'm here to learn about medicine.

Period.

Just a guess, but I think somebody's running away from something.

Why can't it just be that I'm running away from you?

One,

two, three.

Very nice.

Very nice.

Well, it's been to you.

I said I'm trying to lose weight. I'm just trying to lose a little weight. Is

that too much? Have I gone too far here?

I've got a boner.

I am a boner.

I'm trying a lot of the dials here, but the bottom line is your TV's broken

there.

My name is Officer Patio Furniture. I'm here today to talk to you briefly about

narcolepsy. Narcolepsy.

Clowns alert!

Very good.

Wide face.

Far face.

The hospital will cover all of your bill.

Any other questions?

My name is Dr.

Phil.

I'll be your surgeon.

Oh, there you are.

Don't believe everything you read.

Looks like you didn't need that study group after all.

Well, it's no 98, but I'm still here.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

You know, this completely disrupts my point of view.

You're so much more convenient thinking of you as an idiot. Hey, don't count me

out yet.

How frustrating.

I study all night and I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails. Forget about

that. I want to show you something that's extraordinary.

An enema bulb?

It used to be.

This amazing piece of rubber, when applied to your face, can brighten

person's day.

Even a suffering patient.

I'm sure it's really great for kids. Oh, no, not just kids. Anybody.

Patients are opening up to me, Corinne. They're sharing their dreams, their

fantasies. Have you heard of the right topic?

They brighten up for one brief moment.

They don't concentrate on the pain.

They don't even feel the pain.

Try it on.

No, thank you. I want you to try it on and help me.

Come on, just try it on. If you don't laugh, I'll never see it again. But if

do, you have to help me.

Just try it on.

Ta -da.

You didn't say anything about Amir.

Who do you think you look like?

Karl Malden?

You can take the nose off now.

So what's the favor?

It's nothing.

Should I go, too?

I said it's nothing.

Well,

congratulations,

Jackie. You've done it all. You've basically nailed every balloon from here

Timbuktu.

That was incredible.

Patch.

Almost as good as the real thing.

One last safari.

It's all I wanted.

Thank you, Truman.

Both of you.

That was wonderful.

It's been a long time for me.

What about you, dear?

What's your fantasy?

When I was a little girl,

Whenever my mother would cook spaghetti, she would let me reach into the pot and

squeeze the noodles.

I've always wanted to be in a swimming pool full of noodles, wall

to wall and top to bottom.

An entire pool full of noodles.

How about a poodle?

And the award for valor goes to Truman Schiff and his red wealth. Thank you,

Truman. Located just above my nasal bone, adjacent to my... Glabella.

Glabella. Good night, Truman.

Right.

Fun, fun kid, but my wealth and I have a study date with the autonomic nerve of

the thorac.

Good luck.

Watch out for the Circle of Willis. Good luck to you.

And our next award.

The tradition of the great poodle handler is where no actual transference

place. All right.

What you did in there, it was very nice, I admit.

Whoa. Is that a little ice that just chipped off? You're never serious, are

No, I tried that for years. Never really worked for me.

Oh.

Well, I'd better go hit the thorax as well, so... I have a crush on you.

Ha! I can't believe I just blurted that out.

Look, thank you for taking me along tonight. I... I actually had fun.

Good night.

Wait a minute.

Just now when I said I had a crush on you, you didn't say, no way, loser, I'd

rather have a lobotomy by a leopard. I mean, that means something.

Well, maybe I was just being polite and I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

But you're not polite.

You're rude.

Sometimes you're downright bitchy.

Good night.

Good night.

Blue skies shining on me.

Nothing but blue skies do I see.

Blue birds singing a song.

Are you a doctor?

No, I'm a medical student.

But if there's anything I can do to help you... You want to help me?

Oh, yeah. What can I do?

Listen, you little do -gooder prick, if you want to make yourself feel good,

don't make me pay for it. Now get out of here, because you don't help... Yes.

Do you want to tell me what it is you think you're doing?

Just give me a few laughs.

In the American Journal of Medicine, it's found that laughter increases the

decrease of catecholamines and endorphins, which in turn increases

of the blood, relaxes the arteries, speeds up the heart, decreases blood

pressure, which has a positive effect on all cardiovascular and respiratory

ailments, as well as overall increasing the immune system response.

Smart clown, eh?

Mr. Adams, when I told you I knew Dr. Pratt, did I mislead you in some way to

think I'm a pushover like he is?

Kindly remove that coat.

I told you you are not to see the patients till the third year.

I'm just visiting friends, sir.

Why are you here?

If you want to be a clown, go join the circus.

Patients don't need to be entertained. They don't need a friend. They need a

doctor.

I don't want to see you in this hospital again.

What if I visit the patients on my own time?

Yes, about your own time.

It's been brought to our attention that perhaps we should be suspicious of the

level of your grades.

What are you saying? I'm cheating?

Your score's among the top in your class, yet you never seem to study.

That's ridiculous.

Your classmates don't seem to think so.

Really? Who?

I'm warning you.

Stay out of this hospital.

You told Walcott I cheated. I know you did it. Just tell me why.

Look, cut the crap, Hunter. I live with you. I know how much you study. Or I

should say don't study.

And you do better than me.

Give me a break.

You arrogant, pompous prick.

Who appointed you custodian of the medical profession?

Is it because your father was a doctor and his father was a doctor? Some sort

genetic thing? You're damn right. Really?

You know, I grew up with it.

I know what it takes to look in the eyes of dying people day after day after day

and to come home for dinner at night. I know what it takes.

You don't have it. Oh, really? And you do.

If you don't like me, just say it.

I don't like you!

Why don't you like me?

You're a prick and I like you.

Because you make my effort a joke.

I want to be a doctor. This isn't a game to me.

This isn't playtime.

This is serious business.

I have it in me to be a great doctor.

But in order to do that, I have to sacrifice if I want to be better.

Better than me.

I will save lives that could have otherwise not been saved. Now, I could

you and go around laughing and have a good time, ha -ha, but I prefer to

because the more I learn, the more likely I'll have the right answer at the

crucial moment and save a life.

You say I'm a prick?

You say I'm a prick?

You know, maybe I am. But you ask the average person when death comes knocking

at their door whether they want a prick on their side or some kindergarten

teacher who's gonna kiss their ass.

Because when that day comes, I want the prick.

And so will you.

You know, I forget how young you are, Mitch.

That you think that you have to be a prick to get things done. And that you

actually think that that's a new idea.

You know what I'll do?

I'll take her to the state medical board.

I mean, there's got to be some sort of constitutional right for visiting the

sick.

Why don't you say anything?

Sorry, Patrick.

I think Walcott has a point.

It's a hospital, and people are suffering and dying.

We're all dying, Truman.

Our job is to increase health.

You know what that means?

That means improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.

Either way, for your own sake, I think you should just lay low for a while.

You'll be all right.

Preview of coming attractions.

Earth.

Death. To die.

To expire.

To pass on. To perish.

To peg out.

To push up daisies. To push up posies. To become extinct.

Curtains. Deceased.

Demised. Departed and defunct. Dead as a doornail.

Dead as a herring. Dead as a mutton. Dead as Nick.

The last breath.

Paying a debt to nature. The big sleep.

God's way of saying, slow down.

To check out.

To shuffle off this mortal coil.

To head for the happy underground.

To blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

To find oneself without breath.

To be the incredible decaying man.

Worm buffet.

Kick the bucket.

Buy the farm.

Take the cab.

Cash in your chips.

And if we bury your ass up, we have a place to park my bike.

Woo! Come on, it's shoot number nine. Right in that four -feet pony. Come on

now, boys. Yeah!

Come on now, roll it out.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's check out the maternity ward. You know those chicks put out.

Here we see that the vitreous body is composed of a transparent jelly with a

mesh of collagen fibers.

Lights, please.

Before we adjourn, Dean Walcott has a brief announcement. Next

Monday, the hospital is hosting a medical seminar slash

retreat in the fellowship of American College of Gynecologists.

It is important that they be received in a manner suitable to their status and

position.

I have traditionally selected an outstanding student to head the

committee. Time demands are great, and I wouldn't want to jeopardize the

academic performance of a weaker student.

This year, I have chosen Hunter Adams.

Thank you. Hunter, there's a detailed list of instructions in my office.

Oh, and, uh, the auditorium could use a good cleaning.

Did you hear him?

In a style according to their stature and position.

I am a great doctor!

Worship me!

Spread before me!

Who dares stand?

You know what I'm thinking?

Maybe we should decorate with a Western motif.

How about that?

Ah, something with Stuart.

And a big banner that says, Howdy, guy in the ruse.

Darn lady to meet you.

How about that? How about you doing it straight?

What do you mean?

I mean straight to graduation.

Well, if anybody has a problem with this, please, just walk away right now.

All right.

Wow.

Yeah.

Okay.

right on time.

Morning, Doctor.

Welcome to camp. Good to see you. How you doing, Doctor?

Gentlemen, I believe that you'll find the facilities here just perfect for

purposes today.

We have everything set up in the auditorium. If you'd just follow me in.

Welcome, cold -handed ones.

It's an honor to greet slash welcome so many.

who have touched so many women in such a powerful way.

Come on in.

Watch out. It's a little slippery. And if you think it's hot out there, whoa

-ho!

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Get him in my office now.

All right, gentlemen, if you just follow me.

You wanted to see me, sir?

You are dismissed, sir, from this school.

Kindly remove your things and vacate the school premises as soon as possible.

What for?

For asking a group of doctors to have a sense of humor about themselves?

Oh, I have a sense of humor, Hunter.

I find it hilarious that as smart as you are, you could give me an airtight

reason to throw you the hell out of here.

Why? Am I such a threat to you, sir? Because what you want is for us to get

there on the same level as our patients.

To destroy objectivity. All to uphold some idealistic buddy system that will

allow you to work through your own feelings of inadequacy.

What you have done here today is inexcusable.

You have made a complete mockery out of our distinguished guests. And if you

think for one minute that I will further tolerate your blatant disregard of the

bylaws of this... What are you smiling at?

Is this all a big joke to you?

Get out of here!

Blatant disregard for school code and procedure.

Defined direct order from a dean.

And I'm aware of your creative efforts to make sure our visiting gynecologists

feel right at home. Now, what is it you'd like me to do for you?

I want to graduate, sir.

Dean Wolcott thinks otherwise.

But my grades are way above par.

I want to finish school so I can become a doctor.

Well, I'm going to give this to you real straight.

I have a hospital and a medical school to run here.

I have to trust the people in my employ, otherwise their quality of life will

turn to shit.

Their life turns to shit, my life turns to shit. Do you follow?

Yes. Good.

Now, Dean Walcott is a pain in the ass, but I depend on him to

keep me up to speed on what's going on around here, and I would never take the

word of any student over his.

However, I also have a source that informs me that your antics...

have improved the quality of life of the patients. They don't complain as much,

they take less medication, and what's -his -name over in 305 has not thrown

bedpan at a nurse in over a week.

Bill. Yeah, whatever.

So, from now on, you will not enter that hospital unless under the supervision

of the attendant as part of the curriculum, and you will steer clear of

Walcott. So I'm still in school?

I wouldn't send the laundry out, but you just don't screw up, huh?

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose or a copad.

For the arrow of carnation, the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved. In secret, between the shadow

and the soul.

and just asked me out. Who said anything about asking you out?

Heard something about you.

That I was in a mental hospital?

Is that true?

Tried to kill myself.

The mental world was the best thing that ever happened to me.

What did the doctors do to help you?

The doctors didn't help me.

The patients helped me.

They helped me realize that by helping them, I could forget about my own

problems.

And I did. I really helped some of them.

It was an incredible feeling, Trent.

There was one patient named Rudy.

I helped him be able to pee.

But for the first time in my life, I forgot about my own problems.

It was an incredible high.

Somebody, you know, could do for me what you did for me tonight after the way

I've treated you.

No one's ever done anything like that for me before.

Good night.

No, this is not a good night.

This is a great night!

You know?

Hi,

I'm John the Baptist. Any calls?

I've been trying to reach you.

Turquoise is a nice color on you.

You don't have to say anything.

I know I look good.

My boys.

My boys are beautiful.

Did you see my boys?

Yeah.

She's not bad either.

You think after you're gone, maybe I couldn't?

Oh, you're killing me here, Batch.

Sing me that stupid song.

Blue skies, smiling...

at me nothing but blue skies do I see

bluebirds singing a song nothing but

bluebirds all day long

blue

days

I am gone.

Not in my blue skies.

Ma 'am, if you fill out the forms, you can see her in a moment.

What's going on here?

Oh, drunk driver. She lost her husband and son. Her daughter's in trauma one,

but it doesn't look good.

Maybe you could explain it to me so I might understand it. It's hospital

procedure. Whatever it is.

It isn't right that a woman has to spend the last moments of her dying child

filling out forms.

Hey, last year I had to have my appendix out.

I forgot my insurance card.

So they sent me home.

My appendix could have burst. They didn't care.

You know, my antibiotic costs a hundred bucks a month.

I paid $250 just to find out I had a sprained ankle. I mean, do they really

to do all those tests?

You know what they need to do? The government needs to pay for health

It's complicated.

Health insurance companies are why prices got so high in the first place.

So what do we do?

Yeah, what the hell is the answer?

Don't hurt your ankle.

You're right.

Corinne. What?

Oh.

Can I borrow this stuff in?

Sure. What do you

see?

Padgett, late.

What do you see?

Parsley.

And a horn.

No, no, no. Look beyond the objects, hmm?

Look through them.

Over here, look.

Kind of let them blur.

Tell me the first thing you see.

Something with a nose. Okay, now imagine that's a building with a nose.

A free hospital.

A free hospital.

Can I go back to bed now?

No, no, because I'm bursting with ideas and I need you to help me.

It'll be the first fun hospital in the world.

It'll be a totally free -form building.

It'll have, like, slides and secret passageways and game rooms. Slow down. I

can't write that fast. I can't slow down.

We'll use humor to heal pain and suffering.

Doctors and patients will work side by side as peers.

There'll be no titles, no bosses.

People will come from all over the world to fulfill their dream of helping other

people.

There'll be a community where joy is a way of life, where learning is the

highest aim, where love is the ultimate goal.

You have all that? Yeah, not verbatim, but the overall insanity's intact.

That's why you have to help me with it.

Patch, no.

Oh, yes. Yes. No. I know it's not going to be an easy road, but you said

anything worth doing is difficult.

Look, um, I'm not like you, Patch.

I want the white coat. I want people to call me doctor more than anything.

I want the recognition.

And you get it every day in the eyes of patients you're helping.

I mean, there is more to life than what Dean Walcott puts out there. That is all

about power and control.

All right?

I mean, I know you're scared. You're right. I am scared. I'm scared to death.

You know, you sit here and you talk about life without limits, you know, and

breaking the rules.

It all sounds very, very romantic.

You want to know what the truth is about all that crap, Pat?

People get hurt.

And who did it to you?

I have to go. No, no, listen to me. Come on.

Whatever it is, come on. You can tell me I can help you. I swear I can. Please,

let me help you.

I'm really starting to love the back of your head.

Get this cleaned out and get him down to the suture room.

You're going to be fine, Larry.

Larry's been in and out of the ER for a couple of years.

Not because he's accident -prone.

No, his father died two years ago. Since then, he's been subject to fits of

depression and self -mutilation.

Head trauma, D5.

Thank you for doing this.

You can thank me by not getting me fired. Just observe rounds and stay

hospital protocol.

Look, Patch, you're a good thing for this hospital.

You remind me of myself when I first started out in the fire wanting to save

world. But you lose a little of that after a while.

The system is what it is. It's not perfect, but it's all we have. Why does

have to be all we have?

Why can't it be changed?

You figure out how, Patch, and I'll be there for you.

Bed six needs blood work.

Mrs. O 'Bannon needs blood work.

Hello, Ed.

You're feeling a little ditty.

Hello, Mrs. O 'Bannon.

May I call you Catherine?

I draw a little blood.

Can you tell how many fingers I'm holding up?

How many do you see?

How many fingers?

How many fingers do you see, Ed?

How much longer do I have to keep my eyes closed?

Just till I open mine.

Keep them closed.

You're almost there.

Hold on to me.

Just a little further.

Just a little further. All right, all right. There you go.

There you are.

It's all right.

You're almost there. I'm afraid.

Don't be afraid.

It's going to be worth it.

All right. Ready?

There you go.

And open your eyes.

Beautiful.

105 acres of all natural forest.

Seven streams.

Two waterfalls.

This is it. The future site of the Gesundheit Institute.

This is yours.

Well, not yet.

But it will be soon.

Come on. There's something else.

Hmm.

What is it?

Our new home.

How did you find him?

Him?

Arthur Mendelsohn.

All this is his. The land, the cottage.

He's letting us borrow it. Until we can purchase it.

Mr. Mendelsohn, I realize that under the terms of your commitment, you retain

control of your assets.

Nevertheless... You learn anything about proctology yet, Patch? A little bit.

Good. Take care of this asshole for me, will you?

Nice meeting you.

Mr. Mendelsohn, uh... There's room for you.

Hi, Bile.

Hey, Patch.

Who's Bile? An old friend. Oh. Without medical insurance.

He's just staying a couple of days.

What do you think?

Think potentially.

There's definitely a lovely couple. We can't go on meeting like this.

You pull that up.

Ma 'am, the party's expired.

You have to have a valid point. This is just the top.

This means Papa only needs medicine.

Tiny medicine.

Gesundheit.

Yeah.

Hi.

How can we help you?

I don't know.

I heard about this place, and I... I thought maybe I would get some...

You know, maybe I'd talk to somebody, because my thoughts... Free.

The board's getting out. We're handling the overflow from three different

clinics now. I've got my pediatric clerkship next week. I don't know how

going to... Bob.

Anybody call for a doctor in here? Let's just try this right now. There, look at

that there. Hey, thank you, Judy and sister, for that lovely medicine.

Yay!

How are you feeling, Frank? You feel better? Yeah.

Really? Well, keep on your medication.

You can never go wrong if you're a Marxist. Hey, Patch.

Yes? This is, um...

I didn't get your name. Larry.

Larry. Hi, Larry. How are you? Good. Nice to meet you.

What are you passionate about, Larry? What excites you?

What turns you on? I like to read.

I love to read. What do you like to read? Who's your favorite author?

Cotton Socket. Cotton Socket. Oh.

World is trouble.

Man needs a little madness or else... Or else he dare not cut the rope and be

free. That's great, Larry.

That's wonderful. We're going to get along just fine.

Truman. Yeah, Pat. What? Can you come over here and show Larry around?

Nice having you here, Larry. Welcome. Thanks. Okay.

I've seen Larry in the ER before.

He's weird.

I'm weird. If we don't show him compassion, who will?

We were born before the wind.

All flowed younger than the sun.

Everyone

asleep?

Yeah. Well, there ain't me.

Yeah.

God,

Patch, it's amazing.

What?

Just what you've done with this place, you know?

You too?

Yeah.

These people that were helping, they would have had nowhere to go.

You're a good man.

Well, are we?

Is it me? I mean, are we

just... Are we good friends that occasionally kiss?

Patch... My entire life, men have been...

attracted to me.

My entire life.

When I was a little girl, I would look out my bedroom window at the

caterpillars.

I envied them so much.

No matter what they were before, no matter what happened to them, they could

just hide away, you know, and turn into these beautiful creatures that could fly

away completely untouched.

I hated men so much.

I wanted nothing to do with them.

When I met you...

The way that you help

people, Patch...

The changes I see in everybody that's around you.

I love you.

I've loved you for so long.

You scared me.

I was watching you sleep.

A real knack.

Impressive.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straight.

Um, sorry.

We have a situation out here that needs attention.

I've been trying to warn you guys about this for weeks, and now we have

absolutely zero supplies.

There's an older gentleman over there named Charlie. He has a sprained

I don't have any slings or swaths to treat him. I have to wrap his arm in his

own belt.

We have no iodine. We don't even have any gauze, for God's sakes.

There's an entire supply room at the hospital.

That couldn't possibly be because those supplies belong to the hospital.

No, it's too obvious.

Come on.

I need your feet.

And I want your body.

Bye.

Behave. Hurry, please. You're crushing me. Quiet, you're a corpse.

Ow!

Damn it.

Watch it.

Jeez, shut up!

Yeah, uh, Larry, uh, I was wondering if somebody could come over. Uh,

well, I'm not doing too well.

Uh,

I was, I was, it would help if I could talk to somebody.

Larry Larry

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

I didn't know you could play. You sound wonderful.

Thank you.

This house is amazing. Is it yours?

It's my father's. He left it to me.

Here, let me take your jacket.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Uh, come in.

Come in.

I really can't stay very long. I just wanted to see how you were doing.

Yeah, you're right.

And we don't want to be late.

I just got a telephone call.

Dean Anderson wants to see you in his office immediately.

I don't know. I'll have to find out about our borrowed supplies.

We're dead.

You have little faith.

Dean

Anderson,

I know what this is all about.

And I assure you, sir, I will tell him.

Something happened last night.

Corinne Fisher was murdered.

She was with Larwood Silver.

The shotgun involved, and he turned the gun on himself.

Jesus Christ, Patch, I'm sorry. I know she was a friend.

If there's anything I can do...

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Corinne.

Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting

peace, and into the glorious company of the saints on high.

Amen.

Told you I'd finish it some other time.

I love you without knowing

how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride.

I love you because I know no other way than this.

So close that your hand on my chest is my hand.

So close that when you close your eyes, you fall asleep.

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

Gant is banned. You know that, right?

What about our patients? What do we tell them?

They'll manage.

They've managed before.

I refuse to quit.

Good. God, you're being so self -indulgent.

This has been your vision, but we all built this place, and it belongs to all

us.

Corinne will always remain within these walls. If you just walk away from that,

if you let that all die...

I've dedicated every spare moment I have to assisting you in what I believe is a

pure and a good purpose.

Quitting is not going to help you get through this.

You've always told I... Stop it!

I've always told you what?

People are good. Trust people?

Ha!

You know, Truman, in all of God's creations, only human beings kill their

species.

That's a fun fact for your final exam.

Rin's death cannot make... Helping people wrong.

You saw it coming.

She knew there was something dangerous about Larry.

I didn't see it.

Pat, why are you being like this?

Because I killed her, Truman.

I told her the medicine that killed her.

She'd still be here if I hadn't met her.

You can't leave.

What you say is true.

Looks like I'm defying the laws of possibility.

What are you doing?

Oh, I can't leave until you beat me, is that it?

Okay, I surrender.

You're number one. You're the top student in the class.

You're smarter than me.

Is that what you want to hear?

Now can I leave?

You know Mrs. Kennedy in 212.

She doesn't eat.

I visited her room every day for the last three weeks.

I can't get her to eat.

I know everything there is to know about medicine. I've studied relentlessly.

I guarantee you I cannot do out -diagnose any attending hand surgeon in

hospital.

You have a gift.

You have a way with people.

You know, they like you.

And if you leave, I can't learn this way.

So what now, huh?

What do you want from me?

Yeah, I could do it.

We both know you wouldn't stop me.

So answer me, please.

Tell me what you're doing.

Okay, let's look at the logic.

You create man.

Man suffers enormous amounts of pain.

Man dies.

Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to

creation.

You rested on the seventh day.

Maybe you should have spent that day on compassion.

You know what?

You're not worth it.

Do you still want help with Mrs. Kennedy?

I'm supposed to give you this.

You turn around and walk right out of here this very instant. Why?

Everything will be delineated in your letter of dismissal. Why?

You don't fit in.

There are standards and codes.

You make the patients and everyone else around you uncomfortable.

I make you uncomfortable.

Well, you can make this into a personal issue if you'd like, but the reality is

you are not put out to be a physician, and it is my responsibility...

Responsibility?

You have one responsibility, to be a dickhead.

How hard can that be?

All you have to do is make sure your head is a dick and it's attached to your

neck. You leave immediately.

I want to see my records.

They're confidential.

Only the steps...

Go in there and take your own file.

Your marks are basically perfect.

You've got to be near the top of the class.

Excessive happiness.

Actually says you're excessively happy?

Mm -hmm. What does that mean?

Isn't that good?

I've got to fight this.

What can we do?

Dean Walcott seems thoroughly committed to your not ever becoming a doctor.

Even Dean Anderson signed this.

You need my help.

I prefer to think I'm using you.

If you have one shot, you'd have to appeal to the state medical board.

How does that work?

You claim that a prejudice and injustice has occurred.

They'll be worried about a suit. They'll have to investigate.

Then what?

They'll review your grades, which is good.

You're almost top of the class, but mostly your behavior.

Do you have any idea what Wolcott has on you?

How'd you get these?

Don't ask.

They can't prevent me from graduating because of a personality clash, can

Look, Hunter, this is a medical institution you're dealing with. You

draw their own law.

You'll just have to get their focus on your high marks and off of this.

I'm screwed, aren't I?

You're almost a doctor.

There are a panel of doctors.

Just think of them as your peers.

Let me turn these.

Get a suit.

Hunter Adams

You've been accused of practicing medicine without a license.

It's a very grave charge, son.

Are you aware that it's unlawful to practice medicine without a medical

Yes, sir, I am.

Are you aware that running a medical clinic without the proper licensing can

place both you and the public in a great deal of danger?

Is a home a clinic, sir?

If you are admitting patients and treating them, physical location is

irrelevant. Yes, sir.

Will you define treatment for me?

Yes, treatment would be defined as the care of a patient seeking medical

attention.

Have you been treating patients, Mr. Adams?

Sir, I live with several people. They come and go as they please. I offer them

whatever help I can.

Mr. Adams, have you or have you not been treating patients at your ranch?

Everyone who comes to the ranch is a patient, yes.

And every person who comes to the ranch is also a doctor.

I'm sorry.

Every person who comes to the ranch is in need of some form of physical or

mental help.

They're patients.

But also every person who comes to the ranch is in charge of taking care of

someone else.

Whether it's cooking for them, cleaning them, or even a simple task as

listening.

That makes them doctors.

I use that term broadly, gentlemen, but is not a doctor someone who helps

someone else?

When did the term doctor get treated with such reverence as, oh, right this

Dr. Smith, or excuse me, Dr. Scholz, what wonderful foot pads, or pardon me,

Patterson, but your flatulence has no odor.

At what point in history did a doctor become more than a trusted and learned

friend who visited and treated the ill?

Now, you ask me if I've been practicing medicine.

Well, if this means opening your door to those in need, those in pain, caring

for them, listening to them, applying a cold cloth until a fever breaks, if this

is practicing medicine, if this is treating a patient, then I am guilty as

charged, sir.

Did you consider the ramifications of your actions?

What if one of your patients had died?

What's wrong with death, sir?

What are we so mortally afraid of?

Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity and

decency and, God forbid, maybe even humor?

Death is not the enemy, gentlemen.

If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases

of all, indifference.

Now I've sat in your schools and heard people lecture on transference and

professional distance.

Transference is inevitable, sir.

Every human being has an impact on another.

Why don't we want that in a patient -doctor relationship?

That's why I've listened to your teachings and I believe they're wrong.

A doctor's mission should be not just to prevent death, but also to improve the

quality of life. That's why you treat a disease, you win, you lose.

You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win no matter what the outcome.

Now here today, this room is full of medical students.

Don't let them anesthetize you. Don't let them numb you out to the miracle of

life. Always live in awe of the glorious mechanism of the human body. Let that

be the focus of your studies and not a quest for grades, which will give you no

idea what kind of doctor you will become. Mr. Adams, please turn and

board. And don't wait until you're on the ward to get your humanity back.

Start your interviewing skills now. Start talking to strangers. Talk to your

friends. Talk to wrong numbers. Talk to everyone.

Mr. Adams.

And cultivate friendships with those amazing people standing in the back of

room. Nurses that can teach you.

They've been with people every day. They wade through blood and shit. They have

a wealth of knowledge to share with you, and so do the professors you respect,

the ones who are not dead from the heart up.

Share their compassion.

Let that be contagious. Mr. Adams, I demand that you turn and address the

Sir, I want to be a doctor with all my heart.

I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others.

And because of that, I've lost everything.

But I've also gained everything.

I've shared the lives of patients and staff members at the hospital.

I've laughed with them. I've cried with them.

This is what I want to do with my life.

And as God is my witness, no matter what your decision today, sir, I will still

become the best... damn doctor the world has ever seen.

Now, you have the ability to prevent me from graduating.

You can keep me from getting the title and the white coat.

But you can't control my spirit, gentlemen. You can't keep me from

can't keep me from studying.

So you have a choice. You could have me as a professional colleague, passionate,

or you can have me as an outspoken outsider, still adamant. Either way,

probably still be viewed as a thorn.

But I promise you one thing.

I am a thorn that will not go away.

Is that all?

I hope not, sir.

We will adjourn briefly.

Thank you.

Hunter Adams.

We find your methods less than appealing.

Your appearance and your demeanor do not reflect what we believe is necessary to

earn a patient's trust and respect.

You openly accuse us of adhering to time -honored practices that for years have

been the backbone of the entire medical institution.

However, we find no fault in your attempts to improve the quality of life

you.

We find no fault in your desire to expand upon existing medical practices

theories.

We applaud your love of the patient.

Your grades are among the highest in your class, and therefore we find no

in the decision to block your graduation from medical school.

Along with your crass and disdainful behavior, you carry with you a flame

which one could only hope would spread through the medical profession like a

brush fire.

And, uh, Dean Walcott, in the future, I think matters like this could best be

solved if you yourself would practice a little excessive happiness.

Well, today you go from being students in a class to being members of a class,

very select class.

You face the future with your heads held high because you are now doctors.

Dr. Michael Ames.

Dr. Doris Ackerman Dr.

Hunter patch Adam

Well,

I'm happy to see you finally decided to perform more than you know

It's been a long road getting from there to here.

It's been a long time, but my time is finally

near. And I can feel the change in the wind.

Because I...

then through the

His panel!