Original subtitles

Now you make love to Helmut. Good. Here we go. You ready? Yeah. Make love to the

camera.

Good. And now you drip the juice on the bosoms. Good. And you rub back. Not too

hard. You're rubbing them a little too hard for Helmut. Because I'm looking

beautiful, but you are looking... Good. Okay. Now we're going to drip a little

bit of this on the belly button.

I like this. Yeah. The wet look. Good. Now make love to Helmut.

Yeah, and good, no, no, stop turning, because the lighting that we have to

to capture that took it, and make the artwork, now, and you are turning over,

and you are killing my audience, and help me to try to make love to all of

and you are just, oh, that's a nice serve, yeah, that's good, yeah, good,

now I fire away with the camera, and you make love to me, and who's responsible

for the tan line titties? Who sent you person?

I want the name of the agency, Lupe!

Yeah, you're going good. More for me, please.

Oh, yes, look. And you are bouncing across the top of the glistening water,

making love to Helmut. And you are falling down. And you are jumping

up. And you are like a sea otter on the

sea beat of life, coming toward Helmut.

Oh, you are gorgeous. Oh, you are a petite little flower.

And you are sexy.

Oh, and I look good today myself as well. Oh, yes, and you come closer.

And then you are falling down. That's good. Oh, now you crawl.

Good. Crawl to Helmut.

Crawl onto your knees to Helmut. Oh, yes, you are so sexy. Oh, good. You look

beautiful today. You know that. You do.

You are gorgeous.

Next girl, please.

Yes, hello?

Ah, Monsieur Grande.

Why, yes.

I'll be right there. Thank you.

Ah, the little children.

Such perfection in nature.

Such beauty, such little virgins.

Eroticism.

Ah, Barry.

I leave for Paris at dawn for two months.

I'm most concerned about my little children.

Barry. I think that my orchid and my little children, they are stressed. Look

them. They lack something.

I don't know what.

I think, Barry, that perhaps you will sing to them every

single day.

I think you will sing that caveat. Perhaps I should fling them off the

I beg your pardon? I said, how about if I sing them Toscanini?

Yes, yes, whatever you want. Ah, my darling, I will miss you like a flower

misses the sun. Like a french fry misses its poupon.

Like a frog misses his legs.

Barry, we leave at dawn.

Dawn?

At dawn.

Oh, dawn!

Les orchidées, Barry. Remember les orchidées.

Yes. Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Sure.

Au revoir, mes amis.

I shall return.

Not for two months. Half a day.

Got the roll, got the gold, and got the... All

right,

back, back. Yeah.

Roll through.

No wonder why they get $100 ,000.

Nice dress.

Make that move. Make that move.

Woo! How you guys doing?

Breakfast on the beach. Whoa.

Like the wheel? Like the wheel?

Like the wheel?

How could you not like the wheel?

Hey, guys.

Hey, girls. Want a little spin with the Barrymeister?

Little spin?

Hey.

Why walk when you could cruise with me?

Huh?

Yeah, operator.

I made a call, and I think I need a phone credit. I was dialing 1 -900

and I got 1 -900 -TITS.

Yeah, I want NIPS, not TITS.

Okay, fine. Redial? Get the credit? Good.

I told you I'd get the credit.

What is it?

The one and only, home for the holidays.

Holidays? What?

What holidays?

I just sent you away to school.

What the hell are you doing home?

So, where's the bus man, Mr.

the Baron?

None of your business.

What are you doing home?

Sit down, Pops, because I don't think you're going to like this at all.

Better make that a double.

Remember that job I applied for working with models at Eurotrash Productions?

Just imagine me with all those models.

Let me get this straight, knucklehead.

You quit college, and you got a paying job, so you could be around broads.

Yeah, except in the business, we call them models, not broads.

You're making some money. Yeah.

There gonna be beautiful girls running all around here?

I hope so.

You're paying me some rent.

Wait a minute, you're going to charge your own son rent?

No.

Yeah, I think I could live with that.

That's good. Hey, I got to go, Dad. I'll see you later.

Oh, look, do me a favor, Junior.

Why don't you bring me back some of those fancy magazines? You know, Cosmo,

Vogue. Oh, and the swimsuit history of Monster Truck Magazine?

Yeah, that one, too. So I could let my fingers do the walking, if you know what

I mean.

You got it, Dad.

Huh.

My J .R. in Howdy Couture.

Man, whoever would have dunked it.

Fun fact is, because I think I saw a temple somewhere.

Yeah, and there's a temple.

Don't turn for me, please. Good.

Oh, very nice.

Yeah, good.

Now!

You too, cabin boy. Good. We go here, you know you really are.

Junior.

Hey, boss.

You see what I see?

Yeah.

The hottest girls I've ever seen.

No. Arizona iced tea. Do you see this?

So take her back to the camper.

Now? No, tomorrow.

Now. Okay.

Okay.

Loopy.

Loopy.

Loopy, I am your boss, and you never listen to me.

Now, please, read to me the 200 -millimeter lens you are holding,

glass with your fingers, you Mediterranean cabin boy!

Mi amor, Loopy, I am your boss.

Always with the Mediterranean cabin boy.

This is look like a boy to you.

Helmet! Yeah?

We have 89 more setups to do today. Yeah, 89 is good. Yeah, number I like.

I'm moving, babe! I'm moving now!

Good, yeah. Hop! Yeah?

I'll be an Oscar -winning film director someday.

An Oscar -winning film director?

Wow.

Have you written your acceptance speech yet?

Well, I... I take an acting lesson, and the first thing we did was write our

acceptance speech for best actors and best supporting actors, depending on our

areas.

You know, it's funny you say that, because I'm casting for a film right

Really? You would be, like, perfect for it. I mean, you were born to play this

part, and you could.

I mean, I have to pull a bunch of nudity and, you know, purely contribute to

sex, but...

You're a professional, Tom. I'm sure you're cool with that, right?

No.

Problem is... Junior!

Get your ass over here with some coffee, now!

She's thinking of some kind of gopher or something.

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, look at that. What do we got?

A quarter.

Catch it.

Good. You want a tip?

Start your college fund with that.

Ladies, bonjour.

What are we doing?

Little drinks here out in South Beach?

Very, very nice.

Need someone to pay your bills? What about buy you expensive jewelry? You

that, don't you?

What about licking between your toes?

Hmm? You would like that. I know you would. You're also beautiful.

And that over there?

That's my late model black rolls I know you saw me drive up in because I saw you

checking me out.

It's very late.

Witty. Very witty.

Hey, look.

I got frequent flyer morals on my Sears card.

Why don't we go use that and make a little oochie -coochie? Come on, girl.

you come on?

Yeah, hello.

Life swapper?

I want to talk to you about renting abroad.

So, how much for one in her, uh, twenties?

I want one with, uh, big silicon lips and, uh, big silicon nips. Yeah.

A tight ass, for sure.

Perfect.

Ten thousand?

Are you nuts?

No broad's worth ten grand. Give me a break.

Forget it. You guys are crazy.

Get your ass over here with some coffee, now!

You insect!

I will kill you!

I will disengorge your organs, crush your vertebrae, and slice you like a

And do you know why?

You're fired!

No, you can't fire me. No, you're fired!

Hey, Dad.

Junior, what are you doing? I thought you were working. Where are the babes?

Yeah, well, they sent me out to scout new talent, you know.

You got fired, didn't you?

Yeah, but it wasn't my fault.

Never is. Look, sit down.

Man, you should have seen me with all those models.

In a week, I could have been a fashion photographer, and in a month, I could

have been a film director.

Yeah, and next year, President of the United States.

What would happen if you were teamed up with somebody who knew something about

business? Like Donald Trump?

Yeah, or Ivan Boski.

Wait a minute, are you trying to say that you and me... Could get together in

business and maybe open our own modeling agency?

That's the worst idea I've ever heard.

Exactly. It's so bad, it just might work.

You're right. Yes.

Darling, you're going to love them. They're all fresh faces just from

Yes, we have Britt from England. We have Babs from Texas.

Germany, yes, of course we have some poop poop.

Yes, we just came off the covers of Vogue.

Hey, I want a car to take me to the airport at 6 to pick up the new girls.

Oh God, I don't care about your poop poop. Just go get me a car to pick up

girls.

Hey, Dad, there's a Swedish woman they were talking about. Let's get her first.

There's the hacker.

How did they say she was?

Was she a ref? Black and white. Good.

Very nice.

Wow. Von, uh -huh.

She's the one.

Hi. We're here from the agency to pick you up.

Uh -huh. This is nice. Here, let me get your bag.

Wow. Hey, what's your name, Sugar Lips? Uh, my name?

Uh, oh, my name.

My name is Zinga.

Zinga? I'm from Sweden.

Now, that'll never work if you want to work in this town.

From now on, your name is Zinga.

Zinga? Zinga. Now, that's a classy name.

Yeah. Oh.

Come on, get in. Okay. Zinga.

Zing yourself in this car there. Wow, this is nice.

Yes, it is. Almost as nice as you.

So, I bet you like Aquavit, huh?

Yeah. Wait, real models don't drink.

Oh, yeah. I think all the time you drink.

Okay, Dad, the next one we have to get is the... Oh, the German one.

What's one of those airlines?

Oh, my God.

Hold on, cutie.

And maybe you and I can go and have some bratwurst sometime.

Who is that swine?

I'm going to report him to the agency.

Really? I am the agency.

Man, she's got legs that go all the way to the outs.

I don't care what your name is, Fraulein. From now on, your name is

Come on.

Let's go there.

Hi, we're from the agency.

Let me see if your name's on the list. Of course it's on the list. It's Britt.

Britt. I'm on the list.

Okay, here you are. Thank you.

Right on in. Oh, no room.

I got it.

Right there.

Sorry.

Right on in here, Britt.

Right on in.

Yeah. Why do I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place?

Well, I don't know about the rock, but I could definitely tell you about the...

Dad, haven't you heard about sexual harassment in the workplace?

Heard about it?

I invented it. Oh, God.

Can

you

tell me where we are?

Yes, she is.

Hi, excuse me. Can you all tell me, is this Miami or Chicago?

This is Miami.

We're from the agency.

Hi. Hi, how you doing?

Do you have a name?

Babs.

Babs? Hmm.

Why don't we make that booze? Cool it, Dad.

No, Dad. Let me get that for you. That's a sign. That will do.

I want you and your friends to hop on in. Hi, y 'all. Hi.

Give it a rest.

Okay.

Settle in.

Hi. We're off to see the wizard.

Well, here we are.

At the mansion.

Home, sweet home. Home, sweet home.

Hey! Senor Barry!

You're going to take care of me, eh?

If not, they're going to steal the V1.

Girl, this is a B &B model, corporate yacht.

Pretty hot.

This is the pool heated in the winter and cold in the summer.

Girls, these are the tennis courts. Feel free to use them at any time.

Nice shot, Dad.

Girls, this is the hot tub.

Try to avoid going in there during feeding time.

Trust me on that.

Hey, Dad, live at large, huh?

Girls, this is it.

This is your new home.

I love it.

It's huge, isn't it?

Get up, you idiot.

Girl, this is my living room.

And it's your bedroom.

So where do we sleep?

Pick a couch.

Any couch will do.

I want you to consider me your long -lost uncle.

I want you all to know that you can count on me, that there will always be

open bedroom door to my room.

And now the house rules are really basically simple.

First, try to respect each other's food, makeup, clothes, and privacy.

But secondly, and most importantly of all...

No guys, ever, never, never, ever, under any circumstances, without exception,

instant firing will follow. Don't even think about it.

What about bedroom checks?

I think we should have bedroom checks.

Absolutely. Don't you think? Dad,

I know the girls are sexy, but this is supposed to be a business.

Hey, look, I'm the businessman here, right?

In this business, we have an expression.

It's called mixing business with pleasure.

Thank you.

Hey, that's my bed.

Honey, I deserve the biggest and the best.

And the biggest is always the best in men and in beds.

Get yourself.

All right, you watch out, bitch, because I am going to be more famous than you.

And how are you going to do that?

Sleeping with the right man, of course.

Sleeping with the right... I'm going to reach the top of the world by sleeping

only with the man I intend to marry.

Intend to marry?

Well, are you crazy?

What if he has other plans? You know, like loving you and then leaving you.

No. Not my man.

Believe me, I can spot them.

Do you love him?

I love him very, very much.

Then I think you ought to marry him and have babies right away.

What? Did I say something wrong?

What do you do with all of this? I use them.

You see, I'm going to be an actress.

Modelling is only a step towards a silver screen for me.

What does modeling have to do with acting?

Directors sleep with models, and until you go out with a director and sleep

him, you'll never be an actress.

So what are you doing here?

Some guy stopped me on the street in Zurich and offered me a ticket here.

He never asked if I'd modeled before.

So have you?

No.

No?

No. You've never modeled before?

No.

That's all right. We'll teach you.

Oh, girls.

Singer, bring the shaving thing. Babs, bring your brassieres and bring stuffing

lots and lots of stuffing.

It's all right. We'll teach you.

Well, first, when you go get a job, it's called see -go.

Go see.

And you have to dress up like a model.

You mean in high heels and a tight dress? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

that stuff.

Trendy funky clothes, hoppy, pop -wrapped.

Yeah, yeah. And then when you see someone, you know, like a makeup artist

photographer, even if you don't remember their names, they breathe all over you

and you've got really stinky breath. You've got to go up to them and you go,

it's so good to see you. Oh, wow.

Oh, God, honey, don't forget to tell them they'll look fabulous. Oh, yeah,

look great. Even if you don't remember their names.

But what do I do if I get a job?

Ah, that's the easy part.

You just act like a model.

And when you get a fashion show, it's called runway.

Okay? Now line up, line up.

And this is what you do. Ready? Boobs out, butt in.

Put your head up and cop a big attitude like Iman.

Ready? And drop, drop, drop, drop, and turn.

Okay.

Drop, drop, drop, drop, and turn.

Okay, now you try. Go ahead.

Go. Drop, drop, drop, drop, and turn.

Yes.

Now, how's that for new talent?

Check it! Ow!

Louie, baby!

I feel a love thing coming on.

They're walking right past us and didn't even say hello, huh? Hey!

Hey! I love you!

And you! And you!

Oh, my God, I think I'm gonna faint.

Miami Beach is so small on here.

Oh, but that's because it's a map. It's much bigger in real life.

hey guys look there's barry come on oh this is disgusting how

are you good to see you welcome to yes that's right barry and barry

buns and boobs i love this business

Okay, everybody line up.

Zinga.

Eyebrows. I want those eyebrows plucked into a thin line.

Otherwise, you're looking really good.

And you, Britt.

You have great skin tone.

But don't hide it under all that blush.

Just a little bit.

Legs. Legs.

Don't show so much leg on goatees. Make them ask to see those.

No. Make them bags. See those?

Whoa, is that real?

But of course it is.

That watch is worth at least $5 ,000.

So? You know, if they think you're rich, you won't work.

Yeah, I'll take that.

But that, that I got.

Where? Take it off later.

Yeah, later.

Good. Very good.

No, sorry.

Ladies, you are on the hottest... I should see the planet right in the

epicenter. I mean, Claudia, Paulina, Naomi, they're all here.

So how much money did you get?

Yeah, okay, let's talk about that.

See, this is how it works.

First, we vary up by the day.

Unlimited mileage and unlimited cleavage. Mm -hmm.

Now, there's 20 % that we take out for deductible. There's 18 % for wear and

tear. Then, of course, there's 45 % to maintain this lavish palace.

Then, of course, there's state and local taxes.

There is tag, tag, and title.

Prices subject to change.

Void where prohibited by law. Excuse me, any questions?

Uh, good. I didn't think so. Barry Jr.? Thank you, Barry Sr.

The bad news is, girls, you're all going to need new portfolios if you want to

work in this town. The good news is, I'm going to shoot all your new pictures.

Yes, but there will be a small charge.

How small?

$500 per girl.

You've got to be shitting me.

Babs. High fashion models do not use the term shitting me.

I don't even have to finish.

Don't worry, girls, don't worry. We'll work with you, okay?

Listen, you just pay us what you can for now, and we'll take the rest out of

your residuals. Yeah, along with the rent for the mansion.

Rent? But don't worry. $500 an hour, you girls will be making that much money in

no time at all. All right.

Okay, now, everybody, let's go shoot your new picture.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's looking good. Okay, take yourself a little bit.

There you go.

Oh,

it's great.

It's fantastic.

Give me a twin tower. Come on, give me some real estate.

Don't worry, it'll fit in your thing.

Oh, yeah. All right, come in, baby. Lean in with me.

I look fabulous.

I love it. Stand up on your head. I like it like that.

Come up on your head.

What do you think? I like it like that. Come up on your head. Poo -poo.

It looks like electric shock therapy.

Try dreadlocks.

Go on. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. No, it's a big head. That's what it is.

Look. Look, look, look.

Lupe. You look like the boy on the TV.

Look, Patty.

You know, I think maybe we do the talk.

Lupe, you.

No, talk, talk.

Okie dokie. No, talk, talk. I got it. I got it. Let me see that.

I can't believe it.

Hmm.

This is good.

We're in business.

Here are your new ghostly lists, girls. Sorry if we can't reach one of you.

And here are your new portfolios.

And you will notice that I'm using an avant -garde nouveau art deco style,

Helmut Newton and I are at the cutting edge of this new look. I think you'll

really like them.

Yes. And as the cop on TV says, girls, go out there and get them before they

you.

Helmut, don't you think this is a little too much? No, no, no, touch it. I like

it. One go left, one go right.

Hello?

Who is this person?

Yeah, I'm wondering what this is myself.

Is this for models, yeah?

No, it's a dog show, stupid.

And she has a sense of humor on top of it all. It's the sunlight that... Oh, my

God!

I hope the dogs can swim then.

Now, where's the clevelander?

I bought it. I like a new look.

I think we might be able to vote with this. No, that's low.

Good, yeah. No, out. No, in. No, out. Yeah, good.

No, in. No. Yeah, good.

Good. Oh.

Legs. What?

Sorry, Bob.

It's okay.

Sorry. It's okay.

Don't worry.

I'll teach you a couple things about rollerblading.

Okay, like this.

It's all in the waist. It's all in the waist, honey.

Okay, push it out. Okay, go ahead.

You're doing great.

You're doing great.

Oh, wait.

Legs, watch out.

Legs, are you okay?

Whoa. Yeah,

you are great.

You know, the problem is that your pair doesn't have any bounce.

Yeah, but not like the new ones do. You know, we gotta get you a new pair.

You Americans always want to replace everything, even breath.

Hey, I wasn't talking about your tits.

Tits?

You know, hooters.

Hooters?

Melons, cutongas, jobs, knot cones, knobs.

Your breath. How about breath? I wasn't talking about your, you know, breath.

Would you like to?

Well, you know...

You know, I gotta go to work. I'll see you later, though.

Okay, later we'll talk about my breath.

You'll see. Dogs really love that food.

It's dog food!

Eat the dog food!

You can't do that.

This is a fish island.

It looks to me like a fish island.

I wanted a fish island.

I would ask for one. No?

No. Yeah.

Sea. No.

Yeah. What is a fish island?

No.

Where's the talent?

It's a helmet. Where is the talent? It's a helmet.

Take this brush off, please. Show us your bosoms. Beautiful.

Yeah. I know you.

No, you don't.

Probably wish you did.

I'd remember that body anywhere.

You and your friends have started working today.

That's right.

How did you know that?

That's on the script.

Oh. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, good, yeah. This is it, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's it. Ooh.

Ooh. I really do look good today, yeah? Okay, yeah?

Just one more.

Mm. Next girl.

Next girl, please.

Yeah. Don't worry. I'll see you again.

Yeah. Beautiful.

And Loopy.

Out. Let Unhelmet do his art.

Yeah, good.

Beautiful. Look beautiful.

Yeah. Oh, sexy.

Good. Yeah. Good.

Work it, Julia.

I can't believe it.

That stupid little dog tried to bite me.

It wasn't my fault.

Hi. I found this wonderful little job.

What? Sure. You know, I couldn't find any of the places.

Hi, everybody.

I just signed for a holiday commercial.

Julia told me how to do this.

I guess that means you didn't get the job.

Heather. I told you I'd see you again.

Are you following me?

Can I see your book?

Who's got these things? Ray Charles?

They're avant -garde.

No? Junior says they look like Helmut Newton.

Helmut Newton?

No, no.

Fig Newton.

Yes.

Don't laugh at my book!

I have never been so incredibly insulted. It was

so rude.

Just wait, okay? No.

Y 'all made fun of our book.

We can make it up to you, okay? I lived with these three other guys, and they

were wondering if you girls would have us over for dinner tonight.

Yeah, you girls can cook the food, serve it to us, and clean up while we drink

beer and play volleyball. How about it?

What about the other two guys?

Are they good -looking, too?

Shoot, I say we're good -looking.

Okay.

What do y 'all want to eat? Maybe a little sushi and some sashimi.

And maybe a little Dom Perignon to wash it down.

Yeah, and then we could have some oysters on the half shell. Maybe a

bottle of Chardonnay, some smoked salmon in there.

And then we'll get on to the main course.

Yeah, filet mignon is great this time of year with some artichokes, asparagus.

Yeah, and then we can have a couple chocolate soufflés and creme brûlées

we get on to the vintage ports and cognacs, of course.

Ooh, all right.

Okay. All right. Great.

Well, we'll see you girls tonight then.

All right. All right.

All right.

Bye.

Forget about it. You can get them beer and hot dogs. In the meantime, we've got

some important business to discuss with our agency.

We can't work with these pictures. That makes me look like a dumb blonde.

Me too.

Me too. Me too. I want my old pictures back. And I want my money back.

I like mine. I think Junior makes me look cute, like a Hollywood movie, and I

like that.

Look, let me call you back.

Girls, listen.

J .R.

He's like that one -eared Goomba guy, Van Gogh. Do you remember his painting,

The Scream?

Ah, the power of that image. Unbelievable!

He is an artiste!

Now, don't question me or him. Go!

Out of here, please!

I think you're right.

I know I'm right.

Thank you, Legs.

Dad, I just passed the girls in the hall. They really look pissed.

What do you do to them now?

Look, they hate their books, and you didn't get them any work today, J .R.

Because nobody has any vision, any taste, any appreciation of art. Art like

what? Like this bike. This bike is made of Russian titanium, plutonium, uranium,

the best money can buy.

Yeah, you mean the best bike the girls' money can buy, J .R.

Corporate travel. It's a legitimate business expense.

Is that right?

Yeah. Well, speaking of expenses, I'm doing some traveling myself, kid. Hey,

where are you going?

Look, I'm out of here.

I can't bone these girls. I ain't making any money. What the hell am I doing

here, huh?

Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? You haven't even heard the master plan

yet. The master plan? I'll give you the master plan.

I'm going to rent some dirty movies, and then I'm going home to hook up my blow

-up doll to the vacuum. That's the master plan.

Okay. I guess you don't want to make some major buccanagas with me. Major

buccanagas? What do you mean?

Come here.

Send that girl out.

You could do that?

Hey. Am I Barry Jr.

or what? I don't know, but if you pull that off, that'll be unbelievable. I'll

issue you some major stock warrants, some convertible dentures, and until we

public, you'll remain the schmuck, okay?

Sure, Dad.

Perfect.

Swedish, right?

How did you know?

Like you, I guess.

Better if you play with two.

Wow, where'd you learn how to play like that?

UK.

United Kingdom.

Is that in Ohio?

England. Oh, England.

Right. Where'd you learn how to play?

UVA. You know, University of Virginia.

UV.

Uh, I don't know what the H was.

So, you do a lot of sporting commercials, right?

Obviously, you didn't notice my ass.

Gene commercials.

So, why do you preppies wear those wire and glasses anyway?

Are you talking to me?

Yes, I am preppy. Catch.

Hey, just because I'm a preppy from Boston doesn't make me a bad guy.

Really? Well, I bet you wear those preppy underwear, you know?

It kind of gets all, uh...

One step between the cheeks when you stand up.

Want to see my robot?

Wow.

These are some great shots.

Can I tell you something?

You look a lot better in person.

You're not just telling me that because you want to get me in bed, are you?

Actually, yes, I am. Did I tell you I was studying to be a veterinarian?

Really? Yeah. I love animals.

I almost married one last year. Really? Me too.

Obviously, you can't get it in, huh? Let's play strip poker.

There you go. Wait, wait, wait.

I think I hear Junior's car.

We'd better get inside.

What? Did yours turn into vampires at sunset or something?

Junior says that if we show up tired for casting, they call us ragged.

But hey, come on.

We don't have to even work tomorrow, so let's party.

Hey, Junior, come on. Let's party. Come on, Junior. Come on. I'd like to, but

sorry, guys. I'll manage of it now.

And these girls have got to get their beauties, but they have a lot of work

tomorrow. How do we get a lot of work?

Well, just trust me, okay? I'll give you your girls your goatees in the morning,

but you've got to go to bed.

I feel like I live in a monastery.

Come on, girls.

What are we going to play? How many cards is your poker?

I don't know.

Good deal.

All right.

I told you, Chantal is booked to do the Eau de Monde perfume commercial at the

Majestic at 10. Right.

Yes, Christy is also booked at 10. Yes, she is doing the Lamborghini shoot.

Right. 12th Street Beach. Yes, 12th Street Beach.

Yes. Paulina is booked to do the Harley Davidson commercial.

Yes, it's a national. I told you that yesterday. Yes, she's wearing some sort

thong. I don't know. They may change it.

All right, Fab, here it is. Okay, you're going here for the Eau de Monde perfume

commercial. All right.

Oh, Fab,

your book's under the name of Chantel.

Hi. Hi.

Knock him dead, Dave. You'll get him.

All right, girl.

You wait here.

Barry will be right back.

Okay?

So, girl, it must feel great to know that you're on your way to becoming a

-famous model.

Stay with me, models.

We'll take you far.

Okay, legs. Your book here is Christy.

Don't even ask why. Just get in there and use your legs.

You're late, Christy. Come on. Makeup's waiting for you.

Yes!

Christy? Yes?

Sorry, babe. You were late, Ann. They canceled you.

What?

Nobody cancels me.

Wrong. You've been dumped. Too bad.

Look, I got an eight -seater jacuzzi over my mansion. Why don't me and you go

over there and pick a little dick? Hold on, Dad. We got three more deliveries to

make.

canceled the shoot. They can't possibly cancel the shoot on us.

Would you just hold on a minute? Just wait.

Hello?

That's impossible. They wouldn't dare say that you were late. I mean, you are

never late.

Would somebody get me a helmet? There is something definitely wrong here.

Ah, Barry Jr.

The sweet bubbles of success.

I love it.

Feel like I'm sitting on Easy Street.

Wrong, you knothead. That's a jacuzzi jet. I love it sitting here while our

girls are out there on the street just making us gobs of money.

top and feel the wind.

A hot, wet time is about to begin.

We've got to see what you can be.

We'll be

right

back.

Get up to the

limousine!

Sheesh! You sure could use a shave there, honey.

Hey, Legs. Hi.

Still no boyfriend?

No, not yet.

I'm not really looking for one.

That's a shame. I'm looking for a girlfriend.

Who would want you?

My last count.

It's a wardrobe.

It is perfect.

It fits you so well.

Yes, so wonderful. It cuts you in all the right places.

Oh, yes, Mr. Pezzetti and his group. Yes, this is such wonderful work. We

shoot you, and you'll never be shot like that again.

It is perfect.

Oh! Is this the lingerie shirt? Yes, Zinga, it is. And we have been waiting.

Susie Q, Mademoiselle Susie Q, has been waiting for Zinga. Zinga, Susie Q. Now,

ladies, let Mr.

Pezzetti do his magic.

Susie? You?

Here? Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Uh -huh. Yes.

Okay. Now, we will put you in here. Uh -huh.

Come. Come. Linga.

Susie. There we go. We want you together.

Uh -huh. Like this.

Maybe like this. There.

No. I don't think we... Okay. I'll let you guys just work on yourself.

Mr. Presetti.

Does what he does in the camera have that?

No, this will not do. We need... Presetti magic is what we need. Okay, I

what we must do is take this here,

and we put up this, and then, uh -huh, and yes, and we're...

This is good! Good!

Don't know.

It is me. But I'm the great Pradeep.

And we were making art for it, we should say.

Yes. Uh -huh. Yes, indeed.

Let's take some more pictures.

Bring that shoulder up.

Other way.

That's it. Lovely.

Nice. That's one.

That's it. Come on.

That's lovely.

Come on.

Come on, you can do that. It's lovely.

Beautiful.

All right, come up on the handlebars here. That's beautiful.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Okay, come on. What are you doing?

This is what we call an indecent exposure.

Is there a problem here, officer? Yeah, excuse me. The violation of statute 1,

2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, not to mention 69 .9 of the penal code.

Nobody ever calls me indecent before. I'm not saying you're indecent. I'm not

even saying what you're exposing is indecent.

As a matter of fact, it's kind of decent.

I'm just doing my job. My job out here is to give out tickets.

Now, let me see your IUD.

Officer, I would like to report a crime in progress.

What are you talking about?

That is a crime in progress.

21 -16.

We have 36 -24 -36.

Can you send me some backup units, please? How about dinner?

Okay.

This is my talent?

This is my talent?

Makeup! Please!

And the dermatologist too, maybe, yeah? Yeah, I think so. Loopy. This is the

talent you bring for me.

I can't work, I can't! No, I can't. Mr.

Boss?

This way.

Oh, yeah, this is beautiful.

Best boys, please.

Turn the camera around.

Around. We go.

Oh, this is crazy. Not that spot!

this way, please.

Okay, here we go now. Settle down, settle down.

And on my cue, action. Good.

Oh yeah, very good.

Cut.

Fraulein, you have something better to do? Would you like to join us?

You are looking here, you are looking there, what?

You don't want to work with the great Helmut and Lupe?

No? You are looking here, I think.

There's another commercial you would like to be in, perhaps?

Over there?

Hmm? And what are you doing?

Sit back down and you are grabbing ball? And you are hitting this? Oh, incoming!

you had no hot flesh.

The sun is shining.

No, no, no. A hot flesh. A poof.

Oh, the hot flesh.

Yeah, and do you know why you have the hot flesh?

I don't know why, but I think you're going to tell me.

Because you are Italian.

Which one of you heads took my moose?

Listen to me.

Now, let's pretend we're adults and talk about this, okay?

You see, we're all fighting over nothing at all. What's really the problem?

The problem is that I haven't gotten paid for any of the work I did. Me

and I have no money.

Yeah? Well, I just got a bill for rent from Barry.

Can you believe that guy?

Okay, then we all agree, enough is enough.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we should just quit the agency until they pay us.

Yeah, and pay us now!

Yeah! Yeah!

Woo!

Yeah, we will wrap up the yogurt commercial on Friday.

We can't return the equipment until Monday.

Ultimately, we are going to have to have security around the equipment truck.

Yes! Yes!

And we're going to be keeping the equipment with the Fuji stock, and the

Steinbeck, and the Atom, and the Narcos, and the RDBF, and the P .B. Crane,

and the rest of the thing, yeah.

Junior, what the hell's all the commotion here?

Huh? We're making a movie.

Who's we?

I see me and you, nodhead.

What are you, French now? Oui, oui? You got a mouse in your pocket? No, dad,

dad. You and me. I'm directing and you're producing.

From an original script by yours truly.

So I could just find one we could shoot in two days.

So do you have one?

Uh, here's one.

A British werewolf in Miami.

What do you think?

A werewolf in Miami? Yeah. Sounds like a story about Madonna.

Nah, it's all good for the part.

But you know she does have hair in all the right places.

Yeah. So what else you got there?

This is a good one. This one we could shoot in a weekend.

It's about your life, Dad. It's called Mr. Miami.

Uh -huh. I like the way that sounds. Let me take a look at that.

Nah, it's garbage.

What do you mean it's garbage? It's garbage.

It's just garbage. Anyway, um... Here it is.

This is Perfection.

That's good.

Perfection, huh? Ah.

From Miami to Eternity. Sounds like a classic.

Also known as Oscar's List.

This is a film within a film within a film. See, what I did was I ripped off

climax scenes of 40 Academy Award winning films and I've woven into this

tapestry of spectacular cinematic images.

Hmm. Climax scenes, huh?

Now that sounds interesting.

We quit. I hate you.

Swine. Junior, how could you do this to me? I'm tired of this rubbish. Up your

bum. And we're going to sue you for all you're worth. Fine. See you in small

claims court.

Wait, wait, you girls haven't even heard about the feature film I've been asked

to direct.

Yeah, the kid's got his big break, and he wants to make you girls stars.

Did you say stars? I did.

You're lying.

Uh -uh. Junior, I'm so happy for you.

I'll tell you what, you girls show up 8 a .m. Saturday morning, and you'll see

if we're lying to you.

In the meantime, I have a copy of the script for each one of you.

Yeah, so why don't you girls just take a script, any script, and memorize a

part. Any part.

And where's the money for this? Oh, is that what this is about, cash, girls?

Well, here you go.

See?

Hey, not so fast.

You girls are what we moguls call pay or play.

That's right. You pay, we play.

Fab, here you go. You get to play that memorable role from Octagon. I mean,

Octopussy. And you, Cleopatra.

But I thought Cleopatra was Egyptian.

Well, Cleopatra was.

Egyptian, but Elizabeth Taylor was British.

And Zinga, you get to roll on the beach. Sex on the beach.

Hope it takes from here to eternity.

And Bab, you've used the gumbover, right?

Yeah. Good, because you're going to get Bonnie and Clyde. Right.

And legs.

Fabulous legs. Only you can play the long -legged French lieutenant.

I mean his woman.

That was really a close call. You know, we really do have to pay them this time.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how do you expect us to pay them? You know, we have to pay a film crew.

You know what I'm talking about, those big guys with tattoos who set things up,

break things down, snap people's necks and break their knees.

I know, I know, I know. Screw the writer, screw the director, and... Yeah,

most importantly, screw the talent.

You boys a weekend shift?

That's right, 10 -4 over and out, good buddy.

Well, they say this stuff's worth over a million bucks.

Stanley!

I think you had a little too much coffee there, Bill.

Hit the road. We got this baby covered.

Go home and feed the dogs, Bill. We got it for you.

Man,

them trailer parts and a broken phone get us far.

Well, the inbred thing. I'll tell you what we got here, Junior.

All right.

Well, I'll be darned. We hit the mother load, Barry Jr.

This stuff is worth a million bucks, though. You know, we could get into some

deep shit. Big shit.

Trouble. Heaps, mounds of it.

And action!

Okay, legs, you're carefully close to the rock.

You're looking for your lover.

You would crawl over these rocks, cold grass, anything looking for him.

Okay, the French lieutenant is never coming back. You've got to make him want

come back.

Show him your tits.

Okay, let me see those tears.

He did a French date rape. Yeah, and he ate all your croissants, too.

Dad, I am the director.

Nobody talks to the talent but the director.

You're right, you are the director. Thank you.

But nobody talks to the talent but the director and the director's dad.

Now, at you, bitch!

Oh, this is great!

This is great! Keep rolling, Phyllis! She's committing suicide!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! She's drowning!

She's drowning!

Perfect!

Okay?

Show us more tape.

Okay, keep rolling, keep rolling.

Something is corrupting in the state of Denmark.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

And cut. I love it, I love it.

Classical dialogue, amazingly mainstream visuals, and yet, and yet it's so Joe

Esterhout. Yeah.

your regular Schlemielberg.

Okay, and ninjas attack.

Okay, good. Whip them.

That's going good. Kick. Yes. Kick's the winner. Kick in. Kick. Use the size.

Kick. Yes. Okay, keep going and...

Kick him, punch him. Kick him.

Okay,

kick someone. Kick anyone.

Kick, kick, kick.

Oh, God!

Perfect!

Take two!

Also, show us more tits!

And action!

Okay, Clyde, get Spiney out of the car.

You're scared, you're nervous. The law is coming. It's the final showdown!

And guns out. Fire.

And you're dying.

You're dying. You're dying.

You're dead.

You're still dying.

And you're dead. Dad, Dad, what do you think? That was great.

That was good.

It was good. But next time, show us more tits.

It's fantastic.

You're in Venice.

It's hot. You're dying.

Oh, great.

Wrong.

I'm in Miami Beach.

I'm hot, and you're dying.

Get yourself another actor, schmuck.

This is the scene where Richard Burton tells Elizabeth Taylor how much he digs

her. All right. Okay, ready? And action.

Et tu?

Et tu, Berton?

Cut. Cut, cut.

Your husband's name is Richard Burton.

His name is Brutus. It's et tu, Brutus? Brutus. Brutus. Brutus.

Okay, et tu, Brutus? I'm ready. And action. Et tu, Berton?

Arrest him, officer. Right there. There's that worm.

Where are your papers?

Your little heterosexual small depression.

Nobody's going to like him no more.

Don't worry, guys. I'll be back. This happens.

Well,

folks, I guess that's what they call in this business a wrap.

Yeah, hello.

Life swapper?

Boy, have I got some girls for you.

No work.

At least you have a boyfriend.

Junior won't even look at me.

Who would hire us now, anyway?

We're practically criminals.

Oh, come on, girls.

Yeah, and in the meantime, where are our boyfriends?

Well, the last time I saw Rod, he was chasing legs.

Yeah. I have an idea where

we can all have some fun and teach those guys a lesson they'll never forget.

What is it?

First, we get a video camera.

Yeah. And then...

Now, you know what to do, right? Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. They're all the

same.

Okay, okay, go.

Oh, hi, Rod.

Hi.

Um, Beth is out in the casting today, so I was wondering, would you like to help

me to try on some lingerie?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Where's everybody else at? Oh, they're gone.

But you really think that...

Babs wouldn't mind?

You know, actually, I'm sure she'd want me to help you out. I mean, that's what

friends are for.

You know, this could definitely use some adjusting.

Oh. And this definitely has to come off.

Mm -mm.

I thought it did.

Oh.

What's going on here, Kenneth Cameron?

Hey, I was only trying to help her out.

I'll show you about being helpful.

What?

I just don't know where Fab is. I mean, she said she'd meet us here.

I haven't seen her. Well, that's all right. I'm kind of enjoying being alone

with you.

Dude, you wouldn't cheat on Fab, would you?

Oh, no, I'd never do that. But I still like being alone with you.

I mean, not before.

Keep your hand just like that so Fad can focus the camera.

Aha! So that's how my true little Boston boy does it.

Oh, shit.

Ooh, there.

Those moves and my great bra, we're going to make one great couple.

You dance so well. That's not all I can do. Oh, yeah?

Show me, big guy.

Ooh, now feast your eyes on this.

Feast your eyes on this.

Well, at least they're all consistent.

Oh, Eddie is so hot in here.

Here, baby.

Let me cool you off.

Oh, that's cold.

Well, I can always lick it off for you.

Before you do that, cowboy, I think you better monitor camera.

What do you mean by no distractions?

Leg, come on.

Now what do I do?

Oh, dear you.

Jack, I can't believe that.

What a pig.

What a pig.

Did you get that?

And this, that.

Hello?

No, Steve.

I'm sorry.

Babs, please. I'm trying to be enjoying being alone with you.

Yeah. Bye -bye, honey.

Woo,

let's go.

Well, I could always lick it off.

Thank you.

Not so fast, cowboy.

Yeah?

Oh, no, I'm sorry, Rod. Babs out shopping again.

Oh, yeah, I'll tell you when you call.

Bye.

Yeah.

Jeff, honey. What's up?

What do I do?

I'll show you.

Hello?

Eddie. No, sorry. Think I had to... Jeff is

amazingly good looking. That's not all I can do. Oh, yeah.

But he likes... I never do that.

Are you kidding?

That's the best.

And you're all crazy.

My God. Cowboy's the best and you all know it. Give me that phone. I'm calling

Jeff. No, no, no. I'm calling Steve.

Hello.

It's for you.

Yeah?

Well, at least they're all consistent.

Sure. Sure.

Julia wants me to be his date for the premiere of the movie tomorrow night.

good.

I don't give a damn.

I'd like to thank my mother, my father, my cousins,

my drama teachers.

And you should submit that to Germany's funniest home video.

Maybe a little bit too, uh, so -so campy, see?

No. Take a look.

Sneaking poop!

Come this way, please. I think they're tying his ponytail just a little too

tight.

That's what happens when you shoot non -union.

Worm.

Bitch. Don't know which one of you two did that, but you might think of

your name if you ever want to work in this town again.

Yeah, well, maybe we'll change it to your name.

I'm sure you don't even know my name. Yeah. What is it? Shit for brains?

Hit the streets, pencil neck.

It's okay. They just didn't understand it.

Oh, yeah. They understood perfectly.

It sucked.

I'm through.

Yes, you are.

And I'm out of here.

Oh, and by the way, Junior, I think you should drop that Junior thing at the end

of your name.

Or you'll be hearing from my lawyer, son.

Come on, let's get out of here. But where can we go, Havana?

Listen to me.

I like you, fam.

You did?

Yes, and I like you.

No kiss ever meant so much to me.

You know, I think I'm falling in love with you.

That's good, because I loved you from the first day I saw you.

Okay, you lucky swine. Step on up. Let's do some business and let's begin to

make your dreams a reality.

Ooh, let me think about this one. You must be the prince.

Yes, Prince Ali Khan from Shabam.

So, which girl's for you? The blonde one. I got 20 ,000 American dollars. Let

see it.

Sounds about right.

You want that girl? The sexy blonde.

Ah, she's white, you know. I got jungle fever. Yeah, she's the antidote then.

Okay, hit the streets, Wesley.

Neck, how chic?

Chic, a bull, da bull, fa bull. I got 20 ,000.

That's no bull. I take the blonde one.

20 ,000.

Sounds about right.

The blonde, huh? Not a bad choice for a man who rides between humps all day.

Yeah, take a walk, chic, and watch where you stick your sword.

Neck? Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi again.

Uh, 20 ,000. Uh -huh. Sounds good. I take, I take a brondie.

Brondie. Hi.

Hi again. You want brondie? Hi.

Well, you happen to be a lucky man, my friend, Mr. Shiguni Shogun Benihana

Tokyo, because I happen to have in excess of blondes in inventory.

So, by the way, also, she happens to be dumb, too.

Ah, you're lucky man.

Yeah. Okay, well, nice doing business with you. Oh, arigato.

Yeah, arigato and moriaki. And who's next?

Holy cow.

Holy cow is next. Yes, indeed.

My country have very, very, very few blondes. Really? Well, my country have

many, many, many 7 -Elevens. I want...

Blonde. Blonde. I should have guessed. All right, take a walk and watch what

do with your beef jerky.

Next.

$20 ,000, man.

Well, what are you, Al Pacino?

I won the little blonde one with the blue eyes.

The blonde one?

Tell you what, I'll take it. You'll take it.

So, this money clean?

It all depends what you think.

Well, it looks like you've been eating donuts. There's some powder on it. It's

hard -working money, my friend. Yes, I'm sure it is hard -working money. It's

going to work very hard in my pocket.

Thank you, Bandejo. I promise I would never, ever

be... whatever that name in English is again.

The word is stucker. Oh, screwed.

You know, we really have had some wild times here, haven't we?

Guys, I think I'm going to cry.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Yeah, I've got a plane to London to catch.

Maybe Junior needs a roommate.

Girls, I'm really glad I saw you. Boy, this is exciting.

I got a shoot for you girls today. Forget it, Barry.

Hey, listen, I got 500 bucks right here.

Take a look.

Cash up front now, and there's another 500 when you're done at the end of the

shoot. What shoot?

Can't believe it. We're shooting a bridal gown catalog right here in

mansion. Now, as a matter of fact...

Here you go.

We got bridal gowns for everybody. Here you go, Zynga.

Oh, and there's a bonus.

You girls can keep these when you're done, too.

Oh, and this is exciting, too. They're made out of 100 % acrylic, which means

they'll last longer than any marriage you will ever be in.

That's good. Uh -huh. Knew you'd like that.

So, there you go. Oh, now, also, by the way, I need you to sign these releases.

Here.

Pass them off. Just go ahead.

You can do this quickly. Barry has places to go. Why does mine say marriage

contract? And who is Shogun Manafui? Oh, not a marriage contract. That's a

misprint from another shoot. And that is the name of the guy you'll be modeling

with.

Okay, so let's go. Come, come, come. Down the stairs.

Come on, Zinga.

Bab, bab.

Everyone, move along.

Change.

Good. Have you seen Junior?

Legs, I've got a little Uncle Lee Barry advice for you.

I think you should forget about J .R.

You should be thinking about places like Abu Dhabi and Kuwait.

He's a loser.

You're much too much woman for him. And too tall.

I'll never forget him. Yeah, you will. Trust me.

Yeah, hello.

Eurotrash Productions?

I got a big fashion gig for that crowd photographer there.

Yeah, Helmet.

And make sure they send along that cabin boy assistant of his. What's his name?

Snoopy? Droopy?

No, no, no.

Loopy. Yeah, make sure Loopy's there.

Bye.

My dad, the rat, has abandoned the sicking ship.

No reason.

You know, you're what's important to me, and I didn't even know it.

The only thing.

Well, at least the girls are working today.

First of all, let me tell all the ladies present that God loves you.

Yes, he does.

Oh, I love it to have this. Just right on top of the head, with the clothes

coming down.

What kind of thing is this for, anyway?

Amen.

Deliver his love.

Time. You know what I mean.

What do they care about fat?

Not pictures, not pictures.

Boy, not from you, you Latin word.

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to bury... I'm a dearly deceased.

Wait a minute.

You're getting married, am I right?

Just a minute. Let me find the wedding.

Blue Hawaii?

No.

People of British? No.

They'll have brought... Oh, there it is. The wedding.

Multiple weddings and orgies.

Elaine, stop. It's a real wedding.

Dearly beloved.

Bonjour, Jean.

Qu 'est -ce qui se passe? Where's my chauffeur? I swear I had nothing to do

it. You had nothing to do with what?

I swear.

What are you doing?

You know what? Your mother was a dog.

Nothing but a lousy little poodle.

That's it.

Come on, let's get this over with. And unless some sort of a bitch should come

forward and tell us... You should not be bound and tagged and pulled.

Oh, oh, that.

Stop,

it's a real wedding.

When I hear about pronounce all of you husband and...

I'll take it you are the girl's father then.

Who are you?

What is this? I don't like surprises.

Barry told you girls to these men.

What?

I got a contract with this woman, man. You got a problem with that cockroach?

No, no, wait, wait, wait. I can refund all your money.

You better or else. All right, all right. You pushed me. You pushed me too

I'm calling my agent.

And I'm going to call up my bookie.

Yes, love this boat.

Love your new life there.

You're big, huge.

Bahamas, here we come.

Fraud? Gambling?

Champagne?

Man, live in the good life.

You deserve it. You're rich, Barry.

Rich! Rich, I tell you, it's mine!

It's all mine.

Love the money.

Well, let's just talk with her for a minute.

Hey, you cock -a -roach, you owe me $20 ,000, man. I'm sure we can negotiate

something. But what about our $500?

Barry promised it.

This is bullshit.

Stop being so mean to him. All of you.

Thank you.

You're amazing.

My money! My money! Oh, my God! The fish! They're eating it! I'm going to

you and kill you and then eat you! My money! Oh, it's... Yes?

Yes?

Really?

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You were at... Paramount, but you left

Paramount to go to Warner Brothers, but Universal made you a housekeeping deal?

Sure, babe, we can cut a deal. We're making a deal.

You've already deposited the money to my account? Oh, I love you, babe, you're

the best!

I, Junior, will refund all your money, gentlemen, because I have just cut a six

-figure gross royalty output deal with a seven -figure fee.

Yes! The studio grew Junior out of the film and the sequel, and we all went

home. Still broke, but a little wider.

I stayed in touch with all the girls from that season.

We all send these little videos to each other so we can keep up.

Here's my collection.

Hi, girls! I'm a cowgirl now!

Hey, girls. I'm a princess now.

Hey, everybody!

Hi, everybody.

It's me, Lex.

I would like to see... for my next film.

It's sort of a Marlene Dietrich number.

Do you know why you can't keep a generous mustache on?

I don't know why, boss. Because you are Italian!

Ron actually became a veterinarian and does plastic surgery on poodles. We're

rich.

Hey, we went to the Bahamas for Easter and guess what we caught on our video?

Check this out.

No, you folks must be new here in town in the Bahamas. Yeah, what do you want,

gambling junket? Nah, I don't think so.

Probably honeymoon. I think you should get something for this little cutie over

here. How about this?

Beautiful. Take a look at this pre -owned coconut. Is this a sight to

Is this gorgeous?

This is fabulous. This is for this woman. She's big. She's beautiful. All

a little beat -up. I'll let that happen. You know, what's the matter? Five

years? It's a pretty good -looking piece of coconut for five years.

You, I got something for you, beautiful.

You guys are just married. Take a look at this coconut. Only one year old. I'll

give you something in a second, Leach. There you go. It's beautiful.

What's the story? Is this your friend? You couldn't get him a date?

We should work on a date for him.

A piece of coral for you. This is what you got your eye on, don't you, young

man? Yeah.

How do you like that little baby?

So it beats any Fisher -Piper toy you can find anywhere. Take a look at that.

like it. You like the weight on that thing, don't you? Let's see what else we

got. You got your eye on anything else special?

Anything in particular that looks different to you? I think you want the

one. You want this big one. That fresh one doesn't look too good. You guys want

to have matching coconuts, don't you?

Yeah, I think you should have matching coconuts.