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1
00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:37,438
It's important to me
to make everyone look good,
2
00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:39,898
but I never forget
that my main job
3
00:00:39,982 --> 00:00:42,734
is to make everyone's head
fit in a helmet.
4
00:00:42,860 --> 00:00:44,862
Hey, Norman.
What you got there?
5
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,905
Notice for our Army
physical examinations.
6
00:00:46,989 --> 00:00:48,532
Barbers are up in six weeks.
7
00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:50,325
I have to get another physical?!
8
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,869
But didn't I just get one?
9
00:00:52,077 --> 00:00:54,371
Uh, four years ago.
10
00:00:54,496 --> 00:00:55,998
You counting on another miracle?
11
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,213
This, this thing...
12
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,010
Making me run.
13
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:14,600
Hmm. Well, soldier,
looks like you...
14
00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:15,851
Passed?
15
00:01:15,934 --> 00:01:17,269
Oh, this isn't right.
16
00:01:17,352 --> 00:01:19,480
Frank, you bonehead,
you forgot to reset.
17
00:01:19,563 --> 00:01:22,232
Well, what do we do?
18
00:01:23,859 --> 00:01:25,319
Congratulations, soldier!
19
00:01:25,402 --> 00:01:27,154
You passed!
20
00:01:30,106 --> 00:01:32,743
I got lucky once, maybe
it'll happen again.
21
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,119
You really need luck?
22
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:36,663
Okay, you can rub my head.
23
00:01:36,788 --> 00:01:39,541
Bill, you've got six weeks
to pass that physical.
24
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,502
That's plenty of time
to get into shape.
25
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:42,544
Really?
26
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,880
Yeah, man, but talk-- talkin'
'bout ol' physician
27
00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:46,965
before starting a dang
ol' exercise program, man.
28
00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:50,719
Talkin' 'bout dang ol' tick,
tick, tick, boom, man.
29
00:01:52,262 --> 00:01:54,139
Yes, you need
to start eating right.
30
00:01:54,306 --> 00:01:56,225
But what you really need
is exercise.
31
00:01:57,392 --> 00:02:00,187
Have you considered
joining a gym?
32
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:01,522
A gym?
33
00:02:01,647 --> 00:02:03,232
But I can't work out in public,
34
00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:04,900
in front of all those
healthy people.
35
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,109
I'm too fat.
36
00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,237
You're too fat to go to a gym?
37
00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:09,863
Poor Bill.
38
00:02:09,947 --> 00:02:13,116
Too fat to work out,
not fat enough to live in bed.
39
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,160
Well, you can always
work out at home.
40
00:02:15,285 --> 00:02:17,287
A ton of people have tried
that and are now selling
41
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,331
their equipment on our
community bulletin board.
42
00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,798
Hey, that's
Principal Moss's address.
43
00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:31,093
This is some
nice equipment, Carl.
44
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:34,304
Wait. "Property of
Tom Landry Middle School"?
45
00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:37,224
Football team
got all new equipment.
46
00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:40,352
I thought, as principal,
it was my duty to sell it.
47
00:02:40,435 --> 00:02:41,770
For the children.
48
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,522
So, Bill, what do you think?
49
00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:44,815
I don't know.
50
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,692
I mean, I don't want
to lose my job...
51
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,318
That's where I go every day...
52
00:02:48,443 --> 00:02:50,028
But this is all so pricey.
53
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:51,572
The children will take less.
54
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,782
Well, how about we all
go in on it together?
55
00:02:53,865 --> 00:02:55,409
Then everyone can use it.
56
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:56,952
We'll set it up in your garage;
57
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:59,037
it'll be like
our own neighborhood gym.
58
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,164
So you guys
will get me in shape?
59
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,499
No, Bill.
60
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,251
We'll be there
to help you get started,
61
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:07,671
but the simple fact is,
only you can get you into shape.
62
00:03:07,838 --> 00:03:09,214
Yeah, while I'm at it,
63
00:03:09,298 --> 00:03:11,842
why don't I fly to the moon
and marry a mermaid?
64
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,468
You can do this, Bill.
65
00:03:13,552 --> 00:03:15,512
You used to be
a high school athlete.
66
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:20,058
All you need is focus, a little
hard work and self-discipline.
67
00:03:22,394 --> 00:03:24,438
I can throw in
an overhead projector.
68
00:03:31,737 --> 00:03:33,822
This is the perfect place
for a gym.
69
00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:36,825
It's close, it's quiet,
and it already smelled.
70
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,328
Yeah, it's so much
better than my gym.
71
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,955
Do you know how many skeevie
old men's cell phone cameras
72
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,458
go off when I get on
that inner thigh machine?
73
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:46,084
I'm kind of tired of my gym.
74
00:03:46,209 --> 00:03:47,586
The machines are great,
75
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:49,921
but it's nothing
but gay sex all the time.
76
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,550
This should come with a cape!
77
00:04:04,061 --> 00:04:05,854
Come on, Bill, you're up.
78
00:04:06,104 --> 00:04:08,398
Maybe I could
lift weights later.
79
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,900
When everyone is gone.
80
00:04:10,108 --> 00:04:11,485
This is not the place for you
81
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:13,153
to finally start
feeling embarrassed.
82
00:04:13,236 --> 00:04:15,197
Yeah, it's a safe
environment, sug'.
83
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,367
Peggy tooted on the hack squat
machine and nobody said a word.
84
00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:33,882
I did it!
85
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,221
I can get in shape!
86
00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:40,889
I can pass my physical.
87
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,809
I can fly to the moon
and marry a mermaid!
88
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,770
To the moon!
89
00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:05,956
Pec Nectar.
90
00:05:06,081 --> 00:05:09,751
Insane fuel for hard-core mass
and road map vascularity."
91
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,294
Hmm.
92
00:05:12,671 --> 00:05:13,630
Oh! Sorry.
93
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,006
I thought you were a bear.
94
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,591
You lookin' to get
jacked, brother?
95
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,427
I'm here to get some vitamins.
96
00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:19,803
Vitamins?
97
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,514
You lookin' to fight
the sniffles or max your pump?!
98
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,474
I don't know...
I just want to get healthy.
99
00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:25,809
Right on, bro.
100
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,562
Have you ever seen anything
more healthy than this?
101
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,230
I can't be that healthy.
102
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,774
You can't-ed your way
into that body, hombre.
103
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,068
Lucky for you, I can help.
104
00:05:35,277 --> 00:05:37,279
Well, I would definitely
love the help,
105
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,531
but Hank says
I have to do this myself.
106
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:40,824
Hank?
107
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,744
I hate to see a guy like you,
with real desire,
108
00:05:43,869 --> 00:05:47,914
being led astray by a workout
zero like this chump Hank!
109
00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:50,125
Can your Hank do this?
110
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:54,546
Wow, Hank doesn't
even have those.
111
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,715
Exactly.
You know how I got 'em?
112
00:05:56,882 --> 00:05:57,841
Spinach?
113
00:05:58,008 --> 00:06:00,844
From a well-crafted
total fitness regimen.
114
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,637
Tell me, brother,
where do you work out?
115
00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:04,473
I just have a
little gym at home.
116
00:06:05,307 --> 00:06:07,851
Friend, this is your lucky day.
117
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,187
The Dirkster is taking over
your training.
118
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,897
No, but I could
never afford you.
119
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,565
I mean, you're huge.
120
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:14,733
I am.
121
00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:16,818
That's why the local gyms
won't let me train.
122
00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:18,820
They're jealous of my pump.
123
00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:20,697
So this is what we're gonna do.
124
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:24,659
I'll train you for free, and
you let me use your home gym.
125
00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:26,578
So it's not all up to me?
126
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:27,954
Well, that sounds great!
127
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,998
It's beyond great.
I can get you stacked,
128
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,083
jacked, and juiced,
but I need 100% commitment!
129
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:34,294
I need you to pledge allegiance
to the nation of pump!
130
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:37,130
I need you to vow to get
in the best shape of your life!
131
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:39,466
You in, brother?
132
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,384
I'm in!
133
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,679
Brother!
134
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,226
Yep.
135
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,685
Yup.
136
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,187
Mm-hmm.
137
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:55,982
Dirk says this rapid-release
protein supplement
138
00:06:56,066 --> 00:06:58,026
will really max my pump.
139
00:06:58,193 --> 00:06:59,778
Question: Who is Dirk,
140
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:02,113
what is a rapid-release
protein supplement,
141
00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:05,575
where is your pump, and why
does Dirk want to max it?
142
00:07:05,742 --> 00:07:07,410
Well, Dirk is a
personal trainer.
143
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,287
He's gonna create a
workout system for me
144
00:07:09,371 --> 00:07:10,747
to ensure total fitness.
145
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:11,665
What?
146
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,959
Well, that's what professional
personal trainers do.
147
00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,837
They don't just send you out on
your own and hope for the best.
148
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,964
You know, like you did, Hank.
149
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:20,173
Damn it, Hank,
150
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,133
sooner or later,
your sunny optimism
151
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:24,302
is going to get us all killed.
152
00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:30,642
Ah, so nice.
153
00:07:30,809 --> 00:07:32,519
Who thought Bill's
house could function as
154
00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:34,688
something other than a
shrine to crushing misery?
155
00:07:35,897 --> 00:07:37,983
Ooh! My trainers here!
156
00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:46,575
Hey, Bill, this is
Gorilla and Coach.
157
00:07:46,658 --> 00:07:48,618
Let's blast some delts!
158
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,372
Gorilla in the house!
159
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,296
All right, tea party's over!
160
00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:03,174
Excuse me, what are you doing?
161
00:08:03,258 --> 00:08:05,552
Don't worry, just adding
a little resistance
162
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,888
to shred your bis.
163
00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:12,267
Hey there, sweets,
164
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:13,768
let me help you.
165
00:08:13,852 --> 00:08:15,437
See, your elbows aren't tight,
166
00:08:15,604 --> 00:08:18,607
so you're missing out
on a sick rip!
167
00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:25,655
His arm's having a heart attack!
168
00:08:26,031 --> 00:08:28,909
I'll tell you why
I don't lift weights.
169
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,579
'Cause every time
I start to lift, I wait.
170
00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:38,752
Quiet down, Bobby.
171
00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:42,672
Sorry, Dirk. You were
talking about my delts.
172
00:08:47,469 --> 00:08:48,762
Big up, Gorilla!
173
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,014
Represent!
174
00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:55,268
Hey, Hank!
175
00:08:55,477 --> 00:08:58,104
Bill, these are your trainers?
They're huge!
176
00:08:58,313 --> 00:09:01,816
I know! You can tell them that
if you want to. It's not rude.
177
00:09:02,025 --> 00:09:03,318
Uh, that's okay.
178
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:07,489
Uh, so, those pants
sure are, uh, tiny.
179
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,200
You want to put on
some, uh... more pants
180
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,619
and come on out
for some light cardio?
181
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:14,704
Cardio!
182
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,457
Sorry, Hank, no time.
183
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,125
I'm moving on to biceps.
184
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,043
Yeah!
185
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,337
Time to feed the pythons!
186
00:09:22,504 --> 00:09:25,048
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
187
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,509
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
188
00:09:27,676 --> 00:09:28,593
Oh, yeah.
189
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,470
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
190
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,559
Hmm. I don't like
191
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,020
being around those scary
weight-lifter guys.
192
00:09:39,104 --> 00:09:40,772
They talk in yelling.
193
00:09:40,855 --> 00:09:43,984
Yeah, and they look like
they're filled with bowling balls.
194
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:45,402
They are freaks, Hank.
195
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,321
I swear I saw a live chicken
go in that gym
196
00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:50,115
that did not come out.
197
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,909
Look, I'm not gonna tell you
I enjoyed what I saw,
198
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:55,286
but the truth is,
they've got Bill working out,
199
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:56,871
and that's what's important.
200
00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:58,790
We'll just have
to work around them.
201
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:00,542
♪ Body, body ♪
202
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,793
♪ Wanna feel ♪
203
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,212
♪ Wanna feel my body, baby ♪
204
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,007
♪ Body, such a thrill my body ♪
205
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,050
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
206
00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,302
♪ Wanna touch my body ♪
207
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,684
♪ Every man wants to be
A macho, macho man ♪
208
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:20,687
♪ To have the kind of body
Always in demand ♪
209
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:24,774
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! ♪
210
00:10:24,899 --> 00:10:26,776
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
211
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,486
♪ Macho man ♪
212
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:31,406
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
213
00:10:31,573 --> 00:10:35,577
♪ I've got to be a
Macho, macho man ♪
214
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:38,705
♪ I've got to be a macho
Ow! ♪
215
00:10:39,497 --> 00:10:43,001
♪ Macho, macho man, yeah ♪
216
00:10:43,084 --> 00:10:46,046
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
217
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:52,927
Hey!
218
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:54,262
Problem?
219
00:10:54,345 --> 00:10:56,014
Uh... no, sir!
220
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,729
You know the military physical
221
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:04,606
is mostly running
on a treadmill, right?
222
00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:06,066
Run?
223
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,318
These guns run from nothing.
224
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:12,155
Ew!
225
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,078
Your bulk is so fierce.
226
00:11:18,203 --> 00:11:21,206
Almost as swole as mine.
227
00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:22,624
Damn, it's too bad
228
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,709
nobody else is here
to see this sweet rip.
229
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,252
Dude, I'm right here,
230
00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:27,796
and I think
you're lookin' yolked.
231
00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:31,049
I know, but I'm talking
about small people.
232
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,105
Huh.
233
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:47,315
We need to make some rules.
234
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,821
Hey, Bill, uh, you got a second?
235
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,953
Uh, Bill?
236
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,081
What's on your mind?
237
00:12:03,248 --> 00:12:04,666
Uh, the thing is,
238
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,835
the atmosphere has changed
around here,
239
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,503
and people aren't really
comfortable
240
00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:10,255
using the gym anymore.
241
00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:12,882
There's nothing comfortable
about getting shredded, Hank.
242
00:12:13,091 --> 00:12:14,259
What you're not
243
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,594
comfortable with
is hard work and pain.
244
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:18,388
That's 'cause
all you people are lazy.
245
00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:19,639
Now, hold on.
246
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,266
Prove me wrong, Little Man.
247
00:12:21,391 --> 00:12:22,725
Why don't you hit the bench?
248
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,436
I'm not getting on
the got dang bench, Bill.
249
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,147
Quit being a jackass.
250
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:28,940
I'll tell you what.
251
00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:32,936
Why don't you smurfs start
your own gym across the way?
252
00:12:33,111 --> 00:12:34,863
These look about your size.
253
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,159
You're a jerk, Bill.
254
00:12:39,242 --> 00:12:41,578
Just forget it.
You can keep your weights.
255
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:43,788
Don't take it personal.
256
00:12:43,872 --> 00:12:46,291
He's just jealous
of your juicy rip.
257
00:13:05,268 --> 00:13:06,978
They're just weak.
258
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,147
They want this body!
259
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,815
Want this power!
260
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:13,526
Want this pump!
261
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,570
I'll show 'em who's a jerk!
262
00:13:25,079 --> 00:13:26,331
Ow!
263
00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:33,796
Ugh! On!
264
00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:35,715
All right, Diesel!
265
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:36,799
You need a spot?
266
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:40,094
I... I need a... a doctor.
267
00:13:40,261 --> 00:13:42,931
I pushed it... too hard.
268
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:43,973
This is great.
269
00:13:44,098 --> 00:13:45,558
You've reached the threshold!
270
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:47,268
It's the moment
when your entire body
271
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,103
is screaming at you to stop,
and you think
272
00:13:49,187 --> 00:13:51,522
there's a realistic chance
you might die.
273
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,191
I know it's a good workout
274
00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:56,319
when blood vessels
in the back of my eyeballs pop!
275
00:13:56,611 --> 00:13:59,322
No agony, no braggony.
276
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,990
Am I right?
277
00:14:01,199 --> 00:14:02,742
Uh-uh.
278
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,160
Diesel's lost focus.
279
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,955
Guys, we're gonna have to move
in here and keep him true.
280
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:12,794
No more. No more!
281
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:16,047
You're gonna want
to sleep, but don't worry.
282
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,174
I won't let that happen.
283
00:14:18,383 --> 00:14:20,093
Yeah, but... but I...
284
00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:30,186
Push! Push! Push!
285
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,443
You look like you
need a protein fix.
286
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,700
"Look at me
eating eggs."
287
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,159
Show-off.
288
00:14:51,582 --> 00:14:53,334
All right!
289
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:54,961
Good stack and rack, guys!
290
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:56,838
Wait, please.
291
00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:58,548
Can I get a hand?
292
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,883
Nope, but if you can
get up by yourself,
293
00:15:01,009 --> 00:15:02,593
you can sleep in your own bed
294
00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:04,595
and use your own toilet.
295
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,056
We'll leave the thrash
metal on for motivation.
296
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,351
Help!
297
00:15:10,435 --> 00:15:12,353
Help!
298
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,857
Help!
299
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:26,743
George Washington, no mass.
300
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:28,828
Thomas Jefferson, no mass.
301
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:31,331
Freakin' Ben Franklin, no mass.
302
00:15:31,414 --> 00:15:33,333
That's why they won't
let Arnold be president.
303
00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:34,751
They're jealous!
304
00:15:34,876 --> 00:15:36,502
It ain't right!
305
00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:38,504
War!
306
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,214
Yeah!
307
00:15:40,381 --> 00:15:42,717
Three! Yeah, yeah!
308
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,719
Here comes Jack!
309
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,387
Yeah!
310
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,522
Uh, hello?
311
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:57,940
Hank! Hank!
312
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,902
It's 3:00 in the morning. Bill?
313
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:03,363
It's me! It's me Bill!
314
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:06,407
Did you call just to let me
know you're working out?
315
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,784
Well, okay, I get it!
316
00:16:07,909 --> 00:16:08,785
No!
317
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,877
How much longer till bedtime?
318
00:16:18,002 --> 00:16:19,462
14 minutes.
319
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,214
Righteous.
320
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:47,407
All right, Diesel,
working the abs!
321
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,033
But todays a pec day.
322
00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:57,041
Hank, today is
Bill's Army physical;
323
00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:59,836
Bobby, it's chicken and
dumplings for school lunch;
324
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,796
and I have a pap smear.
325
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:05,425
I hate chicken and dumplings.
I'll trade you, Mom.
326
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:08,678
Dang it. I bet Bill forgot
his physical was today.
327
00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:10,388
You gonna remind him, Dad?
328
00:17:10,471 --> 00:17:11,722
No, I'm not, Bobby.
329
00:17:11,889 --> 00:17:14,225
Mr. Dauterive is
no longer a friend,
330
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:16,853
he's just a pumped up,
annoying neighbor.
331
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:20,356
I'm a little grossed out
by him, too, Dad,
332
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:22,358
but he was human once.
333
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,070
Well, I guess
I should remind him.
334
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,990
If he loses his job,
he'll have to sell his weights,
335
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,658
and then he'll come over here
336
00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:33,202
and crush our appliances
for exercise.
337
00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,037
Can't do it.
338
00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:36,706
Damn it, Diesel,
we haven't gotten
339
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,458
a good rep out of you
in two days!
340
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:39,834
We were soft on him.
341
00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,502
We let him down.
342
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:46,799
Oh, God.
343
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,635
Bill, did you forget
you have your physical today?
344
00:17:49,844 --> 00:17:51,804
Bill hasn't passed
our physical yet.
345
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,098
And that's the only one
that matters, right, Diesel?
346
00:17:56,851 --> 00:17:58,311
- Right on!
- Yeah, you heard him!
347
00:17:58,519 --> 00:17:59,562
Are you okay, Bill?
348
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:00,980
Sure he's okay.
349
00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,231
He's in the zone!
350
00:18:08,613 --> 00:18:10,239
So I tell Minh,
351
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:13,075
I trade this six-pack
for this six-pack.
352
00:18:15,912 --> 00:18:17,371
She threw me out.
353
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:18,748
Guys.
354
00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:19,832
And Kahn.
355
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:21,042
Hello.
356
00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:22,710
I'm worried about Bill.
357
00:18:22,919 --> 00:18:23,878
You should be.
358
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,505
You probably fall
somewhere between
359
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:28,257
a drumstick and a ham sandwich
to him these days.
360
00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:30,343
He's hurt bad, and I think
those meatheads
361
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:31,886
are holding him captive.
362
00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:36,557
I know, Boomhauer, but what
I just saw was a glimpse of,
363
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:37,975
Well, Bill.
364
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:41,229
I mean, the real Bill,
with all his fear and anguish
365
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:44,065
and self-loathing,
and he looked hurt.
366
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:46,108
We need to get him to a doctor.
367
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:47,693
Push! Push! Push!
368
00:18:47,818 --> 00:18:49,487
Rock and roll!
369
00:18:57,161 --> 00:18:59,163
Uh, hey, guys,
sorry to interrupt.
370
00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:02,500
Uh, here's the thing:
We all admire your pump
371
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:03,584
so much,
372
00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:07,421
we want you to help
swell our thick and such.
373
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,423
Right on, brothers.
374
00:19:09,507 --> 00:19:10,716
I knew you'd come around.
375
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,134
Let's work on those traps.
376
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:15,763
Actually, uh, maybe he should
help with my traps.
377
00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:17,390
His are way bigger than yours.
378
00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:18,990
- It's true.
- Yeah, man, tell you what, man.
379
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,060
Coach?! Please.
380
00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:22,645
His traps are like speed bumps.
381
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,398
I've got a bus parked on
either side of my neck.
382
00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:26,899
Speed bumps?!
383
00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:32,113
Check it.
384
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,992
Actually, this one have
best physique of all you guys.
385
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:38,160
Whoa, yeah!
386
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,288
Dig it!
387
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:50,715
We're gonna get you
out of here, Bill.
388
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,091
Okay, let's lift him up.
389
00:19:58,139 --> 00:19:59,890
Man, dang ol',
maybe we do need to lift
390
00:19:59,974 --> 00:20:03,227
some got dang ol' weights,
man, pump our thick, man.
391
00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:09,525
So what's the situation, doctor?
392
00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:11,152
Is he gonna be okay?
393
00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:13,571
Well, it's incredible.
394
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,324
It's unlike anything
I've ever seen.
395
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,369
What are we looking at here?
396
00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:22,747
I don't quite know
how to put this.
397
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,416
I mean, we don't even
have a term for it,
398
00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:27,752
but your rectum ruptured,
399
00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:30,630
and, well, your internal systems
400
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:33,716
became... external.
401
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,218
Oh, my God.
402
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:37,970
I know, it's amazing!
403
00:20:38,054 --> 00:20:40,014
The pain must have
been unbearable!
404
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:42,266
Oh, sorry.
405
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:48,773
I can't work out for six months.
406
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:51,067
My muscles will be gone by then.
407
00:20:51,192 --> 00:20:52,943
Well, you looked
better without them.
408
00:20:53,110 --> 00:20:56,405
And, hey, at least your physical
was postponed until you recover.
409
00:20:56,614 --> 00:20:57,698
Yeah.
410
00:20:57,782 --> 00:20:59,200
Well, look at it this way.
411
00:20:59,283 --> 00:21:01,702
You've got a new goal:
Dropping that extra weight.
412
00:21:01,911 --> 00:21:05,581
Let's start with a really
killer walk to the mailbox.
413
00:21:06,791 --> 00:21:08,125
Hows that?
414
00:21:08,292 --> 00:21:10,002
You feel the burn?
415
00:21:10,127 --> 00:21:11,629
No.
416
00:21:11,796 --> 00:21:13,297
Perfect.
417
00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:54,839
No agony, no braggony!
27041
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