Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,137
It's important to me
to make everyone look good,
2
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,606
but I never forget
that my main job
3
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,509
is to make everyone's head
fit in a helmet.
4
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,978
Hey, Norman.
What you got there?
5
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,880
Notice for our Army
physical examinations.
6
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,348
Barbers are up
in six weeks.
7
00:00:48,414 --> 00:00:50,050
I have to get another physical?!
8
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,818
But didn't I just get one?
9
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,154
Uh, four years ago.
10
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,122
You counting on another miracle?
11
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,261
(wheezing)
12
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:03,496
This, this thing...
13
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,765
(wheezing)
14
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,569
Making me run.
15
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:09,636
(sighs)
16
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:14,608
Hmm. Well, soldier,
looks like you...
17
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:15,909
passed?
18
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,143
Oh, this isn't right.
19
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,613
Frank, you bonehead,
you forgot to reset.
20
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,682
Well, what do we do?
21
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,485
Congratulations,
soldier!
22
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,287
You passed!
23
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:32,859
I got lucky once, maybe
it'll happen again.
24
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,994
You really need luck?
25
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,297
Okay, you can rub my head.
26
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,499
Bill, you've got six weeks
to pass that physical.
27
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,502
That's plenty of time
to get into shape.
28
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:42,703
Really?
29
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,538
Yeah, man, but talk‐talkin'
'bout ol' physician
30
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,540
before starting a dang
ol' exercise program, man.
31
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:50,777
Talkin' 'bout dang ol' tick,
tick, tick, boom, man.
32
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,014
DOCTOR:
Yes, you need
to start eating right.
33
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,316
But what you really need
is exercise.
34
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,053
Have you considered
joining a gym?
35
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,154
A gym?
36
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,723
But I can't work
out in public,
37
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,858
in front of all those
healthy people.
38
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,059
I'm too fat.
39
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,094
You're too fat
to go to a gym?
40
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,730
Poor Bill.
41
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,099
Too fat to work out,
not fat enough to live in bed.
42
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,735
Well, you can always
work out at home.
43
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,170
A ton of people have tried
that and are now selling
44
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,405
their equipment on our
community bulletin board.
45
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,681
Hey, that's
Principal Moss's address.
46
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,751
This is some
nice equipment, Carl.
47
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,220
Wait. "Property of Tom
Landry Middle School"?
48
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,757
Football team
got all new equipment.
49
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,360
I thought, as principal,
it was my duty to sell it.
50
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,928
For the children.
51
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,129
So, Bill,
what do you think?
52
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:44,297
I don't know.
53
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,366
I mean, I don't want
to lose my job‐‐
54
00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:47,868
that's where I
go every day‐‐
55
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,970
but this is
all so pricey.
56
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,371
The children will take less.
57
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,840
Well, how about we all
go in on it together?
58
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,308
Then everyone can use it.
59
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:56,643
We'll set it up in your garage;
60
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,979
it'll be like
our own neighborhood gym.
61
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:01,114
So you guys
will get me in shape?
62
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,315
No, Bill.
63
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,884
We'll be there
to help you get started,
64
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:07,688
but the simple fact is,
only you can get you into shape.
65
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,855
Yeah, while I'm at it,
66
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,758
why don't I fly to the moon
and marry a mermaid?
67
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,426
You can do this, Bill.
68
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,195
You used to be
a high school athlete.
69
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:19,666
All you need is focus, a little
hard work and self‐discipline.
70
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,505
I can throw in
an overhead projector.
71
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,547
This is the perfect place
for a gym.
72
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:36,683
It's close, it's quiet,
and it already smelled.
73
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,085
Yeah, it's so much
better than my gym.
74
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,855
Do you know how many skeevie
old men's cell phone cameras
75
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,324
go off when I get on
that inner thigh machine?
76
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,059
I'm kind of tired of my gym.
77
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,393
The machines are great,
78
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,930
but it's nothing
but gay sex all the time.
79
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,967
This should come with a cape!
80
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,612
Come on, Bill,
you're up.
81
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,448
Maybe I could
lift weights later.
82
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,916
When everyone is gone.
83
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,317
This is not the place for you
84
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,153
to finally start
feeling embarrassed.
85
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,988
Yeah, it's a safe
environment, sug.
86
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:18,525
Peggy tooted on the hack squat
machine and nobody said a word.
87
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,468
(straining)
88
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,607
I did it!
89
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,975
(all cheering)
All right.
90
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,810
Yay!
Good for you.
91
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,345
I can get in shape!
92
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,881
I can pass my physical.
93
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,684
I can fly to the moon
and marry a mermaid!
94
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,819
To the moon!
95
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,524
(panting)
96
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,772
"Pec Nectar.
97
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,976
Insane fuel for hard‐core mass
and road map vascularity."
98
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,277
Hmm.
99
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,312
(screams)
100
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,514
Oh! Sorry.
101
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,748
I thought you
were a bear.
102
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,382
You lookin' to get
jacked, brother?
103
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,251
I'm here to get some vitamins.
104
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,686
Vitamins?
105
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,355
You lookin' to fight
the sniffles or max your pump?!
106
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,324
I don't know‐‐
I just want to get healthy.
107
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,759
Right on, bro.
108
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,394
Have you ever seen anything
more healthy than this?
109
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,930
I can't be that healthy.
110
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,666
You can't‐ed your way
into that body, hombre.
111
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,801
Lucky for you, I can help.
112
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,937
Well, I would definitely
love the help,
113
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,573
but Hank says
I have to do this myself.
114
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,741
Hank?
115
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,644
I hate to see a guy like you,
with real desire,
116
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,614
being led astray by a workout
zero like this chump Hank!
117
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,050
Can your Hank do this?
118
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,621
Wow, Hank doesn't
even have those.
119
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,421
Exactly.
120
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,723
You know how I got 'em?
121
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:57,791
Spinach?
122
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,594
From a well‐crafted
total fitness regimen.
123
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,563
Tell me, brother,
where do you work out?
124
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,297
I just have a
little gym at home.
125
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,768
Friend, this is your lucky day.
126
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,903
The Dirkster is taking over
your training.
127
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,138
No, but I could
never afford you.
128
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,640
I mean, you're huge.
129
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,775
I am.
130
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,043
That's why the local gyms
won't let me train.
131
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,579
They're jealous of my pump.
132
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,714
So this is what
we're gonna do.
133
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:24,450
I'll train you for free, and
you let me use your home gym.
134
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,520
So it's not all up to me?
135
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,754
Well, that sounds great!
136
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,690
It's beyond great.
I can get you stacked,
137
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,825
jacked and juiced,
but I need 100% commitment!
138
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,927
I need you to pledge allegiance
to the nation of pump!
139
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,531
I need you to vow to get
in the best shape of your life!
140
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,666
You in, brother?
141
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,467
I'm in!
142
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,137
Brother!
143
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,375
Yep.
144
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,711
Yup.
145
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,778
Mm‐hmm.
146
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,316
Dirk says this rapid‐
release protein supplement
147
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,951
will really
max my pump.
148
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,720
Question: who is Dirk,
149
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,988
what is a rapid‐release
protein supplement,
150
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,358
where is your pump and why
does Dirk want to max it?
151
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,093
Well, Dirk is a
personal trainer.
152
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,395
He's gonna create a
workout system for me
153
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:10,764
to ensure
total fitness.
154
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,431
What?
155
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:12,566
Well, that's what
156
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,200
professional
personal trainers do.
157
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,637
They don't just send you out on
your own and hope for the best.
158
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:19,072
You know, like
you did, Hank.
159
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,240
DALE:
Damn it, Hank,
160
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,842
sooner or later,
your sunny optimism
161
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,210
is going to get us all killed.
162
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,483
Ah, so nice.
163
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,452
Who thought Bill's
house could function as
164
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,420
something other than a
shrine to crushing misery?
165
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:35,522
(knock at door)
166
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,058
Ooh! My trainer's here!
167
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,700
Hey, Bill, this is
Gorilla and Coach.
168
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,034
Let's blast some delts!
169
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,539
Gorilla in the house!
170
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,709
(rock music playing)
171
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:59,479
All right, tea party's over!
172
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:03,083
Excuse me, what
are you doing?
173
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,552
Don't worry, just adding
a little resistance
174
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,954
to shred your bis.
175
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,657
(gasps)
176
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,158
Hey there, sweets,
177
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,727
let me help you.
178
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,295
See, your elbows
aren't tight,
179
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,030
so you're missing out
180
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,765
on a sick rip!
181
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,268
(screaming)
182
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,539
His arm's having
a heart attack!
183
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,709
I'll tell you why
I don't lift weights.
184
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:32,679
'Cause every time
I start to lift, I wait.
185
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:33,980
(both laughing)
186
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,586
Quiet down, Bobby.
187
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,923
Sorry, Dirk. You were
talking about my delts.
188
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:47,460
(Gorilla straining)
189
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:48,595
Big up, Gorilla!
190
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,031
Represent!
191
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,299
(grunts)
192
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,001
Hey, Hank!
193
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,871
Bill, these are
your trainers?
They're huge!
194
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:01,675
I know! You can tell them that
if you want to. It's not rude.
195
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,176
Uh, that's okay.
196
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,847
Uh, so, those pants
sure are, uh, tiny.
197
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:09,950
You want to put on
some, uh... more pants
198
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,485
and come on out
for some light cardio?
199
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:15,155
Cardio!
200
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,322
(giggles)
201
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,457
Sorry, Hank,
no time.
202
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,692
I'm moving on to biceps.
203
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:19,826
DIRK:
Yeah!
204
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,028
Time to feed
the pythons!
205
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,898
Oh, yeah, oh,
yeah, oh, yeah.
206
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,433
DIRK & GORILLA:
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
207
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,434
ALL FOUR:
Oh, yeah.
208
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,470
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
209
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:31,938
(grunting)
210
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,209
Hmm. I don't like
211
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,879
being around those scary
weight‐lifter guys.
212
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,647
They talk
in yelling.
213
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,048
Yeah, and they
look like
214
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,917
they're filled
with bowling balls.
215
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,185
They are freaks,
Hank.
216
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,354
I swear I saw a live chicken
go in that gym
217
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,890
that did not come out.
218
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,859
Look, I'm not gonna tell you
I enjoyed what I saw,
219
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,361
but the truth is,
they've got Bill working out,
220
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,730
and that's what's important.
221
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,665
We'll just have
to work around them.
222
00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,800
♪ Body, body ♪
223
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,535
♪ Wanna feel my body? ♪
224
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,069
♪ Wanna feel my body, baby? ♪
225
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,671
♪ Body, such a thrill my body ♪
226
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,406
♪ Such a thrill my body,
yeah, yeah ♪
227
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,842
♪ Body, wanna touch my body? ♪
228
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,144
♪ Talkin' 'bout my body, well ♪
229
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,079
(groaning)
230
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:17,350
♪ Every man wants to be
a macho, macho man ♪
231
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,521
♪ To have the kind of body
always in demand ♪
232
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:24,725
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! ♪
233
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,459
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
234
00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,394
♪ Macho man ♪
235
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,131
♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪
236
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:35,536
♪ I've got to be
a macho, macho man ♪
237
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:39,372
♪ I've got to be a macho
Ow! ♪
238
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,809
♪ Macho, macho man, yeah ♪
239
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,079
♪ I've got to be
a macho man ♪
240
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,981
(buzzing)
241
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,286
Hey!
242
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,454
Problem?
243
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,089
Uh... no, sir!
244
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,095
You know the military physical
245
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,497
is mostly running
on a treadmill, right?
246
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:05,832
Run?
247
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:08,268
These guns run from nothing.
248
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,238
Ew!
249
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,611
Your bulk is
so fierce.
250
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:20,681
Almost as
swole as mine.
251
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,215
Damn, it's
too bad
252
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,818
nobody else is here
to see this sweet rip.
253
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,019
Dude, I'm right here,
254
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,654
and I think
you're lookin' yolked.
255
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:31,157
I know, but I'm talking
about small people.
256
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,663
(Bill and Dirk straining)
257
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,932
(straining)
258
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:44,004
(loud grunting)
259
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,071
Huh.
260
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,440
We need to make
some rules.
261
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,779
Hey, Bill, uh,
you got a second?
262
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,380
(grunting)
263
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,417
(others grunting along)
264
00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,020
Uh, Bill?
265
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,454
(grunting)
266
00:12:01,522 --> 00:12:02,923
What's on your mind?
267
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,658
Uh, the thing is,
268
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,660
the atmosphere has changed
around here,
269
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,261
and people aren't really
comfortable
270
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,063
using the gym anymore.
271
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,799
There's nothing comfortable
about getting shredded, Hank.
272
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,067
What you're not
273
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,236
comfortable with
is hard work and pain.
274
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,404
That's 'cause
all you people are lazy.
275
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,540
Now, hold on.
276
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,974
Prove me wrong,
Little Man.
277
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,442
Why don't
you hit
the bench?
278
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:25,478
I'm not getting on
the got‐dang bench, Bill.
279
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:26,980
Quit being a jackass.
280
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,448
I'll tell you what.
281
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:32,653
Why don't you smurfs start
your own gym across the way?
282
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,755
These look about your size.
283
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,290
(laughter)
284
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,491
You're a jerk, Bill.
285
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:39,693
Just forget it.
286
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,762
You can keep
your weights.
287
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,730
Don't take
it personal.
288
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,099
He's just jealous
of your juicy rip.
289
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,371
(laughing)
290
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,554
They're just weak.
291
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,189
They want this body!
292
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,724
Want this power!
293
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,459
Want this pump!
294
00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:15,562
I'll show 'em who's a jerk!
295
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,264
(grunting)
296
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,604
(loud, angry grunting)
297
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,339
Ow!
298
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,809
(weak groan)
299
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,445
(airy gasp)
300
00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:33,747
Ugh! Oh!
301
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,616
COACH:
All right, Diesel!
302
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,650
You need a spot?
303
00:13:36,717 --> 00:13:39,986
I... I need a... a doctor.
304
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,355
I pushed it... too hard.
305
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,824
This is great.
306
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,291
You've reached
the threshold!
307
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,160
It's the moment
when your entire body
308
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,462
is screaming at you to stop,
and you think
309
00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:51,497
there's a realistic chance
you might die.
310
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:52,966
I know it's a good workout
311
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,537
when blood vessels
in the back of my eyeballs pop!
312
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,372
No agony, no braggony.
313
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,074
Am I right?
314
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,643
Uh‐uh.
315
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,210
Diesel's
lost focus.
316
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,480
Guys, we're gonna
have to move in here
and keep him true.
317
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,150
(Bill gasps)
318
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,553
(weakly):
No more. No more!
319
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,656
You're gonna want
to sleep, but don't worry.
320
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,258
I won't let
that happen.
321
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:18,792
Yeah, but...
322
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,293
but I...
323
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,462
(airy whimpering)
324
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,270
ALL:
Push! Push! Push!
325
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,477
You look like you
need a protein fix.
326
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,483
"Look at me
eating eggs."
327
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,652
Show‐off.
328
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,455
(groaning)
329
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,126
All right!
330
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,828
Good stack and
rack, guys!
331
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,763
Wait, please.
332
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,298
Can I get a hand?
333
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,801
Nope, but if you can
get up by yourself,
334
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,669
you can sleep
in your own bed
335
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,070
and use your
own toilet.
336
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,172
We'll leave the thrash
metal on for motivation.
337
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,374
(loud, pounding,
thrashing metal playing)
338
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,577
Help!
339
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,412
Help!
340
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,782
(screaming):
Help!
341
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,584
(whimpers)
342
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:22,055
(whimpering)
343
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,593
DIRK:
George Washington, no mass.
344
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,494
Thomas Jefferson, no mass.
345
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:31,131
Freakin' Ben Franklin,
nomass.
346
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,433
That's why they won't
let Arnold be president.
347
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,668
They're jealous!
348
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,269
It ain't right!
349
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,539
ALL:
War!
350
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,073
GORILLA:
Yeah!
351
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,075
Three! Yeah, yeah!
352
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,377
Here comes Jack!
353
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,379
Yeah!
354
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,381
(music blaring)
355
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,385
(mumbling)
356
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,587
(phone ringing)
357
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:54,821
(music blaring on other end)
358
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:55,956
Uh, hello?
359
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,824
BILL:
Hank! Hank!
360
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:00,060
Ugh! It's 3:00
in the morning. Bill?
361
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,729
It's me! It's me Bill!
362
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:06,099
Ugh! Did you call just to let me
know you're working out?
363
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,500
Well, okay, I get it!
364
00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:08,702
No!
365
00:16:08,769 --> 00:16:11,505
(whimpers)
366
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,377
How much longer
till bedtime?
367
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,379
14 minutes.
368
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,447
Righteous.
369
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:25,118
(loud music playing)
370
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:37,330
(grunting)
371
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:40,100
(sighs)
372
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,602
(door opening)
373
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,107
All right, Diesel,
working the abs!
374
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,142
(turns music on)
But today's a pec day.
375
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,117
Hank, today is
Bill's Army physical;
376
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,953
Bobby, it's chicken and
dumplings for school lunch;
377
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,454
and I have
a pap smear.
378
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,790
I hate chicken
and dumplings.
379
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:04,891
I'll trade you, Mom.
380
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,159
Dang it.
381
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,762
I bet Bill forgot his
physical was today.
382
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:10,496
You gonna remind him, Dad?
383
00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:11,464
No, I'm not, Bobby.
384
00:17:11,532 --> 00:17:14,234
Mr. Dauterive is
no longer a friend,
385
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,570
he's just a pumped up,
annoying neighbor.
386
00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:19,840
I'm a little grossed out
by him, too, Dad,
387
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,175
but he was human once.
388
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:25,846
Well, I guess
I should remind him.
389
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,015
If he loses his job,
he'll have to sell his weights,
390
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,216
and then he'll come over here
391
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,053
and crush our appliances
for exercise.
392
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,921
(straining)
Can't do it.
393
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,523
Damn it, Diesel,
we haven't gotten
394
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:38,725
a good rep out of you
in two days!
395
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:39,860
We were
soft on him.
396
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,194
We let him down.
397
00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,499
Oh, God.
398
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:49,435
Bill, did you forget
you have your physical today?
399
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,672
Bill hasn't passed
our physical yet.
400
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,940
And that's the only one
that matters, right, Diesel?
401
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:56,442
(groans)
402
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,178
Right on!
Yeah, you heard him!
403
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,513
Are you okay, Bill?
404
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:00,947
Sure he's okay.
405
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,282
He's in the zone!
406
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,056
So I tell Minh,
407
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:13,059
I trade this six‐pack
for this six‐pack.
408
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,896
(laughing)
409
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,397
She threw me out.
410
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,699
Guys.
411
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,800
And Kahn.
412
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,934
Hello.
413
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,669
I'm worried about Bill.
414
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:23,637
You should be.
415
00:18:23,704 --> 00:18:25,205
You probably fall
somewhere between
416
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,108
a drumstick and a ham sandwich
to him these days.
417
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,343
He's hurt bad, and I think
those meatheads
418
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,845
are holding him captive.
419
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,615
I know, Boomhauer,
420
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,583
but what I just saw
was a glimpse of,
421
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:37,818
well, Bill.
422
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:41,087
I mean, the real Bill,
with all his fear and anguish
423
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,990
and self‐loathing,
and he looked hurt.
424
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,992
We need to get him to a doctor.
425
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,694
Push! Push! Push!
426
00:18:47,761 --> 00:18:49,495
Rock and roll!
427
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,565
(straining)
428
00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:59,205
Uh, hey, guys,
sorry to interrupt.
429
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:02,475
Uh, here's the thing:
We all admire your pump
430
00:19:02,543 --> 00:19:03,610
so much,
431
00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:07,313
we want you to help
swell our thick and such.
432
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,315
Right on, brothers.
433
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,450
I knew you'd come around.
434
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,852
Let's work on
those traps.
435
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:15,522
Actually, uh, maybe he should
help with my traps.
436
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,190
His are way bigger
than yours.
437
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,759
It's true.
Yeah, man, tell
you what, man.
438
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:19,926
Coach?!
439
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,027
Please.
440
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,428
His traps are
like speed bumps.
441
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,766
I've got a bus parked on
either side of my neck.
442
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:26,900
Speed bumps?!
443
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:30,904
(both straining)
444
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:32,573
Check it.
445
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,340
KAHN:
Actually, this one have
446
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,909
best physique
of all you guys.
447
00:19:35,976 --> 00:19:38,044
Whoa, yeah!
448
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,380
Dig it!
449
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,891
We're gonna get you
out of here, Bill.
450
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,192
Okay, let's
lift him up.
451
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:59,633
Man, dang ol',
maybe we do need to lift
452
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,903
some got dang ol' weights,
man, pump our thick, man.
453
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,843
So what's the
situation, Doctor?
454
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:11,044
Is he gonna
be okay?
455
00:20:11,111 --> 00:20:13,514
Well, it's incredible.
456
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,717
It's unlike anything
I've ever seen.
457
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,220
What are we looking at here?
458
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,488
I don't quite know
how to put this.
459
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:25,325
I mean, we don't even
have a term for it,
460
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,493
but your rectum ruptured,
461
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:30,831
and, well, your internal systems
462
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,767
became... external.
463
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,069
Oh, my God.
464
00:20:36,136 --> 00:20:37,704
I know, it's amazing!
465
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:39,973
The pain must have
been unbearable!
466
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,342
Oh, sorry.
467
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:48,749
I can't work out
for six months.
468
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,817
My muscles will be
gone by then.
469
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:52,653
Well, you looked
better without them.
470
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:56,256
And, hey, at least your physical
was postponed until you recover.
471
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,658
Yeah.
472
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,059
Well, look at
it this way.
473
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,528
You've got a new goal:
dropping that extra weight.
474
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:05,265
Let's start with a really
killer walk to the mailbox.
475
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,001
How's that?
476
00:21:08,068 --> 00:21:10,604
You feel the burn?
477
00:21:10,671 --> 00:21:11,605
No.
478
00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,540
Perfect.
479
00:21:51,945 --> 00:21:54,848
GORILLA:
No agony, no braggony!
30079
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof