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1
00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:32,933
(slurps)
2
00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,234
Gentlemen,
3
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,170
do not be alarmed if you
hear any loud noises
4
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:40,073
coming from my property
over the next few days.
5
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,942
I'm just blowing stuff up.
6
00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:44,044
Look what I found
at the library!
7
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,112
"How to Blow Stuff Up."
8
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,514
You're making a bomb?
9
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,950
Several. I'm engaged
in an arms race
10
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,218
with an exterminator
in McMaynerberry.
11
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,788
You could get in a lot of
trouble for this, Dale.
12
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:58,058
I'm pretty sure the government
keeps track of books like that.
13
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,560
At least I hope they do.
14
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:03,597
You mean Rusty Shackleford
could get in a lot of trouble.
15
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,800
I have a library card
in his name. Sha‐sha!
16
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,870
(sighs):
Are you still pretending
to be that guy?
17
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,104
It's a victimless crime,
18
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,506
like eating grapes
at the supermarket.
19
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,810
Or stealing coupons from
Hank's Sunday newspaper...
20
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,712
Boomhauer.
21
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,349
I want you to all look
at the plate
22
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,985
in front of you‐‐
what do you see?
23
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:25,986
Steak!
24
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,521
That's right. Steak.
25
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:31,091
That's what you eat when you're
a member of Team Sizemore,
26
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:34,360
the number one Realtor
in Heimlich County.
27
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,297
But this month's top sellers
get something more.
28
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:39,700
They get to eat steak...
with me.
29
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,435
Oh, the view must be great
from up there.
30
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,437
And this month's
lucky diner is...
31
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,706
(quietly):
Peggy Hill!
32
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,541
Candi and Roger!
33
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,075
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
34
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:50,443
Damn it!
35
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,212
(laughs):
Come on, you two!
36
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,548
Bring your steaks on up here.
37
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,582
(applauding)
38
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,417
Ta‐ta!
39
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,888
It's easy to be
the top salesperson
40
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,323
when you sell
Arlen Heights.
41
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,858
Peggy is the real hero‐‐
42
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,928
trying to move those houses
in Belcher's Grove.
43
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,429
(chuckles)
CANDI:
Don't worry,
44
00:02:09,495 --> 00:02:10,997
you'll get here
one day,
45
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,566
one shack
at a time.
46
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,468
(Candi chuckling)
ROGER:
Oh! Ooh, ouch.
47
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,738
HANK:
Why do we have to watch
48
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,005
a foreign movie?
49
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,306
If it was any good,
50
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,208
they would've made
an American version.
51
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,611
Do you think
I am enjoying this? No.
52
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:28,448
But I need upscale clients
in places like Arlen Heights.
53
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,450
Wealthy people like culture.
54
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:33,887
Cultured people watch
foreign movies.
55
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,256
Something's happening!
56
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,059
(man on TV groans)
57
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,627
(sighs):
This is ridiculous.
58
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:41,828
Ridiculous?!
59
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,429
Are you kidding, Dad?
60
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,199
Colette is gonna
leave Etienne for Claude
61
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,969
because Etienne has malaise.
62
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,737
Malaise!
63
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,507
That guy just sprouted wings.
64
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,710
All right, that's it, Peggy,
I'm gonna have to ask you
65
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,612
to relinquish
the remote control.
66
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,681
Fine! I'll watch the rest
at Minh's.
67
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,850
I bet she likes foreign movies‐‐
she's a foreigner.
68
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,952
To her, it's just a movie.
69
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,021
TED:
Dinner was splendid.
70
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:11,257
I suppose it would
be appropriate for
us to reciprocate.
71
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:12,626
We're having a party
this weekend.
72
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,828
We'd love it if
you could make it.
73
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,263
Oh, we'll be there!
74
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,965
And then maybe this summer,
we come visit
75
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,333
at your beach house on the Gulf.
76
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,002
Uh... of course.
77
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,670
Well, let's set a date!
78
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,105
I get calendar.
79
00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:27,373
Please, do not
make this awkward.
80
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,142
(doorbell rings)
81
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,177
I'll get it.
82
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,547
Oh, it's the Wassonasongs.
83
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,415
(gasps):
Of Arlen Heights!
84
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,250
Well, how is life
in The Heights?
85
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:39,686
You know, I'm a Realtor‐‐
are you looking to sell?
86
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,355
Because I just watched
this wonderful French movie.
87
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,525
Actually, Ted and I
88
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,560
are thinking about
selling our house.
89
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,562
We're having a little
party this weekend.
90
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,797
You should come‐‐
we could talk more.
91
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,534
(gasps)
Make sure new guesthouse
has big room,
92
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,037
so I can drop off
present‐‐ me!
93
00:03:57,103 --> 00:04:00,507
(Dale humming a tune)
94
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:05,145
"Set the timer and retreat
to a safe distance."
95
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,647
'Kay.
96
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,992
Oh, my lucky hat!
97
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,331
(relieved sigh)
98
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,001
My smokes!
99
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,936
(explosion)
100
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,705
Thanks for the ride, Hank.
101
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,307
If I pass out before
we get to the hospital,
102
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,442
tell them my name
is Rusty Shackleford.
103
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,111
He's got great insurance‐‐
104
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:41,982
Medicaid.
This is the dumbest thing
you've ever done.
105
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,517
You could have lost a finger.
106
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:47,654
C‐Correction: Rusty Shackleford
could have lost a finger.
107
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,723
(sighs)
108
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,328
Hello. I'm Peggy Hill.
109
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,463
I'm a guest of the Wassonasongs.
110
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,332
You're on the list.
111
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,668
Welcome to Arlen Heights.
112
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:11,978
Peggy!
113
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,781
Come on in.
Oh, I'm not trying
to pressure you,
114
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,918
but I thought I'd bring
this sign in just in case.
115
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,994
(quietly):
Jackpot!
116
00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:32,098
Hi. Peggy Hill,
Sizemore Realty.
117
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,635
Hello. Peggy Hill,
Sizemore Realty.
118
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,770
MRS. WASSONASONG:
Take your seats, everybody.
119
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,739
The presentation
is about to begin.
120
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:39,740
Presentation?
121
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,642
That's right.
All the products you see
122
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,377
in this kitchen are made
by the Cozy Kitchen Company,
123
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:47,480
and I am your Cozy Kitchen
saleslady.
124
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,049
Hey, this not a party.
125
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,418
It's an ambush.
You think if we buy
fancy corkscrew,
126
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,420
we'll get invited
to beach house?
127
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,923
(chuckles quietly):
I know what I'm buying‐‐
128
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,160
a giant spatula
to flip this house.
129
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,028
(doorbell rings)
130
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,033
Dale Gribble?
131
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,002
Maybe. Who's asking?
132
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,804
Rusty Shackleford.
133
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,239
Du... Wha...?!
It's me, Dale.
134
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,575
But‐but that's impossible.
135
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,442
Rusty died in third grade.
136
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,178
I didn't die. I moved.
137
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:20,280
You need to stop using
my name, Dale.
138
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:21,815
I am not using your name.
139
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:22,916
And I am not Dale!
140
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,785
Come on, Dale,
you're smoking the same brand
141
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,953
of cigarettes you did
in the third grade.
142
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,891
Get off my property,
whoever I am!
143
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,561
(siren blaring)
144
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,664
Ta‐da!
145
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,266
Cozy Kitchen makes spaghetti
so authentic
146
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,202
you'll say, "Mama mia!"
147
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,637
(laughs)
148
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,273
(angry groan)
149
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,944
Now, let's mingle
and place orders.
150
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,048
One five‐bedroom colonial
with a side of multiple offers?
151
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,750
(both laugh)
152
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,119
Oh...
Peggy, you're a delight.
153
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,955
But I'm having second
thoughts about moving.
154
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,489
What? You can't.
155
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,859
This is my way
into Arlen Heights.
156
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,494
Is it the commission?
I'll cut it in half.
157
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,763
Oh, it's not the commission.
158
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,665
These people aren't
just my customers,
159
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,233
they've become my friends.
160
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,368
Who will take care of them?
161
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,003
I will‐‐ I will take over
162
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,540
as Cozy Kitchen
representative for you.
163
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,609
I will sell your house;
I'll even help you pack.
164
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,645
I am a full‐service Realtor.
165
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,614
Wow, Peggy, you sure are
making this easy for me.
166
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,717
But I need to talk to Ted first.
167
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,359
It's done. We're free.
168
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:40,627
Super.
169
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,763
(train whistle blows)
170
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,169
So wait, how is selling
kitchen appliances
171
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,871
gonna help you
sell houses?
172
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,339
Cozy Kitchen gets me
in the door,
173
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,176
then Peggy the Realtor
sells the house.
174
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,511
Look at all these free samples.
175
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:58,845
You see this can opener, Hank?
176
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:02,616
This is also a door opener.
177
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,720
Wow! A toaster
that only cooks hot dogs?
178
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,289
That's not a toaster, Bobby.
What is it?
179
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,892
A door opener!
180
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:12,693
Exactly!
181
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,360
And once I open enough doors,
182
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:15,862
I will be the top seller
183
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,599
eating steak at Chris's table.
184
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,369
What are you
doing here?
185
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,105
You're a long way
from Belcher's Grove.
186
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,707
Peggy, I've been wondering‐‐
in Belcher's,
187
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,810
do you count a couch on
the roof as a family room?
188
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:30,711
(laughs)
189
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:32,513
(chuckles):
Oh‐ho‐ho, sometimes.
190
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,882
But right now,
I'm visiting clients.
191
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,088
PEGGY:
Ta‐ta!
192
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,090
(doorbell rings)
193
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,225
Hi.
194
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,492
I am Peggy Hill,
195
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,229
member of Sizemore
Realty, and your new
196
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,631
Cozy Kitchen...
197
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,065
representative.
198
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,902
(shouts):
I'm leaving a free sample
and my card.
199
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,651
I‐I really need
to talk to Dale.
200
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,653
I'm trying to get
a small business loan,
201
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,655
but the bank thinks
I'm the same guy
202
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,891
who skipped town on a string
of failing alpaca farms.
203
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,193
Well, if we see him,
we'll give him the message.
204
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,095
I want to handle this
like gentlemen, but...
205
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,698
well, I'm not leaving town
until it's sorted out.
206
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,800
Nice meeting you!
207
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,537
Did you hear that?
208
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,838
He's not leaving.
209
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:32,906
(grunts)
210
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,708
He's gonna hunt me
like an animal
211
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,010
and kill me...
like an animal!
212
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,344
I was never here!
213
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,949
Could someone toss me
a beer.
214
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,320
Can I help you?
215
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:50,223
Hey there. I'm Judy Barnes,
Cozy Kitchen Corporate.
216
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:54,160
I just wanted to stop by
to welcome you in person.
217
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,696
It's fun, isn't it?
218
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,864
Well, I'm not getting
the warmest reaction,
219
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:01,367
and the free samples didn't
help out as much I expected.
220
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,104
That wasn't a sample kit, silly.
221
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,840
That was your first
inventory shipment.
222
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,075
Aw, well, potato, po‐tah‐to.
223
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,376
No. Potato.
224
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,246
You owe us money,
lots of money.
225
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:17,117
You probably don't realize how
threatening you're coming off,
226
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,585
even with the smile.
227
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,086
Peggy, bless your heart.
228
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,489
I don't think you understand
how deep you're in.
229
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:26,827
I suggest you read
your contract.
230
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,631
"No right to
arbitration...
231
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,933
serious financial
ramifications."
232
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,935
And it's not
just the starter kit!
233
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,937
I also have monthly quotas!
234
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,572
They've got me over a barrel.
235
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,273
This is just like
that time I had
236
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,809
to sell all those
candy bars for school.
237
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:47,147
Is there any way you can eat
your way out of this?
238
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,549
I'm afraid not, Bobby.
239
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,817
I need to get
those samples back.
240
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,895
Excuse me,
the gate isn't working.
241
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,797
We had to change
all the codes.
242
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,132
Some saleslady
was harassing people.
243
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,200
I see.
244
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,770
You know what
that guard shack needs?
245
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:11,838
A panini maker.
246
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,340
Please exit the Heights.
247
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,276
(horns honking)
248
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,222
What's all this?
249
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,490
Next month's product.
250
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,758
Your garage was locked.
251
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,827
I hope you don't mind,
we used a crow bar.
252
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,329
But I haven't sold
this month's product yet.
253
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,497
If I were you,
254
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,265
I'd quit arguing
and start selling...
255
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,236
because Cozy Kitchen is going
to get their money
256
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,470
one way or the other.
257
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,239
(engine cranking)
258
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,308
Love your roses!
259
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,115
Oh, hey, sug. What's up?
260
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,217
I came over
to apologize.
261
00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:01,021
I have been so busy selling Cozy
Kitchen to Arlen Heights,
262
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,123
I've completely
ignored my friends.
263
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,057
Here.
264
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,426
Just circle
what you want.
265
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,496
Okay, um...
266
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,799
Oh!
267
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,500
I'll take one
of these.
268
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,102
A vegetable peeler?
269
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,773
A $12 vegetable
peeler?!
270
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,608
Well, I don't need
anything else.
271
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:23,443
Who cares?!
How about a juicer?
272
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,645
A crepe pan?
273
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,012
Help me out.
I'm dying here!
274
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,514
You're hurtin' me, sug.
275
00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,915
(car door shuts)
276
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,643
(thump)
277
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:57,844
Peggy?
278
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,045
What are you doing?
279
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,247
I tried calling,
but you didn't answer.
280
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,017
Cozy Kitchen
is not going so well.
281
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,286
But it's okay,
I have the perfect solution:
282
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,689
Let's get this house
on the market, huh?
283
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,824
About the house,
Peggy.
284
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,225
It's just,
a...
285
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,827
a bad time of year
for us...
286
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,361
and, uh...
287
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,798
Oh, for goodness sake, Cindy,
look at her. Just tell her.
288
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:21,301
You're not planning
to sell the house, are you?
289
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,736
No.
290
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,104
I'm sorry.
291
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,807
I had to get out of my contract
and the only way
292
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,575
was to find
a replacement.
293
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,943
We did what we had to do.
294
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,112
We tried to disappear
from the face of the Earth
295
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,880
by holing up at
our beach house.
296
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,015
It's on an island!
297
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,683
They still found us.
298
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,284
They have motorboats, Peggy!
299
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,485
Motorboats.
300
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:40,887
CINDY:
You have no idea
301
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,756
what Cozy Kitchen
is capable of.
302
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:43,824
If you want out,
303
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,158
you have to find
a better way
304
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,492
to disappear
than we did.
305
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,361
Or find your own patsy.
306
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,800
LUANNE:
I'm going to be
a Cozy Kitchen representative.
307
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,336
Oh, thank you,
Aunt Peggy.
308
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,671
I'm gonna wear pink,
309
00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,039
and learn to cook and...
310
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:02,008
and, oh, God, oh, God,
I can't believe
311
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,744
I have this
great job!
312
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:04,978
You hear that, baby?
313
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,346
We're gonna be okay!
314
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,514
Stop!
315
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,049
I cannot let you do this.
316
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,752
But you promised.
317
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,419
I‐I'm sorry, Luanne.
318
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,221
It's a scam.
319
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,491
I want to sell Cozy Kitchen!
320
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,363
Come on.
321
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,231
One more leprechaun.
322
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,499
Dammit.
323
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:28,301
(doorbell rings)
324
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,577
(telephone rings)
325
00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:50,791
DALE:
Ow!
326
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,893
Shh!
327
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,165
(whispering):
What are you doing?
328
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,100
Hiding.
329
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,502
And you're blowing my cover!
330
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,903
This is my hedge.
331
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,037
Go find your own.
332
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,171
I was here first.
333
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,507
And Hank deeded
this hedge to me.
334
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,775
He didn't want you to
get it in the divorce.
335
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,176
Shh!
336
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,389
Dale?
337
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,525
Who are you...
338
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,659
Stifle, woman.
339
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:28,161
I think I hear
Shackleford's car.
340
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:32,799
Who's Shackleford?
341
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,668
The man whose identity I stole.
342
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:35,802
Who are you hiding from?
343
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:37,037
Cozy Kitchen.
344
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,705
The people who
made our vegetable peeler?
345
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,440
That thing's great!
346
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:49,182
All I wanted was
to sell a big house,
347
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,151
get to sit at Chris's
little table
348
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,953
and get some respect.
349
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,955
All I wanted was
a fall guy,
350
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,823
so I'd never have to take
responsibility
351
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:57,991
for my actions.
352
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,326
They're destroying
my realty career.
353
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,962
They're threatening
to take everything,
354
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,697
and I can't tell Hank about it.
355
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:05,298
I don't know where to turn.
356
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,132
Me neither.
357
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,433
There's no escape!
358
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,803
Maybe if I killed myself
he'd leave me alone.
359
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,005
While you're at it,
take me out, too.
360
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,709
Peggy, it would
be my pleasure.
361
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:17,711
A murder/suicide pact.
362
00:16:17,778 --> 00:16:19,112
That might work.
363
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:22,215
If Shackleford and Cozy Kitchen
think we're dead,
364
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,084
they'll stop looking for us.
365
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,852
Let's do it.
366
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,187
I'll pretend
to kill you
367
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,355
and then pretend to
take my own life.
368
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,423
Pretend?
369
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,693
Ah, well, I guess
I'm still in.
370
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:36,830
Okay, here's
the story.
371
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,599
We stole Bill's car.
372
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,733
That part's true.
373
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,401
Then we drove it
into the ravine.
374
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,003
And you think that's
really going
375
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,605
to convince people
we're dead?
376
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,572
How hard can it be?
377
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,541
Shackleford convinced me
he was dead
378
00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:49,075
in the third grade.
379
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:59,419
It appears Bill needs
to have his tires aligned.
380
00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:01,555
Run!
381
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:07,694
Hmm.
382
00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:12,032
Well, Bill's gonna need
a new seat.
383
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,269
After we throw the dummies
into the water,
384
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,404
we leave a suicide note
on the railing.
385
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,774
The swift current will tear
the dummies apart,
386
00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:22,743
and the cops won't find
a thing.
387
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,011
Well, then why throw the dummies
in the first place?
388
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,079
Who would even know?
389
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,380
We'd know.
390
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,049
Show a little pride, Peggy.
391
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,051
(garage door opening)
392
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,521
Oh, Hank. You're home early.
393
00:17:34,588 --> 00:17:35,922
Huh? No, I'm not.
394
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:37,924
What's going on
with those dummies?
395
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,192
Maybe this is good.
396
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,427
We could use a witness
to our fake deaths.
397
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,362
To your what?
398
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,665
Did I not mention this
to you?
399
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:48,201
HANK:
What the hellwere you thinking?
400
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,803
I was out of
options, Hank.
401
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:52,973
I couldn't sell a house to cover
the cost of the pots and pans.
402
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,641
If you have any better ideas
403
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:57,310
than murder‐suicide
I would love to hear them.
404
00:17:57,377 --> 00:18:01,247
Well, why don't you throw one
of those parties like Cindy did?
405
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,649
Yes! That's good!
406
00:18:02,716 --> 00:18:05,218
Then I could find a patsy
that I'm not related to!
407
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,253
No! Then you could
at least prove
408
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,990
to this Judy woman
that you're trying your best.
409
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,825
And then Judy
could tell corporate
410
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:13,594
what she sees at the party.
411
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,295
This could work, Hank.
412
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:19,800
Judy,
413
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,968
I'm so glad
you could make it.
414
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,204
I presume you have
a check for me.
415
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,807
We'll talk
after my presentation.
416
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,775
(doorbell rings)
417
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,310
DALE:
Coming.
418
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,214
Ha ha!
419
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,783
You'll never catch me,
Shackleford!
420
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,856
And thanks to my Cozy Kitchen
nonstick frying pan,
421
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,124
$49.99,
422
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,992
my eggs slide onto the plate.
423
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,894
(applause)
424
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,229
Help!
425
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,731
You gotta hide me!
426
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,966
Shackleford is on his way.
427
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,400
Dale,
if you are not here
428
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,003
to make a purchase,
I must ask you to leave.
429
00:18:57,070 --> 00:19:00,206
Ah, then I am taking
you as my hostage.
430
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,709
Ha!
No!
431
00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:04,077
Oh, Lord.
432
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:05,579
Ah!
Oh!
433
00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:06,713
Ahh!
Stop it!
434
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:07,848
Let go!
435
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,850
No!
Dale!
436
00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:16,623
That does it, Dale,
I will kill you!
437
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:20,026
If you kill me,
I'm taking you with me!
438
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:21,127
Oh, no you won't!
439
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:22,495
Yeah!
(grunting)
440
00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:26,667
PEGGY:
No, stop!
Sha‐shaw!
441
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,279
What the heck is going on?
442
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,748
We still have a chance.
443
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:44,184
Act like a ghost.
444
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,156
Wow.
445
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,925
This pan's amazing.
446
00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:53,627
I'm riddled with tiny shrapnel,
447
00:19:53,694 --> 00:19:55,796
but it doesn't
have a scratch on it.
448
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,697
Ooh.
Hmm.
449
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,632
I could make one
helluva flapjack
450
00:19:58,699 --> 00:19:59,700
with that honey.
451
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:03,069
Yep, Cozy Kitchen makes
a quality product,
452
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:04,204
I tell you what.
453
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,507
If it can survive
an explosion
454
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,108
imagine how it
will stand up
455
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,877
to the demands of
the modern kitchen.
456
00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:12,078
I'll take one.
457
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,614
Yeah, lemme have one
of those bad boys.
458
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,349
Yeah, me, too.
Do they come in other sizes?
If I sell
459
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,351
my entire inventory today
460
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,554
will you please let me out
of my contract?
461
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:21,588
No.
462
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,924
I'm never getting out, am I?
463
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,759
There might
be one way.
464
00:20:25,826 --> 00:20:29,796
If corporate thinks I died
in the explosion, too.
465
00:20:29,863 --> 00:20:31,832
Consider it done.
466
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:34,901
We need to settle this
467
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:37,337
whole identity theft issue
once and for all.
468
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,205
Oh, God, a gun.
469
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,841
Die like a man, Gribble.
470
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,075
Die like a man.
471
00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:44,978
Just sign these forms
so I can get on with my life.
472
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:52,385
Okay.
473
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,787
You know, Judy,
474
00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:56,356
you're going to need
to disappear for a while.
475
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,224
I know the perfect hideaway,
476
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,861
a sunny two‐bedroom
in Arlen Heights.
477
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:01,862
Really?
478
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,263
Mm‐hmm. Call me.
479
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,532
We'll set up a tour.
480
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:14,808
The view really
is beautiful from up here.
481
00:21:53,614 --> 00:21:56,517
They have motorboats,
Peggy.
Motorboats.
30730
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