Original subtitles

Invader Zim Tak: The Hideous New Girl s01e20 (s05e03_s05e04)

Subtitles: Ainee

No. No! No!!!

You'll pay for this one!

Class! Despite my moral outrage, the School Principal is allowing you

to celebrate Valentine's Day this year.

Go ahead! Pass out your Valentine's meat slabs. It's traditional.

I left my meat at home. Sorry, I sort of forgot it...

Get that out of my face!!!

Miss Bitters? I red that long ago people used to give out cards

and candy on Valentine's Day.

How did the whole "meat" thing get started?

You don't wanna know.

I had a Valentine once...

Another one?

To celebrate overcrowding in school, a new student will be joining the class.

Hi! My name's Tak.

I'm new here.

Hello Tak.

My dad's the head of delicious Weenie corporation.

That was his jet out there.

So I brought Valentine's Weenies for everyone!

Yay!!! Wieners!!!

Wieners rock!!!

Except that kid!

Weenies, Schmeenies! Zim needs no meat!

For him...

I have prepared a poem.

Looks like Zim has a girlfriend!

It's not nice to embarrass people.

You should apologize and... eat your eraser!

Yes, Tak. I am sorry, Zim.

"For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you.

Someone with a head like yours, and a torso too. Birds sing, and

you're gonna pay, the end!"

Here's some meat covered in barbecue sauce!

Thank you, Tak. That was horrible.

Now, you'll need a place to sit.

You! You're being transferred to the underground classroom.

And you! I'm just tired of you!

Ms. Bitters? Are there really underground classes?

(Zim: "Why does it hurt?!?!") Sure, whatever.

My Tallests, please excuse my appearance.

I mean no disrespect. A new... ("Dirt! Dirt!")

- No! You're not dirt! - Be quiet!

My Tallests, a new child attacked me with meat!

My conclusion: She's in love with me!

This may prove valuable, as I can use the child

to learn more about human affection!

...which, from what I have been able to determine, is pain-based.

That's great, Zim! Sounds great.

Don't worry, that's just my arms flailing and... giggling.

Stop it! Stop it!

And once I am done with the child, I will destroy her.

That should be neat!!!

Okay, Zim. Well, we have another call!

Hey! We really do have another call.

No, it's just that I'm not used to people actually being interested

in my paranormal studies. As for Zim, well...

I have come to accept your feelings for me,

I congratulate you for acknowledging my

superiority in choosing me as your love-pig...

Feel honored!!!!

Maybe you really are an alien, like Dib says.

A horribly disguised, disgusting, horrible one.

Nonsense! Despite his huge head, the Dib monkey is quite stupid.

My head's not big!

Now prepare your brain, filthy beast of meat and hair.

Your magical love adventure begins now!!!

You're on fire!

Am I?

Ah, well.

GIR, I feel I now know enough about human affection.

I hate it! Especially the part with the beans!

Our friend Tak is no longer useful to me.

Okay...

Tak! I'm glad you stopped by. It gives me a chance to end

our hideous relationship. And enjoy your shrill cry

of having been rejected by Zim!

You have got to be kidding.

I assure you I am very serious.

Now cry! Cry like you've never cried ...before.

Wha...You! You're Irken!

What is this?!?!

You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined.

Eh?!

You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined.

Eh?!

You're confused. Allow me to explain.

It was fifty years ago,

on the Irken military training planet, Devastis.

I had been waiting years to take my final test

to become one of the Irken elite soldiers

and should the need arise... to be one of the invaders.

No!!! No!!!

Somebody!!! Help me!!!

The door is stuck! I'll miss my fin...

Snack!

Help!

You blew the power block for that entire half of the planet,

but the testing went on uninterrupted on the other side.

I pleaded with the control brain to let me take the test,

but she said I would have to wait another seventy years.

I was placed on a janitorial squad,

and then sent to planet Dirt! I escaped and I began my long

search for the mysterious person who caused the blackout,

and ruined my life!!!

I eventually tracked you to this horrible place

and took that rich weenie-human as my false father...

Yes, yes, so you're blaming me for your

horrible life, bla, bla, big deal!

This is about taking your mission, Zim! Not revenge!

- You're after revenge? - No! It's not about revenge!

It is about taking what is rightfully mine.

I should have been an invader!

I should have been part of the Great Assigning!

I didn't have to be stealing this planet from you!

You're after my robot bee!

No!!! Listen to me. Listen carefully!

I'm a better invader than you could ever be.

I blend in perfectly.

The plan I have in store for this nasty rock

will so impress the Tallests, that they'll have no choice

but to make me an invader.

What is this?! And what is this plan?

Yes, yes, I'm a master of comedy. Now, tell me this plan.

Part one involves crippling your base so that you can only watch...

as I ruin your life!!!

My beautiful base!

- Part two is... - No!!!

My beautiful base!!! No!!!

- Part two is... - No!!!

- My beautiful base! No!!! - Part two is...

- No!!! - Part...

- No!!! - Okay, I'm...

No!!!

Okay, I'm leaving now.

But you didn't tell me your plan.

No!!!

What a horrible adventure with that ham demon.

But, I've made no progress in figuring out what Tak's plan is.

The base is still repairing itself, and the only other person

with the facilities to...

No! I won't even consider it!

But, that's just the way it worked out.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Zim?!

Good morning, son. Your little foreign friend is here to see you.

Dad, that's the alien! The alien!

Of course he is. You two have fun.

- What's going on, Zim?! - It seems the enemies

have a common enemy: Tak.

She's Irken and she's after my job and your planet.

Oh, come on. I like Tak, and she hates you.

- You're just jealous of... - This has nothing to do with jelly!

I've been trying to figure out her plan but it's been difficult.

She's good. Not good like me, but still good.

- This is just stupid. - Forty-eight hours of trailing Tak

and all I could come up with are these photos

I wrestled off that ham demon.

They're of a giant evil weenie stand her father has constructed.

But that's nothing.

Giant weenie stand is weird, but it doesn't say anything about Tak.

Giant weenie stand, that's worth a look.

I knew this was a bad idea. She'll destroy your world!

I can't believe you're even saying this!

Your voices are making me sick.

And when the Earth is a smoking ruin you'll wish it had been me who did it.

It burns! It burns!

Thanks, Gaz. He was really...

Deelishus Weenie!!

Hi!

What'll it be...?

Be quiet. I wanted to let you know that my brother is trying

to break into this building through some secret entrance.

We have chili beans.

I just though it'd be kinda funny to see him get beaten up by security.

You know, I don't think there is a secret entrance.

I work here and this is all I've seen.

This place is kind of big for a hot dog stand, don't you think?

Now that I think of it...

There is that secret entrance around back where they deliver

all that alien-looking machinery.

Oh, man! What is this place?

It's a hot dog stand.

Gaz? How did you get...?

No pictures, please.

Tak? What... um, look, I can explain.

No need. In a second you won't even remember having seen any of this.

You must be smarter than the rest of them.

Let's see about your sister.

You're behind this?

No, he is!

Or at least, his resources. I only let him out when I need

to keep up appearances, kind of like Zim's robot parents,

only good.

You can't do this! People will know something's up.

I mean, look at this place. It's enormous!

The great thing about your people, Dib,

is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless

corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest.

Wait, is there really a difference?

It's over, Tak! The Earth is mine to devastate!

And I already promised the moon to GIR.

Zim! How did you know we'd be here?

I placed a tracking device on you.

Tracking device? Where?

Your head smells like a puppy!

This won't stop me from keeping my promise

to the Tallests. Mimi, attack!!!

Mimi, cool it...!

You ruined everything, Zim! I was about to find out what her plan was.

Me?! You're the one who refused to...

Hey, what's this thing?

That's a SIR unit's memory disk.

It probably has Tak's plan all over it.

No way, it's ours! Back off!

I'm the only one here with the technology to decode the files.

And we're the only ones here with the files to be decoded.

And I'm... hehe, I don't know.

Your base, our disk, Zim. Let us see the base.

As soon as we destroy Tak, I'm gonna feed your brains to my robot.

- Deal. - Yay, brains!

This is your base?

Don't touch anything or I'll... melt your face off or something.

My leaders, I offer a gift to prove my worthiness as an invader.

I have created a magma pump to hollow out the Earth's molten core.

I could do that.

Once empty I'll fill the planet with snacks as an offering to my Tallests.

Your leaders are just taller than everyone else?

You never considered Earth valuable at all,

but I shall make it valuable.

- She stole this plan from me! - No, she didn't!

Be quiet!

It's starting.

- Computer! - What...?

Ready the voot. I must stop Tak.

Her little joke has gone far enough.

Wait, you have to drop me off at the weenie stand!

Someone has to shut the pump off.

Are there any video games around here?

No, not really.

I guess I'll help save the Earth, then.

Deelishus Weenie!!!

There!

How do you shut this thing off?

So, this should work.

If Tak's SIR unit is within range of it's memory disk

it can be controlled through a remote host.

We can remote-control it. Okay, you, do things.

Make Tak's robot crazy.

Only if you dance with me.

No, never. Never!

Oh, come on.

Give up, Zim! I built this ship myself.

What're you doing?!

Mimi!

Stop!

No!!! Stop!!! Mimi!!!

You're a worse pilot than I am! Wait.

How did I miss that?

No one takes Zim's mission. No one!

I don't know how you did it, Zim.

You're not even an invader, you know?

The Tallests lied to you. Your mission is all a big lie!

I'll come back and...

Okay.

Tak's plan was ruined. The humans helped out,

but they were hypnotized by... me... into doing so!

You should have heard the lies she told about you.

Well, all that matters is that Tak's evil snack plan was stopped.

- Hey, I like snacks! - He likes snacks, Zim.

I know you do. I know.

Meow.

Look at it, Gaz. We've only seen

what's come to us from up there.

Don't you wanna just fly up there and see it all?

Subtitles: Ainee