Original subtitles

Invader Zim Mysterious Mysteries S01E15A (S04E01)

Subtitles: Ainee

And, like the alien said: "Go to the Blotch, the Blotch knows."

So I, like, left my husband and came out here to commune with the Blotch!

The Blotch knows! The Blotch knows!

What exactly does "the Blotch" know?

The future...? I dunno. It's really hard to make out, you know?

Yeah, he does that sometimes.

Hey, got bad news: you're fired!

Gotcha! No, you're not fired.

But you will be unless you liven up the show!

Submissions for next week's show!

There has to be something good here.

An unusually fat baby? No.

Angry mutant beef jerky... No!

It's hopeless!

Well, there's always that stuff that crazy Dib kid keeps sending in.

No! No!! Not after what happened that last time.

"Pigfoot"?! This is ridiculous!

It's got to be better than Pigfoot.

Get the van! I think we got something.

Now, harder-hitting... faster-paced...

...and even more... mysterious!

Are we alone in the universe?

Tonight we'll show you some intriguing video that may just

answer that vexing question!

Look, Gaz! You're my witness! He is an alien!

I have him on tape! I have you on tape witnessing it!

Thanks to a horribly large-headed boy named Dib,

we have a new piece in the puzzle that is

the search for alien life! I set out to investigate.

Kids play without fear in the streets of this humble hamlet.

In fact, it's the kind of place where you don't even have to lock the door.

Who are you?! Get out of my house!

You're here! I knew one day you'd come. I knew it!

Young Dib has been chronicling the paranormal

nearly all of his brief life.

So, when a green kid claiming to be a human boy with a skin condition

entered his classroom, he says, he was prepared.

Look at him! He's so... green!

Help us. Clear up, what happened that night.

I was monitoring some of the higher-frequency radio waves

when I picked up on an alien distress signal!

So I went out with Gaz. She's kinda my sidekick.

We are close now. I feel it in my brain.

Golly! What is that?!

Stay back, Gaz!

Look, Gaz! You are my witness! He is an alien!

I him on tape! I have you on tape witnessing it!

He tried to wrestle the video away from me, but I was

too much for him.

Dib! The glow!

Aliens. That's quite a claim. Are you prepared to defend it?

I think my video speaks for itself.

This young man denies your accusation!

What's he doing here?! He's the alien!

I came to put a stop to all your alien talk.

When will the lies end?!

Well, Zim. I guess, my first question is,

are you an alien?

Lies!!! The filthy Earth boy lies!!!

- I mean, no. - Well, what about the video?

I was out playing like any normal Earth larva, when

he came looking for trouble.

Hey new kid! Give me your lunch moneys!

But I need these moneys to buy nutrients.

Give me the moneys or I'll tell everyone you're an alien!

Leave me alone! I just want to play.

Fine. Look, Gaz! You are my witness. He is an alien!

I have him on tape! I have you on tape witnessing it!

- That didn't happen! - He lies!!!

Calm down you two!

- You'll never get away with this! - Silence, you tiny brain... head!

What about that glowing thing?! Look at it! That's no human glow!

We asked an expert.

Possibly a weather baloon. Or swamp gas.

Swamp gas?

He is crazy! Ask anyone in our class.

Dib... yeah.. he is pretty crazy.

He told me my daddy was a Yeti.

My daddy's not a Yeti! He is not a Yeti!!!

- What's up with his head? - Well, Dib. I guess the question

for you is: Are you crazy?!

Of course they say I'm crazy. That's what they always say about visionaries.

What's he doing? What are you doing?!

- Calling your space friends?! - Nonsens! It's my medication.

Come on, boys! This is national TV.

Some peoples' jobs are on the line.

This is insane! You've got to talk to my sister!

She saw the whole thing!

Zim: Tormented child with a skin condition or scheming

demon from the stars? Dib: Misunderstood visionary

or raving lunatic? Perhaps only this little girl knows...

- Excuse me... - Go away!

I wanted to ask you a few questions about your brother.

Maybe you can set us straight on the whole craziness issue.

Gaz, after what you saw, do you believe that your brother

got proof of intelligent extraterrestrial life?

Intelligent? No. My stupid brother did drag me out to look for stupid

Zim. He didn't make that part up.

S-shiny...!

Look, Gaz! You're my witness! He is an alien!

I have him on tape! I have you on tape witnessing it!

It looks like we'll never know what really happened that night.

I'd like to thank you all for watching what will almost

certainly be the final episode of Mysterious Mysteries.

It seems we have a surprise witness who was there

and claims to know the truth.

But he works for the alien!

Restrain him!

Now, what can you tell us about Dib?

Dib's all mean to my master. He not nice to Zim.

I've seen it. Dib is bad.

And about the night in question?

I was a chubby lady hiding in the bushes.

- And what about Dib? - I'm on TV!

Yes. Then what happened?

That's when the giant squirrel showed up.

- GIR! - Let her talk!

Can't you see she's upset?

Now. Don't you mean Dib showed up?

No! The squirrel showed up first, then Dib showed up.

Man! What is that thing?!

And then the squirel ate Dib's greasy head.

And then the squirrel flew away.

After that, he went back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys.

What does that have to do with anything?!

Me and the squirrel are friends.

I'm so fired. W-well, the only conclusion I can come to is

that Dib is crazy.

This one here: definitely crazy. I feel bad for the ugly green kid,

but there's a decent chance, he's crazy too.

- But not an alien. - No.

- Okay. - Just crazy.

Nothing matters anymore! Maybe I'm crazy!

Crazy!

We're so cancelled.

I think this is the best work you've done. Crazy gets

good ratings. Give me more like it!

Subtitles: Ainee