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Invader Zim
Battle of the Planets
s01e13 (s03e07_s03e08)
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Subtitles: Ainee
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Welcome, planetary
conversion team!
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Welcome to Blorch, the latest
edition to the Irken empire
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and most importantly the first planet
to fall victim to our latest effort at
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universal conquest: Operation
Impending Doom 2!
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00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,319
Almighty Tallest rocks!
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00:02:06,813 --> 00:02:10,813
Now, we erase the remaining
organics on Blorch,
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paving the way for... I dunno, maybe
a... parking structure planet?
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Yeah! Parking
structure planet!
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00:02:17,813 --> 00:02:21,813
But first, we'd like to acknowledge
the contribution of one very special
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soldier, without whom this
victory and those surely to come
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00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,813
wouldn't be possible!
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Invader Zim!
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You see, if Zim hadn't been exiled
to the far reaches of the galaxy,
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he would be here, with us,
ruining everything!
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00:02:37,313 --> 00:02:40,313
And we all remember how he messed
up Operation Impending Doom 1!
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Am I right?
- I don't...
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Seize that guy! And uh...
throw him out the airlock!
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That was the wrong guy,
but... that's okay!
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I think everyone gets the point, hm?
- So let's give a big cheer for...
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...Invader Zim,
for being so far away!
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00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:02,605
Invader Zim rocks!
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00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:06,867
Quiet everybody, quiet! We
have a little surprise for you.
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00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:09,867
It looks like we're getting a
report from Zim right now!
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Transfer to the main viewscreen!
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Well, thank you! How
very well deserved of me!
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Invader Zim
reporting in, sirs.
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Yes... Greetings, Zim!
Keeping busy, it looks like...
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...doing us proud!
- Thank you, thank you.
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Yes, yes I am.
I'm in a bear suit!
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Please, enough! Following
Invader Protocol, I've sent
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probes out to the surrounding planets
to check them for potential use.
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Scans from a planet named "Mars"
are intriguing. You can expect a full
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report when I have
more information.
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Thank you... Invader Zim!
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Without your efforts out there,
the entire operation would...
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Yes, yes it would.
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Let's hear it for Zim!
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Idiot.
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Trully I am amazing.
How can they not cheer
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00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:04,986
the very site of my progress?
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00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:10,623
Still, I am becoming impatient
with my incredibly subtle
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infiltration of this planet, and
am growing ever hungrier to be
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the destruction of the humans.
Destruction is nice!
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All ranged space probes
have returned.
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Excellent timing!
Begin data download.
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Accessing data from Mars Probes.
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00:04:57,367 --> 00:05:00,367
Some of this landscape looks
unnatural... as though nature was
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not involved in its formation. But
the sensors show no life forms.
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00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:08,167
Whatever wiped out these "Mars-oids"
must have truly been incredible.
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Incredible enough maybe to assist
in my annihilation of the humans?
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GIR?!
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GIR!
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GIR! Meet me in
the lodge hangar!
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I gotta go pig.
I'll see ya later!
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I gotta go pig.
I'll see ya later!
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We're going to Mars!
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Are we there yet?
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00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,012
The camera stations have been
there for years, Agent Darkbootie.
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00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:51,012
But when they didn't find
any life after the first week
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NASAplace gave up on them.
But I haven't. Look what I found.
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This is what one of the
camera stations looks like.
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This one was taken a couple
of nights ago. Look up here.
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NASAplace says this
is a thumbprint.
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00:06:02,012 --> 00:06:04,012
That is no thumbprint!
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00:06:04,942 --> 00:06:07,942
You've done well, Agent
Mothman. But the Swollen Eyeball
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00:06:07,942 --> 00:06:10,442
needs conclusive evidence
before finding anything
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00:06:10,442 --> 00:06:12,442
that's confirmed alien activity.
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00:06:12,442 --> 00:06:15,942
Let me know if you find more.
Darkbootie out.
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00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:31,156
Get off my head, GIR.
I have a good feeling
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about this lead. I can almost
taste the humans being destroyed.
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It's delicious! This 'Mars' holds
the key. I just know it!
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00:06:37,156 --> 00:06:39,856
New words of praise will have to
be invented so they can pre...
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Get off my head!
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The taste of impending
human annihilation grows
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stronger in my 'amazing' head.
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00:07:02,302 --> 00:07:06,802
Now, lets find out what destroyed
the people who built this ugly thing.
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00:07:10,158 --> 00:07:11,658
It's broken.
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00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:19,565
Dad! As a man of science
you at least have to admit
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00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:23,365
that this picture shows something
freaky and of some spooky alien origin.
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00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:26,165
I'll say it again. Those stations
haven't been monitored for
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one simple reason.
There are no aliens.
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00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,865
None able to travel to massive
distance to our planet anyhow.
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00:07:31,865 --> 00:07:33,865
You've been watching those
transmissions since you were
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00:07:33,865 --> 00:07:36,665
a baby with an enormous head.
It's time to move on, son.
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Real science.
Try it!
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What was that?
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GIR, come here!
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Zim!
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This is pointless, GIR!
This planet's a rock!
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00:08:01,365 --> 00:08:02,865
A useless wasteland.
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00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:06,165
Whoever they were they left
no sign of what wiped them out.
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00:08:06,165 --> 00:08:08,865
They just left these stupid
structures here to taunt me.
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00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:11,365
I hate them!
And I hope they d...!
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00:08:11,865 --> 00:08:14,365
- Yeah.
- I can see up his nose.
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This means more time on
earth with a stench of humanity.
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Filthy humans!
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00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,665
What is that sound?
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00:08:24,849 --> 00:08:27,849
GIR!
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00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,811
Dad! Gaz!
Come see this!
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00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:46,811
- Please. No more foolishness, son!
- Your voice is stupid!
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00:09:14,323 --> 00:09:16,823
Welcome pilot!
How ya doin'?
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00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,823
Who are you?
What is all this?
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I am all that is left of my people,
an interactive instruction manual
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for the incredible vassel
you are now affilament.
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00:09:25,823 --> 00:09:28,323
Your people were
instruction manuals?
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- Vessel? This thing's a ship?
- My people work themselves
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00:09:32,431 --> 00:09:35,431
into extinction converting our
planet into a navigall space vessel.
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00:09:35,431 --> 00:09:39,431
Using similar technology tested
and proven on another, nearby planet.
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00:09:39,431 --> 00:09:42,931
- What other planet?
- That's not important right now.
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00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:46,231
- Another planet?
- Why would you do all that?
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Because it's cool.
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00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:10,041
The Invader behind this
important first victory is...
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Invader... Skoodge?
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00:10:22,815 --> 00:10:25,315
This can't be right! That
can not be the poster boy
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for Irken galactic conquest!
He's so... short!
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00:10:29,815 --> 00:10:32,815
And ugly. I mean,
look at him.
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00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:39,238
Greetings, my Tallest! As the invader
responsible for this planet's downfall,
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00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,238
I get to launch the traditional
final cannon sweep. Right?
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00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,038
- Yeah...
- So that no Irken foot has
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to come into contact with
any unsafe or alien filth!
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00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:49,738
Yeah. Well, there's
a new tradition now.
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00:10:49,738 --> 00:10:52,538
- Man, you're ugly.
- And short.
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00:10:52,538 --> 00:10:55,038
The new tradition is that
you get to be launched
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as part of the cannon sweep!
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00:11:01,096 --> 00:11:04,096
That's right.
In you go.
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Commence organic sweep!
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00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:14,020
You! Your name is now
Skoodge, conquerer of Blorch.
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00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:29,096
Remember... the time
Zim called us, and he was...
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00:11:29,096 --> 00:11:31,596
he was covered from
head to foot in meat?
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00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:34,596
Yeah, the meat ended
up fusing to his flesh and...
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00:11:34,596 --> 00:11:37,596
and he almost went blind
when it invaded his eye sockets!?
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00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,866
- Meat!
- Meat!
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00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:47,094
It's Zim, it's him.
Hold on, hold on.
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00:11:51,249 --> 00:11:52,249
Shh! Stop it!
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Greetings, Tallests! I bring more
evidence of my unbelievable skills.
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00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,749
- More evidence?
- Yes! I've made an exciting
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00:11:59,749 --> 00:12:03,449
discovery. The planet Mars is
actually a giant spaceship
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00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:06,749
built by floating heads.
I am going to fly it to Earth
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00:12:06,749 --> 00:12:09,949
where I will roll it around on the
surface, squishing all the Earth life
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00:12:09,949 --> 00:12:12,949
and leaving it free for us to
conquer without resistance.
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Prepare the fleets, for I will be
firing the first falling of Earth's
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organic sweep tomorrow!
Invader Zim signing off!
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00:12:27,387 --> 00:12:30,387
I have to stop him!
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00:12:32,276 --> 00:12:34,276
Where are you
going at this hour?
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00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:35,776
You know...
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00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:38,776
- To save the Earth?
- Yes.
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00:12:38,776 --> 00:12:40,776
My poor insane son.
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00:12:42,615 --> 00:12:46,615
Dooropenoritstheen
doftheworldweregonnadurr...
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00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:50,647
Was that the...
crazy ... UFO kid?
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00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:51,947
Yep.
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00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:06,295
- Oh no, Dib.
- I know what you're gonna say,
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00:13:06,295 --> 00:13:08,595
but you have to believe me
this time! Mars is a giant
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00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:10,595
spaceship and it's being
piloted by an alien...
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00:13:10,595 --> 00:13:13,095
Is this that... Zig you
always talk about?
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00:13:13,574 --> 00:13:16,574
Zim! He's activated the face
on Mars and now he's flying
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00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:18,574
the whole planet
like some horrible...
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00:13:18,574 --> 00:13:21,574
Wow, this sounds really
stupid. Doesn't it?
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00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,353
Anyhow, the floating head said
that there was another planet
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00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:28,153
and that they modified it
with giant engines.
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00:13:28,153 --> 00:13:31,153
- We have to find out which one!
- Alright, let me get this straight....
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00:13:31,153 --> 00:13:36,653
- He's flying... What's he flying?
- There, look! You can see him
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00:13:36,653 --> 00:13:38,853
on the Martian camera feeds!
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00:13:38,853 --> 00:13:40,853
Sorry, kid. Since they got
the funding we're not even
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00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,053
allowed to look at
those monitors.
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00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:49,633
It's... I think it's
an asteroid!
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00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:53,133
It's huge! And it's
heading straight for us!!!
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00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:56,133
It's Zim! Just look
at the screens!
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00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:59,433
Okay. Do we have to go through
the whole "funding" thing again?
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00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:13,431
People of Earth, prepare to taste
the mighty foot of my planet!
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00:14:20,853 --> 00:14:24,353
I'm Zim, I'm
squishing out all life!
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00:14:37,156 --> 00:14:40,156
I believe you. I think
I can help you.
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00:14:40,156 --> 00:14:41,856
What're you gonna do?
Clean me?
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00:14:41,856 --> 00:14:44,356
The other planet you mentioned,
the one you said was also fitted
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00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:48,156
with the giant engines?
It can only be Mercury!
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00:14:51,093 --> 00:14:54,793
There! The butt on Mercury!
A lesser known structure
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00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:58,293
than the face on Mars, but
one just as mysterious.
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00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:01,793
Yes! That's it. Now,
how do I get to the butt?
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00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:08,043
- What is it?
- It's an old monkey ship
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00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:11,043
from back in the days when they
used to shoot monkeys into space.
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00:15:13,356 --> 00:15:16,856
- You can still smell the monkey.
- Does it still work?
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00:15:16,856 --> 00:15:19,356
I've done all the
repairs myself.
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00:15:19,356 --> 00:15:22,856
Why would you help me?
Nobody ever helps me.
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00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:26,356
Lets just say... my
eyes are swollen.
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00:15:26,356 --> 00:15:28,356
Agent Darkbootie?!?
187
00:16:20,528 --> 00:16:23,528
This is taking too long!
I told the Tallest to bring
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00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:26,528
the fleet tomorrow! At this rate
we won't be done with our
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00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:29,528
destroying by then! There
must be some boosters...
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00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:33,028
Here! Hold onto something, GIR!
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00:16:58,806 --> 00:17:02,806
That sounded like...
No. It couldn't be.
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00:17:17,797 --> 00:17:20,797
We're all doomed!
Doomed!
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00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:33,452
Hey! We're all doomed,
remember?
194
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:50,565
Now! Slowing to
squishing speed!
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00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:52,582
Not while I'm around, Zim!
Don't tell me you actually
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00:18:52,582 --> 00:18:57,582
thought you'd win this!
- You horrible interfering Dib!
197
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,772
Taste the mighty
doom of my moons!
198
00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:59,177
You shouldn't have interfered
with a superior force, Dib.
199
00:19:59,177 --> 00:20:01,377
You'd have been better off just
staying on your planet and getting
200
00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:03,177
squished just like
everybody else.
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00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:05,377
Well, you shouldn't have
bothered coming to Earth,
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00:20:05,377 --> 00:20:07,877
because I'll stop you at every turn.
203
00:21:00,323 --> 00:21:03,323
GIR! Go take care
of the Earth-boy.
204
00:21:06,923 --> 00:21:09,423
What's this do?
What's that do?
205
00:21:09,923 --> 00:21:14,923
What's this do?
What's that do?...
206
00:21:19,537 --> 00:21:23,037
Maybe that little robot isn't
such a bad evil minion after all.
207
00:21:23,037 --> 00:21:26,037
What's that dooo?
208
00:21:26,794 --> 00:21:28,294
Hey! Go away!
209
00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:29,794
Okey-dokey!
210
00:21:51,752 --> 00:21:54,252
Let's see if you have the
piloting skills to maneuver
211
00:21:54,252 --> 00:21:57,252
through the asteroid belt,
feeble Dib thing!
212
00:22:02,205 --> 00:22:04,205
That's just stupid.
213
00:22:04,205 --> 00:22:07,205
Look at that cowardly human!
We'll see who's stupid when...
214
00:22:31,357 --> 00:22:33,857
You might as well head back
to your home planet, Zim.
215
00:22:33,857 --> 00:22:37,357
I've recorded this whole thing.
Irrefutable proof of your existence.
216
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,557
There's no way you can...
217
00:22:39,557 --> 00:22:44,557
That little robot!
He took my cameras! No!
218
00:22:48,205 --> 00:22:50,505
It's Zim.
Are you ready for this?
219
00:22:50,505 --> 00:22:53,005
I...I just started breathing
again from the last one.
220
00:22:53,689 --> 00:22:55,889
Mission accomplished,
my Tallest. I have rid
221
00:22:55,889 --> 00:22:58,889
this solar system
of planet Mars.
222
00:22:58,889 --> 00:23:00,889
I thought you were
trying to destroy the Earth.
223
00:23:00,889 --> 00:23:04,889
Oh yes... that...
You heard wrong.
224
00:23:04,889 --> 00:23:06,889
This time I was trying to
get rid of Mars. You know,
225
00:23:06,889 --> 00:23:09,389
just a little warm-up before
I destroy the humans.
226
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:12,389
Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next. I'm
an unstoppable death machine,
227
00:23:12,389 --> 00:23:15,389
you know. Well,
Invader Zim, signing off.
228
00:23:20,310 --> 00:23:22,310
Unstoppable death machine!
229
00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:24,110
Did he say, "unstoppable death machine"?
230
00:23:24,110 --> 00:23:26,610
He needs a little warm-up!
231
00:23:26,610 --> 00:23:28,610
A warm-up, a warm-up.
232
00:23:29,923 --> 00:23:32,923
Please, please, did he say,
"unstoppable death machine?"
233
00:23:40,125 --> 00:23:43,125
Subtitles: Ainee
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I'm in a bear suit!
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