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Invader Zim
Door to Door
s01e11A (s03e03)
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00:00:44,225 --> 00:00:47,225
Subtitles: Ainee and Andy
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00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:52,069
Then!
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00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:55,119
Add a card to represent the
overworked educational system.
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00:00:57,844 --> 00:01:01,344
Now! Add the dead weight
of students like you.
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00:01:01,489 --> 00:01:04,289
So, you can see, children,
that our whole society is
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00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:07,791
nothing more than a
perilous house of cards.
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00:01:09,698 --> 00:01:12,698
Destined to collapse under
its own weight.
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00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,649
Dib! The warranty on
your desk has run out.
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00:01:16,649 --> 00:01:18,149
Get a replacement from the pile!
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00:01:18,548 --> 00:01:19,548
Yes, m'am.
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00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,648
Well, children, as you know,
the desk budget for this year
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00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,648
has run out.
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00:01:24,648 --> 00:01:29,148
But the school board is giving you
a chance to lessen your misery.
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Lights!
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00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,363
Word up, kids!
This is Poop Dawg,
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00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:41,863
the Poop Cola gangsta
clown with a little fund-raiser!
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00:01:41,863 --> 00:01:44,363
Do you wanna go
baggin' with the monies?
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00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:48,005
What does that mean?
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00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,478
Then check this box
of Poop Cola candy!
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00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,478
It's the great taste
of Poop Cola,
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00:01:53,478 --> 00:01:56,478
wrapped in a layer
of chocolate badness!
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00:01:58,373 --> 00:02:01,373
Every bar you sell earns
money for your school.
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00:02:01,373 --> 00:02:03,073
But what's in it for you?
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00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:05,073
Prizes, prizes, prazizes!
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00:02:06,186 --> 00:02:08,386
Sell a hundred bars
and you'll win a...
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00:02:08,386 --> 00:02:10,386
...adhesive medical strips.
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00:02:10,993 --> 00:02:13,493
Sell a thousand, you'll
win a crash helmet.
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00:02:13,493 --> 00:02:15,893
Sell ten thousand, you'll
win an electro scooter.
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00:02:15,893 --> 00:02:18,393
At five hundred thousand
you'll get a hover craft.
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00:02:18,393 --> 00:02:20,693
Plus a helmet.
Plus a box of...
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00:02:20,693 --> 00:02:22,993
...adhesive medical strips.
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00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:27,001
Garbage!
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00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:29,101
That hovercraft is a joke
of engineering and that helmet
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00:02:29,101 --> 00:02:31,601
would never protect
your brain from lasers.
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00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:34,601
But if you all think you's all
somet'in with the top sellies,
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00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:37,101
and... wit...
I can't do this...
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00:02:37,101 --> 00:02:38,101
Cuuut!
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The top prize is something
your b-b-b-brain won't believe.
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00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:43,801
Nonsense.
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00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:46,601
It's so amazing,
it's a secret.
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Secret?!
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00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,601
What are you hiding,
dawg man?
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Tell me!
Tell meee!
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00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:53,601
Good luck my
fellow poop slices.
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00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:56,101
Warning: candy made
entirely of saw dust.
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00:02:56,101 --> 00:02:58,401
Secret? Yes, of course.
But what could it be?
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00:02:58,401 --> 00:03:01,901
What? What? I must
posses the secret prize.
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00:03:02,101 --> 00:03:04,401
Miss Bitters? Why don't they
take the money they spent
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00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,101
on candy and prizes
and use it to buy desks?
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00:03:07,101 --> 00:03:09,101
That answer wasn't in the video.
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00:03:39,836 --> 00:03:41,336
Fundraising!
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00:03:42,051 --> 00:03:43,551
Children!
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00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:03,043
Then that horrible man-dawg
hybrid taunted us
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00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,643
by not revealing the secret prize.
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00:04:04,643 --> 00:04:07,143
It must be something of
unimaginable power, GIR.
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00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:12,395
Hey, Zim! I sold a whole
box at my dad's lab.
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00:04:12,395 --> 00:04:13,895
Beat that!
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00:04:13,895 --> 00:04:15,895
So, you're trying to beat me
to the prize, is that it?
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00:04:15,895 --> 00:04:18,595
Just more proof of its
strategic value.
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00:04:18,862 --> 00:04:20,962
The only reason I'm
selling this dirt in a wrapper,
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00:04:20,962 --> 00:04:23,462
is to watch you fail
at something else, Zim!
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00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,640
I can sell these horrible
candies better than any human.
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00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,840
Just watch!
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Why is his head so biiig!
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00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,340
Why is his head so biiig?!
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00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,340
Just follow my lead.
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00:04:50,236 --> 00:04:53,036
Please, m'am. If you
don't buy my candy,
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00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:56,036
my little brother
will go insane.
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00:05:06,771 --> 00:05:09,271
Good heaven! He's
worse than I thought.
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00:05:09,271 --> 00:05:11,771
Please, of course I'll
buy some candy.
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Mhm, that's the saw dust.
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She only bought one of
these horrible things.
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00:05:40,705 --> 00:05:42,705
You'll just have to
try harder, GIR!
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I don't understand.
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00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:52,224
Today has been
a horrible failure.
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GIR!
Don't eat that filth!
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It is the key to the
mystery of the prize.
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The mystery of the prize.
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00:07:02,805 --> 00:07:06,505
This miserable Earth sun.
Even ... minor didn't orbit
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00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:09,505
such a horrible star.
So hot!
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00:07:09,873 --> 00:07:10,873
Zim!
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00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,960
Zim!
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00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,566
I have come for you.
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00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:18,349
What is this?
Who are you?
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00:07:18,349 --> 00:07:19,349
I am...
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00:07:19,349 --> 00:07:20,149
Who are you?
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00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,149
I am...
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00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,149
Who are you?
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00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:25,750
I am Poop Dwag, the
gangsta spectre of defeat
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00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,250
people of ...
And you will never win
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00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:30,250
the mystery prize, fool!
93
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:35,120
What is this miraculous
prize thing?
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00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,720
I ain't tellin', yo.
95
00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:40,731
Does it defy the
laws of time and space?
96
00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:43,531
Can it alter the minds
of sentient beings?
97
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:46,731
Is it the key to
controlling all mankind?
98
00:07:47,648 --> 00:07:50,148
The prize will never
be yours, Zim!
99
00:07:50,148 --> 00:07:53,548
So say the gangsta
spectre of defeat.
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00:07:53,977 --> 00:07:55,777
I will not give up!
101
00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:57,777
Poop Dawg!
102
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:58,777
Never!
103
00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:01,912
Yo!
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00:08:11,047 --> 00:08:14,747
Geez, Zim! I haven't even
done anything to you yet!
105
00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:16,747
Get out of here,
gangster of defeat!
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00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,347
Be gone with you.
107
00:08:18,347 --> 00:08:21,347
Man, Zim! Defeat's
made you crazy.
108
00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:29,152
Of course. That has
been my mistake along.
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00:08:29,152 --> 00:08:31,752
I've been trying to sell
like a miserable human.
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00:08:31,752 --> 00:08:32,752
GIR!
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00:08:32,752 --> 00:08:34,052
Yes, my lord!
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00:08:34,052 --> 00:08:37,552
I will use inferior human
fundraising technics no longer!
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00:08:37,552 --> 00:08:41,052
Now watch as I unleash the
full power of Irken persuasion.
114
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,813
I'm gonna be sick!
115
00:08:54,299 --> 00:08:57,799
Human residents!
I have come selling candy!
116
00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:01,633
I am selling candy for
your local school.
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00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:03,133
And you will buy some.
118
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:07,757
W-we don't want none
of your government candy.
119
00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:09,557
We don't want none
of your government candy.
120
00:09:09,557 --> 00:09:11,057
Yes, you do.
121
00:09:18,270 --> 00:09:21,270
Now! See a world in
which you do not buy
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00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,270
my delicious treats.
123
00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:29,163
All that you know
and love lies in ruins.
124
00:09:42,376 --> 00:09:43,876
Horrible!
125
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:50,990
I just wanted a school
desk of my own.
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00:09:58,134 --> 00:10:00,634
This horrible tragedy
can be prevented.
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00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,134
If and only if you surrender
your money to me.
128
00:10:04,134 --> 00:10:06,134
And buy my candy!
129
00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:10,765
Pleaseee!
For the children.
130
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,344
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy your candy!
131
00:10:14,444 --> 00:10:16,944
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy your candy!
132
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,991
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy... we'll buy your candy!
133
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,991
Just stop this horrifying future
from ever happening.
134
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,658
Yes! Witness
my victory, poop beast!
135
00:11:00,905 --> 00:11:03,205
Children, your performance
was miserable.
136
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:06,705
Your parents will all receive
phone calls instructing them
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00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:08,205
to love you less now.
138
00:11:09,971 --> 00:11:13,471
But, in a shocking
display of school spirit,
139
00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:18,271
Dib, has come in first,
by selling one hundred candy bars.
140
00:11:18,271 --> 00:11:20,271
Congratulations,
you win a...
141
00:11:20,571 --> 00:11:22,671
...adhesive medical strips.
142
00:11:23,372 --> 00:11:24,872
First place!
143
00:11:24,872 --> 00:11:26,872
Take that,
space boy!
144
00:11:27,663 --> 00:11:30,163
Hey! Where's Zim?
145
00:11:40,921 --> 00:11:42,821
I am here, Dib worm.
146
00:11:42,821 --> 00:11:47,321
And I have sold over
1.2 million revolting candy units!
147
00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:51,879
I am prepared to receive the
power of the mystery prize.
148
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,879
Give to Zim!
149
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:57,452
Well, this is never
happened before.
150
00:11:58,391 --> 00:12:01,391
Zim, your prize is...
151
00:12:02,727 --> 00:12:04,227
Your prize is...
152
00:12:04,227 --> 00:12:06,527
...nothing! There's
no mystery prize!
153
00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:08,227
They just made it up
to make kids work harder
154
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,427
for no money.
155
00:12:10,879 --> 00:12:13,879
As a consolation...
...here's some tuna.
156
00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:19,827
Curse you, Poop Dawg!
Curse youuuu!
157
00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:30,115
Subtitles: Ainee and Andy
11419
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