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Invader Zim
Door to Door
s01e11A (s03e03)
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Subtitles: Ainee and Andy
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00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:52,069
Then!
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Add a card to represent the
overworked educational system.
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Now! Add the dead weight
of students like you.
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So, you can see, children,
that our whole society is
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nothing more than a
perilous house of cards.
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Destined to collapse under
its own weight.
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Dib! The warranty on
your desk has run out.
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Get a replacement from the pile!
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Yes, m'am.
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Well, children, as you know,
the desk budget for this year
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00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:24,648
has run out.
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But the school board is giving you
a chance to lessen your misery.
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Lights!
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Word up, kids!
This is Poop Dawg,
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the Poop Cola gangsta
clown with a little fund-raiser!
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Do you wanna go
baggin' with the monies?
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What does that mean?
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Then check this box
of Poop Cola candy!
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It's the great taste
of Poop Cola,
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wrapped in a layer
of chocolate badness!
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Every bar you sell earns
money for your school.
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But what's in it for you?
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Prizes, prizes, prazizes!
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Sell a hundred bars
and you'll win a...
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...adhesive medical strips.
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Sell a thousand, you'll
win a crash helmet.
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Sell ten thousand, you'll
win an electro scooter.
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At five hundred thousand
you'll get a hover craft.
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Plus a helmet.
Plus a box of...
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...adhesive medical strips.
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Garbage!
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That hovercraft is a joke
of engineering and that helmet
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would never protect
your brain from lasers.
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But if you all think you's all
somet'in with the top sellies,
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and... wit...
I can't do this...
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Cuuut!
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The top prize is something
your b-b-b-brain won't believe.
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Nonsense.
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It's so amazing,
it's a secret.
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Secret?!
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What are you hiding,
dawg man?
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Tell me!
Tell meee!
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Good luck my
fellow poop slices.
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Warning: candy made
entirely of saw dust.
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Secret? Yes, of course.
But what could it be?
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What? What? I must
posses the secret prize.
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Miss Bitters? Why don't they
take the money they spent
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on candy and prizes
and use it to buy desks?
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That answer wasn't in the video.
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Fundraising!
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Children!
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Then that horrible man-dawg
hybrid taunted us
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by not revealing the secret prize.
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It must be something of
unimaginable power, GIR.
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Hey, Zim! I sold a whole
box at my dad's lab.
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Beat that!
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So, you're trying to beat me
to the prize, is that it?
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Just more proof of its
strategic value.
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The only reason I'm
selling this dirt in a wrapper,
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is to watch you fail
at something else, Zim!
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I can sell these horrible
candies better than any human.
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Just watch!
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Why is his head so biiig!
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Why is his head so biiig?!
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Just follow my lead.
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Please, m'am. If you
don't buy my candy,
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my little brother
will go insane.
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Good heaven! He's
worse than I thought.
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Please, of course I'll
buy some candy.
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Mhm, that's the saw dust.
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She only bought one of
these horrible things.
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You'll just have to
try harder, GIR!
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I don't understand.
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Today has been
a horrible failure.
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GIR!
Don't eat that filth!
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It is the key to the
mystery of the prize.
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The mystery of the prize.
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This miserable Earth sun.
Even ... minor didn't orbit
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such a horrible star.
So hot!
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Zim!
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Zim!
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I have come for you.
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What is this?
Who are you?
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I am...
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Who are you?
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I am...
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Who are you?
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I am Poop Dwag, the
gangsta spectre of defeat
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people of ...
And you will never win
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the mystery prize, fool!
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What is this miraculous
prize thing?
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I ain't tellin', yo.
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Does it defy the
laws of time and space?
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Can it alter the minds
of sentient beings?
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Is it the key to
controlling all mankind?
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The prize will never
be yours, Zim!
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So say the gangsta
spectre of defeat.
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I will not give up!
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Poop Dawg!
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Never!
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Yo!
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Geez, Zim! I haven't even
done anything to you yet!
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Get out of here,
gangster of defeat!
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Be gone with you.
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Man, Zim! Defeat's
made you crazy.
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00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:29,152
Of course. That has
been my mistake along.
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I've been trying to sell
like a miserable human.
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GIR!
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Yes, my lord!
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I will use inferior human
fundraising technics no longer!
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Now watch as I unleash the
full power of Irken persuasion.
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I'm gonna be sick!
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Human residents!
I have come selling candy!
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I am selling candy for
your local school.
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And you will buy some.
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W-we don't want none
of your government candy.
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00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:09,557
We don't want none
of your government candy.
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00:09:09,557 --> 00:09:11,057
Yes, you do.
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Now! See a world in
which you do not buy
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my delicious treats.
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All that you know
and love lies in ruins.
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Horrible!
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I just wanted a school
desk of my own.
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This horrible tragedy
can be prevented.
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If and only if you surrender
your money to me.
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00:10:04,134 --> 00:10:06,134
And buy my candy!
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00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:10,765
Pleaseee!
For the children.
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00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,344
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy your candy!
131
00:10:14,444 --> 00:10:16,944
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy your candy!
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00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,991
We'll buy your candy!
We'll buy... we'll buy your candy!
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00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,991
Just stop this horrifying future
from ever happening.
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00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,658
Yes! Witness
my victory, poop beast!
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00:11:00,905 --> 00:11:03,205
Children, your performance
was miserable.
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00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:06,705
Your parents will all receive
phone calls instructing them
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00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:08,205
to love you less now.
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00:11:09,971 --> 00:11:13,471
But, in a shocking
display of school spirit,
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00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:18,271
Dib, has come in first,
by selling one hundred candy bars.
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00:11:18,271 --> 00:11:20,271
Congratulations,
you win a...
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00:11:20,571 --> 00:11:22,671
...adhesive medical strips.
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00:11:23,372 --> 00:11:24,872
First place!
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00:11:24,872 --> 00:11:26,872
Take that,
space boy!
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00:11:27,663 --> 00:11:30,163
Hey! Where's Zim?
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00:11:40,921 --> 00:11:42,821
I am here, Dib worm.
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00:11:42,821 --> 00:11:47,321
And I have sold over
1.2 million revolting candy units!
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00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:51,879
I am prepared to receive the
power of the mystery prize.
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00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,879
Give to Zim!
149
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:57,452
Well, this is never
happened before.
150
00:11:58,391 --> 00:12:01,391
Zim, your prize is...
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00:12:02,727 --> 00:12:04,227
Your prize is...
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00:12:04,227 --> 00:12:06,527
...nothing! There's
no mystery prize!
153
00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:08,227
They just made it up
to make kids work harder
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00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,427
for no money.
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00:12:10,879 --> 00:12:13,879
As a consolation...
...here's some tuna.
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00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:19,827
Curse you, Poop Dawg!
Curse youuuu!
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00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:30,115
Subtitles: Ainee and Andy
11419
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