Original subtitles

- ♪ Goodbye, Flash Casey

♪ Goodbye, Flash Casey

♪ Goodbye, Flash Casey

♪ He's going to leave us now

- Hey, hey!

What gives off here?

- Look, Ed, as the so-called president

of this alleged paternity of Mu Mu Mu's,

you've got to do something.

- About what?

- Flash Casey, he's up in his room packing.

- Oh? What for?

- He's leaving his dear old alma mammy flat on her campus.

- Hey, that doesn't make sense.

He can't shove off now,

he graduates in a couple of months.

Why is he leaving?

- Money. - Money?

What's that?

- [chuckles] I wouldn't know.

- All right, it's up to us guys to see him through.

Come on, shell out.

- It's no use, Ed. We're all flat.

- A fine thing.

A couple of sharks in economics and broke.

- Let's have a few moments of intense, silent concentration.

We can figure out something.

- Come on, brain, give.

- Thanks, Benny, old boy, old boy, I'll tell him.

Nope, you can't leave, Flash, that's final.

The spirit of Benjamin Baxter Belmont says,

"Flash Casey marches on."

- Yeah, well you ask the spirit of Benjamin Baxter Belmont

what I'm going to use for money.

- Flash, I can't let you do this awful thing.

I might be only a freshman and a pledge, but I got a heart.

- That's a handicap.

- Flash, if you don't mind my asking,

what happened that you have to quit college?

- Oh, nothing much.

My father lost a wrestling match with his bank balance,

and I had to send him some money.

- Gee, that's tough.

You sure deserve a lot of credit, Flash,

putting yourself through college taking pictures.

- Well, it was fun getting 'em.

I've had to do everything but go over

Niagara Falls in a thimble.

- Gee, you got some swell flash lights of the faculty.

- Ah, those old boys go for having their mugs magnified.

- Well, college professors are human.

- That's what they think.

- Ah.

Nope, won't work.

- Ah, I could have stayed if I'd had any luck

with that National Pictorial.

I sent them some good stuff a month ago,

but they never answered me.

- National Pictorial?

Why, something came from them a week ago.

- What?

- Yeah, a big envelope, I thought it was an ad.

- Well, where is it?

- I'm awfully sorry, Flash,

but I guess I kind of threw it away slightly.

- You did what?

Say that again?

- I sort of threw it away.

- Why, you low crawling imitation of a worm!

You freshman, and you my roommate!

- I know.

I'm not worthy of becoming a Mu Mu Mu.

- So you threw it away, huh?

- Ow!

- Where did you throw it? - In the wastebasket.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

- Sounds like Flash is feeling better.

- Yeah, but I'll bet Joe isn't.

- Come on! - Lead on, Macduff!

- Ow!

- Sorry, Joe, but only by the ordeal of fire

are we rendered pure and worthy to become Mu Mu Mu's.

- Yeah, but why don't you use cracked ice for a change?

Ow!

- Hey, what has this miserable bivalve of a pledge been doing, Flash?

- Oh, he threw away a letter of mine.

- I thought it was an ad.

- A pledge is not supposed to think.

- Hey, wait a minute.

I haven't emptied this thing in a week.

Here it is.

- Aw, you do it, Ed. I can't bare to look at it.

- Why not?

- Well, there could be a check in it.

Don't keep me in suspense.

Is there a check or isn't there?

- There is.

- How much? Don't tell me.

- 100 bucks.

- You must mean 10.

- Gee, Flash.

You won some sort of a contest, no kidding.

- 100 smackers.

Boy, oh, boy!

Am I a million dollar picture taker or am I?

- Come here, Joey.

Place yourself in the proper position

to receive the further wrath of the Mu Mu Mu's.

- Gee, what for?

- For neglecting your house duties,

not emptying that wastepaper basket for a week.

- But if I'd emptied the basket, Flash's check would be gone.

I'm responsible for him being here.

- True, but the great order of Mu Mu Mu

doesn't count in this neglected duty.

- Oh.

Oh!

Gosh, I'm always taking it on the chin.

[music playing]

- Here they come, start the music.

[piano playing]

[men chatting, indistinct]

- Well, guys, from now on, the world's our oyster.

- Yeah, but to hear those graduation speakers,

you'd think there was something hard about being a success.

- Baloney. Say listen, in 10 years, I'll be running

the biggest automobile business in the world.

- 10 years? You're slow.

Give me just five years

and I'll own a chain of banks from coast to coast.

- Gee, Flash, how does it feel to be a graduate?

- Oh, it itches.

- Hey, what about you, Flash?

- Oh, I don't care about the money end of it.

I'm going to own the largest news photo agency in the world.

Might take me a couple of years, though.

- Have you got a job?

- No, but it's just a matter of picking

the paper I want to start with.

[typewriters clacking]

- Excuse me, sir, are you the editor?

- Go right straight ahead, son, in the noise department.

Copy boy!

Man: Hello, Mr. Blair.

This is Blaine at the "Globe Press."

Now see here, Charlie, this paper put you in office

and we can blast you out!

I want that statement today or we're going to start

burning the pants off of you!

Goodbye.

- Mr. Blaine, I-- [phone rings]

- Yeah? Yes, Robinson.

Oh, you can't see her, eh?

Now, get this.

I want an interview, not an alibi.

I'll show that ritzy dame she can't

get my reporters running around,

even if she has got 100 million bucks.

In her swimming bath, eh?

Well, put on your water wings.

- Mr. Blaine--[phone rings]

- Just a minute, Wade.

Yeah?

Oh, you finally interrupted your pinnacle game

long enough to phone in.

There's been a cute little killing at the Hartman Hotel.

Yes, I'm sending Wade. He'll meet you there.

That's all, Wade. Don't wait for the funeral.

- Okay, chief. I'm saving myself so I can enjoy yours.

- Mr. Blaine.

- So they tell me.

- I'm Flash Casey.

- Not the Flash Casey?

- Yes, sir. - Never heard of you.

What do you want?

- Well, I-I want to go to work.

- Why, scram.

- But, Mr. Blaine, I sent you a telegram.

- You can have it back if you want it.

- I guess you don't understand.

I'm the fellow that worked his way through college taking pictures.

- Aren't you wonderful?

Listen, I hate photographers and I hate college heroes.

Now get out.

- Shall I, uh, come back later?

- Sure. Make it 100 years from today.

- Yes, sir. What time?

- Get out!

[typewriters clacking]

[thud]

- Gosh!

Terribly sorry.

- You're sorry?

How do you think it makes me feel?

- Well, not as bad as I do. Are you hurt?

- I don't know, but it hasn't done my dignity any good.

- Well, I hope nothing develops.

- Well, only time will tell.

- Well, how will I know?

- Oh, I'll put an ad in the personal column.

- But how will I know it's you?

- I'll sign it "Broken Heart."

- Well, I'll pay for the ad.

- Won't cost anything, I work for this rag.

- You do? What's your name?

- I happen to be Kay Lanning. It's none of your business.

- You're not the Kay Lanning that writes the special features?

- Oh, just call me sob sister.

But I also edit the society page.

- Oh, now I know I've got to work at the "Globe Press."

- Work here? As what?

- Oh, as a photographer.

I was just talking to the Mr. Blaine.

- Then that accounts for your walking around in a daze.

- Yeah, but he wasn't very encouraging.

- Well, cheer up. Somebody may shoot him yet.

So long, and good luck.

- Honk your horn, bud.

- Honk, honk.

- Payton?

Where have you managed to hide yourself?

- I've been developing some stuff.

- Seems to me you do a lot of developing,

considering how few pictures you get from me.

- Hey, listen, what kind of a crack is that?

I get you everything I can.

- The next thing I know, Blaine runs the best

of what you get in the "Globe Press."

- Go on, what are you getting at?

- Oh, never mind, never mind.

But tomorrow is our deadline.

You'll have to get me something else

for the front cover today sure, or we're sunk.

- I can't pull them out of a hat.

[phone rings]

- Yes?

Man, on phone: Lawrence, come into my office, will you?

- Yes, I'll be right in, Major Addison.

I'll talk to you later about the front cover.

- I'll be here.

[knock on door]

- Come in, Lawrence.

Sit down.

How's your next issue coming along?

- I hope it will be all right.

- Don't you know?

- Not definitely, I'm sorry to say.

- Lawrence, when you came to me six months ago to sell me

the idea of letting you put out a pictorial,

I was very dubious.

Now I'm convinced that pictorials are an experiment.

Certainly you've done nothing to prove they'll be a success.

So far, each issue has been

just a little bit worse than the one before.

- I'll grant you that, Major Addison,

but I'm sure it will improve.

- With the "Globe Press" helping you,

you shouldn't have all this difficulty.

- That's right, I-I shouldn't.

- Well, I must warn you,

"Snap News" will have to snap out of it at once

or I'll have to discontinue it.

That's all, Lawrence.

[typewriter clacking]

- What do you want, Lawrence? I'm busy.

- I want to know how I'm expected to get out a pictorial magazine

when my best photographs disappear

and show up in the "Globe Press."

- What are you babbling about?

- That's the picture I was going to use for the front cover

of the next issue of "Snap News."

- Where did you get the idea that puny little thing

you call a pictorial is more important than this newspaper?

- That isn't the point, Blaine.

That photo was taken by my own cameramen,

not by one of your staff.

- The picture was placed on my desk two days ago.

- By whom? - How should I know?

- That isn't the first picture that disappeared mysteriously from my office.

This has been going on ever since I started

"Snap News" for Major Addison.

- What of it?

The whole idea of a pictorial magazine is bunk.

The Major thinks so, too, now.

- Bunk? You mark my words, Blaine,

the pictorial will sweep the country.

- Yours won't.

- Not if you can prevent it, evidently.

And you've been trying hard enough.

- Well, top of the afternoon to you, Mrs. O'Hara.

You're looking wonderful.

- Never mind the baloney, Mr. Casey.

Hmph. You've got a job... I don't presume.

- Um, not exactly, but I've had a lot of encouragement.

- Well, that's fine, but I can't pay the butcher and the baker

and the Fuller Brush man with encouragement, more the pity.

And may I suggest that a young fellow with no money and no job

has no business running around with a camera

taking pictures like a nosy tourist.

- But taking pictures is my business, Mrs. O'Hara.

I'm a freelance cameraman, one of the greatest in the world.

- And what is a freelance cameraman?

- Well, he's a cameraman that goes all around

looking for pictures to take.

- Hmm, I see.

Just a fancy word meaning no job.

There's a sample of the injustice of life.

Here I slave me daylights out washing and ironing

and cooking and scrubbing,

and trying to collect me room rents,

while this flibberty gibbet insures her legs for $1 million.

- Let's see.

"Mitzi LaRue, famous French dancer whose beautiful legs are

"insured for a million dollars, will arrive

on steamship Ontario today."

Say, that gives me an idea.

- Hmph.

It's give plenty of other men ideas, no doubt.

[ship engine humming]

- What's your hurry?

- I got to get in there. - What for?

- To take some pictures.

- Why don't you buy yourself some postcards?

- I'm a news photographer.

- Yeah? What paper?

- "Globe Press."

- You can't kid me.

Those newspaper guys boarded her quarantine.

Stand aside.

[ship's horn honking]

[camera shutters clicking]

- Get a good gander at those, boys.

They're mighty pretty.

Photographer: Thank you, madam.

- [speaking French]

- Uh...

Uh, just a minute, missy, you're not through yet.

- But I'm going to be-- - Oh, yeah? So am I.

- But I have let you take some pictures.

This boat, she just land.

- Aw, now don't get excited.

Just sit right down there, and uh, let's see the gams.

- Gams? Gams, what is gams?

- The million dollar part of you, the gams, the pins,

the transportation department.

- But I do not understand.

- Legs, legs if you must know.

Just sit there and cross them.

- You make the big insult. Come, Poopoo.

- Poo poo for you.

- Just a minute, son.

You must have been reading them success story magazines.

Come on, beat it.

- Darling!

Sweetie pie. - Darling!

- Oh, baby, it's so good to see you again.

- It has been a thousand years since I have seen you in Paris.

- I'm sorry I couldn't meet you at the gangplank,

but we mustn't be seen together.

- Oh, that is okay, darling, I understand.

- Did you take this? - Well, yes, sir.

I thought if I showed you what I could do,

you might give me a job.

That's a picture of Mitzi LaRue.

- You're telling me.

And now I'll tell you something,

the young sap is Rodney Addison Jr.,

son of the man who owns this newspaper.

Why, the Major ordered him back from Europe

to keep him away from her!

- Doggone, just my luck.

And I thought I had something.

- You've got something, all right.

The swellest grounds for a breach of promise suit in history.

Why, with that picture, the dame could put the B

on Addison's bankroll for a million bucks.

Let me have that negative before it gets you in trouble.

- No, it won't get me in any trouble.

- I said let me have that negative.

- Well, under the circumstances, Mr. Blaine, how about a job?

- All right.

Let me have the negative, and you go to work.

- [whistling] Jumping Jezebel, who took that?

- Wade, meet our new staff photographer, mister--

- Flash Casey. Sure glad to meet you.

- Nice going, sprouts. - Thanks.

- How much is this big-hearted bozo going to pay you?

- 50 bucks a week.

- Gee, thanks a million, Mr. Blaine.

- Uh, 18 bucks a week, then.

- That's right.

- You said 50!

- That's before I got the negative.

18 bucks, take it or leave it.

- I'll take it.

- You start tomorrow morning.

[typewriters clacking]

- Who is it?

- Flash Casey, in the flash.

- Well, come back in a flash with a flash, I'm busy.

- Okay, broken-hearted.

- Well, if it isn't big cheek bump in the garden. Come in.

- Thanks for remembering me.

- Oh, I'll remember you for several days yet.

- I wish you could forget about that bump and remember me.

- Well, what brings you into this den

of society lions and lioness's?

- Well, I news for you. - For me?

- Yeah, about me, I got a job here.

- Not really. - Cross my heart.

- Picture snatcher? - Yup, I start tomorrow.

- Well, be careful you don't end tomorrow, too.

[knock on door] Come in.

- Pardon me, Kay.

I want to thank you again for the front cover.

It saved my life this week.

- I always wanted to be a lifeguard.

Oh, Mr. Lawrence, this is Flash Casey,

a new photographer on the "Globe Press."

- How are you, young man? - Hello.

- Friend of yours?

- Well, we bump into each other occasionally.

- I see. I'm happy to know you, my boy.

Friend of Kay's is a friend of mine.

And let me wish you great success.

- Thank you, sir.

- And come in and see me any time...Flash.

- Thank you, I will.

Who's he?

- That's Pop Lawrence, he's editor at "Snap News",

Major Addison's pictorial.

- I like him. - So do I.

- Candid camera. That's what I've always wanted.

- I carry it with me on assignments.

I pick up some swell pictures unexpectedly.

- Well, you gave some to Mr. Lawrence for his pictorial.

- Yes, but remember, Blaine doesn't know it.

- I get it.

- Well, you'd better run along,

you've got a big day ahead tomorrow.

- Every day will be a big day from now on. Bye.

- So long.

[door buzzer buzzing]

- See who it is.

- Hello, Denny. - Hi.

- Hello, Rick. - Hello.

- What's on your mind?

- Sit down.

How are you getting along with that picture guy?

- Oh, all right, but it takes time.

You can't work on a thing as big as that in a minute.

- You've been at it for weeks now.

I want some action.

- Listen, Rick, when I get this thing perfected,

it's going to make your other rackets look like penny ante.

- Well, what's holding you back? - I got to go slow.

They're liable to get wise to me at the office.

The old man is already starting to beef

about me spending so much time in the developing room.

- I want you to quit that piker job

and put all your time on this thing.

- Yeah, but I got to make my coffee and cakes, haven't I?

- In a few days, I'm going to set you up in business.

- What kind of business?

- A camera store where you sell stuff,

do developing, one of those joints.

- What's the gag?

- It'd give you a swell front.

You'll have a place to work this thing out.

And you might get a hold of some pictures that you could use.

- Say, that's a good idea.

- Any idea I get is good, remember that.

Drink?

- Sure, why not?

- Morning. Woman: Hello.

- Ah, you waiting on somebody? - Yeah, Mr. Blaine.

Uh, I'm starting here today as cameraman.

Flash Casey's the name. - Payton's mine.

I snatch pictures for the "Snap News".

- Glad to meet you. - Yeah, see you around.

- Sure.

Morning.

- [groans]

- Morning.

Well, here I am, bright and early.

- You're early, but your brightness may be open to doubt.

- Yeah, I'm beginning to think the same thing myself.

- Morning, Blaine.

- Miller, take city hall this morning.

Robinson had to meet his grandmother.

- Blonde or brunette?

- Never mind the dumb cracks, get going.

- Gone.

- Say, Skipper what about me doing something different for a change?

- All right, try working.

- Aw, say, I've been hanging around gangsters so long

that I'm talking out of the side of my mouth like this, see?

Say, what do you say, Tony, should we give him the works?

- You'll get the works payday if you don't

start coming in with some news.

- Mr. Blaine, just what is this news

that I've been hearing so much about?

Is it, uh, plural or singular?

- If you ever got any, it would be singular.

- Oh, now I'm acquainted with the old newspaper nifty

about the man biting the dog.

Say, I might get you a new angle on that.

How about finding you a tree that bites a dog?

- Good morning. What's the idea of that?

- Well, you've got to have a camera to take pictures.

- I'll take the pictures, sonny.

Uh, here, grab that.

I've been needing a flunky to carry my stuff around for a long time.

- I get it.

Maybe I should have kept the negative.

- The police looked for some rioting at the docks, Wade.

Hang around.

- You'd get my last drop of blood for dear old "Globe Press,"

wouldn't you, sweetheart?

Come on, stooge. Let's get going.

- They ought to put a traffic cop at this intersection.

- Oh. - You moving?

- Well, I don't know yet.

- Well, good luck anyhow.

- Thanks. I think I'll need it.

- Okay, Caliban, get going. There we go.

[fast-paced music playing]

[tires screeching]

[crowd shouting]

[explosion]

[cheering]

[engine whirring]

[explosion]

[whirring]

- Wade? - Yeah?

- Bonus from the old man.

- A hundred bucks? What's the gag?

- That stuff you got at the balloon disaster

was the greatest piece of newspaper photography he'd ever seen.

- [chuckles] And they all laughed

when I told them I was the best picture snatcher in the world.

- By the way, I'll have to let Casey go.

- Why? - My payroll is too heavy.

- Ah, you've been wanting an excuse

to fire him ever since he put one over on you

and got the job, forget it.

- Gonna split that money with Casey, aren't you?

- No, why should I?

- Because it so happens that Casey took

those balloon pictures.

- You're cracked.

- Oh, am I? I saw him.

- I was wearing Casey's coat when that gas bag blew up.

- Say, you're not fooling anybody.

I know Casey when I see him.

- All right, so what about it?

- So I'm getting tired of seeing Casey

take pictures and you take the bows!

- How'd you like a smack in the puss?

- From you, I wouldn't even feel it.

- That's good enough for me.

Oh, I ought to scramble you all over the place.

- Hey, hey, cut it out, you lunatics!

I ought to fire you both.

- And wreck the paper? That's a cute idea.

- Go on outside and buy each other a drink and forget it.

- I'll buy him a drink.

A nice, cool Mickey Finn.

[Casey whistling]

- Pardon me, honey.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

- Hello, Flash. This is Kay.

- Kay!

Guess this is the first time you ever called me up.

- Well, I have something very important to tell you.

Will you meet me at The Paradise in half an hour?

- Lady, I'd meet you at North Pole in ten minutes.

Bring what? Okay!

[tropical music playing]

- Hello. - Hello.

- You haven't been waiting long, have you?

- Oh, not very long.

Flash, Pop Lawrence is in terrible trouble.

Blaine's been pulling some more fast ones on him,

and on top of that, Payton quit him today cold.

- Payton quit? What for?

- Oh, he's going into business for himself.

He's got a camera store.

- We've got to do something to help Pop.

- I know, but I can't do anything.

You've got to do it, tonight.

- What?

- Well, Sharon Lee, the movie star,

is in hiding at the Warren's estate.

The Warren's are friends of mine.

- Sharon Lee in town here?

- Yes, and she's going to be married secretly tonight.

- Married tonight! How do you know?

- Oh, never mind that.

The point is, it's one of the biggest stories of the year

and not a newspaper knows about it.

- And you can't tell because Warren's are friends of yours.

Gee, that's tough.

- But I'm telling you so that you and I can help Pop Lawrence.

- What a story.

A picture of that ceremony would be plastered on every newspaper.

- Yes, if they could get it, but they won't,

because I want Pop Lawrence to have it exclusively for his front cover.

- You can count me in. - Thanks, Flash.

And remember, no one must know where you got the tip.

Word of honor?

- Word of honor.

- Do you take this man for your lawfully wedded husband,

through sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey

as long as you both shall live?

- I do.

- Then I now pronounce you man and wife.

- That's it! - [gasps] Oh!

- Hold it!

Bye, folks.

- It's a knockout.

- Well, it's yours, and it's exclusive.

- Mine? I don't understand.

What about Blaine?

- Blaine doesn't even know I took it.

And he won't until "Snap News" comes out

with that on it's front cover.

- But Blaine will fire you.

- He can't, I took it on my own time.

- Son, I can't find words to tell you how grateful I am.

- Aw, don't mention it.

[trolley bell ringing]

[car horn honking]

- I'd like to compliment you on the front cover, Lawrence.

Who made this picture?

- I'd rather not say, Major.

- Okay, that's your business.

But don't get cocky.

You're not out of the woods yet, you know, not by a mile.

Oh, good morning, Miss Lanning.

- Good morning.

Congratulations, Pop. It's the scoop of the ages.

- Young lady, did you have anything to do with this?

- How could you ever think such a thing?

- How did you ever let him put a thing like that over on you?

- I didn't even know there was going to be a wedding.

[knock on door] Come in.

Casey, did you take that picture?

Well, did you?

- Yes, sir.

- Where did you get the tip-off about the wedding?

- I can't tell you, sir.

- You mean you won't. - Yes, sir.

- Why didn't you bring the picture to me?

- Well, I wanted to help Pop Lawrence.

- That's all I wanted to know.

Casey, you're through. See the cashier.

Get going.

- Okay, sir.

- If you need any references, Stoogey, look me up.

- I'll keep him off of every newspaper from Maine to California.

- That Blaine is the biggest heel in the newspaper business.

- And the best editor. - Yeah, he would be.

It's a wonder somebody hasn't tried to stick him with a knife.

- And if they did, he'd only bleed printer's ink.

- Well, Pop, big news.

"Globe Press" and Flash Casey have dissolved.

- What? - Yeah.

Mr. Blaine and I disagreed about certain policies

of running the newspaper.

- Flash, you got fired because of that picture.

- Ha, you're a mind-reader.

- I'm going right to Major Addison.

- Oh, you're not. And get fired yourself?

We're going to put "Snap News" on it's feet.

- We? - You and I.

From now on, I'm going to work for you.

- Okay, son, but I can't pay you much.

The only pay I want is a chance to lick Blaine.

- Flash, it's all my fault, and I think it's terrible.

- Oh, it's swell. - It's terrific.

- Dad, you're all wrong about Mitzi, she's a swell girl.

- With all her escapades and affairs in Europe, she must be.

- Aw, Dad, you're a big newspaper man falling

for that press agent stuff.

Why don't you grow up?

- We won't discuss the matter.

- And she's not a matter, she's an event.

If you knew her, you'd like her.

As a matter of fact, I was thinking about

inviting her to your shindig tomorrow.

- Now, you stay away from that young lady.

Rodney, my boy, why don't you marry

some nice, respectable girl?

Settle down and go to work.

- If it's work you want,

I think I'll go out and dig up the golf course.

Well, carry on for dear old "Globe Press."

- And after what happened,

I hate to ask you to do me another favor.

- Oh, anything at all you want.

- Well, Major Addison's society bazaar

will be held day after tomorrow.

It's his pet charity, the hospital for crippled children.

- Yeah, I've read plenty about it.

- Oh, it's very exclusive.

To get in, you've got to have blue blood and greenbacks.

- Sounds plenty colorful.

- You see, being society editor and knowing everybody,

I'm in charge of admitting the guests.

- Oh? Nobody gets in without a nod from you, huh?

Well, what do you want me to do, be head bouncer?

- No, I'd like for you to be my escort, if you will.

- Aw, lady, for you I'd fight fires, floods, and wild cats.

- What, no traffic cops? - Not if they're too tough.

- Gee, Flash, I wish we could take pictures.

Major Addison won't allow cameras.

- Why not? - Oh, just a whim.

He says he wants his guests to enjoy themselves

without someone snapping ridiculous pictures of them.

- Well, why do you want pictures?

- Well, for a long time, I wanted to get a special page

and call it the Candid Camera in Society.

I could do a swell article.

- I'll say you could, and I could help you.

- Oh, well, perhaps some other time.

- Well, look-- Aw, I guess you're right.

Well, I'll see you tonight maybe, huh?

- All right.

- Say, this is tops.

- Oh, it'll do.

- Payton, could you, uh,

could you rent me a camera for tomorrow?

One I could sort of hide.

- What's the idea?

- Well, I want to go to Major Addison's bazaar tomorrow,

and I want to--

- Oh, sure, I get you.

You want to snap some pictures with the big shots on the QT, huh?

- Well, yeah, but I only wanted to give them to Kay

as a surprise for a Sunday feature she wanted to write.

- Well, wait a minute.

Here's a baby for you.

A new candid camera, you see?

Slips right under your coat, like this.

There you are.

You could snap your stuff like this, and nobody gets wise.

- Boy, that's something. How much?

- Not a cent.

Take it around and use it a couple of weeks

and see how you like it.

And, uh, if you want to make sure that Kay gets

your stuff instead of Blaine, take my tip.

Bring it to me to be developed.

- Thanks, I sure will.

- If I was a Radford dame, how much dough would I have?

- Oh, about five million smackers.

- Then I'd give at least a hundred grand to never miss it.

Looks like I've got a new way of shaking down the suckers.

- I've got to have photographs to work with.

Prominent people with heavy jack.

- Wait a minute.

There's the answer to that.

If a little camera could wander around that joint

a few minutes, we'd be fixed for life.

- Don't be a Girl Scout.

The Addison place is guarded like a clink.

- That's all right.

I think I took care of that little situation about an hour ago,

thanks to your little camera shop.

- That's swell.

[music playing]

- Hey, how are you, dear?

- Fine, Mrs. Farakey. Welcome.

Hello. Oh, hello, Paul.

- Hello, Kay. How are you?

- Fine, thank you.

- Ah, looks like a large afternoon.

- Yes, many a million pass through this gate.

- Maybe I'll pass a hat around.

[music playing]

- Mitzi.

- Darling! - Oh, Mitzi.

- How are you?

- Now, darling, don't be afraid of Dad.

His bark is worse than his bite.

- [speaking French]

- Name, please.

- It's all right, Kay.

- That's Rodney, Major Addison's son.

- Yeah, I know. I've seen him before.

- Flash, you look uncomfortable standing here.

Why don't you take a stroll around the grounds?

- All right, swell.

I'll leave my hat there.

- Okay.

- Well, I'll take a look around.

- All right, Senator, see you later.

- Yes, sir.

- How do you? How are you?

- Dad, meet the Countess Dubinay.

My father, Countess.

- My dear Countess, I'm honored.

- So, this is the gentleman that back and bag, no?

- Uh, will you entertain the Countess, Dad,

I have someone I'd like to see.

- Delighted. - Will you pardon me?

- Of course.

- May I have the pleasure of showing you around, Countess?

- How kind of you.

- Have you been in this country long?

- Oh, several days. - Oh, uh...

- Just a minute, mister. $5.00, please.

- $5.00? - Yes, sir, that's all. $5.00.

- Oh, $5.00.

- Get them while they're hot.

Only $100 to kiss the world's most beautiful debutante.

How about it, boys? Step right up.

- How about, uh, three for $250?

- I'm sorry, but three smacks will cost you 500 smackers.

- Here you are. - Thank you, Senator.

- Clarence. - Hello, my dear.

- That's all right, Senator. I'll kiss them myself for you.

All right, boys, who will it be next?

There's a gentleman. Right here, have your choice.

[music playing]

- [laughing]

- Oh, by the way, Countess,

do you know Mitzi LaRue, the dancer?

- Oh, Mitzi LaRue?

Oh, I know her very well. She is a lovely and charming girl.

And a great artist.

- But those stories about her in the papers...

- Lies. All of them, a package of lies.

But why do you ask?

- Well, as a matter of fact,

my son was quite interested in her at one time.

- Oh, so?

I do not blame him.

- No? - No.

- Well, of course, if she were a nice girl like you,

I could understand his going overboard for her.

- Oh, Mitzi LaRue is very much like me.

Mais, oui. [laughs]

Now we go play, no?

- Yes, if you'd like.

- I wish I had some of the money that's floating around here today.

- Why worry about money?

You've got your height and health and good eyesight.

- Yeah, that's right, but I've got a certain ambition.

- As to what?

- As to getting married, if you must know.

- Well, don't forget to let me know when it happens.

- I'll give you a big write-up in my society column.

- Well, you'd be the first to find out, I hope.

- Oh, some people are coming.

- Aw, darn this traffic.

Let's get out of this firetrap.

- Well, how did you like the Countess, Dad?

- Sonny, if you had any sense, you'd marry that girl.

- Well, maybe I will.

That, my fine feathered father, is--

- Oh, I know. Mitzi LaRue. Ha ha ha.

[door buzzing]

- Hello. Got my stuff?

- No, I'm sorry, Casey. I had to leave the shop.

- Aw, gee. And I'm in a big rush for it.

When will it be done?

- Why, not until tomorrow.

- Did it turn out all right? - Well, I don't know yet.

I haven't developed it.

- Okay. So long.

- So long.

- What a cent.

Come on, let's get going.

- Wait a minute.

Here.

That's what you use on Addison,

and this is the Casey's original negatives and also the phonies.

I'll do my stuff while you're in with Addison.

- Yes, yes, we had a wonderful time.

A marvelous party.

At least 300 people.

What?

Excuse me, Charlie.

I'll call you back.

- Major Addison? - Yes, what can I do for you?

- I've got a little picture I'd like to sell you.

- I'm not interested. - That's what you think.

- A perfectly innocent picture of Mitzi LaRue,

my son's fiancée and myself, made at my party,

and turn it into a thing like this, I don't know!

What I do know, this is the lowest,

vilest, most contemptible attempt at extortion

I've ever heard of!

- When you get all through raving, mister,

we'll talk business.

- Business?

My only business will be with the district attorney.

- So my picture ain't worth 25 grand to you, huh?

- Get out of here! Get out!

- Okay, mister.

I'll read about what happened to you in the "Globe Press,"

but you won't.

[door closes]

- Kay, come in here.

Who was taking pictures at my party?

- Why, no one. - Are you sure?

- I'm positive. Except--

- Except what, now? Go on. - Well, Flash Casey was there.

- And who's Flash Casey?

- Well, he used to be Tom Wade's assistant,

he's now Pop Lawrence's cameraman.

- Oh, that one. But how did he get in?

- Well, he came with me.

- Is Casey your boyfriend?

- Well, not exactly. But I do like him a lot.

- Is Casey there?

Lawrence [on phone]: No, sir. I'm expecting him shortly.

- Oh. Well, come in here, Lawrence, will you?

Right away, and bring Blaine with you.

- Major Addison, won't you please tell me what's wrong?

- This.

- What is it? What does it mean?

- You'll find out.

- Well, it looks like we're going to have

a little trouble with Addison.

- Yeah? Well, I could have told you that.

Boys, the Major wants to take a little ride.

You'd better escort him to the car.

- Blaine.

Have you any reason to think Flash Casey might be

mixed up in an extortion racket?

- I don't know, why?

- Casey took a picture at my party.

A man was just in here trying to blackmail me with this.

- But Flash wouldn't do anything like that.

- When a fellow will blackmail himself into a job,

he'll do anything. - What do you mean?

- Casey brought in a phony picture of your son

embracing that LaRue girl.

I had to hire him to get the negative.

- Well, why didn't you tell me? - I didn't want to worry you.

Then I fired him when he double-crossed me

on the wedding picture that Lawrence used on his front cover.

- Major, I told Flash to take that picture,

and I also told him about the wedding.

We only wanted to help Mr. Lawrence.

- I didn't know that, Kay. You shouldn't have done it.

- Never mind that, let's stick to the point.

- I'm convinced Casey is behind all this.

I've suspected him from the first.

- That's absurd.

Casey wouldn't get mixed up in a thing

like that in a million years.

- Of course not. Flash isn't that type of boy.

- Excuse me, Major. I have an idea. - So have I.

- Major, won't you please give Flash a chance to explain?

- He'll do his explaining to the police.

Get me the district attorney.

- Major Addison, please don't do that.

- Look at this, Major. I found them in his desk.

[phone ringing]

- Hello, D.A. I'm okay, how are you?

I'm coming right down to your office.

And you're going with me, young lady.

That's all for you two right now.

- Well, Lawrence, I think this will finish "Snap News."

- All right, Major, let's take a walk.

- Kay!

Kay! - Flash!

- Look, I want to tell you about--

- Why, you're the young man I want to see!

[gunshot]

- Flash, wait!

- Hey, taxi!

Follow that car!

[police whistling]

[police whistling]

- Now, let's have the story, brother, and make it funny.

- Lieutenant Logan? Flash Casey, "Globe Press."

Remember me? Yeah, Wade's flunky.

Hey, listen, a man's been shot and a girl kidnapped.

They got away in a black sedan.

- Did you get the license numbers or anything?

- Yeah, I got pictures of the guy that did it!

We've got to find her, Lieutenant, we got to!

- Hello, Flash? Flash?

Hello, Flash?

- Where's Pop Lawrence?

- Him and his hat went out someplace.

- You know where?

- No, I ain't no information bureau.

Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot.

Blaine's been howling his head off, he wants you.

- What does he want?

- Why don't you see him and find out?

- Oh!

- They're just taking Addison into the operating room.

- Is he going to be okay? - They think so.

Well, I thought they'd have you in jail by now.

- Mr. Blaine, Kay's been kidnapped.

- Are you crazy? - Just about!

- What did you hang up for? I wasn't through talking to you.

- Gosh, Lieutenant, have you found her yet?

- Son, I'm a cop, not a magician.

Where are those pictures you said you had?

- What is all this? Now just what happened?

- Well, I got photos of those guys shooting Major Addison.

Kay was standing near the car, and the next thing I knew,

they pulled Kay into the car, and I called a cab

and tried to follow them, and I lost them.

- You mean you actually got pictures of Addison being shot?

- Yeah, the whole business. Three or four good shots.

- Hold the extra. I'll call you right back.

Where are your pictures?

- Oh, gosh, I must have left them in the phone booth.

- Where? - Drugstore, Eighth and Main.

- [claps hands] I know.

Central Drug Company, angel puss, and make it fast.

- Wade, you know all the bad boys in town.

Any idea who did this?

- Any one of about 1,000 guys.

[phone ringing]

- Central Drug Store.

Just a minute, I'll look.

Nope, no camera here. Sorry.

- Gone.

- They should have shot Casey instead of the Major.

- Lieutenant, isn't there something I could do to help?

- Could you identify them from pictures?

- Sure. - Let's go.

- Hey, Doyle!

Kay Lanning's been kidnapped, story coming right up.

- Well, hello.

This your new girlfriend, Gus?

- Keep out this, Flow.

- Oh, maybe she's your girlfriend.

- Never mind whose girlfriend she is, take her upstairs.

- That's easy. - And keep her there.

- Come on.

- Swell mess you've got us in. - All right, all right.

- Well, what are you going to do with her? She saw the whole works.

- We'll stop her mouth.

- Someone named Flash Casey work here?

- Yes.

- Well, here's his camera.

I found it in the telephone booth.

- Well, we appreciate your returning it.

- Oh, that's all right.

Me and the wife, we're traveling around the country in a trailer.

We're making photos ourselves as we go along.

Yeah, you know what--

- Oh, uh, have you seen Flash? - No, sir.

- Now, Billy, you take that to the darkroom.

Tell them if there's any exposures in there,

develop them and send them right back to me.

- Well, you're busy, and I'm busy, too,

I've got to get home and cook the supper.

- Have a good time, and thanks again for returning the camera.

- That's all right.

- Any luck, son?

- I don't know, I'm so worried, I wouldn't know them if I saw them.

- Take it easy, I know how you feel.

- If we only had my camera, we'd know who grabbed her.

- We'll get them. - I'm going back.

I've got to keep doing something.

- We'll phone you. If your camera shows up,

don't lose a second getting those pictures here.

- Don't worry.

- No use kicking up a fuss, sister,

nothing will happen to you.

Let me try this hat.

- To think that I got pictures of the guys that did it

and then I lose my camera.

- Your camera was returned.

- What? Where is it?

- I sent it to the darkroom to have your stuff developed.

- What's that?

- That's for Mr. Lawrence

- Lawrence, huh? I'll take care of that.

- But I-- - Get out!

Well, I'll be.

Jerry, kill the art stuff in the second extra.

I'm sending down some real stuff.

Send a boy up for it right away.

- Hank says Billy got my pictures.

- Then we've got to find Billy.

- Mr. Blaine-- - Where's my stuff?

- Mr. Blaine took it away from me.

He wouldn't give it back. He says he's going to run it in the extra.

- Oh, no, he won't.

- Say, what's all this running around for anyway?

I've never seen any good pictures taken in this madhouse.

- Give me my stuff.

- Get out of here, I'm using this.

- Aw, you double-crossing polecat!

That's for Pop Lawrence!

- Hey, what goes on here?

Holy jumping jiminy!

Hey, wait a minute!

You ingrown idiot, I don't want your pictures!

- Well, then, what do you want?

- Listen kid, believe it or not, I'm your friend.

I know who grabbed Kay and shot Addison!

- You do? Who? - King Ricker!

That's his picture you got there.

I know where he hangs out. We'll find her.

- Well, then let's get to the police!

- The police, my eye! You and I can handle this!

We'll grab some pictures that'll be heard around the world.

- Well, let's do it! - You've got what it takes?

- Sure. - Shake, pal.

Okay, let's go! Down!

- Hey, look.

- I told you we could handle this. [snaps fingers] Come on!

- Engine's hot. - What a break.

They're probably in the back room playing honeymoon bridge.

Listen, Doctor, you drive, I'll jump in the back and dress for the part.

- Okay.

[sirens wailing]

- Can you beat it? Some guys would steal a red-hot stove.

We'll get them.

Hey, Carl! Bob!

Follow that ambulance!

[sirens wailing]

[sirens wailing]

- Hey! - What?

- I was just thinking, if we crack up,

we got an ambulance handy!

- Yeah!

[sirens wailing]

- Here.

- What's that? - My IOU.

- What for?

- 50-50 on that balloon stuff you took, I got a bonus.

- I don't want it! - Take it!

How can I be an angel with 50 bucks on my conscience?

- Aw, keep it. Buy liniment with it.

- Aw, come on.

[sirens wailing]

Here you go, Doc.

[sirens wailing]

[sirens wailing]

Make a left at the next corner.

- Okay, Doctor.

[sirens wailing]

- You know, I don't get to go out very often.

Sometimes on Saturday night, we go to the Pelemar.

[sirens]

- We may not get out of here, kid.

- Yeah.

- I pushed you around plenty when you were with me,

but I did it to make a real cameraman out of you.

- Well, did you? - I'll tell the world I did.

Now watch your step and let's go.

- Rick! Rick!

An ambulance stopped out in front!

They're coming in here!

- Just what the doctor ordered for a getaway. Let 'em in.

Come here, Danny.

- Did you call for an ambulance, lady?

- Sure, why not.

- You're just in time, boys.

Keep it closed.

- Watch it, boss, they're phonies!

- Phonies, huh? I thought so.

- Wade, it looks like you and I are going on a long trip.

Yeah, a long trip.

- Fine, I like trips.

- What are you two half-wits talking about?

Drop that and put up your hands.

- Stay there and help them fight, you yellow egg!

- Not me, I'm getting out of here, sister!

Operator, on radio: Calling Car 16. Car 16.

Stolen ambulance, traveling at high speed.

Went through signals at Somerset Drive and Avalon Street.

That is all.

[indistinct speech]

- Come back here!

- Get that gun! - Oh, no, you don't!

- Flash!

- Calling Car 16, Car 16. stolen ambulance,

reported parked on Madison Avenue near Oak Street.

That is all.

- One for good luck.

- Take the next left turn.

- Whew. I guess that's that.

- Yeah, sandman is here at last.

- Well, Doctor, what do you suggest we do with the patient?

- Oh, let's give him back to the Indians.

- An excellent idea, Doc. An excellent idea.

- Oh, he's a large one, isn't he, Doctor?

- Oh, must be the Jones's for their evening of bridge.

Abra a porta pra eles, querida.

Bem, boa noite.

Ah, É você, Wade.

Deveria saber disso.

De quem foi a idéia de roubar uma ambulância?

Sabia que iríamos precisar de uma, Sargento.

Tem outra surpresa para vocês lá em cima.

Certo. Cuidem dele, rapazes.

Com cuidado, pessoal, ele está cheio de balas.

Um momento!

Essa é pra você, Casey, exclusivo para o "Snap News".